The Muppets - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Muppets Quotes

  • Gary: So you guys aren't getting back together?
    Kermit: [sadly] No.
    Kermit: No.
    Mary: This is going to be a really short movie.


  • Rowlf: How come you didn't use me in the montage? I thought my story was pretty interesting. [cut to Rowlf snoring in a hammock on his porch surrounded by other Muppets]
    Rowlf: How come you didn't use me in the montage? I thought my story was pretty interesting.
    Kermit: Rowlf?
    Rowlf: Huh?
    Kermit: You wanna get back together?
    Rowlf: Okay. [cut back to the car] Classic.
    Rowlf: Okay. Classic.


  • Animal: No drums! No drums! Jack Black said no drums!


  • Walter: Wow Gary, I think it's so cool you're taking Mary to Los Angeles! I can't believe you guys have been dating for ten years!
    Gary: Well, yeah, Mary wanted to do something really special for our 10th anniversary, and she's always wanted to go to Los Angeles!
    Walter: Make sure and send me a postcard from the muppet studios!


  • Elderly Aisan Woman: Is this Universal studios?
    Tour Guide: Yes it is.


  • Walter: September? That's almost six months from now!
    Fozzie Bear: That's nothing. Once, I waited a whole year for September.


  • Mary: Not now eighties robot.


  • Hobo Joe: Why does everybody forget about Hobo Joe?


  • Mary: Gary I've gone home, I love you but you need to decide, are you a man, or a muppet?


  • Walter: Wow, Gary I think it is so cool you're taking Mary to Los Angeles, I can't believe you guys have been dating for ten years!


  • Walter: Eh, I think that's an Internet rumor, like theres a country called Turkey, ha!


  • Fozzie Bear: I have a stage family that loves me.
    Miss Poogy: Fozzie, what are you doing, hibernating? Next show starts in sixty seconds! We hired you and we can fire you, so get your hairy butt out here!
    Fozzie Bear: They terrify me. Let's go.


  • Hobo Joe: [In girly voice] Why don't you get things started?


  • '80s Robot: Grody to the Max
    '80s Robot: Grody to the max.


  • Gary: Life's a fillet o' fish.
    Gary: Yes it is!


  • Scooter: But, Chief, i can't go on stage.....
    Scooter: But, Chief, I can't go on stage...
    Kermit: Sure..... Just do what I do...... pretend that the audience are naked.
    Kermit: Sure... Just do what I do... pretend that the audience are naked.


  • Mary: "Party of one."
    Mary: Party of one.


  • Miss Poogy: "Who you callin' sister....SISTER!"
    Miss Poogy: Who you callin' sister... SISTER!


  • Fozzie Bear: Check it out! Fart Shoes! *fart* *fart*
    Mary: This is going to be a REALLY short movie.


  • Reporter One: "In other news, the muppets have put together a telethon to save the muppet theater with host, Jack Black."
    Reporter One: In other news, the muppets have put together a telethon to save the muppet theater with host, Jack Black.
    Bobo: "Oh he's pretty good."
    Bobo: Oh he's pretty good.
    Uncle Deadly: "Yeah. Good actor."
    Uncle Deadly: Yeah. Good actor.


  • Mary: "Your right up on the steed. Get down on one knee. And say marry will you marry me?"
    Mary: Your right up on the steed. Get down on one knee. And say marry will you marry me?


  • Mary: "Pleaseee!"
    Mary: Pleaseee!


  • Walter: "Hi-Ho guys!"
    Walter: Hi-Ho guys!


  • Laughing Kid: "What is this? 1978?"
    Laughing Kid: What is this? 1978?


  • Walter: You guys give the world the greatest gift of all.
    Kermit: "Babies?"
    Kermit: Babies?
    Walter: "No. The other one."
    Walter: No. The other one.
    Kermit: "Ice cream?"
    Kermit: Ice cream?
    Kermit: "Laughter."
    Kermit: Laughter.
    Walter: "Yes! The third greatest gift!"
    Walter: Yes! The third greatest gift!


  • Kermit: "Can we do it all again. Make them laugh like we did then."
    Kermit: Can we do it all again. Make them laugh like we did then.


  • '80s Robot: ''Bummer.''
    '80s Robot: Bummer.


  • Rowlf: ''Uh ok.''
    Rowlf: Uh okay.


  • Swedish Chef: ''Little chicke.''
    Swedish Chef: Little chicke.


  • Camilla: ''Boc-boc-boc''
    Camilla: Boc-boc-boc.


  • Mary: ''Individually.''
    Mary: Individually.


  • Fozzie Bear: ''I really dont wanna go back to Reno.''
    Fozzie Bear: I really don't wanna go back to Reno.


  • Tex Richman: ''People call me cash cause i got mo-money.''
    Tex Richman: People call me cash cause I got mo-money.


  • Kermit: "I geuss people sort of forgot about us.''
    Kermit: I geuss people sort of forgot about us.


  • Hobo Joe: ''All hail the hobo king!''
    Hobo Joe: All hail the hobo king!


  • Fozzie Bear: "The catch of the day was...salmonella! Wacka wacka!"
    Fozzie Bear: The catch of the day was...salmonella! Wacka wacka!


  • Hobo Joe: "Man this 3D is incredible!"
    Hobo Joe: Man this 3D is incredible!


  • Kermit: Come on guys, lets go-aaah *Kermit falls down*
    Kermit: Come on guys, lets go-aaah. [Kermit falls down]


  • Kermit: I guess all things considered, I'm 'pro-life'.
    Miss Piggy's Receptionist: That's awful!


  • Kermit: We drive.


  • Gary: "I'm a muppety man"
    Gary: I'm a muppety man.


  • Gary: Mary! Surprise! I figured out why you were mad at...[realizes she's gone]...me.
    Gary: Mary! Surprise! I figured out why you were mad at... [realizes she's gone] ...me.


  • Walter: You're my hero......you're on my watch
    Walter: You're my hero... you're on my watch.


  • '80s Robot: "Help I've been mugged."
    '80s Robot: Help I've been mugged.


  • Fozzie Moopet: "Yeah man what the WACKA!?!?"
    Fozzie Moopet: Yeah man what the WACKA!?


  • Kermit: "Hi-Ho Fozzie."
    Kermit: Hi-Ho Fozzie.
    Fozzie Bear: "Hi-Ho Kermit....Kermit?!?"
    Fozzie Bear: Hi-Ho Kermit... Kermit?


  • Swedish Chef: "Chickie."
    Swedish Chef: Chickie.


  • Lew Zealand: "I thought we agreed that a celebrity is not a people."
    Lew Zealand: I thought we agreed that a celebrity is not a people.


  • Mary: "Theres no one at this party that I don't already know."
    Mary: There's no one at this party that I don't already know.


  • Hobo Joe: "What am I invisible?"
    Hobo Joe: What am I invisible?


  • Hobo Joe: Five bucks to show you where your seat is! Thank you! It's..um..down there somewhere.


  • TV Executive: I'll shoot straight. You guys aren't famous anymore.
    Fozzie Bear: Wow! I wish she had shot a little more curvy!


  • Animal: In control!


  • Kermit: "We humbly ask that you give us back our studio."
    Kermit: We humbly ask that you give us back our studio.


  • Fozzie Bear: "Quick save the qushions!"
    Fozzie Bear: Quick save the qushions!


  • Statler: "And this is kermit the frogs old office.''
    Statler: And this is kermit the frogs old office.
    Waldorf: ''Or so we've been toad!''
    Waldorf: Or so we've been toad!


  • Fozzie Bear: "But I cant leave the moopets. Their like family to me.''
    Fozzie Bear: But I cant leave the moopets. Their like family to me.
    Miss Poogy: ''Fozzie! What the heck are you doing! Next show starts in 30 seconds. Get your butt in here now!''
    Miss Poogy: Fozzie! What the heck are you doing! Next show starts in 30 seconds. Get your butt in here now!
    Fozzie Bear: ''They terrify me. Let's go.''
    Fozzie Bear: They terrify me. Let's go.


  • Fozzie Bear: "But I cant leave the moopets. Their like family to me.''
    Fozzie Bear: But I cant leave the moopets. Their like family to me.
    Miss Poogy: ''Fozzie! What the heck are you doing! Next show starts in 30 seconds. Get your butt in here now!''
    Miss Poogy: Fozzie! What the heck are you doing! Next show starts in 30 seconds. Get your butt in here now!
    Fozzie Bear: ''They terrify me. Let's go.''
    Fozzie Bear: Terrify me. Let's go.


  • Kermit: "An evil oil baron is trying to take down the studio.''
    Kermit: An evil oil baron is trying to take down the studio.
    Fozzie Bear: "WHAT? Oh no! (Gunshot.) I mean uh...how tragic.''
    Fozzie Bear: WHAT? Oh no! [gunshot] I mean uh... how tragic.


  • Gary: "It's time to light the lights."
    Gary: It's time to light the lights.


  • Uncle Deadly: "That's it...."
    Uncle Deadly: That's it...


  • Miss Poogy: "You ain't seen the last of me. I'll be back!"
    Miss Poogy: You ain't seen the last of me. I'll be back!
    Miss Piggy: "Yeah yeah. Heard of mouthwash?"
    Miss Piggy: Yeah yeah. Heard of mouthwash?


  • Miss Poogy: "I told you I'd be back and now I am.....back!"
    Miss Poogy: I told you I'd be back and now I am... back!


  • Miss Piggy: "Let's try that lift again."
    Miss Piggy: Let's try that lift again.
    Pepe the Prawn: "Oy the lift again. Ok on my count. Three. Two." (Miss piggy jumps on him) "Ay poppy!"
    Pepe the Prawn: Oy the lift again. Ok on my count. Three. Two. [Miss piggy jumps on him] Ay poppy!


  • Miss Piggy's Receptionist: "She has an opening in....Next September."
    Miss Piggy's Receptionist: She has an opening in... Next September.


  • Crazy Harry: "Three. Two. One." (Explosion)
    Crazy Harry: Three. Two. One. [explosion]


  • Tex Richman: "The answer is no."
    Tex Richman: The answer is no.
    Kermit: "You could have just said that."
    Kermit: You could have just said that.


  • TV Executive: "That means no."
    TV Executive: That means no.


  • Miss Piggy: "Haven't you heard? One is the new two."
    Miss Piggy: Haven't you heard? One is the new two.


  • Tex Richman: "I think I'll call this room....The Kermit the frogs old office room!"
    Tex Richman: I think I'll call this room...The Kermit the frogs old office room!
    Bobo: "Very nice sir."
    Bobo: Very nice sir.


  • Uncle Deadly: "I can't seem to wipe this smile off my face."
    Uncle Deadly: I can't seem to wipe this smile off my face.


  • Uncle Deadly: "How charming. A finale."
    Uncle Deadly: How charming. A finale.


  • Fozzie Bear: "We could have Bunsen set Beaker on fire?"
    Fozzie Bear: We could have Bunsen set Beaker on fire?
    Beaker: "Meep!"
    Beaker: Meep!


  • Gonzo: "Have a seat."
    Gonzo: Have a seat.


  • Walter: "I'm a very manly muppet!"
    Walter: I'm a very manly Muppet!


  • Elderly Aisan Woman: "Is this the universal studio?"
    Elderly Aisan Woman: Is this the universal studio?
    Tour Guide: (Sighs) "Yes it is."
    Tour Guide: [sighs] Yes it is.


  • Mary: "Are you a man or a muppet?"
    Mary: Are you a man or a muppet?


  • Gary: Growing up is becoming who you want to be.


  • Uncle Deadly: "I can't deny that inside I am a muppet. Not a moopet!"
    Uncle Deadly: I can't deny that inside I am a muppet. Not a moopet!


  • Hobo Joe: "Why does everyone always forget about Hobo Joe!"
    Hobo Joe: Why does everyone always forget about Hobo Joe!


  • Gary: Am I a man or a muppet?


  • Hobo Joe: What about Hobo Joe? Why doesn't anyone remember Hobo Joe?


  • Animal: "No drums! No drums! Jack Black says no drums
    Animal: No drums! No drums! Jack Black says no drums.


  • Animal: "In control."
    Animal: In control.


  • Rowlf: "Hehehe classic."
    Rowlf: Hehehe classic.


  • Fozzie Bear: "What's worse Kermit. Briefly inconveniencing Jack Black. Or destroying the muppets?"
    Fozzie Bear: What's worse Kermit. Briefly inconveniencing Jack Black. Or destroying the muppets?
    Kermit: "Kidnapping Jack Black Fozzie!"
    Kermit: Kidnapping Jack Black Fozzie!


  • Mary: "It's time to meet the muppets."
    Mary: It's time to meet The Muppets.


  • Walter: "Your fans haven't left you. The world hasn't forgotten."
    Walter: Your fans haven't left you. The world hasn't forgotten.


  • Bobo: "I love geriatric humor."
    Bobo: I love geriatric humor.


  • Walter: "I think that's just an Internet roomer. Like there's a country called Turkey."
    Walter: Yeah, I think that's just an Internet rumor, like there's a country called Turkey.


  • Tex Richman: I make the baker make my bread out of dough! Oh no, no, don't eat it though, it'll make you ill, there ain't no flour in a hundred dollar bill!


  • Miss Piggy: Kermie! Kermie! Kermie! Kermie!


  • Kermit: ''This is boring.''
    Kermit: This is boring.


  • Statler: ''If I didnt know better, I'd say you just recited some important plot point.''
    Statler: If I didnt know better, I'd say you just recited some important plot point.
    Waldorf: ''I hope so. Otherwise I just bored the audience have to death.''
    Waldorf: I hope so. Otherwise I just bored the audience have to death.
    Statler: ''You mean half the audience is still alive?''
    Statler: You mean half the audience is still alive?


  • Scooter: ''You are all naked.''
    Scooter: You are all naked.


  • Rowlf: ''Hey, how come you guys didnt use me in the montage?''
    Rowlf: Hey, how come you guys didnt use me in the montage?


  • Kermit: "Let's travel by map!"
    Kermit: Let's travel by map!


  • Gary: I'm a Muppet of a Man
    Gary: I'm a muppet of a man.


  • Kermit: The lover , the dreamers and me
    Kermit: The lovers, the dreamers and me.


  • Walter: As long as there are Muppets. There is hope.


  • Fozzie Bear: "Wow, that was an expensive explosion. I can't believe we had that in the budget."
    Fozzie Bear: Wow, that was an expensive explosion. I can't believe we had that in the budget.


  • '80s Robot: R. E. N. O
    '80s Robot: R. E. N. O.


  • Fozzie Bear: I never wanna go back to Reno.


  • Tex Richman: Maniacal laugh... Maniacal laugh...


  • Gary: Sooner or later you have to believe in yourself
    Gary: Sooner or later you're going to have to believe in yourself..


  • Uncle Deadly: How charming, a finale.


  • Hobo Joe: Here's your tickets. Your seats are...somewhere.
    Hobo Joe: Here's your tickets. Your seats are... somewhere.


  • Walter: September? That's like six months from now!
    Fozzie Bear: That's OK. I once had to wait a whole year for September.
    Fozzie Bear: That's okay. I once had to wait a whole year for September.


  • Mary: "What happens at a Me Party, stays at a Me Party."
    Mary: What happens at a Me Party stays at a Me Party...


  • Sam Eagle: Welcome back to this edition of "everything stinks"
    Sam Eagle: Welcome back to this edition of 'everything stinks'.


  • Fozzie Bear: WAKA-WAKA !!
    Fozzie Bear: WAKA-WAKA!!


  • Miss Piggy: I can't believe I fell for Muppet Man.


  • Statler: I always dreamed we'd be back here.
    Waldorf: Dreams? Those where nightmares!


  • Animal: WOMANNN!


  • Beaker: Meeeeeeeeppppppp!


  • Kermit: "Maybe you don't need the whole world to love you, you know, maybe you just need one person"
    Kermit: Maybe you don't need the whole world to love you, you know, maybe you just need one person.


  • Swedish Chef: Bork bork bork!


  • Fozzie Bear: Hey look, fart shoes!


  • Miss Piggy: Oh look an omelet station!


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