Zoolander - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Zoolander Quotes

  • Jacobim Mugatu: Destroy the Prime Minister of Malaysia!


  • Mugatu: I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it!


  • Hansel: Why don't you Derelick... my balls?
    Derek Zoolander: I can Derelick my own balls, thank you
    Derek Zoolander: I can Derelick my own balls, thank you.


  • Mugatu: There the same damn look!
    Jacobim Mugatu: They're the same damn look!


  • Derek Zoolander: Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features doesn't mean that we still can't not die in a freak gasolinefight accident.


  • Derek Zoolander: Merman.......... MERMAN!
    Derek Zoolander: Merman... MERMAN!


  • Matilda: I'm bulimic.
    Derek Zoolander: ... You mean you can read minds?


  • Derek Zoolander: Eugoogiligist: A person who delivers eugoogiligies.


  • Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness.


  • Hansel: One of my heroes I guess would be Sting. I mean, I don't listen to any of his music, but I really respect that he's making it.


  • Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants?


  • Derek Zoolander: im just wearing my new look cold coffee
    Derek Zoolander: I'm just wearing my new look -- Cold Coffee.


  • Derek Zoolander: there was a moment last night when she was sandwiched bwtween the two finnish dwarfs and the maori tribesmen where i thought where i thought wow i could really spend the rest of my life with this woman
    Derek Zoolander: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, 'Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman'.


  • Derek Zoolander: merman, MERMAN!
    Derek Zoolander: Merman, MERMAN!


  • Derek Zoolander: I can Derelik my own balls, thank you very much!


  • Derek Zoolander: And I'm not your BRA.


  • Derek Zoolander: What IS this? A SCHOOL FOR ANTS?!
    Derek Zoolander: What is this! A school for ants?


  • Derek Zoolander: I think I've got the black lung, pop.
    Larry Zoolander: For god's sake Derek, you were down there one day!


  • Mugatu: Hansel's so hot right now, Hansel.


  • Hansel: Who you tryin to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know i'm loco!?
    Hansel: Who you tryin to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco!?


  • Mugatu: Obey My Dog!
    Mugatu: Obey my dog!


  • Hansel: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.


  • Hansel: Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?


  • Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.


  • Larry Zoolander: You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother.


  • Derek Zoolander: You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite....you aren't.
    Derek Zoolander: You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite, you aren't.


  • Mugatu: It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!


  • Derek Zoolander: Put a cork in it, Zane!


  • Hansel: You is talking loco and I like it!


  • Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahhh ahhh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
    Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahhh ahhh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize 'Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?'
    Derek Zoolander: And?
    Hansel: And it was. I'm totally fine! I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius
    Hansel: And it was. I'm totally fine! I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.


  • Derek Zoolander: What is this? .... A center for ants?! It has to be at least.... three times bigger than this
    Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? The building has to be at least three times bigger than this!


  • Larry Zoolander: Damnit Derek, I'm a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.


  • Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.


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