Total Recall - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Total Recall Quotes

  • Johnnycab: Hope you enjoyed the ride.

  • Fat Lady: Get ready for a surprise!

  • Doug Quaid: Get your ass to mars.

  • Doug Quaid: Where am I?
    Johnnycab: You're in a Johnnycab.
    Doug Quaid: How did I get in here?
    Johnnycab: I'm sorry. Would you please rephrase the question?
    Doug Quaid: How did I get in this taxi?
    Johnnycab: The door opened, you got in. (rolls eyes) Hell of a day, isn't it?
    Johnnycab: The door opened, you got in. Hell of a day, isn't it?

  • Doug Quaid: When you hear the crunch you're there.

  • Doug Quaid: You, you're not you. You're me.
    Doug Quaid: No shit!

  • Doug Quaid: [Quaid points a gun at Dr. Edgemar's head] All right, let's say you're telling the truth and this is all a dream. I could pull this trigger and it won't matter!

  • Fat Lady: Two weeks...

  • Vilas Cohaagen: In 30 seconds you'll be dead, and I'll blow this place up and be home in time for Corn Flakes!

  • Doug Quaid: See you at the Party Ritchter!
    Doug Quaid: See you at the party, Richter!

  • Vilas Cohaagen: Otherwise I'll erase your ass.

  • Doug Quaid: Sew me dickhead!

  • Doug Quaid: YOU BLEW MY COVER!

  • Doug Quaid: Just shove real hard.

  • Doug Quaid: Here's the plan. Get your ass to Mars!

  • Doug Quaid: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...you think I'm the real Quaid? I am! [shoots enemies]

  • Melina: What have you been feeding this thing?
    Doug Quaid: Blonds.

  • Lori Quaid: You wouldn't hurt me, would you sweetheart? Sweetheart, we're married
    Doug Quaid: (shoots Lori) Consider that a Divorce
    Doug Quaid: [shoots Lori] Consider that a divorce.

  • Benny: Hey man! You need a cab?!
    Doug Quaid: What about that guy?
    Benny: He ain't got FIVE kids to feed!!!
    Benny: He ain't got FIVE kids to feed!

  • Benny: Man, I got FIVE kids to FEED!

  • Doug Quaid: See you at the party Richter!!
    Doug Quaid: See you at the party Richter!

  • Benny: Hey, Quaid! I'm gonna squash you!
    Doug Quaid: Benny! Here!
    Benny: [shouts] Where the fuck are you?
    Doug Quaid: [killing him with a large drill] SCREW YOU!

  • Johnnycab: Hello I'm Johnnycab, where can I take you tonight?
    Doug Quaid: Drive, drive!
    Johnnycab: Would you please repeat the destination?
    Doug Quaid: Anywhere, just go, GO!
    Doug Quaid: SHIT, SHIT!!!
    Doug Quaid: SHIT, SHIT!
    Johnnycab: Im not familiar with that address, would you please repeat the destination?

  • Johnnycab: The fare is 18 credits, please.
    Doug Quaid: Sue me, dickhead.

  • Doug Quaid: get your ass to mars
    Doug Quaid: Get your ass to Mars.

  • Doug Quaid: If I'm not me, then who the hell am I?

  • Lori Quaid: If I'm not me, then who the hell am I?
    Douglas Quaid / Hauser: If I'm not me, then who the hell am I?

  • Doug Quaid: (shoots his wife) Considerite a divorce.
    Doug Quaid: [shoots his wife] Considerite a divorce.

  • Tony: You've got a lot of nerve showing your face around here, Houser!
    Doug Quaid: Look who's talking

  • Doug Quaid: My name is not Quaid!

  • Tony: You got a lot of nerve showing your face around here, Hauser.
    Doug Quaid: Look who's talking.

  • Melina: That's your wife? What a bitch!

  • Vilas Cohaagen: Then i'll blow this place up and be home in time for corn flakes!

  • Doug Quaid: You are not you, you're me.
    Doug Quaid: No shit.

  • Doug Quaid: SCREW YOU!

  • Richter: Is this an illusion?!
    Richter: Is this an illusion?

  • Doug Quaid: Consider this a divorce.

  • Doug Quaid: [laughs] Did you think this is the real Doug Quaid? It is.

  • Doug Quaid: Here's the plan: get your ass to Mars.
    Doug Quaid: Now, this is the plan. Get your ass to Mars.

  • Doug Quaid: see you at the party richter!
    Doug Quaid: See you at the party, Richter!

  • Lori Quaid: Doug, honey... you wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married! [Lori goes for her gun, Quaid shoots her in the head, killing her]
    Lori Quaid: Doug, honey... you wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married! [Lori goes for her gun, Quaid shoots her in the head, killing her]
    Doug Quaid: Consider that a divorce!
    Doug Quaid: Consider that a divorce!
    Melina: That was your wife? [Quaid nods] What a bitch.

  • Vilas Cohaagen: In thirty seconds you'll be dead, and I'll blow this place up and be home in time for Corn Flakes.
    Vilas Cohaagen: In thirty seconds you'll be dead, and I'll blow this place up and be home in time for corn flakes.

  • Doug Quaid: Come on, Cohaagen! You got what you want. Give those people air!

  • Lori Quaid: Doug, honey... you wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married!
    Lori Quaid: Doug, honey. You wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married!
    Doug Quaid: Consider that a divorce!

  • Lori Quaid: No wonder you're having nightmares. You're always watching the news.

  • Doug Quaid: If I am not me, then who the hell am I?

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