Madea's Big Happy Family - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Madea's Big Happy Family Quotes

  • Madea: You gunna wish the sprem did a back stroke when it saw the egg tht created you
    Madea: You're gonna wish that sperm did a backstroke when it met the egg that made you.


  • Renee: if i have to get a J.A.B you aint gettin N.U.N
    Renee: If I have to get a J.A.B. you aint gettin N.U.N.


  • Madea: Sit down you black leprechaun looking like you're out of a damn box of chocolate, lucky charms.


  • Madea: Now I got silver hair, but I got silver bullets, too. Do you want one?


  • Joe: 1-800 CHOKE DAT HOE!


  • Joe: Haha, you was a hoe back in the day.


  • Cora: Who's my daddy Madea?!
    Madea: Well, Charlie Brown ain't yo daddy.
    Joe: Well yo daddy was..
    Madea: Joe.. You ain't in this, don't say nothin.. You don't know nothin'
    Cora: No, Joe can tell me who my daddy is... Who's my daddy, Uncle Joe??
    Brown: Yeah, say somethin' Uncle Joe.


  • Brown: Ya'll laughin' but I think I see the light!
    Joe: I think I see it too, All them colors u got on.. You ARE the light.
    Madea: Taste The Rainbow!!


  • Dr. Evans: I've also heard that you haven't had a colonoscophy
    Brown: Oh no, You see.. I drink Cola's all the time.


  • Aunt Bam: Hey, Honey.. Did the the docter ask for my number... Huh? Did he ask for my digits??


  • Madea: U on sit down so much.. When u die tell those people to bury u on ur stomach to give ur ass a break
    Madea: Just stay right where you at. Just plant your ass right there in that chair. Every time I come here, you sittin' in that chair. People waitin' on their cars, you sittin' in that chair. You supposed to be changin' the oil, you sittin' in that chair. Supposed to be changin' the windshield wiper blades, you sittin' in that chair. Supposed to wash the car, you sittin' in that chair. Let me tell you something: when you die, tell them people to bury you on your stomach to give your ass a break!


  • Brown: Ya'll all be laughin, but I think I see the light!
    Joe: I see the light too, hell with all them colors you got on, you are the light.


  • Sabrina: Byron you told her about my I.Q forreal that how you feelin
    Sabrina: You told her about my I.Q score for real.


  • Joe: Abort, abort! Evacuate the building! Aarrrrr! Arrrrrr!
    Joe: Abort, abort! Evacuate the building!


  • Madea: It will look like you got legs running up your back, when I get done wooping your ass .


  • Madea: See, y'all Christians is somethin'... y'all go pull out that Bible, but y'all don't know which prescripture to use for which situation. You got to find the right prescripture. There's a prescripture that says, "Let the redeemed of the Lord say so." Have you been redeemed by the Lord?
    Madea: See, y'all Christians is somethin'... y'all go pull out that Bible, but y'all don't know which prescripture to use for which situation. You got to find the right prescripture. There's a prescripture that says, 'Let the redeemed of the Lord say so.' Have you been redeemed by the Lord?
    Shirley: yes,
    Shirley: Yes.
    Madea: That's right, so if you've been redeemed by the Lord, and somebody does something to you that you don't like, even yo' kids, you can beat the hell outta them and just say, "So?" So that's what I'm'a do. I'm'a beat the hell outta them and say, "So?" And I'm'a bring them over here 'cause you've been redeemed, aight. It makes perfect sense, don't it? Halleluyer! Halleluyer!
    Madea: That's right, so if you've been redeemed by the Lord, and somebody does something to you that you don't like, even yo' kids, you can beat the hell outta them and just say, 'So?' So that's what I'm'a do. I'm'a beat the hell outta them and say, 'So?' And I'm'a bring them over here 'cause you've been redeemed, aight. It makes perfect sense, don't it? Halleluyer! Halleluyer!


  • Aunt Bam: Row Row Row your Hoe up and down the street, Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, she is just a piece of meat!


  • Madea: These stretch marks is a road map to heaven, hell if you follow this GPS it's gon' take you some where you ain't never been befo'
    Madea: These stretch marks is a road map to heaven, hell if you follow this GPS it's gon' take you some where you ain't never been befo'.


  • Madea: you look like you cam outta a box of chocolate lucky charms.
    Madea: You look like you came out of a box of chocolate Lucky Charms!


  • Joe: 1-800-CHOKE THAT HOE
    Joe: 1-800-CHOKE THAT HOE.


  • Madea: Helurrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!
    Madea: Helurrrrrr!


  • Sabrina: byriiiiiiinnnnnn
    Sabrina: Byriiiiiiinnnnnn.


  • Madea: Hallelujarr!


  • Madea: When a lady walk in you say "hellur!" Hellur?!


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