The Bogus Witch Project Reviews
Out of all of the endless spoof capitilizing on the Blair Witch, this has got to be the most elementary. The Bogus Witch Project makes The Scooby Doo Project look like freakin' Chaucer! Avoid this DVD at all costs! It's stupid, it's insipid, and it's just there to suckle on the hype generated from the upcoming Blair Witch 2.
One of the funniest thing about this whole DVD is the fact that the cover exclaims proudly that Pauly Shore is the star of the feature... despite the fact that he only appears in five minutes of it. Not a bad thing, of course... after all less Pauly Shore is more but no Pauly Shore is best.
God, this DVD blows.
The Bogus Witch Project consists of an assortment of different Blair Witch spoofs. For those of you not familiar with the Blair Witch, The Blair Witch Project is a famous horror movie. It was made by a group of young adults for about $20,000. It was filmed as a documentary, even though everything was fictional. It was about 3 kids who were looking for the Blair Witch, a witch that was rumored to live in the woods nearby their town. The legend of the witch had become pretty famous, so they took a camera, interviewed some people and set out into the forest in search of the witch. Soon they get lost and strange things begin to happen, such as little stick figures appearing outside their tent and stuff. The movie made tons of money and there was even a sequel. I wasn?t a big fan of the movie, but it was pretty popular and many people found it terrifying.
Unfortunately, The Blair Witch Project spawned many cr*ppy parodies. One of these is The Blair Thumb Project, which I own. I gave it 2 stars awhile back on epinions. After watching those cr*ppy parodies, The Blair Thumb Project looks like a masterpiece. The Bogus Witch Project is a series of Blair Witch parodies. The first is ?The Watt?s B*tch Project?. It follows the story of 3 young, white, kids who go to the ghetto to try and find the Watt?s B*tch. I?m not sure what the Watt?s B*tch is, but she supposedly killed a bunch of people in the ghetto. The kids interview some people and eventually get lost in the ghetto fending for their lives.
The second is the Griffith Witch Project, which follows the story of a similar trio of kids, this time looking for the Griffith Park Witch, who is supposedly an evil actress who lurks around in a park. Same thing as the first; the kids get lost in the park and stuff.
The third movie is The Bogus Witch Project. This stars Pauly Shore and basically has no plot. It?s just him auditioning for the role of the Blair Witch and than he tries stealing some midget?s girlfriend.
The fourth is the Blair Underwood Project, where a group of kids try and find Blair Underwood and the fifth is The Bel Air Witch Project, where a group of kids try and find a witch in the area of Bel Air. By now you?ve probably realized that all the plots are very similar, with minor changes. There is also one last sketch called The Willie Witch Project, but I can?t tell you the plot, since I didn?t watch it. There are also The Within The Woods segments, which are a group of extremely short skits or commercials running between the different short films which often have horror movie spoofs.
First of all, this movie is not funny. At all. I?ve never seen a movie less funny, besides The Laramie Project. The Laramie Project was a drama though, and a sad one at that. Every other movie I?ve seen has been funnier than The Bogus Witch Project. Superbabies was funnier. I didn?t even think it was possible to be as unfunny as this movie. I?ll give some examples of the humor. In not one, but two skits, we get a stupid joke involving the lead character looking at the screen with snot coming out of their nose. We also get two fart jokes, where the characters are sleeping and than they hear a noise and it turns out to be a fart. We get three jokes where it?s all dark and we think it?s night, but it turns out that the lens cap is just on. These jokes are repeated so many times, but sadly they?re the funniest jokes in the movie. I?ll explain some of the horribly unfunny things in all the short films.
The Watts B*tch Project is probably one of the funniest skits, but it still never made me laugh. I?ll explain some of the jokes in this skit.
-First we get a joke where instead of buying a camera, one guy buys a projector. Who the hell ever thought that was funny? Seriously, that?s just so dumb, and it?s one of the most memorable moments from the skit.
-One of the two classic, booger scenes takes place in The Watt?s B*tch Project.
-One of the two fart jokes takes place in The Watt?s B*tch Project.
There are also plenty of other horrible jokes. One of them is when a character says something along the lines of ?The Watt?s B*tch killed 4 people. When the cops came 3 months later to the crime scene, she had disappeared?. There?s also a dumb joke about the lens cap being on the camera and instead of little stick figures left outside their tent, the Watt?s B*tch leaves beer bottles and drugs. That?s the funniest stuff that happens in this skit; most of it is just boring or plain unfunny.
The Griffith Park Witch is one of my least favourite of all of them. This one?s just plain unfunny. The humor relies basically on the main character walking through the park, and picking up sticks and saying ?The Griffith Park Witch must?ve used this to kill her victims?. And this goes on for FREAKIN 20 MINUTES. That?s the funniest damn stuff that happens. Just thinking about it makes me want to beat all the cast up.
The Bogus Witch Project with Pauly Shore is probably the best skit since it only lasts 5 minutes. It definitely was the least funny, but was over the quickest. This is the worst Pauly Shore film I?ve ever seen. During the 5 minutes, Pauly Shore waltz around, talking about how he almost got cast in the Blair Witch and trying to get some midgets girlfriend, who can?t talk because the budget can?t afford it (Ha ha ha). This skit also involves a dumb lens cap joke and a dumb booger joke.
By this point I wasn?t paying as much attention as I was at the beginning, because nothing was funny. The two skits that followed were also pretty damn bad. The Bel Air Witch Project and The Blair Underwood Project basically didn?t even have any jokes in it. The creators just thought the concept of the kids searching for Blair Underwood or searching the Bel Air area was funny and decided not to really include any jokes. This was actually much more enjoyable than most of the other skits, but still wasn?t funny.
I didn?t even watch The Willie Witch Project. I was fed up. I doubt that it was any good. In fact, I?m pretty sure it?s damn horrible. I don?t care if you think that I should?ve watched the entire movie before reviewing it, why don?t you try watching it. It?s excruciating to watch. I couldn?t stand to watch the last 20 minutes. There is a chance that The Willie Witch Project was good, but I sincerely doubt it.
I?d have to say the funniest part of the movie was The within the Woods scenes, which were commercials and stuff. They had stuff like commercials for Bob! The Zombie Chef or clips of Bigfoot waiting for a bus. It?s not funny, but it?s as funny as this movie gets. I have to point out there was one thing that made me laugh, involving Stephen Hawking. Too bad it was only 30 seconds long. If they had just made the movie about that 30 second skit it could?ve been much funnier.
Overall, I?d have to say that any other movie you could watch instead of this would be funnier. It doesn?t matter if it?s a horror, a drama, a romance, a comedy, an action or a documentary, it?ll probably be funnier than this movie. Seriously, the only people I can imagine liking this are mentally retarded people, stoned people or clinically insane people. I don?t mean to sound harsh or rude, but this is horrible.
Another major problem is the direction. All the directors took the approach the Blair Witch Project did, by using hand held camera, as if the characters were filming it. Unfortunately, The Bogus Witch Project takes this to the extreme. The crew is constantly spinning the camera around and running with it. This is extremely annoying; the screen is blurry and spinning. I actually got dizzy watching this! I?m serious. I felt so bad. When the directing makes you dizzy, you know the movie is bad.
All other aspects of the movie are also horrible. Acting was probably the best aspect, although it?s still bad. For one, Pauly Shore is horrible, even worse than usual if imaginable. The other actors are also pretty bad, although still slightly better than Pauly. I wont get into whether they were convincing or not or any stuff like that, I?ll just say they?re bad. Some of the actors were o.k., considering they?re mainly a bunch of kids, but they?re pretty bad by regular standards.
One huge problem with this movie is how repetitive it is. 6 different Blair Witch parodies, all following the same formula and plot outline, with slight variations. It gets really boring after the second skit. Starts off with the kids looking for some sort of witch, than they lose their map and get lost somewhere. Eventually, one kid goes missing and they search for him, where he ends up either taking a p*ss, smoking, or doing any other idiotic things.
The best thing about this movie is that it is only 85 minutes, although it seems twice as long. I didn?t even last until the end. I?d still say that?s the best thing about the movie. If it was any longer than 1 hour and a half, I doubt anyone would make it to the ending.
Overall, this movie is the worst movie I?ve ever seen. It?s not at all funny; in fact it makes you depressed. This movie isn?t worth seeing in theatre (although I don?t think it did or ever will), renting or even watching for free. In fact, people should be paid to watch this movie, that?s how bad it is. Even if you don?t trust me, because only 2 people do at the moment, just listen to me this one time. This movie is horrible.