Dactylion's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Reign of Fire

"Should we set the triangulators?" "No time."

John Carpenter's Escape from L.A.
½

Can't believe I hadn't seen this until today. I loved it!

Avatar
Avatar(2009)

I have had to change this from not interested. After the generic intro It was pretty much entirely CG; the story was an uninspired mix of Fern Gully with a dash of Pocahontas and some implied furry sex thrown in. Basically it's an optimistic militaristic romantic version of District 9, so if you liked that you'll probably hate this. I like Sigourney a lot and I wanted to enjoy this but the story was just too boring and predictable to really hold my attention.

2012
2012(2009)

I watched this after reading dozens of bad reviews criticizing everything from the acting to the storyline to the length--the list goes on. So my expectations weren't high to begin with. After watching California break off into the Pacific Ocean, I wasn't sure whether this was supposed to be frightening or comedic. Regardless, I loved the tackiness of it all. The Governator and Dalai Lama made special appearances. I agree with a previous comment that this film is "ridiculous"--but in a good way? I think?

Shaolin Soccer
½

Really over-the-top, non-stop humor of the darkest variety. I watched this with the family on Thanksgiving--we couldn't stop laughing! Every time I thought it couldn't get any crazier, it did. The choreography takes cues from Kung Fu Hustle while the witty razor-tongued responses seem inspired by CJ7. Well, Stephen Chow was in both, so, yeah. If you enjoyed either of those films, or if you simply like the quirkiness of Asian cinema, I recommend seeing this.

Iron Man
Iron Man(2008)

I really, REALLY hate superhero movies. I did, however, find this tolerable--dare I say, good? The film bypassed the typical cliches used and abused by directors who've taken on this genre, which was refreshing. I couldn't stop looking at Downey Jr.'s weird facial hair, though. I would've loved to see Mike Patton in this role, even though he would've probably walked off the set because of all the shameless product placement. Oh well, EXPLOSIONS! Burger King, anyone?

Firecracker
Firecracker(2005)
½

I love stories where the antagonist is really evil and twisted, and in this film, Patton delivers in two roles. Character lines were blurred at times, and I am still unsure as to whether that was the filmmakers' intention or not. That said, I did enjoy all the characters and the strange secrets they kept.

Dark Country
Dark Country(2009)

The beginning seemed like a blatant rip-off of Rodriguez's Sin City. The film gets better in the second half once the paranoia sets in, but the storyline was pretty predictable once you caught on to the swing of things. I liked the twilight zone feel about this, though it's definitely more of a dude's film.

Hotdog Casserole

The main feature itself is creatively shot and cut by Raab, but if you're anything like me you got this for the extra skits and outtakes included with the film. I'd love to see more from "Rehaab Productions" in the future!

District 9
District 9(2009)
½

An alien race stranded on Earth is exploited and abused by the governments of our ''civilized'' nations for twenty long years. Finally, they acquire the means of escape--only to have it snatched by MNU official, Wikus van de Merwe. After becoming infected by an alien virus in a strange turn of events, Wikus begins to sympathize with the ''prawns'' he previously pushed around. This is a powerful film that runs smoothly throughout. One of my favorites to come out of Hollywood this year.

Haggard
Haggard(2002)

Brandon DiCamillo has stated that one of his favorite actors of all time was Peter Sellers. I think Peter would've been proud of him here. Switching between various characters throughout, Brandon effortlessly carries the entire film and saves it from lovesick relationship purgatory in an epitaph that would've read similar to Clerks 2. I found myself fast-forwarding through the film to the parts with Bran Dico and Raab. They are easily the funniest duo here--Haggard would have been a dead duck without them.

Race to Witch Mountain

Most of the money was spent on special effects and car chases, two things which, unfortunately, young kids don't care too much about. The beginning of the film sets a great mood, but it was disappointing (yet hardly surprising) that the story fell flat more than once. The shadowy CIA enemies chasing the protagonists were impersonal and boring,and although the alien predator-like enemy was interesting, it was also completely unbelievable. As such, I couldn't finish the film.

CJ7
CJ7(2008)
½

Not for children who are disillusioned by how people truly are (and how the world actually works) this film pushes a few social boundaries as far as abusive behavior goes. I thought the cruelty added realism and an edginess to this otherwise saccharine-sweet family film. I actually enjoyed the plot twists, though I can see how some weaker viewers may be discouraged by them. I'd watch it again.

Sixty Six
Sixty Six(2006)

I watched this because I adore any role that has Helena B.C. smoking like a chimney--this film is no exception, and poor Bernie's got the asthma to prove it! The ending made my heart melt. I thought this movie was sweet.

Doomsday
Doomsday(2008)
½

As long as you don't mind a few major flies in the ointment (how do they get a steady supply of hair dye and petrol through the barrier? why didn't they use satellite imagery to get a better idea of how many people were inside the barrier before going inside? why was there a storehouse conveniently full of modern amenities?) but as a fan of action films, who would mind that? If this sounds like you, then you should find this flick highly entertaining. Lots of explosions and gore-splattering fun.

Grave of the Fireflies (Hotaru no haka)
½

I re-watched this recently. In all honesty, I'll admit it wasn't love at first sight. The first time I saw this, I thought it to be "too serious", paling in comparison with films like Millennium Actress or Paprika. Upon a second viewing (this time in Japanese with subtitles), I am floored. As terrible as the air raids from foreigners were, the apathy, uncaring, and disgust by the children's own countrymen are truly at fault for their misfortune. So much emotion is shown through these drawings, it's unbelievable. The voice acting as well was superb. The director was smart by keeping the story simple and focusing instead on extremely in-depth character development.

Australia
Australia(2008)
½

Hugh Jackman gets his shine on in Australia. The movie is long, and I think the screenplay should have been shortened. There was just so much going on, spanning years--when a film has so much terrain to cover, either detail and character development are usually compromised or the running time is increased. Well, this suffered both. I'm sure the directors and producers of this film had high ambitions, but sometimes it's better to concentrate on a few points rather than give a bland and half-assed summary of many, many, MANY events.

While She Was Out

This story was crap from the start, filled with forced monologues as filler to a less-than-adequate film. Kim's character Della makes a series of perhaps the worst choices by a female lead--EVER. Although she conveniently grabs a handful of melee weapons from her vehicle before finding one bad hiding spot after another in the bushes (always conveniently within hearing and in some cases seeing distance from her would-be assailants), she FORGETS the toolbox at the end! Great job lady, I'm really sure you worry about your kids when you leave a trail of evidence and corpses in the bushes. Any intelligent or even mildly perceptive individuals should avoid this train wreck at all costs. The characters should have been developed better... hopefully someone will make a more logical remake of this in the future.

The Day the Earth Stood Still
½

"I am fearful when I see people substituting fear for reason."

This film was basically a big "fuck you" to the American society in the 50s, and I believe the underlying moral is all the more applicable in today's warped culture and fear-based politics. There wasn't a particular aspect of this film that I didn't like. The plot, characters, and even the "special effects" were all equally engaging. I also enjoyed the portrait of 1950s life this film painted--the two doctors smoking at the hospital! That scene made me crack up. An interesting sci-fi classic that is perfect to wind down to after a long day.

Passengers
Passengers(2008)

I really don't know what to say... I hate extremely predictable plot twists, especially when they've been executed poorly over and over again. I'm sorry but this girl just is not a good actress. She looks the same in all of her roles--I'm beginning to have trouble telling them apart.

Ghost Town
Ghost Town(2008)

This was vaguely amusing. I thought Ricky Gervais acted well in this film; I enjoyed his character, who was a total grouch. I might like to check him out in another movie, but this one was much too bland and hokey for my tastes.

Surfer, Dude
Surfer, Dude(2008)

Didn't find this movie interesting at all. The writing fell flat from the top branch of the stupid tree and hit every cliché on the way down. Unless you're one of the many middle-aged women who are hopelessly obsessed with McConaughey's physique, I wouldn't recommend this film.

Ginger Snaps
Ginger Snaps(2001)

A gory, campy horror flick destined for the budget bin--or perhaps the hallowed halls of B cult classics? Fans of the genre will appreciate the smart dialogue of the eerie Fitzgerald sisters, which is laced with razor sharp wit. Their style calls back upon Winona's "Lydia" in Beetlejuice years ago. Kind of corny, but hey, I liked it.

The Wackness
The Wackness(2008)

This is absolutely one of The Worst films I've seen this year. The entire story plays out like a really bad Degrassi episode and the dialogue is unbelievable and extremely stupid for lack of a better word. As a Troma fan of exceptional bad taste, even I could not see the appeal of this film. The sex and drugs might have changed my mind, if they had actually been as interesting as the reviewers here make them seem. A boring waste of time, I don't understand why Kingsley graces these idiots with his presence.

2001: A Space Odyssey

I've since read Clarke's Space Odyssey series, but I first saw this screenplay when I was in seventh grade. If monkey suits, bizarre set design, and a sociopathic killer computer combined with soothing orchestral selections sounds appealing to you, do check this out. Complete with what appears to be a 15 minute long acid trip at the end of the film.

My Neighbor Totoro
½

One of my favorite films growing up, and my all-time favorite film by Hayao Miyazaki. Even now when I watch it, the artwork and characters evoke memories of the mystery and beauty nature held for me as a child. The atmosphere in this movie is strange and ethereal. My only real complaint was it wasn't longer.

Sid and Nancy
½

I'm not a huge fan of the Sex Pistols, so I didn't particularly care whether they got Sid's bio fixed or not. To be completely honest, I just wanted to see Gary Oldman's portrayal. Chloe Webb's grating performance is also noteworthy as the asinine other half of the ill-fated duo. I myself wanted to kill her by the end of the film!

The Darjeeling Limited
½

I'm pretty much against Wes Anderson's indie brand of justice, whatever you want to call it. This wasn't as bad as the others though so if you're a skeptic like me, you might give this a chance. If you're part of the "Poor Little Rich Club" you will be able to relate to the shallow and pretentious brothers-- regular folk may find their rationale (or lack of it) extremely daunting at times.

Fido
Fido(2007)

Zombie servants! An ingenious concept. The saccharine-sweet fifties atmosphere intertwines with the zombie bloodfeast in the most satisfying way. A charming and unique horror film that is surprisingly pretty damn heartwarming. I thought Carrie-Anne Moss was really darling in this role.

Flatland
Flatland(2007)
½

I dosed on LSD before watching this, so my review here may be slightly skewed, but I'm quite sure the film was good. The 2-D world was very well executed. The 3-D world looks slightly skewed, but CGI was a somewhat unknown acronym back in '97. Is it just me or does A. Sphere look like Pac Man? Interesting movie based on an interesting novella.

Death Race
Death Race(2008)
½

A Battle Royale concept in a prison. Interesting film with only a few plot holes--though to be entirely fair, in an action flick, this is to be expected. I thought the dialogue was hilarious, and very B-movie-esque. Think Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness.

Transsiberian

Roy and his slutty wife Jessie get screwed over by drug smugglers. As much as I wanted to like this film (as a huge fan of Kingsley as well as anything & everything Russian) I could not. I also really couldn't see Emily Mortimer as the bad girl, so that whole part of the story didn't exactly click with me.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X Files 2)

Since when were Mulder and Scully boning? What the fuck! This is a soap opera, not X-Files. No aliens, either. I was extremely disappointed.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

I don't understand... there's everything from dragons to abominable snow monsters in this movie, but no mummies? Oh wait, it has Jet Li! This movie covers all genres from romance to drama to action, resulting in a tasteless and bland piece of Hollywood garbage. Enjoy!

Mirrors
Mirrors(2008)

Some fun gore scenes but I was surprised to find there was not that much tension in this film. I was rolling my eyes more often than biting my nails during this one. I'd like to see the Korean version to compare the two.

Puffball
Puffball(2008)

Hilariously retarded film about a crazy woman into witchcraft who wants her infertile daughter to have a child very badly. Lots of awkward sex scenes to seal the deal. Destined for the dollar bin in some decrepit rental shack, somewhere.

What Dreams May Come

As a firm unbeliever in a conceptual Heaven and Hell, I found the film slightly corny at times. If you're into style over substance, this film is for you. The locations were so gorgeous that I truly got lost in it. The movie itself was a bit predictable though.

Milk
Milk(2008)
½

This film is informative on a political front while maintaining the human aspects of Harvey Milk. The fact that it's gay shouldn't turn you off to it, because it's a powerful film with an important message. Milk is a man with real emotions-- this is not a Brokeback Mountain brorape fest.

Super Mario Bros.

So what if the only thing it has in common with the video game are the two main characters, Mario and Luigi? Read the poster: Bob Hoskins! John Leguizamo! Dennis Hopper! Yoshi's a fuckin' dinosaur, and don't even make me mention the "Elevator Scene".. yeah, you know the one. If you don't like this movie you're a goomba.

Lady in the Water

The beginning was promising, but it drops off once the director joins the mix as the "struggling writer". I've seen Signs and the Village, so I didn't think M. Night Shyamalan would or could write / direct / produce another movie with such huge plot holes, but he did. The characters are poorly written and often jump to irrational conclusions. Struggling writer, indeed. NARF NARF NARF!

Hide and Seek

As a horror movie fanatic, I didn't think this was that great. It had great potential in the beginning then it began unwinding about halfway through with sloppy dialogue and a "surprise" ending that was blatantly obvious for any audience member with half a brain. There were undeniable parallels between Fanning's character and Winona Ryder's "Lydia" in Beetlejuice, especially during the dinner scene when she comes to the table in almost the same outfit Lydia wore in the film. Kind of dumb.

The Backwoods

As much as I love Gary Oldman I can't begin to bring myself to like this film. The script absolutely does not adapt well to screen, and the characters were not very likable I found the women to be particularly air-headed and annoying.

American Crude
½

The story was mindless but I laughed out loud at times, and Missi Pyle was hilarious as the transsexual hooker. Not half as bad as I thought it would be.

1408
1408(2007)
½

This is a real acid-trip of a film! Not your typical haunted house flick, for sure. I didn't have high expectations but I actually enjoyed this.

Bottle Rocket
½

That's exactly how I picture them to act as brothers in real life! A lot of dry but wickedly funny scenes, like when this Mexican guy asks Owen's character in the lav, "Are you in the army?" "No, I just like to keep my hair short."

There Will Be Blood

The ending was so satisfying for me, I'm glad he finally put that preacher boy in his place! Lots of weird pauses in this film, really makes you think. It's something I may have to watch a few more times before I fully grasp all the concepts presented. Such powerful acting by Day-Lewis. The only major complaint I have is that the soundtrack seemed grating and out of place with the rest of the film.

Rambo (Rambo IV)

Not bad at all! This is what an action film should be. I'm sick and tired of pseudo-intellectual technological crap coming out these days (Die Hard, anyone?) so this was a refreshing return to the basics. Lots of mayhem and very little dialogue to trip over. Stallone's the man.

Park
Park(2006)

I really didn't want to see this but I did anyways. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I thought the nudists were kind of out of place in the film. My favorites were April and Ian, the quirky perennial discontents.

The Take
The Take(2007)
½

It was a solid film, but then again I am a huge fan of John Leguizamo for reasons unbeknownst to me... great acting all around and excellent use of the camera in this one. The storyline is pretty straightforward.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
½

After seeing this on a million of those "Best Movies of All Time" lists. I avoided it for a while because I was worried it would be overrated but I was shuffling around in Blockbuster the other night and I decided to give it a go. It was LONG (over 3 hours!) but I was glued to the screen the entire time. Simple, yet extremely effective story with well-developed characters. Truly deserving of all its praise.

Brokeback Mountain

More of an unrequited lust film than a romantic one, but it was interesting. The story was a bit bland but the acting was quite good and the locations were beautiful.

The Air I Breathe

I love Kevin Bacon and Forest Whitaker but an all star cast can't make up for what this film lacks in substance. A loose plot and high aspirations fail to deliver on every level. In comparison to other "strangers lives intersecting" dramas I've seen, this one is probably the most simple-minded. I got the feeling the director was trying too hard. This was actually painful to watch, and I found Sarah Michelle Gellars' performance to be particularly weak.

The Ruins
The Ruins(2008)
½

If you can make it through the beginning (which is absolute rubbish) and overlook several serious flaws with the story (why can they only escape down the one side of the pyramid, why did they do this or that) you will be well rewarded with some ultra gory DIY surgery scenes and amputations, all very well done I might add. I gave it a half star for the wanker yank characters, three stars for great gore.

The Hawk Is Dying

This is great, the cinematography is what really captured me. The shots, colors, camera work all worked together to create a real interesting mood. A quiet film, not for the heartless "rocks" of the world ;) I enjoyed it very much.

The Lather Effect

This is terrible. A group of people who pathetically cling to their high-school days are all still coincidentally friends. I felt like I was watching someone's parents the whole time, except for the fact that I know some of my own friends act more mature than these idiots. Complete with a cringe-worthy impromptu singing scene at the end.

War (Rogue Assassin)

Too predictable. In each fight scene (with the exception of the final confrontation between Rogue and Crawford) you can tell who's going to die beforehand - the one wearing the white shirt. I suppose they do it for dramatic effect. Terrible pronunciations throughout the film (atrocious Japanese, saying Ya-KOO-za instead of Yakuza) and the "twist" at the end completely ruins it. I know action films are generally mindless but this one really takes the cake.

Ghost Dog - The Way of the Samurai

I like to think of this as the action film for the intellectual mind. Friends warned me before hand that the film was "pretty serious" and "kind of slow" but I found it mesmerizing. The story is quite introspective and Forest's character has this duality blending kindness and understanding with his ability to become a cold, merciless assassin. Definitely worth seeing, at least once.

P.S. I Love You

NOT a fan of romantic comedies but I watched this with my mum and sister last night. They both cried hysterically especially my mum but there were funnier parts, too. A sweet and touching tale about love, loss, and life thereafter.

A History of Violence

Tom unwittingly unleashes a maelstrom of murder, mayhem, and mafioso when he foils a pair of robbers at his small-town diner. Brutal and extremely visceral fight scenes and cool calculating Ed Harris make this film worth watching. It was pretty satisfying to watch because Viggo's character kicks so much ass the whole time.

Finishing the Game

If you ask anyone, they'll tell you I'm a big fan of the mocumentary. Which is why I'm a bit put off by my distaste for this film. It was a bit too "cut and paste" for my tastes which lead to a little confusion but Sung Kang was brilliant, I loved him in this.

Thank You for Smoking
½

As a smoker myself I was extremely skeptical about watching this. My initial thoughts were that this was going to be ninety-something minutes of tounge-in-cheek anti-smoking propaganda but it was actually quite an entertaining story and got its message clear: it's not just big tobacco that has it out to get us, it's advertisers, politicians, journalists: basically everyone!

Youth Without Youth
½

The story line was a bit on the Lynch side, which isn't to say the film wasn't good. I just think I'll have to watch it another time to pick up on all the subtleties I'm sure I missed. Beautiful locations for this film and a fascinating attention to detail made it mesmerizing to watch.

The Matrix
The Matrix(1999)

I didn't like it when I first watched in '98 but I watched it again recently due to my friends pestering (YOU DON'T LIKE THE MATRIX?!?) and I can now honestly say this is one of the best movies of all time. It really set the bar as far as action movies nowadays.

Teeth
Teeth(2007)
½

Just when I thought all that Hollywood had left for the horror genre were redundant and yawn-worthy sequels for Hostel and Saw. This film bounces back and forth from being hilarious to terrifying, but that's just another redeeming quality in horror flicks for me - ironic if you've read the Seattle Times review stating quite the opposite, that this film has none.

If you liked the originality and twisted humor of "Slither" in 2006 you will be delighted to know that the same charm can also be found in "Teeth", a movie about the myth - vagina dentata!

Gamers
Gamers(2006)
½

On point and hilarious! On the title screen one of the "messages" Reese leaves mentions how pissed off Christopher Guest would be about this mockumentary, but I thought it was fantastic not to mention one of the funniest films I've seen recently. There's a lot of silliness but fans of RPGs, MMORPGs, and even TCGs should find some humor and truth in this.

Better Luck Tomorrow

I liked the vocabulary concept. The characters were extremely volatile and unpredictable though, especially towards the end. I know that generally speaking, people are inconsistent at best but it got to the point where it just wasn't believable. I can't see an individual going from someone who obsesses about his college transcript to the point where he organizes beach clean up days to being a hard drug user, gun-toting murderer.

Son-in-Law
Son-in-Law(1993)
½

Meet the Parents totally ripped off this idea. Really funny but unlike a lot of his other films, it isn't completely pointless - there is a lesson to be learned here. I felt really good after watching this.

Bio-Dome
Bio-Dome(1996)

Pauly Shore doing nitrous hits! And Purple Sticky Punch! If you don't like this movie you are probably too serious. Chill out, bud-dy.

11:14
11:14(2003)
½

The best movie of its kind that I've seen to date. Fast-paced and well-written, the film is shocking, disgusting, and very darkly funny. I liked it a LOT better than Magnolia.

No Country for Old Men

The characters are so simple, the plot so linear, but this movie excels where others have so often failed; the reason being the attention to detail. Javier Bardem as the deliciously deranged psychopath was PERFECT in this role. At some points I needed subtitles, though - the southern accents don't get much thicker than this.

Southland Tales
½

I am not a Richard Kelly fan to begin with. I thought Donnie Darko was total crap. That being said, this isn't that much different - there's background narration and an ominous end-of-the-world vibe going on the whole time. Lots of pointless, melodramatically profound BS. Don't waste your time.

Wristcutters: A Love Story

I thought this was going to suck ass and be some typical indie bull but I actually loved it. I'd even consider it to be one of my favorite films. If you don't think this is your type of film, I'd say give it a try. You might like it. Soundtrack is great - mostly Gogol Bordello but the rest of the soundtrack is comprised of artists who committed suicide - quite fitting, I think.

Gummo
Gummo(1997)
½

I finally got a chance to see this! Disturbing, haunting and strange while staying touchingly real and true. Growing up in very rural New England a few things seemed close to home. An accurate portrait by Korine.

The Good Humor Man
½

A somber and sobering film about a group of kids you probably won't have too much trouble relating to. The main character reminds me of Billy Corgan.

Margot at the Wedding
½

I found this movie refreshingly real. Jack Black's character I thought was particularly funny and although my friend thought he seemed out of place I thought Black added some laughter to an otherwise stuffy, sort-of uncomfortable film. All of the characters seem sexually frustrated. Interesting stuff, nonetheless.

The First Wives Club
½

I haven't seen this in at least ten years but I remembered it the other day, nostalgically. The characters are what make this worth watching. Midler is endearingly human and Keaton is smart and slightly neurotic while Goldie Hawn plays the part of the brazen blonde used to getting what she wants. Surprisingly good movie, pretty funny too.

The Departed
The Departed(2006)
½

Finally finished watching this after two valiant but failed attempts. It picked up towards the end but the first two hours of this two-and-a-half hour movie were boring, just yawn-worthy filler and the whole thing was predictable unless of course, as they say in the nor'east, you're completely "retahdid".

Shoot 'Em Up
Shoot 'Em Up(2007)
½

The movie is highly stylized and unrealistic, real fast paced with very little character development but it's ok because Clive Owen is too busy the whole time kicking everyone's ass. On the back it promo'd itself as being "very, very funny, but it wasn't, really.

The Host
The Host(2007)
½

Not a big fan of the "huge monster" genre of horror film but this one really breaks a lot of the stereotypes and does something new. Funny, frightening, and the depth of the characters makes this a very moving piece as well. Very well done!

Paris Je T'aime

Some of the scenes weren't really to my liking, but there are 18 of them so you're bound to see something which appeals to you. I particularly enjoyed Christopher Doyle's piece, "Porte de Choisy". A lot better than I expected.

Snow Cake
Snow Cake(2006)
½

Interesting movie, well cast with deep characters. Of course It helps I'm a huge fan of both Rickman and Weaver. They're great in this!

Romeo + Juliet
½

Chilling, dreamy, and haunting version of William Shakespeare's classic play. A beautiful story about star-crossed lovers.

This Is Spinal Tap

Some very memorable scenes and lines in here, and their songs are actually quite good! A very funny film mocking hair-metal bands.

Best in Show
Best in Show(2000)
½

A guilty pleasure for sure, but every time I see this on television I have to stop and watch. I've fallen in love with all the characters and their quirks. The humor is extremely dry, the "documentary" is spot on.

The Princess Bride

When I was very young I hated this movie, but I have a greater appreciation for it now. It's pretty funny with lots of that tongue-in-cheek brand of humour and there's also a lot of memorable lines in here.

Scary Movie
Scary Movie(2000)

I thought this was funny when I watched it in middle school, but I seem to have lost my appreciation for this sort of movie.

Sin City
Sin City(2005)
½

The cinematography was interesting but I didn't think there was anything special about the story. Great adaptation, though.

Spider-Man
Spider-Man(2002)
½

I don't like either of the main actors (Maguire / Dunst) however Sam Raimi did a great job adapting the comic book style to the fight scenes.

Titanic
Titanic(1997)

Painful to watch when I first saw it as it still is today. Jaw-droppingly corny lines and love story muck up an otherwise interesting story. If you want proof of history repeating itself watch "Pearl Harbor".

Gladiator
Gladiator(2000)
½

Joaquin Phoenix was so evil in this one! I loved it. An interesting look into the politics and the Colosseum of ancient Rome.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

As much as I enjoyed the books this was my least favorite of the film adaptations.

Millennium Actress (Sennen joyû)

The title didn't really pique my interest but I watched it regardless. It was a simple yet powerful story and while some may think it's corny for her to chase after a love she never really knew, you can compare it to any dream you pursued that was always a little out of reach.

The Skeleton Key
½

As a huge fan of all things occult, voodoo rituals, et cetera, I was sort of disappointed to watch this dumbed-down suspense film. At least it wasn't very long.

I Am Legend
I Am Legend(2007)

I didn't really understand how Will Smith's character was so psychologically messed up and disoriented when that lady was perfectly fine. Tom Hanks was in a similar situation in Castaway and for a longer period of time as well, and he didn't become socially retarded. The ending was absolutely unnecessary I thought - but then again this was based on a book so I guess any qualms I have with the storyline should go to that instead.

Saving Silverman

Overall well cast except I agree with other people here that Jason Biggs is disposable. Lots of funny little scenes though and lots of Neil.

30 Days of Night

The vampires were wonderfully brutal and there was plenty of gore but this movie would've been a lot better with out Josh Hartnett on the screen being a total douchebag.

Ten To Chi To (Heaven and Earth)

The scenery is absolutely breathtaking and the battle scenes are done on an epic scale. An interesting look into warfare in feudal Japan, although a few parts were a bit sketchy - just certain dialogue and that terribly improvised flute-playing.

The Passion of the Christ
½

I'm not into Christianitiy but I AM into gore and exploitation films. There were a few scenes in here that actually made me wince! I don't know of any other crucifixion movies but this one probably owned all of them.

Night at the Museum

Cool special effects but really nothing special. Every Ben Stiller movie is the same, he's just running around fucking things up and it's supposed to be funny.

Paprika
Paprika(2006)

I'm 20 years old and I really liked this! I very strongly disagree with the guy below I thought this picture was WAY better than anything Miyazaki is cranking out lately.

Memoirs of a Geisha

I had read the book and was looking forward to seeing this, but I hated the direction they went with this interpretation - way too Hollywood, such a corny ending. The beginning was absolutely captivating but the end was lame.

The Village
The Village(2004)

Considering M. Night Shyamalan hasn't written a decent script since The Sixth Sense, I wasn't that surprised that this sucked as well.

Saw
Saw(2004)

I watched it, since I'm into horror movies. I thought it was going to be more intense because of all the type surrounding it, but I thought it was tame compared to a lot of films. I don't want to check out any of the sequels, I could hardly sit through this one!

Idle Hands
Idle Hands(1999)
½

One of those weird teen horror flix from the 90s, lots of gross and funny stuff. My mom thought it was completely retarded. You don't have to be high to watch this but it probably wouldn't hurt.

Hostel Part II

I liked all the blood and gore but true horror and exploitation fans, prepare to be disappointed. This film was lacking in substance and lures viewers in with hot chicks. Too bad it's still boring!

Ladyhawke
Ladyhawke(1985)

I totally forgot about this movie! My friend put it on and I was totally mesmerized again. The music is a little weird but I guess a lot of things were in the 80s.

Hot Rod
Hot Rod(2007)

I didn't really have high expectations for this but it was actually pretty funny, especially the "Europe" scene. I don't know if I would've thought it was as funny if the guy in the theater wasn't laughing so hard though.

Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice(1988)
½

Misunderstood goth-girl discovers a couple of ghosts and bio-exorcist Betelguise in her attic. I loved it when I first watched it and I still love it today!

House of 1000 Corpses
½

I could tell a lot of care was taken with regards to casting, soundtrack, dialogue, and cinematography. It possesses the same gritty acid-trip horror as his music videos.

War of the Worlds
½

I thought when the aliens first arrived was the best part, then the film steadily went downhill from there. Dakota Fanning is great as the obnoxiously loud daughter. I wasn't really rooting for the main characters, I wanted them to get vaporized like everyone else.

Shaun of the Dead

I loved the characters. The dry British humor juxtaposed with a generous helping of zombie-bashing made for an interesting mix.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Once again, nothing to do with the games aside from enemies and a few references but I still found it to be pretty enjoyable.

Resident Evil
½

As a fan of the video game series, I have to say straight off the bat this has little to do with RE aside from various enemies and certain corporate identities. I liked it anyways, since I'm a Milla fan and I've been wanting to see her in more action roles since The Fifth Element.

Pearl Harbor
Pearl Harbor(2001)

This is absolutely THE worst historical film I've ever seen. Misleading title, gag-worthy storyline, and the worst acting I've seen in a big-budget movie.

Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy

The entire cast has great chemistry, and Will Ferrell's nonsensical one-liners are pretty funny. My favorite part was "Afternoon Delight".

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

I loved this movie when I was in ninth grade. I'm pretty sure that's the target audience for this film.

Blades of Glory

This wasn't really that great but I didn't exactly have the highest expectations when I sat down to watch it. It's quite funny at parts.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

I thought this was hilarious, especially the dialogue between Walker and Texas Ranger. The dvd has loads of funny extras so check it out.

Superbad
Superbad(2007)

I think the title says it all. Three lame dorks hook up with girls way out of their league. Haven't I seen this movie like a billion times already? I gave it two stars for the part where Hill's character recalls a time when he used to draw dicks on everything.

The Fifth Element

It's fast-paced and filled with such interesting and absorbing characters, costumes, plot. Loved Gary Oldman as Zorg, also this movie gave Chris Tucker his best role in my personal opinion!

Slither
Slither(2006)

Most definitely one of the better horror films to come out of Hollywood recently. It's scary, great gore fx, and some parts are undeniably hilarious. Don't pass this one by!

The Warriors
The Warriors(1979)
½

The cast, story, costumes, and gritty New York backdrop all make this a fuckin classy film.

Mars Attacks!

A campy sci-fi comedy from Tim Burton! I didn't like it when I was younger, but I watched it again recently and thought it was brilliant.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

It's hilarious and gory and bizarre, and the whole cast has great chemistry. If you are a fan of dark comedy / horror, like Dead Alive, you will love this film!

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End
½

The whole reality show premise is retarded but damn those hillbillies sure know how to barbecue!

Léon: The Professional
½

I loved all the characters in this film so much, I almost didn't want it to end! Jean Reno and Gary Oldman are perfectly cast.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

I love the entire cast and Hunter S. Thompson as well, but this movie kind of went in circles... I can't seem to get through the entire thing in one sitting.

Requiem for a Dream
½

Some things that stood out, for me: Ellen Burstyn's performance, Clint Mansell's soundtrack, and interesting cinematography where drugs and grapefruits were concerned. Oh, and who could forget that double-ended dildo scene! Crazy stuff, but pretty depressing.

Master of the Flying Guillotine
½

Very funny and full of great fighting scenes. A kung-fu and cult classic, for sure!

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

I had read the book previously. I am not usually a fan of book-to-film adaptations but this is definitely an exception. It seems like capturing the gift of Grenouille on film would have been difficult but the cinematography proved to be more than adequate. His murders are deliciously satisfying to watch! I loved Dustin Hoffman in this as well!

Battle Royale

I love all the violence and gore. Kids killing kids! Doesn't get any better than that.

Love Liza
Love Liza(2002)
½

I wanted to watch this movie because of my own morbid interest in huffing gas, but this movie offered more than just that: it was funny of course but Philip Seymour Hoffman offered an absolutely human performance - truly believable in every way.

On Golden Pond
½

Henry Fonda offers an amazing, and last performance. The tension between Father and Daughter was palpable and supposedly a reflection of their off-screen relationship, as well.

Six-String Samurai

The script was witty and well-written but I felt it get a little overly sentimental towards the end. And of course like everyone else says, the soundtrack by the Red Elvises is great.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

I found the sequel to be a bit more memorable but this one is hilarious as well. Cannibal Corpse is the shit!

Kill Bill: Volume 1

I feel like I should've liked this more because of the casting and cinematography but I wasn't very impressed by it - but, then again, Tarantino isn't very high on my list of favorite directors.

Fantastic Four

The story is incredibly hokey. You'll enjoy it if you share a fifth-grader's reading level. Ok, we all know already Jessica Alba is hot! I just wish she'd stop wasting herself on all these shitty movies.

Bubba Ho-Tep
Bubba Ho-Tep(2003)
½

I thought the pacing was slow but it's a pretty heart-warming film with some vulgar humor - an interesting combo, but it works!

Fargo
Fargo(1996)

A funny and quaint picture of murder in rural Minnesota. Frances McDormand as Marge cracked me up with her very thick accent and okie-dokies. Steve Buscemi once again doing a good job playing the crazy dude.

Re-Animator
Re-Animator(1985)

You know how some movies are so bad that they're good? Well, this isn't one of them! I'm a huge horror / zombie fan so this is my straightforward opinion. I did like the special fx, however - especially how they did the zombies - they looked really great!

Raising Arizona

"The salad days are over." I am still convinced this is Nicolas Cage's best performance - I really loved this movie and his drawling, witty, and surprisingly eloquent narration.

The Toxic Avenger
½

Strangely reminiscent of Sloth of the Goonies, but don't let that deter you! The Toxic Avenger is a true cult classic with both humor and lots of action, not to mention some really gross and creative fight scenes.

Fahrenheit 9/11

I'll freely admit I'm not a fan of neither Michael Moore's filmmaking techniques nor his extreme liberal bias. He did raise a few interesting points, which he failed to follow up on, preferring instead to go off on multiple tangents. Would have been better with more focus and less leftist propaganda. If you're looking for a movie of this nature, I'd recommend Loose Change over this.

Bowling for Columbine

So much in this "documentary" was either staged or completely false. In the scene where he buys a gun, the store actually DID NOT allow him to purchase the gun like he said they did. He had to get someone from his crew to buy it, then film Moore coming out of the store with it. I gave it two stars for Marilyn Manson's part, which is perhaps the only unbiased opinion in the whole movie.

Donnie Darko
Donnie Darko(2001)

I didn't find this confusing, like a lot of people seem to, so my rating has nothing to do with my taste. It's about the movie itself, which seems to be trying way too hard to be enigmatic and profound.

A Tale of Two Sisters
½

A creepy and unsettling film. My friend watching this with me said none of the events in the film would have happened if they just had the internet to keep them occupied.

The Ring
The Ring(2002)

A valiant attempt that pales in comparison to the atmosphere and strangely unsettling cinematography of the original.

Tommy
Tommy(1975)

I had an aversion to "rock operas" since first being subjected to The Wall a few years ago, but I'm glad I took the time to watch this one.

I Drink Your Blood

The story dragged at some spots, but it's quite funny and interesting, not to mention extremely GROSS! Also has Lynn Lowry in it who I think is the creepiest chick ever. Satan was an acidhead... drink from this cup!

Army of Darkness

I thought this movie was so funny. Bruce Campbell is so corny and completely over the top with his lines, but it's all so classy and somehow fitting. Hail to the King, baby!

Dead Alive
Dead Alive(1993)

So funny, and the gore looks incredibly fake but you'll still be cringing at just how much there is! It's definitely one of my favorites.

Cannibal Holocaust

Filled with nudity, gore, rape, aborted fetuses, animal cruelty, dicks getting cut off, and the same two shitty synth-based songs throughout the entire film. If that doesn't equal "classic" then I don't know what does!

Pi
Pi(1998)

Absorbing idea, interesting characters, and a great IDM soundtrack with songs from Autechre and Aphex Twin, as well as the main theme by Clint Mansell. I heard about this after watching Requiem and I am glad I took the time to watch, I enjoyed it a lot more.

American Psycho
½

It was deliciously satisfying to watch the immaculate Mr. Bateman indulge his twisted carnal and homicidal pleasures - and get away with it! Lots of dark humor thrown in, for those smart enough to catch it. Truly enjoyable.

District B13 (Banlieue 13)
½

A really exciting, fast-paced action film with lots of that crazy Parkour shit and martial arts. I want to see it again!

Crank
Crank(2006)
½

The action and fighting scenes are well-done and it's got some funny parts too.

3000 Miles to Graceland

I love Kevin Costner but at times I wasn't sure whether this movie was supposed to be serious or just funny. I thought the casting seemed off for the supporting characters and there seemed to be a large amount of over-acting (perhaps this was intentional? once again I was unsure as to the directors' intent) and I thought the script was pretty weak, especially towards the end.

ALSO, the soundtrack was noticeably bad. Film's about Elvis so I was expecting songs a little less... TECHNO-Y?! The musical choices made gunfight scenes look like some demented version of the Matrix. Probably not watching this again unless I want to just want to relive the stupidity and laugh about how much it sucked.

Rank
Rank(2006)

A gripping and intimate view at the sport as well as a completely normal but at the same time very strange portrait of America

No Telling (The Frankenstein Complex)
½

"Mad Scientist" Geoffrey struggles to keep his wife, Lillian, from finding out about his macabre experiments involving animals. Although the concept is very interesting, the acting is a little off sometimes. I didn't enjoy the film's soundtrack - it detracted from the mood of the film. Some of the camera shots were very artistic but sometimes unnecessary.

Ong-Bak (Ong Bak: Muay Thai Warrior)
½

I was Ong-Bak-ing people for weeks after I saw this movie! Mean elbow jabs!

Tomie - Re-Birth

One of the less corny movies in the Japanese horror genre. Very creepy undertones throughout the film, and I loved the characters - and what a freaky painting! A Must if you're a fan of gory Asian flicks.

Suicide Club
Suicide Club(2002)
½

The story was overly-sentimental but the movie redeemed itself with rivers of gore!

Stacy
Stacy(2001)

Wonderfully tacky, loads of gore, and it's pretty funny. I would have given a higher rating if not for the super-cheesy love story aspect of this film. Boring! More blood please!!

Dogville
Dogville(2003)

The horrible acts committed against Grace really engraged me - her calm front and quiet submission in the face of all these transgressions frustrated me immensely. You'll be thirsting for revenge!

The Work of Director Chris Cunningham

One of my favorite directors! Chock full of visually stunning and intellectually absorbing ... music videos?! Autechre, Aphex Twin, Squarepusher and Leftfield to name a few.

The Black Dahlia
½

I'm familiar with the story and was looking forward to this film, but it was quite disappointing. It had a lot of potential but the climax this film builds up to is a yawn and many cinema fans will also find the acting a bit lacking.

House of Fools
½

I just caught this film on the television for the last half or so, but I really enjoyed what I saw. Janna and her fellow fools offer a strange sort of humour that makes this "war film" a bit more human and light-hearted.

Rasputin
Rasputin(1996)

I had to watch this for a Russian history course. Though not completely accurate this is still to date the best film I've ever seen in school!

The Barbarian Invasions (Les Invasions barbares)

A very smart and insightful film! I loved the dialogue between the characters as well as the beautiful backdrop Montreal provides.

Buddy Boy
Buddy Boy(2000)
½

An interesting movie, although it doesn't make very much sense. You'll wonder what is truth and what is fiction. The characters and atmosphere are what make this really worth watching.