Bob Rock's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

I, Daniel Blake

Borderline perfection in film making.


good first hour, goes sci-fi silly for a bit then redeems itself.

Under The Shadow

Can't see what all the fuss was about.

Blair Witch
Blair Witch(2016)

Pretty much a re-make but stiill pretty good.

The Accountant

As painfully dull as the title might suggest

Keeping Up With The Joneses

Isla Fisher looks nice in a revealing dress, that's it.

Sorority Slaughterhouse

A movie devoid of any plus points, one maybe that it makes no attempt to use special effects when needed!!!

Nine Lives
Nine Lives(2016)

Worth enduring the first half hour just so you can say you've witnessed the awfulness of this dogs turd of a movie

Suicide Squad

Margot Robbie is the mutts nuts as Harley, Will Smith cool as a cucumber , that's it, too much comic fan boy nonsense,

Get a Job
Get a Job(2016)

Likeable characters, good cast (kendick, Teller, Cranston, Brie) slightly average movie

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

Surprisingly amusing sequel to an original lame duck

Everybody Wants Some!!

Likeable movie but spoilt by loathsome jock characters

The Brothers Grimsby

A quite bizarre comedy with a scene involving elephants you'll never forget!

Mr. Right
Mr. Right(2016)

Kendrick and Rockwell are excellent in a flick that hits the ground running but stumbles over the finish line

Triple 9
Triple 9(2016)

Quality from start to finish.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

Seen the 'first' Star Wars? Then you've seen this!


Starts off promisingly, finish's with plenty of blood and guts but zero explanations for the previous 100 minutes of movie time, not even Alexandra Daddario's awesome cleavage can make up for this sub-standard slasher.

The Demolisher

Contains one of the most ludicrous 'chase' scenes ever!

Nina Forever
Nina Forever(2016)

Well that was certainly different!!!

Dirty Grandpa

Just when you thought De Niro's career wouldn't get any lower


Pointless, spineless remake.

The Gift
The Gift(2015)

'That' ending-brutal


For every daft/silly moment there's two great gags and the movie has two great leading ladies, Fay and Poehler.

Burying the Ex

Daft but enjoyable comedy horror with the added bonus of Alexandra Daddario.


[REC] meets 'Chronicle' with added vampire.

The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence)

Beyond awful to the point of unwatchable and sadly not because of the content.


Not even spurts of ultra-violence and Salma Hayek's cleavage can save this B movie Tarantino wannabe mess.

We Are Still Here

Retro 80's Italian style horror.

Kilo Two Bravo

Gut wrenchingly powerful stuff.


A competent well made remake but that's the problem, its JUST a remake.

Mad Max: Fury Road

Max isn't mad but this movie is, Max is Tom Hardy which is yet another bonus.

Age Of Kill
Age Of Kill(2015)

The Spandau Ballet reunion gigs must have dried up for Kemp, never a good sign for a movie that contains cameos in the first five minutes from Donna Air and Lucy Pinder.

Get Hard
Get Hard(2015)

Surprisingly enjoyable nonsense.

San Andreas
San Andreas(2015)

Expectations lower than a snakes belly, expectations super ceded Soap opera screenplay, some of the most cringeworthy dialogue you will hear in a movie this year, yeah the fx hit the spot most of the time, but the cheesiness of the whole sorry mess makes 'Pearl Harbour' look like a BBC2 documentary.

Unfinished Business

For fucks sake Vince please retire!

Monsters: Dark Continent

Ignore the pompous reviews, a pretty good anti-war movie with occasional monsters thrown in.

Don't Blink
Don't Blink(2014)

Promising psychological thriller ruined by a head scratching finale


an oldie revisited and just as mediocre as I remember.

Inside (À l'intérieur)

Gory and grim French stalk and slash

Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (Død snø 2)

Hugely disappointing sequel, a low budget comedy style "Carry On" Zombie Nazi flick.

The Canal
The Canal(2014)

Good psychological Brit horror flick.

Brick Mansions

Fight, car chase, gunfire, repeat for 80 minutes

The Other Woman

Slightly slow starting but enjoyable rom com revenge flick.

Under the Skin

Two stars, and they were for Scarlet!

Wild Bill
Wild Bill(2011)

Excellent directorial debut from Dexter Fletcher.

300: Rise of an Empire

Blood, guts, thread bare plot and Eva Green, Woof!

3 Days To Kill

' Taken' style comic violence is bogged down with dreadful family mushy sentiment and misogyny, Amber Heard has one role, to dress solely for male titilation.


Utter rubbish but rather enjoyable.

That Awkward Moment

Dumb, witless male misogynistic episode of Friends.

The Last Days On Mars

Average poor mans Alien meets The Thing with Zombies

American Hustle

All flash, very little substance.

Hate Crime
Hate Crime(2013)

Brutal hard core horror.

Jug Face
Jug Face(2013)

A serious case of WTF!!?

The Borderlands

Creepy chiller, The Omen meets The Exorcist meets Blair Witch with a bonkers finale.


Ignore the sniffy critics, a solid remake with plenty of hammer time!

Blue Jasmine
Blue Jasmine(2013)

Thoroughly deserved Oscar for Kate Blanchett, quality drama with fine support.

The Outsider
The Outsider(2014)

That's being generous too


You know what to expect when a films called 'Bullet' and stars gnarly faced Danny Trejo as a Cop and 'Breaking Bads' Johnathan Banks (Mike) as a gangster.

Trejo plays 'Bullet' a cop who plays by his own rules (yeah!) who takes maters into his own hands when his grand-son is kidnapped by a drugs cartel in return for the release from the 'big house'. Yeah it's a Mexican grindhouse movie that had a budget of $3M and it looks it too. Trejo isn't really the action hero the film makers would have you believe, grisly and scarred, tough as old boots, yes, but after a shoot out or a bit of the old fisty cuffs he looks like he need a lie down. It all ends predictably with Bullet somehow taking on the entire cartel, and there's no guessing for who comes out on top.

The movies only saving grace is Banks as the cartel leader Carlito Kane who cranks the meanness up to 11, expect to see this sorry flick though gracing the dvd supermarkets bargain bins in the near future.

Coffee Town
Coffee Town(2013)

'Coffee Town' is the debut movie from the US comedy website College Humour and if this is a taste of the future, bring it on!

Will (Glen Howerton) is a thirty something website manager, and local coffee shop Coffee Town is his office, free wi-fi, friends popping in, he feels alive in this environment, he just has to keep the coffee topped up to keep barista, and wannabe rock, star Sam (Josh Groban) off his back. Things though look bleak when the coffee company look to turn the shop into an upmarket bistro...drastic measures are needed.....

The movie is packed full of witty, snappy off the wall dialogue, quirky characters, best mates Gino (Ben Swartz) the "worst Cop in the world" and Chad (Steven E Little) a guy who takes up smoking so he can make use of the office smoking breaks. Smart bright and breezy, and great fun.

Lone Survivor

Four US Navy SEALS are sent on a covert mission in Afghanistan to kill a high level Taliban leader, they are ambushed in the unforgiving terrain of the Hindu Kush region, soon it becomes a terrifying fight for survival against a ferocious unrelenting enemy.

2014 blasts into action with this Peter Berg movie based on true events back in 2005, the moment the SEAL's are ambushed you feel like you are in the thick of the action, panic, bullets flying inches from your head, the assault is relentless, soldiers dive from RPG attacks, falling and crashing from rock to rock, great film-making and utterly riveting stuff, with another good stint from Messrs Wahlberg, Ben Foster and Eric Bana.


Veteran Astronaut Matt Kowalsky (George Clooney) and medical engineer Dr Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) are on a routine space walk, but disaster strikes when they are hit by a meteoroid shower, their shuttle is destroyed, the are alone in space to some how find a way to safety....

At a running time of just 90 minutes you will feel like you've experienced what our two astronauts have, cut off from the outside world, literally, has Planet Earth and deep space looked more beautiful, yet terrifying and above all lonely. Clooney and Bullock (especially) give outstanding performances, this is a thrilling and visually stunning drama, not so much science fiction as the technology is now, which makes this film all the more gripping and plausible.

Would You Rather

Iris (Britanny Snow) is struggling with money whilst caring for her terminally ill brother, she is invited to a dinner by an aristocrat, one he says that could change her life, and her brothers for ever, she attends along with seven other strangers, and soon they realise they are trapped in a sadistic game....

An entertaining slice of shlock torture porn in the style of the 'Saw' and 'Hostile' movies, 'Would You Rather' is deeply sadistic, with an at times shocking black sense of humour, 80's horror legend Jeffery Coomes ('From Beyond', 'Re-Animator, 'The Frighteners') ) as host Shepard Lambrick is in top form hamming it up and over acting a with a straight face, and the film hits you with a suitably mean spirited, if slightly obvious' punch in the guts ending.


Ron Howard (Ritchie from Happy Days!) directs 'Rush', the true story of the intense racing rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauder during the mid 1970's.

"Unmissable, thrilling, magnificent" just some of the blurb from the poster on what some critics thought and it's hard to disagree. The casting of Chris Hemsworth and Daniel Bruhl as Hunt and Lauder is inspired, brilliant performances from both of them, you love them both equally even with their major personality flaws, and in the acting class hard to name a winner, the 2 hr running time is filled with great story telling and intense race action superbly recreated in the 70s, the sound, the clothes, the decadence etc. If you know the story then you'll still be thrilled (Lauders near death crash chilling to the bone) and if you don't then lucky you!

Not just one of the movies of 2013 but genuinely a great sports movie of the highest quality.


Yes, another horror remake, but have no fear I thought, yeah there's been a few turkeys, anything Rob Zombie touches for example, but this year saw some solid nasty reboots of 'Evil Dead' and 'Maniac', both as vicious and grim as their 80's originals, so with starring roles for Chloe Grace Moretz as Carrie and Julianne Phillips as her Bible bashing nutso Mum the omens were good....oh dear.

Yes Chloe and Julianne are excellent, as always, the prom scene with all its pigs blood is expertly recreated, but that's about it, the madness of Carries mother is never really explored, yes the world of cyber bullying is introduced into the modern reimagining, but director Kimberley Pierce has nothing new to add, the film is efficient, but ultimately pointless.

The Wolf of Wall Street

Leonardo De Caprio stars as Jordan Belfort the "wolf of Wall street", the true story of how a young 20 something who rose from 'penny stocks' to a Wall Street broker employing 1000 brokers and earning millions, most of it through illegal selling.

Take a fascinating story of corporate greed from a man who modelled himself on Gordon Gecko, directed by the one and only Martin Scorsese, throw in a hugely talented cast of Jonah Hill, Mathew McConnaughy, Rob Reiner, Margot Robbie and a scintillating screenplay and you get the most entertaining 3 hours of film you could hope for. At times hysterically funny (the Quaalude od scene being the highlight) great storytelling, De Caprios voice over up there with Ray Liotta's in 'Good Fellas', and you get a movie who's long running time is swallowed up like the people who dared trust in these people featured.

Epic, stylish, hilarious, thunderously entertaining

Celeste and Jesse Forever

Jesse (Andy Samberg) and Celeste( Rashida Jones) are childhood sweat hearts, they married young and now they're growing apart and decide that a divorce is the best for both of them, even though both their hearts say they are still in love.

A low-fi Indie rom com, utterly charming featuring characters that you care about, real people with feelings and personalities, unlike the cartoon character buffoons that Richard Curtis en stills on the movie public and doesn't pander to the usual clichés .

Rashida Jone ('US Office') is an utter delight, pouring her heart out, feeling that her life is crumbling away, 'Celeste And Jesse' is a marvellous bitter sweet comedy drama, though with no answers to love and happiness, but highly recommended


Bruce Robertson (James McAvoy) is a scheming corrupt, drug addled Edinburgh detective in line for a serious promotion and he will let no one get in his way off it, no matter what it will take.

Never has a movie title been so apt. McAvoy spends the entire movie as the most deprived drug addled, corrupt copper imaginable, if he's not snorting coke he's having sex with hookers, engaged in bondage, hallucinating his way through his insane world. Funny, very grim, the most un-festive 'Christmas' movie imaginable, and an astonishing performance from McAvoy.

Lords of London

On the outset this looks like your usual Brit gangster flick, Ray Winstone, Glen Murphy, it's ticking the boxes, sadly it doesn't. Yeah Ray's at his angry brutal snarling best, but the plot moves at a painful pace, the twist is fairly obvious, but when it is revealed is leaves more questions than answers...the family in Italy, just what had they got to do with the entire story??

Almost as painful an experience as the guy who has his teeth pulled out by Winstone during the movie.

Inside Llewyn Davis

The Coen Brothers made some terrific movies ,"No Country For Old Men", "The Hudsucker Proxy", "Fargo" and of course "The Big Lebowski" spring to mind but they've also spewed out a few turkey (imho) recently ("Burn After Reading", "The Ladykillers"), so upon reading that their latest opus was about a folk singer in 60's New York, I can hardly say I was filled with too much enthusiasm.

Thankfully I fears weren't realised, yes it all does get quite melancholy, and 15 minutes could have been trimmed from the running time (i.e some of the songs) but the film is filmed with choice characters, a bitchy cantankerous secretary in her 80's, Justin Timberlake as New York's cheesiest folk artist Jim Berkley (the hilarious "Please Mr Kennedy" is a scene stealer), Carey Mulligan at her angry and bitchiest best, and for good measure you get Coen brothers favourite John Goodman ("a folk singer with a cat, are you queer?), even the ginger Tom puts in a good performance!

Best Man Down

When drunk and obnoxious, but well meaning, best man 'Lumpy' expectantly dies at the wedding destination of bride and groom Kristin (Jess Weixler) and Scott (Justin Long) they are forced to cancel their honeymoon to fly home to Minneapolis to arrange the funeral, during which they discover some home truths about Lumpy, and especially when their paths are led to a 15 year old troubled girl Madison (Addison Timlin).

"Best Man Down" is a superb heart felt bitter sweet comedy drama with great performances all round from the cast especially Addison Timlin as lumpy's friend, the scene when she reads out her eulogy is genuinely moving and incredibly poignant. A movie that is a real tear jerker at times but also a film with a massive beating heart, outstanding.

Who Needs Enemies

"Fackin' hell!"
Yep, it's a Cockney gangster flick but have no fear, this ones quite decent.

A series of intertwining vignettes and multiple flashbacks weave the story of betrayal, revenge and a dark sordid secret involving two old friends, think part 'Pulp Fiction' narrative, with Guy Ritchie black comedy and 'Lock Stock' gangsters, wide boys and low lives. The star of the show is undoubtedly Kris Johnson as psychopath Chris, one of the scariest movie characters put on the screen for some time, and the type of low life you know exists in 21st Century Britain.

Bloody, brutal, and recommended


Dyer duffs up slaags and cahnts!

Django Unchained

A slave (Jamie Foxx) is hired by a Bounty Hunter (Christoph Waltz) and with his help they set out to free his Wife from a brutal plantation owner (Leonardo Di Caprio) in the deep South.
Expectations are always high when Tarantino releases a picture and bar the dreadful "Death Proof" he very rarely fails to deliver.

All the winning ingredients that you expect from Tarantino are here, a great screenplay, snappy but structured dialogue, great dialogue, an unpredictable plot, extreme violence and of course superb performances from amongst others, the two leads Foxx and Waltz, with excellent co-stars Leonardo Di Caprio and Samuel L Jackson as the vile treacherous Stephen.

A lengthy 165 minute running time never outstays it welcome in a fine start to the year from the Master.

The Giant Mechanical Man

slightly predictable, very wonderful

The Conjuring

puerile, clichà (C) ridden shite.

Run For Your Wife

Every bit appalling as you would fear.

The Family
The Family(2013)

cliche ridden black comedy

Twin Town
Twin Town(1997)

still as fresh and funny all these years later.

100 Bloody Acres

Great gory Australian fun.

Rewind This!
Rewind This!(2013)

Made me wish I'd had the room to keep my ridiculously big vhs collection, great memories...

The Bling Ring

All flash, almost zero substance.

Scenic Route
Scenic Route(2013)

fine drama/thriller with a stomach punch ending.

Kick-Ass 2
Kick-Ass 2(2013)

humourless somewhat nasty unnecessary sequal.


Rude, crude and very funny.

The Cabin in the Woods

Contains the most bonkers 20 minute finale EVER.

We're The Millers

ignore the stuffy critic's, great fun.

What Maisie Knew

21st century Kramer vrs Kramer.

Pain & Gain
Pain & Gain(2013)

Huge demented violent fun.

The World's End

sadly nowhere near as good as 'Shaun' or even 'Hot Fuzz' with all the lead characters being unsympathetic and the genuine laughs sporadic.

This Is the End

excellent start but loses its way, painfully cheesy singalong end.

Good Vibrations

hugely engaging and entertaining.


painfully dull, and rather silly.


another fine performance from McConnaghy and a excellent supporting cast especially the two young leads.

Cottage Country

A new nadir in awfulness, turned off after a record 15 minutes! !!

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

highly recommended if you're 12 years old.

White House Down

Die Hard in the White House, great fun.

Evil Dead
Evil Dead(2013)

Early reports are good.

World War Z
World War Z(2013)

excellent summer "blockbuster" entertainment.

The Call
The Call(2013)

Laughable ridden kidnap thriller saved by a neat ending


Four average stories, one or the most disappointing sequals EVER.

The Hangover Part III

Risable but not as bad as part 2, still contains two of the most vile movie characters ever though.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Three stars for the movie, five for Scarlett.

The Company You Keep

Three stars for the movie, five for Scarlett.

Oz the Great and Powerful

Pointless disappointing prequel whos only redeamimg feature is the bizarre casting of the sex bomb Mila Kunis as the Wicked Witch Of The West!!

Schindler's List

Pointless disappointing prequel whos only redeamimg feature is the bizarre casting of the sex bomb Mila Kunis as one of the Witches!!

Bullet to the Head

48 Hrs and Southern Comfort were great movies by Director Walter Hill back in the early 80's, sadly since then its been downhill and this is no exception.A grim action movie stuck in the 80s with equally grim squalid characters and a mumbling robotic Stallone.

Lovely Molly
Lovely Molly(2012)

Twisted and at times quite a nasty horror flick from the Blair Witch man.

Home Sweet Home

An absolute shocker of a movie, an all time turkey.


Much more than a "Rock" action movie, recommended.

Before Dawn
Before Dawn(2013)

A married couple go on a weekend trip to try rebuild their broken marriage, unaware of what is happening on the outside world. Slow burning, downbeat but solid low budget Brit horror with obvious nods to to 28 Days Later.

Mission To Lars

Genuinely heart warming stuff.


Daft but enjoyable B movie monster movie.

I Give It a Year

Above average bitter sweet rom-com

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Gory, funny, very entertaining.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

lacklustre is just about every department.

The Wedding Video

Rather lame, lacking genuine laughs.


Suprisingly good 'prison' drama with an excellent performance from lead Joe Cole.

A Common Man
A Common Man(2013)

A good story destroyed by awful direction and dialogue. Kingsley is excellent, but all this pales when Ben Cross is on screen, quite easily one of the worst on screen performances I have EVER seen, apparently this is a remake of an Indian film "One Wednesday" which is supposed to be superb, which must make this one of the most incompetant remakes ever.

The Last Stand

Wonderfully old fashioned (i.e 1980's) Arnie action movie, good fun.

Room 237
Room 237(2013)

Pretentious drivel.


Viscious brutal horror.

21 And Over
21 And Over(2013)

Childish and juvinile but likable and above all funny

The Lords of Salem

Painfully bad , a new low for Rob Zombie.

The Numbers Station

Not even Cusack can save this plodding rather average drama.

Storage 24
Storage 24(2013)

Cheep but very cheerful Brit Sci Fi flick, worth a look.

Dark Skies
Dark Skies(2013)

Unoriginal and painfully stupid.

Red Sands
Red Sands(2009)

Oh dear, nice idea very poorly excecuted.


Brilliantly black Brit comedy.

Welcome to the Punch

painfully slow and dull, a real let down.

The Possession

Piss poor "Exorcist" hokum, apparently based on a true story- yeah right!

My Brother The Devil

Intelligent well acted Brit Urban gang flick, recommended.

You've Been Trumped

Think Trump might be a megalomaniac arse?
You'd be right.

A Good Day To Die Hard

The Die Hard series hits a new low after part 4.

The ABCs of Death

So far I've managed the first four stories up to the letter D, painfull bad stuff.....


After the brilliance of Borat this is a serious disappointment.


Stathem kicks even more ass, fuck yeah!

Stand Off
Stand Off(2013)

so, so comedy, let down by a rather ludicrous finale.

Jack Reacher
Jack Reacher(2012)

good solid adult action movie.

Red White & Blue

in your face no bs urban horror/nightmare movie making.

Funeral Kings

slightly "Stand By Me", very enjoyable.


dreadful Brit farce that vomits out cliché after cliché.

Hard Shoulder

Literally a car crash of a film, pitifull


wildly inventive, superb.


A Clown (Ross Noble) comes back from the dead to reek vengeance on those he blames for his accidental death at a children's Birthday, party many years ago.

Kind of "Friday 13th" meets Freddy Kreugar with a mass dose of 60's gore legend Hershell Gordon Lewis, Stitches is purely played for (blood drenched) laughs.Ross Noble is perfect in the lead, he pretty much looks like a mad clown even without the makeup and red nose, some of the 'death scenes' are pretty inventive, especially two involving an umbrella and a bicycle pump!!


Not in the slightest bit scary, but great, gory fun, and a very entertaining black comedy.


Outstanding, hard hitting drama with a great debut from 11 year old Eloise Lawrence

The Angels' Share

Wonderful warm 'Hustle' style Brit comedy, not what I was expecting from Ken Loach.

The Liability

Direct to dvd but well worth a watch, Tim Roth is excellent as you would expect.

Wreck-it Ralph

Fine for 12 year old's but far too sacharine sweet for my liking.

Sushi Girl
Sushi Girl(2013)

you'll have never heard of it or never seen but god damm it's good!

When the Lights Went Out

Actually worse than the reviews would have you believe!


Creepy old school horror with some fine eerie visuals.

It's a Disaster

Smart, clever black comedy


Gritty, intelligent horror.

Stand Up Guys

Pacino, Arkin, Walken, what a cast, what could go wrong?
Well a dreadful tedious screenplay where you are clock watching under an hour into its running time isnt what I was expecting, dreadfully disappointing.

Texas Chainsaw

Following on from the events of the classic original, the Family are all killed in a shootout and the house torched by vigilantes, a lone infant ('Heather') is "rescued" by the Sheriff...then the movie throws a curve ball...well not really.

Fast forward to the 'present' and we're smack bang on the cliche train, a group of twenty somethings, all horny out to "PAARTAY!" , token black guy, slutty girl etc, head out with Heather to see her new found inheritance..can you see where this is going??

Less than half way through this mess and it's a world of horror cliche's and stereotypes we've seen countless times from talentless auteur's, every-things filmed in the dark, someone looks in a cabinet for no apparent reason, swings a mirror door back "ARGHH! WHAT'S THAT!!?" /loud blast of music, then Leatherface runs after the dumb ass's for a bit.

The plot, I use that term loosely, is like the characters, pretty dumb, the character Heather (Alexandra Daddario) is mid twenties but shouldn't she be a forty something!, how does she find out about the past events? (in the mid 70's!) Google? No, she casually leafs through the crime files in a Police station as if she's in the local Library!

There's very little here to lift spirits, a few gory slayings, the final third of the movie does improve very slightly, and there's always lead girl Daddario's gravity defying cleavage to admire, but that's it.

Please put an end to these piss poor franchise.

The Impossible

Based on the true story of a Spanish family (here portrayed as English) experience when a devastating Tsunami hit the coast of Sumatra, Thailand on 26th December 2004.
Ewan McGregor and Naiomi Watts are superb as the Parents,facing the ultimate horror, separated from the family in a Country devastated by one of the Worlds worst natural disasters.

The actual disaster is handled sensitively as it can, no OTT special fx, the film is almost in a documentary style, similar to Paul Greengrass excellent "United 93", low key, but never afraid to show the horrors unfolding.

Highly recommended.

Chernobyl Diaries

Directed by Oren Peli who brought us the first, and best, Paranormal Activity movie, Chernobyl Diaries tells the story of six young American vacationers taking a whistle stop tour of Europe, they visit the usual tourist 'traps' but whilst in Kiev they are offered an 'underground tour experience'...a visit to the abandoned city of Chernobyl....

The movie starts of quite promising, the leads aren't the usual precocious Yank brats that this type of movie throws up, the build up is slow and not over-dramatic, but once the 'action' kicks in it all falls apart.
It all starts to resemble an episode of the hideous "Lost" series, lots of running, shouting, hollering, snivelling, pointing of torches etc..No sense of dread or suspense, instantly forgettable.


An Airline Pilot 'Whip Whittaker (Denzil Washington) saves a plane from crashing in what was a near impossible to avert disaster, the investigation though brings up a dark and troubled side of 'Whips' addiction to drink and drugs.

We're only in the first week of the year and already we have one of the contenders for the films of 2013.An utterly compelling story, the initial crash is brilliantly shot (see youtube clip for a small insight below) and Denzil Washington gives a powerhouse performance throughout.

A stunning piece of film-making and a brilliant character study from a directorial great Robert Zemeckis ("Back To The Future","Cast Away", "Polar Express")


Anthony Hopkins stars as one of Cinema's greatest Directors Alfred Hitchcock, and the film details how he came to make the groundbreaking "Psycho" and the influence his wife Alma Reville (Helen Mirren) had over the production.

A beautifully structured and fascinating story, the two leads casting is truely inspired, Anthony Hopkins IS Alfred Hitchcock, Helen Mirren is yet again outstanding, with the mesmerising Scarlett Johansson as "Psychos" leading lady Janet Leigh.

A very good film telling the story of a classic groundbreaking time in Cinema. (the birth of the Slasher movie?)

This is 40
This is 40(2012)

Intelligent comedy but a good 30 minutes too long.


Aliens invade an Island in um...Ireland, the only way to survive is get me a flight!!!
I had slightly low expectations, hopefully mildly amused at best, but how wrong was I.
Utterly engaging characters, dry,witty dialogue, a real fun B-Movie horror flick so reminiscent of such 'classics' as Tremors and Deep Rising, with even a knowing nod to the drunken exploits of Gremlins towards the end.
Great Balti & a Beer Saturday night (or any night) entertainment.

The Baytown Outlaws

You want crazy characters, then get a load of this.Three redneck brothers are hired by Eva Longoria (woof!) to kill her abusive ex-husband played by Billy Bob Thornton, obviously it all goes horribly wrong and a bounty is put on their head.
OTT violence and equally OTT characters are on the menu in this fun flick, Billy Bob is Billy Bob, the three brothers you actually care about as they show genuine compassion in their 'mission', babes (the sexiest hit squad dispatched ever), bullets and broken bones, a fine, fun flick from the deep south, yee haa!

Some Guy Who Kills People

Ken (Kevin Boyd) is a lonely troubled man,fresh out of a mental home he lives with his mother and works in a dead end job, in his 'spare time' he murders people he deems responsible for a down trodden and miserable life.

Snappily directed with sympathetic character's, this is a very engaging movie, none more so than the teenage Ariel Gade as Kens daughter who puts in a great performance for someone so young.

Bloody, darkly funny and with good all round performances, this is a highly enjoyable flick and well worth seeking out

Silent Night
Silent Night(2012)

A killer Santa prowls a smal town US town killing all those who have been 'naughty' and not nice, that's pretty much the plot.Now I wasn't expecting much of this flick but I was hoping for some fun blood and guts gore with it's tongue planted firmly in its cheek, sadly this is very much lacking.

The pace of the movie is very laboured, actually a bit dull at times, reviews I'd read had my expectations 'high', I was hoping for some OTT slasher action, there is the occasional machete in the swede but not even that or Malcom McDowell's atrociuos acting save this limp effort.

Arthur Christmas

Ever wondered how Santa manages to deliver over 2 Billion presents in one night?
Simple, he gets the help of his family, an army of Elves and Military style high tech organisation....but one Christmas a solitary present is forgotten and Santa's goofy son Arthur makes it his mission to deliver said present before sunrise on Christmas morning.

This is what you would expect from Aardman Animations, fun,beautifully animated with wacky quirky characters etc...

Though I enjoyed it I didn't think it reached the dizzy heights that some reviews were giving it, possibly because the bar is so high after recent releases such as 'Up', 'Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs' and the tour-de-force of comedy 'Toy Story 3', but this is still fun stuff for young and old viewers alike.

The Details
The Details(2012)

An every day American suburban tale of adultery, poisoned cats, blackmail, a slightly mad neighbour,murder, marijuana, more adultery, liver transplants, oh and Raccoons...Lot's of Raccoons.

Wonderfully off the wall, a bit 'Very Bad Things' and a large slice of the classic 'Election', great cast, Toby McGuire is very reminiscent of Mathew Brodericks performance in the aforementioned 'Election', Laura Linney as the brilliantly bonkers next door neighbou Lili, and a the fabulous Ray Liotta, yeah the guy rose to stardom in the classic 'Good Fellas', something he could (obviously) never equal, but this movie shows yet again, what a great, and under-rated, actor he is.

Fun, dark, twisted....very entertaining stuff.

The Tournament

Every 10 years an underground big bucks 'tournament' is staged in an unsuspecting town, a group of ex-military, hired assassins, psychos etc assemble for a kill or be killed, last man standing wins, and the prize is big, $10M and the accolation that goes with it....

A low budget Brit flick with some big names (Robert Carlyle, Ving Rhames, Kelly Hu) this is a fun action flick that doesn't drop a gear in it's 90 minutes, daft, violent and pretty entertaining and its not often that a film of this ilk is set in Middlesborough!! (this does give a nice 'surreal' touch to the film)

Good head cracking nonsense.

Alex Cross
Alex Cross(2012)

Two Cops hunting a maniac serial killer (as opposed to well rounded), one Cops a bit of a 'lad', wise cracking, knows it all, the other, seen it all before, thinks he's the guy from 'The Wire', oh and his Wife's expecting....OH NO! (bound to end in tears)

On the minus side we've seen all before, 'Lethal Weapon' buddy movie, 'Along Came A Spider', '8MM' psycho killer on the loose etc.

On the plus side it is fairly entertaining and the mad, bad, head cracking loony lead Picasso, played by Jamie Fox, pushes all the buttons marked 'MENTAL'.

Lay the Favorite

Christ where do I begin with this car crash of a movie?

Directed (thrown together?) by Stephen Frears, he of 'Dangerous Liasons', 'Tamara Drewe' and 'High Fidelity' (yes the fabulous 'High Fidelity') words cannot describe the hideousness of this stinking turd.

A small town 'dancer' head to Vegas to make money as a cocktail waitress (Dad's chuffed-I'm not kidding, this is the level of this shite), she hooks up with an illegal bookmaker (Bruce Willis) and boredom, bad acting prevail for 90 minutes.

Bruce Willis is Bruce Willis, love the guy and he's only saving grace, Vince Vaughan plays the same character he has for 15 years since 'Swingers', Catherine Zeta Jone looks like the bride from 'Bride Of Frankenstein' and as for lead Rebecca Hall..where do I begin??

One of the most wooden performances I can remember, how did this woman get a job, yes the screenplay/dialogue is awful but her performance actually makes it worse, dipsy and dumb but never in an endearing way....

"I'm gonna stab you in the groin artery with a steak knife.... then watch you DIE.. whilst I watch horrible person!!"

Trouble with the Curve

Clint Eastwood plays Clint Eastwood, sorry, Gus Lobel, a long in the tooth Baseball (men's Rounders) Scout, who fears age might be catching up with him, and his friends and Family fear the same, but something Gus refuses to acknowledge in his stubbornness.

An above average screenplay is elevated to something heartwarming and watchable by the excellent cast.Amy Adams is engaging and charming as Gus's daughter, a high flying lawyer with a heart of gold, excellent support from the always excellent John Goodman and Justin Timberlake, and as for the great man himself, Mr Eastwood, I could watch him sell paint on QVC all day and still be entertained.

A film that plays it safe but presses all the right buttons

St George's Day

Fackin' 'ell Guv, it's yet another Cockney Gangsta movie!!

I'm sure there's a factory 'saaf of the river' churning out these movies, this one involves said Cockney gangsta's, the Russian Mafia, Football hooligans and the bizarre casting of Page 3 girl Keeley Hazel!!
The movie is choc full of the usual faces for a movie of this ilk, Craig Fairbrass, Dexter Fletcher, Frank Harper, Nick Moran, Janie Foreman etc...

Thankfully it's not as bad as I feared, the cockney slang is kept to a minimum, Charles Dance is excellent as the gangs 'advisor' but the same can't be said for Keeley Hazel's 'performance' as the Peckham Princess, which is one of the unintentional comedy performances of the year!

Stupid silly nonsense, but not the car crash of a flick I feared.


Now I've never been a huge fan of 2000 AD but Judge Dredd....well what a creation, Cop...Judge and Jury..Executioner!

Back in the 90's Sly Stallone was cast in the first ever celluloid outing of this classic comic book character, the reviews were terrible, I refused to watch it on principle, and still have to this day, he shows his face for fucks sake...sacrilege!!

Now 17 years later (17 years!!) we finally get what we have been waiting for, Dredd (the superb Karl Urban) is a Human 'RoboCop' dishing out Justice and punishment, helmet firmly planted on his head, gun blasting bad guys head, cheek bones and limbs off, top notch ultra violence!

His Rookie side kick Anderson (Olivia Firlby) is faultless, a solid no nonsense character who adds so much to Dredds almost robotic, expressionless Policing, adding some kind of humanity to the madness of Mega City 1.

A stark, bleak nihilistic adult, intelligent comic book film ( quite reminiscent of the classic 'Disrtict 9') with some top notch ultra violence, including the best scene involving 'we will kill you at any cost' one sided machine gun assault!!!!!


A woman gives birth, during the birth the baby kills the Surgeon and Nurse, then things get even sillier....

Quite simply this is without doubt one of the most hilariously awful films I have ever seen!!!

The 'acting', 'plot' and 'special effects' ( I use these terms very loosely) are not just B-movie but Z-movie, so atrocious are they.The whole film is littered with head scratching plot holes you could fly a 747 through, for example:
As I said the Surgeon and Nurse die during the birth of the baby, this doesn't seem to bother the mother Veronica (Sara Malakul Lane) as she lies there with her baby, next to Cops and two dead bodies!!

The Police are called when the parents suspect there is an intruder in their property, a Detective (sucking a lolly pop) turns up literally 20 seconds later!!

Veronica's husband kills himself by drinking boiling water, she doesn't seem too affected by this either....

Why does the Detective whilst looking for the intruder pick up a dead rat by its tail, look at it, then put put it down again as if it was a suspect?!

How has Veronica managed to get a super fit body only 6 days after giving birth?

Why, when discovering a dead Police Officer outside her house, does Veronica not call 911 but leave the Detective a voice mail message!?!?! (and why does he not turn up until later in the day?)

The dialogue is hilarious, my favourite being this exchange, Veronica's sister has just showered and is getting dressed, evil baby is 'watching'

Sister-"VERONICA GODDAMIT! Your Baby is a pervert!!"


Sister-"I was changing and it was watching me!!"

The ending is the icing on the turd flavoured cake, the evil baby show his ugly mug, he really does have a face only it's Mother could love...mental!!

So are there any plus points?

Well yes.

For starters 'actress' Sara Malakul Lane is super hot, so us guys have some eye candy, but, yes the film is beyond bad, but, it obeys the rules of bad (horror) movies, its truly dreadful. but most importantly,it's entertaining for all the wrong reasons and never dull or boring!

Red Dawn
Red Dawn(2012)

A film even more stupider than the original!!


The excellent Chloe Grace Moretz plays Luli, a Nebraska teen who decides to head to the bright lights of Las Vegas leaving behind her drunk of a father and a mother who has run off with another man, sadly things don't go to plan when she hitches a ride with Glenda (Blake Lively)

The story and performances are all very good, but yet again the stand out is Chloe, her performances in this and other films such as Kick Ass and Let Me In are astonishing for such a young actress (she's barely 15 now!)The movie is gritty as Luli is exposed to the dark under belly of life, drugs, drunks, low life's out to use (and abuse) her.Chloe is well supported by a good cast, Juliette Lewis, Blake Lively and a cameo from Alec Baldwin and I was astonished at the films poor rating on Rotten Tomatoes of 5% fresh, critics eh!?

A mature adult drama well worth a look

Half Baked
Half Baked(1998)

Half funny,half stupid.

The Imposter
The Imposter(2012)

The 'story' is so OTT you think it must be made's not.

The Bay
The Bay(2012)

Never heard of it? Nor me, but so well worth a watch, excellent horror flick that Cronenberg would have been proud of.

Paranormal Activity 4

After the rather good third episode this returns to the bland unoriginality that was present in the poor second episode.


excellent entertainment with a nail biting finale.

[REC] 3 Genesis

Tonights flick me thinks.....


Contains the usual Bond flaws, too many 'smart' quips, Judy Dench, all round sillyness (why doesn't the bad guy just shoot Bond instead of trying to drop a train on his head, and where were all the commuters on that rush hour!) But it's all good fun, the two hours+ running time flys by and you'll walk out into the foyer with a smile on your face.

The Watch
The Watch(2012)

Ignore the stuffy reviews, enjoyable Men In Black style sillyness.

Moonrise Kingdom

Great cast in a rather madcap,quirky movie that thankfully doesn't hit the pretentious button to hard, a usual trait of director Wes Anderson.

Riot (G.B.H.)

Starts off pretty awfully with the usual cliches but surprisingly pulls itself together for the final third.

The Revenant
The Revenant(2012)

Rubbish title,super smart zombie vigalante movie though, very funny at times, cool ending.One of the 'must watch' movies of the year.

The Day
The Day(2012)

A pretty grim experience not helped by some quite dreadful 'lighting' about "what the hell is going on??"

Fire With Fire

Fire Fighter vrs Aryan Race Nazis, who will win,
There's only one way to find out.....FIGHT!!!!

Cockneys vs Zombies

Contains Zombies and Michelle Ryan..that'll do.

Ruby Sparks
Ruby Sparks(2012)

highly original, highly recommended.

The Campaign
The Campaign(2012)

any movie with a baby getting punched in the face has gotta be worth watching.

Wrong Turn 5
Wrong Turn 5(2012)

Cheap gore fx, dumb ass dialogue, wooden 'acting', seen it all before shlock horror.

Killer Joe
Killer Joe(2012)

Veteren Director William Friedkin (The Exorcist, French Connection) brings home the bacon with a great slice of Texan redneck of the films of 2012.


Good old fashioned scary things that go BUMP!!!!! in the night horror movie, good 'fun'.

Ill Manors
Ill Manors(2012)

Hard hitting outstanding debut from Plan B.

Taken 2
Taken 2(2012)

Lame PG12 sequel, it's got the ingredient's, just needed a director with the balls to make an adult thriller.

The Dinosaur Project

average Jurassic Park wannabe.


Seen it all before conspiracy thriller.

Win Win
Win Win(2011)

Great cast and a fine, fine feel good movie, highly recommended.

The Expendables 2

just when you think the action genre can't get more ludicrous.......

Red Lights
Red Lights(2012)

Good premise and cast, dreadful execution.Avoid.

Hit & Run
Hit & Run(2012)

True Romance style comedy thriller which sadly runs out if ideas in the final third.

Premium Rush
Premium Rush(2012)

Thriller that runs out of puff and thrills quite early on, though the chase scenes are above par.

Interview with a Hitman

It's Luke Goss from Bros as a mean and moody Eastern European hitman, worth a look with a nice twist.


You'll be looking for the detonator yourself after barely an hour with this motley crew!

The Incredible Hulk

Good effort only slighty marred by dodgy CGI and the intolerable Liv Tyler.

Payback Season

Seen it all before low life gangsta nonsense....innit...bruv.


Pretty painful dated shite, incredibly directed by Donald McIntyre, the usual meatheads appear from Chelsea etc, voice-over by Sean Bean (who should know better) and whatisface from god knows how many Brit gangster movies.It's only saving grace being the features on the problems in Argentina and Europe.

The Bourne Legacy

Intelligent adult thriller with a fine cast (Renner,Weitz,Norton) though the obligatory final chase scene I thought was slightly bloated, a worthy addition though to the Bourne name.

Bad Karma
Bad Karma(2011)

Run of the mill revenge flick.


Pistol popping head cracking, Statham wise cracking fun.

The Cold Light of Day

Dreadful, just how did Willis and Weaver get involved in this 'Bourne' wannabe mess??

Total Recall
Total Recall(2012)

Mediocre sci-fi tale, just like the over-rated original.

The Tall Man
The Tall Man(2012)

Starts out as a standard boogieman/ horror,finishes off as something far more original and interesting.

The Rig
The Rig(2010)

Low budget creature feature with piss poor direction, acting and dialogue, I was hoping everyone would die.

We Bought a Zoo

Sentimental and twee, ticks all the family movie boxes.

Area 407
Area 407(2012)

Cool B movie with a fine ending


fairly good cast but a movie full of 'bad cop'cliches.


Highly enjoyable telling of a true story with Shirley McClane and the ever dependable Jack Black.


Swear Bear, we love you.

The Three Stooges

Soon becomes a painful experience after less than 20 mins, the original outfit were never that funny, this is close to dire.


Enjoyable low brow thriller with a cool 90s retro cast of Val Kilmer, Gina Gershon and Ray Liota.


The producers try to make a Bridesmaids/chick com, but fail miserably, with a bunch of characters that would at home in the risible 'Hangover' series.

The Hunger Games

It's like they made a children's film out of a children's book....oh hang on they did, hire Battle Royale instead of this MTV PG12 friendly shite.


A bizarre mix of Scream/Easy A/Donnie Darko, trys way to hard to be super clever but is worth bearing with, as it does contain some amusing moments and is worth hanging in there.


Right first things first, its yet another 'found footage' horror movie, but believe me this so much more.
An anthology of 5 stories by 5 different directors which will blow your socks off (although one regarding a haunted apartment isn't quite up yo the high/crazy standard of the other four head *****!!)

This is genuinely one of the best movies in its genre I've seen since the original [REC], creepy, scary, gory in your face sledgehammer horror!!

The Raid: Redemption

Head cracking face punching action.


Utter cheese, Transformers at sea nonsense, running time would have been a lot shorter had the worlds millatry turned up before the final 5 minutes!!!


Mad Norwegian Coen style noir....highly recommended.

Men in Black III

after the piss poor second effort this is a decent return to form, though yet again slightly spoilt by another dull, characterless 'bad guy'.


Olly Stones back with Salma Hayek, John Travolta and Benici Del Toro..fuck yeah!!

96 Minutes
96 Minutes(2012)

excellent well acted drama

The Corridor
The Corridor(2010)

Spoilt by a shite ending.

The Expendables

Good old fashioned head cracking nonsense.


crass, turgid hopeless mess of a 'comedy'

Soldiers of Fortune

I-Phone app effects, cheesiness with a laughable plot, exploding Jet Skis, bad guys straight out of Austin Powers (but less believable) a right hoot!


Undiscovered litle treasure, highly enjoyable stuff.

Silent House
Silent House(2012)

OK jumpy 'horror' flick saved by the rather lovely Elizebeth Olsen


An absolute shit fest of a 'horror' flick, Scooby Doo is more scary, and with better dialogue, plot and acting


Cliche ridden prison flick just about saved by a wise cracking Guy Pearce.

The Pact
The Pact(2012)

Lame seen it all before 'horror' which goes through the motions until its head scratching, what 'pact'?

Dear God No!
Dear God No!(2011)

I love a cheap exploitation movie, Bad Ass and Hobo With A Shotgun were two recent top examples, this though is pure low budget shite, avoid at all costs.

Project X
Project X(2012)

People get drunk, hot chicks show off their tits, the cops turn up, it all goes pear shaped, lesson;you want to be popular? hold a kick ass party, tough shit if your parents house get's leveled.

Piranha 3DD
Piranha 3DD(2012)

Double the terror? I don't think so, the 'original' was great fun, gory with it's tongue firmly in its cheek, this is rather dull, less gory, dumb with very little fun, only the Hoff saves it's sorry ass from a lower rating.

Bad Ass
Bad Ass(2012)

Danny Trejo would kick Chuck Norris ass

The Dictator
The Dictator(2012)

After the pretty dreadful Bruno this is a fine return to form, silly, daft, even some heavy social staire, but overall very funny.

The Innkeepers

Fine The Shining style horror/ghost flick.

Iron Sky
Iron Sky(2012)

Great fun B movie idea that doesn't quite fufill the promise.

Bus 174 (Ônibus 174)

Powerful highly recommended documentary.

Marvel's The Avengers

A rather enjoyable 2 hours of punch ups, explosions and Scarlett Johansson in leather

Get the Gringo

Early contender for movie of the year,fabulous piece of entertainment from start to finish.

The Devil Inside

Quite, quite dreadful, as bad as critics would have you believe.

This Means War

Mediocre rom com at best

21 Jump Street

Probably 15 mins to long but still great dumb ass likeable fun with some nice one liners


Excellent stuff, Cloverfield meets Superman, a movie for an Adult audience
Second viewing even better!

The Theatre Bizarre

The first two stories are painfully bad, Tom Savini's effort only a slight improvement, I gave up caring by then and switched off.


Feels like a seen it all before 'Buried' crossed with an episode of 24, but is saved by a fine kick ass twist ending.

Murder, Set, Pieces

Rated one of the most violent films ever by Total Film, yes it might well be, trouble is its awful with non existent plot, production values and acting .Risible.

American Reunion

Nice to see the gang together but sadly there are no real laugh out loud moments, sadly rather forgetable, though Alyson Hannigan is like a fine Wine.....

Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol

More of the same, flashy bangy forgetable

The Breakfast Club

THE 80's brat pack 80's flick...."HEY, HEY, HEY..HEY!!"

Fast Times At Ridgemont High

Classic 80's US High School flick, Jeff Spicoli-legend.


Starts off all Blair Witch...then goes MENTAL!!!!!

The Children
The Children(2008)

I wanted everyone to die.

Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film

As the title suggests this is a documentary chronicling the rise of the so called slasher movie in the 1980's with such films as "Friday 13th", "Halloween", "Prom Night" and the "Nightmare on Elm Street" right up to the "Scream" series of the mid 90's.

The film contains some great slasher moments (Jason's 'death' etc) but the highlight is the vast array of interviews with big names from the genre, there's the usual big guns such as Wes Craven and John Carpenter, the genius that is Tom Savini, but you also get loads of lesser known names thrown in the mix with plenty of interesting anecdotes such as Paul Lynch ("Prom Night") and Fred Walton ("When a Stranger Calls", "April Fool's Day").

If you're a fan of the genre, which I am, then you'll love this highly enjoyable documentary.


How do I put it, all rather 'mehh'

The Artist
The Artist(2011)

Best film of the year Mr Oscar?
No way, but still very enjoyable original stuff
(and the Dog does rock)

The Woman in Black

Classic Hammer ghost flick, good stuff with some nice scary moments.

Man on a Ledge

Daft, silly nonsense but entertaining never the less.

The Grey
The Grey(2012)

Rubbish title but a highly recommended movie, great stuff!!

We Need to Talk About Kevin

The worst cinematic devil child since Lee Remick gave birth in 'The Omen', 2012 gets off to an awesome start, a superb piece of film-making.


Excellent Brit drama with some fine performances from the cast.

Dream Home
Dream Home(2010)

Location, Location, Location with some social commentary re the current global economic meltdown oh and lashings of ultra-violence, gotta love those crazy Japs!!!

Seeking Justice

A slight improvement on Cages last few flicks, Trespass and Drive Angry, but only a slight one.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Every bit as good as the first and more, Downey Jnr again the star of the show,great entertainment.


Think Bourne with a chick, good cast, good head cracking action thriller.

Megan Is Missing

Gruelling drama/horror mockumentary with a tough final 20 minutes viewing

The Hangover Part II

More of the same but even less funny

Fright Night
Fright Night(2011)

PG13 'horror' saved by the ever dependable Colin Farrell


Good but not the movie it could have/should have been.

Real Steel
Real Steel(2011)

Robo-Rocky-good fun.

What's Your Number?

Cheesy but but enjoyable fluff.

Kill List
Kill List(2012)

The biggest kick in the bollocks finale you can imagine-mental in your face movie making.

The Sitter
The Sitter(2011)

A 'comedy' movie with a running time of 81 minutes and when you haven't smiled let alone ginned in the first 35mins is not a good sign, utterly dreadful stuff, the worst movie of 2011.


Good movie, tedious sport

Hostel: Part III

T&A, gore, T&A, and more gore, enjoyable straight to DVD horror.


Utterly predictable Rocky meets UFC, but utterly enjoyable!

Pearl Jam Twenty

Excellent documentary on the bands 20th anniversary.

Straw Dogs
Straw Dogs(2011)

Pointless, brainless remake.

The Ides of March

Intelligent stuff, oh and movie poster of the year!

Tower Heist
Tower Heist(2011)

80s style heist fun with Matthew Broderick and Eddie Murphy-yay!


Hard going but intelligent stuff, good performance from Woody as you'd expect.


Hard hitting directorial debut from Paddy Considine with a superb performance from Peep Shows Olivia Coleman.

The Thing
The Thing(2011)

Fairly decent prequel to the 80's horror masterpiece.


A cancer 'comedy'? One of the movies of the year.

God Bless Ozzy Osbourne

Fabulous warts and all stuff, God bless you indeed Ozzy.

Cowboys & Aliens

Forgettable and half hour too long.

Midnight in Paris

Wholly original 'comedy', beautifully shot, funny, sweet, recommended.


Confused/bored after 11 minutes......

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)

Grim factor +10, no redeeming features whats so ever.

In Time
In Time(2011)

Good idea poorly executed with some equally poor dialogue, and just how does Amanda Seyfried mange to run around in 6" heels for the entire duration of the film?


Heart warming stuff with some fine performances from the young cast and of course, John C Reilly.

Hellraiser: Revelations

Badly acted nonsense, but slightly enjoyable nonsense with a thin 75 min run time and really, who doesn't love the Cenobites?! (oh and the dvd cover makes it look like Pinhead taking a painful dump)

The Woman
The Woman(2011)

This years feel good family flick.


Straight to DVD "hostage movie by numbers"

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Excellent comedy/ drama with a fine cast and similar to last years superb "The Kids Are Alright"

Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2`

Run of the mill slasher flick enlivened by some quite OTT gore.

The Inbetweeners

Knob, shit and boob jokes abound, doesn't fail in the crudeness or laughs.

The Resident
The Resident(2012)

Oh dear dear me, there I was thinking The Room Mate was a stinker, well this isn't quite as bad, but that's saying nothing.Melodramatic, absurd, nonsense, oh and a memo to film-makers, nail guns DO NOT operate like real guns, THEY HAVE A SAFETY DEVICE BUILT IN!!!

The Holding
The Holding(2012)

Melodramatic toss, the type of average psycho/drama you might get on ITV at 9pm.


Enjoyable revenge flick, good cast and some nice Pulp Fiction style black humour.

Attack the Block

Vile bunch of creatures reek havoc on a London council estate...then some Aliens arrive. Enjoyable creature feature tarnished by a horrible bunch wannabe gangstas.

Friends With Benefits

Above average rom-com, Kunis and Timberlake are excellent with a fine support from Woody Harrelson, Jenna Elfman and Richard Jenkins plus a witty script and fine score.

Final Destination 5

More of the same but a return to 'form' compared to the last two, more OTT gore/death sequences (the gymnast is a peach), pretty awful acting and dialogue, but it's a 'fun' harmless 90 mins of 'how will they meet their end' scenarios with an enjoyable 'twist'.

The Beaver
The Beaver(2011)

Daft title, but excellent drama on a persons decent into depression, excellent performances all round from Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster and the star of the future Jennifer Lawrence.

Horrible Bosses

On at The Curzon tomorrow......

Super 8
Super 8(2011)

Fabulous young cast, a real affectionate homage to ET, Explorers and just being young and living in a town with a monster living in the neighbourhood, top class Summer blockbuster entertainment.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Intelligent Sci-Fi, as good as I hoped it would be, if not better.

Hobo With a Shotgun

Utterly ludicrous, incredibly violent, and superb fun for the whole family (Manson family that is) Forget 'Machete', this is THE modern day exploitation flick.


Jason Statham cracking swedes...what more could you want?

Lake Mungo
Lake Mungo(2009)

Not the most appealing title but a good ghost story in the Paranormal Activity vein.

Cell 211 (Celda 211)

Probably the best film this year most people will miss whilst watching Transformers, Harry Potter or other fucking no brain kids movies.


Think 'Kick Ass' with even more violence, dark, funny, fine cast (Rainn Wilson, Michael Rooker, Kevin Bacon, Liv Tyler and a awesome performance from Ellen Page) Highly recommended stuff.


Excellent hard hitting drama that thankfully doesn't descend into Hollywood style 'Death Wish' revenge/vigilante flick.


Low key coming of age Brit flick, recommended.

Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher(2011)

Average but likeable comedy saved by a good cast, Timberlake, Segal and the well above average Cameron Diaz.


Slightly un-plausable twist, but still a pretty good gritty Brit-prison flick!

Take Me Home Tonight

Ignore the stuffy critics, thoroughly enjoyable "80's" flick, good solid cast, plenty of laughs, fine soundtrack, a John Hughes movie in 2011!!!

The Ward
The Ward(2011)

Highly enjoyable shlock horror, plenty of jump out of the seat moments, a very creepy 'creature', liberal splash of gore and delectable eye-candy (Amber Heard).


Good but not great, slightly predictable but a cut above your average chick-flick, thank god.

The Roommate
The Roommate(2011)

A car crash of a movie, struggled through the first 20 minutes, did a RT search, oh dear, 4%.....OFF!

The Mechanic
The Mechanic(2011)

Does what is says on the tin.

Stake Land
Stake Land(2011)

"100 Days Of Night" meets "The Road"


Well worth a look, with a slight Donnie Darko twist.

Morning Glory

Twee sentimental sugary mediocrity.

X-Men: First Class

Looks like a trip to the big screen me thinks...

Cedar Rapids
Cedar Rapids(2011)

30 minutes into this and not one gone!

Battle: Los Angeles


Hall Pass
Hall Pass(2011)

A vile unfunny insult to your intelligence.


Starts off all a bit Superman/Iron Man then goes a bit Masters Of The Universe, good fun.


Let down by a slightly weaker second half.

The Dilemma
The Dilemma(2011)

A miserable excuse for a 'comedy', not even the strong cast can save this turkey.

No Strings Attached

Starts off ok-ish, but honestly, is there a more annoying actor than Ashton Kutcher, Demi, what are you doing with this drip, facebook me and I'll give you a second chance.

Goodbye Charlie Bright

What a wonderful undiscovered Brit gem-highly recommended.

Wake Wood
Wake Wood(2009)

Daft but enjoyable 70's style Brit horror flick from Hammer.

Cherry Bomb
Cherry Bomb(2004)

Fairly decent Brit teen angst flick.

Paranormal Activity 2

An hour and a half home movie with a few SHOCKS thrown in that we've all seen done countless times does not make a good horror flick.

The King's Speech

Thankfully a movie that deserves it umteen Bafta nominations

Easy A
Easy A(2010)

If you're a fan of John Hughes wonderful 80s teen flicks then this will put you back in a High School heaven. One of the smartest funniest flicks in the past few years, highly recommended.


Hard hitting Brit flick set on the tough streets of 70s Glasgow.

The Green Hornet

A few good laughs but the joke is over stretched by 20 minutes

I Spit On Your Grave

Grim, unpleasant, brutal remake, not for the feint hearted.

Let Me In
Let Me In(2010)

Excellent remake of "Let The Right One In" for those who can't multitask i.e read subtitles and watch a movie

True Grit
True Grit(2010)

OI critics!!! talk about emperors new clothing


Good but nowhere near the masterpiece that critics are labelling it.


A real unexpected treat, great gags , the kids will love it but so will the adults with Godfather gags and a few metal tracks thrown in the mix

127 Hours
127 Hours(2010)

Riveting, claustrophobic, gut wrenching, but ultimately uplifting, another great feature from Danny Boyle.

The Fighter
The Fighter(2010)

Excellent performances from Bale and Wahlberg, real life Rocky with brains.

Dog Pound
Dog Pound(2010)

Excellent US adaptation of the classic 1979 'Scum' and every bit as powerful as Alan Clarkes original.


A late entry to one of the the movie of the year lists with an astonishing finale.


Be careful who you next "add as friend" on Facebook......

Bonded By Blood

Seen it all before Laaaanden fackin gangster movie but entertaining stuff never the less.

The Last Exorcism

Blair Witch meets The Exorcist and shakes hands with The Wicker Man!

Operation: Endgame

I was peeling onions whilst watching this so have a valid excuse.

Hatchet II
Hatchet II(2010)

Goofy,very gory and not to be taken seriously.


Seen it all before heist movie with a good cast wasted.

The Town
The Town(2010)

One of the films of the year, outstanding .

Winter's Bone

Well acted hard hitting drama

The Social Network

Utterly engrossing and highly recommended


Not nearly as bad as critics would have you believe.

The Loved Ones

A hidden Aussie horror gem, gory, grim but great fun.

A Serbian Film

Sweet Jesus, one of the most grimmest movie experiences you could imagine, never likely to be released uncut in the UK.

Due Date
Due Date(2010)

Downey Jnr is on top form as he punches a child and gobs in a dogs face.


Fairly entertaining stuff with some greats from our 80s/90s past (Willis, Jackson,Mirren) plot is pretty forgettable but it's the stars who shine in this hokehum

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Similar on style to "Kick Ass" but taking the whole comic book style right up to the max, great characters, fun filled story, great one liners, all in all just bonkers!!

The Ghost Writer

Excellent political thriller very relevant to today's climate.

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

Awesome powerful drama, highly recommended.

Dead Snow (Død snø)

Evil Dead Nazis in Norway, bloody bonkers and brilliant.

The Hole
The Hole(2012)

High hopes for this movie which starts off well but fails ultimately fails to deliver, slightly dull plot with no real pay- off, disappointing.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

OTT, bonkers, sick, yep all the above but still a pretty good "shlocker" flick, brutal stuff it must be said especially during the films finale.

Piranha 3-D
Piranha 3-D(2010)

Dreadful characters and plot, but gory and funny, with a great final scene and the added bonus of Kelly Brook!

Cherry Tree Lane

Good gritty Brit thriller the trouble is we've seen it all before (Eden Lake, Last house ...) etc.


Slow burning but intelligent sci-fi, don't expect any independence day chest beating


Good points: A return to the feel of the original, gory and the Predators look great.
Bad Point: To save cash the film takes place predominantly at night so you can hardly see fuck all.

Get Him to the Greek

Starts off as you would hope/expect, Russell Brand being Russell Brand, lots of laughs Inc Puff Daddy as an OTT manager, bit the final third of the movie it turns from comedy to movie with a message, Inc a quite painfully uncomfortable "three some" scene. Good but ultimately flawed.

The Other Guys

Great miss match buddy Cop movie with Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg,the gags come thick and fast with the daftness of Anchorman, only criticism is that is a little overlong and could have been shorn of 10 minutes or so.


Babes, bullets and blood,that machete in a nutshell, gloriously OTT, the perfect movie for a late night and a load of beer (or Tequila )


Woahh!! Were did this film come from? Never heard of it, low expectation but what a film, not what you'd expect after the first 15 mins or so, gritty, nasty and full of the unexpected, a hidden gem.

The Disappearance of Alice Creed

Above average hostage-thriller with just a cast of three.

Four Lions
Four Lions(2010)

More brilliance from Chris Morris (Brass Eye etc) not really a comedy but a very thoughtful film on a very touchy subject, brilliantly achieved too.


Very amusing 80's action spoof with the funniest sex scene since Team America.


Bonkers monster movie David Cronenberg would be proud of !!!!!!

Iron Man 2
Iron Man 2(2010)

Missing all the wit, action and drama of the first movie, one serious let down only slighty brightened up by the appearance of Scarlett Johanssen.


Kick Ass does indeed kick ass.

The A-Team
The A-Team(2010)

Does what it says on the tin, goofy fun action


Think Bourne with a Babe, highly entertaining stuff right up to the last frame.

Toy Story 3
Toy Story 3(2010)

The third episode in what turns out to be THE perfect trilogy.

Grown Ups
Grown Ups(2010)

Tedious rubbish from a great cast of comics, where's the laughs fellas?

Let the Right One In

One of the best Vampire movies since "Near Dark"-it's that good.

The Strangers

I've seen scarier episodes of Scooby Doo, Hollywood horror hokum

The Bourne Ultimatum

Non-stop action.....Bond has a lot to follow up to with this effort


God knows how this film got a theatrical release.Melodramatic, zero tension and very average effects....a right old turkey, and a wet one at that.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Seen the original? Then don't bother with this tiresome horse shit, adds nothing to the original that you need to know and basically is another remake of the classic.

30 Days of Night

Near Dark meets Dusk Till Dawn meets Blade with a slice of The Thing style claustrophobia, gory recommended stuff.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

A good laugh that was unfairly slated by the stuck up critics, as stated by others Sadler and James make a good comedy couple-no pun intended!!


Fabulous animation, nice story, very much aimed at an older audience as there's far less slapstick than you would expect with the story taking more time to develop, highly recommended though.


Great special effects, some good comic moments and LOADS of action, Megan Fox is cast for one reason and it's not her acting skills.

Reign Over Me

Very well acted but pretty depressing stuff at times.

The Condemned

Morally reprehensible, but fuck that, lots of ass gets kicked and people get blown up, shabba!

Shoot 'Em Up
Shoot 'Em Up(2007)

Right lets get the plot out the way first, guy saves pregnant woman, delivers baby, protects baby form bad guys out to kill it, and him.

That's it, let's not beat about the bush this film is ridiculous, preposterous, downright stupid, with some of the cheesiest dialogue you could imagine....and I loved every bullet riddled head cracking minute.

Clive Owen is a blast as the carrot (yes carrot) chomping trench coated bad ass, with a BAD, yes BAD attitude.Paul is a revelation as one real, real evil and sadistic bad guy, we get a bit of glamour with the addition of Monica Belluci but sadly she seems a bit wasted amongst the carnage present, a shower scene might have been a nice rest bite bullets flying.

This film has it all for the Saturday night pop corn no-brainer out there, shoot out, LOTS of shoot outs, car chases, bad gags and puns that would make a Roger Moore Bond blush, a head banging soundtrack, an Italian babe.....great fun, like watching last years "Crank" on Angel Dust!


In the deepest swamps of Louisiana a diverse group of tourists go on a "haunted swamp tour", what they don't know is a psychotic killer is loose, and he wants to spill blood!

If you're a fan of 80's slasher classics such as "Friday 13th" and "The Burning" this is for you, possibly one of the goriest films in past years, each murder out splatters the previous.This isn't your grubby"torture-porn" style flick though, this film has it's tongue firmly in it's cheek with plenty of black humour and wacky characters to enjoy, the perfect entertainment on a late Saturday night with a few beers.

The film is a real homage to the 80's early 90's horror flick not just with the OTT gore and daft clueless characters but with plenty of cameos from such genre stalwarts as Robert Englund, Kane "Jason Voorhees" Hodder and Candyman's Tony Todd.

If "Itchy And Scratchy" made a slasher flick this would be it.

Death Proof
Death Proof(2007)

Bar the car crash and the OTT ending this really is so, so dull, do we really need 90 minutes plus of four women wittering on calling each other MF and n*****s?
Get your head out of your backside Quentin.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Christ you thought the first one was bad, you ain't seen nothing fellas...all men are studs, all women straight out of FHM, piss poor story,this film has no positives.

Satan's Little Helper

So bad it's good, not sure whether to give it one star or five, oh and I agree with a previous reviewer, Katheryn Winnicks breasts were the real stars ;-)

28 Weeks Later...

Awesome, loved every gory kick ass minute right up to the fabulous of the year so far!!

The Assassination of Richard Nixon

Awesome performance from Sean Penn, great movie with a kind of Taxi Driver edge to it.

Wind Chill
Wind Chill(2007)

Wasn't expecting much but turned out to be a fine intelligent little psychological horror movie, good plot and acting from the two leads, well worth a look.