Vampires Suck - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Vampires Suck Reviews

Top Critic
Rafer Guzman
Newsday
June 3, 2013
It's almost as cynical as the actual Twilight, and not nearly as funny.
Top Critic
Elizabeth Weitzman
New York Daily News
June 3, 2013
All but the most die-hard fans can agree that the Twilight movies are spoof-worthy. So it's too bad they don't get a worthy spoof.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Top Critic
Tom Huddleston
Time Out
October 13, 2010
A few broader references might have made this punishing one-note trawl through the eminently spoofable tween-vamp saga slightly more watchable.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/5
Top Critic
Peter Travers
Rolling Stone
August 26, 2010
This movie sucks more.
Full Review | Original Score: 0/4
Top Critic
Nick Schager
Time Out
August 23, 2010
Below bottom-of-the-barrel.
Full Review | Original Score: 0/5
Top Critic
Michael Ordoņa
Los Angeles Times
August 19, 2010
Plenty of gags fall flat, but writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... have tapped the vein more effectively than their norm, with enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality.
Top Critic
Nick Pinkerton
L.A. Weekly
August 19, 2010
If you've ever read a single book -- we'll include Stephenie Meyer -- you're probably better than this.
Top Critic
Natalie Southwick
Boston Globe
August 19, 2010
With Vampires Suck, the film is just as guilty as the vampires.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Top Critic
Adam Markovitz
Entertainment Weekly
August 19, 2010
The Twilight Saga, with its operatic gloom and straight-faced fantasy, is undoubtedly ripe for a smart, good-natured ribbing. This isn't it.
Full Review | Original Score: C-
Top Critic
Jen Chaney
Washington Post
August 18, 2010
Perhaps the filmmakers deserve credit for their one show of restraint: No jokes in this movie have been made at the expense of Justin Bieber.
Full Review | Original Score: 0.5/4
Top Critic
Bruce Demara
Toronto Star
August 18, 2010
Parodies can be hilarious. This one sucks.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Top Critic
Jeannette Catsoulis
New York Times
August 18, 2010
Aside from the difficulty of spoofing a saga that has always been winkingly aware of its own angsty excesses, there is the inadvisability of angering a tweeniverse whose emotional investment in the originals borders on pathological.
Top Critic
Frank Scheck
Hollywood Reporter
August 18, 2010
There's a joke or broad sight gag every 15 seconds or so, but the ratio of hits to misses is nearly nonexistent.
Top Critic
Nathan Rabin
AV Club
August 18, 2010
Vampires Suck finds Friedberg-Seltzer evolving ever so slightly, but adequacy remains out of their grasp, and mediocrity might just be an impossible goal.
Full Review | Original Score: D
Top Critic
Peter Hartlaub
San Francisco Chronicle
August 18, 2010
The running time is a merciful 80 minutes. That's the one reliably great thing about reviewing bad movies: Almost all of the biggest losers are less than an hour and a half long.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Top Critic
Randy Cordova
Arizona Republic
August 18, 2010
Two very important things to note about Vampires Suck: The film is a spoof of the Twilight movies, and the title is a good indication of where the level of wit lies.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5
Top Critic
Roger Moore
Orlando Sentinel
August 18, 2010
It's the sort of movie where "finger food" is offered at a party. And it's fingers. Haw.
Full Review | Original Score: 1/4
Top Critic
Joe Leydon
Variety
August 18, 2010
This instantly forgettable trifle is fairly close to worthless.