Freeze Dried Movies

Freeze Dried Movies is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Brad Miska, Brian Juergens
Rating Title/Year Author
7/10 Postal (2007) It validates using a video game as the source material for a feature film. EDIT
Posted May 22, 2008
6/10 300 (2006) Brian Juergens Like a Hong Kong 'pistol opera' only without any pistols, or shirts. I guess it's more of a 'nipple opera'. EDIT
Posted Mar 9, 2007
7/10 Breach (2007) Brian Juergens A compelling character study of a man whose ego took down his career, and very nearly much more. EDIT
Posted Feb 21, 2007
6/10 Music and Lyrics (2007) Brian Juergens The cinematic equivalent of a drugstore-bought Whitman's Sampler: it's overly sweet, of questionable quality, and you appreciate it more in theory than in practice EDIT
Posted Feb 14, 2007
2/10 Because I Said So (2007) Brian Juergens It's a perfect title for a film so utterly lacking in worthwhile qualities that there is no logical reason to actually see it. EDIT
Posted Feb 1, 2007
8/10 Children of Men (2006) Brian Juergens Cuaron has once again proven that he is a filmmaker to be reckoned with in both technical prowess and keen, quiet observance EDIT
Posted Dec 27, 2006
4/10 The Good German (2006) Brian Juergens It's experimental, so conduct an experiment of your own: go see the film, and when you wake up at the end, try to remember if you dreamed in black-and-white or in color. EDIT
Posted Dec 19, 2006
3/10 Blood Diamond (2006) Brian Juergens Zwick wants to have his cake and eat it, too -- and the result is an uneven, overlong bore. Call it Ramifying the Stone. EDIT
Posted Dec 8, 2006
8/10 The Fountain (2006) Brian Juergens Most people will probably find it pretentious, or too vague, or boring, or even silly. But give it a chance. EDIT
Posted Nov 24, 2006
6/10 Happy Feet (2006) Brian Juergens More like Environmentally Responsible, Emotionally Resonant, and Sorta Bleak Feet. EDIT
Posted Nov 16, 2006
8/10 Bobby (2006) Brian Juergens Esteves's curious multi-strand film carries us to a quietly devastating conclusion. EDIT
Posted Nov 15, 2006
8/10 Shortbus (2006) Brian Juergens A fun ride with a satisfying finish. Appropriately enough. EDIT
Posted Oct 12, 2006
7/10 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) Brian Juergens A better-than-average horror release in terms of blood and general intensity, but still a pale shadow of its blasting-out-of-the-gate predecessor. EDIT
Posted Oct 12, 2006
2/10 Man of the Year (2006) Brian Juergens Levinson has gone from Wag the Dog to "Screw the Pooch". EDIT
Posted Oct 12, 2006
9/10 The Departed (2006) Brian Juergens The balance of brutal violence, wildly inappropriate humor, and easy, low-boil romance is nothing short of masterful... a hell of a good time. EDIT
Posted Oct 5, 2006
6/10 Flyboys (2006) Brian Juergens Sometimes you just want to see pretty people in period costumes flying around in old-timey planes, swooning with impossible young love and screaming at the sky in rage. EDIT
Posted Sep 22, 2006
4/10 The Black Dahlia (2006) Brian Juergens This muddled late-career meditation on Hollywood artifice and ambition only captures brief flashes of the director's former glory. The rest just feels like a bad joke. EDIT
Posted Sep 14, 2006
8/10 This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006) Brian Juergens A fascinating bit of cinematic espionage... and for the most part, a total riot. EDIT
Posted Aug 31, 2006
6/10 Beerfest (2006) Brian Juergens Would easily qualify as the most aggressively stupid movie of the year had it not been trumped by a movie about NASCAR. EDIT
Posted Aug 24, 2006
5/10 The Illusionist (2006) Brian Juergens The various sleights of hand performed by characters and filmmakers alike come off less as acts of magic and more as the clumsy parlor tricks of results-based filmmaking. EDIT
Posted Aug 17, 2006
6/10 Accepted (2006) Brian Juergens While Accepted isn't great, its genuine admiration for the scratch-and-dents of society lends it a certain unexpected sweetness. EDIT
Posted Aug 17, 2006
9/10 Little Miss Sunshine (2006) Brian Juergens The repeated sight of the family jumping out to push-start their dilapidated van is wonderfully simple: these people will keep pushing forward, together, no matter what. EDIT
Posted Aug 11, 2006
8/10 Half Nelson (2006) Brian Juergens As an achingly wise young student caught between the intentions of those who mean to help and those who mean to exploit her, newcomer Shareeka Epps is simply stunning. EDIT
Posted Aug 10, 2006
5/10 World Trade Center (2006) Brian Juergens This account of the horrors of 9/11 feels counterfeit, compromised, and flat -- sadly, it is an ill-conceived and generally unaffecting tribute. EDIT
Posted Aug 9, 2006
5/10 Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) Brian Juergens One of those movies that features end-credit outtakes that are much funnier than the film that preceded them, this endearing but messy assortment of gags just doesn't merit a full-price ticket. EDIT
Posted Aug 4, 2006
7/10 The Night Listener (2006) Brian Juergens Presents one of the most fascinating characters of the year... a cool, calculated remedy to the late-summer doldrums. EDIT
Posted Aug 2, 2006
9/10 The Descent (2005) Brian Juergens A harrowing, brutal piece of work -- my hand was over my mouth for the last 30 minutes, lest I scream like a little girl on fire. Not to be missed. EDIT
Posted Jul 28, 2006
8/10 13 Tzameti (2005) Brian Juergens While Hostel reeked of xenophobia, 13 notes that often the boogeymen are in our own backyards, and that most are within a few paychecks of falling prey to them. EDIT
Posted Jul 27, 2006
1/10 You, Me and Dupree (2006) Brian Juergens Unless you don't have air conditioning, live above a Chinese restaurant, and are suffering from a 107-degree fever, I can't think of a single reason to sit through this mess. EDIT
Posted Jul 13, 2006
6/10 Strangers With Candy (2005) Brian Juergens I've got something to say!!! While the occasionally hilarious big-screen Candy should amuse hardcore fans, it may leave casual audiences confused or disappointed. EDIT
Posted Jun 29, 2006
6/10 Superman Returns (2006) Brian Juergens A beautifully-shot, impressively scored, and competently-acted romance about a dorky alien who saves the world as an afterthought. EDIT
Posted Jun 27, 2006
6/10 Wordplay (2006) Brian Juergens While the handling of the matter may seem slight, this is crossword puzzles we're talking about here, not rocket science - you enjoy them, throw them away, and move on. EDIT
Posted Jun 19, 2006
7/10 A Prairie Home Companion (2006) Brian Juergens A meandering, breezy yarn, Robert Altman's unabashedly cornball adaptation accomplished something that few films have been able to pull off: it actually made me homesick. EDIT
Posted Jun 8, 2006
5/10 The Break-Up (2006) Brian Juergens You have no desire to see them either get back together or murder one another - you just want them to leave each other alone. And that's not exactly compelling cinema. EDIT
Posted Jun 1, 2006
8/10 X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) Brian Juergens There's more drama, backstabbing, temper tantrums and shocks in The Last Stand than in a season of "Dynasty". So far, it's the best event movie of the year. EDIT
Posted May 24, 2006
4/10 Poseidon (2006) Brian Juergens A one-way, all-inclusive ticket to the port of Achingly Earnest on the sunny shores of Dullsville. EDIT
Posted May 11, 2006
8/10 The Proposition (2005) Brian Juergens An uncompromising vision of the hell that was Australia's early frontier, The Proposition is a mesmerizing piece of poetry disguised as a brutal, fly-encrusted western. EDIT
Posted May 4, 2006
6/10 Mission: Impossible III (2006) Brian Juergens Gives the uncomfortable feeling of stumbling upon someone flexing in front of the mirror while listening to 'Eye of the Tiger' on full volume, but we get our money's worth. EDIT
Posted May 4, 2006
6/10 RV (2006) Brian Juergens Has just enough worldly jadedness to counteract the Seventh Heaven brand of schmaltz that seems to pervade PG films like so much smelly backwater. EDIT
Posted Apr 27, 2006
9/10 United 93 (2006) Brian Juergens Many people feel United 93 is "too soon", and I certainly won't argue with anyone's need for time to heal. But when it isn't too soon, this film demands to be seen. EDIT
Posted Apr 27, 2006
7/10 American Dreamz (2006) Brian Juergens A comedy satire as proudly silly as its awful title. EDIT
Posted Apr 20, 2006
8/10 Slither (2006) Brian Juergens A hilarious, profane, and wonderfully gooey creature feature, Slither emerges from its slimy eggsac one of the most flat-out entertaining horror movies in years. EDIT
Posted Mar 30, 2006
7/10 Inside Man (2006) Brian Juergens Lee's direction and masterful handling of an intricate plot are impressive on their own, but what's most refreshing about Man is its sense of humor. EDIT
Posted Mar 24, 2006
9/10 V for Vendetta (2006) Brian Juergens Unlike political thrillers that are content to wallow in their dissatisfaction with the state of the world, V demands that we take personal responsibility for it... EDIT
Posted Mar 15, 2006
6/10 Winter Passing (2005) Brian Juergens A little movie that straddles the fence of mediocrity from start to finish, Winter Passing is worth seeing mainly for one reason: Zooey Deschanel. EDIT
Posted Feb 17, 2006
4/5 The Beyond (1981) Brian Juergens Quote not available. EDIT
Posted Feb 9, 2006
7/10 Night Watch (2004) Brian Juergens Consistently unique and inventive stuff - a far cry from the clichéd monsterfests that have plagued us for the past few years (yes, Van Helsing, I'm talking to you). EDIT
Posted Feb 9, 2006
7/10 Curious George (2006) Brian Juergens It's cute, it bucks the trend of high-teching our classics, and it's got moments of visual cleverness and simple, childlike wonder. EDIT
Posted Feb 7, 2006
6/10 Something New (2006) Brian Juergens Something New might very well be the first "Super-Duper Magical Caucasian" movie... a romantic drama/comedy that's more interesting in theory than in execution. EDIT
Posted Feb 1, 2006
4/10 The Producers (2005) Brian Juergens Ladies and gentlemen, for your enjoyment we present... Diminishing Returns: The Musical! EDIT
Posted Jan 5, 2006