Vampires Suck - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Vampires Suck Reviews

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Randall King
Winnipeg Free Press
July 25, 2014
It's been two whole years since the team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer subjected us to one of its godawful parodies. Alas, the vacation is over.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Dennis King
Tulsa World
July 25, 2014
With the level of humor here running to flatulence jokes, groin kicks and high-school smart-aleck cracks, their movie does, indeed, (surely no other critic in the world will be this clever) SUCK!
Full Review | Original Score: 0.5/4
Philip French
Observer (UK)
July 25, 2014
A witless, slavish pastiche of the series of romantic dramas based on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight novels. It is a knowing film that knows nothing about comedy.
W. Scott Poole
July 25, 2014
Vampires Suck, and films like it, not only fail to parody elements of contemporary society, they barely spoof the genre they are trying to mock.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/10
Kevin Carr
7M Pictures
January 6, 2014
For the most part, the jokes are mildly relevant at least
Full Review | Original Score: 3/5
Mark Bell
Film Threat
June 3, 2013
I know comedy is subjective, so grant me that Vampires Suck just did not make me laugh. It probably doesn't help that, as a spoof on the Twilight franchise, it's making fun of movies I also don't enjoy.
Full Review | Original Score: 0.5/5
Top Critic
Rafer Guzman
June 3, 2013
It's almost as cynical as the actual Twilight, and not nearly as funny.
Ron Yamauchi
Georgia Straight
June 3, 2013
It is as monotonous and predictable as rain in November.
Top Critic
Elizabeth Weitzman
New York Daily News
June 3, 2013
All but the most die-hard fans can agree that the Twilight movies are spoof-worthy. So it's too bad they don't get a worthy spoof.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Dennis Schwartz
Ozus' World Movie Reviews
February 4, 2013
An insult to other bad vampire movies, which is saying a mouthful.
Full Review | Original Score: C-
John Gholson
February 9, 2012
There are few things worse than watching a comedy flatline for over an hour, tossing its "funny parts" into a vacuum of uncomfortable silence.
James Luxford
The National (UAE)
August 30, 2011
A banal mess that sacrifices anything resembling satire for a series of smutty jokes.
Full Review | Original Score: 0/5
Mike Barnard
Future Movies UK
February 18, 2011
Only Friedberg and Seltzer could film this dross with the belief they are making even a half-decent comedy.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/10
James Plath
Movie Metropolis
December 14, 2010
Casting two lookalikes and coaching your young actors to mimic the trio from 'Twilight' isn't enough to make for a great parody.
Full Review | Original Score: 5/10
Gareth C. Evans
Future Movies UK
October 30, 2010
There was a time when, for a certain generation, the release of a new Naked Gun or Hot Shots movie would be cause for real excitement.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/10
Russell Lewin
SFX Magazine
October 19, 2010
A movie that will have you pining to watch the real Twilight films. Yes, it's that bad.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5
Allan Hunter
Daily Express (UK)
October 18, 2010
A witless, puerile spoof of the Twilight movies.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
October 18, 2010
Vampires Suck misses its targets in spectacular fashion thanks to the directors' usual approach of simply recreating scenes from the original movies without any real understanding of what to satirise or even how to go about it.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
David Edwards
Daily Mirror (UK)
October 15, 2010
It's not quite as bad as Friedberg and Seltzer's usual output, but only in the way that measles is better than mumps.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Jennie Kermode
Eye for Film
October 15, 2010
So many accurate puns could be made about the title of this film that it hardly seems worth bothering.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5
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