The Vampire Hookers Reviews

  • Sep 07, 2016

    Now this Cirio Santiago joint on the other hand, it's a bit corny and lacking, in spite of the always welcome presence of Vic Diaz.and poor fucking John Carradine presumably trying to keep his creditors at bay. Rental? Maybe? It has a few amusing moments, that's for sure.

    Now this Cirio Santiago joint on the other hand, it's a bit corny and lacking, in spite of the always welcome presence of Vic Diaz.and poor fucking John Carradine presumably trying to keep his creditors at bay. Rental? Maybe? It has a few amusing moments, that's for sure.

  • May 17, 2015

    Such a fun and odd little movie. While the Hookers portion of the title screams that this title is some sort of softcore horror porn type film, you'd be surprised at the levels of nudity not present. Sure there's plenty of it but nothing like I was expecting. The story was a little different as well. Members of the US Navy on shore leave in some asian port find their commanding officer missing after he's lured away by a group of female vampires who pose as prostitues to lure men into their secret lair... in the cemetary! I really enjoyed that the film took place in another country with the whole port of call motif and sailors looking for a good time. The ever present John Carradine plays the head vampire and he reminded me of a Edgar Poe spouting Vincent Price as he's constantly reciting poetry to describe each situation. The film does have plenty of moments that are supposed to be comedic but I'm guessing most modern audience members will be laughing at everything else as this is a very campy and enjoyable romp through an old cult movie. Not for everyone but if anything above caught your fancy, check out... The Vampire Hookers. Warm blood isn't all they suck! They're a close encounter of a different kind!

    Such a fun and odd little movie. While the Hookers portion of the title screams that this title is some sort of softcore horror porn type film, you'd be surprised at the levels of nudity not present. Sure there's plenty of it but nothing like I was expecting. The story was a little different as well. Members of the US Navy on shore leave in some asian port find their commanding officer missing after he's lured away by a group of female vampires who pose as prostitues to lure men into their secret lair... in the cemetary! I really enjoyed that the film took place in another country with the whole port of call motif and sailors looking for a good time. The ever present John Carradine plays the head vampire and he reminded me of a Edgar Poe spouting Vincent Price as he's constantly reciting poetry to describe each situation. The film does have plenty of moments that are supposed to be comedic but I'm guessing most modern audience members will be laughing at everything else as this is a very campy and enjoyable romp through an old cult movie. Not for everyone but if anything above caught your fancy, check out... The Vampire Hookers. Warm blood isn't all they suck! They're a close encounter of a different kind!

  • Jan 05, 2015

    Stupid good sleazy fun. Worth a watch just to hear the theme song over the end credits.

    Stupid good sleazy fun. Worth a watch just to hear the theme song over the end credits.

  • Dec 25, 2013

    very very stupid, but that's the point. duh!

    very very stupid, but that's the point. duh!

  • Apr 03, 2012

    "It's not murder, it's dinner." Two sailors dock in the Philippines decide to venture off to get laid. Instead they only discover that the worse thing than an oriental tranny are Vampires that happen to be hookers. I guess that makes trannies more desirable. I'd rather take my chances with the vampire hookers. A pain in the neck is better than one in the butt. Anyway, like most hookers there are pimps and these vampire beauties have a pimp in the form of a Shakespeare speaking John Carradine. He makes the assumption that Shakespeare was a vampire. Makes sense, right? A whole lot of stuff doesn't make much sense in this oddity of a film like the ten minute "orgy" scene that is mostly made up of fondling and kissing that comes out of nowhere. It's well photographed and the nudity scale is about an 8 with just mostly breasts being shown. This is typical exploitation trash, but I really love the idea of Hookers being vampires. The best example, that I can think of right now, would be 'Bordello of Blood' which had the same idea except set in a brothel. This isn't the worse film I've ever seen. It's purposely comedic and it is funny in that so bad it's good sort of way. Best Tagline for this film: Warm Blood Isn't All They Suck!

    "It's not murder, it's dinner." Two sailors dock in the Philippines decide to venture off to get laid. Instead they only discover that the worse thing than an oriental tranny are Vampires that happen to be hookers. I guess that makes trannies more desirable. I'd rather take my chances with the vampire hookers. A pain in the neck is better than one in the butt. Anyway, like most hookers there are pimps and these vampire beauties have a pimp in the form of a Shakespeare speaking John Carradine. He makes the assumption that Shakespeare was a vampire. Makes sense, right? A whole lot of stuff doesn't make much sense in this oddity of a film like the ten minute "orgy" scene that is mostly made up of fondling and kissing that comes out of nowhere. It's well photographed and the nudity scale is about an 8 with just mostly breasts being shown. This is typical exploitation trash, but I really love the idea of Hookers being vampires. The best example, that I can think of right now, would be 'Bordello of Blood' which had the same idea except set in a brothel. This isn't the worse film I've ever seen. It's purposely comedic and it is funny in that so bad it's good sort of way. Best Tagline for this film: Warm Blood Isn't All They Suck!

  • May 30, 2009

    Vampire Hookers sorta fails as an intended erotic horror comedy; when all the jokes seem punch lined w/ farts and the only erotism is a mild 3 on 1. John Carradine (as head bloodsucker) quotes poetry believing Shakespeare is a vampire and its all in a very camp sorta way. At least it had a brisk running time

    Vampire Hookers sorta fails as an intended erotic horror comedy; when all the jokes seem punch lined w/ farts and the only erotism is a mild 3 on 1. John Carradine (as head bloodsucker) quotes poetry believing Shakespeare is a vampire and its all in a very camp sorta way. At least it had a brisk running time

  • Nov 09, 2008

    i am giving this john carradine movie the same score i gave contempt by jean luc godard

    i am giving this john carradine movie the same score i gave contempt by jean luc godard

  • Dec 16, 2007

    I'm pretty sure I saw this, but it was apparently unmemorable.

    I'm pretty sure I saw this, but it was apparently unmemorable.

  • Jun 05, 2007

    hookers who bring you to a graveyard to meet a shakespeare quoting old vampire. awesome.

    hookers who bring you to a graveyard to meet a shakespeare quoting old vampire. awesome.

  • Mar 18, 2007

    VAMPIRE HOOKERS ...WHERE COOL LETS GO...I LIKE THE SOUND OF THIS, INTERESTED?

    VAMPIRE HOOKERS ...WHERE COOL LETS GO...I LIKE THE SOUND OF THIS, INTERESTED?