Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant Reviews

May 6, 2011
Full Review | Original Score: D+
October 26, 2009
This is one of the worst films of the year.
October 23, 2009
Unfortunately Weitz can't quite get a handle on what the film should be, despite teaming up with the talented Brian Helgeland on the script.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
October 23, 2009
A vampire movie in sore need of a transfusion.
October 23, 2009
We never get under the skin of anyone here. Freaks never become characters. They're objects of derision.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
October 23, 2009
Harry Potter needn't call time out on his Quidditch game, and Edward Cullen can stick to his beauty rest.
Full Review | Original Score: C-
October 23, 2009
Mixing horror and comedy while minimizing the gore, writer-director Paul Weitz serves up a witty adventure fantasy with a tasty dollop of schadenfreude.
October 23, 2009
Tests its viewers' patience even as it strives to build their loyalty.
Read More | Original Score: 2/5
October 23, 2009
Unreeling like a feature-length trailer, 'Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant' suffers from premature sequelitis.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
October 23, 2009
While it celebrates the creative and the imagined and introduces us to colorful characters, it's bland and dull.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
October 23, 2009
An inept fantasy that wants to be a sort of hip Goth legend...
Full Review | Original Score: 0/4
October 23, 2009
Jammed with story threads that don't cohere, Cirque commits the cardinal sin for a vampire movie: It's bloodless.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
October 23, 2009
Cirque du Freak is disjointed and disorganized, and it meanders when it needs to gallop.
October 23, 2009
It's clear that the filmmakers had a hard time adapting Darren Shan's books, made the movie way too long and then hacked indiscriminately at the last minute. Some important scenes are cut off abruptly, and others seem to be missing altogether.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
October 23, 2009
There are also so many characters that some barely register, while others - like our teen hero - are just unlikeable. It's very energetic, but a more relaxed sequel, in which everyone has fun, might be a big improvement.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/5
October 23, 2009
The film can't decide whether it's an earnest fantasy flick or a quirky horror comedy, or whether it's meant for kids or adults -- no wonder it appears to have two titles.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
October 23, 2009
Perhaps best of all, the movie doesn't take itself too seriously. It's creepy but tinged with sarcasm and infused with silly fun.
Read More | Original Score: 2.5/4
October 23, 2009
The script, by Brian Helgeland and director Paul Weitz, frequently strays off course, though the underlying story is always compelling. And, just like Twilight, this movie doesn't end so much as beg to be continued.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/4
October 22, 2009
The film shuffles together episodes from the first three volumes of the 12-book Cirque saga, which may explain its rushed, patchy feel. It unfurls like a series of skits.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
October 22, 2009
The movie has no sense of magic or fun; the characters never seem to have anything at stake. It's just a lot of computer graphics and gleefully hamming-it-up actors.
Read More | Original Score: 2/4
October 22, 2009
What's best about the flick is that everything is so, well, normal. Reilly, in particular, delights in responding to the fantastical with the practical.
Full Review | Original Score: B
October 22, 2009
Chris Massoglia is almost wholly charisma-free, a handsome, hesitant two-by-four who makes you appreciate the rich thespian skills of Daniel Radcliffe. Casting an unknown is always a gamble. This time the house wins.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
October 22, 2009
Is it too much to ask that a narrative film have a beginning, a middle, and an end?
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
October 22, 2009
While Twilight will make more money and get more attention, the darkly comic Cirque du Freak boasts the shaggy charm of the natural underdog.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/5
October 22, 2009
A textbook example of how trying to please everyone ends up pleasing no one, Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is a Frankenstein's monster of a movie, all stitches and seams and disparate parts.
October 22, 2009
It's ... a mess. The movie is shot through with curious disconnects. Often within a single sequence of events, we won't know where we are, or how they're related in space or time.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
October 21, 2009
When Weitz and writer Brian Helgeland try to drape a plot over the colorful characters, the movie goes fuzzy.
Read More | Original Score: 2.5/4
October 21, 2009
The supernatural and its accompanying history of half-vampires and vampaneze never establishes itself as anything but ridiculous.
October 21, 2009
Don't bother to take notes, because subplots go nowhere, and characters -- many played 
 by well-known actors -- barely get screen time.
Full Review | Original Score: D+
October 21, 2009
The movie's big drawback is that it isn't silly enough.
Full Review | Original Score: 3/5
October 21, 2009
At the very least, such triteness will dredge up a desire to keep the Weitz family -- brother Chris was responsible for the leaden Golden Compass debacle -- away from the first chapters of big-budget franchises.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
October 20, 2009
The vampire trend continues, but the only authentic bloodsuckers in Cirque du Freak are its producers and studio execs.
September 28, 2009
The Vampire's Assistant is too busy making impossible claims about just how spectacular its sequels will be to serve up a self-contained story with a satisfying finale.