Da 5 Bloods
On the Record
I May Destroy You
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Much like a Jess Franco women-in-prison film except instead of naked women getting tortured and discovering each others bodies, you get a fellow with super human strength literally punching holes in other fellows. The strangling with own intestines scene is worth the admission price alone.
We're talking Peter Jackson quantity of gore and, indeed, quality of effects here, so it's impossible to take it seriously, which is fortunate as this film is eye goungingly violent. Right up my street.
Nowhere near as bad as I thought this was supposed to be. A few things excited me in particular. First of all Big Ed from Twin Peaks is in it playing a character called Ed. Also I watched Die Hard not so long ago and the FBI goon in that is the main, imaginatively named bad guy, Sanchez. I got my Wayne Newton and Wayne Knight mixed up though so was disappointed that Newman didn't put in an appearance.
Title song - fairly poor. I call it Licence to Kilt, because when she says Licence to Kill, she doesn't quite finish off the word Kill and there's a cymbal crash or something that makes it sound more like Kilt than Kill. I'm sure there's proper nipple in the opening titles as well, though you'd have to be quick.
This will always be, for me at least, the film where they explode a guy in a compression chamber. Having now seen a few more films than when I last saw Licence to Kilt, I assume this is a nod to concentration camp/evil experiment classic Men Behind The Sun.
I guess the film suffers from a lack of spectacular. It doesn't help that quite a few of the action sequences take place either at sea or underwater - not the realm of fast reflexes. Even the death of Sanchez is a slightly tossed off, oh I'll set him on fire. Also Sanchez doesn't want to take over the world, he just wants to sell some drugs. He doesn't even seem too bothered when all his drugs are sent up in smoke - he clearly has plenty of cash in the bank to make this particular deal fairly insignificant.
But this one is personal and so fair nuff. Oh yeah, Dalton is pretty Welsh in this. Not quite Partridge boyo Welsh, but still fairly not-terribly-bad-ass Welsh (and I still prefer Living Daylights - possibly my favourite non-racist Bond film).
My first viewing ever and this was much more ace than I expected it to be - very much looking forward to the next four films - they must be as good surely?
First off, I know it's entrenched into popular culture but it seems a bit off that the grand finale of the film is spoiler-splashed all over the DVD packaging. The Fight Club DVD doesn't have a picture of Ed Norton with an equals sign next to a picture of Brad Pitt. 6th Sense DVD doesn't show Bruce Willis in a coffin. Usual Suspects DVD doesn't have a picture of Kevin Spacey with a speech bubble saying "Hi there, I'm Keyser Soze, how's your mom?" There Will Be Blood DVD doesn't have.... no, I've not quite worked out what the point of that film was yet.
As in all those cases, it's the journey to the spoiler that's entertaining but when you have Charlon Heston in a spaceship headed for Earth, crash landing in a place that looks an awful lot like Earth, with lots of humans knocking around (as mute as they may be, they're clearly humans) - it's a bit difficult to get past the foresight and go "jeez, Charlton, it's obviously Earth."
Despite all that, this was great - I wasn't expecting Inherit The Wind (with spaceships and monkeys). And I can almost forgive Chalton Heston for being a dick when he provides such brilliantly hammy acting. He's such a dick in the first half hour he could be a marine in Aliens.
Oh and Nova is super fit.
Erm, I think I might have missed something here, I didn't think this was that great. Yes the last ten minutes do contain one scene which is pretty ace, but the preceding 80 minutes, while not boring or particularly unenjoyable, were just a bit plodding, gradually investigating a myth without any grand finale.
I knew it wasn't a gory splatter flick so I kind of assumed it was gonna be a ramp up the tension until a huge release of scary madness. Not really, unless you count a seemingly endless scene of manual well emptying as tense. So was it all worth it for that one (pretty famous) scene? I dunno, maybe, but I will certainly be watching the sequel and prequel, so I must have liked something!