Hollywood Bitchslap

Hollywood Bitchslap is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s): Dan Lybarger, David Cornelius, Erik Childress, Oz, Scott Weinberg
Rating Title/Year Author
Make-Out With Violence (2008) Erik Childress This is a far more complex and thoughtful examination of the transition to adulthood and how we deal with death rather than just another zombie flick. EDIT
Posted Aug 12, 2009
1/5 Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon (2004) David Cornelius You see, some folks apparently lack the savvy to avoid bankrolling a movie with the words 'Max Havoc,' 'Albert Pyun,' and 'kickboxing champion' related to them. EDIT
Posted Jan 12, 2007
1/5 National Lampoon's Pledge This! (2006) David Cornelius So yeah. It's a National Lampoon/Paris Hilton movie that nobody wanted to release. And yet it manages to even be far worse than that. EDIT
Posted Dec 27, 2006
1/5 American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006) David Cornelius Crude, sure. Vulgar, no doubt. But funny? Not at all. EDIT
Posted Dec 20, 2006
4/5 SPL (2005) David Cornelius The film's signature pieces are its fight scenes, but Yip works best in the quieter moments. EDIT
Posted Oct 24, 2006
4/5 Clive Barker's The Plague (2006) David Cornelius This is the sort of horror film that hooks you from frame one with both smarts and frights. EDIT
Posted Sep 5, 2006
2/5 Snakes on a Train (2006) David Cornelius The Mallachi Brothers truly impress. Too bad they got stuck with a screenplay that can't hold itself above water and a studio stuck in one heck of a lame rut. EDIT
Posted Aug 14, 2006
2/5 Bloodsuckers (2005) David Cornelius What begins as a big pile of dumb fun winds up a weary mess. EDIT
Posted Jun 24, 2006
3/5 Dungeons & Dragons 2: The Elemental Might (2005) David Cornelius A low-key adventure packed with the kind of fantasy that's endlessly ridiculous yet loveable in a Harryhausen kind of way. EDIT
Posted Jun 20, 2006
1/5 Naked in the 21st Century: A Journey Through Naturism (2004) David Cornelius Naked is bad beyond human comprehension, one of the poorest excuses for a legitimate feature film that I have ever had the misfortune to endure. EDIT
Posted Mar 1, 2006
3/5 Santa's Slay (2005) David Cornelius It's cheap, it's goofy, but it's surprisingly smart and endlessly entertaining. EDIT
Posted Dec 30, 2005
3/5 The God Who Wasn't There (2005) David Cornelius Its arguments are too thin as seen here on their own... but it will get people thinking, talking, arguing. EDIT
Posted Dec 11, 2005
1/5 War of the Planets (2005) David Cornelius This is 82 minutes of utter lousiness, delivered right to your television set. EDIT
Posted Nov 14, 2005
3/5 My Left Eye Sees Ghosts (2002) David Cornelius If nothing else, hey, at least we get to watch Sammi Cheng for a while. EDIT
Posted Oct 11, 2005
1/5 See Arnold Run (2005) David Cornelius What would you expect from a telepic written by the guy who gave us Category 6: Day of Destruction, starring the guy from Son of the Beach? EDIT
Posted Sep 20, 2005
4/5 Gonggongui Jeog (Public Enemy) (Public's Enemy) (2002) David Cornelius Even in its darkest corners, the movie maintains its sense of fun, crashing us from idea to idea with a wink in its eye and a smirk on its face. EDIT
Posted Sep 3, 2005
2/5 Glass Trap (2005) David Cornelius It's one of those movies that looks like it was a gas to make. To watch, though? Not so much. EDIT
Posted Aug 2, 2005
3/5 Parts: The Clonus Horror (1979) David Cornelius Features all the good - and all the bad - of 70s sci-fi cheese. EDIT
Posted Jul 25, 2005
1/5 Miss Castaway and the Island Girls (2004) David Cornelius It is one of the most excruciating cinematic experiences of my life. EDIT
Posted Jul 25, 2005
3/5 Letter to the President (2005) David Cornelius What's not to love about a movie that features both Larry Flynt making fun of Bill O'Reilly and a professor of humanities quoting Biggie? EDIT
Posted Jun 28, 2005
2/5 Immortal (Ad Vitam) (2004) David Cornelius Immortal is as incoherent a story as you'll ever find. But it sure is pretty. EDIT
Posted Jun 18, 2005
1/5 The Amazing Spider-Man (1977) David Cornelius One of the boob tube's biggest calamities, ranking somewhere in between "AfterMASH" and Craig Kilborn. EDIT
Posted Jun 18, 2005
5/5 Infection (2004) David Cornelius It's a masterwork of horror cinema, smartly constructed, effortlessly effective in delivering the goods. EDIT
Posted May 17, 2005
3/5 Black Cadillac (2003) David Cornelius It doesn't measure up to its influences, to be sure, but on its own, it stands as a nifty, doable chase picture. EDIT
Posted May 17, 2005
2/5 Cat and Mouse (2003) David Cornelius Cat and Mouse is a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be, so it tries to be everything - and fails at too much of it. EDIT
Posted Apr 29, 2005
1/5 () David Cornelius Mulva is unquestionably among the very worst movies to ever land an official public release. EDIT
Posted Apr 8, 2005
5/5 () David Cornelius Fukasaku's work here is one of the finest moments in gangster cinema history. But it's also among the most exhausting. EDIT
Posted Mar 19, 2005
5/5 () David Cornelius Fukasaku and Kasahara go for extreme nihilism here, telling us that every deal, every action, every death was all for nothing. EDIT
Posted Mar 19, 2005
5/5 () David Cornelius With Proxy War, Fukasaku reveals his Shakespearean intentions. EDIT
Posted Mar 19, 2005
5/5 () David Cornelius A second chapter that's every bit as powerful as the first. EDIT
Posted Mar 19, 2005
2/5 Balto III: Wings of Change (2004) David Cornelius Wings of Change is one of those video efforts that will fade away all too quickly. EDIT
Posted Feb 2, 2005
4/5 Six Strong Guys (2004) David Cornelius These are characters you want to embrace, moments that will make you beam. EDIT
Posted Jan 24, 2005
2/5 Raw Force (1981) Dan Lybarger It's cheap; it's tawdry; it's vulgar; and it's almost watchable in a cheesy sort of way. EDIT
Posted Jan 19, 2005
4/5 Stealing Beauty (1996) Dan Lybarger Gorgeous Tuscan scenery and a breakthrough performance by Liv Tyler help make this sudsy flick entertaining. EDIT
Posted Jan 19, 2005
4/5 Full Metal Jacket (1987) Dan Lybarger Not Kubrick's best, but often powerful, particularly for R. Lee Ermey's performance. EDIT
Posted Jan 19, 2005
5/5 To Catch a Thief (1955) Dan Lybarger Vintage Hitchcock. EDIT
Posted Dec 31, 2004
5/5 The Longest Day (1962) David Cornelius It is, and will most likely always remain, the definitve D-Day picture. EDIT
Posted Dec 7, 2004
1/5 Dracula 3000 (2004) David Cornelius This movie's one Ice-T or Dean Cain short of being a direct-to-video all-star parade. EDIT
Posted Dec 4, 2004
4/5 Persons of Interest (2004) Dan Lybarger Watching Persons of Interest makes a viewer realize how fragile the rights that make this country great can be. EDIT
Posted Sep 20, 2004
3/5 Criminal (2004) Dan Lybarger Criminal can be praised and damned for its fidelity to the Argentinean masterpiece Nine Queens. EDIT
Posted Sep 19, 2004
3/5 Justice League - Star Crossed: The Movie (2003) David Cornelius If you find yourself disappointed in recent live action superhero stuff, give this one a spin. EDIT
Posted Jul 28, 2004
0/5 Barely Brooke (2002) Oz There's nothing that demonstrates so fully how meritless the world of modeling is than a full hour devoted to a photo shoot. EDIT
Posted May 26, 2004
4/5 Full Metal Jacket (1987) Oz Quote not available. EDIT
Posted May 26, 2004
4/5 High Fidelity: The Guarneri String Quartet (1989) Oz Quote not available. EDIT
Posted May 26, 2004
4/5 Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (1990) Oz Quote not available. EDIT
Posted May 26, 2004
3/5 Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004) Thom Fowler Darryl Hannah practically steals the movie. EDIT
Posted Apr 16, 2004
3.5/5 () Oz Sure, it's not polished, and yeah, some of it falls flat, but if stars were won for effort, talent and prospects for the future, everyone here would be reveling in the five's. EDIT
Posted Apr 3, 2004
3.5/5 () Oz The makers of Red Vs Blue have used actual Halo video game footage and voiceover dialogue to create a piece of animation that looks a million bucks and will have you howling. EDIT
Posted Mar 25, 2004
3/5 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) Oz Quote not available. EDIT
Posted Mar 8, 2004
2/5 Liar (1998) Oz Quote not available. EDIT
Posted Mar 8, 2004