Shauna: Do you dare me to take all my clothes off and run through this cemetery naked?
Brian: I'm not going to dare you, but I might beg you...


Shauna: You're not going to ask to draw me naked, are you?
Brian: No, I always wear clothes when I draw...


Patrick: Hey Brian, what's a Irish seven-course meal?
Brian: Six pack and a potato.
Patrick: What, that's not funny?
Brian: I heard it.
Patrick: Gets a laugh down at Clancy's every time.


Brian: Where's Pop?
Margaret: Where do you think he is?
Brian: I don't know, maybe a parenting seminar?


Jerry: We are White Irish Drinkers! We don't do pills, we don't do weed, we don't do needles, we drink...that is what we do!


Brian: Danny, I don't want to steal anything anymore. Let's face it. I'm not exactly a criminal mastermind.
Danny: I'll teach you. That's what brothers are for.
Brian: Not really. But I appreciate the thought.