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Rating History

Who Can Kill a Child? (Quin puede matar a un nio?)
5 months ago via Movies on Facebook

This film makes Children of the Corn look very weak. A very creepy and tense-filled spanish spooker with very scary children doing very bad things. Why does it happen? Who know? Very interesting correlation with Hitchcock's The Birds.

The Nail Gun Massacre
14 months ago via Movies on Facebook
½

LOFUCKINGL!!! This film was fucking ridiculous. The acting was so fucking awful that my head nearly exploded, but somehow, someway, this film was entertaining, ONLY for the fact that someone is viciously murdered nearly ever 5 minutes. Seriously, the body count was huge. Also, there was one really nice pair of tits in this retarded film. Needless to say, someone goes around shooting nails into people. That's it. Also, the ending is pretty ridiculous and, honestly, quite confusing. Still, fucking hilarious.

One Dark Night
2 years ago via Movies on Facebook

One Dark Night is the creepy 80's classic about sorority pledge Meg Tilly whose determined to join a popular group that is ran by her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend who is considerably jealous and mean-spirited as her and her group put her through the ultimate hell by having her stay the night at the creepy mausoleum. Unbeknownst to them, an evil man who is capable of moving objects and drawing energy from victims has just been buried there, but he is far from dead as he uses his powers from beyond the grave to make the evening especially traumatic for his latest set of victims. A side story involving the madman's estranged daughter learning of his powers as well as her own, which include visions of the girls being haunted in the mausoleum. Adam West shows up as her husband in a somewhat wasted, but still slightly comical role. I'm ashamed I've only now seen this movie as it was very enjoyable. Considering the sometimes risque subject matter, not to mention the sheer creepiness throughout some of the movie, and the usage of grotesque dead body effects, it's a wonder that this film is only rated PG. This certifies my thoughts on the MPAA being a corrupt system of people with right-wing agendas who would have instantly rated this movie R nowadays. Back then PG films had balls, as this little underrated gem does. Good effects, good characters, decently thrilling and chilling. Great directorial debut from Tom McLoughlin, who would go on to direct other great horror fare like Friday the 13th 6: Jason Lives and Sometimes They Come Back. Granted, it spends an hour building and building, but when all hell breaks loose, it totally becomes worth it. Fun film!

The Boneyard
The Boneyard (1991)
4 years ago via Movies on Facebook
½

WHAT AN AMAZING GEM OF A HORROR FLICK!!! It's got dead zombie children, tons of gore, resurrected hot chicks, giant-monster poodle, an old fat lady as the lead hero of the film, and Phyllis Diller!!! An aging psychic (Deborah Rose, who's a terrific lead in this film), two cops, a thought to be dead woman, and Phyllis Diller are all trapped in a coroner's building with three zombie children that are tiny, scary as shit, and fast as hell. I loved this movie. It's over the top, fun, and sometimes very chilling!!! If you manage to come across this movie, watch it. It's awesome!

Nightbeast
Nightbeast (2004)
4 years ago via Movies on Facebook
½

Nightbeast is just pure hilariously bad fun. This sci-fi horror schlockfest stars a batch of director Don Dohler's friends and family who take on a hulking and deadly alien that crashlands to Earth one night. In the first 15 minutes alone, there are over a dozen people killed, either by the alien's hilarious ray gun or by brute force. Not even Dohler's kids are safe in this movie (who make a brief appearance). Apart from the atrocious love scene, this film isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be. There are plenty of corny and funny moments, but this film is out there to entertain people, and Nightbeast accomplishes that. High body count, funny creature and gore effects, a few titties here and there. What's not to love about this film? Definitely worthy of being a cult hit. Please, if you are expecting greatness, don't bother with this film. You'll only fuck up the rating system with your stupid rating for a movie you shouldn't have watched. This is purely for fans of cheese!