God Hates Geeks

God Hates Geeks is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Chris Sawin
Rating Title/Year Author
2/5 Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) Chris Sawin There's chemistry amongst the cast that is undeniable and some of its outrageousness is entertaining, but it all begins to feel similar and falls apart far sooner than it should. The story is basically a dunce cap disguised as a pocket protector. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
2.5/5 Hellboy (2019) Chris Sawin The performances are flat, the music is this weird blend of copyrighted songs and generic rock music, and the story is written in a way that prioritizes lengthy redundant talking over providing something amusing for its audience. Hellboy is just boring. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
1.75/5 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018) Chris Sawin The Crimes of Grindelwald is visually outstanding, but its convoluted storytelling, uninspired performances, and inability to make the events of this sequel seem relevant causes it to feel like a torturous 134-minute exposure to a Caterwauling Charm. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
1.5/5 The Predator (2018) Chris Sawin The screenplay is weak, the humor is lame, the action is this smorgasbord of dizzying darkness and poor CGI. The Predator rips the spinal column out of this franchise and chooses stupidity and redundancy over an actual evolution. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
5/5 Hereditary (2018) Chris Sawin Hereditary is a screamish plunge into nightmarish insanity. It is absolutely bizarre at times, spine tingling at others, and loaded with bonkers terror in between EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
4.25/5 Upgrade (2018) Chris Sawin With unbelievable action sequences, jaw-dropping bloodshed, and a surprisingly unique climax, Upgrade is sci-fi body horror at its most dynamic and raw. If John Wick was rewired to star in a superior version of Hardcore Henry, you'd get Upgrade. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
4.5/5 Cargo (2018) Chris Sawin Martin Freeman delivers a well-crafted performance in Cargo while the story taps into some unexpected layers of emotion. The ending packs a softhearted thwack to your delicate inner organs that is nearly as heavy as the finale to Logan. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
2/5 Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) Chris Sawin The humor feels forced and thrives on the overwhelming amount of lameness found crammed into a bunch of dad jokes strung together as the film practically jabs you with its metaphorical elbow as it waggles its eyebrows and asks if you get it or not. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
1.5/5 Hagane no renkinjutsushi (2017) Chris Sawin Just because the visuals are nice in Fullmetal Alchemist doesn't mean we can overlook the lame costume design, the strained acting, or the piss poor representation of a beloved anime and manga series. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
3/5 Mute (2017) Chris Sawin Mute gets so caught up in the mystery aspect of the story that all logic swirls together with nonsense resulting in this muddy sci-fi diarrhea with head scratching character turns and questionable reveals that aren't fully explained. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
3/5 Bright (2017) Chris Sawin There's a clunkiness to Bright; this awkward and misshapen quality that is corny and hard to swallow but something about crime being intertwined with fantasy and prejudice works really well in today's day and age. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
5/5 The Shape of Water (2017) Chris Sawin The Shape of Water juggles heart-wrenching tragedy, sharp-witted humor, and heartwarming brilliance. Del Toro has this personal understanding of flawed humans and eccentric creatures resulting in something magical and wondrous. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
2/5 Death Note (2017) Chris Sawin The Netflix adaptation feels like the Final Destination franchise and Dawson's Creek had a regrettable affair together and Death Note is the aborted baby that they attempted to sweep under a back alley dumpster to keep hidden from the rest of the world. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
1/5 The Mummy (2017) Chris Sawin Every predictable layer found within the derivative bandages of The Mummy reveals the sarcophagi of a dull and crusty film. The performances are stale other than Tom Cruise who is excited about @#$! no one else can bother with. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
0/5 Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) Chris Sawin This franchise has lost its ability to tell any sort of coherent storytelling and instead chooses to hone in on cartoon absurdity and undoubtedly some of the dumbest cinematic characters imaginable. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
3/5 Alien: Covenant (2017) Chris Sawin Alien: Covenant is the bloodiest this franchise has been in a long time, but it isn't scary. The film is a beautiful symphony performed with amateur instruments. It is a hellish workshop overflowing with gut-wrenching disappointment. EDIT
Posted Sep 1, 2019
3.5/5 Sully (2016) Chris Sawin Sympathy, compassion, and unselfish behavior are unfortunately qualities the modern world doesn't always embrace. It's at least a breath of fresh air to see our entertainment embrace that concept with open arms and completely soar with it. EDIT
Posted Aug 31, 2019
4.5/5 Logan (2017) Chris Sawin Logan is the mercilessly barbaric Wolverine film you have always wanted chock full of blood, gore, and extreme vulgarity even South Park would be proud of. Beautifully bleak and faithful to the source material. EDIT
Posted Aug 30, 2019
3/5 Kingdom (2019) Chris Sawin Kingdom is a decent action adventure that just takes a while to really get going. The performances aren't totally satisfying and the story isn't exactly hard to follow, but it does feel like it's trying to be more convoluted than it needs to be. EDIT
Posted Aug 30, 2019
5/5 Arrival (2016) Chris Sawin Its visuals are remarkable and its storyline is so beautifully structured. Arrival is one of the most extraordinary, breathtaking, and thought provoking films of the year. This is what science fiction is supposed to be. EDIT
Posted Nov 14, 2016
3.5/5 Doctor Strange (2016) Chris Sawin Visually, this is a hallucinatory wet dream. However, like the character in the film, Doctor Strange offers a spellbinding exploration of what lies beyond the stars yet lacks the proper mastery of the mystical concepts it introduces. EDIT
Posted Nov 4, 2016