iceagecoming's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Her
Her(2013)

original. it works. but i was kind of bored during the last act. wish it went deeper.

Blue Jasmine
Blue Jasmine(2013)

loved it. it just flows.

Fruitvale Station

great acting all around. michael b jordan and octavia spencer are excellent. just wish it was a little more raw and edgy. felt a little overly-sentimental and lifetime-y at times. recommended. maybe just rent it.

The Canyons
The Canyons(2013)
½

reminded me very much of "the room". i wanted to like it. but then again i think i've hated everything bret easton ellis has been associated with.

Silver Linings Playbook

i would marry jennifer lawrence

Detention
Detention(2012)

it was just so awful in every way that i couldn't help but enjoy it. it has 393939 whip-pans, on-screen text and references. references! references are in and of themselves funny, right? right? (crickets chirping) WINNING! who doesn't love that garbage?? TWITTER!

Django Unchained
½

like kill bill, the style overtakes the substance a bit. but also like kill bill, quite entertaining in a way that only tarentino films are.

Smashed
Smashed(2012)
½

engaging portrayal of addiction without the typical you're-tearing-our-family-apart melodrama. winstead is excellent and aaron paul is my favorite person of all time.

Bug
Bug(2006)

intense and gripping. friedkin's films may be wackadoo and imperfect but they make for an unforgettable viewing experience.

Dark Horse
Dark Horse(2012)
½

is todd even trying anymore?

The Master
The Master(2012)

Worth seeing. Probably more than once.

Compliance
Compliance(2012)
½

Never ever have I seen so many people walk out on a film. About a 2/3 of the way through a man sitting behind me announced, "This is the worst movie I have ever seen!" At least a third of the audience walked out. At no point did I want to walk out or even miss a second. At one quiet point towards the end of the film I felt complete dread and fear. Anything eliciting this sort of reaction deserves at least 3 stars.

Killer Joe
Killer Joe(2012)
½

Wackadoo! That said, I was never bored.

Chronicle
Chronicle(2012)
½

Clever and creative

Showgirls
Showgirls(1995)
½

I miss 1995. With the exception of that horrible rape scene, this movie is awesomely bad. Elizabeth Brekley is perfectly awful. #ThashingInTheWater

Footloose
Footloose(2011)
½

I kind of loved it.

Young Adult
Young Adult(2011)

Loved it. I'm a sucker for anything that pokes fun of the midwest. Plus Charlize is hot and hilarious.

Horrible Bosses

nice cast, nice setup then just kinda gets into binded in an obligatory plot.

Mommie Dearest
½

Faye Dunaway gives it her all, dammit!

Insidious
Insidious(2011)
½

have there been any genuinely scary american films released in the last 20 years? the only one i can think of is the sixth sense. #StutteringStanley

Pootie Tang
Pootie Tang(2001)

Ebert said it best: This film is not in releasable condition.

Super 8
Super 8(2011)
½

i enjoyed it. although it derailed (get it?) a bit in the 3rd act.

Zookeeper
Zookeeper(2011)

I didn't see the movie per se, but I did see the trailer.

Due Date
Due Date(2010)

a joyless, unfunny rip-off of the much superior "planes, trains and automobiles".

Ghostbusters (1984 Original)
½

funny, original and kinda scary. finally people can stop saying to me, "oh my god! you've never seen ghostbusters?"

Never Been Kissed

One could question why i watched this with high expectations. One could definitely question that. Did someone fish this script out of John Hughes's dumpster? And why was John C. Reilly so obnoxious? So many questions.

127 Hours
127 Hours(2010)

danny boyle's style + james franco = gold

Obsessed
Obsessed(2009)

formulaic crap. but that's what i expected and that's what i was in the mood for. so on that level, i suppose this film succeeded.

Who is Harry Nilsson (And Why is Everybody Talkin' About Him)?
½

cool, cool guy. i'll add him to my list of 7 people i want to meet and do coke with in heaven.

Up
Up(2009)
½

much better than most pixar films. unique and quite beautiful. no horrid race-against-time bullshit like most pixar films to stress me out.

Blue Valentine

superb. michelle williams and ryan gosling are beyond perfect. full of subtle details that gives the film a very raw and rich feeling.

Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work
½

entertaining and personally inspirational.

Black Swan
Black Swan(2010)
½

a fun, hypnotic combination of ridiculous and intense. mila kunis owns my heart. i like this film a lot but i feel like aronofsky is re-using a lot of the same devices from his earlier work for the same effect #IntenseLastShot #GrittyTrackingShots #VariousOtherGimicks

Post Grad
Post Grad(2009)

a ginormous piece of shit. underdeveloped and just a piece of fucking shit. oh god. oh god. you don't even know.

I Love You Phillip Morris
½

i hated the first 2/3rds. but by the end, i hated it less. "great review, jeff!" -no one.

One Hour Photo
½

predictable. plus it had that loud, obnoxious moonlight sonata-y 'something eerie is happening' score. i'm tired of it!

Easy A
Easy A(2010)

despite its crazy-conservative ideology and john hughes-y high school world, it was oddly enjoyable.

Trash Humpers

boring. and yet another plastic baby doll? weird old people singing? almost a parody of korine films.

The Town
The Town(2010)
½

thrilling and entertaining but in no way urgent. i'm about urgent movies lately. a little too live free or die hard what with all the shooting shooting and then more shooting. did i mention rebecca hall is wonderful? i'm most certain i did. if you wanna know how i really feel, read roger ebert's review. he's spot-on.

Wolf
Wolf(1994)
½

so jack nicholson and michelle pfeiffer and james spader agreed to be in this movie because...huh?? $$$ i suspect. it was not cute. i feel asleep.

The Karate Kid
½

predictable but decent enough. jaden smith is a fine young actor.

The Last Song
½

right out of the factory and into my home. i told t that it kind of sucked to which she replied, "of course it would. why would you even watch that?!"

Blood Simple
Blood Simple(1984)

contains hints of later coen greatness. gotta respect it for that.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
½

inventive, fun. i mean, his enemies turn into coins when he defeats them. how can you not love that?

Life During Wartime
½

happiness-lite. nowhere near as funny or dark. yawn.

Winter's Bone

like prancer... but much more devastating. loved the atmosphere. gray, bleak. the little girl in this film acted like a real little girl. odd that i've never seen that in a movie before. well i suppose that girl in sherrybaby was pretty real.

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

tash and i just put this on in the background for the heck of it and we could NOT STOP watching it. to borrow the cheap critic quote from the movie poster, "it's home alone times five!" christina applegate and joanna cassidy (brenda's mom from six feet under) are great.

Doubt
Doubt(2008)

the great performances from streep, hoffman, davis and adams make this film balls-out superb. i must say, the cinematography and set design worked so well together that i could almost smell the church. i grew up as a part of the catholic church and this is balls-down insanely accurate.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

the concept was twisted. the content was like any other modern horror movie i've seen. if i wanted to be frightened, i'd watch sex and the city 2. sjp... yikes!

The Box
The Box(2009)

i really enjoyed this movie. a fun mind trip. i'm puzzled why it's considered one of the worst of 2009. perhaps a bit preposterous, but i felt there was a guiding hand throughout the whole thing that never lost me.

The Hot Chick

i guess you could say it's not fair of me to rate this movie considering i only half watched it in the background while reading magazines. but my peripheral vision and my half-open ears did not like what it partially sensed.

I Love You, Man

these judd apatow-ish projects are getting way too lazy. they're just coasting now.

The Safety of Objects
½

pretty bad and easy to make fun of, but ultimately enjoyable.

28 Days
28 Days(2000)
½

sandra bullock nailed the role but the film peaked after the first 10 minutes. i would have liked it to be more gritty and raw. the "touching" stuff was pretty bad. i don't ever want to see a rehab film with kooky characters EVER AGAIN! TID TIND

Fish Tank
Fish Tank(2010)
½

i didn't know where it was going and that made it exciting.

A Single Man
A Single Man(2009)

its style and soaring score don't quite make up for what it lacks in an uneventful plot. some scenes were pretty intense which i suppose is what happens when every other shot is a close-up. like i said, some sequences have some real power and for that i give it 3 stars.

The Room
The Room(2003)

it's completely horrible and awesomely bad in every way. not sure what i loved more... the actor who gets replaced in the middle, the unresolved subplots, or the way Tommy Wisaeu (the director/writer/actor/producer) writes the female characters. "women? women just confuse me."

500 Days of Summer

i'd say it's just another generic rom-com crowd-pleaser but it thinks it's better that that which makes it even more annoying. and does anyone find zooey deschanel cute? no? i thought so.

The Ugly Truth

this was just the worst thing ever.

Zombieland
Zombieland(2009)
½

i didn't think i could laugh again after my divorce but this was a really fun and funny movie.

Jennifer's Body
½

a little genre-challenged and ultimately insignificant but i didn't hate it. it was kinda fun. i mean it was raining outside. what else was i going to do? sit home and play nintendo? get up and eat something? watch some tv?? j's bod was more fun than my typical thursday night. although i did miss the nbc thursday night line-up. i can just catch it on hulu tomorrow anyways.

Full Metal Jacket

it's good but not kubrick-good. i wish he would have f'd with the audience a little more. loved the music, though.

Drag Me to Hell

good, campy fun. sometimes the camp borders on just plain silliness, but hey. you'll still enjoy it. you'll laugh, you'll jump. oh and, don't bring the kids.

Rachel Getting Married

jonathan demme + anne hathaway + realism = gold

Wendy and Lucy

<3 breaking and very real.

17 Again
17 Again(2009)
½

it wasn't horrible. but if you have any interest in seeing it, just rent it.

Adventureland

nostalgia is a sad concept and i think this film is aware of that. i liked its downbeat tone. the characters and situations felt very real. jesse eisenberg is really good (when isn't he?). it's a much better-made film than superbad. people wanting to see another superbad are gonna be pissed.

Dark City
Dark City(1998)

a fun, stylized mind trip. it reminded me a lot of the matrix and metropolis.

Gran Torino
Gran Torino(2009)

it's overly-simplistic but nowhere near as offensive or clueless as american history x. clint should put a little less of himself in his movies. that song he sings in the end? don't even get me started. clint is not as great as he thinks he is. but i must say the film did pull me in and kept me engaged and for that i give it 3 starzzz.

Yes Man
Yes Man(2008)

the dated premise is weak and the humor is lame, but i didn't hate it. probably cuz i wasn't expecting much. was it worth 9 dollars? a HELL to the no. and, although this doesn't really affect the quality of the film, i noticed some of the shots were out of focus for no reason and a couple of scenes were underlit. wtf? isn't this a big budget hollywood film? how can that happen? and if you're looking for a sound bite, as you often are, here it is: say no to 'yes man'.

Pineapple Express

it's pretty funny. a little loud, but funny.

The Wrestler
The Wrestler(2008)
½

like any decent person, i hate pro wrestling. but mickey rourke is great and his performance is what makes this film engaging. you know, i've never liked marisa tomei. and for the love of christ, evan rachel wood is just shit in anything that she does. i'm so negative lately.

Milk
Milk(2008)

Although it's a timely and well-made film, I tend to find most biopics tedious and devoid of genuine emotional power. 'Milk' was no exception. In other words, it was kinda boring. Seeing this film on so many best-of 2008 lists reminds me of what a shitty year 2008 has been for films.

Slumdog Millionaire

wow. this film is really something else. go see it.

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

an entertaining, well-acted film. if the story had more layers and clever surprises, it would have been a stronger film.

Bound
Bound(1996)
½

the story pulled me in and there was a great use of tension.

Live Nude Girls Unite!

i feel like i've seen 34829304 documentaries about unions and they are all the same.

Persepolis
Persepolis(2007)
½

the first half is great, the second half is good.

Alien
Alien(1979)

this movie had a great use of sound, visuals and suspense. in other words, it was tight.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

it's more magical than i dared hope! it has a plot (like the first HSM) and an untamed crazy-hilariousness-dancing-wonderfulness (like HSM2). it probably has the weakest song offerings of the three films, though. but it's still amazing.

Thelma & Louise

i'm re-rating this film and giving it a higher rating this time. my original critique of this film was that it was good but too plot-driven to have any real replay value. but as i think about it, there's a lot about this film to really love:
1) thelma and louise have a great, developed relationship which is so good it looks effortless 2) the cinematography and music really captures an era and a lifestyle 3) it has a way of effectively critiquing patriarchy without bashing men which is quite a feat, no? 4) these characters are sympathetic in a way that we rarely see in film. they do what they do out of desperation. they're just victims who decided not to deal with the bullshit and it's quite liberating and powerful.

Imitation of Life
½

this movie didn't know where it wanted to go. it's like a slightly less annoying version of spanglish.

Basic Instinct
½

this is a hard movie for me to rate because i enjoyed how cheap and unintentionally hilarious it was. so in a sense it's a one star movie, in another sense it's like 4 stars.

The Piano
The Piano(1993)

the ideological implications of this movie kind of offended me. but it was pretty powerful and well-acted... so, three stars it is.

Baby Mama
Baby Mama(2008)
½

i'm not saying that tbs made this film, but it's the exact kind of film they would promote 234829908 times with little one-liners until you just wish flanders was dead.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X Files 2)

i liked it. just seeing mulder and scully on the big screen was worth the price of admission.

Mamma Mia!
Mamma Mia!(2008)
½

wretched. like an annoying local community play. it had the cheapest choreography i've ever seen. if you like feisty broads and fat crowd-pleasing jokes and annoying shitty abba music and bad lighting and a plot that is overly-simplistic and a rushed dumbass ending and shitty singing voices of aging celebs (pierce and meryl) then whatever. fine. go see it. what do i care. i'm sick of having this fight with you every night!!!!
also, when we went to amc they said they didn't give student discounts anymore. and then BOOM. she gave me the ticket. 10 dollars. 10 dollars?! and then she was like, "yeah, the theater is pretty crowded. you will probably have to sit way in the front." and then we did sit way in the front. but that was only because there was no where else to sit.

Housesitter
Housesitter(1992)
½

nothing about this movie works. i hate when movies think they have charm but don't.

Sex and the City
½

although it's littered with cliches, lacks bite and is way too long, i kind of didn't hate it. the voiceovers are unintentionally hilarious. we laughed at it, not with it. i couldn't help but wonder...why do tv shows always get dumbed down when they move to the big screen?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
½

i didn't feel the magic...probably cuz it wazn't there. i've gotta agree with peter travers of rolling stone, "i'd trade all the paranormal mumbo-jumbo and cutesy computer-generated prairie dogs for scenes that connected the characters on a human level".

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

it's not as eye-opening or informative as it thinks it is. the private investigation stuff seemed like filler. no mention of sweetback?? the filmmaker could have done a bit more research. also, who edited this film? some kid from mctc??

Citizen Kane
Citizen Kane(1941)
½

people in class said that they expected more from what afi has named the greatest film of all time. i didn't feel that way at all. i had high expectations and they were exceeded. i both admired AND enjoyed kane.

Into the Wild

i loved this movie. it wasn't as profound as no country, nor ambitious as there will be blood. but out of the three i enjoyed this one the most. the flaws of this film (most notably: penn's overuse of film lyricism) didn't detract much from its overall brilliance and insight. this was clearly a personal film and i could feel it in my bones.

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days
½

the long takes in this film superbly capture devastation in a way i've never seen in a film. i respected it more than i enjoyed it.

Juno
Juno(2007)
½

i watched this movie again and put away all my snobbery and decided that i was a bit too harsh the first time around. this film was a lot more enjoyable the second time because i loved juno's character much more. juno's parents are excellent.

Gone Baby Gone
½

gone baby gone was on a lot of year-end top ten lists and i don't see why. this felt and looked more like an episode of law and order: svu than a film. the directing was choppy and amateurish. better luck next time, ben. seacrest out.

Blade Runner
Blade Runner(1982)

t says blade runner is the best sci-fi movie ever. i think i agree.

No Country for Old Men
½

a blood-soaked opus dripping with tension.

upon second viewing, i've decided to bump up my rating (by half a star). 2007 was a year of outstanding american films and this was one of the very best.

There Will Be Blood

p.t. anderson displays a newfound maturity and discipline in this stunning film about capitalism and merciless greed. daniel day-lewis gives an outstanding performance. i think jonny greenwood's "rite of spring"-esque score will divide audiences, fascinating some and irritating others. i personally thought it worked well in creating a unique tone.

i'm not sure if everything in this film worked. the religious zealotry aspect and the conclusion of the film are up for debate. i need to see it again because i feel like i'm giving nothing more than a first impression.

i initially touted anderson's boogie nights and punch-drunk love as masterpieces but after multiple viewings i've since changed my opinion.

i admire this film's ambition but i wouldn't feel right calling it a masterpiece...at least not yet.

Enchanted
Enchanted(2007)
½

an amusing, smart meta fairy tale that simultaneously cherishes and playfully pokes fun at disney's old school classics. amy adams is perfect, but i wish disney would cast people of color in bigger roles. this film felt really "white."

Futurama: Bender's Big Score
½

a disappointment. the greatest thing about futurama is its innovative and insanely hilarious humor. there's only hints of it in 'big score'. maybe it will take some time for the show to find its footing again. maybe the movie format doesn't suit the show. i don't know. i hope the next one is better.

Baadasssss!
Baadasssss!(2003)
½

you bled my mama, you bled my papa, but you won't bleed me.

Southland Tales

the most incoherent, obnoxious, maundering piece of fuck i've ever seen.

Female Trouble
½

truly tasteless... which i suppose is the point

Waitress
Waitress(2007)

fine performances from the cast help buoy the unremarkable script

Spanglish
Spanglish(2004)
½

a dishonest, sour, confused film with unlikable characters. or put more simply: it's motherf'in annoying.

The Darjeeling Limited

typical wes anderson fare. his formula is effective but i'm not gonna let him get away with it next time.

Julien Donkey-Boy

the first time i saw this i thought it was an ugly, pointless film with an intent to appeal to no one but guys who wear dresses while biking in the winter. i watched it again today and i have a new respect for it. all the bizarre pieces somehow fit together and create a surreal, haunting impression. it's not a particularly enjoyable film but it's definitely daring and original. that's something at least, eh?

Hocus Pocus
Hocus Pocus(1993)
½

i saw this for the first time last night so it doesn't have any nostalgic appeal. it just seemed silly.

Dan in Real Life

unfunny, safe and annoyingly sweet. carell is too good for this nothing movie.

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song
½

i can't stop thinking about this...it's alive in a way nothing else is or ever will be. bam!

The Nightmare Before Christmas
½

looks cool but lacks feeling. the songs aren't anything to write home about and the person who voices Jack is bland.

American Dream

heartbreaking and powerful. seek this one out.

The Big Lebowski
½

a strange, entertaining mess. best line: "i hate the fuckin' eagles, man!" don't we all?

The Lives of Others

compelling and powerful. i still think pan's should have won the oscar.

The Host
The Host(2007)

a thrilling, awesomely original horror-satire film.

Superbad
Superbad(2007)

the plot is bizarre but the dialogue is hilarious in a wonderfully immature way.

The Notebook
The Notebook(2004)

i'd reccomend this to people who like bad movies.

The Simpsons Movie
½

lacks the originality and subtle humor that makes the series so great.

Hairspray
Hairspray(2007)
½

huge fun! pun intended. it's full of energy. go see it you hams!

Storytelling
Storytelling(2002)
½

solondz has some sort of strange gift. all of his films are gripping in a way only solondz films can be. this is probably my least favorite of his films but i still liked it. the second section was better than the first.

Annie
Annie(1982)

a terrifying, awful film disguised as a cute children's classic.

Georgia Rule
Georgia Rule(2007)
½

toneless, depressing, unfunny and just plain ridiculous. garry marshall is incompetent.

Ratatouille
Ratatouille(2007)
½

great animation, great characters. the story was a little lacking.

Cruel Intentions
½

this was worse than i remembered it. the plot is crap and it thinks it's nastier and smarter than it actually is. but i must say, it's fun to watch buffy talk dirty and snort coke. oh, and the ending is amazing. cause it's a bittersweet symphony.

Live Free or Die Hard

loud, ridiculous, but fun. like a lot of recent releases, a little too long.

Die Hard
Die Hard(1988)

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

Exotica
Exotica(1994)
½

gripping, strange, intense. the more i think about it, the more i liked it. emily knows her movies.

Sicko
Sicko(2007)
½

sad, eye-opening...loses its steam about 3/4 of the way through. it's a little too long.

The Evil Dead
½

the goriest, strangest and most original horror movie i've ever seen

Face/Off
Face/Off(1997)

who said ben byker doesn't recommend good movies?

Babel
Babel(2006)
½

it's alright i guess. the story wasn't strong enough to deserve the fractured storytelling. lots of style for silly substance. bam!

Knocked Up
Knocked Up(2007)

a knockout. it's a great blend of funny, raunchy and sweet. apatow rocks!

The Rules of Attraction

an empty, empty film. for what purpose was this made? i violently hated this movie.

Annie Hall
Annie Hall(1977)
½

original and funny. it was neat how they showed what the characters were thinking.

The Fountain
The Fountain(2006)

i didn't get it but i liked it.

The Lion King

single-handedly caused children to disrespect authority.

The Ring Two
The Ring Two(2005)
½

they didn't even try to make this one good.

Pay It Forward

the ending is awful. i wasn't feelin' what i was supposed to be feeling. damn this movie and its cheap manipulations!

The Ice Storm

billy did not like it. he hated all the characters and wanted them all to be electrocuted. to each, his own.

Disturbia
Disturbia(2007)
½

the plot was pretty generic and predictable....the end was horrible. but shia ruled.

The Good Son
The Good Son(1993)

i thought this movie was great when i was a kid. saw it recently and realized it was sort of crappy.

Notes on a Scandal

not enough build. jumps right into the suspense. the score was a bit over the top. cate and judi rule though!

Mean Girls
Mean Girls(2004)

this has great replay value.

Old School
Old School(2003)

people liked this nothing? i didn't get it at all.

The Parent Trap

lindsay lohan and dennis quaid rule.

Mean Creek
Mean Creek(2004)

the best portrayal of "a stupid fat kid" ever. this movie is really real. the dialogue, the way the kids act. you've gotta see it.

Prancer
Prancer(1989)

3 times in theater me saw prance.

Buffalo '66
Buffalo '66(1998)

the scene where christina ricci meets gallo's parents at dinner is priceless.

My Girl
My Girl(1991)

"he can't see without his glasses!" if that doesn't choke you up, you are not human. you are an android. a common android. those androids make me so mad!

In America
In America(2003)

he wasted all that money on that carnival game. it's a shame.

Bully
Bully(2001)
½

it's crap that could have been good.

Wayne's World 2

just as good, maybe better, than the first one. "who's the old lady?" "that's my old lady."

Wayne's World

if you're going to spew, spew into this.

Elephant
Elephant(2003)
½

dull but kind of good.

Pan's Labyrinth

really, really amazing. highly original. a beautiful vision.

Milk Money
Milk Money(1994)

one of the worst movies ever made.

Sherrybaby
Sherrybaby(2006)
½

i could not take my eyes off of gyllenhaal.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
½

funny, but not as funny as i thought it would be.

Welcome to the Dollhouse
½

hilarious. though some people think it's sad. well, i guess it was sad the first time i saw it. this movie is EXCELLENT. many rewind-worthy moments. the best part: when she slaps the ball out of that kid's hand a la alison in first grade. oh and also when brandon says, "hey weiner, you better get ready. cause at 3:00 i'm gonna rape you." ahhhh pure gold.

Half Nelson
Half Nelson(2006)

really really amazing.

The Shawshank Redemption
½

the end of this film is so powerful...well at least it was the last time i saw it circa 1995

Kill Bill: Volume 2

i liked the first one better. too much style. not enough substance.

Stepmom
Stepmom(1998)

if i wanted cheap melodrama, i'd visit the brackens.

National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1
½

some lol moments. "do you sleep in the nude?" "only when i'm naked."

Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins(1964)

a little too zany. but whatever. alison likes it so i guess i do too.

Super Troopers

starts out strong but loses steam about halfway through.

I Am Trying to Break Your Heart
½

there's this part where jeff tweedy throws up and i did not care to see that.

The Insider
The Insider(1999)

a real entertaining flick. how did this one pass me by?

The Eyes of Tammy Faye
½

i really like Tammy Faye and I am entertained by her existence.

Willow
Willow(1988)

nightmarishly creepy.

Garden State
Garden State(2004)

hi, i go to college. i listen to frau frau and the dave matthews band. i have a bob marley poster in my dorm room. i love dane cook. i tried opium yesterday.

Little Miss Sunshine
½

it's funny, it's touching. a little bit too many crowd-pleaser cliches. audiences laughing is like poison to my ears. but they, the audience, did help lighten up the film. hey, don't listen to me. i'm overly critical sometimes! it's best to not sit and break 'sunshine' down. you should just go see it with your family or friends and accept it, flaws and all. probably one of the best movies to come out this summer. go see it! (are the stan grossman references a big up to fargo??)

Ghost
Ghost(1990)

this is the movie that i have seen THE MOST. there's not one line, one gesture that is unfamiliar. all the audio tones of this movie are burned into my head. the special fx haven't aged well, but i'm not gonna hold that against it.

American History X
½

something's not right about this one. people with such deep-rooted hate don't just "turn around" because it's the right thing to do. this film eerily sends mixed messages about race. race issues are difficult to portray on film and 'x' doesn't pull it off.

What Women Want

who doesn't want an anti-semite to spout out racial slurs?

Finding Nemo
Finding Nemo(2003)

this movie is so loud! and long. and overrated.

Michael
Michael(1996)

like watching paint dry. and not even good paint.

Monster
Monster(2004)
½

theron does the best portrayal of trash ever.

Moulin Rouge!
½

when i was little, sometimes i would use all the colors in the box to color a page in a coloring book. this is like that. i believe that less is more. and this film was way too much.

Pleasantville
½

not that good really. but it is from my favorite year (1998).

Porky's
Porky's(1982)

so depressing i wanted to cry.

Punch-Drunk Love
½

there's nothing wrong with this movie. it just is unable to reach 4 stars and i'm not sure why.

Scream 3
Scream 3(2000)

i didn't enjoy one second of this tired sequel.

Sixteen Candles
½

where is my automobile?

Spaceballs
Spaceballs(1987)

depressing and annoying. oh and loud. we mustn't forget that i do not like loud movies. why, you ask, do i say that this is loud? well i was trying to sleep but it was just blaring from the tv being loud.

The Cell
The Cell(2000)

some of it is great but most of it is dull. kind of a mess.

The Matrix
The Matrix(1999)
½

sucked me in its world.

The Sixth Sense
½

the only non-horrible m night movie.

The Village
The Village(2004)
½

m night is such a moocow.

Weird Science
½

it's retarded but easy to watch if you don't feel like watching anything.

Road Trip
Road Trip(2000)

not bad. it's best when seen on tv.

Elf
Elf(2003)
½

i can see this becoming a classic in a few years.

Private Parts
½

i'm not kidding. it's really good!

Vanilla Sky
Vanilla Sky(2001)
½

even though i didn't like it, i'd see it again.

Back to the Future Part II

i like things that are about alternate universes and the future.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

the best part is when terrnace or phillip slaps brooke shields.

Spider-Man 2
Spider-Man 2(2004)
½

much better than the first one.

Stolen Summer

i like it, hey mikey!

The Exorcist
The Exorcist(1973)

the power of christ compels you!

The Sandlot
The Sandlot(1993)

the great bambino!

The Talented Mr. Ripley
½

it looked pretty but it was boring.

The Man in the Moon

i love 'lil reese witherspoon.

The Grudge
The Grudge(2004)

i waited for it to get scary or good. never did happen. i also didn't "get" it. i paid attention so i'm going to blame the filmmakers.

Something to Talk About

i think this movie might have had horses in it which is probably why i don't like it.

Saw
Saw(2004)

i don't like watching people get tortured. i do not see the entertainment in that. i felt like this movie should have been illegal to view. it was sick.

Palindromes
Palindromes(2004)

one of the strangest films i've seen. the mama sunshine stuff is indescribable.

Napoleon Dynamite

this came out at the right time and was marketed well. i don't expect the director of this to strike lightning again. it was lucky.

In Good Company
½

dull, long and not funny.

Ernest Goes to Camp

brings back depressing childhood memories. something about our house catching on fire and delroy sneaking around our garage.

Serial Mom
Serial Mom(1994)
½

starts out great, then moves into OK territory.

Secret Window
½

i didn't wanna see it because i heard it wasn't good. and it wasn't good. so, that's that.

Seabiscuit
Seabiscuit(2003)
½

shut up seabiscuit.

Scary Movie 2

i was shocked at how horrible this was. i didn't expect much but this was unacceptable. i didn't feel like this was even a movie. it was just a collection of things.

Saved!
Saved!(2004)

this is such a 3 star movie i can't even think of one more 3 starish.

Rent
Rent(2005)

people who like rent are stupid.

Life as a House

movies that think they're good are the WORST kind of bad movie.

Good Will Hunting

if you go throughout your entire life and never see this, it's fine. it won't change anything. but if it's on tbs superstation, you should watch it.

Ghost World
Ghost World(2001)
½

worth watching for that part where that trash woman says, "yeah. let me have lots of butter on it." and then enid is like, "hrrrrrdd."

Friday the 13th

i like the way kevin bacon is killed. did not see that coming.

Final Destination
½

i saw this in a theater and i don't remember one thing about it. i'm pretty sure it was retarded.

Fear
Fear(1996)
½

cheap fun, much like a street whore.

Fast Times At Ridgemont High
½

too old for me. i'm not feeling it.

Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story

not a movie as much as it is 4 episodes pooped together.

Evita
Evita(1996)

i will not cry for you, evita.

Dangerous Minds

never did like this one.

Cocktail
Cocktail(1988)

the definition of a bad 80s movie.

Billy Madison

I'VE ALWAYS HATED THIS MOVIE AND I ALWAYS WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blast From the Past

loses its steam about halfway through.

A Night at the Roxbury

has that sunday afternoon before school/work on monday vibe.

Election
Election(1999)
½

sharp, smart and hilarious... like me. jk, jk.

Kids
Kids(1995)

wholesome family fun!

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

i mean, it's good. but it's not that good.

Pretty Woman
Pretty Woman(1990)

a childhood classic.

The River Wild
½

i love this mediocre movie!

Do the Right Thing
½

supports my theory that BAD THINGS HAPPEN ON HOT DAYS!

Forrest Gump
Forrest Gump(1994)
½

i was insanely obsessed with this movie in '94. ridiculously obsessed.

Spirited Away
½

that's some weird shit.

Reservoir Dogs
½

real violent, but the story is captivating.

Brokeback Mountain
½

it's good. but there aren't any surprises. it goes where you expect it to.

The Shining
The Shining(1980)
½

well-crafted. creepy.

Office Space
Office Space(1999)
½

PC load letter?? what the fuck does that mean?

Donnie Darko
Donnie Darko(2001)
½

i still don't get the ending.

The Incredibles
½

good but a little long. that's what she said. hike!

Raging Bull
Raging Bull(1980)

i like movies with one self-destructive character. it's entertaining. boogie nights has dirk diggler. raging bull has jake.

About a Boy
About a Boy(2002)
½

i hated that little boy. this movie rocks in spite of him.

Far From Heaven

it's a classic. or at least it should be. julianne moore is one of the greatest actresses of our time.

Capturing the Friedmans

disturbing but hella-captivating.

Kill Bill: Volume 1

another reason why going to the movies is sometimes worth it.

Y Tu Mama Tambien

this is the best three star movie ever. so therefore it gets four stars.

The Hours
The Hours(2002)

all 3 stories are good.

A Prairie Home Companion

real well-made. high, high movie-making standards.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood(1994)

weird and good and cool.

Mystic River
Mystic River(2003)

i really felt what was going on.

GoodFellas
GoodFellas(1990)

my favorite mob movie.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

even though i didn't know what the fuck was going on, i still liked it.

King Kong
King Kong(2005)

THIS is what going to the movies is all about!!

A History of Violence

questions the core, animalistic nature of violence. one of my favorite movies of 2005.

The Good Girl

you know i love jennifer.

The Squid and the Whale

funny and sad. sometimes at the same time. great acting. wonderful music. the director actually thought of certain scenes and conversations before the plot. i wanna make a movie that way.

A Christmas Story
½

offbeat, hilarious, and it gives me the xmas feeling.

Adventures in Babysitting

elisabeth shue rocks my world.

Sideways
Sideways(2004)

a perfect movie. everything is top-notch.

Pulp Fiction
Pulp Fiction(1994)
½

some of these scenes are truly classic.

The Little Mermaid
½

the first movie i ever saw in a theater. i watched it a few days ago and some of it is really scary.

Eyes Wide Shut
½

a slow-cookin' masterpiece.

Ray
Ray(2004)
½

this was a shitty movie. and it shouldn't have been.

Blue Velvet
Blue Velvet(1986)
½

for sure this film is creepy. but it's not all too enjoyable.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

a disappointment. the book was hella better.

Adaptation
Adaptation(2002)

it's no being john malkovich.

Thirteen
Thirteen(2003)
½

this movie is funny. especially when tracy says, "how else am i supposed to say it? i don't speak no other languages." it's so missy iaquinto.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

i saw this recently and it's a lot more horrible than i remembered.

Hoop Dreams
Hoop Dreams(1994)
½

it will teach you about life.

Crumb
Crumb(1995)

i did not like this. it's not that it's bad. it's just too upsetting.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

i rented this movie 234890234809 times in the early 90s from that video story Mr. Carter worked at.

House on Haunted Hill

this was an awful experience at the multi-plex. i just wanted it to stop. i literally, i mean it, literally felt like i was being tortured by images a la alex from clockwork orange.

The In Crowd
The In Crowd(2000)

THE WORST EXPERIENCE I'VE EVER HAD THE THE MULTI-PLEX. it wasn't my idea to go see this. it made me depressed for the rest of the day.

Freddy Got Fingered

gross and hard to watch.

Brokedown Palace

depressing and not in a good way.

Dirty Dancing

why was this movie a hit? it's such a nothing.

Seven (Se7en)
½

movies like this don't need to be made.

Magnolia
Magnolia(1999)
½

big disappointment.

Requiem for a Dream

it's too much sometimes.

Wet Hot American Summer

i'm so tired of this movie! i never want to see it again!

Not Another Teen Movie

hits more than it misses.

Romeo + Juliet

it's crap but it's good for the nostalgia factor.

Boyz n the Hood
½

it's so sad when what's-his-name gets shot.

Catch Me If You Can
½

only good the first time.

Freaky Friday
½

i could watch this anytime.

Speed
Speed(1994)

part of my childhood.

Go
Go(1999)

high-octane fun.

Clueless
Clueless(1995)

i can recite this movie.

Airplane!
Airplane!(1980)

the mother of all spoof movies.

Being John Malkovich
½

one of the strangest movie experiences i can recall.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape
½

i forced father to take me to this and after all these years i still love it.

Murderball
Murderball(2005)

i loved this movie.

Happiness
Happiness(1998)

this movie is hilarious.... and disturbing.

Junebug
Junebug(2005)

you have to see this if you're from a small town. it's so real.

Fargo
Fargo(1996)

my favorite movie of all time

Gummo
Gummo(1997)

the worst movie i have ever seen