CampBlood.org

CampBlood.org is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Brian Juergens
Rating Title/Year Author
8/10 Evil Dead (2013) Brian Juergens The most fun I've had all year trying not to vomit. EDIT
Posted Apr 2, 2013
7/10 Mama (2013) Brian Juergens At long last, Vicki Lawrence is robbed of her title of Most Terrifying Mama - though it stumbles in its final scenes, this slow-burn creepfest offers a few fresh scares. EDIT
Posted Jan 17, 2013
8/10 My Week With Marilyn (2011) Brian Juergens Williams' captivating performance generates the unearthly glow of something too beautiful and too fragile to grasp. It also may have knocked a few points off my Kinsey rating. EDIT
Posted Nov 18, 2011
1/10 The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011) Brian Juergens Cheap, repetitive, and dull. It's like being forced to watch the same Three Stooges gag over and over until someone finally farts in your face and lets you go home. EDIT
Posted Oct 7, 2011
8/10 Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2010) Brian Juergens While its subversion of the well-worn "hillbilly horror" genre may be a one-note gag, that note is played pretty durn well. A clever, bloody, and unexpectedly sweet romp. EDIT
Posted Sep 29, 2011
8/10 Burn, Witch, Burn! (1962) Brian Juergens An odd, stylish, and completely absorbing witchcraft-in-the-suburbs oddity that puts hexes into the hands of academics and university wives. EDIT
Posted Sep 9, 2011
4/10 Shark Night (2011) Brian Juergens How delicious would it be if we were to look back and find that the current lousy 3D trend "jumped the shark" with a film that actually features jumping sharks? EDIT
Posted Sep 6, 2011
5/10 Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010) Brian Juergens If you aren't generally scared by CGI goblins who whisper a lot, the title's warning is sadly unneeded - you won't be afraid of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. EDIT
Posted Aug 25, 2011
6/10 Final Destination 5 (2011) Brian Juergens Thanks to solid suspense and a clever resolution, FD5 is more fun than watching household objects conspire to brutally murder disaaster survivors (in 3D!) has any right to be. EDIT
Posted Aug 11, 2011
9/10 Attack the Block (2011) Brian Juergens That the film treats marginalized youths with real respect while delivering such a raucous and inventive spin on horror comedy is the most welcome kind of cinematic miracle. EDIT
Posted Jul 28, 2011
8/10 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) Brian Juergens That both the beloved characters and the film series itself manage to emerge victorious from the fray after over 10 years is truly something to celebrate. EDIT
Posted Jul 14, 2011
7/10 Horrible Bosses (2011) Brian Juergens It may be 9 to 5 stripped of its feminist bite and much of its dark potential, but it's still a fun ride through the sketchier neighborhoods of the working man's mind. EDIT
Posted Jul 7, 2011
8/10 Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974) Brian Juergens Scenic settings, guts, and a residual contact high from the counterculture movement converge in one of the zombie genre's most unique and enjoyable entries. EDIT
Posted Jun 22, 2011
5/10 Green Lantern (2011) Brian Juergens Reynolds is a charismatic lead, but the filmmakers miss the mark by making all the outer space stuff seem cartoony and the story on Earth cornball and dull. EDIT
Posted Jun 16, 2011
7/10 Super 8 (2011) Brian Juergens If you grew up a horror nut in the Midwest, Super 8 might feel like a missing page from your childhood. And if not, well ... that train crash is still pretty mint. EDIT
Posted Jun 13, 2011
8/10 Bridesmaids (2011) Brian Juergens A bawdy, riotous godsend for folks who wanted to like The Hangover but just couldn't bring themselves to root for such an annoying box of a**holes. EDIT
Posted May 13, 2011
8/10 Thor (2011) Brian Juergens The effects are great, the tone is surprisingly playful, and Hemsworth pours on the charm as the most clueless hulking blonde since Dog the Bounty Hunter. EDIT
Posted May 11, 2011
6/10 The Devil Within Her (1975) Brian Juergens Stock your bar and put in your IUD, because this hilariously over-the-top Rosemary's Baby knockoff wants to get you pregnant with its ridiculous brilliance. EDIT
Posted Apr 29, 2011
7/10 Scream 4 (2011) Brian Juergens Bright, bloody and enjoyable, and completely worth seeing when you stand back and look at what the filmmakers have done to subvert a beloved but played-out genre. EDIT
Posted Apr 20, 2011
3/10 Your Highness (2011) Brian Juergens After the first 15 laughless minutes, I heard my hopes tinkle to the ground like the lifeless shells of so many fairies struck dead from lack of applause. EDIT
Posted Apr 7, 2011
7/10 Insidious (2010) Brian Juergens If Polgergeist is the Disneyland Mansion of spookhouse movies, Insidious is a small-town Haunted Hayride, filled with low-fi jumps and punctuated with giggles. EDIT
Posted Mar 29, 2011
5/10 Sucker Punch (2011) Brian Juergens Its awkwardly embedded message of female empowerment fails to overcome the fact that it is ultimately a big, dumb, loud genre mashup coming soon to a "man cave" near you. EDIT
Posted Mar 24, 2011
5/10 Black Death (2010) Brian Juergens Sean Bean completists and fans of neck-beards will no doubt enjoy, but overall Black Death an atmospheric but ultimately unaffecting exercise in medieval misery. EDIT
Posted Mar 18, 2011
6/10 Red Riding Hood (2011) Brian Juergens While it may be little more than a Disney princess movie with a body count, I'd take this goofy period whodunit over brooding vampires and modern teen angst any day. EDIT
Posted Mar 11, 2011
8/10 I Saw the Devil (2010) Brian Juergens With this operatically gory serial killer epic, Ji-Woon Kim may prove once and for all that revenge is a dish best served with a side of kimchi. EDIT
Posted Mar 4, 2011
7/10 All About Evil (2010) Brian Juergens This scrappy, campy horror comedy shows a clear affection for the cinematic tradition that fortunately doesn't supersede a clear desire to play with its entrails. EDIT
Posted Feb 25, 2011
7/10 We Are What We Are (2010) Brian Juergens With its sly message of self-empowerment in the face of overwhelming odds, this is pretty much the Mexico City Pride float of Mexican gay cannibal movies. EDIT
Posted Feb 17, 2011
5/10 Kaboom (2010) Brian Juergens Is it wrong to wish that Araki had taken the care to bring his audience to at least one of the multiple climaxes enjoyed by his characters? EDIT
Posted Feb 7, 2011
2/10 Sanctum (2011) Brian Juergens As exciting as a rainy fishing trip with your two uncles who have been bickering since adolescence and manage to ruin everyone's Christmas every single year. EDIT
Posted Feb 4, 2011
5/10 The Rite (2011) Brian Juergens What starts out as a promisingly deadpan supernatural drama quickly devolves into The Exorcism of Charlie Rose EDIT
Posted Jan 28, 2011
6/10 Le Foto di Gioia (Delirium: Photo of Gioia) (Photos of Joy) (1987) Brian Juergens A typical giallo exercise in lurid misogyny, it does also affer hallucinations, incest, photo sessions, and more peach paint and lucite furniture than you can shake Miami at. EDIT
Posted Jan 26, 2011
5/10 Night of the Demons (2009) Brian Juergens A handful of recognizable faces, fair amount of ghoulishness, and peppy can-do attitude can't match the cheese-fueled charm of the faulted-but-fun original. EDIT
Posted Jan 6, 2011
7/10 Blue Valentine (2010) Brian Juergens The brown-bag movie of the year: Sneak in a bottle of something bitter and cheap (to match the central characters) and get smashed along with the onscreen relationship. EDIT
Posted Dec 30, 2010
7/10 Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) Brian Juergens An enthusiastically deranged family adventure gussied up in a Christmas sweater, Rare Exports is a welcome addition to the Warped Holiday Movie canon. EDIT
Posted Dec 1, 2010
8/10 Black Swan (2010) Brian Juergens An intense study akin to the equally exhausting The Wrestler that seems determined to catch Nina (Portman, in a stunning performance) break character - or worse. EDIT
Posted Nov 30, 2010
6/10 Mirrors 2 (2010) Brian Juergens Can I say with a straight face that this is a good movie? No. But I will say that I found this direct-to-video sequel more creative and entertaining than the original. EDIT
Posted Nov 24, 2010
7/10 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) Brian Juergens Fans will enjoy the dark, brooding, gorgeous penultimate film of one of the most solid genre series ever. Casual observers will likely be confused as hell or bored silly. EDIT
Posted Nov 17, 2010
3/10 Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995) Brian Juergens Maybe "Farewell to the Franchise" would have been a more appropriate title - this retread of the very scary original is a mildly hilarious mess. EDIT
Posted Nov 3, 2010
3/10 Hereafter (2010) Brian Juergens A trio of thinly-drawn narratives that combine into one triply disappointing mega-"meh", it doesn't so much ask questions about the afterlife as threaten to. EDIT
Posted Oct 14, 2010
1/10 A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) Brian Juergens Like many horror fans, I approached viewing the recent remake of the post-slasher classic with extremely low expectations. Not low enough, though! EDIT
Posted Oct 13, 2010
8/10 Let Me In (2010) Brian Juergens Both suitably reverential to the excellent Swedish original and entirely successful as a work of authentic American horror. Smart, scary, and heartbreaking. EDIT
Posted Oct 1, 2010
2/10 Hatchet II (2010) Brian Juergens When it comes to homages to the golden age of American slashers, Hatchet II is twice the hatchet job of the original. EDIT
Posted Sep 30, 2010
7/10 Catfish (2010) Brian Juergens They've had success marketing horror movies as documentaries lately, so why not sell a documentary as a horror film? Well ... because it's not. EDIT
Posted Sep 17, 2010
9/10 Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) Brian Juergens A frenzied 8-bit orgy of video game action, fuzzed-out rock and roll, and candyshop color. I entered the theater a man and left it a sugarbombed teenage girl. With a beard. EDIT
Posted Aug 11, 2010
6/10 Inception (2010) Brian Juergens The good news is, I'm not going to give away any of the mind-bending twists at the center of Inception. The bad news is, that's because there aren't any. EDIT
Posted Jul 16, 2010
7/10 Splice (2009) Brian Juergens The core strength of this gooey, schizophrenic horror satire is its ability to be simultaneously quite clever and unrepentantly trashy. EDIT
Posted Jun 4, 2010
3/10 MacGruber (2010) Brian Juergens When your audience is laughing at soundtrack selections more often than they laugh at the dialogue or sight gags, you gotta know you messed up somewhere... EDIT
Posted May 21, 2010
6/10 The Human Centipede (2009) Brian Juergens Misanthropes, scat queens and fans of lowbrow humor will find plenty to enjoy in this gory kink oddity, though it never lives up to the ghoulishness of its central conceit. EDIT
Posted Apr 27, 2010
8/10 Best Worst Movie (2009) Brian Juergens I never thought I'd be able to justify having seen the insanely bad Troll 2, but this scrappy documentary about fame and failure provides a perfectly charming excuse. EDIT
Posted Apr 12, 2010
2/10 Clash of the Titans (2010) Brian Juergens The only way that this stupid, ugly mess of a movie could be considered 3-D would be if the third dimension were dirty hair. EDIT
Posted Apr 2, 2010