The Hangover Part II - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Hangover Part II Quotes

  • Phil: Shit! Not again. No, no, no no!


  • Alan: when a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.
    Alan: When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.


  • Mr. Chow: Halla, diddy a squala!!!


  • Tattoo Joe: This kid 9 years old. He's got balls twice your size. Show him your balls.


  • Tattoo Joe: No refunds, get the fuck out.


  • Alan: I spiked them with muscle relaxer's, and my A.D.H.D. medication
    Alan: I spiked them with muscle relaxer's, and my A.D.H.D. medication.


  • Stu: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!
    Stu: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?


  • Phil: Do you know where were going?
    Alan: Please address me as captain.
    Phil: Oh fuck you Alan. Do you know where were going captain?


  • Stu: We're livin here in Alan town. And he's drivin our lives into the ground. When we woke up we were wasted and drunk.


  • Mr. Chow: Pretty Boys..I have a lot of heat on my ass...I got, Bangkok, LAPD, Interpol, MSNBC
    Mr. Chow: Pretty Boys..I have a lot of heat on my ass...I got, Bangkok, LAPD, Interpol, MSNBC.


  • Alan: First my monkey, then my hat...How much more worse, can this day get?


  • Phil: You are not my friend anymore Alan!
    Alan: Not even in America?


  • Alan: I am sorry guys! This is not part of our plan..


  • Mr. Chow: I make love to lady boy!


  • Stu: Thats because I like F**king marshmallows!
    Stu: Thats because I like f**king marshmallows!


  • Alan: im kinda confused
    Alan: I'm kinda confused.
    Stu: i made love to a man with boobies
    Stu: I made love to a man with boobies.


  • Alan: This is nice isn't it? The three of us back together again?
    Stu: Oh God
    Stu: Oh God.


  • Stu: Oh my gawd, what is happening!


  • Alan: Nice jump phil!
    Alan: Nice jump Phil!


  • Alan: I don't get it. Is this a magic show?
    Alan: I don't get it, is this a magic show?


  • Alan: Hey everybody, here’s some fun facts. The population in Thailand if 63 million people. It is twice the size of Wyoming. It’s chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. Each year, approximately 13,00 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. The climate in Thailand…
    Alan: Hey everybody, here's some fun facts. The population in Thailand if 63 million people. It is twice the size of Wyoming. It's chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. Each year, approximately 13,00 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. The climate in Thailand…


  • Stu: Oh my god. Alan, your head!
    Alan: No, YOUR head.
    Alan: No, your head.


  • Alan: I'm a stay at home son.


  • Alan: When monkey nibbles on a penis.. itz funny in any language..
    Alan: When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.


  • Stu: I've got a demon in me.
    Stu: There's a demon in me.
    Alan: It's true, he has semen in him.


  • Alan: im sorry is this a magic show?
    Alan: Is this a magic show?


  • Alan: "We live an alternative lifestyle."
    Alan: We live an alternative lifestyle.


  • Alan: What is this,a P.F Changs?
    Alan: What is this a P.F. Chang's?


  • Alan: I'm a stay-at-home son.


  • Stu: "see that? thats a napkin over my orange juice so you guys cant roofie me"
    Stu: Ya see that? That's orange juice with a napkin on top. Ya know why? So nobody roofies me.


  • Stu: "i've got a demon in me."
    Stu: I've got a demon in me.


  • Stu: My uncle once found an albino polar bear
    Stu: My uncle Roger said he once saw an albino polar bear.


  • Alan: PIG!


  • Mr. Chow: Ya, but did you die?


  • Alan: I don't get it. Is this a magic show?


  • Alan: A monkey nibbling on a Penis is funny in any language
    Alan: When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.


  • Mr. Chow: ?Your password is bologna1?? ?Well, it used to be just bologna, now they make you add numbers!?
    Phil: Your password is bologna1?
    Mr. Chow: Well, it used to be just bologna, but now they make you add numbers.


  • Stu: Thats supposed to be done by a Registered Nurse .
    Stu: That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse.
    Alan: Im a Nurse . Just not Registered .
    Alan: I am a nurse, I' m just not registered.
    Alan: I am a nurse, I'm just not registered.


  • Mr. Chow: Holla, City of Squalla!
    Mr. Chow: Holla, city of squalla!


  • Phil: (To Tracy) We really fucked up this time...
    Phil: (To Tracy) No, this time we really fucked up.


  • Alan: (to mother) And would a cupcake kill you?!?!
    Alan: (to mother) Would a cupcake kill ya?


  • Tracy: What the hell is wrong with you three?


  • Phil: I just found his fucking finger!


  • Mr. Chow: What? Chow not good looking enough for woman?


  • Alan: "What is this a magic show?"
    Alan: What is this, a magic show?


  • Alan: Hey Phil check it out he's got a banana on his helmet, this guys the real deal #hangover2
    Alan: Hey Phil check it out, he's got a banana on his helmet. This guy's the real deal.


  • Stu: I have a demon inside of me!
    Alan: Yeah it's true, he has seamen inside him!
    Alan: Yeah it's true, he has semen in him!


  • Alan: Wolfpack only!


  • Phil: Where not friends anymore!
    Alan: Are you serious Phil, even in America?
    Phil: Yes!
    Stu: Your the bearded devil!


  • Stu: Alan, a registered nurse is supposed to do that!
    Alan: I am a nurse, just not registered!


  • Phil: I just found his fucking finger!!!
    Phil: I just found his fucking finger!


  • Alan: Is there a Long John Silver's here?
    Alan: Better than Long John's?
    Stu: No, but they are serving very good seafood.
    Stu: Yes.
    Alan: Better than Long John Silver's?
    Alan: I'll be the judge of that.


  • Phil: ...you would have married a cunt! Sorry, I'm allowed to it, its a bachelor party! Drink up everyone! Oh wait, we can't cause we're at a fucking IHOP!
    Phil: Sorry, I'm allowed to it, its a bachelor party! Drink up everyone! Oh wait, we can't cause we're at a fucking IHOP!


  • Stu: [to Alan] You're the bearded devil!!
    Stu: [to Alan] You're the bearded devil!


  • Stu: Alan, what did you do!?? Did you roofie me!?
    Stu: Alan, what did you do!? Did you roofie me!?


  • Tracy: Really, what is wrong with you three?
    Tracy: What the hell is wrong with you three?


  • Alan: (laughs) We love to party...
    Alan: (laughs) We love to party.


  • Phil: Your hair is gone. No...up.
    Phil: Your hair is gone. No, up.


  • Phil: Stu, pull that monkey in!
    Stu: He's so strong!!
    Stu: He's so strong!


  • Mr. Chow: What? Chow not good looking enough for woman?


  • Mr. Chow: Chow crossing!


  • Alan: Mother, I'm done with my lunch...its just sitting here.
    Alan: Mother, I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here.


  • Stu: There's a demon inside me.
    Stu: There's a demon in me.
    Alan: It's true, he's got semen inside him.
    Alan: It's true, he has semen in him.


  • Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack
    Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
    Alan: hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee...
    Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.


  • Kimmy: its bangkok baby...theres a reason they dont call it bangcunt!!
    Kimmy: You're in Bangkock, there's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt!


  • Alan: "I'm at my wits end!!!"
    Alan: I'm at my wits end!


  • Mr. Chow: Did you die?
    Phil: no, but i was shot.
    Phil: No, but i was shot.
    Mr. Chow: But did you die?


  • Alan: I wish monkeys could skype.


  • Alan: It's a monkey!


  • Alan: K as in knife...
    Alan: K as in knife.


  • Stu: I have a weakness for hookers... apparently, all kinds...
    Stu: I have a weakness for prostitutes apparently, all kinds.


  • Mr. Chow: Holla, City Of Squaller!
    Mr. Chow: Holla, City of Squalor!


  • Alan: Is there a Long John Silver's on the island?


  • Alan: I'm at my wits end!


  • Stu: FUCK THE POLICE!!!
    Stu: Fuck the police!


  • Alan: K as in Knife
    Alan: K as in Knife.


  • Alan: When A Monkey Sucks On A Weenis Its Funny In Any languge
    Alan: When a monkey nibbles on a weenus, it's funny in any language.


  • Alan: I wish monkeys could Skype...maybe some day...
    Alan: I wish monkeys could Skype. Maybe some day.


  • Alan: "I never get to keep no monkey"
    Alan: God, I never get to keep no monkey.


  • Stu: I have a demon in me!!!!
    Stu: I have a demon in me!


  • Stu: ive got a demon inside me.. A DEMON..!!
    Stu: I've got a demon inside me!


  • Mr. Chow: Sick night bitches!
    Mr. Chow: We had a sick night bitches!


  • Alan: What is this a P.F Changs?
    Alan: What is this, a P.F Changs?


  • Alan: I'm confused. Is this a magic show?
    Alan: I don't get it, is this a magic show?


  • Alan: First I lost my monkey... and now my hat... could this day get any worse?
    Alan: First I lost my monkey, and now my hat. Could this day get any worse?


  • Mr. Chow: Sometimes when you snort coke, your heart stops and starts up again... Read a book !
    Mr. Chow: Sometimes when you snort coke, your heart stops and starts up again. Read a book !
    Mr. Chow: Sometimes when you snort coke, your heart stops and starts up again. Read a book!


  • Alan: Did dessert stop around here? I didn't get that memo.
    Alan: I guess we don't do dessert anymore?


  • Alan: I was gonna have you sing "Burn it Up" by the Jonas Brothers, but then I remembered you don't like Indie music.
    Alan: I was gonna have you sing 'Burn it Up' by the Jonas Brothers, but then I remembered you don't like Indie music.


  • Alan: He swore he saw an albino polar bear once.. How can a polar bear be albino? They're already white.. This one was black
    Alan: My uncle said he once saw an albino polar bear.


  • Drug Dealing Monkey: Ooh ooh aah aah
    Drug Dealing Monkey: Ooh ooh aah aah.


  • Stu: (To Alan) You are the bearded devil!
    Stu: (To Alan) You're the bearded devil!


  • Alan: What is this, a PF Changs?
    Alan: What is this, a P.F. Chang's?


  • Kimmy: thats why its called Bangkok not bangcunt
    Kimmy: You're in Bangkock, there's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt!


  • Phil: fuck the police
    Phil: Fuck the police.


  • Mr. Chow: Holla! City of Squalla!


  • Alan: When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language.


  • Alan: I'm a stay at home son
    Alan: I'm a stay at home son.


  • Alan: This isn't Stu's first time getting married. There was a whore in Las Vegas
    Alan: This isn't Stu's first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas.
    Alan: This is not Stu's first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years...


  • Alan: When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language.


  • Alan: Would a cupcake kill you?!
    Alan: Would a cupcake kill ya?


  • Mr. Chow: We had a sick night, bitches!


  • Phil: Chow! What are you doing here?
    Alan: What he's my plus one.
    Alan: He's my plus one.


  • Stu: See that? That's orange juice with a napkin on it. So nobody roofies me.


  • Phil: You're not my friend!
    Alan: Don't say that Phil, are you serious,? even in America!?
    Alan: Don't say that Phil, are you serious? Even in America!?
    Stu: You're the bearded devil!


  • Phil: You ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff, Chow?
    Mr. Chow: I'm an international criminal, it always ends like this.


  • Alan: Its kind of nice the three of us being together again.
    Alan: This is kind of nice, isn't it? Three of us back together again?
    Stu: Oh God!!!
    Stu: Oh God!


  • Alan: I'm going to miss you, I wish monkey's could Skype... Maybe one day.
    Alan: I'm going to miss you, I wish monkey's could Skype. Maybe one day.


  • Stu: Oh my god! Alan, your head.
    Alan: No, your head.


  • Stu: All I wanted was a simple bachelor brunch.
    Stu: All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.


  • Stu: You're the bearded devil!


  • Phil: You're not my friend.
    Alan: Don't say that, Phil. Are you serious? Even in America?
    Stu: YOU'RE THE BEARDED DEVIL!!!
    Stu: You're the bearded devil!


  • Phil: It happened again....
    Phil: It happened again.


  • Alan: When a monkey nibbles on a weenus, it's funny in any language.


  • Alan: What is this, a P.F. Changs?
    Alan: What is this? A P.F. Chang's?


  • Stu: This is a real tattoo!


  • Alan: This is kinda nice isn't it? The three of us back together again?


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