Kinnopio's Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Kinnopio's Movie Reviews

Kinnopio's Movie Reviews is not a Tomatometer-approved publication. Reviews from this publication only count toward the Tomatometer when written by the following Tomatometer-approved critic(s):
Rating
Title/Year
Author
1
2/4
Constantine (2005)
It feels like a repackaged version of The Matrix, only less costly and more literal.
Posted Feb 16, 2005
2
2.5/4
You may find yourself wishing for something more consequential; just because romantic comedies are supposed to be sweet doesn't mean they have to dissolve like sugar, too.
Posted Feb 5, 2005
3
1/4
Less a coherent motion picture than a series of fight scenes and shootouts that feature abysmally unconvincing special effects.
Posted Jan 28, 2005
4
2.5/4
A familiar, unremarkable shoot-em-up: low on tension, suspense, and plot, and high on bullets, clich├ęs, and one-liners.
Posted Jan 14, 2005
5
1.5/4
Elektra (2005)
Badass action heroine movies are like trendy new cell phone accessories: Suddenly every girl in Hollywood has to have one.
Posted Jan 13, 2005
6
2/4
One-dimensional storytelling may be necessary for very young viewers, but kids, on the whole, are smarter than Racing Stripes gives them credit for being.
Posted Jan 10, 2005
7
3.5/4
The French version of Cold Mountain, a romance of epic proportions that thinks it's a war picture.
Posted Jan 10, 2005
8
2/4
White Noise (2005)
A scary, empty thriller ... thick with middle-age fantasy but woefully thin on plot.
Posted Jan 4, 2005
9
3/4
Coach Carter (2005)
A strong performance by Samuel L. Jackson enables the film to transcend the mold exploited by other teen sports dramas.
Posted Jan 2, 2005
10
2/4
Not nearly as funny as Meet the Parents, and saved only from disaster by Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand.
Posted Jan 2, 2005
11
1.5/4
Darkness (2004)
Scary in the familiar, intermittent way of a run-of-the-mill thriller.
Posted Jan 2, 2005
12
2.5/4
It deviates from the teen genre enough to suggest that Scarlett Johnasson is more concerned with the lateral boundaries of her range than the vertical ones.
Posted Jan 2, 2005
13
3/4
Not as good as Wes Anderson's two best movies, The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore, but it still offers a broad sample of his distinct style.
Posted Jan 2, 2005
14
3.5/4
The Aviator (2004)
If you want to understand why everyone has such high regard for Martin Scorsese, one good place to start would be with The Aviator.
Posted Jan 2, 2005
15
3.5/4
I do not know whether Clint Eastwood has read any Steinbeck, but you would certainly think it from the way that he has filmed Million Dollar Baby.
Posted Jan 2, 2005
16
2/4
Bland and unremarkable.
Posted Dec 18, 2004
17
3/4
A charm of fiction and imagination.
Posted Dec 15, 2004
18
3/4
Intermission (2003)
A greasy, pugnacious, and very watchable ensemble movie.
Posted Dec 14, 2004
19
1.5/4
Spanglish (2004)
Spanglish is a real button-pusher, one of those comedies that operates in narrative shorthand.
Posted Dec 10, 2004
20
3/4
Hotel Rwanda (2004)
Hotel Rwanda is not perfect, but it compels us to be.
Posted Dec 8, 2004
21
2/4
Soderbergh has overcomplicated what made Ocean's Eleven worthwhile: the breezy fun of watching a bunch of A-list stars goofing off.
Posted Dec 7, 2004
22
1.5/4
So far from the original Blade, that were it not for Wesley Snipes, you would probably think that it was a spin-off.
Posted Dec 3, 2004
23
3.5/4
Closer (2004)
Riveting for the way it effortlessly but relentlessly dials up the tension with the things the characters say.
Posted Dec 3, 2004
24
3/4

Quote not available.
Posted Dec 1, 2004
25
1.5/4
As soggy and unhealthy as a half-baked Christmas cookie.
Posted Nov 26, 2004
26
3/4
Alexander (2004)

Quote not available.
Posted Nov 24, 2004
27
2.5/4
Kinsey (2004)
A straightforward accounting of a man's life, neatly sorted out in by-the-book Hollywood fashion.
Posted Nov 24, 2004
28
1/4
Not the best way to get your feet wet when it comes to the world of the franchise's frenetically goofy sponge-hero.
Posted Nov 21, 2004
29
4/4
Sideways (2004)
Not just a simple fable but a broad of slice of life, filled with Pinot highs, Merlot lows, and everything in between.
Posted Nov 17, 2004
30
2/4

Quote not available.
Posted Nov 17, 2004
31
3/4
A combination love story and martial arts picture that is as heartfelt as any.
Posted Nov 16, 2004
32
2/4
Plays out like The Da Vinci Code for the American history set.
Posted Nov 15, 2004
33
0.5/4
Seed of Chucky is not like Child's Play, which is an enjoyably bad movie. There is no fun to be had in this abomination of a sequel.
Posted Nov 13, 2004
34
3/4
Alfie (2004)

Quote not available.
Posted Nov 10, 2004
35
3.5/4
A surprisingly faithful and skilled adaptation of Chris Van Allsburg's book, a movie that expands the story without diluting it.
Posted Nov 10, 2004
36
1.5/4
For Brosnan, this marks his latest in a series of unconvincing efforts to distance himself from the James Bond franchise.
Posted Nov 7, 2004
37
3/4
A movie that is not about the characters in it, but rather the power that a bit of imagination has to get them -- and anyone -- through their darkest hours.
Posted Nov 5, 2004
38
2/4
Saw (2004)

Quote not available.
Posted Nov 3, 2004
39
3/4
Easily Pixar's best-looking movie yet.
Posted Nov 3, 2004
40
3/4
Ray (2004)
Foxx's performance as Ray Charles ... is so outstanding that it makes an otherwise formulaic and somewhat predictable movie very much worth watching.
Posted Nov 2, 2004
41
3.5/4
Vera Drake (2004)
The terrifically honest, emotional, and heartfelt performance given by Imelda Staunton should win over viewers regardless of their opinions on the subject matter.
Posted Oct 27, 2004
42
2/4
I'll put up with the necessary evil of product placement to a certain extent, but I also require a decent narrative. This movie feels like a 90-minute KFC commercial.
Posted Oct 25, 2004
43
2/4
The Grudge (2004)
Has a handful of scares but none that are legitimately earned.
Posted Oct 23, 2004
44
3/4

Quote not available.
Posted Oct 20, 2004
45
1.5/4
A movie you watch with a half-cringe on your face, waiting to see the lengths to which Affleck will humiliate himself.
Posted Oct 20, 2004
46
2.5/4
Raunchy, offensive, and sometimes hilarious.
Posted Oct 12, 2004
47
1.5/4
Proves with scientific irrefutability one of the movies' few truths: Formulaic, barely-fictional self-discovery movies spruced up with pop tunes will always get bad reviews.
Posted Oct 10, 2004
48
1/4
Taxi (2004)
About 60 or 70 jokes fall flat in this movie, which wouldn't know comedy if it was written in block letters on the side of the Empire State Building.
Posted Oct 6, 2004
49
2/4

Quote not available.
Posted Oct 6, 2004
50
2.5/4
While Friday Night Lights has the same earnest intentions as Hoosiers, Miracle, and others, it just doesn't have the heart.
Posted Oct 6, 2004