Tooele Transcript-Bulletin (Utah)
God's Army (2000)
The Black Stallion (1979)
A Walk in the Clouds (1995)
"Pure yucky mush. And Keanu can't act."
Brigham City (2001)
"...takes some inappropriate religious liberties, but still manages to be downright creepy and suspenseful."
Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Stealing Home (1988)
"Aliens are simply the flashy Hollywood vehicle through which Shyamalan channels a more redeeming message."
"Do we really need a 77-minute film to tell us exactly why a romantic relationship between a 15-year-old boy and a 40-year-old woman doesn't work?"
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
"Resurrection has the dubious distinction of being a really bad imitation of the really bad Blair Witch Project."
Ultimate X: The Movie (2002)
"It's a dizzyingly entertaining thrill-ride, complete with a pleasantly surprising amount of humor and self-parody."
Eight Legged Freaks (2002)
"It's PG-13 rating forced directors to soft-peddle the carnage that giant spiders are capable of, and in the end it leaves you feeling less than satisfied."
What About Bob? (1991)
"One of the most snicker-worthy movies ever made. Great, great fun for the demented."
Anne of Green Gables (1985)
"A childhood classic that any adult can thoroughly appreciate. Inspiring, hopeful, funny, and utterly charming. Possibly the best miniseries ever produced for television."
The Outsiders (1983)
"A disturbing and profound commentary on an age of supposed innocence and it's lack thereof."
Beverly Hills Ninja (1997)
"I think I might have laughed once. Or twice."
"Let me just put it this way: if you've ever had a baby, spent time with a baby, or been within 20 yards of a baby, you know why this is funny."
A Chorus Line (1985)
"Something about this high-kickin,' ways-of-the-world broadway musical just doesn't translate well to the screen. And unless you're a Broadway actor or a wannabe Broadway actor, don't expect to enjoy it...or even understand it."
The Fugitive (1993)
"Frenetically-paced, nail biting action. Rarely do an anti-hero (Tommy Lee Jones) and a hero (Ford) blend with such tense and charismatic perfection."
Back to the Future (1985)
"Few movies have reached this level of light comic perfection. It's the perfect blend of the novelty of the 1950's and the comic angst of adolescence."
Sarah, Plain and Tall (1991)
"Positively delightful family tale in the tradition of "Anne of Green Gables." Great, uplifting fun for everyone. ."
"Hard to imagine Tom Hanks being anything less than Oscar Caliber, isn't it? But his performance as a young boy trapped in a man's body is endearingly funny."
Ernest Goes to Camp (1987)
"Just exactly like every other Ernest movie you've ever seen. And yet, Varney's innocent playfulness is somehow oddly appealing."
"A truly compelling portrait of a washed-up child star; even more compelling is the story of the peripheral people who suffer because of the misery of a washed-up child star."
"Elicits a brand of fright that can only be experienced in childhood nightmares. It's the ultimate adult rendition of a child's worst fears."
"Its title implies that it's something you might watch for its campy comic value. But it's flat-out nightmarish."
Weekend at Bernie's (1989)
"Bizarre and campy. And what's funnier than sight gags involving dead bodies waterskiing?"
Free Willy (1993)
"Inspiring environmental tale for the kiddie-set."
A Shot in the Dark (1964)
"Classic Sellers. Hilarious from beginning to end; but only if you watch it drunk or at 3 AM"
Wish Upon a Star (1996)
"Harmless enough, but so condescendingly saccharine, you might gag on it."
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
"Hopefully, this is the death-knell for Austin Powers, who went just a little too far this time."
Stuart Little 2 (2002)
"It's bright, pristine style and bold colors make it as much fun as reading an oversized picture book before bedtime."
Road to Perdition (2002)
"...an abysmally profound achievement in gangster filmmaking."
Men in Black II (2002)
Lilo & Stitch (2002)
"Manages to tell an almost unbearably heartbreaking story with sweetly optimistic fervor."
Minority Report (2002)
"...starts as a desperate, suspenseful chase through a technologically spasmodic city, but seamlessly evolves into a chilling commentary on the ethics of life, death and the dangerous game of playing God. "
The Bourne Identity (2002)
"Some say this movie lacks character development...but I'd like to know exactly how you develop a character who doesn't know who he is."
"Pitches itself as a female-empowering film, then reduces the gender to southern belle brawls and smashed alcohol bottles as a way to deal with problems."
"Credit is to be given to Shakespeare for creating a plot so heavy that it gives weight even to a labored teen drama."
The Sum of All Fears (2002)
Jason X (2002)
Big Trouble (2002)
Hollywood Ending (2002)
"Hollywood Ending is not show-stoppingly hilarious, but scathingly witty nonetheless."
The Scorpion King (2002)
"Wait, was there a point to this movie? If there was, I already forgot."
The Rookie (2002)
"For anyone who's ever dreamed of anything bigger than a mortgage and a dog, it's a sweet and inspiring story."
Human Nature (2002)
"What Kaufman has here is a brilliant, funny, painfully human, and delightfully creative social statement."
"Showtime is one of the hapless victims of the arrogant "if we put together a wry white man and a chatty black man and give them guns, the movie will be funny" syndrome."
Ocean's Eleven (2001)
"It doesn't take itself too seriously like some of its brooding, maudlin peers."
Shallow Hal (2001)
"The film comes off uncannily like the book; the scenes are exactly as you would imagine them. This, however, probably says more about the writing abilities of Rowling as an author than Columbus as a director."