Mary Poppins Returns
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A clever premise that never reaches it's full potential. The gag is stretched too much, and is never as funny as it could be.
After the first two Guinea Pig movies, which could never really be described as 'fun', it comes as something of a surprise to find that the third in the series, He Never Dies, is actually quite lighthearted in comparison. It's still very gory, with some highly convincing and gruesome effects, but a juvenile sense of humour stops this one from being as grim as its predecessors.
Part three is introduced by a serious looking American guy who tells us that what we are about to see is a true story. Call me suspicious, but I don't think he's telling the truth...
An office worker who hates his job, and who has just lost his girlfriend, decides to end his life. However, after slicing open his wrist, he realises that killing himself will be a lot harder than he at first thought: he never dies! Having hacked at his wrists, sliced at his neck, and unsuccessfully tried to strangle himself, the obviously immortal fellow gives up trying to top himself. Instead, he decides to freak out his friend (who is currently banging his ex) by calling him up, inviting him round and then mutilating and dismembering himself in front of the terrified sap (he even guts himself and flings his entrails at the poor bloke).
By the time he has finished, he has reduced himself to nothing more than a talking severed head on a table.
I have noticed that several people have compared this film to the early works of Peter Jackson, but even though there are the common denominators of comedy and outrageous gore, I don't think He Never Dies is either as funny or as wholly entertaining as the gore classics from the Kiwi wunderkind.
It is, however, a very peculiar film, and worth seeing, I guess, if you're a fan of silly splatter or truly bizarre cinema. And it's only 39 minutes long!
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