Vampire Dog (2012)
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For those who think that the The Twilight series are the worst things associated with Vampires clearly haven't seen Vampire Dog. Vampire Dog might be a kid friendly movie trying get across a message about fitting in a new school and anti-bullying, but it fails to even entertain kids. Vampire Dog is about a kid who gets his deceased grandfather's vampire dog (because apparently all grandparents have a vampire dog) and there's some plot about saving a school from closing down and some stupid adults trying to this vampire dog for an anti-aging product. No wonder I was only the one in theaters and it failed to entertain for most of it duration. This movie takes place in Legosi county, yes, there's a reference to Bella Legosi Dracula in a movie where a dog is a vampire. The characters here are one dimensional, the villains are stupid, and has many pointless moments. One of these pointless moments being a kid dreaming about acting like a monkey around a girl he has a crush on, as far as I know this had no relevance of any kind. The jokes are very unfunny and they constantly fall flat. Get this, the vampire dog doesn't like blood and instead eats red jelly. I still can't believe this even after watching it and what kind of vampire doesn't survive on blood. One of my main problems with this movie being the love interest who's a nerd and you can tell she's a nerd because she wears glasses. The plot is very boring skipping nearly every chance to explain something. In one scene our talking vampire dog tells us a bit about his past in 1942 and then cuts to a screen saying "A While Later" and ending his story with "and that's why the chicken cross the road". How did a story that started in 1942 end with a chicken crossing the road? Though by far one of the worst aspect about our vampire dog is that he's allergic to sunlight yet there's time he makes contact with sunlight and doesn't get hurt. Believe it or not our main character love interest actually finds a cures for the vampire dog illness of sunlight which just happens to be allergy medicine. So the next time a vampire can't go into the sunlight just tell to buy allergy medicine and they'll be just fine according to this movie. The acting here are at the same level as the special effects, uninspired and lazy. The acting is both bland and wooden. Especially the villains acting whose performances are over the top that they must have come from a rejected Disney TV show. Even during the bloopers during in the closing credits does it show our actors messing up on the simplest of scene, my favorite blooper being a grown man failing to break a package of eggs by sitting on them. The special effects are just there to be unconvincing, you won't believe a vampire dog can hypnotize people into acting like chickens or talk. Vampire Dog is a movie that even Disney would even call too childish. There's better family movies you could watch that won't fail to entertain you or anybody for that matter. If you ever see a copy of Vampire Dog just leave alone as this is one vampire better left at a pound.
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