FelicethePiece's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Wassup Rockers

Unfortunately not released in Australia yet, this is a realistic slice of life of 7 teenage boys as they romance slutty posh girls, get into trouble with cops, get into fights with pretty boys, have fun and skate. Excellent.

Melinda and Melinda
½

A charming comedy/drama, that leaves a smile on your face.

Valkyrie
Valkyrie(2008)

Way too Hollywood, but interesting, good looking and well made nonetheless.

Knowing
Knowing(2009)

Hmmm, Nic Cage is a bit poo, but it has some spectacular destructions.

X-Men Origins - Wolverine
½

Absolute fun. Machismo to the end.

BloodRayne
BloodRayne(2006)
½

Bloody hilarious. In a bad way. Worst script ever, costumes that look freshly made with modern machines, budget weapons and even cheaper actors. POOR (Good setting...)

My Name Is Bruce
½

So bad it's good? Almost.

Spy Game
Spy Game(2001)

Decent and engaging enough story line, good cast, entertaining action.

Let the Right One In

Fantastic, thrilling, brilliantly shot, and has some really original scenes. Creepy.

JCVD (Van Dammage)

Very arty, often amusing, quite well made.

Global Metal
Global Metal(2008)
½

Highly entertaining and engaging, very insightful and interesting. A worthy sequel and definitely a must see.

W.
W.(2008)

Fucken awesome. Funny, visual and very engaging.

Watchmen
Watchmen(2009)
½

Eh. It's visually spectacular, the sound is intense, the violence awesome. The costumes are ridiculous and that young Jupiter woman cannot act. Colourful and brilliantly shot, but the story is not gripping or engaging or even eventful. Entertaining to look at and very busy and detailed, but the plot sucks.

Ghost Town
Ghost Town(2008)

Light and enjoyable, slightly predictable and everything that is offered by its trailer.

Changeling
Changeling(2008)

Like a meaty book with numerous chapters this story is jam packed with interesting characters, plot threads and settings. Definitely worth a watch.

Gran Torino
Gran Torino(2009)

Engaging, moving and very well written, acted and directed.

The Spirit
The Spirit(2008)

Oooooh my god. This film is so bad. I really wanted to like it, and I really wanted it to be visually impressive, but it fails in every way.
The story is boring and uninteresting. The characters (who I know are supposed to be funny and cartoon-like) are over the top and LAME.
Visually it is okay, but nothing that hasn't been covered (exquisitely) in Sin City.
It's like a young boy that tries to be like his cooler older brother, and only embarrasses himself in his attempts to be cool and funny.
Bomb.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno
½

Very light, highly enjoyable and hilariously funny.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona
½

Another interesting, funny, charming, unique Woody Allen film, so bluntly realistic and human.

Twilight
Twilight(2008)

Average average average. No sexiness, not much sexual tension, minimal action and a storyline that takes an hour to get into. Once the characters have been developed it gets better, the Cullen family being the best part of the movie. The camera shots are so close up it feels incredibly claustrophobic.
Bring on the next one, which will hopefully be more engaging.

The Onion Movie

Fairly funny, consistently. Satire is always good and knowledge of current affairs and celebrities is especially useful to appreciate some jokes in this film.

Max Payne
Max Payne(2008)

Decent enough action movies with some great shots.

Zombie Strippers
½

EeGaad. It's bad. Deliberately funny most of the times, okay make up and fantastic strip scenes! It's about as bad as you can expect from a straight to dvd horror with a self explanatory name. Good for a bit of a giggle.

Speed Racer
Speed Racer(2008)
½

Rolicking ride, good fun, colourful beyond words. Absolutely delightful, funny and exciting.

Defiance
Defiance(2009)
½

Not too shabby a war drama about Russian Jews hiding out in the forest in WWII. Some great action and good acting. Daniel Craig is a very watchable lead.

Slumdog Millionaire
½

Well directed, interesting story and highly engaging. Another piece of gold for Danny Boyle.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
½

Though slightly long nothing falters this film. The story is unique and interesting, the acting and cast superb, the direction and cinematography precise and beautiful. Highly recommended.

Australia
Australia(2008)
½

Absolutely over the top, melodramatic, glamourised, embellished events of Australia's past. But with all the romance, action, suspense and comedy you could want in a big film. Entertainment, perhaps not at its best, but at its most extreme.

Traitor
Traitor(2008)
½

A well written political thriller, often suspenseful, dramatic and well acted. Great ending.

Step Brothers

My kind of comedy. I thought it was well written and both Ferrell and Reilly were hilarious.

Transsiberian

Highly glum and depressing. Strong characters with unpredictable actions, nothing is what you expect and nothing is black and white. A very strong drama.

Burn After Reading
½

Very funny, light humour. A nicely interwoven almost confusing story, very well written.

Quantum of Solace

A strong action movie, but doesn't hold up against Casino Royale.

Mirrors
Mirrors(2008)

It has its creepily effective moments, it's incredibly violent and the story is good. But the explanation doesn't really fit together well, and it becomes incomprehensible in the second half. The last scene is better than the rest of the film!

WALL-E
WALL-E(2008)

Incredibly cute and very well animated. It doesn't need to have much dialogue to still have an engaging and interesting story line. Fun for the whole family and easily rewatchable.

Saw V
Saw V(2008)
½

I never thought I'd say this about a film... ever: there is too much story. Whenever anyone was talking it felt like a midday movie. The two main male characters (the cops) were the two worst actors that could ever have been chosen AND were given the worst dialogue and scenes AND looked exactly alike which confused me for the first 15mins.
The trials and tests of the 5 people were exactly what i wanted, yet there wasn't enough of these scenes - and the best character was killed off almost immediately!
The twist for the 5 wasn't bad, but the twist for the cop was dull.
Poor.

RocknRolla
RocknRolla(2008)

Incredibly well written and very well acted. All the characters are interesting and the dialogue is funny and smooth. The story is complex but not too convoluted.
Not as instantly classic as, say, Snatch or Lock, Stock, but certainly a well made film. Bring on The Real Rock'n'Rolla

Body of Lies
Body of Lies(2008)
½

A bad B-movie name, but a solidly made thriller. Very similar to The Kingdom in setting and story, but not as entertaining. A decent political thriller, but not really that memorable.

Hell Ride
Hell Ride(2008)

A poorly executed film with only a couple of good actors (Balfour, Hopper, Madsen) and an incredibly bad story complete withanti climax.
The dialogue is completely over the top and convoluted and tries so hard to be a Tarantino match.
An ugly lead, ugly broads and ugly bikes. sorry.

Battle in Seattle

Highly interesting, well made film based on shocking and frustrating real events (the violence I mean). Great story.

Sleuth
Sleuth(2007)
½

Over the top plot, convoluted dialogue. Slightly entertaining, but nothing overly great.

The Strangers

Absolutely no story, but good for a short, shallow thrill.

Diary of the Dead
½

Eh, not bad. Not great, but not bad.

Babylon A.D.
Babylon A.D.(2008)
½

Good for Vin Diesel being buff in an apocalyptic world. The poor man's version of Children of Men. Inferior in every way.

Street Kings
Street Kings(2008)

A really strong, engaging and smart story well made. Great action (incredibly realistic and violent). Two thumbs up.

Death Race
Death Race(2008)
½

Pure and simple adreniln pumping fun. Spectacular car chases, crazy cars and cool chicas. Entertaining till the end.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Hellboy 2)
½

Guillermo can do action and fantasy and keep you entertained for ages. He cannot direct actors, however, or write dramatic dialogue. The comedy isn't bad, but when the ladies especially have something to say it sounds forced and wooden.
But then again we see it for the action right?

Funny Games
Funny Games(2008)
½

An incredibly chilling story, and really well made film. The suspense is unbearable, often frustrating. The middle few scenes with the parents drags heavily, but when all the cast are involved it succeeds in keeping you on the edge of your seat or clawing at your chair in suspense.

Barbarella
Barbarella(1968)

Hilariously bad. But not terrible; so bad its great.
Like a porno without the graphic sex!

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
½

Laugh out loud funny, over the top and gross out. Lots of fun with friends.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

I found this film a complete mess. Badly written, poorly acted and boring.
Maria Bello, a fine American actress, was not only out of place and couldn't pull off the English accent, she actually forgot how to act. Or maybe it was just the script and film in general pulling her down...
Shite.

Planet Terror (Grindhouse Presents: Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror)

Oh so much fun. Laugh out loud comedy and fantastic gore and violence. Definitely a social film.

Tropic Thunder

I was crying with laughter (in the good way) before the film even began (you'll know what I mean).
Great story, fantastic cast and acting, excellent comedy. Consistent and outrageous, this is one I'd definitely see again, and again.
Check it out (if not at movies, def on dvd).

Red Road
Red Road(2007)

Hmmm, a bit full on, but intriguing nonetheless. Martin Compston is always good, though I don't think I could give this more than one watch.

Taken
Taken(2009)

EVERYTHING I wanted it to be. Conflict at the beginning, followed by Liam Neeson hunting men down in smart and feasible ways and kicking ass in style. A complex, and generally awesome character whose journey is enjoyable to follow. Great fun.

Redbelt
Redbelt(2008)

Wow. What a solidly written adult drama.
The story surrounds a handful of strong characters, primarily Chiwetel Ejiofor and his jiu-jitsu acadamy. He encounters money troubles and new people, and thinks he finds a way out of certain predicaments.
The pacing isn't super quick, but the drama is engaging and the dialogue and story are really good. It all comes together in a climax that is so unbelievably awesome I wanna see it again so soon.
Highly recommended.

Meet Dave
Meet Dave(2008)

Um, it's a good family comedy I guess. It's everything you'd expect if you've seen the trailers and Murphy's other recent harmless movies.

Never Back Down

What can I say? I wanted shirtless American teens beating fuck out of one another and I wasn't disappointed.

Son of Rambow

An awesome and light British comedy.

Pineapple Express
½

What a disappointment. About stoners, probably written by stoners, and appears to have been made by a completeley stoned crew. Hence it would probably only be good to watch if stoned.
The best lines in this film matched the weakest lines in a superior film like Superbad or Knocked Up. The rest were just lame.
Don't bother.

Wanted
Wanted(2008)

Ee gahd!! Well, the story ain't all that bad. It's an over the top tale about assassins. Angelina looks hot, James starts out nerdy and gets cool, bullets bend and slow mo ensues for most of the friggin film.
There are some great special effects, but there are terrrible plot points and ideas incorporated into it, trying to disguise themselves as awesome.
Entertaining enough, especially at the cinemas with the right people, but otherwise it's a naff affair. Eh.

Hancock
Hancock(2008)
½

A okay way to spend a few hours. The trailers gave away too much, however, even the big reveal.
Will Smith was comfortable in his comedic role, Jason Bateman was a good support.
The story was acceptable, the action pretty fun. It was funny, though there was the odd lame laff. Slightly better than average, but not by much.

Deception
Deception(2008)
½

The first half is all about sex, Ewan McGregor and Michelle Wiliams. Hot.
The last half reveals twists and turns etc and is quite entertaining. B-grade, but still good.

Gumby: The Movie

Ew. This film is bad. It has a poxy storyline surrounding a dog that cries pearls. What a shambles.

Be Kind Rewind
½

A harmless and sugar sweet comedy.

The Dark Knight

Yes alright. It is so unbelievably well written. The pace is fast, the dialogue memorable, the story is smart. The entire last half minutes builds up to an amazing climax. The characters are solid and interesting, and the action is tasty. The tunnel car chase is truly spectacular.
Oh, and see this in IMAX, it is worth every cent.
Top of the list for best film of the year.

Run Fatboy Run
½

Not too shabby a comedy. Sweet, harmless and British.

High Tension (Switchblade Romance)

What a slasher flick. It gets straight into the violence and doesn't let up for the entire film. The ending will have your jaw dropping.
Slickly shot, suspenseful and fast-paced, this film is a horror lovers dream.

Cry-Baby
Cry-Baby(1990)
½

What an outstandingly well made film. The colour, the choreography, the characters! The hair, the songs, the make up. So wonderfully exquisite to look at, set in the 50s and surrounding rival groups the squares and drapes. Johnny is at his cutest and John Waters is at his most outrageous.

Stander
Stander(2004)

A smart, solid, dramatic heist film with meaty, realistic characters and a wicked story line. Well worth the watch, especially because it has brains and is set in South Africa and not a generic Western country. Thomas Jane is the new MAN!

Teeth
Teeth(2007)
½

What a fantastic concept. This unique black comedy is highly entertaining, though it lags a bit in the middle. It is well worth watching nonetheless, just so you know that you really have seen everything.
Ironic though that the bit that was unbelievably wasn't the "vagina dentata" but the fact she so swiftly changed from Christian prude to sexual seductress.

Mongol
Mongol(2008)
½

A great epic tale following the childhood and early adulthood of Temudgin, later known as Genghis Khan. The battles are violent and captivating, and the rest of the story is interesting, if not a little slow. Because there is so much story to get through, spanning 3 or 4 decades, in just 2 hours there is a bit of jalty cutting, but you get all the information needed for each phase in his trying life. And it needs more bloody action. ha.

Get Smart
Get Smart(2008)

A slight disappointment. Not as rip snortingly funny as the trailer made it look, but charming and delightful nonetheless. Alan Arkin seemed to get all the best lines, but the rest of the cast were good. A nice family film, and didn't lag even at a 2 hour running time.

The Last Castle
½

Not a half bad prison action drama. James Galdofini is nothing less than awesome, and Robert Redford makes the simplest of dialogue outstanding somehow. The final showdown/uprising is pretty cool!

Anakonda im Netz
½

I'm surprised this is on here!
Yes, it's a very enlightening documentary on Rammstein, more specifically info and interviews about their last years of touring (c. 2005).

The Forbidden Kingdom
½

Fun, light and entertaining. The plot is good, but it is bookended with a cliched Americana setting. Meaning when the kid is in his usual world things are cheesey and predicatble. When in Ancient China things are fast paced and actiony fulfilling every 12 year old boy's dream. And mine.
Jet Li and Jackie Chan have some pretty awesome combat between themselves and baddies. What more could you want?

Rescue Dawn
Rescue Dawn(2007)

I thought I'd already rated this.
Anyway, it's fantastic. A fantastic drama, with plenty of comedy and highly engaging.

In Bruges
In Bruges(2008)

A strong comedy, with well writting (interesting and funny) characters and a unique setting. Bruges really IS a fairytale town.
Two hitmen go to Bruges, Belgium to lay low after a hit and await instructions from their bossman. Dwarf jokes and Bruges bashing ensues. It doesn't shy away from violence either, which is a plus!
Colin Farrell is a fine actor and proves he can do comedy equally as well as drama.
Definitely worth a look.

Scanners
Scanners(1981)

An okay thriller, with some fantasic gory effects. The exploding head being the obvious winner, but the veins at the end were pretty gross too.
Too slowly paced to be entirely engaging, but the story is a good one. Pity the setting and characters aren't too interesting.

Mean Girls
Mean Girls(2004)
½

A quality girls' comedy. Fantatsic jokes relevant to the setting (and what a fine setting it is). It holds up over time and is easily watchable.
I love it more and more each time I watch it!

The Blair Witch Project

This is how to make an effective low budget film that avoids the need for over the top violence.
It is chilling, often a little scary and well made (for 8 days of shooting!).
The last scene is truly haunting.

The Orphanage

A chilling and suspenseful thriller/drama. Well made and well acted. Has its creepy moments, but sometimes the music doesn't quite fit. Good overall.

The Bank Job
The Bank Job(2008)

A bank heist movie with brains. It has a very strong, reliable story, solid characters and generally well written.
Engaging from start to finish and not curbed by censorship and rating restrictions.

The Happening

A really good story, but a poorly written film (dialogue especially). The violence is awesome (though sometimes unecessary, and sometimes really OTT and funny). Though Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel are fine actors they don't quite fit the characters in this film. Or maybe it's that the characters are not well written.
Highly entertaining and worth a look.

The Kingdom
The Kingdom(2007)

A good drama with a strong story. Very well made with an all star cast, fantastic and engaging action and overall a quality drama.

300
300(2007)

It is so hard to rate this film. Okay, so i know that it is not supposed to be taken seriously, but....it's soooooo bad. A gay man's wet dream pretty much. Oh the BUFF-ness. There is so much testosterone in this film, in every character, in every grunt and step and thrust of spears. Everything is in slow-mo, everything is EXAGGERATED. It's bizarre how terrible this film is and yet so appealing. Why oh why did ANY of these actors sign on to this catastrophe of a film.
That said I thought it was pretty intense and entertaining for the first hour, and then it got reallllllly boring. Boring as fuck, and there was such an anti-climax I thought all the awesome gratuitous violence was undone by a lacklustre ending.


Whatever.

The Counterfeiters

A strong real life story that's pretty hard not to make well into a film! Fine performances and well made overall. Quite engaging.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

A great fun action-adventure with a greatly loved fave character, plus some new goodies/baddies. Cate Blanchett literally glows on screen -beautiful. And Shia LaBeouf in that motorcycle cap? Mmm-mmm.
So much better the second time, really.

Iron Man
Iron Man(2008)

Totally awesome comic book movie. Funny, action-packed and highly entertaining. Robert Downey Jr. is the man.

30 Days of Night
½

A-a-a-AVERAGE. Yeah, nothin' special about it, but it's okay for a Friday night no-brainer.

The Lookout
The Lookout(2007)
½

A surprisingly solid drama/ bank heist movie with well written characters and an engaging storyline.

Die Hard: With a Vengeance

A good, fun, quality action adventure with good ol' Brucey-babe and too-cool Samuel L. Definitely worth a watch.

Death Defying Acts

Not a very engaging story, but it was okay to look at and performances are...not bad.

Metal: A Headbanger's Journey

Really insightful doco, not requiring the love 9or even like) for metal music. Humorous and featuring really good interviews.

Gone Baby Gone
½

Wow, this is how to write a film with a strong, engaging story. This is how to direct great actors and this is how you make the story come alive.
Kudos to Ben Affleck, he has made a fine film. A good contender in best films of the year so far.

Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!

Wow, how animation is used these days. Exquisite to look at, Horton is an elephant who makes friends with the mayor or Whoville, which just happens to be entirely contained withing a speck on a clover. Bizarre yes. Boring no.
The jokes are rip snortingly, laugh right out loud funny. Highly enjoyable, with a touch of evil, it's one for all the family. Loved it!

Hitman
Hitman(2007)
½

What can I say? It's definitely my kinda film.
Action galore, lots of sex appeal and very fun. Light and requiring no brain cells (though the story is a little hard to follow).

3:10 to Yuma
3:10 to Yuma(2007)
½

A really quality drama with fine actors and a highly engaging story.
The characters are not black and white but many shades of grey, the dialogue is solid and the recreation of the era is flawless.
A very well made film indeed. And a good ol' Western

Jumper
Jumper(2008)

Yeah, it's as everyone says. Badly made and very shallow. A kids film basically!

Dead Ringers
Dead Ringers(1988)
½

I really disliked this film. Firstly it wasn't engaging, and it was ultra creepy (and that's not a bad thing at all, it's unnerving), but everyone was just so unlikeable.
So Jeremy Irons' performance was great in the dual roles but woman - Claire - ugh. What a foul human being to look at and listen to etc etc.
So I got nothing out of it, except that I liked the red surgical costumes in one scene. Otherwise, I wasted 2 hours.

Trainspotting

Single greatest film ever made. One of the best films ever written. Every character is hilarious, genuine and so very real. The acting is nothing short of flawless; the soundtrack is classic; the story completely engaging. It's so jam packed full of material that it feels like it goes for ages, when it is such a short and sweet film. I can never tire of watching this film. Go read the book.

Vantage Point
½

Entertaining enough, with a good story and enough in it to keep it engaging and interesting.
Unfortunately the great Forest Whitaker was the WORST character in this, all sympathetic and clucky and overnice.
Dennis Quaid also got some poxy lines in the last few scenes.
Matthew Fox doesn't get enough screen time and so is relegated to the "i'm cute but boring" kind of actor, which is a shame.
The end car chase is awesome and the outcome of all the little stories and characters is satisfactory.

Joyeux Noël (Merry Christmas)
½

Wow, this was so much more beautiful than I could've imagined. The story is magnificent: on Christmas Eve 1914 both sides of men in the war cease fire for the night to fraternize with the opposition. The Scots and French with the Germans, conversing over coffee and champagne, photos and memories, a cat and a few games of soccer.
It is moving, sweet and touching. A must see.

Paranoid Park

A beautifully crafted film from a great director.
Well acted, well written and performed there is nothing at all at fault with this film. I can see myself liking it more and more everytime I watch it.
It is exactly how I had hoped it would be based on the trailer and reviews etc. Perfect.

10,000 B.C.
10,000 B.C.(2008)

A poor, poor film, with a boring story (oh so Apocalypto, but without the quality), cheesey dialogue and generally just BAD. It did have nice sweeping overhead shots looking down on characters in beautiful landscaped surroundings, and the mammoths are truly well created. But there's no emotion, no action and nothing at all holding it together.
Don't bother paying money to see this, but watch it to see just how poor it was in comparison to its fantastic trailers.

The Mist
The Mist(2007)

Knowing that Frank Darabont directed it is a strong indication of the quality of the film. And Stephen King, of course, is a hint at what kind of story and characters you can expect.
And so the story is a good one: a genre-film maybe (monster movie / thriller) and the characters are awesome. Really well written people, played by a good cast with great dialogue and plot turns.
It is gripping, has really high quality CGI and special FX and is overall a really well made film. Pity it isn't more popular.

Half Nelson
Half Nelson(2006)

Fantastically shot, incredibly well acted and a realistic, slow and poignant story.

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

Quite bizarre, but very colourful and sweet. It didn't overall grab me, but it had it's moments.
Uma was good as always, but Rain Phoenix is not a very good actor!
See it if you are a van Sant fan, but if you don't see it you're not missing out on anything!

Human Traffic

A hedonistic, self-indulgent and drug-glorifying film that wishes so hard that it was Trainspotting. It is inferior to the aforementioned film in every way. It has it's funny moments, but it is overwritten and oozes pretense. Danny Dyer and John Simm (mmm) being in it makes it bearable. And the end scenes are good.

Junebug
Junebug(2005)
½

Though the story is simple/basic - newly weds visit his parents for first time together - there was still something about it that engaged me, even though nothing really happened. The characters are all good, Ashley especially, because she is bubbly, bright and infectiously happy. Everyone else is pale in comparison to her, but they still exude charm and pleasant personalities.
Simple yet effective, it's worth a watch.

Idle Hands
Idle Hands(1999)

Admittedly well written and made with fantastic make-up and special effects. The actors all do a decent job with the material and there Fred Willard is good to see. Some of it is cringe worthy violent, sometimes cringe worthy lame, but overly a fun/funny film.

Jersey Girl
Jersey Girl(2004)
½

Eh, it's cute and sweet and all, but some the dialogue is jilted, sometimes overwritten. Sometimes it's funny, but overall it isn't anything worth actually watching. Like, you're not missing out on anything if you don't see this. J.Lo sucks balls. Ben Affleck is a pretty unattractve man, and Jay isn't in it.

We Own the Night
½

Average average average. Average as hell. Average story, average characters, average (good but not fantastic) acting. I only saw this for Mark Wahlberg, and he ain't bad, but the film does nothing to support his acting skills.

Rambo (Rambo IV)
½

Mein gott this film is violent. VIOLENT I tells ya.
It has some effing cheesey lines and awful interactions between characters, but when Rambo gets into the kicking of the arses he rocks. Watch a little drunk, with friends and you'll be entertained for a short period of time (it's only about 85 minutes long).

Black Sheep
Black Sheep(2006)

My kind of comedy. Funny gore, bad jokes, general lightness that provides a fantastice movie night with friends.

The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse
½

If you are a fan of the short running British comedy series 'League of Gentlemen' then you will already know that this is the film that concluded the League's decade long career of comedy together.
The League are: Steve Pemberton, Mark Gatiss, Reece Shearsmith and Jeremy Dyson. The former of the three appear as 90% of the characters within the show, set in the bizarre, and often sinister, fictional town of Royston Vasey.
The plot isn't as simple as the episodes of the show, though it certainly isn't as sinister. It's funny, entertaining, original and clever: when the characters of Royston Vasey discover that their world is about to end they find a way into our real world to track down their creators and put a stop to their cancellation. Genius!
Cue all your favourite characters: Edward and Tubbs, Geoffrey Tipps, Hilary Briss and, of course, Papa Lazarou, interacting in the most outrageous way with the actors and writers that portray them.
This film no doubt makes more sense having seen the series, but it stands on its own as a fantastic comedy that is certainly worth a look.

Fast Food Nation

An interesting look at fast food chains with sharp humour and decent intertwined stories. The last few scenes are really effective, and all performances are great.

Elephant
Elephant(2003)

Friggin brilliant. Beautiful, moving, realistic, serene, and tragic. The actors don't have to be pro for this to feel like a real event that was filmed.
Every time I see it I love it more and more. It is edge of your seat gripping and the ending will have you shocked and appalled. A film everyone must see before they die.

Seed of Chucky
½

Fucken hilarious comedy horror. It is inhabited by crazy characters and an over the top story, funny dialogue that takes the piss out of numerous horror movies, and is completely entertaining.

There Will Be Blood

Daniel Day-Lewis is a legend.This is hard drama and even with the long running time is almost always engaging. The stand out scenes are when Daniel Plainview speaks with his son in one of the last scenes, when one of the oil well explodes and nearly kills his son, the opening scenes of course and the final, shocking scene.
Day-Lewis is also supported finely by Paul Danno.
Not quite as good as Magnolia or Boogie Nights, but close!

Running With Scissors
½

A bizarre comedy drama. It's like the most realistic version you'll get of the Addams family.
It has morbidly black humour and really touching sad moments.

The Brave One

Not a bad drama thriller, with fine performances from Jodie Foster and Terrence Howard. It's well made and directed, but all the voices of the callers to Erica's radio show sound so over the top and fake, which is a shame cos it really brings down the realisticness of the film.
Engaging and entertaining, but nothing more than a decent weekend popcorn drama.

Silent Hill
Silent Hill(2006)
½

The story is a bit crap, but there's no doubt this is a well designed film. The visuals are truly scary and I give it kudos for being the first film to truly creep me out in a very long time.
The score is also really good.

Hairspray
Hairspray(1988)

A really colourful, charming and even thoughtful film. Tracy is a likeable lead and her surrounding characters are equally appealing. The costumes, hair dos and dance pieces are by far the best thing about it.

Hairspray
Hairspray(2007)

Undecided as to whether it's better than the original. That said, it is a fantastically choreographed and directed musical with catchy numbers and colourful sets and costumes. It's funny, sweet and highly enjoyable.

8MM
8MM(1999)
½

First half is a tense and shocking detective story, but at the half way point it does a complete 180 and becomes an average revenge flick with some saving graces. It has a very strong story and is pretty well directed. Not too bad, but not great.

Hollow Man
Hollow Man(2000)
½

Satisfactorily violent, good narrative, well directed action thriller. Good Friday night film.

Tristan & Isolde
½

Not a bad Dark Ages set romantic drama with decent fight scenes, love etc. Though the middle act is slightly over the top with moping galore. The climax is pretty good, though the story is slightly different from the legend that I've read, it's still good.

Good Will Hunting
½

Utterly engaging drama, touching and heartfelt and a little bit cry worthy.

Joy Ride
Joy Ride(2001)
½

It's actually not half bad! It starts off a litle shonky, with stilted dialogue between two air heads, but when Steve Zahn enters the picture all turns to comic and horror gold. A good Friday night flick, that doesn't require many braincells (though, more than your average road slasher flick...).
Great ending.

The Hitcher
The Hitcher(2007)

An extrememly good looking movie (shot well) with decent acting (especially Sean Bean), and it's pretty good for a B-grade kinda slasher flick. Fantastic violence, though infrequent, but it's thrilling and quite fun. Paper thin? Yes. Unexplained ending. Check. But whatever.

The 40 Year Old Virgin

Hilarious, cute and a great ending (including the song).

The Terminal
The Terminal(2004)

Another great film from Senor Spielbergo. Cute humour, genuine characters and touching story. A harmless family film that everyone will enjoy.

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
½

Creative talent, effort and imagination have been put into this resulting in a well made film. But it's not Burton's best.

The Island
The Island(2005)
½

A good popcorn film.

No Country for Old Men

It's tense, it's bloody, it's friggin' scary. Javier Bardem steals the show as the creepy psycho hitman. Smooth direction, fantastic performances and an engaging story. The ending is great, but it's the end scene that is kinda weird, in a slow sort of "what-was-the-point-of-that-scene" way. Otherwise, it is highly recommended. But not rewatchable unfortunately. Becomes quite slow the second time round...

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Visually exquisite, depressingly funny and quite engaging.
The cast is superb, the songs are okay, but make the scenes twice as long as they should be. Things could've been revealed and said in half the time.
That said, it is Tim Burton's best since Sleepy Hollow, though doesn't quite match it.
Worth seeing over and again. Wicked.

Ratatouille
Ratatouille(2007)
½

Average Pixar film, with great animation, an okay story and some good lines. It's nothing special or different, but it ain't all bad. Probably a little too complex for really young audiences too, and it takes about 45 minutes for the friggin story to kick in.

Soul Survivors

Where to start...?
Okay, here's what's terrible about this film:
-the casting of Eliza Dushku
-the lack of story (which, um, is pretty vital)
-Wes Bentley's acting (in other films he's not bad, but in this - )
-every item of clothing in this film. It's like the worst of the nineties, but present in 2001.
-the music
-the lack of scary moments and chills
-the unsexiness from an otherwise okay looking cast
-underuse of Luke Wilson
-the running time. A film like this shouldn't last more than 10 minutes
-the opening credits

Here's what's good about the film:
-Wes Bentley's face
-the fact that no one has heard of it
-when everyone died
-Luke Wilson
-when it ended.

In short, don't bother seeing this film.

The Family Stone

About half the cast are people I like, but the film was just another average family dramedy with neatly tied up endings for everyone and love. Blah Blah Blah.
It had its funny moments, it had its touching moments. But it's meh.
And there's some stupid scene where Luke Wilson blabs on about how in a dream he IS snow. Ugh.

Zathura
Zathura(2005)

An adventurous kids' film, with plenty of laughs and action. It is well written, with witty dialogue and a strong story. It is superbly made with top special effects, animatronics and pretty good CGI.
The kid actors are great and the adults (Tim Robbins especially) are even better.
Entertaining and funny.

Enchanted
Enchanted(2007)

An awesome kids film, that was actually more suitable for adults.
It starts off funny, and continues to take the piss out of classic Disney animations. Amy Adams is perfect as Giselle and brings the cute, innocent, ditzy qualities to the character that is so needed. The rest of the cast is equally as fantastic and the jokes are consistently funny all the way through.
The song and dance in the park about halfway through is a particular highlight, as are James Marsden's puffy sleeves.

Cloverfield
Cloverfield(2008)
½

A thrilling ride from start to finish. The first few seconds were tense since I wasn't sure what I was in for at all when it began and it was good to get to know the characters for the first few minutes at the party.
When the action starts it is edge of your seat and action packed. It is a little scary, especially before you see what/who it is that is attacking New York City.
The ending is satisfying, though I thought it should've ended with the helicopter.
It was short, but felt really long. The sound quality at the cinemas was so good the chairs shook. The effects are near perfect and there's good footage of the attacker(s). Although it's more scarier when there's less footage of it/them.
The handheld gave me slight motion sickness, but it all added to the tension and realisticness. And it had laugh out loud moments. That was a pleasant extra.
A must see at the cinemas and a fantastically made and entertaining film.

The Ring
The Ring(2002)
½

Ugh, and The Ring Two is one of the worst movies ever made.

Halloween
Halloween(2007)

It's good for a slasher/horror flick, but there's nothing fantastic about it. That said, there's nothing really wrong with it either. Sheri Moon Zombie almost ruins the entire first act for being such a TERRIBLE actor, but that kid who plays young Michael is truly freaky.

Juno
Juno(2007)
½

A snappy comedy, a touching story. What a well written film, with an awesome cast and assortment of characters. A truly hilarious comedy that had me in stitches for its duration.
A damn good film.

The Darjeeling Limited

Moving and funny, highly recommended and one of Wes Anderson's best.

Jarhead
Jarhead(2005)

Funny, moving, gripping, gritty, real. Awesomely awesome. A wicked film.

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
½

Beautiful, gripping and chilling. It is completely a visual film, though the story is strong. It creates great tension in establishing the main character's desire for the unattainable, but the ending is somewhat bizarre. Very puzzling, reducing the effectiveness of the entire film up to that point, which is very unfortunate. Good up until that part though.

The Science of Sleep

Stephane is an adorable, yet somewhat creepy, character. Gondry's visual flair turn a relatively simple story into a heartfelt and memorable encounter.

Beowulf
Beowulf(2007)

Well I was pleasantly surprised! A truly memorable cinema experienced when seen in proper 3D. Fast paced (mostly), fantastic action and over all a great film.

Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz(2007)
½

Damn funny film. This is quality filmmaking, great action comedy. GREATEST action comedy! (Not quite as good as Shaun, but close)

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
½

Poignant and moving. Great cast, beautifully shot and smooth direction. One of the best of 2007.

Death Proof
Death Proof(2007)
½

What fantastic film making. Though the first half of the film seems to be repetitive girlies talking boys and crap the last half is pure adrenalin pumping action between cars. Edge of your seat excitement and laugh out loud funny.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
½

As average as the first. After the Silver Surfer it was Johnny Storm who stole the show with his charismatic delivery of jokes. That's about it. Blaaaaaand.

Epic Movie
Epic Movie(2007)

Why, OH WHY, did I put myself through this?! I expected it to be bad but it was actually WORSE than I could've imagined. Now that's bad!

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

It has its moments, but each joke ran twice as long as it should've. The scenes were long and drawn out, except for the racing scenes which were exciting and entertaining. The rest however was pretty good jokes stretched out far too long into mediocre territory. Sacha Baron Cohen was great, and Amy Adams was cute and the rest were all doing their job... I guess.

Rogue
Rogue(2008)
½

A monster movie that is everything I wanted it to be. Tense, funny, aggrivating and exciting, it ticks all the right boxes in film entertainment. See it with no expectations and it will not disappoint!

I Am Legend
I Am Legend(2007)

Creepy, mysterious, suspenseful and intriguing, Will Smith is a likeable main/only character in a deserted New York. It's very VERY much like '28 Days Later...' but lacks the intimacy between audience and characters. It also doesn't quite have the style that 'Days' has.
The CGI is often not quite believable removing the seriousness and realisticness of it the action/suspense/story.
A great Friday night social film, but it ends so abruptly that you pretty much forget everything about the film in 2 minutes.

Lucky Number Slevin
½

A fairly well written mystery comedy drama with a great cast. The direction is sometimes a bit shonky and weak, but a lot of the dialogue is punchy (though occasionally up itself!). Well thought out plot and ending and good performances.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets
½

A light family adventure comedy, much the same as the first but nothing new. Same characters means same jokes, and nothing overly special. Enjoy it with a family member, or see it if you liked the first. Um, actually it ain't necessary to see. If you liked the first one be happy with watching that one over and again.

Transformers
Transformers(2007)
½

Hilarious and spectacular, Transformers shows how a good, no, GREAT action film should be made. Sam is a lovable main character, as LaBeouf does a great job as a comic lead. The droids themselves have enough personality (and attitude) to make it a completely believable and engaging rollercoaster ride. Prepare to be thrilled and entertained like no other movie has done before. It holds up on dvd and a small screen too.

Shoot 'Em Up
Shoot 'Em Up(2007)
½

Hyperactive and over the top action flick (emphasis on 'action') with good actors, but bad performances. Everyone looks uncomfortable with the things they are told to do and have to say; Clive Owen especially. It's short, but not so sweet. Similar to Crank in it's hyperactivity, but not as engrossing. I had zero feelings for the characters and so didn't care what was to happen to them. It has a few cool as moments, ideas, and lines, but it's overall a pretty shallow and forgettable affair.

The Chumscrubber

Not too bad, but the middle act is quite boring. It has some snappy lines and funny characters, but it falls short in being a long standing awesome cult film. Good cast and performances, and well made.

Hard Eight
Hard Eight(1996)

Not bad for a first feature film, but it isn't as riveting as Anderson's (ironically) longer films. Performances are good and it is tense in many moments.

Small Soldiers
½

Awesome kids film with wise cracks and snappy lines every few seconds. One of the better kids and adult-friendly films around.

The Magician
The Magician(2010)

Good, low-budget, Aussie drama with great performances from unknowns and clever use of limited funds. This is inspiration for all aspiring indie filmmakers. It's funny, dramatic, scary and very well written.

The Fan
The Fan(1996)

One of de Niro's most memorable characters, The Fan is a tense thriller that'll keep you on the edge of your seat as it progresses from a little scary to full blown psychosis. A great Friday night film.

Duel
Duel(1972)
½

Tense and very well made for a low budget first feature film from a great director.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

Charming, heart warming, as sugar sweet as a giant never ending gobstopper and just really nice to watch. Lose yourself in magic and, especially, childhood and just enjoy it.

Atonement
Atonement(2007)
½

The film builds tension so thick it's scary just how the events may pan out. The climax comes about halfway through, and the rest of the film, though not as good as the first half, is sad, genuine drama and quality filmmaking. Joe Wright directs with subtlety and has created the best single, 5 minute, near dialogue free shot in recent cinema. Stellar cast and beautiful music.

A Very Long Engagement

A beautiful, and very sad love story told in the harsh setting of World War I. Everything about this film is perfect. Perfectly crafted, scripted, acted. Utter brilliance from a great director.

The Football Factory

Every time I watch it it moves up a rank of cool. Great story and side-stories, fantastically funny dialogue and just awesome all round.

Ye yan (Legend of the Black Scorpion) (The Banquet)

Shakespearean and Neighbours-ian at the same time. Over the top drama, lots of slow and boring scenes, but some fantastically choreographed fighting, which is, face it, the only reason you wanna see it. Only for hardcore fans of Ancient Chinese melodrama, but falls short in actually entertaining you and lacks engagement.

The Mission
The Mission(1986)
½

Great performances, story and setting. Fantastic last act.

Flushed Away
Flushed Away(2006)
½

Very engaging, lots of funny lines, suitable for grown ups. Great British humour and nice cameos.

Young Adam
Young Adam(2004)

Depressing sex drama. Ewan McGregor is so fine, but story you want it to follow is kept to the sidelines and instead we see Joe (McGregor) bone a lot of different women. Oh well, if it was any other actor it would't be worth watching but...
It's realistic in the sense that the dialogue and acting is believable and the story of the discovered corpse in the canal is very intriguing. The revelation of Joe's connection with the body is revealed in short glimpses, however, and the rest is filler in the form of explicit sex. Who's complaining?

Paris Je T'aime
½

The best snippets of this collection of short tales of romance in The City of Love are the Coen brothers contribution, Tom Tykwer's and of course Gus van Sant's with the ever attractive Gaspard Ulliel. Other highlights are Elijah Wood's vampire romance and Wes Craven's look at a young engaged couple.

Noise
Noise(2007)
½

Good Aussie drama, with fine performances, characters and a fairly intriguing murder mystery.
Very disturbing to see bad things happen on trains and at train stations that i go to frequently...

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

So bad it's good. Ok, not quite. But Jay gets the best lines in the film, and face it: it's fucken funny.

American Psycho
½

Disturbingly violent and psychotic (duh). Kinda scary, too. Plus I really still haven't figured out just what was going on...

Bee Movie
Bee Movie(2007)
½

If you love the humour of Jerry Seinfeld you'll love this. Highly enjoyable, consistently funny, great story. It has really funny characters, and a fantastic final act involving a plane and an undulating giant flower.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
½

Continues to prove that over the years it has held it's own amongst very cleverly written deal/heist/con movies.

Kidulthood
Kidulthood(2008)
½

A brilliant, gritty British film about the harshness of adolescence. Funny, shocking and ultra cool. Excellent performances from all involved, and a killer script.

Die Hard
Die Hard(1988)

Fantastic action film with good ol' Brucey-babe. Snappy and punchy dialogue, great action scenes and a decent story.

Into the Wild
½

Touching, moving, poignant and beautiful.
Chris' adventurous journey into the wild brings him into contact with the sweetest, genuine and lovely characters that he lacked in his original upper class life.
Hirsch proves he isn't just a pretty face and the supporting cast do well to make the film so natural. Great direction and cinematography.

Casino Royale

Good fun, engaging and not overlong as some of you would have it. Daniel Craig does a FINE job, and the stunts are superb. Quality drama, action, adventure, and utterly sexy - Bond AND the Bond girls.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age
½

Biggest disappointment of 2007? Yep.
I had SUCH high hopes for this film, having thoroughly enjoyed the first. Unfortunately this lacked everything that made the first one watchable: no drama, no sex, NO VIOLENCE, bad BAD script, terribly over the top in every way.
Not even fine actors like Geoffrey Rush, Clive Owen or even Cate Blanchett could save this smouldering pile of boring soap. It's like a Neighbours episode set in 16th Century England.
The best thing about this film is undoubtedly the cinematography and costumes. The era is recreated flawlessly. The dialogue, however, was very hammy.

So it's average, but if you had hopes as high as mine you'll be utterly disappointed.

Across the Universe
½

Though it's basically a remake of Hair it is well crafted, entertaining and fully convincing. About halfway through, though, it slams on the brakes and slows down to a crawl - the reverse effect of the last half of Hair. Still a pretty good film though.

Fido
Fido(2007)

A clever idea with some great digs at the era (in whatever universe it's set) and patriarchy. It has potential to be a ripping comedy, but is overall a little too tame to be memorable and outstanding. Some great lines (father says to 10-year-old son "I know you're not supposed to have a handgun....until you're 12...") and moments (shooting kids and burning their bodies!) though! Very colourful and a great performance from Carrie-Anne Moss.

Romper Stomper
½

Hard hitting, realistic, graphic. The characters are genuine; the acting superb. The story is very engaging and the tension is so thick you could slash it with a blade. Quality Australian drama.

Cashback
Cashback(2007)
½

It begins very glumly: Ben (an art student with a fascination for the female body that is borderline pervert) is depressed, insomniac and heartbroken following a bad break up with his girlfriend. The opening scenes have a lot of cliches and slow, "art student" qualitites to it that make it incredibly drawn out and contrived. The film, however, picks itself up with colourful characters and light humour, though the way in which it is shown makes it feel like jokes are being told at a funeral: they have potential to be hilarious but the 'funny' is destroyed by the gloomy feel and miserable tone of Ben's voice over.

It's not all bad. Towards the end, as Ben begins to feel better about himself and discovers new love, the humour lightens significantly and the film even features a classic (very amusing) scene involving a football match between two completely different groups of men.
It has charm and a lovely visual style, making it a treat to gaze at, and is overall quite enjoyable.

Apocalypto
Apocalypto(2006)
½

Tense, graphically violent, exciting and worth every cent. It may just be an action film (with some comedy at the beginning) disguised as an historical epic, but that is what makes it so appealing. Whatever you think it's going to be about it isn't. It's not an historical retelling. It's likely not very accurate and it sheds no light on the Spanish settlement. It's just an action movie, like a video game. Awesome in every way. Go see it.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth(1998)

A superbly made, visually stunning character piece. Performances are fine, direction is strong and the setting is beautiful. Quality drama.

Hannibal Rising
½

It is a beautifully made film, thanks to nice direction from Girl with a Pearly Earring director Peter Webber. There's nothing really bad about it, it's just that it is a familiar story about the origins of a cold-blooded killer and the reasons behind his actions. The story is quite engaging and performances are pretty good, but it isn't a film that is likely to affect you or stay with you. Good nonetheless.

Eastern Promises

A very finely crafted film. Top performances, great dialogue and an engaging story. Well shot and fantastically choreographed hand to hand combat. Quality drama (and violence) at its finest.

Charlie's Angels - Full Throttle

Absolute shite. One of the worst films ever made. Overuse of cables, slow mos, breakbeats and craply choreographed fighting. Dear God if you should ever watch it, watch it to briefly perve on Shia LaBeouf and an Irished-up Justin Theroux. Otherwise, file it under F for Fucken Shit.

Control
Control(2007)

What a film. Whether you're a Joy Division fan or not there's no arguing this is a superbly and very beautifully shot, directed and created film. Probably the best film I've seen this year. It's incredibly moving and Sam Riley's performance is so stellar I consider it one of the best performances ever. EVER.
Outstanding, exceptional. I have nothing but praise for this delicate and insightful film. Perfection.

The Edukators

Well, it didn't start off as captivatingly as I'd hoped, but it turned right around about a third of the way through. It begins as a very melodramatic love story where you just know the girl will fall for her boyfriend's best friend - which is a plot so far removed from the initial revolutionary/anti-capitalist message it seemed to advertise, though it thankfully returns to its themes halfway through the film. Great performances from a cool, young cast (all so very attractive), fantastic cinematography and sweet sounds. Well worth a look.

Babel
Babel(2006)

A poignant, interesting and touching film that is every bit as good as Amores Perros (and about a thousand times better than 21 Grams). The first half introduces us to the characters, connected in some way directly and indirectly, and the last half pushes these characters into intense circumstances that keeps the film riveting in every way. A great character piece from a talented director/writer duo, who know exactly how to portray life's obstacles and raw human emotion on film.

Dead Man's Shoes

A knockout film! So incredibly tense you'll be scared as to how the rest of the film will pan out. The tension is superbly created with limited dialogue; dialogue that is so well written that less is SO much more. Three words from Richard enlightens the audience of his WHOLE character - the impact being all the greater because these are one of the first few words he says in the film. You know 'em when you hear 'em. The other characters are just as scary, flawed and human. The music adds to the intense expectation of something bad happening and all performances are flawless. A quality film from a quality film maker. Dead Man's Shoes is a film everyone should see.

The Last King of Scotland
½

A movie so powerful you walk away from it feeling like you've been punched in the gut. This feeling may have also been caused by some truly graphic and distrubing scenes of violence. Sure Forest Whitaker's performance is brilliant but James McAvoy is, don't forget, the main star, and how moving his performance is.
The film starts off very joyfully as the friendship between Whitaker's President of Uganda Idi Amin and McAvoy's Scottish doctor Nicholas Garrigan flourishes, and slowly develops into a dark and depressing movement into thriller territory. Not a bad thing, by the way, as the ending will have you gripping the seat, and choking back spew! No really, it's quite disgusting.
Man, this one really affected me. See it and you might know why.

Dog Soldiers
Dog Soldiers(2002)
½

A fantastic horror thriller with piss-yourself funny moments and genuine gore. It uses every cent of its low budget to create THE best werewolf themed film, and one of the best horror movies around.

Twin Sisters
Twin Sisters(2005)

Touching, heart warming, and very beautifully shot. The wartime era is recreated superbly and the story is so moving.

Return to Oz
Return to Oz(1985)

Electro shock therapy, four wheeled psycho clowns, giant pumpkin head friends, a wise crackin' chicken and a talking couch. It's a gothic kids film with some truly scary moments. Not completely engaging, but the fabuous set design and originality give it some points.

Get Carter
Get Carter(1971)
½

I'm too ADHD to get through this. Boring.

Black Book
Black Book(2007)

A fantastic story very well written. Performances are top notch, production value high. Entertaining and informative (though it probably isn't all that accurate...). Worth seeing.

Superbad
Superbad(2007)

A fantastic and hilarious teen comedy that ticks all the boxes in reeling in its audience. Awesome characters, constistently funny jokes and THE best dick drawings you'll ever see.

Tristram Shandy: A Cock & Bull Story
½

Has some hilarious moments and is very original. Winterbottom proves he is a talented filmmaker of ANY genre and subject and this is another top film.

Faust
Faust(1926)
½

The special effects are amazing, you wonder how some of them were done back in 1926! The story is tiimeless, and gripping, and it's something that fans of film should watch.

This Is England
½

A very powerful and realistic film with stellar performances from absolutely everyone in it. It immediately opens by setting the scene with visuals and footage of all things 1980s. It grabs you from this moment and lets you go speechless at the last minute. Gripping, moving and top notch. Go see it, now.

Dead Silence
Dead Silence(2007)
½

Horror by the numbers. It had so many unoriginal "scary" moments, like the old "ther's something under the sheet" scare and the "what's that creeping around in the dark tunnel under the house", and the most obvious "ventriloquist dummy has a life/voice of its own". Having said that it did have some genuine chilling moments, though they were few and far between. The detective was a really good character, with his constant shaving and snappy lines. There are a few annoying anit-climaxes, and the "twist" at the end ain't nothing too mind blowing. Hardcore horror fans will enjoy it, but it's an overall average AVERAGE film, with no real saving elements. Go watch Saw instead.

10 Things I Hate About You
½

Overrated. Every female in this movie annoys beyond belief, probably due to the dialogue they're given. The guys do an ok job with what they're given. Kat is as big a cliche as Bianca, making it very hard to like the main character, which really isn't a good thing for the film. It has some sweet moments, and some really funny ones, but the soundtrack is mostly crap and is really doesn't hold up over time.

Becoming Jane

It was a sweet and light love story, but I couldn't help but be sceptical of Anne Hathaway's performance. Everything she said seemed forced, but this may have been because of Jane's dialogue. James McAvoy, as usual, proves he is a very talented (and, yes, good looking) young actor, and he inhabits Irishman Tom completely. It's predictable and has a lot of cliched romantic scenes such as the "let's talk like intellectuals who dislike each other while dancing amoung the other aristocrats" and the "i don't like this headstrong man, yet will eventually love him" and so on. Eh. It's good but not great.

Stardust
Stardust(2007)
½

A light, harmless and delightful fantasy film. The love story was pretty predictable, and some of the dialogue wasn't quite so convincing, but it was overall a well made film. Sienna Miller naturally does "annoying whinging brat", and the major actors are delightful, especially the very handsome Charlie Cox. Very much like Terry Gilliam's The Brothers Grimm, but better.

Inland Empire
½

Not a fan of this one. I loved Mulholland Drive, but, call me shallow, I just didn't enjoy this one. Though it's probably not the kind of film that is to be enjoyed??? It was a real mission watching it. I realise there are so many layers to this, that would require many more viewings to gain an iota of understanding of it, but I don't think I would be able to stretch my mind THAT far. I started watching it with an open mind and I really liked the first hour, which, in hindsight, seems golden in colour. From then on I was just ... watching. It became a blur of grey, haunting me with screams and crazy strobes. I can understand why there are those who absolutely love it but I just cannot. Sorry to all you Lynch fans, but I think this is one of his least impressive to me.

Windtalkers
Windtalkers(2002)
½

Highly offensive.

Factory Girl
Factory Girl(2007)

It's meh. One of the only movies I like Sienna Miller in, but it's still meh. Not exactly boring, but not engaging enough for me to love it. Once again, meh.

The Bourne Ultimatum
½

Fast, gripping, real, edgy and just plain awesome Greengrass delivers and gives us more of what we want from the character we love.

Scoop
Scoop(2006)

Really funny (trademark Woody Allen), and by far the best role Scarlett Johansson's ever had. Hands down. This shows her acting talent off with its tongue poking out to all those twenty something blonde, pretty brat "actresses". Good on her. Even Hugh Jackman, who I found utterly plain and uninteresting, is bearable. Good on Woody Allen for doing that!

Vacancy
Vacancy(2007)
½

Delivers exactly what the trailer promises. It's a light popcorn thriller with enough going on to keep you generously occupied gripping the seat. It relies more on suspense than violence to reel in its audience, which is a good thing, and the opening credits are a nice, and obvious, nod to Hitchcock (namely Psycho). It's not too predictable and has a satisfying ending. See it if there's nothing else showing or rent it for a fun night.

Predator
Predator(1987)
½

Fun, fun, fun. Hilarious, awesome action, generally a wicked film to be enjoyed lightly on a weekend.

The Number 23

One star for Jimmy's performance. Otherwise it was a waste of my time with poor supporting "actors" and a shithouse story (convoluted and pretentious). Don't bother. Watch Tigerland instead, Joel Schumacher's masterpiece.

Amadeus
Amadeus(1984)
½

Very interesting and pretty engaging. Good performances, and spectacular costume and sets.

Anything Else
½

charming and funny, the characters are great and the diaologue hilarious.

Stephen King's It

A creepy horror-ish film, but also an engaging growing up drama (when it's set during their childhood). The ending kind of lost me, though the film overall is excellent.

Sicko
Sicko(2007)
½

Another important and incredibly moving film from Michael Moore. Love him or hate him, you can't deny he is a great filmmaker.

The Man Who Knew Too Much
½

Eh, not bad... not something I could watch again. Had its moments, but not overly memorable.

Vertigo
Vertigo(1958)

Good but overrated. Ending was real twisted and bizarre, but not in a shocking or fantastic way.

The Trouble with Harry
½

A laugh out loud murder comedy, that is surprisingly risque (for its time).

Fracture
Fracture(2007)

Well written, well acted, and Ryan Gosling plays an appealing character and is a very likable young actor. Not a bad murder-mystery/thriller/court room drama.

Mr. Brooks
Mr. Brooks(2007)

A creepy black comedy/thriller, that ticks most of the boxes in producing an highly entertaining movie with great characters. The opeing on screen text is the best ever in any movie.

1408
1408(2007)

Not bad. Has a lot of chlls and scares and is entertaining enough. Perhaps won't hold up on multiple viewings, but a good once off.

The Simpsons Movie
½

A fun, fantastic and gag per minute film. The story holds up for the entire hour and twenty minutes and all the best characters get short on screen moments. Mostly this is the beloved and popular family's time to shine. So many quotable quotes.

Zodiac
Zodiac(2007)

An interesting, yet sometimes drawn out thriller. Fincher's direction makes barely graphic scenes really scary without excessive violence, with fantastic use of old songs and classic no-face breathing. Probably hard to watch again, on account of its long running time, but a film that should be seen at least once.

Live Free or Die Hard
½

An action packed, comic and just plain fun flick. All but the fighter jet action scenes deliver laugh out loud and spectacular crashes, explosions and one liners. The fighter jet scene, though grander than any other scene in the movie, kinda out of place, but in a hard to explain sort of way. Enjoy it for a full blown action comedy, with a smart story.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

A highly enjoyable fifth installment, though it was always going to be a weak story. The book was a bit cruddy, but the film has filtered out the crap to create an emotional and dark chapter in the series of films. It's Harry's film 100%, with very few appearances from Ron and Hermione, which is a little disappointing, but the other supporting characters are great, especially Umbridge (played perfectly by Imelda Staunton). The new director has brought his own style of filmmaking to the film, for the better, though it doesn't quite beat Goblet of Fire (and definitely isn't better than Azkaban). It's short running time meant that a couple more minutes of loose end tying could have been included, in particular a final appearance from the Order, but it's a managable length.

Bridge to Terabithia

A very tame and heart warming children's film, about friendship, life, loss and all those other movie cliches. Doesn't make it bad or anything, in fact there is a great dramatic twist about midway through. Remeniscent of My Girl. Enjoyable and light.

Excalibur
Excalibur(1981)
½

An awesome story in a beautiful setting.

Astérix & Obélix: Mission Cléopâtre (Asterix and Obelix Meet Cleopatra)
½

A really fun and colourful way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

The Italian
The Italian(2007)
½

An interesting journey about a poor orphan boy in search of his birth mother. Very little happens, but all performances are great.

Knocked Up
Knocked Up(2007)

A consistently funny and human comedy for both guys and girls. The male characters really stood out, and there were a lot of great one liners.

Romulus, My Father
½

It is a very depressing film, given the broken and worn characters, the money situation and the dry, bleak outback setting of Australia. It was, however, superbly acted (pretty much by everyone involved) and was heart breaking in parts. Good to see a quality film come out of Australia every once in a while.

Teenage Caveman

This mess of a film proves that even the best directors can make appalling and repulsive choices. The film starts off bad: the human race has nearly been wiped out and a remaining few live like cavemen, under the rule of a didactic paedophile and in fear of God. It just gets worse: six teens from the tribe run away and encounter two superhumans who live in luxury and allow the teens to do whatever they want in the hope of mutating them also. The script and story is like it was written by an illiterate twelve year old, and the actors are all botton of the barrel nobodies with an iota of acting talent shared between them. The movie is pretty much an unsexy soft porn movie taking every opportunity to get its young cast out of their clothes and into each other. There is good make up and prosthetics, but this film will only kill your braincells if you watch it. It's a shame Larry Clarke even considered directing this movie.

Sid and Nancy
½

Provides great insight into the lives and deaths of two very interesting historical characters, though Nancy is an incredibly obnoxious and highly irritating woman. Oldman is superb, and it's awesome to look briefly into the lives of the other Sex Pistols, as with 24 Hour Party People.

Escape from New York
½

An exciting and thrilling action film, with an awesome premise and a lead character (with a great name) so enjoyable to watch.

Dreamgirls
Dreamgirls(2006)

If you like this kind of thing, see it. If not, it's an average musical with unlikable characters, but decent performances. Not engaging enough for someone who didn't want to see it in the first place... God love Letterman's "Heavyset Dreamgirl" jokes.

National Lampoon's Animal House

Paved the way for the current trend of American frat/college/sex movies, like American Pie and the dire Old School. Often very funny.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
½

An adventurous and often funny film, with classic characters, and a lot of exciting action scenes.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
½

It is a wonderfully created fantasy world that is delightful to get lost in. If the whole film followed the kids just going to school for a year I'd love it. Unfortunately the story is crap, and the whole Voldermort thing should have been scrapped for a better plotline. It's fault is that it feels too obvious like a book, with many things missing and sudden jerks to the next scene. If it wasn't so faithful to the book it'd be a lot better. The CGI is very bad, but even the producers realised that at least and improved the next films' FX!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

The story is told well enough, just a shame it's a crappy one. The FX are better, but still poor, but the film is still an enjoyable escape into a fantastic world.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
½

A really well crafted story, and far better than any of the stories of the other movies/books. Cuaron brings a darker and more stylish feel to the wizarding world. The sets are superb, and the CGI has vastly improved on the first two films.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

A fun and imaginative story. The Weasley twins return with added humour, the tournament is quite an engaging storyline, though the bits with Voldermort are a tad drawn out. Overall really enjoyable.

Screamers
Screamers(1996)
½

An interesting setting, and the idea is there, but the story is hardly engaging and is completely forgettable. The love stuff literally comes out of NOWHERE and turns it into a mushy movie. Very strange, and overall very average.

Idiocracy
Idiocracy(2006)
½

A bizarre and brave comedy. The concept is ca-raaaazy, but Luke Wilson, as usual, is really good. Seems to be having a lot of fun. Probably makes his performance stand out a bit more because he is surrounded by idiots (characters) and terrible actors. It has a lot of laughs, and takes a swipe at modern America, and the world's general stupidity, but becomes more and more over the top, turning the obvious mockery of (lack of) intelligence in this world into a very blunt and in-your-face insult.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End
½

It's perhaps that I didn't like the story to begin with that I had expectations that it would be average. I wasn't disappointed and was delighted to watch 2 and a half hours of fantastic characters and swash-buckling adventure. Orlando Bloom isn't too bad in this, but there were a hell of a lot of mushy bits. There were about 4 endings, a la Retrun of the King and there were plenty of laughs to be had. I'm so sick of the rum jokes.

Spider
Spider(2002)
½

Brilliant psychological thriller, with an unguessable ending.

Spider-Man 3
Spider-Man 3(2007)

Had really average expectations for this and was completely taken along for an awesome ride. There was far less cheese in this film (in terms of dialogue) and all the characters were actually likeable - even Mary Jane. It was a lot funnier than the first two, which is ironic considering for a moment Spidey becomes a little baaad, and even though it is long it doesn't feel too drawn out. The climax was certainly spectacular, but the final moments where everyone attones for their sins and forgives everyone else is a tad schmaltzy. Damn that shot of Spidey on the US flag - UGH! And Harry Osbourne's scar at the end looks friggin fake.

House of 1000 Corpses

So much worse the second time. No story, horrible characters crap violence. Even the sequel is better than this!

Nacho Libre
Nacho Libre(2006)
½

Charming comedy that starts off slow but escalates into very funny territory. The fights are the best part of the films and Jack Black's accent changes a lot, from Mexican, to Italian, and even to French at times. Good fun and a delightful afternoon movie.

The Ninth Gate

The music is very comical, which is a polar opposite to the general horror tone of the film. It's certainly a story-driven film, and the story does one helluva job keeping you interested in a bunch of devil-linked books. Some truly unnerving things about it, but Emmanuel Seigner's character is a little craaazy.

Hero
Hero(2004)

Colourful and visually stunning. No story, but that just means you focus all your attention on the visuals!

Spy Kids
Spy Kids(2001)

Funny, and not without it's adult appropriate jokes. A little comic book-y, and very colourful.

Spy Kids 3-D - Game Over

3D, 3 stars. 3D is so cool. Everyone should own at least one movie in 3D. It's not fantastic but it's a hell of an adventure!

Blade II
Blade II(2002)
½

Great popcorn flick with more style than the average Hollywood action crap.

Tigerland
Tigerland(2000)
½

Colin Farrell proves to be a versitile and talented actor, in an equally well made film. Bozz is a humane, empathetic and strong character amongst a hard and violent setting that cracks every other man around him. Schumacher's stand out amongst his other tripe.

Lady in the Water

The music is the strongest element of the film, and the two main characters and actors are fine. Some of the supporting cast, unfortunately, are ugly, ugly caricatures, who irritate and annoy beyond belief.

My Best Friend
½

A harmless comedy, seemingly made for my mum. The story is a bit unbelievable and very formulaic and predictable making it hard to be engaged. It is charming and the last scene is quite amusing and cheeky, but otherwise forgettable.

Curse of the Golden Flower

A delicious visual palette of colour and exquisite costumes and sets. Crazy, complicated story, and wicked end battle. Not as much action as Hero or The House of Flying Daggers yet more bloody. Mental characters constantly bickering and plotting: husband against wife, son against father, brother against brother. Ca-RAZY!

Sunshine
Sunshine(2007)

Utterly entertaining. First half was emotional, last half was so tense. I was gripping the seat! Not as good as 28 Days Later... (obviously not even close to Trainspotting) but a great film from a great director.

Disturbia
Disturbia(2007)

Where to begin? How bout the start. The opening scenes grabbed my attention, but what followed seemed to be a teen comedy! (with some funny moments...) It was messy - very messy. The serial killer, who seemed to be smart and careful for years, went mental and wanted to kill EVERYONE. When it wasn't messy it was cheesy. It did have a few jumpy moments, and a little suspense, but wasn't great. Labeouf was outstanding, but the Sarah-plain-and-tall girl next door is sure to diminish into non-stardom.

Notes on a Scandal
½

Extremely well written, with real characters and dramatic dialogue. The direction of some of the supporting characters, however, was much too forceful, decreasing the drama of the scenes. It's also a film I think will be forgotten soon, never to be spoken of again...

Smokin' Aces
Smokin' Aces(2007)

As colourful, cool and stylish as this was, it was empty. The tense middle sets up for an ending that doesn't deliver, unfortunately. Fun, but lacking. Joel Edgerton is almost unrecognisable, and his character gets quite a few laughs. "Who's Jeremy Piven?"

Stranger Than Fiction

A cute romantic comedy/tragedy, with great performances from the entire cast. The sight of Will Ferrell crying brings a tear to the eye, and it has a satisfactory ending. Feel good movie, though not rewatchable over and over again.

Pan's Labyrinth

Stands on its own as a great period war drama, but the fantasy elements make it an outstanding feature, with stunning visuals and stylish and graphic bursts of violence.

Serenity
Serenity(2005)

Entertaining as hell. A grand conclusion and wrap up to a quality show. The characters all get their moments to shine, the story is engaging, the dialogue is hilarious. The action keeps you entertained and it's all just very Joss Whedon.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
½

I realise that it is the first half of a story, with the rest following in At World's End, but I really didn't like the story. There was a lot of double crossing, and it was funny and entertaining, but it was a little messy and very complicated. Johnny Depp is outstanding as always, but Orlando Bloom emotes less than the damn parrot. It's entertaining and fun, but it is nowhere near as good as the first which is a near-perfect film.

Mulholland Drive

A favourite. Beautiful love story and great mind-fuck ending. A pity this didn't turn out to be a television series. I would definitely have tuned in.

Bloody Sunday

A moving and cry-worthy cinematic masterpiece.

Spider-Man 2
Spider-Man 2(2004)
½

Pretty fun, but Mary-Jane shouldn't speak. J. Jonah Jameson is a fantastic character! Doc Ock isn't too bad a villain, and Peter's internal conflict continues with added brooding.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
½

A near perfect film, with a simple and effective story, a fantastic cast (Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush in particular) and fantastic characters.

The Bone Collector
½

A thrilling and suspenseful serial killer flick, from an Aussie director! The deaths are shocking, the acting is fine, the climax is acceptable. Good Friday night popcorn fair.

Flags of Our Fathers

Eh, not overly engaging, and not as good as Letters from Iwo Jima, but the war scenes are good.

Ghost Rider
Ghost Rider(2007)

Dialogue: crappy. Story: non-existant. Action: pretty good. Music: over the top! Overall: unmemorable. Nic Cage did a good job considering the dialogue and story he was given to work with. After Daredevil then this, Mark Steven Johnson should never be given work again. Stay away from the film industry.

Snakes on a Plane

Funny, distasteful, engaging and all round awesome. I watched it to see people get killed by snakes and I wasn't disappointed! Friggin' hilarious, and an entertaining way to spend an evening at home.

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny

Friggin hilarious and light fun. The songs are great and the story is far out. Enjoy it for what it is.

Grindhouse
Grindhouse(2007)
½

Fantastically entertaining and enjoyable. Planet Terror was fun, gory and adventurous, while Death Proof was tense, funny and gripping. Pure entertainment.

Naked Lunch
Naked Lunch(1991)
½

Too oblique for me to enjoy. Creative and thoughtful, but not for me.

Lilja 4-ever
Lilja 4-ever(2003)

The most affecting, and depressing, film to grace the screen. Lilja is a beautiful, innocent young girl who gets corrupted and unfairly treated in a setting that is equally dire, depressing and dirty.

American Beauty

A brilliant and realistic look at middle age and families. Masterpiece.

Macbeth
Macbeth(2006)
½

This Australian version of Macbeth ticks all the right boxes in roping in its target audience. It stylishly combines drugs, guns, hot witches and cool threads in an action packed, cool ride with one mad mofo. Most of the performances are convincing but sometimes the dialogue doesn't quite work. The flash cars and cool clothes are fine, but the flash of the iPod is enough to make you whince. There are many flaws but it is an entertaining guilty pleasure.

Chopper
Chopper(2001)

Best Aussie film ever made. Enough to make even the strongest of stomached people wanna hurl. Eric Bana puts in a fine performance and the production is excellent.

Gangs of New York

Single greatest historical epic type movie. Not long at all. Bill Cutting is one of the best characters ever created for the screen. The soundtrack is spot on and the costumes are very impressive. The fighting is brutal but the characters all retain a sense of honour, decency and humanity in their actioins.

28 Days Later

A fantastically shot, performed, written, scored movie masterpiece. Desolate London is astounding, and Jim's story is so engaging as other survivors come and go. The middle act is serene and beautiful, while the last act is fast-paced, violent, brutal, and just plain awesome. Each character is likeable, even the soldiers, and the audience is made to feel a close part of the small band of survivors as they cross the country in the hope of escaping the infected.

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
½

Starts off very weakly, but the story, dialogue and performances get stronger as the film progresses. LaBeouf proves to be a fine young actor and it's fantastic to see Martin Compston in another angsty teen role in a feature film following Sweet Sixteen.

28 Weeks Later...

So I was always doubtful it would be as good as the first since I rate 28 days
later... extremely highly and my problem in reviewing 28 weeks later... is that I compare it in every way with the first.

First up it isn't as good as the original. It certainly took the concept and expanded on it very well, with new characters and bigger action. I was impressed
with all major performances, especially the kids and Carlyle, and was well pleased with the violence. That scene involving a helicopter made me whince. I thought it was horrible. It really does stray into Peter Jackson/Sam Raimi comic horror. It reduced the realistic-ness of the scene and didn't fit in with the movie.

It was very tense and always entertaining, but I felt that it lacked the same emotion and isolated closeness of characters than the first one. I realise that there are now a lot more people in London, and that the characters were amongst (I don't know
if I heard this right but I must be wrong) 15 million others?!?!?! (C'mon that's 3/4
the population of Australia...!) And the relationship within Don's family was close,
but ... oh I don't know, maybe it's just cos I didn't like the characters as much as Jim, Frank, Selina, Hannah etc. Even the soldiers in Days were likeable in their own arsehole-y kinda way.

If I don't compare it to the original it is a greatly entertaining and well made
film. Desolate and deserted London is a marvel to look at and the fire bombing scene was spectacular. Good effort from a new creative team.

Night Watch
Night Watch(2006)
½

Wasn't really all that impressed by it, but it is ok. Great subtitles. Not a lot happens in a lot of words, and heaps of scenes are long, drawn out, or plain boring. Gets worse with repeated viewings. What comes after Day Watch? Brunch Watch?

Day Watch
Day Watch(2007)

A good example of how deceiving a trailer can be. All the action in the trailer is all the action there is in this 2 hour plus movie - 5 minutes! An incredibly shambolic mess of a movie, that has maybe one or two action scenes in it (the opening scene is great) and most aren't in it till 2 fucking hours in. A piece of boring, crappy shite.

Bad Education
½

A tense mystery, with a standout performance from Bernal. Not life-changing, but very good.

The Pursuit of Happyness

An absolute sob-story. It starts off in the dreary ditches of a life unsuccesful, and gets worse and worse and just when you think it couldn't get any worse for the characters IT DOES! Fantastically performed, and created, you'll feel for Chris and be captured by his strong will and persistance to provide for his son and become a success. Tear.

Tremors
Tremors(1990)
½

A surprisingly good monster movie. There is just enough intro to the characters to like or hate them, but the action pretty much gets underway quickly. The monsters look awesome, no fake CGI here, and the fun begins.

The Ice Storm
½

The characters are so unlikeable: the adults are self-centred, pretentious posh wankers, and the kids are getting there. There really isn't much of a story, more a character driven movie, which makes it so hard to like. Good last act though, the death changes everything.

Spider-Man
Spider-Man(2002)

Meh. It's entertaining, though there are a lot of cheesey scenes. Like whenever Mary-Jane is on screen.

Once Were Warriors

Can safely say I think it is the greatest film ever written. I can't believe I hadn't seen it before, and I think that every kid in high school should study this.
The story is unsurpassable, the characters, even the smallest roles, have a MASSIVE impact on the story and viewer. The characters are flawed yet human, and written with such depth. The story is a deeply moving one of an abusive father and husband, a long suffering wife, the affected children and the struggle to live in dire circumstances. The violence is brutal; the characters realistic. This is a film that everyone alive should see. See it now!

Where the Buffalo Roam

Quite good. Bill Murray does a great and very convincing job as Thompson, though I couldn't help but think of Johnny Depp the whole time.

15 Minutes
15 Minutes(2001)

Started off really shakily, bad dialogue, average story. But really picked up the pace, had some really effective bad-guy scenes. An overall ok action flick.

Eraserhead
Eraserhead(1977)

Yuck yuck yuck. Gross, skin crawling, stomach turning images and creepy everything else. Yuck!

Tideland
Tideland(2006)

Neither bad nor fantastic, it is beautifully shot and made, but lacks any form of interesting narrative. Her friendship with Dickens has a kind of demented charm to it, but the last half gets incredibly more bizarre. The last scene stands out against the whole film (a good thing) but the film is just a once off. The dolls' heads seem to be (creepily) real, but Jeliza-Rose is not much of a lovable character. She does, however, have an immense maturity about her, which is scary in a way.

Annie Hall
Annie Hall(1977)
½

A great romantic dramedy, with hilarious observations about love, romance, relationships and break ups.

The Host
The Host(2007)
½

Goes from drama to action comedy in half a second. The story is realistic, though drawn out a tad, and the finale is shot stylishly. The monster looks great - top notch CGI - and the characters are likeable. Cute little ending.

Shooter
Shooter(2007)
½

Great thriller with satisfying action and a wicked main character. As if Jason Bourne were a vigilante. Go Mark Wahlberg.

Thank You for Smoking

A good Sunday arvo movie. Greatly satirical, pretty funny, well written characters.

The Fountain
The Fountain(2006)
½

The most visually stunning film I've seen this year. The movie worked well even without a strong narrative, great performances and effects and wicked costume design.

Murderball
Murderball(2005)

One of the best docos I've ever seen. The team players are inspiring, and are strong, resilient and feisty guys. It's awesome to see their home lives but even more exciting to watch their Quad rugby games. Go see it, now.

Crank
Crank(2006)

One of THE funniest films I've seen this year. Don't take it at all seriously and you'll have fun. It's like playing Grand Theft Auto, which makes it all the more fun, and has some truly hiliarious scenes...and a terrible sex scene that almost ruins it. Violence, sex, drugs, language, car chases. Enough to keep you seriously entertained for 80 minutes!

Violent Cop (Sono otoko, kyôbô ni tsuki)
½

It's violent, it's about a cop. It's alright, but not overly interesting.

Domino
Domino(2005)

A nicely conceived storyline and quite entertaining. It seems, thought that in the first half of the film Scott tries way too hard to make it ULTRA cool, and comes off as a little try-hardish. Mena Suvari is excellent.

The Jacket
The Jacket(2005)
½

Daniel Craig is by far the best actor and character in this film. Cleverly written, and shot in good colour.

Bringing Out the Dead

Bizarre and surreal. Has some pretty funny moments and well shot. Nic Cage delivers a fine performance.

Re-Animator
Re-Animator(1985)
½

Great cover, great film. Never boring, hilarious, great gore. Good fun.

Mean Creek
Mean Creek(2004)
½

Excellent performances from all involved. The ending felt very abrupt, as the characters were very easy to like and connect with, so a further exploration of the repercussions would have been interesting. Pretty engaging, yet somehow lacking real emotion. Still good, though.

Speed
Speed(1994)
½

Some truly cheesy lines. Okay action film.

Breakfast on Pluto
½

The first half felt very removed as the events in Kitten's life were skimmed over very quickly. I didn't even learn the names of his best friends till 40 minutes in! The most effective scenes were

Natural Born Killers

Didn't remember how twisted it was. Amazed how I got through it at such a young age. The first half is fantastic and the finale is great. Colourful, out of this world action. good fun.

The Good Shepherd
½

Meh, it was great to look at, performances were tops, but the story was only intriguing for small sections throughout the film.

The Illusionist
½

It is beautiful to look at: costumes by Ngila Dickson, great colour, cinematography, and all that, but each scene seems to be just like the last one. The ending is a bit obvious, a tad predictable, but great performances from all.

Ocean's Twelve

One of the worst pieces of shit ever made.

Thirteen
Thirteen(2003)
½

Realistic, and in a way scary. Nasty little thirteen year old girls...

Marie Antoinette
½

Visually stunning, but not much happens. The tone is trademark Sofia Coppola, and Jason Schwartzman is great in ANY movie.

Identity
Identity(2003)

Starts as a very tense murder mystery, becomes something extremely over the top, but was entertaining nonetheless.

Young Einstein

A childhood favourite.

Reckless Kelly

A childhood favourite.

Mysterious Skin
½

Quite graphic and very disturbing. The story was always intriguing and had great performances from all.

Resident Evil
½

The opening scene is great...but the film is a complete shambles. Over acting, over directed, nothing happening. The last 5 minutes are really good as well, but overall...

The Virgin Suicides

Beautiful, moving and affecting, with some very, very black humour.

High Art
High Art(1998)

Can you say "pretentious"?

Little Fish
Little Fish(2006)

Boring. Can't deny the talent that went into this, but just didn't turn out to be a good film.

Little Nicky
Little Nicky(2000)
½

Surprisingly sweet, that's right: sweet. Creative, mostly funny, good cameos.

50 First Dates

Touching; Sean Astin is HILARIOUS. Otherwise, a charming romcom.

The Mighty
The Mighty(1998)
½

Cute...but schmaltzy!

Bottle Rocket

Cute, very cute. Dignan is a greatly written character, typically Anderson. Quirky and funny in most parts, sad and adorable in others. A must see for all fans of Anderson.

Déjà Vu
Déjà Vu(2006)
½

Not too bad, smart thriller. Quite engaging, and funny. Caviezel makes for a very cool villain.

Cold Mountain

A great story beautifully told, with perfect scenery and a great cast. The opening war scenes are very moving, and the entire soundtrack is effective.

Snatch
Snatch(2001)

Stylish. What more can I say?

Capote
Capote(2005)

Slow paced and not all that engaging. Good performances, and there was a certain closeness that could be felt between Capote and Smith, especially in the last scenes. But I couldn't watch it again.

Bully
Bully(2001)

Disturbingly violent. Never again.

Kids
Kids(1995)

Scary. No really. It is a scary look at what some teenagers do, and what happens to them. Makes kissing look dirty too. Characters in Larry Clark's films have a tendencey of disappearing without a trace for the rest of the movie...Funny that.

Twelve Monkeys (12 Monkeys)
½

One of the smartes sci-fi thrillers around. Pitt and Willis prove they can act, and Gilliam directs with humour and creativity.

Persona
Persona(1966)
½

If you've got the patience, it's worth the wait. Maybe...

Fahrenheit 451

Brilliantly suspenseful and creative.

Fellini Satyricon

What the fuck is going on in this film? An overrated director, with only a few truly great films on his list. This fails to engage, but succeeds in baffling.

The Road (La Strada)
½

Very cute, but sad tale of a traveling performer and his neglected assistant.

The Bride Wore Black
½

Not heavy, but not a light tale of revenge, giving much influence on Tarantino's Kill Bill.

Catwoman
Catwoman(2004)

What could have been a sexy, black comedy ruins a great character once brilliantly portrayed by Michelle Pfeifer.

Save the Last Dance

Made worse by being forced to watch dances created by my fellow tween friends, inspired by this film. Puke.

Ice Age
Ice Age(2002)

Chuckled once. Count em: once.

Mission: Impossible 2

This piece of shit taints the first, which is a thousand times superior.

Enough
Enough(2002)

Utter, annoying shite, with a terrible cast and poor, poor story.

The New World

An extremely beautiful film that makes you feel that you will and can be loved by someone very deeply for the rest of your life. Tear.

Hellboy
Hellboy(2004)

An entertaining, smart blockbuster.

The Rules of Attraction

Some great shots and stories. Funny dialogue and violence.

Kill Bill: Volume 2
½

It's an ending. That's it.

Kill Bill: Volume 1

A colourfully, visual pallette of entertainment. Yay for violence.

Kung Pow! Enter the Fist

So very unfunny and over the top. Couldn't quite make it to the end.

Intermission
Intermission(2003)
½

Some funny bits, combining violence with love with comedy. Good move. Colin Farrell punching that chick in the face? Gold.

Requiem for a Dream

Saw this when I was 13, so it was very affecting. Great theme music, and kinda scary...

Doom
Doom(2005)

Guilty pleasure.

A Life Less Ordinary
½

A nice enough romantic comedy, wih a great karaoke number.

Donnie Darko
Donnie Darko(2001)

My favourite film for years until EVERYONE started liking it. Shame on you all.

Brotherhood of the Wolf
½

Bad special effects in making the wolf thing come to life...but Bellucci and Cassel are the two most beautiful people in the world.

Josie and the Pussycats

Good pop culture references. Funny as hell, suitable for kids!

Zatôichi (The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi)

Great samurai action, and some really funny moments

Welcome to the Dollhouse
½

Clearly influences Napoleon Dynamite, but without so many quotable lines.

The Stepford Wives
½

Slow paced, but a great story.

Somersault
Somersault(2004)

BORING as piss. Good cast, great soundtrack, but overall bad film.

Miss Congeniality
½

Flipping shite. The sequel is worse.

Hulk
Hulk(2003)
½

Why doesn't anyone like this??? It's great and will most probably be a lot better than the future film.

Fantastic Four

What more can you expect from a Hollywood blockbuster? Had its moments.

Cheaper by the Dozen 2
½

Cheaper by the Dozen POO

Bootmen
Bootmen(2000)
½

Brilliant, feel good, Aussie drama, with the delectable Sam Worthington. Mmmmmm

Airplane!
Airplane!(1980)

Couldn't get through the first ten minutes. Didn't find it all that funny.

8 Women (8 Femmes)

Gorgeous and quirky little murder mystery musical.

Ghost in the Shell
½

Not an anime fan, so I didn't find anything interesting about this.

Bad Eggs
Bad Eggs(2003)

Great Aussie comedy with great comic actors.

The Departed
The Departed(2006)

One of 2006's greats. Always engaging, not overlong, suspenseful, funny and greatly made by Scorsese.

Last Train to Freo
½

Well written, and great turn of power in the last act. But not emotional enough to be an outstanding Aussie film

Final Destination 3

Nowhere near as good as the second, and the deaths aren't as suspenseful or creative...but they're still deaths!

Miami Vice
Miami Vice(2006)

So hard to understand what anyone is saying in this movie. But it's got some truly entertaining action scenes, that only Mann knows how to direct.

I Spy
I Spy(2002)

Average. Famke Janssen is HOT.

Pinocchio
Pinocchio(1940)
½

Oh, a classic. Kinda gets scary toward the end, especially for young 'uns.

Children of Men

One of the best films of 2006. The last scenes will make you feel like you're in a war zone. Very effective and flawless filmmaking.

Primer
Primer(2004)
½

Brilliantly written, smart sci-fi. Needs multiple viewings to fully grasp the complexity of the story.

Ocean's Eleven

Utterly try hardish.

La Haine
La Haine(1996)

A genius film, moving, raw and violent.

The Bourne Supremacy

Greengrass is a master filmmaker. A worthy sequel.

Million Dollar Baby
½

What was all the fuss about? So it did a 180 and made everybody teary.

Dune
Dune(1984)
½

Sorry, I just wasn't completely engaged.

The Protector (Tom yum goong) (Warrior King)

Hang on. Isn't this the same film as Tom Yum Goong?

Stealth
Stealth(2005)

Goddamn this has to have the lamest character ever created. Not that it's a plane that can think, that it's a plane that likes to play nu metal when it kills.

Commando
Commando(1985)
½

Fu-nny! Great quotable quotes. Great action.

True Lies
True Lies(1994)
½

Damn funny and great violence. But repeated too much by Channel Ten.

Planet of the Apes

hookah smoking apes. Awesome.

Into the Blue

Great last scenese, but not overly stimulating.

Shanghai Knights

Average, but has its moments of comedy...

Peter Pan
Peter Pan(2003)
½

Thought it was pretty good. Had some really cute scenes, then some moving ones, then some corny ones...

The Rundown
The Rundown(2003)

Fun enough popcorn film.

The Chronicles of Riddick
½

Far different from the first, and a lot more cluttered.

Spice World
Spice World(1998)
½

Can't help but laugh.

Tom Yum Goong

Unfortunately haven't seen it with the right subtitles, but to look at it's great.

Gossip
Gossip(1999)

Meh. Dodgy, very dodgy. A bit shit too, but meh.

Birth
Birth(2004)
½

Slow paced, but eh.

Gosford Park
Gosford Park(2001)

Worth watching for Kelly McDonald and Clive Owen

The Perfect Score
½

An average but engaging teen comedy with a little more smarts than other, similar movies.

The Mothman Prophecies

Well i don't remember it so...it's forgetable.

Oldboy
Oldboy(2005)

Was worked up too much, and didn't live up to my expectation.

First Daughter
½

Drivel. Utter drivel.

The Ring Two
The Ring Two(2005)

Worst WORST sequel (to an already bad film).

The Little Mermaid
½

Omigod, I never thought this version would be in this database! Disturbed me violently as a child, since it sticks to the original, suicidal story. Powerful stuff for an 8 year old...

A Goofy Movie
½

Early memories of stoopid dogs and stoopid stories.

The Land Before Time
½

Life changing (if you're a kid).

The Life of David Gale
½

Superbly crafted film, with an exceptionally good ending. Suspenseful, deceiving, well acted.

Something's Gotta Give

Overlong, but not a shoddy romcom.

Junior
Junior(1994)

BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. Listen! I'm still laughing! Who came up with this plot???

Kindergarten Cop

Who can't help but love kids saying anatomically correct words? And Arnie?

The Pink Panther

Absolutely SHITE!!! Beyonce: just stop trying.

Shopgirl
Shopgirl(2005)
½

Jeremy is the standout character in a quirky, real movie looking at the lonlier side of relationships. Happy ending works well.

Thumbsucker
Thumbsucker(2005)

Delightfully genuine comedy looking at the not-so-ordinary adolescence of Justin Cobb. A gorgeous character in a cute film.

The Pacifier
The Pacifier(2005)
½

Ok so I admit that it was funny. May not be a masterpiece, but it's a light bit of fluff.

Dark Water
Dark Water(2002)

Not too bad in the chlls department. And an oh-so-cute daughter.

Koroshiya 1 (Ichi the Killer)

Oh god this is disgusting. But not overly interesting.

Nine Queens (Nueve reinas)

Excellent, smart con film. Great ending.

Happy Feet
Happy Feet(2006)

Entered the cinema thinking it would be crud. Was delightfully surprised. Latino male fairy penguins? Gold. Turned a bit "Fellowship of the Penguin" in the middle, and, if you don't let it pull at your heart strings too much, it is a cute little family friendly animation. Great cast of voices, and made all the right moves in physically showing humans. "See ya, Fatty!" Bahahaha!
Go Aussie filmmakers!

Revolver
Revolver(2005)

Well, I dunno really what was going on...but it was good.

Highlander 2: The Quickening

What the hell was going on in this movie??? So bad it's good... Not quite.

Highlander
Highlander(1986)

Awesome story, great when it goes back to different eras, funny lines.

Erin Brockovich
½

It has Julia Roberts in it. Ugh.

John Tucker Must Die

Only good part of this film? "SLUT IN TRUCK"

The Sound of Music
½

An absolutely classic musical!

A Bug's Life
A Bug's Life(1998)
½

Eh, wasn't bad, but wasn't great.

Australian Rules
½

Beautiful and moving film, dealing delicately with the racial issues in Australia. That, and footy.

The Castle
The Castle(1999)
½

An Australian classic, with good reason. Great actors, great humour. A million quotes can be taken from this gem of a film.

Moulin Rouge!

Love it or hate it you can't argue at the fact that it is highly artistic, imaginative and original.

Blank Check
Blank Check(1994)

What every kid would love to happen to them. Fun, lighthearted, colourful.

The Village
The Village(2004)
½

The ending is great. The suspense is very effective.

Urban Legend
Urban Legend(1998)

A good one to scare the tweens and isn't easily forgotten. Dunno how it would hold up now though.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Not scary, not thrilling, not entertaining. Boring overindulgent crap.

S.W.A.T.
S.W.A.T.(2003)
½

Terribly bland.

Storytelling
Storytelling(2002)

First half: brutal, and depressing. Last half: a bit more upbeat and quirky.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show
½

Overrated, camp, strange, crappy, ridiculously over the top.

Thunderstruck
½

Fun road movie, good for Sam Worthington, but dodgy. Very dodgy.

The Faculty
The Faculty(1998)

Crazy climax, but entertaining enough...

Red Eye
Red Eye(2005)

Awesome, short-and-sweet thriller. Mmm, Cillian Murphy, mmmm. And it's pronounced Killian, you fools.

Swimming Pool
½

Slow paced but beautifully shot murder mystery. Takes a while to get into but is worth it.

Rififi (Du Rififi Chez les Hommes)
½

Greatest heist scene in any movie - completely silent = brilliant.

2:37
2:37(2006)
½

So completely depressing. The suicide scene is extremely difficult to watch. A lot of the swearing was just chucked in for the shock factor but was too heavy handed. Clearly influenced by The Rules of Attraction, but obviously without the humour...

The Prince & Me

Way too long, and very boring. All the characters are unlikable and the story is dragged out. Terrible.

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Beautiful and timeless story. Not always engaging, but a good film nonetheless.

Interview with the Vampire
½

Dated, so very 80's. Has its moments, but is a bit crap. The book is terrible.

Once upon a Time in Mexico
½

"You fucking little monkey" ahahah oh and "Are you trying to give me a boner?"

Once Upon a Time in America
½

Hard to handle but has a beautiful theme tune.

Orange County

Okay on first viewing, but not memorable.

Open Your Eyes (Abre los Ojos)

All over the place, but has a unique story. Badly remade.

Freaky Friday
½

Wasn't too bad. Then two characters bagged out The White Stripes. Bad move.

Night on Earth

An awesome, and often funny, yet simple movie. Highly enjoyable.

Nathalie
Nathalie(2003)
½

Slow paced, arty flick, that isn't too bad.

Mystic River
Mystic River(2003)

Interesting enough, but not overly memorable.

Elektra
Elektra(2005)

Terrible, terribly boring, crap action, bad story. Crud.

White Noise
White Noise(2005)

A million plot holes, and never interesting or scary.

Kate & Leopold
½

Not really my kind of film.

Johnny English

A piece of unfunny shit.

In My Father's Den
½

An awesome family drama (don't let that put you off) with an ending that cannot be guessed.

The Interpreter

So political thrillers don't really interest me, but that bus scene sure stood out.

The In-Laws
The In-Laws(2003)
½

Average, but has some really funny moments.

Hard Candy
Hard Candy(2006)

Well written dialogue and squirm worthy torture. Good psychoanalysis of a girl who thinks what she's doing is acceptable - ironically the same way of thinking of the type of person she thinks Jeff is.

The Good Girl
½

it's interesting to see all the choices the main character made and the consequences of her actions. A fairly good film, but not outstanding.

Far and Away
Far and Away(1992)

Reminds me of Gangs of New York (yes, I know it came well after this film) and isn't too bad.

Four Brothers
½

A surprisingly entertaining action film with fairly good performances.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Great book, greater film. Hilarious and colourful.

Envy
Envy(2004)
½

VERY dodgy, but has a few laughs.

Gin gwai (The Eye)

Entertaining enough, but forgettable.

11:14
11:14(2003)

Very dodgy, but has some funny and exciting parts.

The Constant Gardener

Always engaging and extremely well made and interesting film.

Down With Love

A great romantic comedy, more engaging than the average romcom.

Dirty Pretty Things

An excellent, dark film.

Negocios Sucios

Good for Sam Worthington, but goes nowhere, and fast.

Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat
½

Has its moments of adult humour, but not impressive.

Cellular
Cellular(2004)

Underrated, and fun.

Howl's Moving Castle
½

Booorrrring. Had to watch the English dubbed version which made it all the more unbearable. Great visuals, but not enough going on to keep me engaged.

Wolf Creek
Wolf Creek(2005)

Very overrated, but the violence is entertaining.

Spirited Away

Overrated, but I'm not really into anime.

Clue
Clue(1985)

Childhood classic. Great adaptation of a game!

Crossroads
Crossroads(2002)
½

Not a bad acting effort from the Spears, but a less than spectacular movie.

Clockstoppers
½

Pfft, fun for an afternoon, but not much else.

Be Cool
Be Cool(2005)
½

Boring, unfunny. Fairly good cast with bad material to work with.