Posted on 7/12/13 11:17 PM
Continuing Hollywood's tradition of raping Planet of the Apes, we have Rise of the Planet of the Apes, the most long-winded title since Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Although this film boasts Andy Serkis (who has essentially made a career of jumping around in a latex bodysuit), its human characters essentially kill it, and then piss on its dead corpse.
Telling the story of how the Planet of the Apes came to be might be a worthy endeavor, but it's carried out in horrible fashion here. James Franco is undeniably a terrible actor, and the director tried WAY too hard to sell a relationship between him and Freida Pinto. They're both unlikable and thoroughly bad actors. I was not impressed whatsoever. Franco specifically channeled his Harry Osborne shit from the Spider-Man movies, which was just as annoying here as in those three films. The character of the whiny bitch gets really old, really fast.
As I said before, Andy Serkis was great, but it got a little too far into 2001: A Space Odyssey territory at some points. The screenwriters clearly knew that audiences would be transfixed by a CGI ape, so they wrote in plenty of scenes that include nothing but him jumping around and hogging the camera. It was stupid. Your most impressive character cannot be:
A) Completely without dialogue
B) Constantly onscreen for no good reason
Sure, the film is notable for its advancements in CG, but so was Avatar, and that was shit as well. At least Avatar featured Sigourney Weaver, however, while this had to rely on two unlikable leads who really screwed the whole movie over. I can't stress enough how bad their chemistry was.
Final Score for Rise of the Planet of the Apes: 3/10 stars. Memorable for Serkis's performance-- and essentially nothing else. Don't even bother watching it unless you plan on being bored to death. It's really a one-trick pony of a movie that does not deserve the audience's time.