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- League City, TX
- Favorite Movies:
- Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back,Raiders of the Lost Ark,300,Dumb and Dumber,Spaceballs,Big Jake,Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi,Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers,Liar Liar,Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope,The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King,Office Space,The Sons of Katie Elder,The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring,El Dorado,The Cowboys,Die Hard: With a Vengeance,Clerks II,Lethal Weapon,Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith,Die Hard 2,Lethal Weapon 4,Lethal Weapon 3,Die Hard,Lethal Weapon 2,Revenge of the Nerds,Looney Tunes,Caveman,The Cannonball Run,Serenity,Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars,Déjà Vu,Transformers,I Am Legend,I, Robot,Bad Boys,Porky's,Gran Torino,Starship Troopers,The Breakfast Club,Stripes,Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,Watchmen,Happy Gilmore,The Incredibles,Saving Private Ryan,The Transformers - The Movie,Big Trouble in Little China,Star Trek,The Princess Bride,Men in Black,Law Abiding Citizen,Troy,Ghostbusters (1984 Original),Terminator Salvation,Avatar,Alien,True Grit,Fanboys,Field of Dreams,Up,Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,The Big Sleep,Source Code,The Thing,Captain America: The First Avenger
- Favorite Actors:
- John Wayne,Harrison Ford,Humphrey Bogart,Will Smith,Jim Carrey,Bruce Lee,Groucho Marx,Clint Eastwood,Sean Connery,Bruce Willis,Adam Sandler,Nathan Fillion,Ben Browder,Richard Pryor,Viggo Mortensen,Jason Statham,Ryan Reynolds,Kurt Russell,Tony Jaa,Burt Reynolds,Arnold Schwarzenegger,Mel Gibson,Jack Nicholson,Bill Murray,Sylvester Stallone,Gerard Butler,Christopher Walken,Bruce Campbell,Gary Coleman,Kate Hudson,Kate Beckinsale,Jessica Biel,Jennifer Garner,Kate Bosworth,Jennifer Connelly,Jennifer Aniston,Jessica Alba,Rachel Weisz,Morena Baccarin,Lexa Doig,Claudia Black,Krista Allen,Claire Forlani,Stacy Ferguson,Rihanna,Gretchen Mol,Priyanka Chopra,Penelope Cruz,Aishwarya Rai Bachchan,Salma Hayek,Keira Knightley,Lacey Chabert,Arielle Kebbel,Elizabeth Hurley,Eliza Dushku,Eva Longoria,Rebecca Gayheart,Julie Bowen,Milla Jovovich,Famke Janssen,Jolene Blalock,Paula Patton,Lena Headey,Julianne Moore,Ellen Pompeo,Steve Carell,Alyson Hannigan,Sophia Loren,Emmanuelle Chriqui,Gabrielle Union,Tanya Roberts,Bridget Moynahan,Jack Black,Ian McKellen,Bill Cosby,Alexa Davalos,Kristin Kreuk,Chris Tucker,Alyssa Milano,Jackie Chan,Dwayne Johnson,Monica Bellucci,Julia Stiles,Jet Li,Tommy Lee Jones,Will Ferrell,Stan Lee,Rhona Mitra,Dustin Hoffman,Raquel Welch,Barbara Bach,John Candy,Alicia Witt,Rachel McAdams,Audrey Hepburn,Selma Blair,Olivia Wilde,Tom Selleck,Jenna Elfman,Felicia Day,Amy Adams,Anna Torv,Rose Byrne
- from Butte, Montana originally. FOR THE RECORD - the only verified tears shed by myself for a movie was OLD YELLER...maybe a sniffle for ol' Pizza the Hutt when he ate himself in Spaceballs. THAT"S IT!!! LOVE Movies with "The Smart Ass" Top 100 movie quotes all time - no particular order. 1. Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. - Han Solo, Star Wars - 1977 2. Like I told my last wife, I said, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see, and besides... it's all in the reflexes." - Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China - 1986 3. Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. John Winger, Stripes - 1986 4. I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems. - Dr. Evazan, Star Wars - 1977 5. Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it. John Winger, Stripes - 1986 6. That's great Egg, WHAT's in it? - Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China - 1986 7. When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." - Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China - 1986 8. Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president. - Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China - 1986 9. Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it." - Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China - 1986 10. Who are these people? Friends of yours, huh? Now this really pisses me off to no end! - Lo Pan (2000 year old bad ass gets pissed off to not end! LOL), Big Trouble in Little China - 1986 11. I find your lack of faith disturbing. - Darth Vader, Star Wars - 1977 12. Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell! - Han Solo, Star Wars - 1977 13. You'd shut up if you knew what's good fer ya! - State Trooper, Dumb & Dumber - 1994 14. Been doin a little boozin' have ya? Been tipping back on Grandpa's cough medicine? - State Trooper, Dumb & Dumber - 1994 15. The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her. - Lloyd Christmas, Dumb & dumber - 1994 16. No problem, Lloyd. We can be classy and sophistic-Oh check out the funbags on that hosehound. - Harry Dunne, Dumb & dumber - 1994 17. That John Denver's full of shit, man. - Lloyd Christmas, Dumb & dumber - 1994 18. Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention. - Harry Dunne, Dumb & dumber - 1994 19. I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen. - Lloyd Christmas, Dumb & dumber - 1994 20. I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming! - Lloyd Christmas, Dumb & dumber - 1994 21. Nothing! Because if I take it to small claims court, it will just drain 8 hours out of my life and you probably won't show up and even if I got the judgment you'd just stiff me anyway; so what I am going to do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk, and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe! - Fletcher Reed, Liar Liar, 1997 22. He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless steaming pile of cow dung, figuratively speaking. Simmons is old! He should've been out of the game years ago but he can't stay home because he hates his wife! You've met her at the Christmas parties. She's the one that gets plastered and calls him a retard! And you, Tom, you're the biggest brownnose I've ever seen! You've got your head so far up Mr. Allen's ass, I can't tell where you end and he begins! You have bad breath caused by gingivitis. You couldn't get a porn star off. Your hairpiece looks like something that was killed crossing the highway. I don't know whether to comb it or scrape it off with a shovel and bury it in lime. Loser! Idiot! Wimp! Degenerate! SLUT! - Fletcher Reed, Liar Liar, 1997 23. Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. - Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride, 1987 24. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. - Miracle Max, The Princess Bride, 1987 25. Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something. - Man in Black, The Princess Bride, 1987 26. Well, son; since you don't have any respect for your elders, it's time somebody taught you some respect for your betters! Big Jake McCandles - Big Jake, 1971 27. And now *you* understand. Anything goes wrong, anything at all... your fault, my fault, nobody's fault... it won't matter - I'm gonna blow your head off. No matter what else happens, no matter who gets killed I'm gonna blow your head off. - Big Jake McCandles - Big Jake, 1971 28. Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life. - Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen - the Goonies, 1985. 29. Hey I've got a great idea you guys! Slick shoes! - Richard "Data" Wang - The Goonies, 1985 30. I'm setting booty traps! - Richard "Data" Wang - The Goonies, 1985 31. I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. - Mr. Garrison, South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut - 1999 32. Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli? - Suddam Hussein, South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut - 1999 33. Sounds like Kong. - Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen - the Goonies, 1985. 34. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON? - Eric Cartman, South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut - 1999 35. Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker". - Mr. Mackey, South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut - 1999 36. Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris? What, is that like finding Jesus or something? - Stan to Cartman - South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut - 1999 37. We may have to be neighbors, but I don't have to be neighborly. - John Chisum - Chisum, 1970 38. Now, when I say, "Who's da mastah?" you say, "Sho'nuff!" - Sho'nuff, The Last Dragon - 1985 39. Am I the baddest mofo low down around this town? - Sho'nuff, The Last Dragon - 1985 40. Fill your hands, you son of a bitch. - Rooster Cogburn, True Grit - 1969 41. Damn that Texan - when you need him, he's dead. - Rooster Cogburn, True Grit - 1969 42. "Goodbye, Reuben," she says, "the love of decency does not abide in you!" That's a dee-vorced woman talkin' for you, about decency. Well, I told her. I said, "Goodbye, Nola, and I hope that nail-sellin' bastard makes you happy this time!" - Rooster Cogburn, True Grit - 1969 43. Young fella, if you're looking for trouble, I'll accommodate ya. Otherwise, leave it alone. - Rooster Cogburn, True Grit - 1969 44. There are three basic types, Mr. Pizer: the Wills, the Won'ts, and the Can'ts. The Wills accomplish everything, the Won'ts oppose everything, and the Can'ts won't try anything. - V.I.N.cent, The Black Hole - 1979 45. Release the Kracken! - Calibos, Clash of the Titans - 1981 46. Bring out the Gimp. - Zed, Pulp Fiction - 1994 47.And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid. - Rick, Casablanca - 1942 48. Come now, let's be off. There's a battle in the offing! We've got kingdoms to save and women to love! - Prince Talon, The Sword and the Sorcerer - 1982 49. Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. - Knibb High Principal, Billy Madison - 1995 50. Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood. - Vincent, Pulp Fiction - 1994 51. Nice Beaver! - Frank Drebin, The Naked Gun - 1988 52. Have some more sloppy joes. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy. - Lunch Lady, Billy Madison - 1995 53. I think I'm going to have a heart attack and die of not surprise! - Iago, Aladdin - 1992 54. HEED! PANTS! NOW! - Stuart MacKenzie - So I Married an Axe Murderer - 1993 55. You insensitive pricks! Do you have any idea how much that stings? - Jeebs, Men in Black - 1997 56. We're going to nail this guy. And when we get done, we're going to go eat fish off those naked chicks! Brandon Lee as Johnny Murata, Showdown in Little Tokyo - 1991 57. I've been jerking off the shower for so long I get a hard-on when it rains! - Peach Leetz, my house - 2009 58. That's it man, game over man, game over! What the f@ck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do? - Hudson, Aliens - 1986 58. We came, we saw, we kicked some Ass! Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters - 1984 59. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes... The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! Stanz, Zeddmore, Spengler, Venkman, Ghostbusters - 1984 60. It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage. - Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981 61. Are you trying to develop a sense of humor or am I going deaf? - Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom, 1984 62. Hold on to your potatoes! - Short Round, Temple of Doom, 1984 63. Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory. - Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom, 1984 64. I'm very little! You cheat very big! - Short Round, Temple of Doom, 1984 65. Tonight we dine in Hell! - King Leonidas, 300 - 2007 66. At my signal. Unleash Hell! - Maximus, Gladiator - 1990 67. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. - Maximus, Gladiator - 1990 68. "Go tell the Spartans, passerby, that here by Spartan law, we lie." - King Leonidas via Dilios, 300 - 2007 69. Come back with your shield, or on it. - Queen Gorgo, 300 - 2007 70. Children, gather round! No retreat, no surrender; that is Spartan lore. And by Spartan lore we will stand and fight... and die. A new age has begun. An age of freedom, and all will know, that 300 Spartans gave their last breath to defend it! - King Leonidas, 300 - 2007 71. Haven't you read the Super Villain's Handbook? This is where you're supposed to twirl your mustache and gloat. - John Crichton, Farscape, The Peacekeeper Wars - 2004 72. I an Asshole, sir! - Major Asshole, Spaceballs - 1988 73. Whatsamatter Colonial Sanders? Chicken? - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs - 1988 74. I'm thirty years older than you are. I had my back broke once, and my hip twice. And on my worst day I could beat the hell out of you. - John Wayne as Wes Anderson - The Cowboys, 1972. 75. Come on Cletus! It aint nuthin' but a short walk. You might walk over, but you limpin' back! I aint no easy win, nigga! - Grandma Klump - The Nutty Professor, 1996 76. Everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end. - Coughlin, Cocktail - 1988. 77. There's one thing you gotta learn about women. They're all liars. And if they ain't liars, they're worse, laying for you with wedding music. Take that little dame from Oregon. All I was doing was tying her shoe laces and she starts beating me over the head with a preacher. Or that little thing from Minnesota, who tried to marry me while I was so drunk I didn't know what I was doing, if it hadn't been for the parson's mercy, I'd have been hooked good, for good! You just can't trust women. No matter how honest they act, they all want to be wives! - John Wayne as Sam McCord, North to Alaska - 1960. 78. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. - Bill Murray as Carl Spackler - Caddyshack, 1980. 79. I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think. - Bill Murray as Carl Spackler - Caddyshack, 1980. 80. Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands. We're Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu. We come here on stage tonight to do our show for you. We got a rockin' rhythm and a hi-tech sound that'll make you move your body down to the ground. We got Poindexter on the violin, and Lewis and Gilbert will be joining in. We got Booger Presley on the mean guitar and a rap by little ol' me Lamar. We got Takashi beating on his gong, the boys and the Mu's are clapping along. And just when you thought, ya seen it all, along comes a Lambda four foot tall. So Wormser come on out here on the floor, so we can move our bodies, like never before. Break! - LaMar LaTrell - Revenge of the Nerds, 1984. 81. Pain don't Hurt - Dalton (Patrick Swayze) - Road House 1989 82. I want Bush! Pan down! Dudley "Booger" Dawson - Revenge of the Nerds, 1984 Gayest (Most Gay??) Movie quotes all time: 1. Kenner, just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you that you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man. Brandon Lee as Johnny Murata, Showdown in Little Tokyo - 1991 2. I used to f**k guys like you in prison! - Jason - Road House, 1989 Best Movie Pick up lines: 1. You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way? Rodney Dangerfield as Al Czervik - Caddyshack, 1980 2. You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body. Chevy Chase as Ty Webb - Caddyshack, 1980 Ro's Rules of Moviegoing 1.) Opinions, opinions, we all have opinions...is mine right? It is to me. 2.) Romantic Dramady should be recatagorized under Pure FANTASY (See The Notebook, etc). 3.) Hot Chicks cannot a good movie make...without help...unless it is a lesbian porn flick. 4.) Nothing sucks more than when you are forced to watch a movie you know will suck...and you end up being wrong and she ends up being right. EXCEPT Forcing her to watch a movie you know will rock...and you are wrong. In both situations you lose...and will never hear the end of it. 5.) Artsy Fartsy, Feel Good, Sundance style movies...suck 90% of the time. 6.) Thou shall not be a Huge Bag O'Douche and do the following things in a movie theater: - Answer your cell phone or leave on ringer - Text message - DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT quote the movie out loud, Gollum yourself and giggle you Star Wars/LOTR freaks! - If you're GF is going to give you a Snarlin' Gnarlin, please move to rear of theater, don't need to hear or see it 7.) Any movie where I have to read subtitles had better either be by Quinten Tarintino or porn. Late edit...I will also allow Kung Fu. 8.) OK, this rule you would think everyone would figure out by themselves (including myself) - IF a movie is rated on this site with 2 stars or below...it SUCKS! BUT, please still watch it so I can laugh at the "I can't believe how bad it sucked" reviews. BTW - this rule hasn't stopped me yet either. 9.) Clapping is not necessary at the end of a film. No matter how much you enjoyed the movie, no matter how loud you clap or cheer, the actors will never hear you. You are a idiot and deserve to have your whitey tighties pulled up around your ears. 10.) Whoo boy, any time I get recommendations with the keywords: emotionally charged, character driven, emotional changes, self discovery, life and relationship choices, and especially...commitment, the movie automatically gets thrown in the view with extreme caution list. Throw in a slow paced and you have a movie you girls can watch by yourselves. Guys have to deal with this stuff waaaaayyyyy too much in everyday life. Why the hell would I want to see more of it and pay money to do it? No thanks. 11.) As chick flicks go many "critics" write of chemistry between the leads. Well, seeing chemistry between a chick and a guy during a movie I have been forced to watch, is not exactly my forte. I guess I tend to form a mental block where the man is supposed to be and just focus on the hot chick. My mind then tends to replace said blank spot with myself. Based on this, Katherine Heigl and myself seem to have very good chemistry! 12.) Don't get me wrong, I will watch a chick flick...with the right person and following the appropriate reward system. 13.) Movies like Twiglight plays right into my secret theory about the unrealistic fantasies that women in this day and age all grow up believing. I really believe this special kind of crap is what makes women absolutely batsh!t crazy as they get older and realize the fantasy romance crap they see on TV growing up is not very realistic. Why can't you be more like Robert Patterson? Huh, oh, you mean Cedric Diggory? Because I have hair on my ass. Good enough for you ? 13.5.) Hey, ladies, we get it. You like the bad boys. Even if you?re a princess, rock star, movie star, Ancient god, whatever you just can?t help going all Swooney McJuice panties when you see Robert Pattinson use the paperweight in the fancy office for an ash tray. Can we try something different than the Super identical nice-girl-falls-for-dirtbag aspect. Otherwise, stop acting surprised when you find out America?s Sweetheart?s husband has been cheating on her with a tatooed Nazi skank. It?s Nick Spark's fault for slowly conditioning women to believe that every slimy douche on a motorcycle has a heart of gold. Fail! Usually it?s just a rose tattoo and a meth habit. 14.) BE PREPARED! When forced to watch movies with sad endings, be sure to have a smart ass comment ready to break tear-up potential. (exception: Old Yeller) 15.) Friends going to the movie together will hereby sit with one seat between them. Said extra seat shall be used for the shared popcorn. Rules for reaching for corn shall be arranged prior to purchase to avoid accidental hand touching. This makes saving $8 on the refill worthwhile. 16.) Guys have a sixth sense for determining chick flicks. It's like Gaydar only more useful. 17.) Foreign films, while wildly popular with stuck up Hollywood types and teenage boys hoping to see a nipple, mostly suck. 18.) Nicholas Sparks MUST be stopped! Although I have to hand it to the guy...he is a genius. His marketing campaign into the average middle aged womans fantasy heart knows no equal. He has found himself a niche that has previously only been explored by romance novelists and my mom. Books that have Fabio on their covers hold nothing compared to this guy. 19.) The super hot whiney, crying guy/chick will get you killed! Be sure to trip them in from of the ax murderer chasing you as a distraction. 21.) Children are perfect excuses to rewatch old cartoons you loved when young...and be able to share the lessons learned...or that you just now learned. 22.) Movies as reviewed by Peach (aka Gregory L) are elevated several stars by the quantity and quality of boobs therein. 23.) M. Knight Shamalamadingdong - you have some fantastic ideas for movies but your ideas burn out faster than first time sex. Your movies are all foreplay and no money shot. I hate you. 24.) Uwe Boll - your movies should have their own crap category. New Uwe Boll movie! Rated C for CRAP. Your movies have made us all dumber for having watched them...I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul. 26.) I would rather have my fingernails pulled than watch Boo Hoo Woe is Me Drama Crap. 28.)Phoebe Cates, I must thank you for taking my boobginity and making Fast Times at Ridgemont High a pleasurable experience...thank you. 30.)How are cartoons from 50 years ago so much better than those shown/filmed today? Methinks because story had to carry the film due to lack of sophisticated effects. 2-3 years to hand draw gives a lot of time to modify the script. 32.)Nothing is more annoying than someone who has a keen eye for the obvious. 35.) Dog Farts in a movie = fun! 36.) A good woman is one that will not bitch when forced to watch your explosion filled boob fest when it is your turn to pick. Keep this woman...cherish her. 36a.)A good woman is one that will not bitch when you fall asleep during "her choice" night...and only wakes you when your snoring out performs the surround sound. 40.) Shirtless scenes (men only) in action/sci-fi Fantasy/Blow-em-up movies are totally unneeded. Females that want to ruin a perfectly good movie with these scenes should stick to the Team Jacob/Edward movies and leave mine alone! 43.)I find that we all get more legendary as time goes by. "Legend" basically means "bullshit." In my little buddy Peach's case, he is all bullshit. 47.) If you are going to kill John Waynes son and kidnap his grandson for money, you had better make sure John Wayne is dead first! 50.) I think this site has a plethora of Super Reviewers/critics, er... I guess it would be better to call them "critical-maybe-wanna-be schlubs which do not get paid for their idiotic reasoning and astoundingly bad writing skills". How do these people get to be Super Reviewers??? What are the pre-requisites??? I think I fall under the "big ugly schlub unpaid critic of which some people may think mildly amusing in small doses" Is there a badge for that? 51.) James Bond has taught me many things: A.) An Ass slap is the ultimate aphrodisiac for a woman. B.) NEVER tell a woman yes or that she is right, always change the situation so it benefits you. C.) Be sexist and profit from it. D.) Always find the women named after anatomical naughty bits, they seem to be easiest. E.) Being a smart ass dick gets you the girl. 52.) Indiana Jones has taught me many things: A.) If there are no vines to swing from, a whip will do in a pinch. B.) Fedora hats are cool. C.) Never put up with a womans crap, love them and leave them. (until you turn 65 and discover alternate dimensions) D.) You and your father probably have similar tastes in women (Dad! I was the next guy!) E.) A lead lined refrigerator will (not) protect you from nuclear radiation. F.) The older you get the better you were G.) Ancient Egyptian crypts have thin walls. H.) SOON, Mola Ram will rule the world! I.) Der Furer is a dick, but will always give an autograph! J.) Always choose wisely K.) X Never EVER marks the spot! K.) Being a smart ass dick gets you the girl. 53.) Han Solo has taught me many things: A.) Et tu Greedo? B.) Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side. C.) Somehow, in a time long ago in a galaxy far, far away, a parsec was a measurement of time, not distance. D.) Never deal with giant slug-like, space gangsters. E.) Being a smart ass dick gets you the girl. 73.) Have you ever seen an actor in a sports movie that actually had any coordination whatsoever? Case in point: Michael J. Fox (Teenwolf) cant dribble or shoot. Tim Robbins (Bull Durham) - throws like a girl, Zac Effron - (17 again) - not too bad just looks like an idiot. 77.) Every foreign film has to be viewed with suspicion because of 4 things: 1.) Freaking subtitles 2.) You are most likely watching it because the freaky, artsy chick you know recommended it. 3.) Different cultures have a whole different idea as to what is funny. 4.) You are an idiot if you listen to the freaky, artsy chick in the first place. You have no chance with her anyways, move on. 78.) ONLY Reasons to watch a foreign film: 1.) nudity and graphic sex scenes 2.) trying to fool a date into thinking you are sophisticated in order to enhance your chances. 3.) in order to do penance for making your GF watch Hellboy II, The Golden Crap. 88.) Peach's Douchebaggary knows no end! 89.) Peach is the Gayest Gay in Gaytown. 99.) I am big for a kid my age... 101.) It's not over till its over...and maybe not even then.