Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
"The cast is able to literally outrun the destructive power of the cold, but they can't survive the killing wave of contrivances and disaster cliches."
Shrek 2 (2004)
"Once or twice a decade, a moment comes along that's so through-the-roof, rupture-your-hernia funny that it reaffirms my faith in comedy. 'Shrek 2' has several of those. "
The Handmaid's Tale (1990)
The Harder They Come (1973)
Rain Man (1988)
"Maybe they found the text by Homer of Simpson rather than Homer of Asia Minor. Mmm … breastplates."
The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)
"Eastwood's brooding, bloody masterpiece."
The Fly II (1989)
Van Helsing (2004)
"Like every other filmmaker obsessed by the possibilities of CGI, Stephen Sommers forgets the golden rule: Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
Mean Girls (2004)
"Not as consistently funny as 'Heathers' or corrosive as 'Election,' but usually hilarious and occasionally chilling in its observations of 'Girl World.'"
"To use the obvious metaphor and equate 'Envy' to what Jack Black's miracle product is designed to clean up would be an insult to the canine digestive system."
Kill Bill: Volume 2 (2004)
"It exhilarates even as it maddens."
Man on Fire (2004)
"With every caption dancing across the screen to overstate the obvious, it plays like a feature-length PSA for thetruth.com - only this time, the drug is kidnapping."
The Punisher (2004)
"Whoever first had the big idea of revisiting this material should be hung up by his Buster Browns and forced to watch the result -- then he'll know what 'punishment' means."
The Alamo (2004)
"Hancock keeps what could have been a leaden behemoth accessible and engaging by drawing a bead on the personalities of the men who've loomed over history books, warts and all."
Johnson Family Vacation (2004)
"Before the opening credits had ended, I was counting down the minutes until I could get back to scraping old tile adhesive off my kitchen floor."
Girl With a Pearl Earring (2004)
"... the true star of this film is Eduardo Serra, who should have had the Oscar. Sweeping fantasy vistas are easy; creating a sensual feast through the camera's lens is hard."
Walking Tall (2004)
"Why keep the 'Walking Tall' brand name at all? The juke-joint mama doesn't even take a bullet beneath her beehive this time around. "
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
"A remake as soulless as the hordes of undead that attack with maddening persistence."
The Ladykillers (2004)
"... a mean, nasty, mostly laughless 104 minutes spent in dogged pursuit of an ironic cause that's as subtle as a falling gargoyle's head."
"I cried 'Please, Lord, make it stop' at about the 90-minute mark -- long after I was numbed into a vegetative state by reheated spy cliches and sub-sophomoric bathroom jokes."
Starsky & Hutch (2004)
"Something we seldom expect (or get) in the creatively bankrupt trend of adapting moldy old TV shows for the big screen: funny."
The Last Broadcast (1998)
"With Ashley Judd above the title, no cookie-cutter contrivance is unaccounted for, no performance betraying the hint of any effort beyond showing up on the set. "
Money Train (1995)
A Man Called Horse (1970)
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
"Emerging from the Job-like endurance test of this film's unrelenting horror, it's impossible not to be moved by its visceral impact ..."
Welcome to Mooseport (2004)
"... limp and dreadfully dull."
"... Nothing if not fluffy -- but oddly, egregiously offensive in ways far more insidious and damaging than merely wasting our time."
50 First Dates (2004)
"As Barrymore reminds us: Nothing beats a first kiss. Who would have thought an Adam Sandler vehicle in February would be the first romantic comedy in years to mean it?"
"Yet another sleeper hit becomes a cynical franchise. I guess 'Nappy-Cutz' wins after all."
"Theron doesn't 'play' Wuornos as much as inhabit her - with pity, volcanic anger, confusion, occasional euphoria and mostly, impenetrable sadness."
The Big Bounce (2004)
"Mountain Dew is not a suggestion for your choice of movie-time beverage. It's a mandate."
The Times of Harvey Milk (1984)
"Melodramatically one-sided, but compelling -- and indelible just the same. El Presidente could benefit from a look."
The Silence of the Hams (1994)
Bringing Up Baby (1938)
"The gold standard of screwball comedy."
A Zed and Two Noughts (1990)
"Fatally pretentious crap. (But it's fun to say if you're a Renaissance Faire warrior whose costume never comes off.)"
The Butterfly Effect (2004)
"...if this film were independently produced and released only on the art-house circuit critics would be knifing each other for a chance to praise its 'haunting power.'"
"... The ninth circle of gearhead Hell."
Along Came Polly (2004)
"Not a SCANDALOUS waste of cinematic resources -- just another limp, uninspired romantic comedy that wastes the talents of its stellar cast."
Big Fish (2003)
"Tim Burton constructs an eye-popping, kaleidoscopic landscape of sound, fury and fantasy -- and remembers to make a movie to go with it."
My Baby's Daddy (2004)
"In all its harrowing witlessness, it ironically proves the healing power of laughter."
The Quiet Man (1952)
"... the latest corpse in a long string of casualties left by Ben Affleck's 'star power' and credibility void as a man of action."
Cold Mountain (2003)
"... a good epic that tries too hard to be great."
The End of Innocence (1990)
"Scream, scream and scream again ..."
Blazing Saddles (1974)
"'The Lord of the Rings" saga ends as it began -- with elegant simplicity and heart."
Something's Gotta Give (2003)
"Jack gets away with playing Jack ... because who else does it better? But it's Keaton who keeps their chemistry firing on all cylinders."