Tommy Boy - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Tommy Boy Quotes

  • Tommy Callahan III: Brothers gotta hug.


  • Tommy Callahan III: No! Please! Ah god...son of a...


  • Richard: Late again Tommy?
    Tommy Callahan III: Shut up, Richard!


  • Tommy Callahan III: How do you know the guaranteed fairy isn't some crazy glue sniffer... He sneaks into your house once and that's all it takes. Next thing you know, there is money missing off your dresser and your daughter is knocked up! I've seen it a hundred times.
    Tommy Callahan III: How do you know the guaranteed fairy isn't some crazy glue sniffer. He sneaks into your house once and that's all it takes. Next thing you know, there is money missing off your dresser and your daughter is knocked up! I've seen it a hundred times.


  • Tommy Callahan III: If you want me to take a dump in a box, and mark it guaranteed I will... I've got spare time.
    Tommy Callahan III: If you want me to take a dump in a box, and mark it guaranteed I will. I've got spare time.


  • Tommy Callahan III: [when the ran over deer comes to] IT'S ALIVE!


  • Richard: [after Paul gets his nuts squashed] That will ruin his weekend.


  • Tommy Callahan III: Richard, who's your favorite Little Rascal? Alfalfa... or is it Spanky? ...Sinner.


  • Tommy Callahan III: HOLY SCHNIKE!


  • Big Tom: I once visited a prostitute during the war, and my life has been a living hell ever since!


  • Big Tom: 10 whisky sours and still sell the sob damn im good
    Big Tom: Eight whisky sours and I still sell the son of a bitch. Damn I'm good.


  • Zalinsky: What the American public doesn't know, is what makes it the American public.
    Zalinsky: What the American public doesn't know is what makes them the American public, alright?


  • Tommy Callahan III: That's gonna leave a mark!


  • Paul: Did you ever eat paint chips when you were a kid?
    Tommy Callahan III: Hehehehehehehehe..... Why?


  • Big Tom: Tell you what, I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it.


  • Richard: Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter
    Richard: Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.


  • Tommy Callahan III: hey, does this suit make me look fat?
    Tommy Callahan III: Hey, does this suit make me look fat?
    Richard: no, no, your face does.
    Richard: No, no, your face does.


  • Woman with Pen: Waitress Helen to Tommy: "Gosh, you're sick."
    Large Woman: Gosh, you're sick.


  • Tommy Callahan III: Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.


  • Zalinsky: Went a little heavy on the pine tree perfume there, kid?
    Tommy Callahan III: Sir, it's an taxicab air freshener.
    Zalinsky: Good, you've pinpointed it. Step two is washing it out.


  • Tommy Callahan III: Fat man in a little suit
    Tommy Callahan III: Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat.


  • Tommy Callahan III: Tommy want wingy.


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