Universal Soldier: The Return Reviews

  • Jun 15, 2019

    Yall just hate good content

    Yall just hate good content

  • Nov 10, 2018

    Before "Independence Day" and before even "Stargate," Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin made an underrated Jean-Claude Van Damme sci-fi action film where he and Dolph Lundgren play soldiers killed in Vietnam who find themselves reanimated and turned into programmable cyborg super soldiers. That film was followed by two made-for-TV sequels and then by this film, making it the fourth film in the franchise, although this sequel ignores the events of those TV movies, instead picking up following the events of the first film. JCVD has removed his cybernetic implants, so he's a regular ol' human now and is doing consulting work for the military. The Universal Soldier program is still running and the soldiers are getting an upgrade by being run by a new supercomputer. However, when the supercomputer finds out the UniSol program is being shutdown, the computer goes all Wargames and uses the programable soldiers to protect itself. Since JCVD used to be one the the soldiers, he supposedly knows how they think, fight, and feel, enabling him to fight them off better than others. Oh, there's an even a dumber subplot involving his daughter being kidnapped. All around, this film is pretty dumb and uninteresting, despite a halfway decent cast, which besides JCVD includes professional wrestler Bill Goldberg, Michael Jai White, Xander Berkeley, Daniel von Bargen, and playmate Kiana Tom. However, Jean-Claude is an actor who I'm strangely entertained by, regardless of the quality of film he's appearing in (similar to my affinity for low-quality Steven Seagal films), so JCVD's high kicks made this fourth Universal Soldier film watchable despite its many faults.

    Before "Independence Day" and before even "Stargate," Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin made an underrated Jean-Claude Van Damme sci-fi action film where he and Dolph Lundgren play soldiers killed in Vietnam who find themselves reanimated and turned into programmable cyborg super soldiers. That film was followed by two made-for-TV sequels and then by this film, making it the fourth film in the franchise, although this sequel ignores the events of those TV movies, instead picking up following the events of the first film. JCVD has removed his cybernetic implants, so he's a regular ol' human now and is doing consulting work for the military. The Universal Soldier program is still running and the soldiers are getting an upgrade by being run by a new supercomputer. However, when the supercomputer finds out the UniSol program is being shutdown, the computer goes all Wargames and uses the programable soldiers to protect itself. Since JCVD used to be one the the soldiers, he supposedly knows how they think, fight, and feel, enabling him to fight them off better than others. Oh, there's an even a dumber subplot involving his daughter being kidnapped. All around, this film is pretty dumb and uninteresting, despite a halfway decent cast, which besides JCVD includes professional wrestler Bill Goldberg, Michael Jai White, Xander Berkeley, Daniel von Bargen, and playmate Kiana Tom. However, Jean-Claude is an actor who I'm strangely entertained by, regardless of the quality of film he's appearing in (similar to my affinity for low-quality Steven Seagal films), so JCVD's high kicks made this fourth Universal Soldier film watchable despite its many faults.

  • Oct 23, 2018

    The 2nd of 4 Universal Soldier movies. A great follow-up to the original with a less memorable foe this time around but with the Same Vane damme charm.

    The 2nd of 4 Universal Soldier movies. A great follow-up to the original with a less memorable foe this time around but with the Same Vane damme charm.

  • Apr 11, 2018

    One of most Underrated films of all time, a lot better than Regeneration & Day Of Reckoning. Its Van Damme fighting Bill Goldberg & Michael Jai White in a fast paced 80 minute Action flick, when the UniSols take over & go into killer mode, it reminds me of the Borg in First Contact, Seth also reminds me of the Borg Queen, This feels like Aliens but with UniSols instead. Trust me, its Nowhere near as bad as what people make it out to be.

    One of most Underrated films of all time, a lot better than Regeneration & Day Of Reckoning. Its Van Damme fighting Bill Goldberg & Michael Jai White in a fast paced 80 minute Action flick, when the UniSols take over & go into killer mode, it reminds me of the Borg in First Contact, Seth also reminds me of the Borg Queen, This feels like Aliens but with UniSols instead. Trust me, its Nowhere near as bad as what people make it out to be.

  • Feb 03, 2017

    Mindless, cliche action drivel.

    Mindless, cliche action drivel.

  • Jun 13, 2016

    I guess I must be the only person on this planet that actually loves this movie

    I guess I must be the only person on this planet that actually loves this movie

  • Apr 05, 2016

    This movie is just awful, and I have a bit of history. First of all, I liked the first Universal Soldier, Lundgren vs. Van Damme, one liners, good sets, quick pace competent screen fighting, it was pretty good, very sequel worthy. So, I was a little excited to see the second one despite the fact that I never liked Bill Goldberg the wrestler, mostly because his moves suck, but also because he couldn't act. But playing a regenerated dead soldier in a movie seemed like one role that he couldn't mess up. But then this movie happened, and it almost killed a promising franchise. It is one of those movies about a super computer that doesn't look like a computer, it's a rotating cube in a glass bubble or some shit that becomes self-aware and tries to take over the world or kill a bunch of people, it's been done a million times and usually pretty poorly. At the time of The Return's release, I didn't realize that a 2nd and 3rd Van Dammeless Universal Soldier movies had been released, and it doesn't much matter. The Return was playing at Seattle's Northgate cinema, a single feature cinema that is no longer in existence. I tried to get a summer job there after my Freshman year in college, hoping to see Universal Soldier: The Return for free, or actually get paid to see it. I didn't get the job, never paid to see it. Rented it one time, thought it sucked, then I bought one of those compilation DVDs that they sell for five bucks in a basket near the checkout stand at a one-stop-shop's electronics section. I thought it would be worth some small fraction of five bucks to re-watch it, but not only was I wrong, I feel that I was wronged. THIS MOVIE SUCKS.

    This movie is just awful, and I have a bit of history. First of all, I liked the first Universal Soldier, Lundgren vs. Van Damme, one liners, good sets, quick pace competent screen fighting, it was pretty good, very sequel worthy. So, I was a little excited to see the second one despite the fact that I never liked Bill Goldberg the wrestler, mostly because his moves suck, but also because he couldn't act. But playing a regenerated dead soldier in a movie seemed like one role that he couldn't mess up. But then this movie happened, and it almost killed a promising franchise. It is one of those movies about a super computer that doesn't look like a computer, it's a rotating cube in a glass bubble or some shit that becomes self-aware and tries to take over the world or kill a bunch of people, it's been done a million times and usually pretty poorly. At the time of The Return's release, I didn't realize that a 2nd and 3rd Van Dammeless Universal Soldier movies had been released, and it doesn't much matter. The Return was playing at Seattle's Northgate cinema, a single feature cinema that is no longer in existence. I tried to get a summer job there after my Freshman year in college, hoping to see Universal Soldier: The Return for free, or actually get paid to see it. I didn't get the job, never paid to see it. Rented it one time, thought it sucked, then I bought one of those compilation DVDs that they sell for five bucks in a basket near the checkout stand at a one-stop-shop's electronics section. I thought it would be worth some small fraction of five bucks to re-watch it, but not only was I wrong, I feel that I was wronged. THIS MOVIE SUCKS.

  • Jan 13, 2016

    Did not stand up to the original one

    Did not stand up to the original one

  • Dec 03, 2015

    Bill Goldberg should stick to wrestling! Oy!

    Bill Goldberg should stick to wrestling! Oy!

  • Oct 12, 2015

    Respetable secuela que conserva los elementos de ciencia ficción de la primera, además del personaje principal y de un nuevo elenco que aportan buenas coreografías de peleas. Sin duda responde al hecho de que segundas partes nunca fueron buenas. Universal Soldier The Return marca la 4a. entrega de la serie pero por decirlo así es la segunda de la serie en la que participa Van Damme con el mismo personaje pero seis años después, en pocas palabras, sí tiene continuidad y agrega elementos de ciencia ficción más avanzados que la hacen un poco más entretenida en ese aspecto que la primera, aunque sus actuaciones no son tan buenas. Si ya vio la primera, pues no pierde nada en ver la segunda parte.

    Respetable secuela que conserva los elementos de ciencia ficción de la primera, además del personaje principal y de un nuevo elenco que aportan buenas coreografías de peleas. Sin duda responde al hecho de que segundas partes nunca fueron buenas. Universal Soldier The Return marca la 4a. entrega de la serie pero por decirlo así es la segunda de la serie en la que participa Van Damme con el mismo personaje pero seis años después, en pocas palabras, sí tiene continuidad y agrega elementos de ciencia ficción más avanzados que la hacen un poco más entretenida en ese aspecto que la primera, aunque sus actuaciones no son tan buenas. Si ya vio la primera, pues no pierde nada en ver la segunda parte.