If that sounds like the makings of a great film to you, then Zandalee may just be your cup of tea. Erika Anderson, who went on to star in.. um.. an episode of "The Red Shoe Diaries", is naked in almost every other scene. And Johnny (Cage), looking like an evil magician or Snidely Whiplash, is almost constantly spouting lines like, "I wanna shake you naked and eat you alive."
The movie is about a man named Thierry (Judge Reinhold) who is living in New Orleans with his wife Zandalee. When Thierry's artist friend Johnny shows up, it gets Zandalee all hot and bothered, while Thierry is blissfully unaware of the affair that his wife and friend are having in the laundry room while he and his mother are eating dinner.
I guess Zandalee likes Johnny because he's an artist, since she liked her husband for being a poet. Neither of the men are very good at their art, or any art for that matter: there is a dance scene late in the film that could have used some more practice. The times when Thierry is reciting his poems are laughable, considering just how terrible the poetry is.
Actually, none of the characters really know what they want or what they're doing. Zandalee is scared of Johnny because of his wild, animalistic and somewhat abusive ways... but on the other hand, she really likes having sex with him. And who could resist a guy who spouts such philosophical musings as, "Why is it that the Baptists have all the women and no booze and the Catholics have all the booze and no women?" That is so true!
On the other hand, Zandy can't bring herself to leave her effeminate husband because, well, he's her husband and they had something once (bad poetry). But she doesn't really like him, either, because he often seems more interested in helping lizards get out the window than in ravaging her oft-naked body. If I had a nickel for every time she climbed into bed nude and angry, I could probably buy a can of Coca-Cola.
This probably would have made for a perfectly boring but acceptable film if it weren't for the ATROCIOUS acting by all parties involved. Nicolas Cage's over-acting just comes across as ridiculous here, and I'm not sure that Judge Reinhold had any motivation for being in this film other than lying next to a naked woman occasionally. If we are awarding medals for worst acting, though, it is certainly Anderson herself who takes the gold. I'm thinking that she was cast more on her willingness to remove her clothing than for her acting ability, as not one of her scenes works on any dramatic level at all.
Oh, and then there's a cameo by Steve Buscemi, adding more faux-philosophy that I guess is supposed to be important to the film somehow, but doesn't really add up to anything more than wasted time.
Zandalee is pretty bad. The acting is what really sunk this ship, but the script is pretty horrendous, and a bayou scene near the end is remarkably cheesy and pathetic. The movie may work still, barely, as unintentional comedy or as the softest of soft-core erotica... but I'm not even sure about that.
Let's just leave it at "Zandalee is pretty bad" and call it a night. Whaddaya say?
P.S. Actually, I am returning in order to delete a half-star from my rating because I just remembered that, SPOILER, Zandalee gets riddled with bullets in a completely out-of-left-field drive-by shooting at the end. Yes. Yes, indeed.
none the less, Nick was good enough... Erika Anderson is always nude...
NO FURTHER COMMENTS
Johnny: Yes, you can. Roll over on your stomach.