NightMary's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Inglourious Basterds

A beautiful remake worthy of Tarantino- and of watching. The only reason not to watch is if you are intolerant to subtitles- in which case I wouldn't like you much, anyway.

The Pest
The Pest(1997)

Worth watching, if Looney-Tunes-esque escapades are a favorite of yours. Otherwise, watch only as a bottom of the barrel choice.

Charlie's Angels

WHEN will we all join hands, as a world, and yell to the sky that Drew Barrymore was and never will be sexually appealing? I don't think that girl could look "sexy" if she gained weight, lost weight, tried to perform surgery on her face, or got a brick smashed on her bulgy, fishy eyes. On the topic of the movie itself, anybody could see from the beginning that this film was born to be awful, and it delivers on that promise in full. For anyone who wants to see an action movie with Lucy Liu in it, I would recommend "Kill Bill", which is, incidentally, NOT a rip-off of an already godawful show from the goddamned seventies.

Mr. Deeds
Mr. Deeds(2002)

I prefer Sandler's earlier films- the same formula approach that he did to Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, and The Wedding Singer seems to have not aged well outside of the 80's and 90's. Not bad, but I wouldn't plan on watching it alone once again, just for the hell of it.

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
½

A visually dark and stunning film for the whole family, it seems to run the gamut from dark humor to Jim Carrey's silliness as effortlessly as an axe sinks into the back of a sexed-up teen in a slasher horror film. Not as much a "kid's" movie than a "family" movie, as parents will enjoy this film every bit as much as their children. As for the adaptation from the series itself into a single film, although it seems... rushed and, at times, missplaced by fans of the books, it actually seems to have been adapted as well as it ever could into a single movie. If only interest in the series would have prompted a series of movies instead of only one, but as they say, shit in one hand, dream in the other.

Happy Gilmore

Unless you're not from the 'states, I have no clue why a person would not have seen this countless times as a child. Perfect Sandler, albeit low-brow and formulaic. If you don't mind that this film (just like Billy Madison and the Wedding Singer) are clearly working on a formula, you can enjoy the many stars that pop in during the course of the movie and the insane humor of a Sandler film.

The Grudge
The Grudge(2004)

For any horror fans out there who have or want to see this- I wish to yell from the very mountain tops that not only is this film a bit of a wash (throw in happy, sappy couple, rinse and repeat) but it is also a re make of a MUCH better film. A Japanese horror film- with ACTUAL Japanese people in it. The ONLY reason to prefer this over it (it's called "Ju-on", incidentally) is because you have a problem with foreign films or with subtitles. In either cases, if you don't like either, I really do not wish to know you. Anyway, American horror versus Japanese is like pitting a rat against a saber-toothed tiger- one is horribly rinse-and-repeat, with a few daring exceptions, while the other is steeped in fables, legends, and some of the most FUCKED UP ghost stories that I have ever heard. The only reason it is two stars in because of the instances in which it was actually influenced by its Japanese fore runner, and didn't have the American characters doing what they do best- which is being annoying.

Remember the Titans

Used to like, then I learned it was a total fabrication. Now it's just shit. Lying pig shit.

Nanny McPhee
Nanny McPhee(2006)

Remindes me of classic fairytales, going as far as to even shed some of the politically correct garbage that litters children's movies today.

Pulp Fiction
Pulp Fiction(1994)

Not my favorite Quentin Tarantino movie, but still, a classic

102 Dalmatians

Dumb romantic plot, not enough puppies, too much bleedin' romance.

P2
P2(2007)

A very unique and disturbing horror movie worth watching mroe than once.

The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course

Sorry to the late environmentalist and lover of all animals, but this movie could not have been any worse if Uwe Boll had thrown the idea out during a script pool, then, deciding hastily that it was too stupid, even for the likes of him. Seriously, I thought the late- Irwin was more intelligent than THIS.

Howard the Duck

So weird... who else has been traumatized by the sex scene?

How High
How High(2001)

Fucking stupid. Rappers simply can't be entertaining- at least, through this moronic brand of humor. Dodge if at all possible.

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

One of the worst of the series- but the series is one of the best in horror, so even the worst is better than some of the supposed "best" of the genre- if only because of its deep roots in the grotesque short story by Clive Barker.

Big Trouble
Big Trouble(2002)
½

Funny and underrated, this film seems to be the smart person's answer to "Rat Race". It is not a surprise; the movie itself was based off of a book written by a reknown journalist (if what I heard is correct) whose views are always tinged with his personal sense of humor. This is important, because the movie is faithful to its source, including the main character's hilarious narration.

Randomness is also a favorite theme, with subjects ranging from Gator Fans (who soon become a euphemism for morons in general), a foot-obsessed jack-off, a toad with hallucinogenic-toxins, and three teenagers whose high-school game turns into a chase from an armed drunk mall cop.

In summation, the film is hilarious for those who can watch something beyond the simple dick joke and who do not mind semi-serious action mixed in.

Shattered Glass
½

A very good watch on what it means for a journalist to possess ethics

Hamlet 2
Hamlet 2(2008)
½

At times extremely dry and at others very much slapstick. Enjoyed it greatly for what it was- politically incorrect and funny as fuck

Dirty Work
Dirty Work(1998)
½

Classic Norm McDonald- before he just got OLD.

Gosford Park
Gosford Park(2001)
½

too fucking boring. Need I say anymore. Goddamn; don't get me wrong- I watch educational videos all the time, so this shit must be like watching paint dry for everybody else.

The Rage: Carrie 2

God fucking awful. Probably stank up the theatre when it began. The only horror was the screaming people crawling out of the theatre to tryt o escape the awful plot.

Best in Show
Best in Show(2000)

A very dry, hilarious comedy

Alvin and the Chipmunks

dumb-assery at it's finest. A pity, since Jason Lee got tangled up in this mess.

Prom Night
Prom Night(2008)

Awful and cliched

The Hunchback of Notre Dame
½

Hey, why omit the scene of Esmerelda dying and Quasimodo dying with her corpse in his arms? Hey, Disney? Are you listening...?

WALL-E
WALL-E(2008)

Surely Pixar's greatest work to date

Bee Movie
Bee Movie(2007)

God awful and stupid. You could practically smell the air of pained romantic comedy (which is somehow even creepier than one would think, concerning the fact that the romance in question is horrifying enough as it is) between bee and human frothing out of the movie's case. Oh, that, and the cliched plot, which has been shamelessly ripped off from so many other truthfully entertaining sources. Hell, even Antz was a better story about insects! And Seinfeld makes nothing if not an annoying voice actor to be forced to sit through, albeit painfully. Don't get me wrong, I love the man, loved his television show- he should just stop short of giving his audience a brain aneurism at the sound of his whining voice. And given the fact that his little bee character is the star, you can count on much of the movie being spent wondering if the liquid issuing from your ears is simply the ear wax build up being spit out by the whiniest, most high-pitched male voice "actor", or blood. My guess is on blood.

Death Race
Death Race(2008)

Surprisingly good- for an action movie.

Baby Mama
Baby Mama(2008)

Oh look, and uptight lady and a slutty moron have to get along! WHAT ARE THEY A-GONNA DO?! What a cliched pile of pigshit.

Step Brothers
½

Over-rated but worth watching

Bedtime Stories

A little over rated through its commercial spots, it is nevertheless worth watching

Ratatouille
Ratatouille(2007)

A magnificent magnum opus of comedy and animation. It's wonderful to see a comedy about cooking and French culture that is not derogatory or reliant on cliches. A must watch for everybody.

I Am Legend
I Am Legend(2007)
½

What a wonderful movie. An action flick I heartedly recommend

The Others
The Others(2001)

Perfect movie, the ending a true shocker

Saw V
Saw V(2008)
½

Worst yet in the series. Was a sad, slow death

Watchmen
Watchmen(2009)

A true sprawling masterpiece... well worth any cost ti took to get in within the first ten minutes. If you aren't blown away, you must have the IQ of a person who's dying to see "Fighting" and the latest Miley Cyrus mess.

Clerks
Clerks(1994)

There are a few things sacred to me and what I dubiously call my circle of friends- "Silent Hill", Jhonen Vasquez comics- and "Clerks". Hell, nearly everything (I said NEARLY; "Jersey Girl" does not count) Kevin Smith deserves ihis own religious following for creating the perfect Geek/Outcast mold for movies. Geek epics of comedy have followed, but none have and may never overshadow the combination of Clerks one and two.

Although released as a low-budget, supposedly "low-quality" movie, it obviously says something when one movie's most infamous quote (Dante: "Thirty seven! My girlfriend sucked thirty seven dicks!" Randall: "...In a row?") will send any self- respecting geek into a choking fit of laughter.

Role Models
Role Models(2008)
½

Damn hilarious, but would not recommend to watch around children- or if you just don't approve of your children watching some naughty stuff. The younger kid was the funniest part of the entire damn movie

Small Soldiers

Despite the misleading synopsis, this movie far surpasses "Gremlins" in comedy. A classic from my childhood that I still love very much.

Bolt
Bolt(2008)
½

Quite good, despite Miley-whore having a voice in it... and a song... hang on, WHY do I like this..? Oh, yeah, it's a good movie. Very humorous.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
½

A great, disturbingly awesome movie worth watching- and not just because it's an emo favorite (damn you bastards, keep your mopey little hands off of my favorite things!). Even if you dislike musicals, this one is one for the ages

Reign Over Me

Damn good- love that its title is a Pearl Jam song.

The Land Before Time

Still remarkably good, as a grown-up. It's sequals, however, should be avoided at all cost- even as I child I was tempted to stomp the VHS' to bits after viewing those pieces of crap.

Adventures in Babysitting
½

An awesome classic. One of the few classics that were watched about a million times by children when I was just a wee little cherub. Now EVERYTHING'S squeaky clean and unawesome with children, and I can only look to the covers of these eighties classics and mourn a generation of retarded kids whose only form of entertainment is a black, vaguely Nazi-like guy dancing with what appears to be a bumpy dildo monster, and a rapping, dumb-ass bear. I weep for a generation whose idea of a hit movie is watching loser Disney tweenager singers in movie theatres.

Bingo
Bingo(1991)

Very good children's movie, and is even tolerable to adults. Somewhat. Again, if you're looking for something for someone under the sage of 13 to be entertained with, this is a good choice.

Dunston Checks In

A cute story for a child- not so much an adult. Still brings back good memories as a child watching it.

The Hills Have Eyes

The acting is laughable, but for anyone who's a fan of the newer (and MUCh better version) of this movie, it isn't all that bad an idea to watch this movie. Unfortunatly, be prepared to laugh at the unintentionally ridiculousness of the movie rather than be frightened as you rightly should be.

Cold Mountain

Part romance & part action, this movie has everything that a movie should. It is also par thriller- why can't more movies be as wonderful as this?!

Sicko
Sicko(2007)

A movie that everyone should see.

Yours, Mine & Ours

Absolute, brainwashing crap. I cannot explain why I loathe this movie so entirely- I just do.

Death Proof
Death Proof(2007)

I absolutely LOVE this movie- edgy, as imaginative as a movie can get action-wise, and very awesome, you'll find yourself breahtless at the end. I highly recommend this movie to anyone who's a fan if Kill Bill & Pulp Fiction

A Troll in Central Park

One of the most perfect children's movies I've ever seen. I highly recommend this for parents of imaginative children- or just parents sick of seeing unwatchable swill.

The Haunting Hour: Don't Think About It

It's o.k- for an R.L Stine flick- if you're above the age of 13, take the movie's advice that's printed right on the front- don't think about it. Well, unless you're a hardcore Tobin Bell/Hanna Montnae freak. Did I misspell the last one? I don't care, go get a life. For the former fan, I pity you for having to skip through all the nonsense to see a great actor in action- but I pity even more the latter, who'll no doubt be in need of a brain transplant for having no taste other than in bubble gum pop-ish nonsense.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
½

I like Jack Sparrow, the awesome battles, and the music, but I found much in it that was horribly lackluster.

Scary Movie
Scary Movie(2000)
½

This movie, unlike it's fourth installment, is hilarious. Let's put ti that way.

Titanic
Titanic(1997)
½

Sweet and, in my book (and cuz I'm 16) it's a classic. My onlycomplaint? focuses WAYY too much on the main two characters :S

Donnie Darko
Donnie Darko(2001)
½

By far one of the most eerie and awesome movies ever. Period.

Sin City
Sin City(2005)

I love this movie that is lovingly based off of Sin City. What to glow about first? The actors and actresses who always seen tailer-fitted to their fictional characters? The depressing but cool and edgy fictional city in which all of the stories are set in? The comedic effect of some of the most darkest things in it? The way the movie. essentially, makes you feel sorry for the devil, i,e, the corrupt but somehow innocent characters, such as the women of Old Town? Or, maybe the way that the stories, the action sequences, and even the colors and backgrounds of the movie all remind me of hard-boiled or pure blood acton black and white comic books? Not to mention the fact that it's half directed by Quentin Tarantino, who's golden touch is vibrant in many aspects of the movie. My only complaint? The sometimes wayyy to unrealistic dialouge from the characters, some of the situations (cool as they may be) and the feeling that the movie is set in present day, but is dominated by a sadly at times failing try for the 50's.

Bruce Almighty

Too silly, I think. Oh, you mean he can control the size of his girlfriend's boobs?! WOW. Ugh, I dunno, alot of my friends liked it, but I can genuinely see WHY some people don't like Jim Carrey.. but don't worry, I'm not a hater, I love Me, Myself, And Irene... if you love that movie , for god's sake, skip this flick, it's not worth seeing Jim Carrey!!

Kill Bill: Volume 1

A beautiful, but deadly tale of heartbreak, deceit, and revenge. A definite yes on the list of to watch fro action junkees

10 Things I Hate About You

This is my all time favorite romantic comedy- I can completely see where one character (Cat) is coming from, and it is hilarious. I Highly recommend this title for all those feminist girls out there who love a good laugh!

Saw II
Saw II(2005)
½

Not really as good as the original, but like it's forefather, I fell in love because of the originality of the story.. and the uncompromising gory and nerve-gnawing scenes. My only complaint? I just wish Jigsaw had stayed A Mr. John Doe, despite us having seen his face in the other movie- hey, I'm not a fan of the Jason or Michael Meyer horror movie knock offs where the murderer is always hidden, never talks, and is always seen in de-Ja-Vu chase scenes- usually walking as slow as a zombie- but come on. Keeping most of Jigsaw's background as a little more swept under the rug could have been a nice little hook.

There's Something About Mary
½

Funny at times, but it does tend to bank more on grossness rather than actual well thought out comedic moments- don't get me wrong, I lOVE gross stuff- but even the best thing can be overwhelming if taken wayyy too often

School of Rock
½

I lOVE this movie- not so much for Jack Black, although he's pretty O.K in this movie- but the kids are gold in this movie! I really loved the ending song with the kids, I thought they were adorable, and despite the G-Rated lyrics to it (which is normally irritating to me) I liked it

King Kong
King Kong(2005)
½

I really do like this movie- and the graphics on that giant monkey were oustanding!

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

God, Jim Carrey makes me laugh my ass off, and yes, I do have to agree with one of my closest friends on this (Chris!!), he DOES tend to go for the over-exaggerated, but hey, I like it... as long as he tried to stick to his character (which he often has a hard time doing) I'll love the movie he's in.. he tends to go overboard sometimes in this movie, so that's why it isn't four or five stars.. ge can grate on my nerves in this movie at times :/

Dinosaur
Dinosaur(2000)
½

One of the increasingly rarer breed of Disney/Pixar mutated young that leaves you and your kids equally entralled. It's story doesn't come off as overly-sweet (despite the evil Disney logo on top, don't be discouraged away!), and near the middle, you may find yourself forgetting that you're watching a kids' flick, because, like ANY good family movie worth it's chops, it dazzles the kids, and gives the older kids and parents a storyline to snag onto.

One of Pixar's perhaps last remaining bests, I hope that this gem admist the annoying, overly perky cartoons out there manufactured by Disney isn't lost.

Riding in Cars With Boys

Very realistic and touching- a drama that leaves you wanting to watch it a second time to watch how she changes, and how she manages to keep her and her son's head above water.

Empire of the Sun
½

I can remeber the scene when the main character opens up a can of Spam from a drop-box full of stuff like Ritz crackers- annndd, not much else :)

Mars Attacks!
½

Totally irrevelant and in pure love of the sub-culture of Sci-Fi, this classic is definitely worth a second watch.

Rock-a-Doodle
½

I remember (somewhat) watching it as a kid. Looking back, I think that although I adored it as a little kid, no one above the age of 10 should watch this for the first time. Trust me- the story makes little to no sense, the songs grind on your ears, and the switch from animation to live-action leaves you wanting to scratch your head.

James and the Giant Peach
½

Although it has a great premise, more than interesting characters (and a goddamn NOT often-enough talked about cameo by The Pumpkin King himself, Jack!) I found myself frowning at the end of it. Perhaps it's the lack of character development, the desire for a longer movie (and more adventure in it!), but I think that it's the singing that killed this movie for me. Don't get me wrong- I normally love the marriage of live action and animation (Who Framed Roger Rabbit fanatic? Guilty as charged!), the humor that provides for both the kiddies and the adults, and a musical as long as it's REALLY good and for a good reason- not just breaking into song for the annoyingness of it- but the SINGING- that crappy, disney-esque SINGING- makes me lower the volume to mute EVERY time I watch it- with the exception for a musical sequence being the sequence where the grasshopper plays his violin. But even THAT'S followed by laughably ridiculous singing!

SO, the final verdict?- taste this peach at your own discression- but at least do it with a kid in the room if you're older than 12, because there's no good way to explain to your friends, partner, or family members why you're watching a movie with gigantic insects singing on top of a flying peach. And singing badly, at that.

The Addams Family
½

Very cool. I can remember watching this when I was a wee little psychopath with ADHD. *sigh* very good memories.

Now, I may have never seen the origninal show/comic strip, but this movie is a classic to me, and although parts of it delve into the slapstick comedy area of movin' pictures, I always loved the areas where the movie takes place, the general ideas presented in it, and the interesting characters in the movie.

So, in end, if you're looking for something dark and disturbing for the thrills, look elsewhere- but, if you're looking to the dark and disturbing for some family fun and a few chuckles, you've come to the right place.

Pan's Labyrinth

Wonderful, breath taking, and wholly captivating. The epiphany of fairytales and the master of tension builders. All of these statements and many more can be applied to this movie.

Although it is normally annoying to see into a backstory other than the main character's, the viewer's patience becomes almost immediatally rewarded in the form of almost too rich to be ingestible story telling and the incredible depth to which each and every character is shown from the very beginning to the ending that makes the viewer feel a wide arrange of emotions.

I highly recommend this movie- if you're tired of the same old same old and don't mind subtitles (*I* sure didn't!) I urge you to see this film.
--------- Scribe

Dead Poets Society
½

A great movie definatly worth a watch. For a hollywood movie, it has parts in it which are normally not deemed as "Normal" by hollywood standards. I actually respected this movie for that saving grace, and it is still worth a watch despite it's age.

Saw III
Saw III(2006)

Although i liked the premise of a Saw meant to shine a bigger spotlight on both Amanda and John's (A.K.A Jigsaw's) lives, I have to say that it isn't as interesting as it's two older brothers.

Spirited Away

A sweet movie that takes a person back to fairy tales after having watched it. Very whimsical, but this movie is capable of making you cry- as any good movie set up like this one should. And the animation is, by the way, top notch- as if Hayao Miyazaki CAN make a bad movie!

Fight Club
Fight Club(1999)

Any actor and a movie with him in it who can pull off wearing a fur coat and a pink robe with pictures of coffee mugs on it has MY undying respect. In case you haven't seen this great movie, I meant Brad Pitt- and shame on you for not seeing this!
And, wow, this was the first reaaaaaalllllyyyy good modern movie with the idea of "Split personality/ Dr. Jeckyll, Mr. Hyde" thing. I don't know many movies that can pull that off- but if you can find me a movie as strange as this one, another one with two of my favorite actors starring in it (Edward Norton & Brad Pitt), and has some of the trippiest dialouge and narration in it in movie history ("I am Jack's liver"), I'd be more than happy to hear about it!

American History X

A movie that EVERY person should watch- even if watching a movie about racism bothers you, it really opens your eyes to how something like hatred can grow and lead to tragic consequences. Just don't watch this with someone who's REALLY impressionable (like a kid).

Unbreakable
Unbreakable(2000)

Great M. Night Shymalan, and one of the few great movies with the comic book world as a centerpeice and as a great guide to the characters in the movie

The Hills Have Eyes
½

Although most people say that the movie was grosser than 3 week old pizza left in a dumpster, I LOVED it because of its premise and pure rawness. I wish more movies were as unflinching as this one- I might be able to have more fun then!

Silent Hill
Silent Hill(2006)

This is my most favorite movie. I have never before seen a truely fantastic game such as Silent Hill been so well made into a movie- and it still creeps me out! My only complaint- why did they have to replace Harry with a female lead? :/

Life-Size
Life-Size(2000)
½

What? MORE Disney crap??

Clue
Clue(1985)
½

A movie that is still hilarious after it's debute decades ago is a rarity- and this movie certianly still makes me laugh. Even if you hated the board game, this film is still a movie worthy of watching.

Ghost World
Ghost World(2001)

An absolute failure of a movie. Not only that, but certain parts of it made me feel close to violantly ill.

National Lampoon's European Vacation
½

Very funny, but it is a movie that will never live up to the original Vacation. However, the Griswald's on vacation will ALWAYS be a good premise for a movie. Or, at least, a decent one.

Clerks
Clerks(2001)

A horrible, very stupid cartoon adaptation of an otherwise kick-ass movie. I'm just glad thta this cartoon series that: A. Had NO percievable plot in any episode B. Was as boring as hell. And C. Makes me hate EVERY character I loved in the GOOD Clerks never lived long on television. HOW there is a niche out there for people who apparently missed the crappy first two episodes and wanted to see them again and again and again is far, far, far beyond me. What is wrong with you idiots?

Little Miss Sunshine

The movie I had heard from my family as being hilarious began with a distinctly non-sunny scene: the grandfather snorting heroin and a family in trouble showing inner conflict apparent to everyone in the family except for the youngest member, Olive

Now, although "Sunshine" might have been misleading, I enjoyed this film because of it's unflinchingly dark humor and it's own brand of sickness. But, despite how troubled and for the most part, how anti-hero all of the characters are, you find yourself almost immediatally rooting for this dysfuntional family almost as soon as they hit the road. At times it can also be just as poignant as it is darkly hilarious- however, I don't recommed this movie for the light of heart.

And unless you're mature in your mind, you won't like this film very much, since it's not a cut-and-dry good guys win, bad guys lose movie. I, however, enjoyed it.

Dawn of the Dead

A seriously fucked-up, disturbing movie experience. I loved it!

Eight Men Out

So boring I actually fell asleep through it. And this was in SCHOOL, when I was already bored to tears. If you want to watch a baseball movie, may I recommend something that's NOT boring enough to make you fall asleep?

Secondhand Lions

Sweet and hilarious, this movie is definatley one that would be fit to watch on a family night with a mixed auidence of all ages. Although this movie contains certain things that some parents would frown on showing their kids ("bad" words), it still manages to come across with a much better morale at the end than all of the Disney garbage of late put together.
Plus, it's refreshing to see movies made in that time period without it being in black-and-white, and all of the young boys in it saying stuff like, "Golly" and "Gee-Whiz!". You have to watch this.

Saving Silverman
½

Surprisinly funnier than I originally thought, although there was nothing piss-your-pants funny here, it's still well worth a watch. Definatly for fans of "There's Something About Mary."

A League of Their Own

I seriosuly love this movie- and Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan is one of my all-time favorite movie chracters.

The Master of Disguise

A movie that tries desperatly to be funny, it seems as though it's results should only appeal to children an giggling sophmores.

The Beverly Hillbillies
½

Stupid beyond words, but slightly funny

Alice in Wonderland

Possibly the best and funniest adaptation of Alice In Wonderland- the Queen Of Hearts and the Mad Hatter were my favorite characters. I do have to say, though, that the the graphics which were probably seen as "cutting edge" are now obviously fake.

Man of the Year

Good god, do NOT let anyone or anythinf trick you into watching this. I got tricked into watching this, because I innocently thought that RObin Willians + the commercials they showed for it that were funny would equal a comedy.
Not so!
Despite having perhaps some of my most favorite actors, a great premise, and a great beginning, this movie turned to absolute crap within 40 minutes... and I'm just being kind there!
Instead of sticking to the premise of "A Comdeian For President", they brought in the angsty/suspensful element of the f***ing voting system, and tried to make it span across as edgy BUT funny, and ended up failing so miserably that even Lewis Black's dark and twisted humor was not enough to salvage this bastard child of a comedy and a suspense.
The only good note was Lewis Black and actually pretty top-notch acting... this may have been a great movie if not for the fact that they apparantly hired monkeys to type the plot and scripts up! DO NOT WATCH THIS IF YOU LOVE ANY OF THE ACTORS WHO STARRED IN THIS, OR YOU WILL GROW TO DISLIKE THEM! I am just warning you

Thirteen Ghosts (13 Ghosts)

One of my favorite movies- despite the fact that it comes up short on the "scary" end of the deal. Despite that, I sinply loved how it was designed- and the ghosts are some of the most lovingly brought-to-life movie villians/monsters that I have ever witnessed- if you're a fan of paranormal stuff, or love weird stuff in general, this may be for you. However, if you're looking for an edge-of-your-seat horror, you may be let down... but it does have it's moments, which occour rather frequently, thankfully.

Peter Pan
Peter Pan(1953)

A true classic from the evil empire- Walt Disney. Evil company, disturbingly good movies- you get the picture. More than one worker there must have sold their soul to satan to get their movies to be so good.

Stephen King's It
½

WHY do they always f*** Stephen King movies up?! Sheesh, read the book a few times, you dumb pricks! Anyway, it was an O.K adaptation of the book, minus the reallllllyyyyy disturbing orgy scene, and with more on Pennywise The Dancing Clown. Not all that bad.. for a Stephen King movie

The Omen
The Omen(2006)

One of the most f***ed up, genuinely horrifying movies I've ever seen. Geez, that kid gives you the willies days after you see the movie!

Grandma's Boy

it's a laugh your ass off, groan in disgust and surprise comedy for the pot-head community (do they have one??) and the video gaming/ nerd community. I F***ing loved every sick, delicious minute of it

Hostel
Hostel(2006)

Brilliant and scathingly original

Hellboy
Hellboy(2004)
½

Sucks in comparison the the comic book series. Gotta love Dark Horse comics!

Ghostbusters 2

Dumb. A catastrophe in the guise of the cool original movie, and not worth anyone's time

The Amityville Horror
½

The theme song alone is still enough to make me afraid enough to fear nightmares. Real or not, it still scares the crap out of me.

From Dusk Till Dawn

An unforgiving Vampire massacre of a horror movie

The Breakfast Club
½

Funnier and much darker than I expected. A definate must-see for anyone who's seen "Not Another Teen Movie", and wondered where most of the ideas came from

Son-in-Law
Son-in-Law(1993)
½

Pass this one up.

The Iron Giant

A rare animated movie

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
½

A great movie, and I believe it smashes the book version into oblivion

Duplex
Duplex(2003)
½

Hilarious and creative

Ray
Ray(2004)
½

A wonderful biography

Gone With the Wind

Ugh. I'll never watch this again unless forced

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Not nearly as good as the original, but an o.k flick

Freddy Got Fingered
½

A sick, guilty love if there ever was one. I wouldn't admit to having watched this.. and thoroughly laughed you a$$ off to your mom and dad anytime soon.. but worth watching if you love the sick, sick, sick humor. You've been warned!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
½

A highly underrated cult horror film. Hilarious, and very disturbing.

We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story

Great kid's movie from the age in which kid's movies were actually GOOD

History of the World---Part I
½

Classic, and a movie I'd highly recommend to any fans of Monty Python's The Quest For The Holy Grail.

Child's Play 2
½

O.K as a good example of classic horror flicks, but stacked up against today's horror or most of the horror classics of yesteryear, it seems like the David in the mighty shadow of the 30 story high Goliath. Ever int's later seqauls far surpassed this one. Steer clear unless you really love the Child's Play movies.
Chucky is, however, hilarious as always, but it still doesn't make up for the lack of scariness :/

It Takes Two
It Takes Two(1995)

I really, really wish I had never seen this as a kid. The two annoting brats that became two disturbingly skinny airheads have been burned into myh eyes from where my sister made me watch it with her as a kid.

FernGully - The Last Rainforest

One of the few kid's movies that I'd recommend to children. I wouldn't recommend watching this if you aren't below the age of.. oh, nine I guess

Black Sheep
Black Sheep(1996)

An average comedy, with a few distinctions to just barely drive it a few feet in front of the pack

Dennis the Menace

Please, spare yourself unless you are watching with kids younger than ten

Jeepers Creepers 2
½

Not as good as the original, but definatly throws good enough weird shit at you and scary ideas; such as when trouble hits, can and will humans, primarily teenagers, go back to survival of the fittest to avoid being killed?
Worth a watch at least once

Halloween
Halloween(1978)
½

Good as a recognized forefather of good horror movies, but certainly no golden idol for this generation of horror fans. Great to watch, if only to see where some of today's good movies got their steam from

Darkness Falls

Not as good as anticipated, it stole alot of plot ideas from other horror movies who use the ideas in a much better way. But, the idea of the villian monster thing was much more original and interesting, which earns it more points.

The Ringer
The Ringer(2005)

Sick and hilarious. Johnny Knoxville never pusses out with his comedy, even when some might find it offensive. Hey, people, the actors who played the other people who had "mental disabilaties" (Geez, I can't even say RETARDED anymore?!) really DID have mental disabilities. It gave them work, so shaddup :P
Anyway, despite the small notoriety it has gained, it's genuinely twisted and surprisingly light in comedy with few dark spots, and it showed no derogatory nature towards the obvious group of people it focuses on. Watch this if you're a fan of "Guy goes through really, REALLY stupid crap to get the girl" type stuff.

The Blair Witch Project

was o.k, but real? My ass. Plus the cam sucked ass in a big way

Shaun of the Dead
½

ood comedy, great premise, and ZOMBIES! Need I say more?

The Forgotten
½

Yet another movie that will leave you on the edge of your seat, and make you breathless in anticipation for the ending. Oh yeah, the villan(s) was pretty scary, too. Well, the ending didn't fully explain everything, but that has a frightening charm all it's own, in my opinion. However, if you like to have a movie that fully explains all of the f***ed up Sh** in it, it'll lose points in your eyes when the ending leaves you frustrated.
However, this movie is in my tastes, so it earns 5 stars easy for a plotline that seems spawned from the X-files and The Twilight Zone and genuinely scary villains.
However, the idea seemed to be used from the same vat of suspense/thrillers that have been made for a long time.
I highly recommend this, folks, if only to see something pretty interesting.

Napoleon Dynamite

One of the best movies for someone looking for anything just plain "out" there. For anyone who's hung up on plot line or genre, I'd definatly tell you to steer away, however.
Napolean is definatly out to pove that he's got nothing TO prove; he spends his days drawing, helping his friends Pedro and Deb, and doing whatever he FEELS like doing.
Hilarious as to how normal it feels for anyone who's lived in a small boring town: one thing just comes after the next, whith no pre-thought out plan, much like real life in a small town.

Hotel Rwanda
Hotel Rwanda(2004)

A rare movie telling of the bravery of one man who had just wanted to save his family- and ends up saving the lives of countless people. I recommend this movie with all of my heart for anyone who's willing to watch some of the most horrendous acts ever commited to innocent human beings. Ree-enacted, of course, but the news footage of people being killed by machetes is REAL.

Beauty and the Beast - The Enchanted Christmas

Beyond retarded if you happen to be above the age of 5.. and I bet even they know something smells distictly of dumbness

Darkness
Darkness(2004)

A genuinely fucked up, scary movie. One of my very favorites.... will leave you without sleep if watched at night with the lights out

Misery
Misery(1990)
½

Had more to be desired for the screenplay... ALOT more.. but I'm a sucker for a Stephen King movie

Accepted
Accepted(2006)

They got the perfect actor to be the Dean...

Super Size Me

One of those movies that really makes you think

Matilda
Matilda(1996)

One of the few movies that surpasses the original book...

Howl's Moving Castle
½

^^ another Hayao Miyazaki masterpiece... definatly for ppl who love fairy tales or Japanese animation

The Little Rascals

Funny, and a film you can watch with little kids...

Beethoven's 3rd

*gags and falls to the ground*

Mystery Men
Mystery Men(1999)
½

lol, the superhero D team, I love it

House of Wax
House of Wax(2005)
½

I love this film just for the fact that it allowed me to live out my fantasy of seeing Paris Hilton getting killed... but the house melting scene is smt NOT to be missed... :D

The Cable Guy

I liked this movie immensly. Note "liked", not "loved". Some part were off, but the idea of a friend stalker played by Jim Carrey is, of course, a great idea...

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

I always think of this movie when I or someone I know takes the day off. A classic

Old School
Old School(2003)
½

We're going streaking!!!! :D:D My only complaint? MORE COMEDY!! Sheez, it shouldn't be a request when U R watching a bloody COMEDY to laugh once in awhile, ya know?!
But, trust me, it's at least worth watching...

Underworld
Underworld(2003)
½

Made me want to tear my own eyeballs out at all of the cliches in it halfway through it...

The Goonies
The Goonies(1985)

No kid should ever be without seeing this movie. Still makes a person laugh after having not seen it in a long, long time

Almost Heroes
½

Long live Chris Farley.. it still hurts after all thses years. This movie was a great example of his ability as an actor. :)

Without a Paddle
½

Adult goonie-esque fun, with a touch of Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle thrown into the mix.. great fun

Hellraiser
Hellraiser(1987)

Classic horror. Screw psychological or new age shock; this movie offers old fashioned torture and horror for those who love the classic; pain horror and fear ;)

Monster House

A movie that is the next generation reincarnation of The Goonies. Very good

Stephen King's 'Desperation'

I would have loved to see more of the book put into the movie. Other than that, very good, and the perfect actor for Collie Estragian

Freddy vs. Jason
½

I know it's absolute crap.. but I love it

Secret Window

Great movie... another reason to love Johnny Depp AND Stephen King

The Haunted Mansion

would have been really good if they hadn't gone for the obvious plot with the hainted house freeing the spirits deal.

Balto
Balto(1995)

Actually made me cry.. when I was 5

Beethoven's 4th

Lacks the flair of the original two Beethoven's. I think if they had any morals concerning this movie series, they should have politely pulled the plug after this movie.

Look Who's Talking
½

Well.. let's just say John was good before he went Scientologist, but this movie is pretty annoying in various ways.
Still, a pretty good movie for it's time

The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea

Ack. Sequals rarely break the mld the original made, and this movie is certainly no different. I don't recommend this unless U have a group of kids that have taken U hostage and are forcing you to watch this

Black Hawk Down
½

Great dramatic movie!
If you like drama involving African wars ect, I highly recommend Hotel Rwanda to anyone who can stand watching that kind of horror and tragedy inflicted upon those people by our own country and others.

Osmosis Jones
½

I've seen worse, but then again, I've seen better

Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island

Absolute crap borrowed from all of their movies and TV shows

Memoirs of a Geisha

One of the best, most truely captivating movies ever.

Little Shop of Horrors

Feed Me, Seymour!

LOL, here's a bit of trivia for all of you JTHM fans out there..

in one of the panels in which Johnny is explaining what's happening to Tess in front of the nototrious vamparic wall, Jhonen drew "Feed Me, Seymour!" on it, if U look hard enough :)

A Christmas Story
½

This is one of the few comedies that doubles as a great christmas movie, and one that is still watchable even through the obvious changes of time

National Lampoon's Vacation
½

A classic. I practically grew up watching this, and the beginning song is STILL stuck in my head :D
One of those classic comedies that, despite the change in styles and trends in the movie, doesn't deserve to be forgotten, it's a classic that defies time, because it relies not on as much things of their time but on fundamental things that happen to anyone of any year, even if it's decades later!

House of 1000 Corpses
½

Sadly more juvenile in it's storyline and often relies on shock more than in it's sequal.
But don't worry; if you want to see The Devil's Rejects, you don't have to watch it's repulsive forefather

Kung Fu Hustle
½

Watch this, you'll thank me later :)

Scooby-Doo
Scooby-Doo(2002)

oooh! spooky Island!
Suck my shit!!! >.<

Seven (Se7en)

Good, awesome thriller. Distrubing and genuinely intelligent, and a killer who could stand proudly in the ranks of Hannibal Lechter

The Devil's Rejects
½

A complete change from the movie before it which relied mostly on shock value, The Devil's Rejects could very well stand with such movies as Saw, The Hills Have Eyes, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Don't miss this one, even if U couldn't stand House Of 1000 Corpses!

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

Could have done better if they had payed more attention to comedic effect of the women Rob Schneider's character encounters

Holes
Holes(2003)

This is one of those few movies in which it exceeds the book... The characters are more pronounced in the movie, and it manages to leave the cool style of the book. One of the few "kid's" movies I'd recommend

Waiting
Waiting(2005)
½

Woot! I recommend this to anyone with a strong stomach and who likes their comedy flavor slightly on the drk side

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Johnny Depp truely plays the role of Hunter S. Thompson like a clone, as welll as Benincio Del Toro! A MUST see for anyone who's a fan of dark comedy and the truely odd and nonsensical

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
½

Stupid, but has memorable moments. I'd only recommend this if U R a fan of Dumb And Dumber

Casper
Casper(1995)
½

I'll admit it: I'm a sucker for movies with the paranormal as the center piece. I liked this move.
It's not bad, but the sequals it's spawned could be heart attack worthy in the annoyance meter >_<

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
½

It's O.K, if not very low brow. Pretty funny in certain parts

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
½

I highly recommend this movie to anyone who is a fan of British humor or sillyness in any form. Some peole may hate this movie, but I think for the middle and end of the film alone, it is by far one of the most watchable comedies out there today- especially with the deadly loss of classic brit humor on the market lately

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

O.K... I WISH I could blow things up by screaming obcenities ^-^

Candyman
Candyman(1992)

A good Clive Barker film. See this if U loved Hellraiser.. Candyman may not be a Pinhead, but it's still pretty good

The Break-Up
The Break-Up(2006)
½

I liked it, and I often HATE romantic comedies. The ending is bad, but in a way, it's almost refreshing.
Seriously, how many good romantic comedies worth their salt can actually pull off having the leads in the movie to not be all annoyingly fake romantic, and still come off as good?

The Lion King
½

lol, well, this movie MAY be why I am so weird. WHen it first came out (and I was a tot) my mum sat me and my sis in the front row! Imagine being THAT close to a roaring lion!

Who Framed Roger Rabbit
½

This one is an all time Loony Tunes-esque comedy classic! What's NOT to love?

The Waterboy
The Waterboy(1998)
½

Classic Sandler :)

The Sound of Music

'The hills are alive with-" The plot copying of The King and I. Bah,

Scary Movie 4

Ugh. i honestly wanted to love this, but even if only a parody, they managed to mangle the plot so horribly that they only got away with one or two half decent parts (i, e, The Village) where as the rest came off as if dreamt up by retarded monkey hopped up on suger and given computer access

Me, Myself & Irene

My favorite jim Carret movie!

Fluke
Fluke(1995)

This is, for the, the ultimate cry-movie. If U don't feel sad for this poor reincarnated man turned into a golden retriever puppy, then what would make U cry? A broken leg?!

Bambi
Bambi(1942)

No... doesn't ouch me at ALL :/

Monty Python and the Holy Grail
½

I highlt recommend this film to anyone with a quirky or dark sense of humor!

Bad Santa
Bad Santa(2003)

Sick, disgusting, and a complete fire-at-will upon Christmas's most cherished and time honored beliefs. I LOVED IT!!

Monsters, Inc.
½

Sweet. I may be more into darker and bloodier films, but I always cry at the end of Monsters, Inc.

The Sixth Sense
½

M. Night Shamalan is a genius

Fun With Dick and Jane
½

Jim Carrey plays a man who decides to steal what he wants once he loses his job. It's supposed to be a comedy, but like most contemporay comedies, they tend to show all of the funny part in the previews,and add absolute garbage as fillers. Despite this, the few truely hailarious parts are worth the many grievances I have for the film;Jim Carrey dressd from head to foot in ninja wear and tormenting a tied up man by doing weird arm and leg movements while talking in a voice changer is wel worth a trip to the local video rental place... if you have a high tolerance for at times slow humor, and you are a Jim Carrey fanatic

Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice(1988)

lol, I LOVE this movie. Beetlejuice is also one of my favorite movie characters,as well as one of my favoritecartoon characters (I used to watch the cartoon spn-off when I was really, really little)

Scary Movie 2

Ugh. I must have seen this movie a thousand times, so maybe I just don;t like it because I've seen it so many times

An American Haunting

Cool movie, and I am a sucker for any movie with genuine connections to freaky paranormal stuff. I have a BIG book of Ghost stuff (don't ask;) and yes, the Bell Witch is in it. Awesome and wel thought out, I'd say

Reservoir Dogs

Talk about awesome Tarantino classics! I love this movie- it's one of my favorite movies!

A Nightmare on Elm Street

U can't get much more classic Wes Craven than this. lol, this movie has one of the coolest lines from movies of all time (I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy), and Freddy is one of the best classic movie maniacs of all time! I highly recommend this to those of U who haven't seen it

Orange County

lol! This has to be one of the funniest films with Jack Black in it that I know of!

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
½

An obvious classic of a movie with quite a large cult following, my only (and obvious complaint) is that it's a bit different from the book

Final Destination 3

The tanning bed scene is one of the most shocking movie scenes- especially for girls I know who tan alot! Although the version with the "multiple endings" was an obvious rip-off, (and I had never seen the prequals) I enjoyed it immensly :)

Anger Management

Hilarious. Plain and simple aggrevated anger makes for pure comedic genius