The Aristocrat

The Aristocrat is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Adam Ross
Rating Title/Year Author
4/5 Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) Adam Ross If blockbusters are the cinematic equivalent of junk food, then 2014 has been a goddamn ice-cream sundae, and Guardians is the bright, sickly sweet cherry sitting on top. EDIT
Posted Aug 16, 2014
1/5 Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) Adam Ross With all of the exploding Porsches and Lamborghinis that its $180 million dollar budget affords, Extinction feels like the cinematic equivalent of big game hunting (especially when it is set in a country where the minimum wage is $2 an hour). EDIT
Posted Jun 27, 2014
4/5 22 Jump Street (2014) Adam Ross Most stars are terrified of looking like fools but Tatum runs head-on into his dumb jock visage. EDIT
Posted Jun 20, 2014
4/5 Edge of Tomorrow (2014) Adam Ross we need more intelligent blockbusters that are based on original properties, and supporting films like Edge is the only way to get them. Or don't see it - but don't whine to me when you have to sit through Transformers 10. EDIT
Posted Jun 5, 2014
4/5 X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) Adam Ross ...funny, sharp, and breathlessly paced, and is one of the few films this year that are worth the exuberant price of a current 3D ticket. Bring on X-men: Apocalypse. EDIT
Posted May 27, 2014
4/5 Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) Adam Ross On a fundamental level, the Russos get the character of Captain America, and this deep understanding trickles down into the film in satisfying ways. EDIT
Posted Apr 12, 2014
4/5 Noah (2014) Adam Ross We now have the world's first $125 million stoner film. EDIT
Posted Apr 5, 2014
4/5 Nymphomaniac: Volume I (2014) Adam Ross If you are just horny? Skip the context and go to Mr Skin.com. But if you consider yourself a cineaste with an interest in cinema's reining enfant terrible, you must check out Nymphomaniac. EDIT
Posted Mar 27, 2014
5/5 12 Years a Slave (2013) Adam Ross There is a reason that Slave has topped the best of list of 25 major film critics and won the Golden Globe for Best Picture. Miss it at your own loss. EDIT
Posted Feb 11, 2014
5/5 The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Adam Ross Funny? Yes. Entertaining? Yes. Flattering? Not in the slightest. Anyone who wants to be in the Jordan Belfort business after watching Wolf must have rocks in their head. EDIT
Posted Jan 28, 2014
4/5 Her (2013) Adam Ross ...anyone who has found themselves intoxicated by another soul should find much to love in Her. EDIT
Posted Jan 22, 2014
3/5 Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014) Adam Ross While Shadow Recruit is undeniably formulaic - grizzled mentor! An agent in over his head! An international conspiracy! - it's formula is rock solid. EDIT
Posted Jan 18, 2014
3/5 Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013) Adam Ross I'm actually surprised that a major film studio (Paramount) would thumb their nose so openly at the competition (Fox). Good on them. They've got balls. EDIT
Posted Jan 7, 2014
4/5 American Hustle (2013) Adam Ross ... American Hustle is like a passionate, booze-soaked conversation at a party: fun while it last, but foggy the next morning. EDIT
Posted Dec 12, 2013
3/5 Ender's Game (2013) Adam Ross A lot of Ender's Game plays like Starship Troopers: The Early Years. EDIT
Posted Dec 10, 2013
3/5 Closed Circuit (2013) Adam Ross The trailers have sold this film as a slick thriller, but unfortunately Closed Circuit is more chamomile tea than Red Bull. EDIT
Posted Nov 27, 2013
3/5 Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (2013) Adam Ross I can't imagine anyone going into this film expecting Mrs. Doubtfire... EDIT
Posted Nov 13, 2013
4/5 Captain Phillips (2013) Adam Ross The number one thing I took away from Captain Phillips (and Zero Dark Thirty before it) is: Don't. Ever. Mess. With. America. They take that (stuff) personally. EDIT
Posted Nov 12, 2013
2/5 The Counselor (2013) Adam Ross ...at least in No Country these conversations ended with a cattle gun to the head. EDIT
Posted Nov 11, 2013
1/5 The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013) Adam Ross 'Author' Cassandra Clare assumes that you have never seen a film or read a book in your entire life. She steals plot details from Star Wars, Harry Potter and Twilight and assumes that no one will notice. I did. EDIT
Posted Nov 10, 2013
2/5 We're the Millers (2013) Adam Ross More like We're the Fillers. Despite having a half-decent premise, this generic American comedy squanders every single one of its comedic opportunities. EDIT
Posted Oct 13, 2013
3/5 Pain & Gain (2013) Adam Ross ...the film occasionally approaches something resembling satire. Bay's attempts at humour are not always insightful though - a dead woman's breast implant still gets giggled. EDIT
Posted Oct 12, 2013
4/5 Elysium (2013) Adam Ross After District 9, this is a little bit of a disappointment... but a must-see for fans of the genre. EDIT
Posted Oct 5, 2013
5/5 Gravity (2013) Adam Ross ...Cuaron takes elements that remove the soul from most films and uses them to his advantage. Gravity opens up the possibilities of cinema. (Video review) EDIT
Posted Oct 2, 2013
4/5 The World's End (2013) Adam Ross ...may not be as funny or inventive as its trailblazing predecessors, but it still has enough of the good stuff to put most big-budget Hollywood comedies to shame. (Video Review) EDIT
Posted Aug 11, 2013
3/5 The Wolverine (2013) Adam Ross ...its not the definitive Wolverine film that we had been promised. (Video Review) EDIT
Posted Aug 6, 2013
4/5 The Conjuring (2013) Adam Ross ...2013's horror film to beat. (Video review) EDIT
Posted Jul 29, 2013
2/5 Only God Forgives (2013) Adam Ross Ultra Art-house, ultra obscure... a step down from Drive. (Video Review). EDIT
Posted Jul 29, 2013
3/5 Fast & Furious 6 (2013) Adam Ross ... Lin must actually listen to criticism and has been slowly rectifying the mistakes made in his previous films - hell, the way he is going, by the time they get to Sweet Fast 16, it might be up for Best Picture. EDIT
Posted Jun 5, 2013
2/5 The Great Gatsby (2013) Adam Ross It may sound like a strange comparison, but the film that Gatsby reminded me of the most is Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers. EDIT
Posted May 30, 2013
5/5 The Place Beyond the Pines (2012) Adam Ross Bleak, raw, epic and vibrating with energy, Pines is a film to haunt your dreams, and, so far, the best thing I've seen in a cinema in 2013. EDIT
Posted May 11, 2013
4/5 The Hunt (2012) Adam Ross ...watching an intelligent discourse on such a tricky subject makes for engrossing drama, even if it comes at the expense of our protagonist: a good man stranded in the void between moral panic and due process. EDIT
Posted May 5, 2013
2/5 Iron Man 3 (2013) Adam Ross This film resembles its protagonist Tony Stark: its overblown, convoluted and seemingly disconnected to anything that has come before it. EDIT
Posted May 1, 2013
4/5 Oblivion (2013) Adam Ross Not all of Oblivion's big ideas stick - in fact some of them threaten to send the film spiralling into its namesake - but at its best, the film achieves something that is highly elusive in modern film: it is completely and utterly engrossing. EDIT
Posted Apr 21, 2013
3/5 Warm Bodies (2013) Adam Ross ...the film's horror element is hamstrung by its bloodless rating, so the filmmakers often focus on the immaculate cheekbones of their leads... EDIT
Posted Apr 10, 2013
1/5 A Good Day to Die Hard (2013) Adam Ross Gone is the vulnerable, smart and resourceful hero of the original. He has instead been replaced by an unstoppable killing machine who - like a pull-string toy - sprouts irrelevant catch phrases like 'I'm on vacation!' in the middle of a fire fight. EDIT
Posted Mar 25, 2013
3/5 Cloud Atlas (2012) Adam Ross ...few films have ever been this weird, this epic and this disjointed. EDIT
Posted Mar 12, 2013
3/5 The Last Stand (2013) Adam Ross ...it's refreshing to watch a film that wants to be nothing more than a blood-soaked accompaniment to beer and pizza. EDIT
Posted Feb 26, 2013
4/5 Django Unchained (2012) Adam Ross It would seem that this film's irreverence isn't a case of didn't-try-can't-fail dismissiveness, but rather something more innocuous: it's simply the world interpreted through Tarantino's boisterous perspective. EDIT
Posted Jan 28, 2013
2/5 Gangster Squad (2013) Adam Ross ...it would seem so much was spent on waistcoats that no one could afford to go to Officeworks, as Gangster Squad's script - the foundation of every film - is an absolute mess. EDIT
Posted Jan 11, 2013
4/5 Jack Reacher (2012) Adam Ross Unless you cast Yao Ming as Bilbo Baggins, what bearing does height have on a characterisation? Thank Christ that Cruise has an unwavering sense of self, as Jack Reacher is old school action dynamite. EDIT
Posted Jan 6, 2013
2/5 Red Dawn (2012) Adam Ross If your film choices are dictated by what is in the $2 pile at Blockbuster, I imagine this kind of easily justified pro-war sentiment would go down a treat, especially with a bottle of cheap whiskey. EDIT
Posted Dec 4, 2012
2/5 Trouble With the Curve (2012) Adam Ross It's a shame that Kevin Costner had already taken the title The Postman as it perfectly defines Curve - a film where every single plot development is telegraphed in advance. EDIT
Posted Dec 1, 2012
5/5 Skyfall (2012) Adam Ross Skyfall does what all of the best franchise entries do: it makes you want to see the next one immediately. Consider me (physically) shaken and (emotionally) stirred. EDIT
Posted Nov 23, 2012
4/5 End of Watch (2012) Adam Ross ...one of 2012's best action films. EDIT
Posted Nov 6, 2012
4/5 Dredd (2012) Adam Ross ...Dredd is one of the year's purest, most gratifying genre films. EDIT
Posted Oct 27, 2012
5/5 Argo (2012) Adam Ross ...incredibly entertaining, lucid crowd pleaser. I'm [annoyed] that people may hear the synopsis and go 'Oh, that's not my thing', because Argo is everyone's thing: it's one of the year's best films. EDIT
Posted Oct 25, 2012
2/5 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012) Adam Ross ...Shulman and Joost forget to bring the scary - that low frequency noise and telegraphed pop-up scares have worn as thin as a communal durex. EDIT
Posted Oct 19, 2012
3/5 Total Recall (2012) Adam Ross This new version of Total Recall is the cinematic equivalent of a vibrator: it is whirling, sleek, shiny and utterly artificial, yet it gets you where you need to go. EDIT
Posted Oct 19, 2012
4/5 The Campaign (2012) Adam Ross The Campaign is an equal split of smart and stupid. Some people may be off-put by the wild detours into vulgarity, but I relished it. EDIT
Posted Oct 19, 2012