Ward Parry's Profile - Rotten Tomatoes

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Rating History

De Battre mon Coeur s'est Arrêté (The Beat That My Heart Skipped)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Cinematic gold. It just doesn't get any better than this. Plus, if you want to pick up chicks tell them this is your favourite film - getting the French title out of your mouth before she can stick her tongue down yours will be an accomplishment to be proud of. Soundtrack is scorching too. It's all been about Audiard since the early 2000's. If you haven't had the pleasure yet, start here before you go on to A Prophet.

John Carter
John Carter (2012)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Raucously bad. This is a turnip of such ghastly proportion that if it were lying on the floor next to me, and we were in the year 1645, it would be simply too heavy to toss at the miserable Shakesperean actor on stage. Being too dense to lift, it would remain on the ground, rotting in a fetid pool of rancidness. As much as my outburst may seem a litte much - I promise you it is well deserved. What is as implausibly awful is that this cretinous space romp has managed to woo 52% of critics and 65% of audience members. How? Did our collective senses dim in a subconsciously organized flashmob of John Carter appreciation? If so, I missed it. So the merits? Well, it is a movie. And you can watch it on your TV, if you have eyes. Though by the end you'll wish you had removed them and inserted them into your ears saving you the horror of this filth. It takes some going to find a more irritating cinematic character than Jar Jar Binks, yet John Carter manages it on at least 8 occasions.

Prometheus (2012)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Thematically, Prometheus, is a powerhouse. It's not just a powerhouse. It's Schwarzenegger pre green card powerhouse. Then again, what use are big old themes when Scott & co handle them with as much subtlety as a three month old trying to reassemble his stacking rings? I've got nothing against Damon Lindelof. Give him 119 episodes to get his point across and you're in business. Give him 119 minutes and what you get is a plethora of nearly-complete-scenes-but-not-quite whose collective sum do not give me the opportunity to state a rather worn cliche. It's bloody devastating!!! And I blame this bogus marketing campaign, maybe Alien prequel, maybe not, same universe, same DNA!! A word of advice, go into this film thinking 2001 meets Rambo 4 and you're golden. Go in thinking Alien prequel at your cinematic peril. There's no doubt it looks beautiful, but every Scott film looks like Dali. And on the plus side Marc Streitenfeld has put together a score of such malevolent and thumping awesomeness that you'll say something like "who are Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross?" But that's about it. Everything else just feels like the first thirty days of sobriety...the hype doesn't meet the reality.

The Woman in Black
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

If you're looking for tits, token black dudes dying 45 minutes in and a party lake, this isn't the horror for you. Contained, beautifully shot and just down right unnerving. This is a big thumbs up. And then there are about 45 uncensored minutes of Ciaran Hinds wonderfully bulbous Pelican's glut (double chin) to keep the middle aged divorcees tuned in.

The General's Daughter
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

After finishing Just Cause you'll be in the mood for The General's Daughter. Hewn from the same sticky sweaty southern raping narrative that seems to characterise every Grisham or not-quite-Grisham-but-not-far-off movie that came out of the late 90's, there's nothing actually wrong with it. In the same way that there's nothing actually wrong with Waterworld. Sure, Timothy Hutton is woefully mis-cast as the...oops nearly gave away the ending...and Madeline Stowe just isn't the same when she's not being yelled at to "stay alive" by native americans under waterfalls. All that said - it's impossible not to want to massage Travolta every time he's on screen. He literally devours the camera. And there's plenty of Cromwell in his go to presidential / army general / axed CEO stock for all the diehards. If you want something on whilst you're catching up on ironing, look no further.