The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Quotes

  • Sheriff Hoyt: I smell bullshit.

  • Erin Hardesty: I didn't go to Mexico to watch you get s**t-faced for four days.
    Kemper Hardesty: That's what you do in Mexico!

  • Sheriff Hoyt: Get her in there God damn it she's deader than a God damn doornail.
    Sheriff Hoyt: Lift her up and just kind of pull her over your way there. She ain't gonna bite you. She's deader than a goddamn doornail.

  • Erin Hardesty: What's wrong with you fu**ing people?
    Sheriff Hoyt: (smiles) - Nothing wrong with us.
    Sheriff Hoyt: (smiles) Nothing wrong with us.

  • Erin Hardesty: (yells) - THAT'S NOT YOUR BABY!!
    Erin Hardesty: (yells) THAT'S NOT YOUR BABY!

  • The Tea Lady: Oh, my. Oh, my, my, my, my, my.

  • Henrietta Sawyer: Sweet boy. He's no harm. He always keeps to himself. Skin disease...He was just a little boy when it started. Didn't you look at his face?
    Henrietta Sawyer: Sweet boy. He's no harm. He always keeps to himself. Skin disease. He was just a little boy when it started. Didn't you look at his face?

  • Sheriff Hoyt: You kids shouldn't have messed with that little girl.

  • Sheriff Hoyt: (talking to Morgan; who's in the back seat of the cop car) - Where was y'all headed?
    Sheriff Hoyt: (talking to Morgan; who's in the back seat of the cop car) Where was y'all headed?
    Morgan: Dallas...for a Skynyrd concert.
    Morgan: Dallas, for a Skynyrd concert.
    Sheriff Hoyt: Skynyrd? Hell, i like Skynyrd. By god, how about that? We got something in common, don't we? Ha-ha-ha...Well, what are you gonna do with your tickets now, hot shot?
    Sheriff Hoyt: Skynyrd? Hell, I like Skynyrd. By god, how about that? We got something in common, don't we? Ha-ha-ha. Well, what are you gonna do with your tickets now, hot shot?
    Morgan: You can have them.
    Sheriff Hoyt: Is that bribery? (Smashes Morgan in the face with a glass bottle; breaking his teeth) Oh, that was really rude, wasn't it? Oh, look at you. How about that? Look at that shit. (The Sheriff pulls out his fake teeth) We got something else in common now. Ha-ha-ha...
    Sheriff Hoyt: Is that bribery? (Smashes Morgan in the face with a glass bottle; breaking his teeth) Oh, that was really rude, wasn't it? Oh, look at you. How about that? Look at that shit. (The Sheriff pulls out his fake teeth) We got something else in common now. Ha-ha-ha.

  • Sheriff Hoyt: (talking to Morgan) - You ain't lying to me again, are you? - Because i have never seen a weapon go off without somebody's finger on the fu**ing trigger.
    Sheriff Hoyt: (talking to Morgan) You ain't lying to me again, are you? Because I have never seen a weapon go off without somebody's finger on the fu**ing trigger.

  • Sheriff Hoyt: Now we're getting someplace...Who's killing who?!
    Sheriff Hoyt: Now we're getting someplace. Who's killing who?!

  • Sheriff Hoyt: [sniff-sniff-sniff] I smell bullsh*t.

  • The Old Man: (talking to Andy) - Come on, boy. Bring it...Bring it!
    The Old Man: (talking to Andy) Come on, boy. Bring it, Bring it!

  • The Old Man: What the hell are you doing in my house?

  • Sheriff Hoyt: Protect and serve. That's what we do.

  • Sheriff Hoyt: (talking to Morgan and Andy as they're putting the dead girl in the backseat of the cop car) - Hey! Get that nasty goddamn thing out of the back seat of my goddamn car! Put it in the trunk. What the hell's the matter with you? - ...Don't break...Don't break my stuff.
    Sheriff Hoyt: (talking to Morgan and Andy as they're putting the dead girl in the backseat of the cop car) Hey! Get that nasty goddamn thing out of the back seat of my goddamn car! Put it in the trunk. What the hell's the matter with you? Don't break. Don't break my stuff.

  • Sheriff Hoyt: (about the dead girl in the van) - I bet she's real unhappy, real sorry that you're getting fu**ing her blood all over your goddamn arm. You know, back when i was a young patrolman, i used to love wrapping up these young honies.
    Sheriff Hoyt: (about the dead girl in the van) I bet she's real unhappy, real sorry that you're getting fu**ing her blood all over your goddamn arm. You know, back when i was a young patrolman, i used to love wrapping up these young honies.
    Andy: Yeah, i bet you did.
    Sheriff Hoyt: Yeah, cop me a little bit of a feel every now and then, you know...Oh, look at that. She's kind of wet down there. What you boys been doing with this dead body anyway?

  • Sheriff Hoyt: (about removing the dead girl from the van) - How about giving me a hand here, a**hole? You don't expect me to do this by myself?
    Sheriff Hoyt: (about removing the dead girl from the van) How about giving me a hand here, a**hole? You don't expect me to do this by myself?

  • Sheriff Hoyt: Now, it's just an educated guess, but my money says your dead body is right there in that van.

  • Andy: Hey, junior. So, we're waiting here for the sheriff. Do you know where he is? - Ok. Well... where? Hey, junior. So, we're waiting here for the sheriff. Do you know where he is? - Ok. Well... where?
    Andy: Hey, junior. So, we're waiting here for the sheriff. Do you know where he is? Ok. Well... where?
    Jedidiah Sawyer: Home... getting drunk.
    Morgan: So, cool. Um, let's split. If the sheriff doesn't give a sh*t, then why should we?

  • Andy: Hey, junior. So, we're waiting here for the sheriff. Do you know where he is? - Ok. Well... where?
    Andy: Hey, junior. So, we're waiting here for the sheriff. Do you know where he is? Ok. Well... where?
    Andy: Hey, junior. So, we're waiting here for the sheriff. Do you know where he is? Ok. Well, where?

  • Kemper Hardesty: We're not gonna drive around this town with a dead girl in the back of our van!
    Luda May: Young man...what you do is your own business.
    Luda May: Young man, what you do is your own business.

  • Kemper Hardesty: I'll tell you this much...the next hitchhiker is shi*t out of luck.

  • Andy: (looking at the hitchhikers exploded head) - I guess that's what brains look like, huh? Sort of like, uh...lasagna...kind of.
    Andy: (looking at the hitchhikers exploded head) I guess that's what brains look like, huh? Sort of like, uh...lasagna...kind of.

  • Morgan: What are we gonna do?
    Kemper Hardesty: I don't know...uh...we gotta call the cops, I guess.
    Morgan: Um, yeah, on a list of bad ideas, that one goes, way up there. Oh, police officers, please, as you inspect a crime scene, which is now our van, please, ignore the colorful pinata, filled with marijuana, in case you happen to come across it, because it played no part, you know, whatsoever in the demise of this unfortunate, young, woman.

  • Teenage Girl: He's a bad man...He's a really bad man...He's a bad man.

  • Erin Hardesty: Baby, will you please tell me that we did not go to Mexico to buy pot?
    Kemper Hardesty: We did not go to Mexico to buy pot.

  • Morgan: Ok, the fact that 33,000 Americans each day are infected with a sexually-transmitted disease, and two-thirds of them are just about your age.
    Kemper Hardesty: Hey, Morgan. How are you the expert on the dumbest shit?

  • Narrator: The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of 5 youths. It is all the more tragic in that they were young, but had they lived very, very long lives, they could not have expected, nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day. For them, an idyllic summer afternoon became a nightmare. For 30 years, the files collected dust in the cold-cases division of the Travis county police department. Over 1,300 pieces of evidence were collected from the crime scene at the Hewitt residence. Yet none of the evidence was more compelling than the classified police footage of the crime-scene walk-through. The events of that day were to lead to one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history...the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

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