Vampire Assassins Reviews
Guy on the cover isn't even in the movie. It was a picture promo homage to Blade, for which this movie was "inspired".
Generally terribble acting combined with equally terrible special effects and plot holes make this blow up like the vampires when they get staked and enshrouded with lightning. What? Yeah. That happens.
It was so bad I couldn't stop watching; much like a train wreck.
It seems like it was made like a short independent movie that went on far too long using a cast that had little to no experience acting. If it is true that it takes a good actor to make a bad script appear good, then the movie is an example of what happens when both the script and actors are terrible.
The only good element of the movie is that if you are really, really high, the movie would be funny and I mean you'd have to be really stoned almost to the point of seeing pink elephants.
The only joy comes from the innapropriately funny moments created by the awful character speech and a plot that jumps from place to place. I had to watch the whole thing to review it for a magazine and found myself making a game of it:
* How soon will the cop have to hand in his badge? Answer: 7 minutes
* Mental note to check IMDB to see if that white-haired guy was the oldest baddie henchman to appear in movie history.