Minya Awsumsawce's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

The Amazing Spider-Man

This film is a lot darker than its predecessors - there's a lot more soul to it. Definitely the better Spiderman film of the lot. Also, Andrew Garfield is adorable in this.


This movie is just like watching a real-life episode of Family Guys. So many guest appearances by voice actors from the popular TV show, so many jokes and scenes that could have been ripped out of various episodes. This film made me laugh and it definitely made me cry. Would highly recommend this to anyone who is a fan of Family Guy - or Seth MacFarlane's sense of humour, for that matter!

Hope Springs
Hope Springs(2012)

A middle-aged couple find their marriage in trouble when they realise they're no longer sleeping in the same room, and haven't had sex in quite some time. They seek out the help of a marriage counsellor (Steve Carell) who teaches them how to be with one another again, and how to find that love they once shared.

A very cute film about love and insecurity, and learning to communicate all over again. I liked this film.

The Accidental Husband

Very poorly written - plot holes galore! The only thing that saves this film is how adorably quirky Uma Thurman is, and how attractive Jeffrey Dean Morgan is.

Scream 4
Scream 4(2011)

Don't take this film too seriously, and you might enjoy it. Meta meta meta. This film makes fun of itself and then some. Good for those of you who've enjoyed previous Scream films, and who just want something mindless to watch.


This movie is hilarious, heartbreaking, and hysterics-inducing! Definitely recommend this to anyone who wants something that will make them laugh, squirm uncomfortably, and cry (and possibly all three at the same time!).

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

The art direction, the choreography, and the editing in this film have the makings of a brilliant action flick. However, the film couldn't decide which direction it wanted to go in, and that really let it down. Partly about Abraham Lincoln's life as a vampire hunter, and partly about his time in politics - I guess it's left up to the viewer to decide whether this film is about kicking vampire's asses, or a social commentary on the effects of slavery.

Rock of Ages
Rock of Ages(2012)

Definitely a fun movie with a lot of awesome music in it. If you can move past some of the mediocre performances and poor casting choices, you're sure to like this film.

End of Watch
End of Watch(2012)

End of Watch has a bit of a slow beginning, and for a while there you're not even sure if there's a storyline. However, the film is based on these two characters that you just can't help but like. There's enough action and emotion in this to keep you engaged, but you might need a box of tissues by the end of it.


This is a great horror film, despite the ending. The music, the direction, and the editing all meld together nicely to create great suspense. And there's just enough freaky in this to make you want to hide under your blanket. It's a shame the ending fell flat.


This movie is worth it for the scene in the surgical chamber!

The Happening

Not a bad little film. The premise was good, but as with most M. Night Shyamalan films, things go a little haywire. The acting in this was also quite laughable - Marky Mark's usual stellar performance was replaced by what I can only deem to be a parody of lead characters in disaster films. Worth it if you want to laze away a Sunday afternoon.

Hearts in Atlantis

Actually really liked this film. There were bits that could have been explained a little more, but no doubt the book will fill in those gaps. Stand out performances by both Anton Yelchin and Anthony Hopkins. Highly recommend this if you've not seen it yet.

The Fourth Kind

I fell asleep halfway through this. I need to watch it again, because I think I may have missed the most interesting bits!

The Ninth Gate

This movie was a little longer than it needed to be, but the premise was good. Not sure about the ending, though.


Not the best film ever produced, but not bad. It definitely had me cringing and biting my nails in anticipation!


What a great film! There was so much potential for it to fall in on itself, given that it dealt with time travel and all of the paradoxes that might pop up regarding that. But Looper managed to very craftily weave everything together in a coherent "loop" of events that left me feeling very satisfied indeed!

Twelve Monkeys (12 Monkeys)

I need some time to process this film. Perhaps even a second watch.

Snow White and the Huntsman

This film was terrible. Not even Chris Hemsworth's man pecs could save it.

The Crow
The Crow(1994)

I can't believe it took me this long to get around to watching it, but The Crow was well worth the wait. I loved how dark it was, and the themes it explored. I can see why it's a cult classic. It was also really chilling to see Brandon Lee in his final performance, uttering his final few lines for the sake of this film. What a brilliant actor he was.


What a great movie! Not too sappy, not too over the top. Just the right mix of heartache, love, and comedy.

The Hunger Games

Nowhere near as good as the book. I am thankful that I did read the book first, because I feel like this adaptation was developed with fans of the book in mind. Had I seen the film without any prior knowledge, I feel like I would have missed out on a lot. As it was, my brain was already filling in the gaps this movie produced.

The camera work was really shaky, and within the first five minutes I wanted to switch the film off. It was making me feel nauseous. But the stark contrast of the glitz and glamour of Effie Trinket against the muted tones of District 12 gave me something to hang on to.

Although a very weak plot device in the book, I was a little disappointed they didn't play up the romance between Katniss and Peeta in the film in the same way that it played out in the book. I think the movie tried to fill in the plot holes that the book left behind, but in doing so it kind of unravelled the central force that drove the narrative in the book. They would have done far better to let that one unfold the way it did in the books.

There was one thing that had been cut out of the film adaptation that I think would have given the film more feeling. Haymitch. He has an interesting back story, and although they don't get into it quite so much in the first book, there's enough there to show some semblance of character development, and to get you to feel for him and like him a whole lot. In the film, he's really only there for one purpose.

The acting was superb, though. The main cast were all relative newcomers, supported by some very familiar faces. But I think the newbies did a stellar job. Rue's death scene in particular stands out in my mind. Absolutely bawled my eyes out. I also think Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson did a fantastic job of bringing Katniss and Peeta to life, and making them sympathetic and believable characters. When they felt terror, I felt terror. When they felt shock, my chest tightened and I couldn't breathe. When they felt comfort in one another's arms, I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. They did the best job they could with the material given - and what a job they made of it!

If you haven't read the books as yet, I highly recommend that you do. Especially if you're debating on whether or not to see this film. Read the books, arm yourself with the finer workings of the story, then see the film. I think you'll be less confused that way.

The Cabin in the Woods

AMAZEBALLS. A more coherent review after I have seen this for the second time.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

Not a bad film, but not a great film either. It was good for passing the time, but the only time I actually felt any real connection was when Craig was explaining to the doctor why he should be submitted to the mental health clinic. After that, it went a little downhill.

The 'Burbs
The 'Burbs(1989)

Man, they sure don't make dark comedies like they used to, huh? This film is great. It's your typical cheesy 80's flick with a good mix of dark humour and paper bag acting. Plus, y'know, Tom Hanks. Can't go wrong with a bit o' Tom Hanks.


This is one of the best zombie/found footage movies I have seen as yet. Very realistic, very suspensful, and a good number of terror-inducing seens. I highly recommend this to anyone who likes zombie movies and hasn't as yet seen it.

Heavenly Creatures

Heavenly Creatures is the story of two young girls - Juliet and Pauline - who are social outcasts and frustratingly misunderstood by their families. Their love of opera, stories, fine arts, and keen imagination draws them together. Where their families see insolence and madness, they see kinship. Their bond is so tight that it borders on obsessive; the thought of being without one another seemingly destroys them at their core. So they devise a plan that will keep them together forever. Or so they think.

I can't even put into words just how much I enjoyed this film. Both Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey were absolutely fantastic in their respective roles. They brought the characters to life with so much passion and emotion - their dreams became my dreams, their sadness became my sadness, their bond reached through my television screen and would not relinquish its hold of me until the film's end.

From a technical point of view, everything about this film was fantastic - the editing, the soundtrack, the artistic direction. Fantastic use of symbology and metaphor.

Bram Stoker's Dracula

This has got to be one of the best vampire movies I have ever seen. Gary Oldman does an amazing job (he deserved to win an Oscar for this role, to be honest - shame on the Academy for denying him!) as Dracula. Equal parts terrifying and sexy. The film really rode to success on Oldman's performance, as both Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves were horribly cardboard beside his enigmatic and passionate performance. I love this film so much I nearly cried when I found a copy of it on BluRay.


Watchmen would be more aptly titled "Watch My Bright Blue Glowing Penis For 3 Hours". What was this film about again?

The Five-Year Engagement

I laughed until I cried, and at some points I actually cried. A really good mix of humour and serious moments. One of the better comedies I have seen recently. :) :)

Dark Shadows
Dark Shadows(2012)

Ever wondered what it would be like to win the affections of a witch? Well, unfortunately for Barnabas Collins, this is exactly what he has achieved. When he is unable to return her affections, Angelique Bouchard kills his one true love and curses Barnabas to an eternity of damnation. Romantic, right?

Fast forward to 1972 - two hundred years after Barnabas had been encased in his eternal tomb - when he is accidentally dug up. Now Barnabas has to come to terms with his strange surroundings and try to rebuild his family name, which Angelique has successfullly destroyed over the centuries.

Dark Shadows is blatantly a Tim Burton film. If the cast didn't give it away (Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, even a cameo by Christopher Lee), then the set and costume design would have. Despite the 70's generally being considered a time of loud patterns and bright colours, Burton somehow manages to make the garb of that era seem gothicesque. The set design is exquisite. Absolutely beautiful! Probably one of my favourite things about the film.

The only let down for this film was the script. There were too many plots going on, and none of them given enough importance. On the one hand you have Barnabas trying to resurrect his family name, dredging up the old conflict between he and Angelique. On the other hand, you have the somewhat-of-a-mystery regarding the Collins' children's other parents - David's mother drowned, but what happened to Carolyn's? There's also the blossoming love story between Barnabas and what is obviously the reincarnation of Josette - Victoria Winters - and her backstory. Hard to know which was the central plot, given that any of those could have driven the film. But there was enough subtle wit and outright hilarity that made you forget you even cared what happened.

Johnny Depp is fantastic in his role as Barnabas Collins. It's not an Oscar-worthy performance by any stretch of the imagination, but he is so adept at bringing a character to life, and it's very rare to find an actor with such chameleon-like qualities.

Although I am glad I managed to catch this one in the cinema, it's definitely not something I would advise you to rush out and see. I think you'd get just as much enjoyment out of it if you waited for the DVD and watched it in the comfort of your own home. :)

Iron Man 2
Iron Man 2(2010)

Did not like this one as much as the first Iron Man film. I felt like there was no cohesive plot - the majority of the film was spent on Stark's ego spinning out of control, and a whole slew of kick-ass fight scenes, but I never quite figured out who was supposed to be the bad guy (Hammer? Vanko?) and what their true motivation was, or why I should give a damn. Also, Pepper was really freakin' annoying.

This film was only good for one thing - bridging the gap between the first Iron Man film and Avengers. The introduction of Black Widow and Nick Fury's Avengers initiative spiced the film up a little more, but only with the promise of another kick-ass movie. Plus, it was great to see Agent Coulson as always.


I had put off watching this film for a while because I'd heard it being canned over and over again. Okay, it's not the world's greatest film. But I liked the premise, and the writing wasn't bad. I feel like if this film was fortunate enough to have a bigger budget, critics might be praising it a little more. Still, the lack of budget is what added to the gritty undertones (definitely very comic-book like in terms of its depths, rather than sterile like a lot of sci-fi films can be), and I felt the cast did an excellent job with the material given to them.

This Means War

Despite what critics are saying, I actually liked this film. It's chick flick meets action spy games with a bit of light hearted comedy thrown in. It was good for passing the time and certainly kept me entertained.

The Grey
The Grey(2012)

I only ever heard rave reviews about this film, which was enough to keep me from wanting to watch it. I always find my expectations are much higher when it comes to films that are so highly praised, only for them to be completely annihilated by disappointment. Thankfully, that was not the case with this film. It is as great as everyone is saying it is, and it certainly deserves the praise.

This isn't just your typical survival type of film, it goes much deeper than that. Themes of religion and philosophy are quite strong within the narrative, and for certain characters they are the driving force behind their desire to survive. This provides for some good character development during the quiet bits when the wolves aren't raining down on the camp.

Those wolves... my gosh. This film is a thriller, yes. I am also tempted to lump it in the horror category too. Sometimes the scariest things are the things you cannot see. Hearing those wolves howling, mourning the loss of one of their pack, sometimes appearing to laugh at the men's attempt to pick them off - that stuff was glorious. They very much had personalities, which made them ever more terrifying. They were calculating and brutal, and often much smarter than their prey.

This film was well written, and the suspense was fantastic. I felt as though I was right there with them, trying to survive in the dark and cold against a relentless predator. Fantastic work!


I wish I had paid more attention to the trailer for this film, because then I would have realised this was one of those "handheld camera" jobs before I invested my time in it. Just for the record? Can't stand those. Especially when they're done so sloppily. This film wasn't one fluid moment caught on camera à la Cloverfield. This was a series of events; often from secondary characters perspectives where, look at that, there happened to be a camera! I think this format probably wasn't the best for a narrative like this.

Having said that, however, I do like the spin they put on the teenage-boy-gets-superpower schtick. It was funny and realistic, and I'm glad they didn't do the whole Let's Fight Crime cliché that a lot of these types of films are doing. These were just a typical bunch of boys struggling with their own issues who happen to come into some superpowers.

I would have liked a bit more insight into how the main character, Andrew, developed his power. He's obviously much stronger than the other two boys, but why? I also wouldn't have minded a little bit more time spent developing his character. The writers seem to use typical clichés like Social Outcast and Physically Abused by Parent in order to drive his development along, but sometimes that just doesn't cut it.

This film doesn't actually have a plot. There's no starting, middle, or ending. It's a bunch of characters thrown into an unlikely scenario, and we get to watch how it all plays out. If you're not interested in films like that - especially ones that are shot in the amateur documentary kind of way that this one was - stay away from it. If you don't mind a story that is character driven, as this one was, then give it a go. Whilst there was a lot that could be improved, this film was still entertaining.


I'm not usually a fan of blow-'em-up action films. They're usually just an excuse to blow the shit out of everything in sight, and often have little-to-no plot development or character development. This film wasn't brilliant by any stretch of the imagination, but I found myself surprised by just how much I enjoyed it. It was funny and incredibly cheesy, and it totally made fun of itself.

Funny thing was, this film felt strangely familiar. If you squinted your eyes just enough, the alien battleships looked a little bit like Decepticons (in fact, I even heard a bunch of Transformer noises in there whilst the battleships where whirring and rotating around). I wonder where they got the inspiration for the battleships from? ;)

Given that this was a film based on a two-person board game with no real strategy or game play, I'd have to say that they pulled it off. This film could have been a complete disaster, but they came up with a reasonably credible plot, some good narrative tension, and of course a whole bunch of kick-ass explosions and ass-whoopings. :)

The Innkeepers

I think I was expecting a little more from this movie than was delivered. It was really poorly written, which let it down. The suspense, the gore, and the scares were very well executed, but what should have driven these awesome thrills home (the plot) was sadly lacking in any coherency and very badly paced.

Marvel's The Avengers

This is hands down the best movie I have seen so far this year. Everything else has paled in comparison. Also, anyone planning on releasing a movie this year... uh, well, good luck with it? I'm sure your box office ratings will, uh, suffice. Heh.

The Bleeding House

I had nothing better to do with my Tuesday afternoon, so I figured I would sit down and give this movie a bit of a whirl. Within a couple of seconds I knew this would be a terrible and cheesy attempt at horror. Whilst not necessarily a bad film as a whole, the writing leaves much to be desired. The plot pacing is kind of sucky, there's little to no character development, and the only character that seemed truly alive was the Southern Gentleman (he was actually quite perfect, given how sinster he truly was). Not high on my list of recommendations.

The Caller
The Caller(2011)

I wasn't expecting too much from this film, to be quite honest. I hadn't heard of it until I went looking online for recent horror/thriller films. But I stumbled across it and figured I would give it a go as I enjoy both Stephen Moyer and Rachelle Lefevre.

Firstly, the time paradox-thing was an interesting twist. I'd assumed this film was one of those typical Stalker Calls Victim types, but this was a much more interesting idea (especially since they seemed adamant about having a stalker as a sub plot anyway - *yawn*). The one downfall, I felt, was the lack of (or perhaps poor attempt at) character development regarding Rose. I mean, she's a lonely woman whose boyfriend has treated her poorly, but it didn't take much for Mary to convince her to kill him (without actually even suggesting she kill him) and for Rose to become a raging psychopath. Would have been nice if the writers had spent more time getting to that point.

Really enjoyed the creepy stuff, like Rose cutting her own finger off and leaving it in the garden for Mary, or burning her in "real time" etc. Was also thoroughly uncomfortable with one of the last few scenes (I don't want to spoil it, so I'll be vague) where Mary is in the bathroom screaming on the phone. That was nightmare inducing.

All in all this film was entertaining, and it was interesting enough to keep me watching all the way until the end. Sure, there were loopholes and some poor writing choices, but it wasn't a bad way to spend a Monday night.

The Entitled
The Entitled(2011)

Not a bad film. There was enough suspense to keep me hooked right up until the end. The plot is a little cliché and unoriginal, but entertaining nonetheless. Definitely liked the twist at the end.

The Crazies
The Crazies(2010)

I haven't seen the original, so I can't really compare and contrast, but whatever the differences may have been, I enjoyed this version of The Crazies. In the beginning it started out somewhat similar to a Stephen King novel - small town is plagued by a military virus, quarantined, and massacred to prevent further outspread. All the makings of a King thriller. Not to mention the fact that King is notorious for throwing his characters into terrible predicaments without any clear indication that he knows where the story is going. That is exactly what this film felt like. There was no clear explanation of the virus, what it was, how it was infecting people etc. There wasn't much of a game plan besides get the fuck out of Dodge (I guess you can't really expect more than that in a film of this calibre). If you can switch your brain off and just go along with it, this film is pretty darn enjoyable. There are a couple of really gruesome scenes that are well worth it.


A pretty cool sprucing up of the over-done Vampire Domination conflict. Set in a post-apocalyptic world, Daybreakers explores what would happen to a world full of vampires when their one food source is on the brink of extinction.

The casting was good, the plot was good, and there was sufficient gore and scares smattered throughout. This was definitely a fun movie to watch - especially for the last few scenes, where the blood and excitement just keeps on comin'. Would recommend!

The Mist
The Mist(2007)

The problem with a lot of Stephen King movies is that they're done in an incredibly cheesy and unfulfilling way. I watched this film because I pretty much watch/read anything that has King's mark on it, and I am happy to say that I was not disappointed with this one.

Yes, there's your typical supernatural element (oh my gosh, a giant man-eating mist! weird aliens & parasites! etc). Yes, there's also your typical characters-stuck-in-one-location-together situation (let's divide up and see who can outsmart the other!). And yes, there's just enough gore and violence to make you squirm uncomfortably in your seat. What got me, however, was the ending. That pretty much sealed the deal for this film. It made me sit up, it made me shake my head in amazement, and it made me respect the fact that neither the writer nor the director were scared to go there.

Well worth watching. Especially for the ending.

The Woman in Black

The trailer for this film totally sucked me right in. There were a few good scares in it - enough to creep me out and keep me wanting more. However, the reality of the film was much more disappointing. It did keep me on the edge of my seat in some parts, but a lot of the scare tactics gave me a good giggle as opposed to anything else. I also found my mind wandering because the plot took too long to unfold/I wasn't really invested in what was going on. Perhaps this is due to the expectations of a brain that has been brought up on Hollywood horror - always expecting something to jump out at you, little plot to scares ratio etc. Whilst I appreciate what the slow unravelling of a good plot can do in terms of thrills and suspense, I just wasn't feeling it with this film.

Also, I had a real issue with believing Radcliffe in his role as a loving father. Not the "loving" bit, but the "father" bit. He still looks like an adolescent. Especially when pitted against the likes of Ciarán Hinds in any particular scene.

Good for a slight thrill and a bit of a giggle.


This is one of the worst films I have had the displeasure of being subjected to. I could care less about any of the characters, the acting was terrible, and Ellen Page was incredibly irritating.

Much too violent for my liking - very similar to Kick Ass in that sense. Stabbing and beating people to death with blunt objects is very shocking in comparison to hand-to-hand combat and guns. I get that. I just felt it could have been used a little more sparingly.

Also, the film has a completely unnecessary woman-on-man rape scene that did nothing but induce nausea, especially when my movie companions kept commenting on how hot Ellen Page looked during that scene, but then protested quite vehemently during the man-on-woman rape scene involving Liv Tyler. The fact that James Gunn tried to make light of the woman-on-man rape is deplorable. They are both just as equally vile and sickening!

Steer clear of this one. Unless, of course, you want to be left with a bad taste in your mouth.

Fright Night
Fright Night(2011)

I wasn't quite sure what to expect from this film. I mean, Colin Farrell as a vampire? That was enough to make me put this film on my list of Things to Watch When You've Got Nothing Better to Do. Funnily enough, though, it's Colin Farrell's performance that made me really enjoy the film.

Fright Night doesn't take itself seriously in the slightest. There's a wonderful balance of horror, suspense, and humour - enough that you can relax and stop trying to accuse the film of taking a serious stab at the vampire genre. It's campy. But it's fantastic. David Tennant at Peter Vincent was a wonderful surprise. He looks great in that gothic get-up, and he's just the kind of humour this film needed an infusion of.

Lacking in any knock-out performances, Fright Night is the kind of film that you and your mates gather 'round to watch on a quiet Saturday night whilst enjoying a couple of beers. No surprises, no twists, not ridiculous plot line. Just good ol' fashioned campy vampires and young teen protagonists who kick-ass!

A Dangerous Method

Keira Knightley was terrible in this. I didn't find her performance believable in the silghtest. It just felt really over-the-top. Also, why did her character have an accent and neither Freud nor Jung an accent?

Liked the dialogue in this film, liked the costumes, the set design, and generally the way it was written. What a shame Keira's performance pretty much ruined it otherwise.

The Artist
The Artist(2011)

I'm finding it hard to write a review about this movie because I can't find the words to express just how much I liked it. Well written, great design & costumes, loved the cinematography, fantastic use of soundtrack, and the acting? Superb. Jean Dujardin totally stole my heart. There was something so horribly arrogant about George Valentin, but Dujardin managed to make him an endearing and likeable character in a way that only Gene Kelly could have managed. I was glued to the screen the entire way through the film. I would highly recommend this to anyone who has an affinity for films and can appreciate them as an art form. Well worth watching!


Quick thoughts: confusing, dialogue is TERRIBLE (what is with everything being repeated? why is everything repeated? <--- kind of example of how terrible the dialogue is), and even Kilmer's acting couldn't carry this one through to the end.

Good Will Hunting

This film depressed the hell out of me. And not because of the content, or the acting, or the production. It depressed the hell out of me because it made me mourn for the days when people would actually spend time nurturing a script until it had fully matured. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, please. Teach the industry a thing or two about good writing. It seems to have been completely lost.

How d'ya like them apples?


I put off watching this one for a while because of all of the hype. I am less inclined to see a film when there is so much hype because I find that my expectations are that much higher. I was also quite put-off by the trailer, which made the film look really clumsy and cheesy. Now, don't get me wrong, the film still has its clumsy and cheesy moments. However, I found myself quite liking the production overall.

The storyline was weak at best - character developments took the same amount of time it would take to nuke a TV dinner, which was a shame because the characters (namely Loki) might have been more enjoyable had they been given a chance to fully materialise.

The CGI effects were breathtaking and not too overdone (though that rainbow bridge was strangely reminiscent of the metallic silver hollogram contact paper I used to cover my workbooks in primary school), and most of the casting was quite good.

Couldn't get over the fact that Chris Hemsworth appeared to have had all of his facial hair knitted onto his face (those eyebrows!), and was also pretty annoyed by the lame attempt at romance between Hemsworth and Natalie Portman. There was no build up, no on-screen chemistry - nothing. Just because a particular formula might work for other superhero films doesn't mean it needs to be used every time.

Also, next time you're making a film about an all powerful Norse God, try to actually build his presence rather than go the "I'm a great big stubborn twat" route, because that doesn't make me fear him or covet his 'strength'. It just makes me want to take his hammer to that sacred spot between his legs. Ta.

Green Lantern

The script was horrible, the CGI effects were in full-force and were reminiscent of Star Wars: Clone Wars. The budget could have been put to much better use, in my opinion. Also, much as I adore Ryan Reynolds, he just doesn't have what it takes to pull off a superhero.

The Incredible Hulk

Not a great storyline, but enjoyable watch nonetheless. Edward Norton is very fun to look at. Liv Tyler's whispery voice was acceptable as an elf in Lord of the Rings, not so much in this film where I had to struggle to catch every word. Tim Roth was good though I wish his character development had been a little bit more fleshed out, likewise with William Hurt's (I know, I know - read the comic book, right?). "Hulk mad, Hulk smash!" I will always love that line. And one of my new favourite lines is now: "You're making me... hungry. You don't want to see me when I'm hungry!" Classic!

Horrible Bosses

A few laugh-out-loud scenes, but Horrible Bosses was not quite as funny as it could have been. It relies too heavily on crude humour, which lets the film down. Kevin Spacey, however, was absolutely brilliant. Wanted to punch him in the face so much. Didn't find Jennifer Aniston's sub-plot funny at all. Had the gender roles been reversed and it was a male boss sexually harassing his female employee to the extent that Aniston's character was, the filmmakers wouldn't have been able to get away with it. Why is it perfectly fine to make fun of woman-on-man sexual harassment? Labelling Anniston's character a "man-eater" is inaccurate. She's the kind of person who should be registered as a sex offender.

Kill the Irishman

Danny Greene (Ray Stevenson) can't seem to get a break. His life is plagued with death and misfortune, and yet he is one of the luckiest men alive. It's hard not to see why he was dubbed The Man the Mafia Could Not Kill.

Stevenson's performance as Danny Greene is nothing short of brilliant - a force to be reckoned with. Couple that with a sharp tongue and some quick wit and you've got yourself an entertaining film. Definitely recommend this if you're interested in films about the mafia, and sass-talking Irishmen.

Déjà Vu
Déjà Vu(2006)

This is the first Denzel Washington film I have ever seen and NOT liked. The plot was rather tenuous, and asked audiences to be that much more forgiving of plot holes and inconsistencies. Not to mention that romance was the driving force behind finding and rescuing the victim (as opposed to, y'know, doing your job and letting that be your motivation), which was rather disheartening. Still, not an altogether bad film, but I wouldn't recommend that you seek it out if you're wanting an action-thriller to pass an evening in front of the TV.


Sara Moore (Kathryn Harris) is a young FBI trainee who is sent to a remote island for further training in the art of profiling serial killers. With her teammates, J.D (Christian Slater), Bobby (Eion Bailey), Lucas (Jonny Lee Miller), Rafe (Will Kemp), Vince (Cliftion Collins), Nicole (Patricia Velazquez), and the mysterious tag-along, Gabe (L. L. Cool J), she must prove that she has what it takes to be a productive member of the FBI. One by one, her team mates are slowly killed off, and it's up to the remaining few to figure out who is doing the killing, and what method they're using to determine the next victim.

The cast was reminiscent of an early 90's revival, with brief appearances from Christian Slater and Val Kilmer (who plays Harris, the team instructor), and L. L. Cool J. I expected this film to be cheesy and to fall flat on its face, but was pleasantly surprised by just how entertaining it was. It kept me guessing right up until the very end. Not a "blockbuster" by any standard, but good enough to pass the time with.


I started off laughing at this film, but very quickly became disenchanted by how desperate some of the jokes were. Will Forte is not as funny as he thinks he is.

The Ides of March

Really well written, incredibly well executed - I can find little to dislike about The Ides of March. It provides a good insight into just how easily a persona can be concocted for public officials, and just how easily that persona can be unravelled.

The Island of Dr. Moreau

Douglas (David Thewlis) has the misfortune of his boat capsizing, and being rescued by Montgomery (Val Kilmer) and brought to a strange island known as the Island of Dr Moreau. Strange things are afoot on the island, and Douglas' curious nature cannot be contained. A dark beauty named Aissa (Fairuza Balk), a giant, white, soft-spoken psychopath known as Moreau (Marlon Brando), and a variety of half-man/half-creature mutations running around are enough to inform the viewer that they're not in Kansas anymore.

Lacking in substantial character development, or a coherent plot, it's easy to understand why The Island of Dr Moreau received - and continues to receive - such harsh criticism. I got the vague impression that there was a grand statement about religion and human nature buried under the perpetual surface ripples. However, it never manifested itself completely. Either way, I still found myself enjoying this film because of how utterly insane it was. Given a little more attention, and a little more refinement, the script could have been so, so, SO much better.

The Missing
The Missing(2003)

Maggie (Cate Blanchett) is a headstrong and entirely capable woman, raising her two daughters on her own, and tending to the sick community around her. Her life is not grand, but she is thankful for what she has and she makes do. One day a strange man by the name of Samuel (Tommy Lee Jones) arrives at Maggie's ranch seeking shelter. This man is Maggie's estranged father who had left her as a child to live the Indian way. Wanting nothing to do with him, she sends him on his way. And that would have been the end of that had it not been for the fact that Maggie's eldest daughter was captured by a group of Apache Indians, and Maggie has no one else to turn to but her father for assistance. Together, the two of them set out to find the girl and end up finding each other along the way.

Not an altogether bad film, "The Missing" kept me reasonably entertained for the first hour or so. Cate Blanchette is amazing in pretty much everything she does, and Tommy Lee Jones has always been a pleasure to watch in action. Unfortunately, not even their brilliant performances could keep my attention glued to the screen for two hours. I didn't realise the film would be that long, and there was not enough character substance for me to want to invest in Samuel and Maggie for that long. The film could have been edited down to an hour and a half and still retained its heart. However, it was still enjoyable, and I would definitely watch it again.

George and the Dragon (Dragon Sword)

Definitely was not expecting to like this film as much as I did. It's cheesy and it has its flaws, but it's quirky and fun - something the whole family can enjoy. Particularly liked the end-credits with the hilarious blooper reel.

Fake Identity

Nicholas Pinter (Val Kilmer) is a doctor working in Bulgaria for the Doctors Beyond Borders services. He meets the beautiful Katherine (Izabella Miko) outside of a restaurant on the way to help a friend of his, and his whole world changes. Mistaken for a man named John Charter, Pinter must now uncover the truth in order to save not just himself, but also Katherine.

An average film, but certainly not a bad one. There was enough of a plot there to hold my interest, and just enough cheese to keep me laughing. Probably one of my least favourite Kilmerfilms, though. Where Kilmer generally delivers a knock-out performance, he instead looks as though he is going through the motions (who can blame him). One of my favourite scenes - thought it was brilliantly done - was during Pinter's escape from his captives in the forest. He tries unsuccessfully to knock one of them out with a large rock. The look of surprise and confusion on his face when he realises he hasn't quite succeeded is pure gold. Thanks for keeping it entertaining, Kilmer! :)

Dark City
Dark City(1998)

Fantastic! :) I've loved this film from the very first time I saw it. Just recently watched it again and I still love it just as much. Well worth it for the visuals, the themes, and especially for Richard O'Brien's portrayal as Mr. Hand.

Run for the Money

Thomas Taylor (Christian Slater) is a thief recently released from jail. He's trying to start his life over again with his girlfriend and daughter by pulling one more job to get them enough cash to live off. Except that once they've pulled off the job, they realise they now have nearly $2million in marked bills. To make matters worse, they have now entangled themselves in a money-laundering scheme set up by corrupt FBI agent Mark Cornell (Val Kilmer). In order to clear himself of Cornell's blackmail, and to keep his daughter safe, Taylor has to pull off one more job. The results of which are sadly predictable and clichéd.

This film was so low-budget it was laughable, but that is part of what made me enjoy it. The chase scenes in the car were hilarious, as was how cheesy the majority of this film was in general. "Run for the Money" (or "Hard Cash") doesn't take itself seriously in the slightest. The film was definitely carried by some of the more noteable actors - Christian Slater, Val Kilmer, Daryl Hannah, and Verne Troyer - but was highly enjoyable nonetheless.

Red Planet
Red Planet(2000)

This was the summary I wrote on my notepad after watching "Red Planet". I think it's a very fitting summary of the film: Kate Bowman (Carrie-Anne Moss) and Robby Gallagher (Val Kilmer) go up into space to see whether or not the algae they have left on Mars has cultivated & produced oxygen. Things go awry, people die, Kilmer looks like Eminem with his bleach-blonde buzz cut.

The film had a great deal of suspense, even though the plot felt a little half-assed and lacking in originality. Still, it was highly entertaining - a lot of cool one-liners. I was particularly impressed by one of the early scenes in which the crew are on Mars, running out of air, because their stress physiologically affected me. Very well acted.

It was also cool to see Kilmer and Terrence Stamp (of Kilmer's other film: The Real McCoy) team up again. A lot of Kilmer's films become a "spot his previous co-stars" type of game - General Zod being one of the more exciting previous co-stars.

Overall I actually enjoyed this film. Would probably watch it again.

Joe the King
Joe the King(1999)

Joe the King is a heartbreaking tale about a young boy, Joe Henry, who is forced to work illegally to help support his alcoholic father's gambling habits. Joe is picked on in school because his father works as the janitor. He is also picked on by a lot of the adults in his life (honestly, every adult in the film was utterly horrible - with the possible exception of Ethan Hawke's character) because of his father's habit of borrowing money and never returning it.

Things have become so dire that Joe often has to source his food from stolen candy boxes or from left-overs in the sink at work. Things are getting worse and worse, and something has to give. The turning point in this film centres around Joe breaking into his place of work and stealing a wad of cash. He spends most of it on records for his mother (who is an avid record collector, but whose collection was obliterated by her drunken husband) and stashes the rest of it. A gash in his leg is what gives him away, and his mother opts to send him to a juvenile detention centre as she has no time to watch after him and make sure that he does the right thing.

Noah Fleiss was fantastic as Joe. The majority of the film centres around Joe's relationship with his father, Bob Henry, and one of the more emotional scenes between the two occurs toward the end of the film just before Joe is taken to the detention centre. Kilmer gave a great performance as an alcoholic - he was a pathetic tiny man trying so hard to be big and tough. It was equal amounts of amusing and saddening. Some of the best scenes in this film involved both Fleiss and Kilmer - defnitely worth a watch for their performances if nothing else.

At First Sight

I have mixed feelings about this film. On the one hand I really liked it - it explored the deeper themes of perception, meaning, and symbolism that are associated with sight. On the other hand, however, it delivered a very mixed message.

Amy (Mira Sorvino) meets Virgil (Val Kilmer) at a holiday resort and falls in love with him. The reason she takes to him so quickly is because he is blind - he sees what is beneath the surface, and reminds Amy of the little things in life that people often either take for granted or miss completely. He re-awakens her, in a way. However, the first chance she has, she's suggesting that Virgil get corrective surgery on his eyes to restore his sight. This is where it gets tricky.

One of the things Amy loved so much about Virgil was his unique perception, completely unhindered by sight, symbolism, and constructed meaning. Yet the first thing she wanted to change about him was everything she had come to love - something she saw as a 'problem'. This didn't sit right with me in the slightest. I can't put this any better than Virgil himself did: "That's the thing, there is no damn problem!". And this is where the film sold me (or rather, where Virgil sold me).

This reminded me of something I once read in one of my Deafness & Communication lectures: There is no ability or disability. Some people are born with sight/hearing, and some people aren't. Just like some people are born blonde or with brown hair. It's just a variation of the human condition. And that is basically what this film is about - learning to accept that people are who they are, and that is what makes them unique.

I also felt there was absolutely zero on-screen chemistry between Kilmer and Sorvino - the sex scene was completely awkward, as was the scene where she demonstrates her many facial expressions to him (what should have been an endearing scene was instead rendered obnoxious and stupid). I didn't truly believe in Amy and Virgil, and found it hard to feel anything but utter contempt for Amy through the second act of the film. I didn't want to fight for either of them, and honestly would have cared less if Virgil had never met up with Amy again.

This film had a lot of potential, but I think what saved it for me was the thematic exploration of sight and what it meant to both Amy and Virgil.

The Saint
The Saint(1997)

This movie disappointed me because it had so much potential, and it fell extraordinarily short of it. Kilmer and Shue do what they can to keep this movie afloat, but despite their best efforts, the film still comes off as a spoof of itself. The only redeeming thing about this film was seeing Kilmer play one of his character's many personas, Thomas Moore. And it wasn't for the South African accent (which was hilarious, by the way), but because it was fun to watch Kilmer be romantic and gorgeous. Even so, I'm not in much of a hurry to see this one again.

The Ghost and the Darkness

John Henry Patterson (Val Kilmer) is a young engineer who takes a bridge construction job in Africa. Having been in love with Africa for as long as he can remember, Patterson accepts this job with vigour. The only problem is that, once there, Patterson and his men are under time constrictions and he's having trouble motivating his men to work on the bridge. Is it the local union? Is it a revolt against The Man? No. It's two gigantic man-eating Lions commonly refered to "The Ghost" and "The Darkness" that are spooking the men away from their work. It's now up to Patterson to clean up this mess in order to get the construction underway in time to meet the deadline.

I'm not opposed to Michael Douglas as an actor by any means. In fact, one of my favourite films is "The Game". However, I felt that his character (not necessarily his performance) detracted from what was otherwise a fairly decent film. His character could have been completely cut from the film and it still would have worked just fine (in fact, probably better).

One of my favourite scenes in the film was the dream sequence that Patterson has of his wife and newborn son being mauled by one of the Lions. Disturbing, I know. But surprisingly it made me laugh out loud, and had this been a horror movie I think it would have made for a perfect ending.


Robert De Niro and Al Pacino, supported by Val Kilmer - what the hell could go wrong with a film like that? Great action sequences, great suspense, stellar performances, "Heat" proves to be a highly entertaining film.

True Romance
True Romance(1993)

I love pretty much anything that Quentin Tarantino has a hand in. Especially this movie. The man just knows how to tell a story, what can I say?

Blind Horizon

A man wakes up in a hospital with no memory of who he is, where he is from, or what he is doing in a small town in the New Mexico desert. A series of flashbacks leads him to believe that the President's life might be in danger, but he can't explain how or why he knows this information.

Blind Horizon was a well executed conspiracy-thriller with great performances by Val Kilmer, Neve Campbell, and Sam Shepard. Not an overly-convoluted plot by any means, but still twisted enough to keep you second-guessing yourself. Very well edited, the narrative held strong until the very end - there was no rush to get ahead of itself, no need to hold the audiences hand the whole way through. It just unfolded quite naturally with the help of a good cast.

Well worth watching if you want to kill some time. Also, as usual, Kilmer looks great in a cowboy hat.


The Immortals couldn't even hold my interest for the first half an hour of the film. There was not enough plot to keep me engaged, none of the characters were likeable, and not even the visuals could save this shipwreck (though I suspect the overuse of CGI and selective saturation was supposed to do just that, but I hate it when directors use gimicks like that because they can't establish a solid plot). Don't waste your time on this one. I got smart and stopped watching after 35 minutes.

The Future
The Future(2011)

On the one hand I felt that this film was incredibly pretentious and unrelateable. But on the other hand, there was an element to it that made it appealing. At first I thought the idea was to comment on the fact that people in relationships often hide from one another through their jobs, the Internet, and just generally disconnecting themselves from life and the world around them. But as the events unfold within the film, it seems that Sophie and Jason's attempts at getting in touch with themselves, one another, and reconnecting with the world just fall short of anything substantial. So what is the point? And to make matters worse, in the midst of all of this self-indulgent existentialism, a cat is forgotten and consequently put to sleep. You can be sure I hugged both of my cats after finishing this film. Poor Paw-Paw.


Jackson Pollock is a young artist struggling to make a name for himself, who finds his biggest supporter in an artist named Lee Krasner. Together they launch his career and send him hurling into fame.

This film is nothing short of brilliant. Pollock's work is breathtaking, and Ed Harris's portrayal of Pollock is awe-inspiring. Where most films would have used Pollock's alcoholism to drive the narrative, Harris has instead used the creative process to delve further into the very troubled man behind the artwork; a technique that works incredibly well and keeps the story from being too clichéd.

However, for me, the movie was all about Marcia Gay Harden's portrayal of Lee Krasner. Krasner's devotion to Pollock is astounding. She stands by him through his tantrums, breakdowns, and infidenlities because she believes heart-and-soul in his artistic ability and potential. No matter what he does to her, or to their friends and family, she stands by him. And the brilliant thing about her is that she is no victim. She is Pollock's beacon - the light which steers him away from an impending crash. This is why the end scene works so well, because you just know that he's realising how futile his life is without her.

Probably the most powerful in the whole film, the scene leading up to the car accident that claimed Pollock's life was haunting and actually sucked me right into his world. Even though I knew there couldn't be anything other than a car crash at the end of that road, it still had me in its clutches right up until the very end.

If you haven't seen this film, please do. You won't be disappointed.

Masked and Anonymous

What a terrible waste of almost two hours. The premise of the film is suffocated by the abundance of social, political, and philosophical commentary with no apparent point or conclusion. It is almost as if this film was made purely to bludgeon the audience with observations and opinions. What a shame, because the plot that should have driven Bob Dylan's bus would have actually made for a good story if it had been given a chance.


If you've ever wanted to know what a Samurai Warrior meets Western Gunslinger (except, y'know, minus the guns) inside a gothic novel or comic book looks like, this is probably the film for you. Guy Moshe throws everything into the mix in the 2010 action-adventure "Bunraku". What comes out as a result is a distractingly vibrant and often nausea-inducing film of revenge and retribution. The plot offers nothing new or innovative, and despite there being a fabulous cast (Ron Pearlman, Woody Harrelson, Kevin McKidd, Josh Hartnett, Gackt, and Demi Moore) none of the characters come to life. The best thing about this film is the coreographed fighting scenes - very well done, very believable and engaging. I wouldn't advise you to steer clear of this film, as it IS highly entertaining. Just don't expect too much from it and you won't be disappointed.


This movie was nowhere near as funny as I remember it being when I was a kid. Parts of it were downright insulting. However, I have to say that I do love seeing Dan Akroyd and and Jane Curtin on-screen together.

The Thin Red Line

I hated every single second of this movie, and believe me when I say that those were a truckload of seconds.


This film is absolutely hilarious. It is littered with such idiocy and brilliant one-liners, it's hard not to like. Ben Stiller's brand of comedy tends to get old pretty fast, but I can't seem to get enough of Zoolander. Will Ferrell was fantastic in this as well, as were Owen Wilson and Jerry Stiller. This movie is also smattered with some brilliant cameos - well worth it if you want to laugh at something completely mindless.

Edward Scissorhands

Every kid needs to grow up with Edward Scissorhands. I absolutely adored this film as a child, and even now as an adult. One of my favourite Johnny Depp / Tim Burton films by far.

Fight Club
Fight Club(1999)

No matter how many times I see this film, I never seem to get sick of it. In fact, I find that I love it more and more. This is probably one of my favourite performances by Brad Pitt, and also one of my favourites by Edward Norton (though American History X is a close tie!). Helena Bonham Carter is also fantastic in this film, and there are some great cameos by Jared Leto and Meatloaf. Definitely worth watching if you've never seen it (though I find that hard to believe!).

The Love Guru

Unfunny and not even the slightest bit entertaining, which is a real shame because Mike Meyers can do a whole lot better than this. I fell asleep halfway through this film.

The Real McCoy

I actually really enjoyed this film because it didn't take itself too seriously. Basinger's performance as Karen McCoy wasn't all that fantastic, but it didn't need to be. A lot of bank-heist films have this over-the-top kind of feel to them, but "The Real McCoy" is layered with an actual plot to prop up the otherwise overdone One Last Job schtick. Some of my favourite scenes in the film involved McCoy developing her relationship with her son. Meanwhile, who on earth tells their child that their mother is dead when she's only doing a 6-year stint in a correctional facility? That is horrifying!

I also really enjoyed Kilmer's performance as J.T. Baker, purely because it was good to see him in a role where he could relax. Being the happy-go-lucky guy seems to come really naturally to Kilmer, and it was nice to see him smile so much and just have fun with the role.

On a final note, I'm taking a half a star off my rating of this film for the amount of times someone said to Karen McCoy "you kept your figure" after she got out of the facility.


"Thunderheart" is the tale of a young FBI agent, Ray Levoi, who is assigned to investigate a murder on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. Levoi is himself of Indian heritage, though he denies any connection with the Siouxs. A little hot-tempered, Levoi tackles (sometimes literally) this murder investigation head-on, until he is put back in his place by the Indians living on the Reservation. Before he knows it, he is beginning to discover who he truly is, what it means to be Indian, and just how corrupt the hearts of the unpure can be.

An insightful and well-constructed film, "Thunderheart" is high on my list of good early-90's films.

The Doors
The Doors(1991)

I have this movie to thank for introducing me to the wonderful music of The Doors. A wonderfully crafted film, Stone's "The Doors" is a memorable experience. This film was my first forray into the world of Tragic Heroes (if one could call Morrison a hero), and left me feeling empty inside (but in a good way). This is mostly with many thanks to Val Kilmer's haunting and astonishingly convincing portrayal of the man himself, Jim Morrison. His voice, his mannerisms, the way he sang, the way he experienced the music, the way he let the music experience him - it is almost as though Kilmer were channeling the ghost of Mr. Mojo Risin'. The only qualm I have is that this film is bloated with symbolism and metaphors pertaining to Morrison's beliefs and life experiences. If you're unfamiliar with the man, some of this stuff might go over your head and seem pretentious. Less is more, Stone. We get it, you're a fanboy. But you're not always in good company.

Kill Me Again

Jack Andrews is a man down on his luck. Recently widowed and drowning in gambling debts, Jack wants nothing to do with life other than to float by and eventually be buried in the plot beside his deceased wife. That is until Fay Forrester turns up. This young damsel in distress asks Jack to stage her murder in the hopes of getting away from her violent criminal of a boyfriend, Vince. Little does Jack know how close he might come to getting his ultimate wish.

Not an altogether boring film, "Kill Me Again" was a good way to pass the time. It was a very typical noir film, with a very typical pseudo-romance, and an even more typical twist. Kilmer shone quite brightly in this film, despite acting alongside fan-favourite Michael Madsen and Kilmer's stunning wife-at-the-time, Joanne Whalley. The subtle and reactive performance given by Kilmer was a breath of life into a character who might otherwise have been lost in the sea of dead-boring characters. Kilmer's talent seems wasted on smaller projects such as this. However, t'was good to see Kilmer and Jon Gries pair up again. Lazlo Hollyfeld and Chris Knight together again!


I need to watch this one again. It's been a while.

Top Secret!
Top Secret!(1984)

If you liked Airplane and Kentucky Fried Movie, you will definitely like Top Secret! Val Kilmer's debut role as Nick Rivers is not to be missed. Humour is definitely one of his strong suits. You'll walk away from this experience with a smile on your face, and a whole slew of hilarious one-liners.

Real Genius
Real Genius(1985)

Absolutely hilarious. Had me laughing non-stop. Great performances from Val Kilmer, Gabe Jarret, and Jon Gries. If you haven't seen this, you definitely should. It's pure 80's comedy gold.

Top Gun
Top Gun(1986)

I really don't understand why Top Gun is so revered. It is very slow to action, has little-to-no plot, and is littered with terrible 80's pop music (and I am generally a fan of terrible 80's pop music, but this has to be some of the worst!). It's your usual Bad Egg Needs to Pull His Socks Up plot, though that seems to take a back-seat with regard to the over-abundance of F-4 shots. There's even a pseudo-romance smattered in there somewhere between the homoerotic subtext, but it feels as though it was an afterthought to draw the female audience into the theatre (frankly, I would accept Iceman and Maverick having it off in the locker room than the absolute crap that was Maverick and Blackwood). Overall it was just a terribly long and terribly boring film. Had it been properly edited, this film wouldn't have taken up 1 hour and 49 minutes of screentime, and we all could have gone back to sighing dreamily over our Emilio Estevez and/or The Corey's posters. This film needs more cowbell.

The Salton Sea

Same old revenge plot, but carried brilliantly by solid performances from both Val Kilmer and Vincent D'Onofrio. Would definitely see it again.

The Traveler
The Traveler(2010)

Highly disappointing film. There is no suspense, no anticipation. The plot unravels far too quickly, and all that is left to carry the film through to the end is mindless gore. Particularly disliked the death scene of the female cop - absolutely gratuitous. However, Val Kilmer's performance as Mr Nobody was fantastic. His talent is wasted on films such as this. It's a real shame.

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

Love it. Plain and simple. The dynamic between Kilmer and Downey Jr is a must see! :)


This movie fell a little short for me. The only redeeming thing about it was Val Kilmer's performance as Doc Holliday. Definitely worth watching if you're a Kilmer fan. Otherwise, good luck sititng through it.