andrzejbanas's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky

I caught this at a local theater screening. I love my new theater's ownership!

Usually known for it's gore (or at least what I saw from animated gifs of it online). Riki-oh is simply just a really really silly movie. Violent as hell as the pictures suggest but with the right amount of people in the audience it's enjoyable...

..for about half of it. This movie is so crazy and so ignorant of plot that I felt totally exhausted half way through. When characters turn into monsters and people expand and explode it slowly makes me just feel drained.

For cheese lovers it's a must at least once. For all others, well...it's not forgettable. But I think most will remember watching it then exactly what happened.

Deadly Eyes (The Rats)
½

Much more fun when you find out that the giant rats in this movie are wiener dogs dressed as rats!

Detroit Rock City

Overlong Propaganda for the Kiss army.

Total Recall
Total Recall(1990)
½

Good! Lacks the satire of RoboCop but still entertaining brainless fun. One of Arnie's better films outside the Terminator series.

Black Sheep
Black Sheep(2006)

More silly than funny. I grew more tired of the sheep jokes as it went on.

2012
2012(2009)

It's crap basically.

A Better Tomorrow

Not bad for Woo or Chow Yun Fat addicts, but if you are a new comer, stick with The Killer!

Le Million
Le Million(1931)

Kind of light-hearted but pretty entertaining chase movie musical. I love watching movies that are really early talkies and comparing them. Take this one, that has a lot of energy and playful scenes (both musically and visually) to something form the same year like...Dracula which bores me far more. Tons of fun.

Ong-Bak (Ong Bak: Muay Thai Warrior)
½

Any film that involves fridges being thrown at people can't be all that bad.

1990: I guerrieri del Bronx (1990: Bronx Warriors)
½

Eugh. Italy shouldn't make action films. Better yet, they shouldn't attempt to mix Escape form New York with The Warriors. +half a star for Fred The Hammer Williamson. A film with him in it can't be all bad.

The Hospital
The Hospital(1971)

Despite this utterly dull DVD cover this is an awesome black comedy with a script I could listen to forever. Some of the anti-hippie politics of it all is obvious and dated, but that hasn't stopped me before. There are no other reviews from my friends about this movie and only three others want to see it. I say check it out whenever and however you can.

Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans

I originally gave this four and a half stars as I was a bit miffed by it turning to a mild comedy so abruptly. After watching it a second time it's kind of perfect! Not a wasted shot. Also, I believe this is the film in King of the Hill about "the film where the pig gets loose!". That makes two Murnau references in one show. How odd.

Unstoppable
Unstoppable(2010)
½

Really typical Tony Scott nonsense with a couple of exciting scenes towards the end. More advertisements

Blacula
Blacula(1972)
½

So a theatrical screening of Blacula in a packed house! I've seen it twice now! It's not great but slightly better than you'd think. Horror fans might be disappointed as there are no real scares in it (or gore for that matter) but there are some slightly atmospheric scenes towards the end. Blaxploitation fans might be upset as there's not a lot of jive talking or drugs and funk music isn't blaring all the time (which is fair enough, it doesn't make sense for Blacula to be strolling around to the Theme from Shaft). So I don't know which crowd this will truly satisfy.

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
½

The laughs slowdown a bit as it turns into a baseball comedy, but this is still probably one of the better parody films.

Double Jeopardy

Everyone who likes this movie says they like the idea of the Double Jeopardy, not being able of being committed of the same crime twice! Too bad this is not really the main point of the film, it's just talked about the beginning and than you get a very typical chase film, then bam! Double Jeopardy! Who cares?

Wanted
Wanted(2008)

This movie wants to be a new The Matrix so hard it hurts! Stupid but not mind-piercingly so, worth for one of the most crazy car chases of the last decade. I only wish it were more funny. For something similar without as much angst, try Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

EDIT: Also, best loom-oriented film of the decade too!

Little Caesar

Early Gangster film when talkies are still taking their first baby steps in becoming watchable. Not as exciting as Scarface which was released a few years later, and yet not quite as interesting as Underword which was a silent film. It's almost like the Dracula of crime films with Edward G. Robinson being the highlight, much like Lugosi is in Dracula. Watch for Wiggum I mean Robinson.

Scarface
Scarface(1932)

Awesome. I was going to cut it a bit for the goofy Valentines Day scene but then I boosted it up because Karloff is in it.

The Runaways
The Runaways(2010)

Pretty plain jane but it chugs along. Only great if you are a Runaways fanatics, but it did not even get me interested in their music any more than I am. Can't win 'em all.

Blood Angels (Thralls)

Made for TV movies are the modern day exploitation film. If you think Charlie's Angels and Dracula 2000 are cool, you'd still have lower your standards a bit to enjoy this with a genuine appreciation.

Santa Sangre
Santa Sangre(1989)
½

Doesn't quite have the sucker punch effect that El Topo has but it has more of a story. Even if most of the first part feels a bit longer than it should and the second half isn't to dissimilar to a famous hitch film. I'd mostly recommend it for it's wicked sense of humour and occasionally striking visuals.

Iron Monkey
Iron Monkey(2001)
½

Really comic-book in tone, but it hardly matters when the action is as entertaining as it is in this one (as in awe inspiring but also over-the-top giggle worthy). My favourite scene involves three people fighting a-top flaming poles is legendary in some martial art circles. If the film could emit as much excitement as it did emotion, I'd give it an extra star rating.

Black Swan
Black Swan(2010)
½

People think this is a masterpiece? hehe...huhu...au revoir cinema.

The Woods
The Woods(2006)
½

Unoriginal and all over the place in tone, but still sort of watchable.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
½

Good but exhausting! It's as funny as the previous Edgar Wright films and even more stylish but it goes out of control. Lose an evil ex or two and we'd have a tighter film.

The Quiet
The Quiet(2006)
½

Way too campy to be taken seriously. I laughed quite a bit when this one came on. The look of this film gives digital film making a bad name.

Lake Placid 3

Oh the things I get to watch when I visit my fiancee's family.

Die Hard
Die Hard(1988)

Over the top. Impossible. Plot holes. Logic wry. Exciting. Awful come back lines. Bruce Willis. Cliche-ridden but most of all exciting regardless. The American Hard Boiled? Could be!

Léon: The Professional
½

People complain in this one that Gary Oldman is way over the top in this one, but what they forget is the entire thing is over the top! So for me, it all makes works out. Luc Besson is a Frenchman in New York and it shows. It's a really un-easy mish-mash of both French film making and American film making but it worked for me. The story is ludicrous but if you can stomach the whole thing and not worry too much about plot (seriously, cops and criminals in this film are totally interchangeable) then you can get a real kick out of it. Even the pedophilia that I've heard friends comment about, doesn't come out that harsh as the relationship between Leon and Matilda comes out some what more sweet like a young girl having a crush on a teacher instead of some creepy old guy living with a small girl. Mind you, I haven't seen the full French version, as my theater experience had 20 minutes cut. We'd have a bit of a better film if this contained more depth in it's character and a more coherent plot line. Overall though, it's Lots of fun, really crazy, bring the popcorn. I'll re-rate this on a re-watch with the extra 20 minutes.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Wow. they were pretty playful with the camera in this one. Especially considering it was 1931. Compare it to Dracula which I'll contend is a total bore outside Lugosi.

If it had a bit more of the humor that is in some of James Whale's other stuff, It would get another star.

Legion
Legion(2010)

Years from now, when the film itself is forgotten and people will look back at this film's poster and really wonder what was going on in the 2010s.

Night of the Lepus

I'd love to say that this is at least the best Killer Rabbit film, but there are far greater killer rabbits in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Fong juk (Exiled)

Plot isn't terrible, but generally passable. Excellent cinematography and attitude. Johnny To is obsessed with Jean-Pierre Melville and it shows.

Underworld
Underworld(1927)

Okay. Most people think this is the Vampires vs. Werewolves film from 2003. I promise you this isn't. This is the silent gangster film. And it's great!

The visuals take a lead in this one. I especially like the scenes of the gangsters ball and and even the simple gun fights really take off. For a silent film, it FEELS loud.

I want to watch this one again soon. I can only see my rating going higher on this one.

Ip Man
Ip Man(2010)

From what little I know about Ip Man, this film does not really need to be based on him. The war sub plots and and family troubles are all cliche and do not really build to anything. The somewhat mixed morality in the film is a bit off putting with Ip Man saying in the beginning that "oh, it doesn't matter who you are or where you are from" than following it with Chinese pride and anti-Japanese sentiment.

overall, it starts out good and fun with strong action scenes, after that, it's mostly for the martial art fanatics.

Exit Through The Gift Shop

Mister Brain Wash will give Tommy Wiseau a run for his money. If he exists that is...

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
½

watched again: didn't remember a single tune from it since my first time watching it. all the actors are fine with Borat being a high point.

The cinematography is the star in this one and that's not enough for me to recommend to anyone outside Tim Burton's fan base.

Death Wish 3
Death Wish 3(1985)
½

Is Dirty Harry too high brow for you? Than Death Wish 3 might be up your alley. As every review has stated here, this movie is ridiculous. But no one is hamming it up. The gangs which comes in packs of thousands here are just targets for Bronson, and Lautner and...well, anyone who is left standing at the end to be shot at. And it's not great action at the end, but boy is it masculine big and dumb. And I think that's what the film's cult audience want.

The Good, the Bad, and the Weird
½

Pretty solid Korean adventure film influenced more by the story of The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly than the Leone style. The action set pieces are really great to behold even if they get a little long. My favourite is the train heist sequence.

The only bummer is that the themes of the Japanese owning of the land, the treasure capture at the end are all a bit under cooked. This is worth seeing alone for the excellent action sequences and good performances. This is still better than any other action adventure heist film from the US like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull or those National Treasure films.

Hausu (House)

House is everything it's cooked up to be. And then some. It's Sam Raimi-esque before Sam Raimi and was one of the best theater going experiences of the year.

The best comedy horror film of the 1970s.

Inception
Inception(2010)

Solid flick about putting dreams within dreams so you can dream about dreaming while you dream. A sliver too long and doesn't have as strong as emotional tug as some other of Nolan's work.

The Girl Who Played with Fire (Flickan som lekte med elden)
½

Not nearly as interesting as the first one. Only of interest to die hards of the series.

8 1/2
8 1/2(1963)

Way to go flixster. Fellini came back from the dead to film and release 8 1/2 in 1999. Way to go you yutzes.

Mars Attacks!

Despite a cast of stars this one doesn't really work. The acting is all over the top which is kind of expected but as soon as the aliens come in, it's just them shooting and blasting things and special effects and they repeat this continiously.

If it's supposed to be a tribute to 1950s sci-fi films it doesn't really work. Even those films kind of believed in their stories, this is just making fun of them and a good slice of them (both the good and bad ones) are more funny than this. Stick with things like Earth Vs. the Flying Saucers than this one.

Pierrot le Fou (Pierrot Goes Wild) (Crazy Pete)

It's great at the beginning especially if you are a fan of earlier Godard films. As it goes on I find myself losing step with it all. All in all, a good explode yourself with dynamite film.

Jackie Chan's Who Am I? (Wo shi shei) (Who Am I?)

I'm aware that Jackie Chan films plots are not the point of anyone going to see his films. I'm not sure if Jackie Chan and his directors know this when they are making his films.

First of all, there is way too much padding with the scenes in Africa. Did he have to be there too long? Then we have his trip to the Netherlands where after a lot of bad dubbed talking between the villains we get to a scene where two completely new characters get into the best fight scene in the film. This scene is on youtube. you can watch it there. This is for hardcore jackie chan fan addicts only while first-timers should stick with Drunken Master II.

Iron Man 2
Iron Man 2(2010)

Satisfying enough s sequel to Iron Man. It falls apart like an X-Men film when you have too many characters during the middle who do nothing but push plot forward, and unless you know comics very well you won't really know or care who they are. Action scenes are as weak if not weaker than the original and it's just not as good as the first one.

The Big Lebowski

Enjoyed quite a bit. Towards the end the plot and crime element get a bit interesting as I found that it became too much of The Dude and Walter going somewhere, Walter getting mad and doing something stupid. Repeat. Thankfully, it's funny throughout so there's no problem otherwise.

The Wicker Man

I watched this right after Hot Fuzz, good double feature! Solid, intelligent bloodless horror (well, doesn't really feel like a horror film until the last quarter). It's a bit over-rated but I've enjoyed it more than several other 70's "horror classics".

Probably the best British horror film of the 1970s!

Kick-Ass
Kick-Ass(2010)

A real scatter shot affair. I'm surprised at some of the really enthusiastic reviews. And I'm not like the critics who are offended by the very young hit girl acting how she does. She may look young, but the movie plays her as a much older girl so if you can accept teenage characters who aren't really teenagers either, then you should be fine.

Otherwise in this movie, we have fairly generic action, comedy which is pretty meh and gangsters that would be cliche 40 years ago. This is all fine and dandy but it's not even up to par with the similar Zombieland, which I wasn't too crazy about either.

Picasso Trigger
½

I just came back from this and I barely remember it. Something about spies and triple agents? and uhh...nudity and some make-out scenes but no real sex! Delightfully 80s and knowingly campy. My favourite scene is the telephone company which just...you just have to see it!

Also, this has got to be the least creative scientist character in the film industry. His main devices involve strapping a bomb to something that already exists. Some of these are even flat out bad ideas! Like the Boomerang with a bomb attached to it. Ahhhh!!!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
½

Great until they team up to fight the the serial killers!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
½

My rating will go either a star up or a star down on this one once I either see it again or think about it, but this is one good grungy slasher flick. Yes, it's a bunch of kids running around making dumb decisions and even though they have names they might as well be called 'wheelchair, girl 1, girl 2, boy 1, boy 2' and such, I didn't seem to mind it as I did in Friday the 13th or what not. By the time we're down to the last girl the movie begins to take on practically surreal levels of gonzoness with elderly grandpas, leatherface in drag mask and one bizarre dinner scene. Not to mention being chased by a chainsaw is exciting any way you slice it.

Either way. Give these people reasons why they kill other that they lost their jobs in the slaughterhouse and maybe something of a push to make more than a bodycount and it would be something more. Otherwise, I'm sticking with Halloween as my favourite slasher film. I can see people really liking this one, but either I do not get it or the slasher film is just not my genre.

Shutter Island

an average thriller from the generally very above average director Scorsese. Some of this movie is great while some of it is just plain goofy.

Mind you, i'm not big on Scorsese when he goes out to do straight-ahead thrillers, I'll post my angry review of his Cape Fear once I get around to watching it again (if I ever do).

Sherlock Holmes
½

Without the stars there is no movie in this one. This honestly just one of Guy Ritchie's lad movies dressed up in period clothing with someone nonsense black magic crap tossed in from the Da Vinci Code. Outside a psuedo fun action sequence with a almost built boat, I can't recommend much. I especially hated all the nonsense of scenes like "oh looks, Watson got blown up! The tragedy!" and then have him come back clean as a whistle about two scenes later. Why bother?

For fun pulp RDJ, watch Iron Man instead. I'm begging for no sequel as the ending of the film so subtly pushes.

Black Dynamite
½

Some jokes are a bit repetitive but if it's a funny joke, tell it often. But with some wild action scenes and some of the best parody comedy..in..well..the best of this century so far, this is a really fun action comedy and shows that the parody genre still has some life in it outside the god awful Scary Movie and Epic Movie and whatever franchises.

The Legend of Drunken Master (Jui kuen II) (Drunken Fist II)
½

This is the best of Jackie Chan film I've seen at my local Jackie Chan festival. The fist fights in this one have to be seen to be believed and should raise eyebrows of even staunch non-action fans.

So where are the problems? The story is again just a paper thin deal to get Chan to do his actions. This one's also got Chan playing the child of a couple who look younger than him! He was 40 when he filmed this but yeesh! Unlike the films of John Woo, I can only recommend this for it's action scenes. ...well at least three of them. The first drunken fight reaches near poetic levels, the second one is a great bar room brawl against an axe gang. And the final drunken battle with the enemies (who have hilarious dubbed voices in the english cut).

I don't rate Jackie's films to high here but I keep seeing his movies. They are pretty hard to hate and fun when they pop in. Watch them.

Police Story 2 (Ging chaat goo si juk jaap) (Police Force II)

I've liked the other Jackie Chan films I've been watching this month but Police Story 2 left me pretty bored. I have yet to Police Story 1 or Police Story 4, but I even liked the dubbed version of Supercop (Police Story 3) more than this one.

Most people complain that there is no story in Jackie Chan films. This one is a disappointment because it's mostly story and so much of it is just police cliches and lots of talk. When it finally gets to the action it's not as fun as him and Michelle Yeoh in Supercop. During the opening credits of Police Story 2, they play the action scenes from the first film. It really makes wish I've seen that film.

L'Enfer d'Henri-Georges Clouzot (Henri-George Clouzot's Inferno)

Documentary on Clouzot's film "L'Enfer" which was never finished. It asks more questions than answers about the film but the footage is so striking and the story is interesting. It makes you wish the film was made. A must see for anyone who likes colorful surreal imagery or Clouzot. It should still be interesting even if you aren't part of that crew.

Supercop
Supercop(1996)

Jackie Chan may be the more prominent face on the poster but make no mistake, Michelle Yeoh steals the show in this one with her stunts of hanging from the top of a wildly moving van and jumping her motorcycle on to a moving train (!!!).

I saw this in a revival theater in the english dub and I found myself wondering why I was having so much trouble following Jackie Chan film. The plot bounces all over the place and I couldn't keep up with everything that it was trying to do. Some action scenes work better than others but the comedic jungle scene and the well paced ending scene will make this of interest to anyone who likes well done action.

I've yet to see any of the other Police Story films yet, but this one is worth the watch if you like Michelle Yeoh or Jackie Chan.

Mad Max
Mad Max(1979)

William Friedkin says there is nothing more cinematic than the car chase. Seeing this film in a brand new print last night makes me think the same. Just awesome and raw.

Alice in Wonderland

Another great music video by Tim Burton. Maybe it was a mistake to watch this after Avatar but this is not one of the strongest Alice in Wonderland themed stories I've seen. Give me the 1950s Disney version for better visuals (that card scene at the end of the animated version is stunning) and give me Svankmajer's stop-motion for straight-out weirdness.

In this pseudo sequel the satire on victorian society is shoved to the back plate and brought up at the beginning and at the end of the film to make way for Disney fluff that really doesn't need to have the name "Alice in Wonderland" on it. Outside some good Burton visuals (the moat with the heads as decapitated heads as stepping stones is particularly good as is Stephen Fry the Cheshire cat who drifts in and out in smoke) we get a lot of characters standing together, eye gouging and a good amount of unfunny characters (the march hare, Dormouse range from dull to annoying). The Mad Hatter is an alright Burton-Depp character and then we get to the White Queen who must always raiser her hands to walk around. I have no idea if this is a joke or not.

So it's not 1995 anymore, and I wonder if I'll ever be truly bedazzled by Burton again. I wish it was the pre-Batman years when he focused on original material more. Ah well.

Avatar
Avatar(2009)
½

Old review before I saw it: "As much as I am repulsed by Mr. Cameron's Roger Dean-art inspired variation of The Smurfs I feel that I should at least give this a chance."

After:
I went to see Avatar in 3D (my first 3D film!). While watching this I felt it was a good strong popcorn James Cameron film. Then the Navi came in and it became a meh hodge-podge James Cameron film. I can not swallow the hippie-drippie sentiment as much as I can not take in Giovanni being an evil for the sake of being evil villain. Lang however, might as well have a huge smokin' cigar in his mouth in every scene chewing bit and I loved every bit of that! Finally it comes down to what I praise Cameron for the most: action sequence. In the hands of Brett Ratner, or Michael Bay or Zach Snyder or any other horrible action film director a scene where blue people fly dragons and take out military helicopters would be too much for me to take. Not when Mr. Cameron is doing it.

For anyone who complains about it being predictable or just a visual show, or far too ridiculous, than you might as well throw your copies of Fritz Lang's Metropolis in the fireplace. Take out Sam Worthington's sort of ho-hum performance as a lead and lower your hippie-dom Cameron and I'll grant this a four instead of a 3 and a half. Otherwise, I'll be there for Avatar 2: The Last Rainforest.

Anvil! The Story of Anvil

Want to know the best thing about Anvil!: The Story of Anvil is to me? I saw in concert a year before the movie came out. And they were quite fun. They were selling copies of "This is 13" self-released when I saw them, so that puts it's in some sort of time-frame for the film.

Anyways this is a good documentary. Mostly about the relationships within the band then it is about rock and roll or concerts or even the music. Prepare for manly tears on the same high point as The Wrestler.

The Mighty Peking Man
½

Hong Kong remake of King Kong with other things stolen from Mighty Joe Young, Sheena and Godzilla films.

Sometimes it's not hard to watch or laugh at, but the romance scene is pretty damn hilarious. If you like your films schlocky and with people in bad gorilla suits this one is still apparently not even the worst Big Ape film of the 1970s. A.P.E. apparently holds that title.

Xing xing wang (The Mighty Peking Man) (Colossus of Congo) (Goliathon)
½

Hong Kong remake of King Kong with other things stolen from Mighty Joe Young, Sheena and Godzilla films.

Sometimes it's not hard to watch or laugh at, but the romance scene is pretty damn hilarious. If you like your films schlocky and with people in bad gorilla suits this one is still apparently not even the worst Big Ape film of the 1970s. A.P.E. apparently holds that title.

Breathless
Breathless(1961)

I wanted to hate your Mr. G, but Breathless lived up to any hype that was going for it. This film is pure style and with enough bubbling over that it makes such a simple story exciting and totally immersing. I can not say I followed everything you were trying to get across message wise with a first watch, but I do want to watch this again and again.

The French trailer to the film itself is quite awesome. It's on the Criterion DVD if you want to check it out!

Cherry Falls
Cherry Falls(2000)

Bad slasher with hints of attempted teen comedy. Attempt is a strong word, I think I mostly laughed at acting of undeveloped characters, lame lame lame scare effects that would have been dated 10 years beforehand. The gimmick of this one is that unlike the average slasher where sex leads to death, in this film being a virgin will lead you to be stalked and slashed! This sadly just brings up the other half of the teen comedy which is the cheap sex comedy. So the anti-cliche here eats itself.

TL;DR: Cherry Falls stinks.

Twin Peaks - Fire Walk with Me
½

This is the worst that Lynch has to offer. (Mind you, I haven't seen Dune yet).

The first sequence is just horrifically boring and makes you miss Coop from the original television series. After that its a hodgepodge of the dark moments from Twin Peaks with out half the characters (all the funny and curious ones are gone). The only new character is Laura who I was sort of waiting to die as it went on. So yep, no humor, the surrealism verges on self-parody. Did I mention this goes on for a bit more then two hours?

Black Caesar
Black Caesar(1973)

Black Caesar would be better if it wasn't trying to be a blaxploitation flick (well..the soundtrack helps, but the black and white look at racism and revenge) do not meld as well.

The direction is raw and at times pretty sloppy (with Larry Cohen attached, that makes sense) and it feels a bit rushed but I took a friend to see this with me. We weren't expecting anything, but he came out really impressed. So shows what I know.

Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior

A solid action flick. It's got a bare bones of a plot (we must find gasoline so we can use it to search for more gasoline) but it's influence and style is more strongly influenced from samurai films, film noir and westerns than sci-fi of the decade. Occasionally it's a bit too goofy and somewhat hollow but Mad Max 2 is essential watching to see that it does take more then good action scenes to make a great action film.

Bronson
Bronson(2009)

A stylish prinson film about a British criminal who has been incarcerated for years and years of violence...all in jail!

This film's arty mish-mash on how it presents it's story is alright but it comes into problems as not everything adds up to a satisfying hole in presentation. We get huge operatic pieces to 80's synthpop.

The main reason to see the film is to see Tom Hardy play Bronson which is the main highlight. There is also some nice cinematography but by the end of it all, I just do not think there is enough of Bronson's life to make up an entire film. He gets moved prison to prison, he fights people, he's rude, he finds art towards the end for no reason and he gets naked and fights people.

If you are curious, this is not a bad film, it's just not a great one either. If you aren't expecting miracles, you'll be entertained all the way through.

You Only Live Twice

Way too over the top, even for Bond. The desperation to have the cold war threat, and Japanese location shots, and villains that lead from Japanese thugs to Blofeld, and an auto gyro with rockets, and a Ninja Training School!!

It's trying to hard to please everyone and we have some attractive but generally dull bond girl on the side. Watching this a week after Goldfinger also shows how bored Connery is with playing Bond. Outiside some choice action scenes and goofy gadgets, this one's too all over the place for me.

White Zombie
White Zombie(1932)

Has some coon cinematography and atmosphere that could give Vampyr a run for it's money but too much bad acting and occasional dragging brings this down at least one star for me.

The Hunger
The Hunger(1983)

All gloss and no real substance, but hey it's not that bad. One of the more tolerable Tony Scott flicks.

Casino Royale

Old review:
It feels weird to say that I'm actually looking forward to another Bond film now...

Newish review:
I just feel that I should update this as this review is now quite dated. The only problem with Casino Royale that I can remember is that it's just too damn long. This is a 2 and a half hour long action film! But on looking back at it, this is also one of the better action films of the 2000s. It may not be the best Bond film in terms of what makes a Bond film a Bond film, but it's good spy action film, and that's what I want more of.

Goldfinger
Goldfinger(1964)
½

You know why there are so many Bond marathons on television? It's because the best way to watch the Bond films is to watch them in back to back to get some comparison to what works and what does not. I watched this back to back with Dr. No and you see the jump in quality, pace, and all the things that make Bond fans go ga-ga over this series.

You've got... the gadgets, villains, camp, humor (gun-toting grannies who work for Goldfinger are a-okay in my book), and plenty of memorable scenes which are fun to watch.

Bond only loses his cool about twice in the film: There's a jab against the Beatles in the beginning of the film and Bond's slap of the butt and what certainly looks like rape of Pussy Galore could leave a bad taste in someone's mouth.

If you are going to watch any Bond film to find out what they are about, this is the one to watch, but to truly "get it" watch it with any of the other less 1960s bond films to see why this one really stands out.

Dr. No
Dr. No(1962)
½

I've watched some of the James Bond films when I was a lot younger and none of them really sunk in. So since there's a James Bond festival running at my local theater, I decided to finally get back to them.

Dr. No is noted as one of the better entries into the series even if it is missing some points that Bond fans love (i.e.: there is no gadgetry, no Q, etc.). This is actually a good starting point of post-classic hollywood cinema where our hero Bond does as many jerk things as the villains, and beds more women then any hero from the 1950s would dream of.

Even though it's only an hour and 45 minutes, this film does keep up with new twists, fun villains, unintentional camps and racial insensitivity that is thankfully more eye rolling today then it was then. This is a fun Bond movie.

Wiener Takes All: A Dogumentary

This is a low-budget documentary on the obscure topic of wiener dog racing. This film shows off some trivia and history of the sport with some controversy over the little pups involved. The whole thing is scatter shot and despite some scattered funny moments, I can not really recommend it to anyone other than the dachshund obsessed.

March of the Penguins
½

Three and a half until I see the French version.

Bring It On
Bring It On(2000)

Say what you will but this is the best Cheer leading movie ever.

Gremlins
Gremlins(1984)
½

On watching this again...I feel the exact same way about it as I ever did. Most reviewers seem to have some childhood adoration of Gizmo (on looking back, Gizmo's a bit too cutesy with his meeps and peeps). But this is still a film where these little things get shoved into microwaves, shoot guns and wield chainsaws and die gruesome deaths. So it might not be great kid-friendly stuff, but it's still a better than average comedy-horror from 1980s.

Classic movie buffs will either love or roll their eyes at Dante's obsession with old b-flicks which are referenced constantly through out. I'm as happy as anyone to see Keye Luke do more films, but Dante has to learn that just because you reference old films, it will not make your film credibility rise any higher!

Home Alone
Home Alone(1990)

Home Alone has quite a few problems. And I'm trying to avoid my nostalgia glasses with this one. Oddly, on re-watching it, the funniest scene was the one I don't remember at all when I was a kid. The one with John Candy being part of a Polka band. Culkin is pretty bad in this and the comic timing is off all over the place. Most of the slapstick at then end came off as way more violent then anything I remember. This includes the criminals standing on nails, falling down the stairs and hitting each other with crowbars. Y'know. For kids! I remember laughing at that stuff when I was younger...and I also remember my mum, father and aunt not laughing. I kind of see why now... It even goes along well with that creepy title intro which I remember being really scary when I was younger. It's still pretty sinister now.

Okay, there are more humorous scenes other then John Candy's cameo. I like the scary furnace in the basement and even some good written product placement (Before Kevin is nearly hit by a truck, he sees the logo for "Dodge" on it. H'yuk h'yuk h'yuk). This is no one's favourite John Hughes screenplay but they are worse ones. Curly Sue comes to mind.

Quel maledetto treno blindato (The Inglorious Bastards)
½

I saw this in a theater and was first in line. I enjoyed seeing so many people line up behind me thinking it was the Tarantino flick and then heading out realizing it wasn't. For the film itself though, it chugs along at least. The characters in it are all different at least and some are more annoying then others. Lots of gun fire and explosions for a tiny script with mixed results. The best actors are Svenson and Fred The Hammer Williamson. It's got it's roots in Italian genre cinema and it shows with tons of exploitation and not much in way of character. Director Enzo G. Castellari is no Sergio Leone but I do not think anyone expects him to be. Action film and Italian genre enthusiasts will probably enjoy this but most people will not go too ga-ga over it. For it's relation to QT's film...well, if you've read the title of this one, that's as deep as it's going to go I'm afraid.

Inglourious Basterds
½

Even at it's 2 and a half hour running length the entire place of Inglourious Basterds left me wanting more. There are some great scenes and generous amounts of style and dialogue that Tarantino fans adore but with so many characters running around and being introduced at several intervals it's easy to not get into their stories enough to really feel for them and their trials. I remember reading that the original film was going to be about 6 hours long and honestly, I wish this was. I would feel more in tune with everything happening. So outside the score that involves a hell of a lot of Morricone and film references (ranging from classic Euro-cinema from G.W. Pabst and Henri-Georges Clouzot and Max Linder to trash like Eli Roths' character being named Antonio Margheriti.) If making references to old films make a film better, every Joe Dante film would be a masterpiece.

If I ever get to see a full length version of the full with the fill script I'll re-review it. As of now, this is butchered Tarantino that left me wanting more.

Zombieland
Zombieland(2009)
½

Not everything works in Zombieland, but it's still better than most all the other zombie films releaed this decade and is just a few kicks below Shaun of the Dead. A lot of thing in this surprised me as I was not going in with high expectations.

It's not quite the best zombie comedy to hit the market, but it's at least one of the best amusement park movies of the decade. I'll go see it's non-zombie equivalent "Adventureland" later.

The Last House on the Left

This is a raw film. Like rough near documentary raw. Actually, scratch that, documentaries don't attempt at style like this one does and doesn't have several unfunny comical cop duo things to soften up the rape scenes.

I saw this in a theater with an original print from 1972 which is apparently the only one in North America. It was a decent print and I haven't seen this film before. Like most horror films of the 1970s for me, it's another lackluster effort that got some sort of a cult audience somehow. It's not scary as it is trying to be disturbing which just comes off as lame to me when the film wants to have it both ways and try to find a meaning in it all.

It sounds like i'm trashing this film and in a way I am, but the film also isn't boring or made me just want to leave like it's rip-off's such as Death Weekend do. This is decent trash but I refuse to place it next to better 1970s efforts like The Exorcist or Halloween. Oh, did I mention this movie has a theme song at the end where someone sings what happens in the film? Who takes this film seriously.

North by Northwest

Over the top like a James Bond flick and perhaps even better then any films in the James Bond series. Cary has to go through just as many ordeals as Bond and doesn't need any special gadgets. His girl is more cooly sexy than Bond is too. The special effects are unrealistic, but this doesn't matter in a film as unrealistic as this.

Maybe not Hitch's best, but it's his most straight ahead entertaining and upbeat.

Friday the 13th
½

Well, it's filmed on high quality film stock I'll give it that. Stick with the original Halloween for the goods.

Il portiere di notte (The Night Porter)

As far as stories about erotic S&M-tinged relationships between a nazi and his lover/camp prisoner go, this one tries to be classy about it. As far as disturbing content in this one, I honestly wasn't too disturbed or moved. She wants to be in a relationship with this person and on looking at her, you just don't believe her as someone who is actually suffering in her camp. By the end of the movie, it just becomes an average thriller with some mild S&M romp mixed inbetween.

It takes the S&M themes more seriously then most movies with some fat arse walking around in a rubber zipper mask thankfully as they desperately get off, but other then that. Meh.

The Exorcist
The Exorcist(1973)

Mixed feelings on this one. Don't get me wrong, it's good in that it's excellently shot, the tone is perfectly dreamlike, and there are several memorable moments but overall I'm a bit torn.

I guess I can't help the pop-culture era I've grown up in so I've been seeing Exorcist parodies since I was a little kid and have heard of many of it's moments in "Top 100 Scariest Movie Scene" lists! Not to mention the gross crap I get sent on the internet. I didn't like this one as much as Rosemary's Baby who's character I felt more concerned about and who's scenes involving the supernatural felt far less exploitive (most of the scenes in The Exorcist just made me think "Regan" going to do next? rather then be worried what's going to happen with her, her mother or the priest). Half the time you don't see what happens either, the movie cops out and has plot holes such as "so what did they do after Regan walked backwards down the stairs?" or "so how did the mother get out of the room?". It often doesn't even matter who is the room because it's just a set-up for special effects to happen. A little more Rosemary's Baby subtleness would be nice. Either way, there are some fantastically shot scenes that . The exorcism of Regan is memorable, as well as the priest brief tumble.

Overall lump this one with Blade Runner for me with genre films considered the best ever that are visually beautiful but make me wish their characters had a bit more meat to them. Then again, I'm a fan of Brazil and Metropolis that have the same ranking. But Brazil is at least funny while Metropolis doesn't take itself as nearly as serious as the above two do.

The Room
The Room(2003)

I've seen this both in theaters and at home on video and I promise everyone that it's the worst film of the decade. The lighting is off, characters are given problem then immediately forget about them (not little things, topics such as drug addiction , cancer, and death).

Entering the film with the right attitude, it's the Troll 2 of it's time. The acting is so over the top that it harkens back to Deborah Reed in Troll 2 or the silent era. The live setting for the film already has it's own Rocky Horror shout-along audience while at home I missed some of the most inane script I've heard in my life. This would normally just make a bad movie bad, but then there's director, producer, writer and star Tommy Wiseau who sounds, looks, and acts like he's from another planet.

This is a classic in the so good it's bad genre. Most mind-boggling movie ever.

The Testament of Dr. Mabuse

Rooms flood, lots of explosions, hypnotism, ghosts, guns, car chases, and romance with details like "I don't care that you kill people, i love you for some reason!"

Lang's ahead his time and Dr.Mabuse feels like it could be a great Batman or Bond flick. Awesome.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Based off a stageplay and boy does it feel like it. Pans to people dancing on balconies, quick runarounds, and a story that's laughable (which is of course, part of the point.). I wish there was a bit more meat to it with the comedy (there's some very funny bedroom scenes here) and the glam-rock themed music score does have some high points.

I think without seeing it at midnight with a crazed crowd (which matches the crazed view on the screen) the movie isn't as strong on own (some parts are complete messes). If you really like this kind of stuff, I reccomend the movie "Phantom of the Paradise" by Brian de Palma which is sort of an anti-Rocky Horror.

Halloween
Halloween(1978)
½

This one's a lot of fun! I figured the synthy soundtrack that I thought would bother me actually suits the movie quite well and I see why it's so popular. The characters in the movie aren't quite brain dead as other slashers and Halloween has a good enough sense of humor to drop in a a funny moment in and out. I never felt terribly frightened (probably due to it's countless clones, parodies, and knock offs through the years) but I wasn't bored or rolling my eyes in this one. Even with Michael Myers constantly popping on and off screen. The acting is much greater than many other flicks of this ilk too.

The only bummer for the movie? Some of it falls flat in areas. These include how Michael got out of prison, (why now? why not years ago?) and simply some foolish character choices (that's right Jamie! Into the closet!).

All in all it's not a downer, there's hardly any gore and it's got some fun and memorable ideas. Halloween is the best Carpenter movie yet.

Maximum Overdrive
½

Stephen King's only directorial effort. And it shows. Even an AC/DC soundtrack can not save this one.

Big Trouble in Little China
½

I do not like Big Trouble In Little China as much as others. Like with a lot of the John Carpenter movies I see, he's got a lot of ideas and weird special effects but I'm often at loss why half these things are happening in the movie as there's never a strong or tight enough script to back it all up! For every genuinely funny movie (and there's a fair amount of it), there's an equal amount of duds. There's a lot of action and some special effects that are also a hodgepodge mix of good and bad. This is still better than many other action films from the 1980s (read: anything that starts with Cannon Films), it's not quite as memorable as I wish it was and it feels a lot longer then it's 99 minute running time.

The Waterboy
The Waterboy(1998)
½

I wrote a long description for a review for this one, but Flixster ate it. Let's sum it up with "It's Bad and I feel bad for watching it".

District 9
District 9(2009)

I liked District 9 a lot, but I didn't love it. It starts out excellently with it's documentary bit with lots of refugee comparison bits which are hard to miss. About half way through it fully delves into the problems that 80's action films have. It's Robocop without the humor or Predator with all the stuff I do not really care about in Predator. A review I read made a point these elements make it so they say that "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down". That may be the case, but I want more tasty sugar then.

This film is still a million billion times better than Transformers 2 as well as having a lot of elements from it so that's a plus. I think most of the hype on this one comes from the fact it was really out of left-field that this movie was a lot better than most expected it to be. I look forward to what Blomkamp's got in the future and I'd probably go see a sequel.

Bakjwi (Thirst)
½

For anyone asking again if "Hey! Have you seen Oldboy!?" the answer is still no, but I have gotten around to checking out Park Chan-wook finally and I understand his popularity now. This is a good serious vampire film with beautiful camera work and an interesting love story which puts the popular Twilight series to shame. Also for fun factors in this we have some nice vampire cliche broken. We do not have an entirely attractive vampire figure and we have lots of surprisingly comedic scenes.

So what's the problem with this one then? Well it's just a bit too long to try and encompass everything we have here. Their topics of religion, family, sex, and morality in this. Plus you mix in the vampire stuff and the comedy stuff...it's a bit too much for even the most popular of directors to really make into a satisfying meal. Not to mention that this film goes on for over two hours.

I'd mostly recommend the film to Park Chan-wook fans and/or vampire lovers who will probably find much to enjoy here. This is a solid movie, but it's still not going to steal the "vampire film of the decade" trophy away from Let the Right One In yet.

The Thing
The Thing(1982)

I'm being a bit generous to this as The Thing is pure dumb heavy metal butt rock that seems a bit more serious than I think it really should be!

A group of "scientists"(?) are Antarctica (the subtitle let's us know it's winter there too, if being close to the South Pole in summer is too breezy for you). Where we see the character who will be our star and who displays the best acting in the movie. It's not Kurt Russell, it's a cute doggie! Outside Kurt Russell doing his John Wayne thing and Wilford Brimley being a really ridiculous scientist in nearly every scene he is in, we have a cast of people who for the most part are interchangeable and from my audiences watch, they have their equal moments of unintentional laughter.

So it sounds like a bad movie right? Not so much! The script is really ploddy but didn't want me to leave like I did during other popular 80's SF/Horror flicks like Predator. The special effects in The Thing for 80% of the time the monster in The Thing is just a very frightening glob of a monster! What I assume a monster straight from hell would be like! Yikes Yikes Yikes! Even if you know that The Thing possesses people's bodies you just convulse and the twisted apparition that could come from them.

John Carpenter's obsessions with Westerns shows with the characters as they are all tough guys (tough scientists I think to be specific) who often make stupid decisions, drink heavily, point guns at each other and umm...rollerskate. The star is that damn monster. I got caught up with the monster and the cheap thrills of it all and was thankfully able to turn off my brain for this one. If I was in a bad mood, I would tear the film to pieces with it's script and plot motivations.

Like Leon: The Professional this is a movie kind of placed back and forth by critics and in the top 100 on the IMDb, and I can totally understand why. File this under "Best of" and once again under "Guilty Pleasures" smack next to "Leon: The Professional" for me.

An American Werewolf in London
½

Not a bad movie in any way whatsoever! It has some great unexpected and non-eyeball-roll-inducing jump scares and despite some slow patches there are some very very funny scenes such as the dream sequences, the nude scenes, and the conversations between the two Americans.

Like most of the more memorable 80's horror films it's a bit too special effects obsessed, the were-wolf transformation is alright but it has a bit too many cutaways and you really do wish you could see the werewolf walking around a bit more. Some would argue less is more, but I want more werewolf instead of quick cuts across it's face as it's eating people.

This is still one of the better Werewolf movies out there, and is good if you need your in a deep desire of carnivorous lunar activities.

Purple Rain
Purple Rain(1984)

If you don't like Prince's music or at least his goofy unsexy sexy persona, then avoid Purple rain at all costs.

Otherwise, it's a typical but very pretentious, over the top, misogynistic movie. Women are beat up and Prince goes "oh no what I have done, maybe I'm just like my father?" and then it's dropped as the woman is just an object to be beaten, rather then something that becomes important to him. This is the case if you take Prince seriously, (I do not for the record), and if you enjoy his music it's fun to see him lip sync through them as the songs, even if you aren't a fan, you probably will agree that are pretty hard to forget after listening.

Kind of like in Superfly, the soundtrack is wayyyy better than the film, but both are kind of fun to watch.

Stephen King's 'Thinner'

Terrible horror film based on the King book which goes on far too long and enters stupid land pretty shortly after the premise creeps in. Stick with Drag Me to Hell which has a similar Gypsy story but with a lot more imagination and better ideas. Then again, this one does have the actor who plays "Fat Tony" from the Simpsons, so if you want to see him, be my guest.

Bicycle Thieves (Ladri di biciclette)

Chaplin-esque and unforgettable.

This is also a good instructional movie on how to steal bicycles. The next best film on the topic is Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

The Lost Boys

Much like The Goonies, I'm going to lump in The Lost Boys as a movie that a lot of people seem to enjoy as they watched it when they are younger. I can get over how overtly 1980s the film is but it's just not..strong enough together. There's over-direction at every turn (Thank Schumacher!) and none of the characters are really developed enough. Decent enough for a quick Halloween watch, but I'll never understand it's cult.

The Silence of the Lambs

Cool movie that wasn't as enthralling as I was hoping, but I can't judge it too harshly as that could be due to the amount of times i've seen it parodied. Anyways, this one's a bit over the top for me and reminds me more of a Vincent Price films with it's over the top muggings and zoom in's on faces and escaped monster running through the landscapes at the end. The acting is better and it's fun to watch throughout. Great thriller.

Bram Stoker's Dracula
½

Get rid of Mr.K Reeves here and it's not that bad. He's not even in it that long. It's more showy then it is story and Dracula here is being far more romantic then lustful, but hey, not all dracula's have to be the same. Any attempts at humor fall kind of flat and it's a bit too long but this is still a fun enough Dracula film that I'm sure tons of people really like.

Oh and before I forget if this film didn't exist we wouldn't have the funniest Simpsons Halloween sketch ever. Super Happy fun slide!

Invasion U.S.A.
½

Feeling patriotic, I had to watch this one on September 11th. Invasion U.S.A. is as dull and generic as it comes outside a cute quip and a good action scene tossed in.

The film starts with many refugees being killed and who have cocaine smuggled in their boat. This is stolen by some terrorists from somewhere that isn't America. So let it be known that Invasion U.S.A. from here has some what I guess is a government agent coming to see Chuck Norris living in the swamp and have him try to fight this guy. A funny scene here shows the head terrorist actually have nightmares about Chuck Norris killing him. Anywho, Chuck denies the offer until terrorists attack his house and kill his..dad..friend...person. Chuck then goes in his truck vigilante style and somehow finds where the terrorist army is going to attack. This ranges from church gatherings, to chirstmas parties, to latin dance parties and kids school buses and amusement parks. Mr.Norris kills terrorist of many races while offering quips such as "I'll hit you with so many lefts you'll be begging for a right" and so forth. There isn't much more to go with Invasion U.S.A. it eventually becomes a showdown where Chuck is apparently a ninja appears and dissappearing at will. And the film ends very abruptly. Remember how it started out about Cocaine? Where did that subplot go? The film's a mess and will only appeal to hardcore Norris fans.

Bullet in the Head (Die xue jie tou)

Despite my copy having kind of crappy subtitles. (Thanks Chinatown!), I throughly was engrossed by "Bullet in the Head". The film is not as well known as Woo's other big Hong Kong flicks like The Killer or Hardboiled, and I can see why, this is a downer of a film, don't expect to be cheering for anyone like Tequila in the end.

This is also a strange film as it wants to be both a gangster film that somehow becomes a war film shortly after a bit of time. There are many brutal scenes but I was still blown away by the action (as usual with the old Woo films) and the characters.

Apparently this film was going to be three hours long but was chopped to bits in the editing room. The story still flows but I'd recommend to try to see the version with extended scenes. (which goes on for about an extra 20 minutes) to make the story make a little more sense. And to have a little more proof that this film was originally intended to be the prequel to A Better Tomorrow.

The Beyond (...E tu vivrai nel terrore! L'aldilà)
½

Despite some atmospheric visuals, I'm not on the Fulci boat that a lot of other horror fanatics are. The stories in his film's rarely make sense, not to mention for all the atmosphere he tries to create, very few of the characters in his films act like human beings in any sense! Some say this should add to a dream-like quality, but for me, I sit, I stare, it takes me out of it more then it puts me in. For example, we have a corpse that the doctors state has been dead for six years, and yet they still hook up a unit to it check for pulse. (gee, what's gonna happen?) I also liked the "Do Not Entry" sign above the door in the hospital. The dubbed dialogue continues to jab me either with groans or laughter.

So the good side? There are some atmospheric shots, the lead is actually not bad for this genre (I wish the supporting cast could be better) and it's mostly well shot. Many fans call this Fulci's masterpiece, but these gore scenes in the film still reek of cheap scares for me. Cheap junk works best in movies that try to be thrilling like Hard Boiled or Drag Me To Hell, not films that take themselves as seriously as The Beyond.

Sorcerer
Sorcerer(1977)
½

Although to some film fans remaking Clouzot's masterpiece "The Wages of Fear" would be sacrilege, William Friedkin gives it a pretty good shot and occasionally out does Clouzot's film, but often lacks in other areas.

The film is beautifully shot, there is a strong gritty 70s feel to the church scenes in the beginning and the jungle scenes towards the end. I also like how they select the drivers in the film as well how a lot of the film is spoken in a foreign language like in the original.

Now what do I not like, a lot of the characters are not as strongly developed and are slightly interchangeable which is not like in Clouzot's version. And much of the Truck stuff is quite a bit weaker, they all lack the character's changing and evolving as well those extra quick last minute gasps of excitement and surprise that are in The Wages of Fear. I also find some of the characters here turn quite bone-headed during these truck scenes.

Overall, it's a pretty decent film on it's own, but I think Friedkin kind of fell off after this. Oh, and the Tangerine Dream soundtrack is more tolerable then I imagined it would be.

Madman
Madman(1981)

This is what happens when I see free films at my local theater. I end up seeing things like Madman. Madman is a slasher flick with very little going on outside the occasional unintended laugh. Killer stalks, slashes, someone asks "who was that?" runs out to check it out, get stalked slashed, repeat for a good three times in a row.

Music is atrocious at times. Sure we have the typical cheese ball synth, but we also get this song sung at the beginning which made one audience member scream out "What the hell is going on!?". Followed by that, Mad Man Marz (yes, the title ignores that someone's last name is Marz in this) gets his own little theme song whenever he is nearby eliminating any possibly surprise or shock. Oh and he makes little grunts and synthesized laughs too. When you see Madman Marz (which is often) the rubber gloves and mask is pretty hard to miss.

Oh and I forgot to mention the long scenes of walking, it's not tense as I don't care about any of the characters, and like most bad slasher flicks you are just waiting for the killer to come and finish them off. There isn't enough to recommend in Madman, and can only be suggested for those who have need a 80's slasher flicks if you've seen all the mainstrays, all the also-rans, and now you can prepare for one of the bottom of the barrel entries in the genre.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
½

Better acting, not too mushy, story progresses better, effects are solid.
Problem? It's such an overwhelming story. I'm not a large Harry Potter fan, so I didn't follow every detail in this one, but after the 2 hour+ running time, I felt a bit winded. It's great and still better then Twilight or Transformers, but anyone who wasn't into these things isn't going to change their minds with this one.

Korkusuz (Rampage)
½

I am quite proud to be the first person to review the oh so noted "Turkish Rambo" for Flixster. What can I say about this one? Apparently Turkey was a field day in the 1970s and 1980s of re-making (or ripping off) American blockbusters with the likes of Turkish Star Wars, Turkish Young Frankenstein, Turkish Rocky, and of course, Turkish Rambo. I actually saw this in a theater too!

Plot wise to my knowledge is something based off of the second film in the First Blood/Rambo series. But with cheap cheap effects, silly lines, and...these films must have been popular because they made more of them. Turkey, your country has a lot of explaining to do about the film industry.

The Hurt Locker
½

Overtly testosterone film making by action film maker Kathyrn Bigelow. Not that it's a bad thing as it suits the film. It's hard to make a movie about bomb-diffusing that isn't exciting. You won't learn much politics on war in this war flick as it plays more like a thriller with every bomb giving a good punch of suspense from a John Wayne-esque performance by Jeremy Renner. It goes from scene to scene and not one is wasted.

Only q's, I don't really understand the situation with the small boy. did he survive? Is that him? Who was the other? That's a bit of a pickle. Overall, I think this a movie that deserves multiple re-watches.

Drag Me to Hell
½

In most horror films when you hear the ominous sound of the horror about to cave in you either get excited with tension or you get your eye balls raised with upsetting cliches. In Drag Me to Hell you get excited. Not because of any impending doom about to happen, you get excited you are about to see another exciting whiz-band of a scene. I think I laughed at every single truck load of nonsense in this one and every nearly every scene intended for laughs delivers in spades. I don't want to spoil to much for the uninitiated but I like this movie more then any of Raimi's Spider-man or Evil Dead films. If I have a few complaints (and these are very minor) is that we have poor acting from the star Lohman, which is fine as she's barely saying anything except following what's going on with the story. The other is special effects (which are also minimal) sometimes come off a bit plastic in the CGI territory. And the only other downfall is every funny scene that is supposed to happen after the great seance scene is somewhat a little tired, as the film simply can't keep up it's zany pace.

Overall opinion? This is the best (although not necessarily the scariest) horror film of the decade.

Face/Off
Face/Off(1997)

Slightly better then average American action film with two stand-bys. John Woo in my books went from sublime to way to silly with his American films often trying to give in to Hollywood pressure as well as try to inject his own style with often mixed-results. Face/Off at the best of times is kind of fun and clever and at others kind of dopey. This is usually considered his greatest American film, but take it from a fan: stick with Hard Boiled or the Killer instead!

500 Days of Summer

This could slide between a four and a three and a half. Which don't get me wrong, it's a good movie but I still have to stomach a bit of the movie at first. It's very ambitious and has a lot of good scenes. Anyone watching this movie hoping to fall in love with Miss Zooey will come out a spark dissapointed as she's quite a bummer in this one (no pun intended). But that's not what bugged me, what bugged me is the somewhat squelchy use of indie-rawk-tastic film making I get from these kind of films nowadays. I'd blame Juno, but there's probably worse culprits out there. Either way, this film makes some cute scenes from split screen hi jinx to dance numbers with animated birds. There's more to it then this, and this is still a way better romantic comedy then what else is out there getting wide-release in theaters, so go see this one if you need a good dose of that stuff.

Zong heng si hai (Once a Thief)

Once a Thief isn't as popular as John Woo's other films from his Hong Kong golden period and I can see why. Not that it's bad, which is far from the truth, it's more that it's not bloody and not as action oriented as his other films. It's far more of a feel good film with a more Pink Panther inspired vibe then a Dirty Harry one.

Once a Thief could be as good as Hard Boiled if only it's spoken parts were as great as it's heist scenes and most of the action scenes. It's not a dreary as Hard Target in the "eugh they are talking AGAIN" category, but it's just the attempts at spoken humor aren't as funny as the physical humor. (And the physical humor in this is funny in a Stephen Chow way). Once a Thief is worth watching if you've seen, and enjoyed Woo's other golden era Hong Kong flicks and want more.

Venus in Furs (Paroxismus)
½

Whoo boy. Where to begin. A movie that wants to be sexy and mysterious and surreal fails on most points here.

It's about as sexy as an episode Red Shoe Diaries, I mean it attractive women but they are all interchanable. Every single one! This is mainly due to a lack of story which fails the movie quota of "show don't tell" with the main character having to narrate most of it all the way through, and not in a fun way either. The movie wants to be surreal, but it's not good surreal in a David Lynch way which intrigues you further, it's surreal in a "grr...I hate you movie!" way. It's about as successfully surreal as let's say some of the later work of M. Night Shyamalan. (not to mention the stupid STUPID twist ending).

What's the bonus points of this movie? It's got Klaus Kinski in a turban and the Rio jazz scenes are kind of fun. But overall, this is one of driector Jesus Franco's highest rated films on imdb. If that's the case, I'll pass up this his other films too.

Suspiria
Suspiria(1977)

I'm going to upset a few people with this one, but I wasn't crazy about Suspiria. I saw it at a late night screening that after it's first death the audience winced then laughed after it cuts to a blind man walking. (with someone shouting out CUT VERSION!).

So otherwise what do we get, a lot of scenes filmed with tints of green and blue and red. That didn't enhance much for me, as I was kind of desiring a bit more story other then a few good scenes (which is balenced out with a few lame ones, like the woman falling into the barb wire. And ultimate lesson of "look before you leap".

The other thing people seem to like is Goblin's score, which I'm back and forth on. Sometimes it works, but perhaps it's just my cut version of the film but does it have to just cut off at times? Everyone in the theatre giggled every time it did that.

Overall it's alright, but it doesn't hold up to my favourites of Euro-atmospheric horror like Black Sunday.

The Time Machine
½

The Time Machine is cheesy, but a lot of fun and in the right mood, i don't feel upset at some of the stupidity on the screen like I do when watching some other 60's pulpy films. There's a lot of fun here from the great lead Rod Taylor to Yvette Mimieux vamping her way through the rest. And in pure fanboy-mode, the Morlocks are really cool. They should be in it more.

Oh, and I like how how the time machine is a sled. Neat!

Barbarella
Barbarella(1968)

A campy stab at some sexy science fiction. Weird cast. Jane Fonda is quite attractive and spews a lot of non-sense in this one as she goes through countless wardrobe changes. John Phillip Law who plays the ultra manly Diabolik in "Danger! Diabolik" plays the well...very gay angel Pygar. Other weird cast memebrs include Marcel Marceau in a rather talkative role.

Anyone who sat through and enjoyed the hilarious camp fest of films like the 1980's Flash Gordon should find a good amount to like here. With the right mindset, there's a lot of fun in these kind of movies.

Bruno
Bruno(2009)
½

Bruno for the most part works. There are big laughs in the movie but some are far too over-reaching that they can't live up to it's lofty ambitions. Meetings with terrorists are over before they start (and are shown in the commercial) and some of it looks even more stagey then scenes in Borat. For example, in one SPOILERrific scene, we have Bruno go to a swinger's party where he meets up with a Dominatrix. This scene eventually has the gay Bruno jump out through a smashed window. Funny stuff, except the camera man can follows him through the window! Too much scenes like that slow down Bruno. I doubt we'll see as many Bruno parodies and imitations as we did Borat. That's With good reason though, it's not as good of a film.

Moonraker
Moonraker(1979)
½

Bond travels the world with Dr. Goodhead and Jaws finds love. Also lasers. bew bew! Almost entertaining.

Che: Part Two (Guerrilla)

Che part two is not quite as strong as the first. We are introduced to a family of Che's who we never hear from again and the voice over narration from the first one is lost so we get some extreme attempt at docudrama. It's an ambitious one as it was in the first, but not because of an obvious depressing end, is that once again I wish more of the film could be about Che's motivations throughout and his thoughts and feelings. Or more about his family, something for the story for me to really sink my teeth in too.

Che: Part One (The Argentine)
½

This is a two part review. For the life as some one as important as Che Guevara goes, I learned really little about him. He's a doctor, a guerrilla, and a communist. He had a family and led people through various situations. For the total length of both films being nearly 4 hours, outside some beautiful shots we have a film that doesn't take advantage of it's epic running time. Certainly there is more to Che then this.

Twilight
Twilight(2008)
½

Dull actors, ever so popular "blue tinting" done in a lot films, and cheesy special effects way down Twilight as a teen romance film. I figured I'd hate it a lot more then I did but it didn't want me to pull my face off as much as let's say...Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen. Twilight actually chugs along and less valleys. It was two hours long but I never found myself aching with it's length...granted I wasn't that interested in what was going on.

All in all, Twilight is the best Mormon faith influenced vampire film ever. Until the next movie which I'll probably skip.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

There's one or two funny jokes in this 2 and a half hour mess.

Otherwise we have characters I don't care about. The male characters annoying, the female characters are either brainless or act like plain sex objects, and then the Transformers who talk like wrestlers/greek gods. At least the robots did in the first movie, in the this second one we get two who talk like embarassing ghetto-fabulous stereotypes. Haha they have gold teeth. Did I mention the body humor in the movie? Three times in the first scene we have dogs humping each other, Sam's mum slapping her mum in the butt as she walks up the stairs, Robots with penises and gigantic clanging balls. It goes on. Sure there's tons of robots pulling each other apart, robots with giant snake tounges, robots getting their spines pulled out, but if I hate all of them, why am I watching? Why am I watching this two and a half hour piece of the Michael Bay World? I want my money back.

Judex
Judex(1963)

Part great homage to french silent film serials, part wacky episode of 1960s Batman. If you are a fan of the french horror film Eyes Without a Face this has some similar moody scenes in it, but the story is quite ridiculous and is a bit to much to be taken seriously. In a way it reminded me of Danger Diabolik if it was filmed in black and white with less dull scenes of nonsense dialogue, and a slightly less goofy story. I prefer this one to Diabolik, but it's still quite a few notches below Franju's Eyes Without a Face which he is more famous for.

Lady Terminator
½

There's a difference between an action film and an exploitation film, and this film definitely fits into the exploitation racket. Starts out as some cheap asian horror story then, it becomes a scene for scene rip-off of The Terminator. Really! The "Lady Terminator" in question is a re-incarnation of some horny devil women from 100 years ago, and in one scene she re-creates the slicing of her eye much like Arnie did in Terminator, except here it makes no sense other then living up to a Terminator rip-off.

There are some unintentionally goofy lines here, one of the most popular being "I'm not a women, I'm an anthropologist" and so forth. It's funny at first but you'll lose a good amount of brain cells in the process.

On a bonus note: the women in this film playing the Lady Terminator is also credited as the make-up artist, I love the idea of her applying the zombified Lady Terminator make that appears in the last bit of the movie to herself!

Troll 2
Troll 2(1990)

So I caught this at a late night screening. Thoughts on watching as the movie progresses.

1) Well this is technically alright. They are trying to fun camera work. These people are lousy actors.
2)These are the worst costumes I've ever seen in a film. Do the Trolls/Goblins like wearing potato sacks? Or is that supposed to be their skin? Why do they keep focusing on that one ugly mask!!
3) It's teetering between the unintentionally funny and unintentionally tedious.
4)This actress playing the witch does the most over acting I've ever seen in a film.
5) END MOVIE!! END!!! It stopped making sense half an hour ago!! Arrrgh!!

In short, it's funny, brain-shattering and among the worst films of all time, but it's still not the worst film I've seen. That honor still goes to Beast of Yucca Flats. My friend said it best with "This film has possibly ruined movies for me".

Freaky Friday
½

A funny enough and better then I thought romp. Lindsay Lohan is nothing to scream about but Jamie Lee Curtis is pretty funny as a bratty teenager. Worth catching on television, like how I stumbled upon it.

Up
Up(2009)

A mild (very mild) step down from Wall-E and Ratatouille but a very funny comedy adventure flick on it's own. This movie also proves my theory that animals are only funny in films if they are behaving likes animals. When they aren't, it's strictly for pet lovers.

Children of Paradise (Les Enfants du Paradis)

The perfect screenwriting, every character is memorable, the near three hour running time doesn't even feel like it. It's so good you'd wish there was a third part after the curtain comes down a second time.

Raising Arizona
½

I don't care how unrealistic it is, this is one amusing looney tunes of a film. Every chase scene is exciting as it is amusing and Nicolas Cage didn't even get on my nerves as he usually does. They may be substituting accents for character in this one but would for such a goofy movie, would you ask Chico Marx not to talk with a phoney Italian accent? Do you want Peter Sellers as Insp. Jacques Clouseau not to talk with a phoney French one? The ex-cons out of prison story add to the runaway baby plot just as much as the Road Warrior character adds unexpected twists and curves to the film. I love it.

Star Trek
Star Trek(2009)
½

I've never seen a Star Trek film before so bare with me, but from popularity and audience standards this seems as popular as last year's Iron Man (a film I enjoyed just a bit more).

Star Trek's main points of plus here is the strong approach from Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto as James T. Kirk and Mr.Spock respectively. And they preform arguments and other sci-fi babble which space opera geeks should get a kick out of. The film is also a blister of colour without feeling repetitive or nauseating. The action and cgi didn't excite me, but I was never bored stiff or found myself rolling my eyes as i did in Transformers. If you love these kind of things go see it without a doubt. I think when I was watching it I was overthinking it as nothing really made sense in the film to a Star Trek newbie standpoint. (Why is Uhura in love with Spock? What is that Red Matter Stuff? Old Spock? What?). I'll let the fans argue about it in Klingon while I stuff popcorn down my throat during this one.

Oh also, did anyone else notice that Kirk chokes a lot in this film? Everyone is out to strangle the life out of him!

Burden of Dreams
½

May not sound as interesting as nearly every single dvd now comes out with a small "making of the film" feature, but this was the first of it's kind. If it wasn't entertaining and enlightening it would be the blame of these things.

Burden of Dreams is actually a fantastic documentary on film making and how hard it was for Werner Herzog to film Fitzcarraldo. And it wasn't easy on him, but perhaps even harder on his crew. The story of Fitzcarraldo and the making of seem almost the same with Herzog going to near insanity (at one point he starts going on about how the jungle is angry, how birds don't sing but scream in pain and that even the stars don't seem aligned correct in the jungle.) This has got to be one of the best films of it's kind on film making. Tons of memorable moments.

For All Mankind

Cool doc on moon landing. It's a bit of a disappointment after watching it that it's not all from the same trip, but it's still beautiful to watch and contraries The Simpsons's statement that moon launches are boring.

RoboCop
RoboCop(1987)

Violent, preposterous, and somehow I laughed way more then rolled my eyes. Robocop is great stuff is probably the first (and last) great movie made by Verhoeven in Hollywood.

The Terminator
½

I haven't seen this since High school, so I couldn't give it a really memorable review. The Terminator is best enjoyed on the levels of being a thriller, rather then an action film. Arnold is tolerable in this one as he's not given much to say except plain simple lines which he delivers as he should being a killer cyborg from the future. Outside Arnie here, we get sold performances around that suit the genre (despite being pretty cheezy but tolerable).

The whole movie is fun and exciting. Anyone who finds it dull was spoiled by the much larger budgeted T2. I'm not an expert in 80's cinema, but you'll be hard pressed to find a superior straight ahead American action flick from the 1980s.

Y Tu Mama Tambien
½

Sexy, funny, and real. Probably the only film that has continuous narration throughout that doesn't make the story less enjoyable. Some shots in this one are going to stick with me for days.

Frida
Frida(2002)

Well filmed, but in the long run I don't learn much about Frida as much as I learn that communists like making jokes about Communism, her husband's a jerk and Frida is a cripple who is in constant pain. This movie needs a better script that's a bit punchier and less random sex scenes suggesting "look! Frida fooled around with random women!" or scenes where the announcement of Frida's baby is immediately followed by the announcement of it's death. Then never really brought up again.

Predator
Predator(1987)

The Terminator dresses up as Rambo and goes and hunts Alien in the jungle through Michael Myers eyes. This is a terrible script and it as I stated above, it clearly cribs from other debatibly better action films. The characters are overtly masculine, not in a cool Rififi or The Good, The Bad and the Ugly way but in a big dumb butt-rock way. There's cheezy one-lines that really have no reason to be in a film like this, and the Predator doesn't really have to be an alien. He could be a slasher for all he does, the fact he is invisible becomes pointless midway through as they can either see him or he gains and loses his invincibility. Why does he have to go up and slash people when he could use his lasers and snipe from far away? Why is he killing those guys in the Jungle? Is it some sort of tribute The Most Dangerous Game?

Itt's half entertaining somehow through it's idiocy and it's better then some of the other non Terminator Arnie films I've seen. The filmed scenes in the Jungle are kind of nice and it's great you can see what's going on, unlike in Michael Bay films where you wonder who's shooting who.

Tremors
Tremors(1990)
½

Cool fun and consistent monster movie. It succeeds where the entire filmography of Rolland Emmerich fails with a modernized version of 1950's monster movies brought to life. The effects are fine, the characters aren't manically memorable but they all do their own fun things on the screen. There isn't a dull moment in Tremors and is definitely recommended if you need a good monster movie fix.

Taken
Taken(2009)

Script is gagworthy, action is typical blur-mation, the daughter we are trying to save is annoying, and is Liam Neeson's character supposed to hate women other then his daughter? He doesn't attempt to save or care about the girls who are trapped, he shoots that one wife for no reason who just sadly gets caught in the middle. So, no great action, average story, not funny, it's what people who hate action movies think of when they want to explain why they don't like action movies.

The best part of the movie is shown in the trailer with the kidnapping scene, the rest is CSI / 24 nonsense.

Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis (Khun krabii hiiroh)

Pretty bad Thai Zombie comedy film. It's very un-cinematic, awful CG, bad jokes, they often break the fourth wall, the zombies and guilty pleasures range from meh to awful. For a better time with a cheezy film, go see some slightly more imaginative flicks such as Tokyo Gore Police or Story of Ricky.

The Wicker Man
½

Totally boring in the beginning, to the point of just waiting for Nicolas Cage to do something goofy to break the boredom.

When does it get good? When the mystery develops further into pure comedy. Do yourself a favor and watch the clips online of "Best parts of Wicker Man" and you'll see what I mean.

Fans of this type of unintentional humor should also check out The Happening. Shamalamadingdong's movie

Unforgiven
Unforgiven(1992)
½

Sorry Tombstone fans, this is real last great Western of the 20th Century.

The Wrestler
The Wrestler(2008)
½

A great little film with a lot of interesting things going on per scene. Filled with humor, fantastic acting (Rourke was robbed on Oscar night) and more. I'm also glad to announce it wasn't overtly stylish but taking a more documentary approach towards it's subject. So it's no Requiem for a Dream here.

The negative? It's gets a sliver over sentimental at times getting a bit close to Rocky film series cliche. It is a simple story, but it's a well done freshly shown new story. I remember reading a good comparison, comparing a well done simple story to a classic non-electric Dylan. They are simple guitar and vocals, but what perfectly shown tunes they are.

El Topo
El Topo(1970)

I'm tossing it up between a 3.5 or a 4 for this one. I saw a late night screening (with a really beautiful print, the film looked brand new!) and I was taken aback. I'm going to agree with others when it's a meet up of either Sergio Leone and Bunuel or even Jean Luc Godard and Sam Peckinpah or...something! El Topo has some really beautiful shots in it, lots of violence, and even some funny bits. I think some of the religious overtones are a bit overcooked and feel just a bit hippy drippy instead of anything strong. Also, my god I shouldn't have seen this so late, this is a long movie that feels long. Some of the scenes could be cut. I mean, when you are making a movie as strange as this you have to be careful about overload. There's a reason why Un Chien Andalou is a short film. No one I know could really stand 2 hours of it straight!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The best of the Dollars Trilogy, but that goes without saying.

The Good, the bad and the ugly has what most overtly masculine and macho cinema lack which is slow scenes. It's not crazy all the time but when it is, it's strong. Characters are run over by trains, entire bridges blow up, men are beaten savagely, humor is great throughout (unlike For a Few More Dollars, which flunks s a few times for me). This also has a great Ennio Morricone score which I'm sure people who are not even familiar with the film recognize and could possibly recognize as cliche. Best of all, for it's length and running time, not only is there not a dull moment, but every moment crackles.

I'm ranting here, but If I ever talk about Sergio Leone from now on, I'm going to refer to him as "The Great" Sergio Leone.

300
300(2007)

Hmm..mixed feelings. Films with this much action really depend on the character, and we never get in touch with any of the characters in this as they are never developed terribly other then "we are manly man! rargh!"

When you have a movie where (spoilers!) the king's son dies, the king's wife get's raped and you don't care, you know you have weak characters. Having a narrator is fine, but usually better when it's giving inner monologue. We have one dimensional characters who have no real character flaw. Bah.

Gomorrah (Gomorra)

Gomorra is a pinch over-rated but still a strong and good crime film. One of the few that doesn't glamorize crime really at any point. Hell this is a rare film where the movie poster itself doesn't even have a character holding a gun.
Also worth pointing out is the two young punks at the beginning who like to pretend they are a real life Brian De Palma's Scarface.

The style is a bit confusing at times, jumping between stories but I think this one could use more then one viewing. All the stories are interesting but I think people (or at least I did) will focus more attention to the 20-somethings in the film.

Also, expect to hear a lot of awful (yet appropriate) Italian pop music in this film. How real can you get?

The Grim Reaper

Why do I keep attending these midnight shows? I saw this one expecting cheesy gore fest. But Anthropophagous makes little sense at times, my version had the oh so sought after gore scenes of the slasher/monster character pulling a fetus out of a women to eat it and him attempting to save himself by eating his own guts at the end. So yeah, those clips are probably on youtube so you can go watch them there. Otherwise, it's typical slasher fair, there's totally no flair at all in characters. The scares are typical cats on pianos, long shots of skeletons covered by rats, people being bitten and our killer looking like a hobo version of John Carpenter. Sorry atmosphere-fans, these films are just a lump of sugar. Having all dull as dishwater gore and no scares or characters is as bad as musical without good songs.

I doubt I'll have to see another Joe D'Amato film again.

The Wages of Fear

is it misogynist? anti-American? Probably, and that's the directors world I guess. Despite these moments, this movie really had me. I was reaching for my drink while watching and the fact i nearly spillt made me worry that I was somehow going to make my whole house blow up. Yikes!

This is one of my favourite thriller films, very tough and masculine to boot, but would have a movie want a movie any other way where the main characters are driving these huge trucks the whole time any other way?

Beverly Hills Chihuahua
½

I watched this with my dog obsessed girlfriend. On the plus side, the film is not as mind-bendingly bad as the trailer makes it out to be. It's as goofy as any other average disney live action film such as let's say "Cat from Outerspace". If anything's a downer, the main dog who is a the front of the poster is not in the movie much, you have that stupid other Paris Hilton dog (some of the materialism messages in the end of the movie didn't sit well with me).

If you can stomach talking animal flicks, there isn't a huge amount to enjoy in this, but to be fair there isn't a lot to hate. It's just there. It churns along, it's harmless, there aren't many songs (although an oddly placed version of Enrique's "Hero" made me giggle quite a bit).

Why am I writing this, no one on my friends list is interested in this movie! ARRRRGH!

Raiders of the Lost Ark
½

How can +104462 of you out there not be interested in this. what's wrong with you folks.

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
½

Despite it's cliches and lack of depth in it's characters, Star Wars is a lot of fun, full of every film stereotype it's still pretty fun to watch. A good amount is eye rolling but it's certainly superior then the lamely eye rolling parts in some of the later sequals. So yeah! Star Wars is good fun but I think it changed what people were looking for in movies, the begining of the blockbuster and a good (bad?) template for severla movies afterwords.

Watchmen
Watchmen(2009)

Hey guess what, I didn't care for the Watchmen.

Special effects are a step backwards as my friend stated, as well as faceless character babbling on about who's killing off the watchmen one by one. Some ideas are interesting but never explored. I have the feeling with this one as I did with the other X-Men films, too many things in this pot. The only character who I was somewhat interested in "The Comedian" is killed off immediately, and seems to be on the only one doing things with a trace of character. Otherwise we have Rorsarch as a guy in a blobby mask that would give Batman's voice from The Dark Knight a run for it's money, Dr.Manhattan who I think more people will remember had a blue penis then anything deep he's trying to convey, the Jupiter character who's there to be someone to have sex with and to go "Wow we're on Mars!".

I'm still not impressed with the director take on action scenes, nor am I really taken by this whole lot. For something with such a hardcore fan base, I'd honestly stay stick with the novel. Perhaps, Terry Gilliam is right, the story is unfilmable.

Stuck
Stuck(2008)

Here's an odd film from the director of Re-Animator who I have to admit, I haven't been paying attention to his career since that film. Stuck is a thriller that as the poster suggests a man get lodged into a the front window of a woman's car who consistently blames him later for getting her into this problem.

Some parts in Stuck are good, there are some decent thrills that I won't spoil, some comedy that kind of works sometimes, other times falls flat. Perhaps if we got to know the characters better or if it had a more stream-lined vision, we could get a better movie. It lacks to memorable performances as well that Re-Animator had with Jeffrey Combs as Dr. West and David Gale as Dr. Hill. On the bright side, it's not too preachy. I wonder how this story would've faired in the hands of someone such as David Cronenberg.

On a personal note, I saw this on a weird triple feature.

Stuck
Metropolis (Fritz Lang)
Re-Animator

What a weird mix.

Re-Animator
Re-Animator(1985)
½

It's not a scary film by any means, nor is it a by the numbers Romero wannabe Zombie film (thank god!). Re-Animator is splatter pure and simple, but while still being splatter it still knows it's more important to suggest then show it all in one go. It's plot makes the Bride of Frankenstein seem like Wild Strawberries, but Re-Animator is more concerned with being goofball, being cheezy, but never eyeball rolling with the script. The best points involve Jeffrey Combs and David Gale hamming it up to perfection. I can't admit to wanting to watch it over and over, but this one is worth seeing for splatter purists who don't mind something that still has a story and a few fun characters.

Fun fact: I saw this in theaters recently! The man hosting it noted that this was the only print of the film available in North America. How wild.

Blade Runner
Blade Runner(1982)

I've seen the (what is it...third cut now?) most recent cut of the film and I thought I'd give it some re-evaluation, and for the most part I liked it slightly less, the acting sometimes slips up (especially through the boss replicants introduction scene), like another great 80's sci-fi "Brazil", the movie sometimes makes you wonder what the motivation of half the people in this movie to go anywhere is but luckily also like Brazil, the world is so glorious and strange you'll gladly follow them anywhere.

But one final nail to make me lower it a bit is this terrible "romance" sequence between Harrison Ford's character and this female replicant complete with the worst part of the Vangelis soundtrack.

I'd be less harsh on these parts but if this is the third cut Mr.Scott wants to sell to fans, he should've at least gave Vangelis the getgo that "saxophones = terrible romance scene".

Despite this, it mostly works through out, cool visuals, and gets less silly and more interesting as it progresses. Pure eye candy that makes you stare at the some of the worse fuzzy looking models of the now.

Heavenly Creatures
½

Here's Peter Jackson's turning point. This is a sad, exciting, well shot scene. The last scene is really intense with Jackson surprisingly able to hold himself back from being far too obvious. The clay-figurine fantasy land is also beautiful not to mention the girls encounter of being chased around by Orson Welles after seeing the Third Man.

I Know Who Killed Me

Silly Silly Silly!

You know those bad Italian Giallo films that are style and atmosphere but contain acting so silly and such third rate stories with tons of cheap "erotic" moments? Well someone looks like they tried to bring it back. Most of Lohan's lines are downright silly, I giggled at least 10 times while the game of "count the blue" is equally chuckle inducing. For a movie that tries to be sexy, having your star not even take off a mild amount of clothes makes this a really hodge-podge for an R-Rated film.

Did I mention that the story is dull as hell?

Coraline
Coraline(2009)

Bratty Coraline gets tossed into fantasy land like so many other girls before her in a Alice in Wonderland style.

Annoying ghost children and no real developed characters aside, this is a entertaining fantasy yarn that I enjoy more then A Nightmare Before Christmas, I guess even making Monkey Bone can't put some people down.

Yes Man
Yes Man(2008)

Why do people like Jim Carrey again? I saw this at an early screening and I don't think I laughed once.

However, I did like before the screening that they played a trailer for a Harry Potter film which when advertised to be released in July people let out a collective "Awww!" from the audience. Then in Yes Man, the film makes fun of people for being Harry Potter fans. Awesome.

JCVD (Van Dammage)

Saw this as the first half of a double feature with John Woo's "Hard Target", also starring Jean-Claude.

1. Good news: Jean-Claude Van Damme acts fairly well. I'm guess it's a language, sometimes his physical mannerisms are a bit strange.

2. Bad news: Not everything works. There are good spurts of creativity, other then JCVD I don't really remember the other characters names or what they do. But the good spurts are still quite nice when they hit. Just remember that this is NOT an action film. Perhaps with a better director, this could've been not just the best JCVD film, but a great film in general.

If you like the idea of Jean-Claude being in a film that attempts new things and want to hear him talk clearly and well, act. This is worth seeing at least once.
If you want a stupid Jean-Claude Van Damme cheeze fest, stick to Hard Target, his best movie of his ilk.

Hard Target
Hard Target(1993)

If I'm a fanboy for anything, I'm a John Woo fanboy. Juvenile no?

I saw this with a double feature for JCVD. That's a lot of Van Damme. And who boy does swapping Chow Yun Fat for Van Damme make the movie reek of cheese. John Woo should not be allowed to film fist fight scenes. Van Damme's slow motion kicks and punches are super dull, but not as dull as the first half of the movie with people talking, not to mention the brief homophobia and sexism.

Then the good parts! The graveyard scene? Great action (Van Damme isn't even in this part. Yay!) The Mardi-Gras warehouse? Awesome! I even forgot Van Damme has a mullet at this part (note that his mullet isn't really shown on that DVD cover). Van Damme punches a snake to knock it out in this movie Hilarious! The main part is, the script as bad as it is knows how to treat Van Damme. By giving him as few lines and as simple words to say as possible. He's no Chow.

Seeing this in a theatre, a lot of people were dancing when "Born on the Bayou" was playing at the end credits. I had a way too good of time for such a mixed-bag of a movie. Best Van Damme flick. Mediocre John Woo action movie.

Dangerous Liaisons

If you like frothy period films about Rich upper class doing naughty things in powdered wigs, you'll like this!. Malkovich is really good in this.

Keanu Reeves is also in this, but he thankfully has about three lines so he is ignorable from then on.

The Happening

Guy: We just lost contact.
Marky Mark: With who?
Guy: With EVERYONE!!!

Five minutes later, they are watching tv and receiving contacts with everyone.

Add a laugh track to this and it's a pretty amusing movie.

Versus
Versus(2000)

Low budget. The poster or dvd covers don't suggest this but it was filmed entirely in the woods. No real plot to speak of, not just a bunch of film cliches but even more anime cliches.

If a live action fanboy version of anime sounds up your sleeves go ahead, all others avoid this over-rated 14-year old's wet dream.

Tôkyô Zankoku Keisatsu (Tokyo Gore Police)
½

No real characters (that women on the front from Audition I think barely says any lines in the movie), not much of a plot (one that has to be divided into brief commercials for "happy razor blades" for and other ads on that promote suicide. I usually hate gore movies, but I didn't quite hate this one. Why? It's so damn weird!

I'm going to try holding back but for a movie with the general idea of "when people are shot, and lose a limb a virus in them makes a weapon grow in that area where the limb once was.) My god...they just ran with the idea. This is a very kinky, strange and of course gorey film. I can't say I completely hate it, it's not to different from the Resident Evil films which I did hate, but this one at least amps up the goofy factor while stealing ideas liberally from David Cronenberg and Paul Verhoeven. So yeah, it's Resident Evil (with no real plot but they do attempt at some satire here!) no real non-cliche characters, but...I'm at a real loss of words for this one, if the title interests you. Go see it.

Kataude mashin gâru (The Machine Girl)

Yep. I saw Machine Girl on a double bill with Tokyo Gore Police.

Machine Girl is like a more comedy oriented tribute/hybrid of Planet Terror and Kill Bill then it is anything else. The horror isn't scary, the action is tame (with often awful CG, those throwing stars? Yuck!). I remember laughing foolishly with the audience but I can't really remember over what despite some gory scenes. If the poster has you, and you've already seen Kill Bill and Grindhouse and want some, this is a lesser but still pretty good diversion.

Mad Detective
½

A bit to confusing when ti shouldn't be. It's different enough from other cop films from China as well, so that's a plus. Cinematography wasn't as clean as I hoped, but this was still an interesting enough curiosity.

Ne le Dis à Personne (Tell No One)
½

Pretty enjoyable thriller. Nothing really new, some twists and turns in the middle are good even if a bit heavy handed. The ending sadly is a standard person "and now I will explain to you what happened" scenario which I end up finding as a cheap way out.

Worth watching if you need a good dose of a thriller. Good acting, well filmed, and has a good amount exciting scenes.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Somehow the bad voice acting in this one makes it more charming. Go figure.

Religulous
Religulous(2008)
½

I'm not against the views in the doc, but most discussions about religion in documentaries are rather bad. Maher tackles really easy targets, the ending speech is felt like propaganda and paranoia rather then informed.

His message of religions being the cause of much of the world's problems is an interesting one, but when he meets people who profit over it like the priest with lizard skin shoes it's a good jab, but when he meets the truckers who meet at the trucker church it's just mean-spirited. Their lives seem happier that they can do this, so who are they harming?

Stick with Borat.

Man on Wire
Man on Wire(2008)

Fun doc with eccentric memorable lead "character". Maybe a sliver too long, but very entertaining. I wish the extra characters had a pinch more individual personality.

Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS

Well every scene has either torture, sex, breasts, and sometimes dialogue.

It's never really boring at least, and I didn't hate it like I did with other trash films like Death Weekend. This is one of the more enduring exploitation films.

If you have any level of taste, you can probably guess from the title alone that this movie isn't for you. For trash lovers, well, why haven't you seen this?

Rififi (Du Rififi Chez les Hommes)

Everyone's said everything there needs to be said about this crime thriller.

But no one brings up the wild acting of the child actor at the end of the film. He's awesome.

The Thing with Two Heads

It's not funny, not scary. The same cars crash over and over. The special effects are weak often with a plaster head. And it ends with a plan that doesn't make much of any sense. If Rosey Grier's character is supposed to not be a criminal, him holding around people at gun point isn't really going to convince anyone the wiser. Overall it stinks, but it's still probably one of the better films about head transplants in a blaxploitation setting. This movie was shown on a double-bill as the second half, and it really shows.

Jackie Brown
Jackie Brown(1997)

Fans of the Rodriguez side of Tarantino will be upset, but this one's a good quiter character driven crime thriller. There's even a generally sweet romance build in it. Biggest complaint? The whole thing is so long!

Secretary
Secretary(2002)

Funny and occasionally pulsatingly romantic as well as deeply dark. Secretary is a funny movie with huge S&M themes. Sometimes it became a bit much but since it's so funny in weird and quirky ways I loved it. I could watch it again and again.

My Winnipeg
My Winnipeg(2007)
½

Docu-fantasy from Guy Maddin is in my opinion his best film yet. I don't think it'll change anyone's mind if they dislike him but it makes Winnipeg a rather fantastical place.

Topics ranging from frozen horse heads stuck in the Winnipeg Red River, Manitoba's "If Day" in 1942 (google that one), Ledgeman, Citizen Girl, a tree growing in the middle of a street, seances, swimming pool built above a swimming pool built above a swimming pool.

If there's a problem with Guy even with his visual style he still tends to break the "show them what's happening, don' tell them" with his narration, but he balances it out with a lot of funny moments and just bizarre Winnipeg history. I want to see this one again. Best Maddin film yet!

A Fistful of Dollars (Per un Pugno di Dollari)

A great, but not excellent Western. The morricone soundtrack, and Eastwood performance boost it for me. Not quite everything works, but worth watching more then once definitly. The intro especially set me up for excitement at least!

My Dad Is 100 Years Old

I like Guy Maddin a lot, but this one sort of stumbles for me. Maybe a tribute to Neo-Realist director with such a surreal style is in bad taste, but there are a lot of cheap pot shots at other Hitchcock and others comes off as off putting, was Rossellini really that great because we can point why we think others weren't as good?

Has some high points, seeing Isabella Rossellini portray all these characters is a trip, especially her Chaplin who all the directors proclaim their love too. Rossellini declares him an angel and he sprouts wings and flies away.

Sounds good, but overall this is more self-serving Maddin then a good tribute to Roberto.

Metropolis
Metropolis(1927)

I want to see the full version now damnit! Fix it up faster!

Cat People
Cat People(1942)
½

Finally saw this one TCM!

I'm in love with Jacuqes Tourneur horror flicks, and this is easily his best and can rank up there with some of Hitchcock's best romantic mystery-esque films. Highly reccomended.

Le Sang des bêtes (Blood of the Beasts)

I really think only a card carrying member of PETA could give this one a 5. So is this the most artistic as well as the hardest shockumentary ever made? The only documentary along with Night and Fog that made me turn away in horror more then once.

Forbidden Planet

It's nice to see a sci-fi film that takes place in the future where things are actually going well for the human race.

Forbidden Planet has is also way ahead of it's time feeling like it could've been made at least ten years later, and with a pseudo-serious script that the film sort of loses itself in towards the end. It just feels like a great episode of 60's Star Trek, Robby the Robot is a lot of fun, and well...it's definitly not a feminist feature. Still some great 50's sci-fi.

Airplane!
Airplane!(1980)

Just watched through again. I sort of miss having Laugh-a-second comedy working as well as this. The film slows down a tweak at the end, but it gives a good break from the laughs. If only any similar followup could be as good as this one!

Jigoku (The Sinners of Hell)

Cool it's like a Japanese Mario Bava (and a bit of John Woo melodrama thrown in for good measure). Often there's great imagery but the acting the story that keeps on hinting that the "Hell" scenes are coming struggles and is so obvious and in your face. Things like people who get killed by a car ride then yell at the driver and tell who they are before promptly dying isn't good story telling.

Worth it for the really over the top exploitive ending that'll stick with me for a while. If i ever have to urge to watch Jigoku again on DVD, I think i'll end up skipping the first half to jump quickly to jump to the point where they jump straight into hell.

I'd only recommends Jigoku for the final scenes in Hell and anyone who's got a curio for Japanese 60's horror films.

Mad Love
Mad Love(1935)

This one's a lot of fun with Lorre!

I kind of like how at the end I assume that Mr.Orlac probably still goes around throwing knives at people after the credits roll because that really didn't get resolved did it?

The 400 Blows (Les Quatre cents coups)

I'm going to avoid name dropping things like "French new wave" and such and describe the film as some said it to me.

"It's like Degrassi Junior High if Degrassi Junior High was awesome and French and had better music."

I'm inclined to agree.

A Bucket of Blood

Kind of obvious but still sort of fun with to watch the Beatnik talk. Maybe if the whole thing was about Beatniks...

The Dark Knight
½

Early screening tickets are best. I can see myself droping this down to a four stars later, but in the mean time this is probably the best super hero flick I've seen. No more review for now to avoid spoilers.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Hellboy 2)
½

Ahhhh C'mon Del Toro!! Be better!

Del Toro still can't act action, Hell boy and some enemies I don't care about trade blows and it's not terrible but it's not great either. The movie flip flops all over the place to some troll village.

There's some comic gags along the way that are amusing, but after we have generic villain, generic princess, more then enough "well why didn't they do that in the first place?" moments, and ...what everyone wants to see when they go to see Monster/superhero films typical romance that glugs it up at times.
Selma Blair needs some acting lessons for these kind of films.

On the plus side there's some good monster work here with some fun imaginative creatures occasional surprisingly fun bits of comedy at times. Abe & Hellboy getting drunk is a lot more funny on film that it is on paper. Del Toro still stands best outside the hollywood system, I keep hoping a more Pan's Labyrinth or Cronos type film from him then these kind of things.


All in all, I have a weird feeling I didn't even like the first Hellboy as much as I rated it. Time to re-watch!

Sin City
Sin City(2005)

Enjoyable but the Clive Owen story came off more goofy then the others.

Death Weekend (The House by the Lake)

Bad bad bad canadian rip-off of Last House on the Left. What triple bill I had that day with this, Rituals, and The Silent Partner.

Honestly the only thing I liked is the cool car chase at the begining with the gear-head girl outriding the idiots redneck soon-to-be-rapists. That's fun and exciting. As soon as they get to the house where the gang later finds them, it's the gang being loud, obnoxious and smashing things. They bother people, threaten to rape and attack and kill. It's not scary, it's just kind of disturbing without any thought provking or anything. This movie is really mean-spirited and expect you to enjoy idiotic loud people just do anything. Even the characters your supposed to root for just sort of stand there. No shocks, nothing exciting, produced by Ivan Reitman who would later do Ghostbusters and Kindergarden Cop. Big yuck.

Only gets one star for the idea that the film's first 10 minutes with the car chase is fond 70's nostalgia. Otherwise avoid at all costs. Even if your a gordhound there's little real gore in this, you get more gore in a Tarantino flick that's more fun and if you need your quota of "CANADIAN NUDITY" for the month watch Silent Partner which has it and doesn't make you feel sorry for who ever has to get nude for the most part.

Rituals
Rituals(1977)
½

Hoo boy it's bad. A canadian rip-off of Deliverence without any twist at all. Four doctors go into the woods and generic arguing goes inbetween. Nothing really seems to happen.

Umm. I learned from this movie when you find your friends head on a stake the normal reaction is to scream and and swing the pike around and fling your friend's head off a mountain.

Only thing I mildly liked is when it reminded me of camping trips I've taken in Ontario. But as a film, you are so much better off watching Deliverence. And for nostalgia, I should just really go back out in the woods in Ontario again...

The Silent Partner
½

Saw this at triple-bill midnight show to celebrate the day before Canada Day!

This was the best of the three. It's a slightly mixed up film but it's both intentionally funny and then unintenionally funny without runing it! All cast members bring in a strong enough performance that the villain can dress as santa as the begining to rob a bank then again later in drag and still be a good satisfying villain. How many movies can do that without being lumped into so good it's bad territory?

A quick warning. This one has a bit of random violence that seems to come out of nowhere at times and could be disheartening but compared to the other really awful exploitation films I saw, this one feels as threatning as let's say...The Red Balloon.

Dead of Night

Considering it's reputation it was slightly dissapointing, but then again most anthology films are. One story is never strong enough in comparisons to the others. I think I prefer Night of the Demon or the Haunting for my classic UK horror fix.

Pretty good I guess overall. Some of the stories are a bit too twiglight zoney for me, like the first, the second's kind of a more poor turn of the screw type story. The third mirror story is more interesting even if it sort of rushes towards the end. I think I enjoyed Chaulders and Caldicott from The Lady Vanishes more then others as one becomes a ghost to bother the other about a lost game of golf. The last is the most popular of the stories about a case of double personality between a dummy and a ventriloquist. Followed by a conclusion that's the most fun (even if it ends on a "just okay" kind of note).

A lot of the stories in this omnibus have been told better, but considering how poor most horror anthologies are in the first place, this is maybe a pinch below Kwaidan, but a speckle above Waxworks. And better then the roger corman ones.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Delicious spoilers ahead:

Pros:
? Indiana Jones is back and even Shia LaBeouf can't slow him down.
? Almost every action scene works fantasticly in this film, I can only think of one or two small parts of action scenes that dissapointed. None reach the level of quality that will have a scene parodied to death like the giant rolling ball in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Cons:
? Unlike in the first film, even the talkier parts sometimes come off a bit too...iffy in delivery but by the end (or rather before the end) I was buying it.
? If you guessed Aliens you were right. Thankfully the aliens are only seen as much as the Ark is open in Raiders so they are there for tiny blips.
? I didn't really care about the family reunion with a character from Raiders, nor did I care about the Villain as much as I did as the one from Raiders! I wasn't rolling my eyes at any of them however...well, not more then once anyway.
? I really don't like Indiana Jones as a pappy.
? I really miss Indy's dad.
? I get that Spielberg is a dad now and loves to show it off in films but I don't really care about that marriage scene at the end nor that some characters have children. There's at least three scenes of this being important and only two scenes of whip cracking...come on!!

I realize the cons out gross the pros in this, but honestly it's Indiana Jones. This film is mostly action which is exciting (minus occasionl but minimal sketchy CG and that horrid sword fight). But only the harshest of critic would make a huge deal about these three minute things.

It'll satisfy cravings for a new Dr.Jones adventure but only if you are looking more for something to fufill sequal fashion. The original is still the best!

Edit: On a point from my friend, the special effects that I already thought looked a bit fuzzy will be even more fuzzy in ten years so I'm going to make this lose a notch.

Beauty and The Beast (La Belle et la bête)
½

I haven't seen a lot of early french films but do all the actors still feel like it's the Silent era and act accordingly?

This one's pretty steep in melodrama but for the story of Beauty and the Beast it's fairly appropriate. The romantic nature of the film is at just right the level and some of the special effects and sets reach real dream like levels (beast's make-up beats Lon Chaney's wolfman for sure.)

Fantastic costume fantasy, but I'm going to agree with Garbo. I don't think I'm spoiling anything by telling you the Beast tranforms into a Prince at the end but when you get the Prince, you are sure as hell going to miss that beast.

The Lady Vanishes

A fun hitch film, and amongst his attempts at comedy in his pictures, this ones ranks as the most amusing.

I'm knocking it half a star though as during it approaches the end i'm totally confused about that Nun character switching sides. Is that for amusement? or confusion? Or how about that musician who gets strangled?

These things aside, this is one of the most enjoyable thriller flicks from the 30's. Reccomended!

A Clockwork Orange
½

I don't quite like itas much as my flixster companions. Bitingly hilarious with an excellent love/hate leading role.

My only complaint is the utter fuzz of the message throughout. I knew it was there sort of bubbling under the surface instead of kind of waiting for you to sort it out yourself like in Kubrick's other sci-fi piece 2001. I think for a novel like Clockwork Orange to really present itself with it's message rather then Brazil-like quirkyness we'll need a (I know some flixster friends are going to disown me for sayin' this but)...we'll need a more straight-forward story!

Regardless, it's dead-funny, great ideas, I just wish I didn't feel as emotionally torn at the end instead of feeling as emotionally devistated like I was with 2001.

The Maltese Bippy
½

Hurray! A comedy horror with no horror and no jokes! I still dont' know what a bippy is.

Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten
½

Some good footage, and even though I love the Clash not all of it immediatly grabbed me on his life story, even if he did come off as a bit of an opportunist.

My other big complaint is: who are half the people in this movie? There's no caption giving you at least the name of half these people who'ved aged. I mean, should I have known that was a member of the Slits until she mentioned it half-way through? Two clips of Bono is too much as well by the way.

Gun Crazy (Deadly Is the Female)
½

Picking up that Noir box-set was the best idea ever.

Gun Crazy aka "Close-ups of peoples faces the movie" is a raw but surprisingly really fun crime thriller. You only get one chance at making a movie called "Gun Crazy" so you better make it good, and these guys definitly did.

Spider Baby
Spider Baby(1968)

Lon Chaney Jr. sings the theme song to this movie! You know you are totally up for some super-b fun stuff when a movie starts like that.

Wild Zero
Wild Zero(2000)
½

Silly, low-budget, yet very very rock and roll. Somewhat like Night of the Living Dead meets Rock and Roll High Shool in Japan. If that sounds like a good time then dig in, all others...what's wrong with you, what makes you think the above doesn't sound like a good time!?

The Simpsons Movie
½

Enjoyable as any of the better simpsons episodes, but not quite the best.

But considering it's a homer-centric plot, and I don't get tired of him throughout the film then they finally did something right. They should really stop the show now and concentrate on making a movie once a year!

The Orphanage

blah blah there aren't any good horror films anymore blah blah fooey!

In the 90's that may be true but we've averaged out at least one or sometimes two damn good ones a year in this decade.

Despite this haunted house flick doing the whole Turn of the Screw, Haunted House (not limited to nods to The Haunting, The Others, and The Innocents). Countless "long hallway" scenes that are so utterly cliche and things that happen for the sake of happening that come off as somewhat cheap red-herrings.

But as another thing, this is probably the only horror movie where I've felt really sad for the main character as well as terrified. Something I can't say any horror film has done, so that's sublime film making on it's own. Bravo!

Ninja III: The Domination
½

An incredibly bad 80's american martial arts flick with cops who are probably the most moronic cops ever.

This films also features:
Ninja who kill at golf clubs for no real reason (not limited to punching through a car to strangle someone, digging into the ground to hide, and taking a several bullets in them to finally die.)

- A man with probably the most hair shoulders and back I've seen in my life.

- Specials effects for the sake of special effects not limited to flying swords, laser eyes, ninjas who drill into the center of the earth, evil video arcades that shoot lasers and smoke, and other stuff that left my brain sore.

- A mind numbing synth score and the worst new wave songs I've heard in my entire life.

- And my favourite of all, attempts at erotic use of V8 Juice that made my jaw hit the floor.

For those without taste this is a gold mine of awfulness that is never boring. All others who have taste should be tipped off by something titled "Ninja III: The Domination" alone.


It's still better then Meet the Spartans.

The Third Man

Great visuals, great acting all around even though Welles is remembered the most in it for his role.

Carol Reed was no slouch of a director even though he's not really an absolute beloved director like Hitchcock or Henri-Georges Cloutz or other thriller film directors. But this is still probably one of the greatest happy accidents in the movies, a film where everything really smacks together with a tight script, an ace all star cast, and simply, and entertaining story. I didn't quite get as enveloped as I hoped with it, but It's still essential Noir. A must see!

Into the Wild

Slick adventure docudrama. Mind you it's long, and slow paced, but hey this isn't Andy Warhol's Empire or anything and not a minute is wasted.

But if I have on gripe is, even if it's based on real life character, they totally glorified him into infinity. I mean, was he really a college graduate piano player tolstoy quoter who everyone from theives, his family, local yokals, and average elderly folks adore? Whenever I know someone who offers me their Tolstoy to read I don't admire 'em, I want to give 'em a swift knock to the head!

Thankfully, little shakes like that don't ruin it, this is still one to see.

Meet the Spartans

I guess I can't really justify my hate for the writers or directors of these films without seeing them. Thankfully, I didn't pay to see this, so the creators dont' get a cent from me, nor do they deserve it.

The film looks cheap, the sets seem tiny and cramped. That wouldn't matter if the comedy was good but it's not even that it's terribly unfunny, it's just rushed and incomplete. Give five years and these will be about as funny as jokes about oh let's say...King James the Third. Remember him? Probably not unless your a buff at these type of things. These jokes aren't timed well, unless you are surprised after the fifth time they decide to throw the celebrity of the week into the pit, then I guess you might find it funny. I mean, I love silly humor, I still kill myself if I pop in Hot Fuzz or Monty Python or even some of the more weak Zucker-Abhrams-Zucker flicks. But in this one, even if these are really modern jokes about transformers, paris hilton, 300, and all the other hits but in this movie they have to explain where these jokes are coming from, insulting the audiences intelligence in the process. I mean, can we guess ourselves that the Penguin is from happy feet? or the Spider-man women in black is Venom from Spider-man 3? (And I didn't even see that movie!). Not to mention how many of these jokes are repeated, if you've seen the trailer for this movie you've honestly seen the jokes that lie within. It's just repeated endlessly!

I'm not even going to go into the homophobia and sexism in the movie which could've been a mildly overlooked factor if we had some good jokes to follow up. or at least well delivered ones.

Even if you are afraid of older films, and when I say old I mean even before 1990 for you kids, you are even better watching Scary Movie which wasn't even that great in it's process either. This movie's the equivilant of writing your essay on 2007 pop-culture 5 minutes before you have to hand it in. Big thumbs down.

Cloverfield
Cloverfield(2008)
½

Well, at least it was better then Transformers. Maybe I'm harking back to the days of Them! and such, but why are these Giant movies so over bogged with teen romance subplots? Bah!

Best shot and still probably a pot shot in this monster-flick is (spoiler!) the first glance outside the apartment where everyone is which mimics some popular shock of the Twin Towers falling some odd 7 years back (much like how the movie Godzilla must've felt to the Japanese audience who say it seven years after the Bomb dropped on them). The live video cam helps cover that ground again too even if it's not quite strong as the "being there" feeling that Blair Witch Project had years back.

Still, it's got some solid giant monster action, but lack story and character telling finese that others previous giant monster movies of the decade (in my opinion Peter Jackson's King Kong and Joon-ho Bong's The Host).

Also, Cloverfield should really simply called "The Terrible Thing", anyone who's seen the flick should gather what I'm about.

Persepolis
Persepolis(2007)
½

Not only gives that animated rat flick a run for it's money for the best animated film of the year but it should give Juno a kick in the teeth for the most interesting female teenager in recent memory too! More to come later.

Planet Terror (Grindhouse Presents: Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror)
½

A very fun slice that's probably the perfect combination of John Carpenter and George Romero styled film making.

Juno
Juno(2007)

Despite the fact I'm definitly not a Kimya Dawson fan (her music is so totally tossed all over this film that it gets grating for me), this is a pretty darn enjoyable and fun flick.

If I had only one gripe with it, it's that Juno is such a little spark, but...geez I watched transformers believing there are giant robots spitting out nonsense but I can't get it into my head that out there there's somewhere there's a 16 year old girl with a great sense of humor who loves some Hershell Gordon Lewis and Dario Argento.

Regardless, this is mostly a blast, reccomended for fans of Ghost World.

The Blair Witch Project

I'm nearly ten years on finally getting around to this one.

Let's face it, the people complain about 80's slashers but what did the 90's have? Really nothing. It was the ultimate gulch for horror flicks. Then in 1999 we have an incredibly hyped movie which I think ruined it for a dozen viewers who grew up on gore flicks, which is depressing as flawed as this is, it's one of the most original horror flicks I've seen since Haxan. And it's my favourite kind of horror flick too where you see nothing, it's left for your own imagination to swim around be scared stiff.

The shakey camera in documentry fashion is dizzying, but unlike the shakey-cam that's haunts every action thriller these days it's appropriate and didn't make me want to turn away. Only other knick is the main actress gets a bit annoying, but this is small bickering. There's a lot of memorable scenes in The Blair Witch Project, it's got scenes that i'm still thinking about it since I saw it yesterday.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood(1994)
½

Since my main gripe about Tim Burton is that he's all sheen and no real character in his movies I'm sort of mixed on this one. Since it's a biopic on manic cult director Ed Wood and since any movie dork knows all the tits and tats about Ed Wood, it sort of supplements the real character development. Althought like any Burton movie it usually says Johnny Depp in big letters somewhere else on the poster the real star of this movie is Martin Landau doing the end-of-his career Bela Lugosi. Since I'm a sucker for early pulp movies I think I could be swayed a bit, but this is really the only Burton movie I think is as good as his rep.

Alien
Alien(1979)
½

Great! It's like if 2001 had a scary horror obsessed younger brother who dabbled in 50's sci-fi as much as it did in Kubrick's world. I'm not scared by monster flicks sadly, but this is still a whole lot of fun pulp.

The Golden Compass
½

You never have to agree with the message of the movie or the politics behind it to enjoy a movie. I mean, would I rate Triumph of the Will zero stars because of what it's trying to say or five stars because it's an incredible movie?

The Golden Compass on the otherhand is a real hodgepodge, slivers and hiccups of good ideas happen but hampered by unexciting characters, fantay stock characters, and well, I was giggling at half the things in this movie.

All the posters I've seen of this movie have promised me Giant Polar bear battles. There's one, and it's great fun, but it's also sadly the only real hilight I found. Stick with the book!

Dellamorte Dellamore (Cemetery Man) (Demons '95) (Of Death, of Love)
½

I'm wary of most Italian horror flicks that seem to lack in story to make up for more atmosphere, pointless gore and well, tons of random nudity to mix in.

Cemetery man somehow does the above but I'm going to give it a bit of a leaning curve as it does have a bit of a story at times that about half way through can't stay straight or interesting. Some jokes are great some sort are just there and remain...kind of plain.

If you have the desire for some of that Mario Bava/Dario Argento styled italian horror nonsense then I'd reccomend this over any random z-grade fulci flick due to simply this has better acting, some decent humor, "some" story and still has those visuals some of you starve for (not to mention an interesting soundtrack that sounds like Goblin jamming with Morricone. Either way, enjoy your exploitation and fat-guy sidekicks.

Transformers
Transformers(2007)

Michael Bay by now you should know better.

The camera moves around so you can't even really make out what kind of excitement is supposed to pulling you in, lighing is average to bad per Michael Bay, product placements galore. Most of the human cast becomes unimportant half way through the movie.

So if you are going to see this, turn off your mind, relax, it's a Michael Bay flick.

Batman & Robin
½

The whole cast seems genuinely embarassed and they scuffle out these lines.

I'd love to say that Arnie shoots out some bad puns related to Ice as Mr.Freeze, but half of these aren't even puns. It's along the lines of "Kiss my Ice".

A few days back I watched the '66 Batman movie. Yeah, it's campy, but it's still written better then this. Hell the 60's batman is a hoot for a good long while, I never want to see Batman & Robin again.

Black Moon
Black Moon(1975)

Saw this right after Malle's superior "Murmur of the Heart" and if the plot basicly leads from what seems to be a post-apocalyptic war between males and females (!!!) leading to a girl into some alice in wonderland type house with a bedridden mother who is fed breastfed by her daughter, naked children scampering about, and a unicorn running around. It's a very very slow film, a bizarre mish-mash of Eraserhead and some fantasy and a Bunuel film I suppose.

There's no continuity, but that's not what upsets me. Some parts work but honestly this thing is way to damn long, so back and forth, some imagery is moving, some isn't. If you need a good taste of the weird and arty, take a leap in if you haven't already seen the classics in that field. All others avoid.

Baadasssss!
Baadasssss!(2003)

A great movie that is better then the film it tributes. It's not the late 80's or the early 90's anymore but this is probably the best piece of new african-american cinema I've seen from this decade.

Murmur of the Heart
½

Shocking and surprisingly very intentionaly funny as well. A film surrounded by a 15 year old incestious relationship in a french new wave style should be dullsville or maybe too much of a prickly pear to enjoy but this one somehow works throught it all. Just part of the fun of messing up your sleep schedule and watching Turner Classic Movies in the middle of the night.

13 Ghosts
13 Ghosts(1960)
½

Average William Castle b-horror flick, I've heard it's still better then 2001 remake. That gives low hopes of enjoying that one...

Cape Fear
Cape Fear(1962)

Peck and Mitchum are good and disturbing (but never enough to feel exploitative as it's all implied) kind of noiry thriller.

Definitly not a feminist flick as the girls are there mostly to run and cower away from Mitchum, but with the great score that sets the tone this one's still a winner and i'm interested to examine Mitchum's other must-see flicks now.

The Host
The Host(2007)

Not what I expected when I first gathered upon it in theatres. It's a really strange film without being exagerated, the comedy works on and off, the cast works pretty great and the monster looks great as well.

A large warning however, do not walk in expect a Spielberg-esque sci-fi thrasher like I'm sure many have, the movie has a really really loopy flow and it took me off guard. But even though I left the theatre confused, I knew I wanted to see it again.

Lat sau san taam (Hard-Boiled)

Definitly needed a dose of this after seeing that awful Resident Evil film.

Picked this up in a bargin bin after falling in love Woo's "The Killer". This one's quite good but as The Killer plays as a fantastic crime and action film, Hard Boiled is an excellent action film, and a sliver below for a crime film. Either way, this is highly recomended, but I can't really say if it's for the Umbrellas of Cherbourgh crowd.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse
½

Well where to start.
Zombies linger around forever with quick cut editing so you can't tell what's going on. For horror junkies there's no gore, but that's not the main problem here, this film pretty much hits every cliche, Within the first 15 minutes we already have a scene of...
Boss: "Raise the levels!"
Flunkie: "But sir, if we do that...it wil...
Boss: "I said do it!"

This happens twice very close to each other. Also, so..is Alice some sort of superhero? She seems to have pretty pointless unexciting powers of basicly spider-sense with her danger, and the ability to uhh..run down a wall.

Oh, and the black character acting stereotypicaly black for comic relief way to go. Not to mention how every important character has an accent, a staple of writer Anderson that he seemed to pass down from the first movie.

Yeah, this flick just blew. Big yuck.

Day of the Dead

So damn talky. So many pointless characters. So much swearing, so many random jump scares that double as "oh that was just a dream".

Why on earth some people consider this one their favourite of the series I'll never know.

Superbad
Superbad(2007)

Great, but raunch comedies like this aren't meant to be this long! Better then American Pie, not quite up there with Dazed and Confused or Animal House.

Paprika
Paprika(2006)

Delicious! The film's story is a bit confusing and parts don't make sense at slivers of a time, but the sheer visual rush and energy bubbling under the visuals give this film a spark.

Also, on seeing this in a theatre, the film melted on us, it felt like part of the movie. Super exciting!

Sicko
Sicko(2007)

Sure Michale Moore does like tossing blame upon Nixon, shows several shots in the begining of just people crying, and what not. But he's taking notes, he stays behind the camera for the longest I've seen him do in a long time. He's less jokey, but still isn't afraid to show Bush saying slip-up things.

One of the less biased Moore reports.

Evan Almighty

There are actually some great Comedians in this film, but they just get no jokes to say. watched it with a few people who put it on a projector at work. I don't think I laughed once. I think I cracked a smile at one point. Maybe.

Judgment at Nuremberg

Just saw this on TCM, has no one on my friendslist seen it? Depressing!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
½

Has good enough moments, it's fun to compare it to the first couple books. But by which such huge lulls of nothing happening, the only scenes I really began to like and remember were the early Court scenes and everything after the Weasley brothers come in to crash the boredom that became hogwarts

El Mariachi
El Mariachi(1993)

Regardless of it's low-budget, this is still a fun action film where Rodriguez doesn't just deal with explosions or people with huge guns. He has the talent to take a really simple story but add enough humor, fun and surprises to make it stick and be memorbale.

Probably not a great piece of art, but really fun in a classic John Woo kind-of-way. Then again, the above actually sounds much more great then any art I can thnk of!

Ratatouille
Ratatouille(2007)
½

Charming, warm, well natured, well aniamted, funny, and even if a few lines of it don't quite meet up, it's still of a solid emotional impact. Furthur proof that the only really great animated directors we have in a slew of awful animated family films (usually about animals) are Brad Bird and Miyazaki. Of course, me saying something like that makes me no worse then the snooty critic in the film. Hmm...

The Passion of Joan of Arc (La Passion de Jeanne d'Arc)

Joan vs. the Fat and Elderly Church Royals!

I'd go on about all the great things in it but It's all been said in done.

Land of the Dead
½

Somewhat of a mix of classic zombie film making with some MTV styled horror for good measure (luckily, there's no mindless heavy metal soundtrack). It's pretty darn good in the begining but bythe time we're getting through the later bit it just turns into any other zombie movie...good while it lasts though!

Enter the Fat Dragon

Enjoyable early kung-fu comedy from Sammo Hung! Plot is thrown out half way through, but when Sammo is on top he's practically s good as Mr. Hulot.

Knocked Up
Knocked Up(2007)

Rauncy, amusing, immature at times and then suddenly mature and touching (see the Father and son early scene for example).

If only more american mainstream comedies could be this well throught-out and good.

Solaris
Solaris(2002)

Am I alone on this one? I've seen both the russian film and this one, but it must be stated this isn't a re-make of the previous film.

Them!
Them!(1954)

The Ants look silly but this is one of the more exciting and fun of the 50's giant *anything* craze. Plus, they kill the giant ants with Flame Throwers. Awesome!!!

The Descent
The Descent(2006)

Kind of a let down on how everyone said it was terrifying! But definitely exciting. Highest Recommendation for a modern day horror film. I'd watch this over any of the Saw movies any day.

Paura nella città dei morti viventi (City Of The Living Dead) (The Gates of Hell)

Strictly for italian horror enthusiasts, silly scripts, confusing story that doesn't grab your attention, annoying annoying child. Fulci Addicts dig in, all others avoid.

Stay Alive
Stay Alive(2006)
½

Ouch. Big ouch. By the numbers Teen horror flick with no thrills, and even less spills when you really are expecting and wanting them! The script is goofy enough to have Frankie Muniz toss in a couple swears (hehe! aww.. :) ).

I'd like to note that in ten years when all the video game references are outdated, this will be glorious camp for videogames who get tired of their Play Station 4.

Curse of the Golden Flower
½

Even a lesser Zhang Yimou' film is better then a lot of the other films coming out of Hong Kong in this theme.

Prepare for Melodrama by the way.

Koroshiya 1 (Ichi the Killer)
½

Man, I was horribly dissapointed by Ichi. Not that I was expecting a big splatterfest like most people relate the film with (it isn't really, minus a couple scenes tossed for the "why not?" theory), there are some pretty neat things (my favourite being the smack-addict who somehow squeezed himself into his own tv-set as his room is full of feathers). But overall...there are so many parts that are far and inbetween that are interesting, some questionable acting, and even more loopy story that doesn't drag, but just simply doesn't go anywhere. Ichi is still probably worth watching at least once, but if this is the best of what Miike has to offer, I'm kind of dissapointed by this cult director...

Black Sunday
Black Sunday(1960)

Barbara Steele is like a female Bela Lugosi equivilant. This film is difficult to watch due to the Italian style at the time of dubbing all their films over for different markets, but the visuals in this film give Murnau's Nosferatu a run for it's money at times.

2001: A Space Odyssey

I somewhat like the huge debate on this film, mainly of people claiming it's "nothing happens forever! slow slow slow, 5 lines of dialouge max in this movie" which...yeah, i have to admit can be bothersome if you are not in the right mood (not saying "woo! get stoned and take the trip bra~") or anything, you just have to sit still and just take it in, and for me, well, that was enough.

Danger: Diabolik

Goofy kind of 60's action comic book film. Plot revolves around Diabolik stealing items and having sex with his gal..for the basic thrill of it I guess. Really awful script and about twice as long as it has to be but I do have to admit, i'd love to live in Diabolik's pad.

The Old Dark House

James Whale I love you, can I be in your movies?

Grindhouse
Grindhouse(2007)

Just saw the early preview yesterday.

Planet Terror is a fun enough cheezy zombie flick with some inspired moments. While Death Proof is all the way white knuckle thriller! Death Proof also gave me one of the best film endings yet in a movie i've seen in a while.

Night of the Comet
½

So, I saw this at a Midnight Showing on Friday (where I was lucky enough to scrape in some early Grindhouse tickets!) and the projecter showed reel 3 before reel 2, so I was in for an even more amusing experience.

Glen or Glenda?
½

Pull the strink!

And y'know, I still question Airplanes, clearly not in mind with the creator at all. Damn you Ed Wood for questioning my belief system!

Children of Men
½

I dare Alfonso Cuaron to make a bad film anytime soon. I dare him!!!

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Y'know, despite the sillyness of it all, with problems that have been repeated endlessly as in-jokes, this is one of Ed's "better, yet still awful" films of his "classic" period.

The Beast of Yucca Flats

Alright, how can anyone on my friend's list have Not seen this Tor Johnson classic?

Shaolin Soccer

It's been said, but make sure you see the uncut original Hong Kong version. The english version of the film is heavily chopped up.