Mike's Review of Resident Evil: Retribution
Another year another "Resident Evil" movie. Not just another RE movie but another RE 3D movie. I'm a huge fan of the game series, even though the series has been declining over the years, I always found the movies to be at the least a little fun and something that one can watch and escape while seeing the world get devoured by virus infected people. The latest incarnation should have at least done that and not put me to sleep.
If you haven't seen any of the previous films there is a nice little opening where the main character Alice tells you step by step what has been happening and how we ended up where we are now. I thought that was a nice touch, and is good for the people that didn't waste there time sitting through the last 4 movies. Then I started to wonder, if you haven't seen any of these movies before why start with number 5. My wife has seen 1 of them and it was good for a laugh.
This time Alice is still trying to bring down Umbrella corporation as well as trying to find out why all the people she knew before that have died are coming back. She soon learns what is going on and needs to enlist their help in stopping Umbrella before the world is totally dominated. That is pretty much the short and the long of it because story wise it's pretty much just running and shooting, and running and shooting. Oh did I mention about the running and shooting. The movie had a running time of 1 hour and 35 minutes and it seemed to go on forever. It got to the point where I just didn't care anymore and wanted to get out and get something to eat. Story aside for a moment let's jump to the acting.
I can usually forgive the acting a little in movies like this because it's not supposed to be Shakespeare, but come on, at least give it some effort. The acting in Retribution is horrendous and very laughable at best. I do have to say though, it's not all the actors and actresses fault, a lot of the fault lies in the script...or lack thereof. The dialogue feels like it was written but an elementary school's English class. I'm sure an infinite number of monkies with a typewriter could have turned out a better screenplay than Paul W.S. Anderson did. The whole thing was just atrocious, and this is coming from someone who at one time found the series fun and went into this one with such low expectation that I thought I was going to walk away thinking that was at least better than I was expecting. No, definitely not this time.
This brings me to Paul W.S. Anderson. How does this guy still work in Hollywood. I understand that the series is a bad film series but somehow the cash cow keeps mooing and the money keeps coming in. Seriously enough is enough. At least my wife and I used movie passes and didn't have to pay to see it. Take that Mr. Anderson you didn't get our money this time. On a serious note, this guy tries to be all style and no substance. He does seem to have some good ideas but just can't properly execute them. One word of advice Mr. Anderson, now I'm starting to sound like the Matrix, work on your story, flesh it out better. I think that is one of the BIG problems is that the story is not fleshed out at all and everyone just runs around willy nilly and shoots at anything that moves. Stylized violence in this movie is so over the top it becomes very boring. Something that should have been a fun scary action movie did nothing more but bore me into an early sleep.
His wife Mila Jovovich is back as Alice. She is great in action scenes in this and makes the fights frantic and believable but the dialogue she has to say, as sparse as it is has to be some of the worst I have heard in a long while. I really like Mila and I thought one of her best roles was as Joan of Arc and I wish she would go back to doing movies like those that show off her acting talents. I was hoping that this would have been the last one for her but the way it ends I'm pretty sure it's not.
All of the other actors and actresses did either mediocre to lousy jobs as their respected characters. I won't bother going into detail, they were just that bad.
The effects were decent and fit well into the movie. Nothing seemed too green screened or digital until the very end of the picture. I do have to say the final shot in the movie is epic and if the last movie is made properly could become epic in content. Though if Paul W.S.Anderson has his way it probably won't.
The music is another thing that bothered me about the movie. I felt it was always in your ear, booming through the speakers. Come on guys, know how to level a soundtrack. Seriously it was always there and became very distracting in scenes.
Overall I give this movie a 1.5 out of 5 because one early action sequence really caught my eye and the effects weren't half bad in this. Other than that stay away from this one until it comes to one of the streaming services out there or Redbox. This won't be worth the price of admission. If you have free movie passes like we did, I urge you to save them....seriously. Till next time my friends.