"This is, I hope, the only movie that has shown, or will ever show, Johnny Vegas, topless, in not one, but two gangbang scenes."
Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)
The Dreamers (2004)
Double Indemnity (1944)
"The ultimate film noir crime picture."
The Mother (2004)
Big Fish (2003)
"The story of the movie is disjointed and unaffecting, and what we remember are all the little moments, for their visual splendour, their joyful flights of fancy."
The Haunted Mansion (2003)
Lost In Translation (2003)
"The movie should have been a masterpiece of mood and character, and it almost is, revolving as it does around two wonderful performances."
Cold Mountain (2003)
"Whether we're watching the domestic struggles of Kidman or Law doing moody wandering, scenes run on randomly, and don't build into a structure with arc or emphasis."
Freaky Friday (2003)
"Somehow people have got it into their heads that this is a good movie."
Love Actually (2003)
"It wants to swirl round the world and find love in every cranny, but it doesn't have the effortless rush of energy that it would need to make the masses of plot come together."
"The arguments between Bettany and Crowe don't seem like typical leader-and-subordinate confrontations, but have real philosophical edge, and are beautifully played."
Mystic River (2003)
"It's not the masterpiece people have been claiming, but Eastwood does set up a gripping moody atmosphere and get some fine performances out of his actors."
Peter Pan (2003)
"It's not colourful, it's not fun, it's just a gaudy mess of bad aesthetic choices and cruddy CGI."
Touching the Void (2004)
"There's something amazing about looking in the eyes of the guys telling this story."
"Where things fall apart are the scenes that try to put in characterisation, and, God help us, comic relief."
"Talented performers, effectively dramatic."
Cremaster 4 (1995)
"Fairly straightforward, at least compared to the rest of the cycle..."
Cremaster 5 (1997)
"Lots of classy dark colours and soaring music..."
Cremaster 1 (1996)
The Shape Of Things (2002)
"Some critics have called the film stolid and stagy. I think the way it sits still and looks hard is just the point, and the key to its effect."
"Ultimately this journey has been about the endgame, and now that we're here, we get a shattering sense of all that is at stake."
Cremaster 2 (1999)
"It's a little longer than Cremaster 1, and it has extra room for more confusing craziness."
Cremaster 3 (2003)
"The endurance test of the Cremaster series."
In the Cut (2003)
"A movie that moves between pretentious and incompetent, a sleazy straight-to-video-style sex and violence crapfest which ends up simply laughable when it tries to go arty."
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
"This is a film you go to for the pretty pictures, for the neon and the quirky shapes, for the mix of 80s retro style with the fashions of today."
"A movie that lives inside our memories of movies, and tramples all over them with a crazed, subversive joy."
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
"It is not about conclusiveness, but about solving the immediate struggles of its own stupid sci-fi details."
She's Having a Baby (1988)
"It should have been the movie where Hughes got Oscar nominations; the Academy weren't going to award his comedies, but here is where he showed he could branch out and grow up."
Bad Boys II (2003)
"The Bad Boys movies are supposed to be about two cops, but all I see is a pair of actors reading descriptions of their characters."
"The astonishing achievement of Underworld is that it's a movie without a single good moment, and they still managed to make one helluva trailer."
Hail the Conquering Hero (1944)
"The dialogue of Preston Sturges shoots and shoots, never seems to miss, and convinces you of its genius in around about a minute."
Kill Bill: Volume 1 (2003)
"Has all the coolness and daring and wit through which Tarantino made his name. It delivers what we expected, and packs some shocking punches on top."
Calendar Girls (2003)
"Places itself in a tradition of films that are fairly easy to make, looks like it's doing a professional job and still ends up failing."
"There is a charm about the movie's crazy camera angles and insistence on grabbing for silly visual jokes, but you can't quite call it a success."
Good Bye, Lenin! (2004)
"The backdrop is snatching at random political significance, and the plot just turns into a stupid and pointless comedy of errors."
Matchstick Men (2003)
"Matchstick Men is a lot more engaging than a circular argument, but it's about as frustrating."
"It tries a valiant effort to be smart and edgy, and feels like something that's always edging at greatness but never quite managing to break on through."
Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
"One of the great popular entertainments of our time, a film that still has a place on the top 40 list of American box-office champs, and continues to look slick and full of energy almost twenty years after opening."
"The first movie had grey stone and blue light and orange beams, and it just looked cooler and more together."
"A character can be intelligent and provocative by pointing out the flaws of sophisticated people, but not by posing like a rebel and ripping into stereotypes."
Agent Cody Banks (2003)
"The movie is bouncy and colourful, and cheesy in a nice way, but it outstays its welcome in the last half hour."
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
"Misses the chance of actually being a good movie, but it feels energetic and colourful."
Roger Dodger (2002)
American Wedding (2003)
"It's not that the movie is bad, it just feels awkward and not quite right."