MichelleMarieL83's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger - London, New York, Johannesburg

Chris Rock's voice can get incredibly annoying. And like a politician or a commercial, he repeats phrases until I want to yell for him to get to the point. Aside from those small negativisms, CR is hilarious. I especially appreciate that his humor is smart. Every time I hear Gwen Stefani or overhear someone mention Alpine, NJ I think of him!

Meet the Parents

Meet the Parents is a lot of fun. Sometimes there's only so much I can take of Stiller, but he's perfect in this because he and DeNiro balance each other. Not that I'm categorizing DeNiro with Stiller. Or maybe I am. :)

The Departed
The Departed(2006)

The Departed stopped me from committing suicide. Okay, that?s not true, but this is one awesome movie. There are just so many things to love about it. For those who enjoy aesthetics, you have DiCaprio and Damon glamorizing the screen. There?s a twist, some scuffles, a romance?and I?m not even talking about ballet. I rewatched this after spending a weekend in Boston ( to see Jersey Boys ? the irony!) and marveled at the sight seeing as well. You know the spiral staircase that the psychiatrist comes down? I went on a duck tour in Boston and that stairwell goes to NOWHERE and this is the psychiatric wing of the building. More irony? I?m not sure. IDK. I do know that I love this movie.

Observe and Report

I'm sorry...Observe and Report is NOT a comedy! This movie basically mocks the hell out of psychosis and it's just not humorous. Okay, I take that back. There are some very funny, even laugh-out-loud moments in O&R, but for the most part, the plot revolves around a man crumbling due to a mental disorder. That's funny? Choose a genre and stick to it. Seriously, there were times I had to shut my eyes because of the violence thrown at this man because he simply cannot grasp life by the balls. I dunno...I guess it's 3/5 because Seth Rogan does the best he can with it and as I said before, there are some giggly moments, but most of them follow a slew of F words and physical humor. Ugh...comedy?! No, not really.

Under the Same Moon

Good movie. Common story. No political agenda. Decent watch. I don't have much else to say.

Grace Is Gone

Grace is Gone is an intense movie, but it's definitely not great and probably doesn't deserve 4 stars. I'm giving is 4 stars anyway. John Cusack and the girls are very good. And the message of how one death, one sacrifice for our country, affects three people so deeply is poignant. I think many people forget about the families. How the death of a soldier is a great loss to our country...but it is also a husband living without his wife and 2 daughters now motherless.

Funny People
Funny People(2009)

There are some very funny moments in Funny People. I would rate half of this movie with 5 stars and half of it with 3 if I could. What I didn't like: 1. The movie trailer gives too much information which always bothers me. 2. There were too many plots: every main character has some kind of journey to complete so the love story intertwined with the health issues connected to the rise in career to the struggling artist in these men to the finding oneself. It's just too much. 3. Felt long. Still worth the watch though. And I'm still rooting for Adam Sandler; I just wish he'd do something that blows me away. Hmmm...which is also a message in the movie: that we expect too much from our entertainment. That's all.

My Sister's Keeper

I'm sure more of Jodi Picoult books will be made into movies now. That slit-your-wrist kind of contemporary fiction. I would imagine that mothers would have a very difficult time watching this movie, and people who are serious Picoult followers will be annoyed that the ending is butchered. (I read somewhere that Picoult says that by changing the ending, the entire message is twirked which I agree with.) All that being said, I still loved this movie. It grabbed my little, hateful heart and wouldn't let go. I thought Cameron Diaz was quite impressive and I never really think that of her. The kids are great, too. I dunno...any movie that makes you feel grateful is worth a watch.

Joe Dirt
Joe Dirt(2001)

It's what you expect it to be. Dennis Miller has some funny lines. It's tough for me to laugh at David Spade.

Bruno
Bruno(2009)

Bruno does to homosexuality what Borat did to foriegn-ality. There were moments in the theater where I screamed. Screamed. He needs to come up with more characters. I need more.

Redbelt
Redbelt(2008)

A LOT better than I expected. Some people are really disciplined, eh? Ever notice that Chiwetel or whatever is always making the same facial expression? I still like him though.

Cassandra's Dream

I keep trying with these Woody Allen movies. Maybe I'm not smart enough. Or maybe they're just not so good movies.

21
21(2008)

I particularly like any movie where people "beat the system" and even though 21 might not completely fit that genre, it comes close enough. I'm very interested in seeing the documentary that goes along with this because from what I understand, the actual story is quite different. Nonetheless, 21 is a good movie and hopefully without sounding ridiculous, good for the smarty pants people that can count cards and develop a scheming system.

Bigger, Stronger, Faster*

Dude, I learned so much from this. I had no idea I even cared about steroid use this much. I love documentaries.

Then She Found Me

I applaud Helen Hunt; good for her. A lot of people will probably relate to this because...well, everyone has a mother.

Up
Up(2009)

Such a five-star film for all ages. Pixar is amazing; 3D is the way to see it. My favorite part of the movie was wordless and once you see the movie you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Amazing. Seriously...once again you'll be crying over a cartoon.

Young@Heart
Young@Heart(2007)

Young @ Heart is great. It inspired me to volunteer for some elderly people...how adorable are they? I tried to get Gram and Gramp to watch it but all they could take was 15 minutes which I found interesting. I thought the director handled this subject with class and positive humility. I think you'll like it. It'll make you laugh!

Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian

I know, I know...very rarely is the sequel better than the first, but I loved this movie. Amy Adams was adorable, the Ben Stiller/kid from Superbad scene hilarious, and once again: getting kids interested in history is no easy feat. I took Cam to see this (11) and she goes, "Maybe we can go to Washington DC for a weekend to see the Smithsonian." Perfect...right?

Night at the Museum

Any movie that gets children interested in history has achieved a goal and done what many history teachers fail to do. Most adults can enjoy this movie, too, which I think makes a huge difference in...everything...

Rocky Balboa
Rocky Balboa(2006)

I just can't understand what he's saying 50% of the time. This isn't normal--to watch a movie where half the dialogue is poorly written and/or misunderstood by the viewer and it still gets a decent rating. I think that goes to show how much we love Rocky. I remember loving these movies as a kid, and I was pretty girly so Rocky definitely made some kind of impression on me.

The Visitor
The Visitor(2008)

The Visitor is powerful and moving, especially for anyone affected by immigration laws. I work closely with people and children who are in this country "illegally" and in turn live their lives much like the characters in this movie. What makes The Visitor so great is the immigrants are inherently good people...in a sense, "better" people than Walter before he meets them. Yet...they don't belong here...or do they? I'd love to show it to my classes if there was time to stop teaching to the test. I'm not sure they'd focus though...not "enough" going on (explosions, sex, etc.) Back to Earth: This movie will definitely start a conversation about this important topic with the people you see it with. And I'm sure that's the fim's purpose. Mission accomplished.

Traitor
Traitor(2008)

Very first blue ray experience and holy impressive! Listen, I really like this movie because it shows what a ridiculous stereotype "muslim=terrorist" is. Even though that should be common knowledge to an intelligent person, it isn't and it's important we have movies like this to show it. Don Cheadle is always impressive so nothing new there. A good movie and an important message; will get you talking.

Ghost Town
Ghost Town(2008)

Ghost Town is such a likeable, light-hearted movie. I anticipated it being very "Ghost"-ish but no, no...much more airy than that. There are even some surprising twisty moments. Or maybe I wasn't at my brightest? Plus, and I didn't even know this, "The Heart of Life" plays during the credits.

Sixteen Candles

I especially liked this movie when I was too young to be watching it: talk about sex, a little nudity, the "F" word. I'm actually pretty shocked this movie is PG. Whether you condone foul language or not, Sixteen Candles will make you laugh, even if you hated your high school years. Plus, it has that tenderness factor which gives it a one-up on movies like Fast Times. We all had a Jake Ryan. The only thing that sucks about Sixteen Candles is it might give young girls the false hope that this kind of stuff actually happens!

Iron Man
Iron Man(2008)

I didn't even think I would LIKE this movie, nevermind REALLY LIKE it. Iron Man is not just for comic book geeks or men who are still little boys at heart. This is a good movie. Seriously. Gwyneth wouldn't pick a dud. Aside from that, the storyline is interesting and the dialogue is funny (corny too, but more funny). RDJr. better kick that bad habit because he's totally climbing up there as one of my fave's.

The Holiday
The Holiday(2006)

Kate Winslet usually makes decent choices. The Holiday is cute enough, but seems long and tries way too hard to be funny. There is a 5 star scene with Cameron Diaz's character in a tent with Jude law and 2 little girls. The girls steal it, of course. And Iris (Winslet) on the airplane...5 star scene. The rest is kind of trite. Well, the whole befriending an old guy is kind of cute. Nevermind...in what world does a Jack Black get a Kate Winslet. I hate that.

The Soloist
The Soloist(2009)

People Who Will Give This Movie 2 Stars or Less are People Who Say the Following:
1. "I hate people with mental illnesses. It's their fault they're like that anyway."
2. "I hate the homeless. People should never be nice to them."
3. "I hate Robert Downey Jr. and/or Jamie Foxx."
4. "I hate music, especially Beethoven."
5. "I have no soul, no friends, and I'm a DB."

If you can't repeat any of the above statements, you should watch this movie because you'll probably (at least) like it.

Baby Mama
Baby Mama(2008)

Baby Mama tries really hard but that doesn't always equal success. Certainly won't turn Tina Fey into a movie star but she's doing well so that's moot. A few funnies. Maybe a tear.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

Almost ridiculously fantastical but I found it so, so charming. There's some excellent conversation starters in Emporium like bullying, death, and friendship so parents should watch this with their kids and then you know, have that conversation.

The Truth About Cats & Dogs

I think I would have "really liked" this movie if Garafolo (sp) was less attractive and Thurman was more attractive. And that's supposed to be the point of the movie--how important is pretty? Dumb is forever, blah blah blah. But the movie paints a bigger picture than that because from the very beginning men are ignoring Garafolo to an extreme and she's at least cute...a smart, funny, cute woman doesn't get ignored like that. We've certainly seen this storyline numerous times, but if they want it done right, the woman can't be even a little cute; she has to be borderline horrendous.

Auf der Anderen Seite (The Edge of Heaven) (On the Other Side)

I feel like whenever I watch a foreign film I learn more in 2 hours than I learned in actual history courses. The Edge of Heaven is what Babel tried really hard to be (although I really liked Babel...may have loved it...don't remember) except Heaven is less pretentious and not at all concerned with a clever twist or pushing an explanation. In fact, there are major plot points of this movie that are never explained but it doesn't matter. Generational gaps, poverty vs. wealth, government power...there are 6 or so characters all interwoven whose lives are greatly affected by each other. They're not perfect, but you'll still like them.

Man on Wire
Man on Wire(2008)

This guy is so passionate. It's invigorating watching this man fall in love with two towers, set a goal that seems foolish, and then DO IT. I really needed to watch this. You should watch it if you feel a little "blah" with your life; it will refresh you. Definitely watch the bonus feature interview b/c he explains the mystery of his friendships and how the director of the documentary may have falsely led people to believe he was a dik. He doesn't actually say dik.

Knocked Up
Knocked Up(2007)

Knocked Up is a perfect summer hit movie and that's why it did so well. It's not perfect...the drug reference jokes get old really fast and a lot of it is so cliche and expected. It still works though. I like the Paul Rudd/His Wife storyline better than the leading two, however.

I Love You, Man

Eh. When I left the theater I thought there were a few really funny scenes, but now I can't remember any of them. People seem to love this movie though especially the critics, huh? It's a nice enough movie, but it bothers me when average (or even slightly average) media is overrated b/c then expectations will continue to get lowered and crappy movies will continue to get made. It's like fluctuating grades in schools. Digressing, I swear to Candy Land that Paul Rudd is getting younger and better looking with time. Anyway, worth the rent but not the drive.

A Very Long Engagement

So delightful. And WTF? Is there anything Jodi Foster can't do? She can speak Chicken Franchaise like that?!

Sherrybaby
Sherrybaby(2006)

This is a movie about an unperfect, real woman who makes poor decisions. You'll love her anyway. She's so unperfect that her breasts flop all over the place and are saggy even though she's young. Once again, you'll root for her anyway.

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days

Subtitles aren't that bad; you'll get used to them, I promise. See it and then email me b/c we have to talk about the twist, if there is one, and which one of you will drive me to the clinic should this happen to me.

12 Rounds
12 Rounds(2009)

12 Rounds Stew: Take Saw I-V, Speed, a pretty bad script, even worse acting and mix them together with some explosions. Believe it or not, what you get is still enjoyable if you expect stew and not filet mignon.

Tropic Thunder

Really? Two people whose opinion I ridiculously value said I would see this movie and love it. I didn't love it. Tropic Thunder is like mediocre sex: great in the beginning, boring in the middle and an okay finish. The faux previews are really funny though.

Burn After Reading

Some of this sucked. Some of it was laugh-out-loud funny. Not impressed. Did you guys know that Mrs. Shields and Frances McDormand were college roommates? I wonder if Mrs. Shields ever feels...slighted. I wish there was an "It was okay" star.

Slumdog Millionaire

It's been awhile since I have seen a true 5 Star film. We rate these movies and say we love them, but I think we're a little lenient on the rating scale. Maybe we're feeling lovey-dovey and see a lovey-dovey movie so it's a 5-star. Or feeling violent, depressed, goofy, appreciative of your best friend, close to your family, etc. and you see a movie that reflects that feeling so you think it's a lot better than it probably is. Slumdog Millionaire is a true 5 star film. Everything you look for when you go on a cinematic adventure is in this movie: destiny, love, comedy, action, heart-wrench, history...the list goes on. As an English teacher, I can especially appreciate how thematic SM is and how the questions from the show become a flashback taking us on an unforgettable journey through the narrator's memory. Holy crap, that sounds so corny! I really mean it though; Slumdog Millionaire is the kind of movie that can change your life. It can make you a little more tolerant of a sibling, more likely to believe in destiny and that romantic love that will make you feel, make you more educated on poverty and why people living in it go to extremes?okay, this could go on for awhile; this movie will make you more human. You have to see it.

The Dark Knight

I must say I was surprised that I didn?t notice it was over two and a half hours. Why does Christian Bale talk like that when he's Batman? His speech impediment is obvious when he?s both Batman and Bruce Wayne so why even bother with that smoker?s voice? It?s weird. Heath Ledger was very entertaining, but I?ll never be a fan of this stuff. I couldn?t even look at Two-Face for very long.

The Firm
The Firm(1993)

I expected this to be much better, not sure why. It's really long and would be much better if a good 45 minutes were cut and thrown in the hamper. Is it necessary to be so long because John Grisham's books are so long? No. Anyway, it's interesting to see a movie made when Tom Cruise was normal.

Blue Streak
Blue Streak(1999)

If you go into this expecting a film starring Martin Lawrence, and your expectations are just that, you won?t be disappointed. Of course it?s goofy, of course it?s stupid, and of course the writing is awful. But it?s free on demand right now, so go for it.

Coach Carter
Coach Carter(2005)

These movies will always get me. Coach Carter is yet another true inspiring story where one person changes many lives. Very moving and powerful, has a strong message about public education in urban areas, and is a great movie to show student athletes. Also, basketball is my least favorite sport to watch yet I was at the edge of the couch watching the games. Very exciting.

Manhattan Murder Mystery

I have to preface this by saying I watched this already a little annoyed which was a bad idea since Woody Allen and his little trio and all that whining and breathless dialogue is pretty much a loaded gun for someone suicidal. Nonetheless, I kinda liked it...just glad I didn't spend money to see it or waste a queue spot.

Freedom Writers

There is one small thing I don't like about Freedom Writers. Why is Dr. McAwkward on the cover? He is such a small part of this movie and it disturbs me (enter studio name which I don't feel like looking up) felt the need to market him. Now for the good stuff. I just love when the movie is basically symmetrical to the book (or in this case, true story I guess? Since the story came first? Oh boy.) Erin Gruwell's teacher tale is so inspiring, and not just for teachers either. For anyone who has any kind of contact with teenagers, especially in less than desirable areas. I admire how much hope she has given these kids. What a heartwarming story; if you don't watch this and love how ordinary people can make a difference, you're a nimrod. Awesome bonus features too, including interviews with the real teacher.

The Long Kiss Goodnight

I dunno...maybe it's just too corny yet takes itself seriously. I watched it while I played around on the Internet in the wee hours of the am b/c it was a free On Demand movie. These are pretty much the only circumstances in which you watch this movie.

WALL-E
WALL-E(2008)

Wall-E 2
I did not like this movie. It actually kinda blew. If you watch it and you like it, there?s something wrong with you. Oh, stop it I?m just kidding. Insult you? I would never. You just have poor taste in movies and would say Bio-dome was clever. Once again, I?m playing. It?s just that Wall-E was over-rated. The animation was impressive but I wish I was inebriated?when I watched this flick b/c my time should be worthwhile. Not watching a futuristic pixar show that was boring and lacked style. Don?t say I didn?t ?get it? or overlooked the message. Our selfish population destroys earth then robots clean the wreckage. We?re all fat and lazy and our land will suffer this folly. I still stand by my opinion that I definitely don?t like Wall-E. I didn?t do schoolwork, the yearbook, or anything productive with my time. So I procrastinated by writing a Netflix rhyme.

In the Company of Men

I saw ?Reasons to be Pretty? last week and was so impressed I had to watch a Neil LaBute movie. About the play: I do have an important question. I always assumed most men would be far too either: protective, egotistical or delusional to admit, especially to another guy, that their girlfriend is not that attractive. No? Anyway, In the Company of Men is a little far-fetched to be believable (are people really THAT horrible? On purpose?! And the same woman that would consider going on a second date with Aaron Eckhart?s character would more than likely not go on a second date with the other, nerdy, insecure dude) but I really liked it anyway. The plot alone: two men with a plan to break some unsuspecting vulnerable woman to prove to themselves that men rule. Anyone who simply thinks that up is a genius. I?m not saying it?s CORRECT, but it?s still smart. It?s like saying things aloud you would never tell a soul for fear of being immediately committed.

The Reader
The Reader(2008)

Wow. This movie 100% messed with my mind. Who woulda thunk someone like Hanna (Kate Winslet) could be sympathized with? ?We were just taking orders. What would you have done?? I probably would have done the same thing! Am I thinking about this too simply? If our superintendent got on the intercom and said, ?Teachers, this is a Code D (no such thing, btw). Immediately exit your classrooms, lock the door and take 10 students with you outdoors to the front of the building.? Say I called the office and Mr. Shields is like, ?Yes, do exactly as you?re told.? I would probably follow directions. So then we get outside and the building is blown into smithereens. (<--is that a real word? Apparently so!) Maybe they explain it by saying, ?Well, we didn?t know how to deal with this overpopulation crisis.? I still aided in killing 15 people, right? But I was just following orders by a superior. Isn?t that the same thing? See, this movie is intensely awesome. I do strongly dislike that Kate Winslet?s character has an affair with a teenager, however. I just don?t see why a sexual relationship like that was necessary. Maybe to make her even that much more difficult to relate to? You have to see this movie so you too, can over-think these things. And Kate Winslet is stunning.

The Lookout
The Lookout(2007)

I don?t know why I really like this movie. Because it handles something like a brain injury really well? I?m not even sure what that means. It handled a brain injury WELL? How do you handle one poorly? Make fun of the victim? Anyway, I don?t want to say too much because I apparently cannot articulate but I will say this: If you?re looking for a fairy tale where the handsome jock with the brain injury gets all better and lives happily ever after, rent something else.

In Bruges
In Bruges(2008)

Firstly, I hate saying this because I really hate anything anti-America, but why aren?t our movies as well written? The dialogue in this movie is great. In Bruges has everything for the most part: humor, gorgeous scenery, heartbreak, friendship, redemption?it even has a MIDGET! I especially like it because it shows how even ?bad? men have feelings and morals. (Okay, I know we were supposed to get that from the Sopranos, but In Bruges is not nearly as violent yet is just as personal which I like.) Great one?check it out, yo.

Leatherheads
Leatherheads(2008)

Wayyyyyy too corny for me. The jokes were corny, the storyline, the characters. I?m usually a fan of corn, so for something to be too corny for ME? The Leatherheads plot is good, and the picture looks really pretty, but when you include the words?blah. There was a scene filmed at Max?s Diner in Harrison, where George and Renee eat dinner.

Inside Man
Inside Man(2006)

Denzel didn?t make this movie for me. He?s good, but he?s always good and his character doesn?t go through any kind of major transformation. It?s certainly not the acting of the rest of the excellent cast (Owen, Foster, Dafoe, Plummer) that makes Inside Man a 5-star movie for me either. It?s the heist! Holy exciting! Now I know what Dane Cook is talking about. Excellent, excellent movie as far as thrilling, fast paced action movies go. You probably won?t care much about the characters, but I think you?ll like the ride.

The Terminal
The Terminal(2004)

Even though my emotions couldn?t pick a choice between loving this movie because it made me laugh until it hurt or loving it because it made me cry like a pansy, The Terminal rules. Tom Hanks is just adorable, isn?t he? I?d like to watch him play a bad guy just to see if America could dislike his character. I doubt it. Has Tom Hanks ever played someone evil? Wow, I don?t think so. Anyway, I loved The Terminal and watched it in a vehicle on my lap top. I think that?s quiet telling.

Breach
Breach(2007)

Hey, this is a really good movie. Not your typical FBI thriller; if you want a movie with lots of explosions, watch something with Denzel, not this. Breach is a true story. The DVD includes an intriguing Dateline special about the actual Robert Hanssen. Chris Cooper plays a creep really well, and although Laura Linney always impresses me, she usually impresses me as the quirky nut, not a pushy FBI agent. Good one.

Four Rooms
Four Rooms(1996)

Close 4. If you like quirky movies, you'll really like this. I'd rate the room with Madonna a 2, but the one with the kids and Antonio Banderas is definitely a 5. Definite laugh-out-loud moments and a few "huh?" moments to cancel out the LOL's. Huh? I'll tell ya this though. Since I've seen this movie, I can't sleep on a hotel bed without thinking there might be a dead hooker in the mattress.

Man on Fire
Man on Fire(2004)

Probably the best revenge movie of all time. I understand that Dakota Fanning might be annoying to some people, but if she annoys you in this film, you are a ruthless piece of crap. Denzel delivers as usual. I dunno, maybe I was feeling overly sappy at the viewing, but this movie really grabs at your soul and twists it until it bleeds.

Déjà Vu
Déjà Vu(2006)

Listen, I loved this movie, but the name isn?t fitting since it?s not really about Déjà vu. The story is thrilling. From the very first scene until the last, entertainment and action screams at you like a typical Scott or Bruckheimer movie but it?s not a typical action movie. I cared about these people, wasn?t just impressed by the explosions. Denzel Washington always impresses me, even if he plays the same character in many of his movies. He plays ?him? well and I?ll keep watching!

Ray
Ray(2004)

I have no idea why it took me so long to see this movie; I am ridiculously impressed by Jamie Foxx and the story of Ray Charles. It makes an excellent film?and then you realize it?s a true story and you?ll be even more touched.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

I liked it. You know?more or less eye candy. Nothing special. Worth the rent if you want to see the movie that brought Brad together with that idiot.

One True Thing

Okay, a lot of people might find this movie too long, or even boring, but those people have rocks for hearts. This is the rare instance where the movie is just as good as the book and the characters are as real as your neighbors when no one is watching. Renee Zellweger plays Ellen, a twenty-something New Yorker who moves back home to take care of her sick mother. She is very convincing as the angry daughter who would rather eat poop than become her mother, and although she seems cruel at times, you can still relate to her and understand what she?s going through. I just love this movie; there?s a scene b/n Ellen and Kate (her mom, Streep) where Kate pours her heart out to her daughter and it?s probably the best scene in a ?real? movie that I have ever seen. It really captures the strength of a mother.

Marvin's Room

Not an ?entertaining? movie per se, but it?s still great. A serious movie with some comic relief and a few heart-wrenching scenes (The two sisters are picking up a bunch of pills that fall all over the place and Bessie (Diane Keaton) explains the love she?s had in her life, but not conventional love; it?s so nice). Some people might find Marvin?s Room a little boring, but those people are stupid. A real character-driven movie about family. And Meryl Streep really looks like she could be Leonardo DiCaprio?s mother, don?t you think?

The Goonies
The Goonies(1985)

I showed this movie to a bunch of idiot thugs and they loved it. If that doesn?t show that this is a timeless movie, I don?t know what would. Even though some of the writing is pretty bad (Has Steven Spielberg ever written anything worth its weight in Oscars?) the overall movie is just fanfuckingtastic. Especially Chunk.

Righteous Kill

I?m supposed to love this movie, right? I mean?DeNiro and Pacino are in it! It?s okay?not nearly as good as other psychological thrillers (Was it just me, or did this movie rip off Copycat in a lot of ways?). And do we really need to see DeNiro or Pacino in any kind of sex scene? Was that a necessary part of either character? No, no, no. Watchable, but will not meet your expectations.

Step Brothers

Hmmm?I wasn?t nearly as impressed as I thought I?d be. The whole balls on the drums bit was hilarious and there are a few other noteworthy laugh-out-loud scenes. The premise is funny; I just get tired of Will Ferrell long before a movie is over. He?s a Saturday Night Live skit long enough to love. Any longer than that, he?s the overnight guest that should have left after dinner.

Revolutionary Road

I might give the movie a high 3 stars, but the performances get a 5. I?m not sure if there are better actors in their generation. Revolutionary Road is an extremely intense movie and I almost felt uncomfortable while watching it, like I was at a friend?s house while her parents were arguing. It?s a real movie?it says a lot of things most people are too afraid to admit they would even think?and might be a little much for people who feel stuck in relationships. Since that?s basically everyone, I?ll bet a lot of viewers won?t like this.

The Shawshank Redemption

One of my all-time favorites. It?s interesting; most of my favorite movies are based on male friendship (like Good Will Hunting). Unforgettable characters.

The Last King of Scotland

This movie is based on actual events, but you should know beforehand that the character of Dr. Nicholas Garrigan doesn?t exist; it?s historical fiction, based on the novel (which is also good). It?s an excellent movie and will have you thinking about Amin, Uganda, and humanity for days. Not for people with weak tummies.

GoodFellas
GoodFellas(1990)

It?s true-I really haven?t seen this movie until now. (Gramp is like, ?What kind of Italian are you?? heh.) It is the perfect gangster movie and has all the components viewers seek when they want to get lost in a mob story. And it?s based on a REAL guy so that makes it all the more interesting. I have to go though?time to google Henry Hill.

The Good Shepherd

As long as you are aware The Good Shepherd is long and a little slow, you?ll really like it. I was warned beforehand which helped, I think. It?s also not flashy and action packed like other CIA movies of today (The Bournes) which is probably why this movie is rated poorly on Netflixx. It?s very good; don?t listen to these people. Character driven AND educational.

Munich
Munich(2005)

I couldn't finish this movie. Maybe because I'm in a good mood. I found "Munich" far too depressing and violent. I'm sure it's an important movie to watch, however.

Above the Rim

I didn't like this movie which surprised me because I enjoy many an urban film. Just too poorly written and boring.

A Bronx Tale
A Bronx Tale(1993)

Ah, a must-see. DeNiro's directorial debut. Not violent like a typical "mob story" -- more emotional and real than that. Shows humor, controversy, family turmoil, love, father/son dynamic. Very good movie.

The Constant Gardener

Very moving. About 30 minutes in, I thought, "Oh good! Another political agenda film!" but The Constant Gardener is better than that. It's a love story, an infomercial, a mystery and I can't think of what else to write.

Babel
Babel(2006)

Who knows why it took me so long to see this movie, but it's excellent. Very "Crash"-ish and thought-provoking. I read a few reviews where the critic complains the stories told are not linked well. Listen, it's a bleeping MOVIE! I recently saw Benjamin Button and Kara's like, "I hate movies that aren't believable." It's about a man who ages backwards, of course it's not believable. Anyway, part of the reason Babel is so good: you think about it after the movie is over. Even if for only 10 minutes...it'll linger in your little heart. I really love Cate Blanchett. And Brad Pitt truly is more than just a pretty face.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

It's very difficult for me to sit for three hours and watch a movie; the movie is too long. You have to watch it though, and I do think it's worth the time: the performances are excellent, the story is intriguing, and the make-up (special effects?) is outstanding. Only with two people as beautiful as Cate and Brad can you go through 50+ years of life and result in a flawless outcome. Lots of comic relief throughout which I especially liked and it's not overly sappy which I expected. Awards, awards.

Beer League
Beer League(2006)

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I really liked Beer League. The old guy that spews off F words like missing teeth? I love him. The plot is pretty bad and ridiculously predictable, but the Karate Kid is in this movie AND the chick that Christopher knocked up in the Sopranos. C'mon now. If you don't expect an award winner and get a little buzzed before and during, I think you'll like this.

Seven Pounds
Seven Pounds(2008)

Netflix kind of ruined this movie for me because I?m convinced they are way too revealing in the synopsis. The less you know about this film, the better, so if you want to see it stop reading about it. It?s not a Christmas-y feeler, so if you?re looking for ?A Christmas Story? you definitely won?t find it with ?Seven Pounds.? It?s very difficult to talk about this movie without discussing the plot. Just be aware it?s dark. Although there?s a certain level of unconditional kindness throughout, it comes with pain. That probably doesn?t make sense. See the movie, bring a box of tissues, marvel at Will Smith?s talent to be real, expect it to be somewhat slow-moving, and contemplate if you?re doing any good with your life.

Bill Burr: Why Do I Do This

Has a bit on overpopulation and crazy people that made tears fall from my eyes. Only problem is he laughs at himself. I hate that.

88 Minutes
88 Minutes(2008)

I don't know why this movie got so much crap. It's not Pacino's finest but definitely worth a rent.

Spaceballs
Spaceballs(1987)

Classic. Doesn't matter how much time goes by. This movie always makes me laugh.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Typical Kevin Smith: majorly raunchy with a pinch of sweet. Definitely not my favorite Smith film, but if you're a fan you won't be disappointed. I just found it predictable and a little far-fetched. Still hilarious.

Disaster Movie

Please don't watch this movie. You will lose brain cells if you do. And you really can't afford that. Two reasons why it gets 2 stars instead of 1: I find it funny when movies don't disguise they're using stunt doubles. And Vanessa Minnillo stars in a movie that spoofs Jessica Simpson. It must've been awkward for Nick.

Twilight
Twilight(2008)

There is no way Bella and Edward's intense love could be accurately portrayed in a movie. It's impossible and that's why people are still reading books. If you don't expect that, you'll love the movie too.

The Most Dangerous Game

Aside from the 10 minute Simpsons short from the Treehouse of Horror vol 999, why hasn?t there been an attempt to remake this? Am I missing something? I showed my class the last 10 minutes (the chase) and they found it quite comical. Know what I found comical? All the references to Rainsford?s wife on the OE!

Charlie Wilson's War

Tom Hanks is amazing. I just can't stomach Hoffman...even in a movie that I find important to watch, like this one--a historical piece that brings to life a man's involvement with Afghanistan many moons ago and how this affects our involvement with the middle east now. I just hate Hoffman.

Flirting With Disaster

The jokes are really corny but it?s watchable. Just not one of Ben Stiller?s best.

I Am Sam
I Am Sam(2001)

I don?t care what people say about ?normal? actors playing ?special? people; this movie, especially Sean Penn, was amazing. Michelle Pfeiffer and Dakota Fanning were perfect. If this movie doesn?t grab your heart and squeeze it and make you want to run out and be a better person you should follow the yellow brick road to ask the Wizard for one. Keep a box of tissues by you. Oh, Beatles followers will probably love this too, even if you don?t like sappy movies. I loved it, loved it, loved it. The acting, the story, the music. All of it.

Cellular
Cellular(2004)

The acting isn?t much to write home about, the plot is somewhat predictable and Kim Basinger is in it, but I actually really liked this movie. It?s not worth 4 stars, but it?s surprisingly entertaining and a little suspenseful. Some funny moments even and Chris Evans is pretty hot.

Forever Mine
Forever Mine(1999)

Too long and predictable, drifted off during the middle, woke about 30 minutes later and could still finish the movie. Men who like Gretchen Mol will enjoy her nakedness.

The Hottest State

Okay the people that are rating this poorly are WRONG. LISTEN TO ME. If you do not like talky movies where nothing blows up or sinks, you?re going to hate this so don?t bother. Otherwise, Ethan Hawke does an awesome job telling a story about two young people in a young relationship (and I?m not particularly fond of Hawke, btw, so it?s not one of those reviews). OMG, it portrays obsessive, new love perfectly and shows that just because a relationship doesn?t last doesn?t mean it is wrong and should never have happened. (I?m not giving anything away?the first line of the movie tells the viewer this relationship will break his heart.) If anything, watch this movie for Laura Linney who is always so perfect glitter should shoot from the screen when she?s on it. I dunno?I really liked it. Loved it. Five stars?totally. And the music: 5 glittery stars.

I Know Who Killed Me

I had to see this movie simply to see whether or not it?s as bad as everyone says it is. It is. It cannot be hated, however, just disliked for all the ?bad? ? the long shots of Ho-han swinging from a pole, the Turista rip-off (which wasn?t even a good movie; if you?re going to copy, copy from the A+ kid)?even the music is bad. It reminded me of Level 1-4 of Super Mario Bros. when Mario fights the turtle guy in the castle. It?s so bad it?s entertaining which is why you can?t give this 1 star.

No End in Sight

Hmmm?nothing spectacular and nothing you more than likely didn?t already know, just more detailed. Informative enough.

There Will Be Blood

Yes, DDL?s performance was amazing. (But I think Paul Dano was underrated in this film, big time.) Yes, it looks good?I?m sure that has something to do with cinematography or whatever. But, really, did it HAVE to be this long? I was a little bored at points. If it weren?t for DDL, the scenes b/n him and HW, and the end (which I thought was clever, but it seems to get bashed around here), I would have rated it 2 stars.

Matilda
Matilda(1996)

So cute. This little actress is adorable and actually really good, not annoying like most child actors. Principal Trunchbull could be scary for children, however, and watching this movie should follow a discussion about how school really isn?t like this. Then again, if your child believes this sort of thing could happen, he or she needs a little more than a discussion. I enjoy movies that can be fun for kids and adults.

Dirty Dancing

Corny? Yes, but classic. You can?t hear Johnny Castle proclaim that ?No one puts Baby in the corner? without reminiscing your youth if you?re an 80?s child. I wasn?t allowed to watch this movie as a kid which made it even more appealing. Watching it as an adult was surreal?I had no IDEA that chick had an ABORTION! Blasphemy!

The Savages
The Savages(2007)

Laura Linney does such an awesome job of playing borderline lunatics. My disdain for Hoffman didn?t even steer me away from liking this movie. It?s a great character driven drama and if you like movies that really capture a character and delve deep into the reasons behind behaviors, you?ll enjoy this.

Atonement
Atonement(2007)

I really didn?t like the book. It?s boring, pretentious and slow?I don?t care what everyone else thinks?it blew. The movie, however, is beautiful. Has a gorgeous look, the actors are pretty and it tells a very good, interesting story. I wrote a long, strongly worded email to Ian McKeon (sp) explaining my feelings but he never responded.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

Some funny moments, but I really liked Walk the Line which Dewey Cox mocks (hey, that rhymed!). Not a total waste of time.

Stand by Me
Stand by Me(1986)

One of my all time favorite movie quotes are from this movie: ?I?ve never had friends like I did when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?? This movie is about coming of age and friendship ? all wrapped into a summer that changes your life (Similar to Now and Then which could be considered the girl version of Stand by Me. The young actors are great and while there are some funny moments, there are also endearing ones.

My Best Friend's Wedding

Okay, I really liked this! It?s a romantic comedy classic--a girly movie you must watch with your friends.

Eddie Murphy Raw

Woah, I had no idea the Nutty Professor was so hilarious! From relationships to money to gender and race, he absolutely delivers the laughs. Many laugh-out-loud moments.

I Am Legend
I Am Legend(2007)

From what I understand, if you read the book, you hated the movie. I didn?t read the book and thought the movie was great. It?s suspenseful, Will Smith is amazing, and a LOT better than I expected.

P.S. I Love You

Total chick flick. If you see this with a dude, he may kill you. However, what a perfect movie to watch with your girlfriends and cry like a baby. I watched it with 3 weepy females and we liked it much, even though it?s kind of hard for me to watch Hilary Swank in a romantic comedy lead without thinking of her as Brandon Teena. Reminded me of The Time Traveler?s Wife a tad.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

It was difficult for me to watch this movie?but you should see it, because there?s really nothing like it out there. Just don?t watch it while listening in English and watching the English subtitles because they don?t completely match up and it?s distracting?do one or the other.

Premonition
Premonition(2007)

Woah, I really liked this movie. I thought it was suspenseful, thrilling and made a good point about fate, what?s important in life, and free will. Everyone else is wrong.

8 Mile
8 Mile(2002)

Regardless of what you think about Marshall Mathers, this is a great movie. The rap battles are awesome. I?ve seen them before on that stupid show on MTV (I don?t remember the name of it) and I was unimpressed; it shows that no one rhymes quite like Eminem. The story is good too?you know, a coming-of-age root for the underdog kind of thing. Even people who aren?t into rap would like this movie. My GRANDFATHER liked it.

Catch and Release

Sheesh, I just had to google the title because I thought it was Capture and Release. When I finally found this movie on Netflix, I glanced at the reviews?netflix people were particularly harsh with it. It wasn?t THAT bad. It wasn?t great either, but there?s so much more to hate. Some of the writing is funny?and Kevin Smith is the movie?s gem with his 37 jackets and ?sirs.? The mushy parts are just too mushy (and I like mush, so for me to say that, it?s got to be pathetic) and the entire thing gets predictable and tedious after the first half hour. But it?s not deserving of the wrath spewed at it from these Netflix people.

Georgia Rule
Georgia Rule(2007)

Something like molestation and rape has to be handled carefully to be in a movie. This one just doesn?t do it. It isn?t even Lindsay Ho-han?s fault because I actually think she?s pretty good in this and holds her own. There are a few memorable moments (both comedic and both from her), but the movie as a whole is uncomfortable.

We Are Marshall

A man who is from the town where I grew up and a distant relative was on the flight that killed the Marshall team so I was interested in seeing this. Even aside from it having a personal connection, We Are Marshall is a good movie. It being a true story just makes it all the more real and captivating. Actually, I would give it 5 stars, but some of it drags.

Gabriel Iglesias: Hot and Fluffy

Just some guy that makes fun of himself for being overweight and Hispanic. Whoopdy-doo.

My Kid Could Paint That

The description of this documentary doesn?t really capture what the whole thing is about. A four-year old is creating paintings that are selling for thousands of dollars; art critics fawn over her and she gets tons of exposure. The problem is people are questioning whether or not the paintings are being done by her, or with her father?s help. The documentary basically asks the viewer to decide. It?s really good?the director captures great moments. And Marla is absolutely adorable.

Right at Your Door

The beginning and the end of this movie were great. The middle sukked. If this movie were 30 minutes, it?d be great, but the middle drags on something horrible.

Margaret Cho: Assassin

I don?t find Margaret Cho funny. She doesn?t make me laugh or giggle or even smile or smirk, but she?s interesting to listen to because she is opinionated on social events and public figures. I know most comedians comment on this stuff, but there?s something different about her. She?s smarter or something, more informed. Other comedians make fun of public figures for obvious reasons?she has a different spin on it. Or something.

Richard Pryor Here and Now

When I was a kid, one of my favorite movies was See No Evil, Hear No Evil with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. I probably watched it 500 times as a ten year old because I thought Richard Pryor was just so effin funny. This was kind of disappointing! I almost gave it 2 stars, but I couldn?t give Wally 2 stars. Maybe my adult humor is different than my ten year-old humor, or maybe the loaded Pryor is much funnier than the sober one.

Hairspray
Hairspray(2007)

There?s just something about this movie that I really like. Maybe it?s Zac Efron. No, Hairspray is adorable and just a lot of fun. The singing and dancing make me happy and the silly little message that fat people count too is cute. I?m kidding?Hairspray is so very cute and I think if you watch it, it will put you in a good mood. There?s just something a little strange about a dress-wearing John Travolta and Christopher Walken singing and dancing a love melody, but you can get over that quickly.

Lions for Lambs

This is an excellent movie. I understand that people have some reservations for flicks about the Middle East so they?re being bashed by the public for the most part, but I?ve seen quite a few recently (In the Valley of Elah, Stop-Loss, The Kingdom) and Lions for Lambs is best. It?s fast paced?three separate stories are being told that greatly affect each other?and even though there?s a political agenda, it?s not really being slapped in your face. Very important message?and great characters. Seriously.

You Don't Mess With the Zohan

Adam Sandler?s loyal followers will probably really like this movie. There are a select few laugh-out-loud parts, but the movie as a whole felt really long, especially when you realize where it?s going within five minutes of it. It?s just not right to see Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life in lingerie. I dunno?Sandler is in his 40?s now?he should find what works for him. This isn?t it. It?s not a total waste of time: Mariah Carey makes fun of herself.

The Nines
The Nines(2007)

MAYBE a 3 because the performances were good and I like a full circle ending, but this movie doesn?t really work for me. Or maybe I don?t work for it. Either way, the ?unreligious? will think it has too much of a spiritual undertone, the religious will be offended by the F word, it?s too much to connect and intertwine for kids, and the older kids will wait impatiently for the sex and nudity that never comes.

Bella (Beauty)

We need more movies like this. It?s a low budget indie so if you?re looking for sinking ships, green monsters, and cars that transform into robots, skip this movie. If you think you can focus your attention on people and feelings for more than ten minutes, you?ll like this movie. It?s simply a good story about the goodness of people and how small acts of kindness transform lives.

Mad Money
Mad Money(2008)

I?m curious why Diane Keaton takes roles like this and Because I Said So. Are there no decent choices for middle-aged women? That?s kind of sad because this movie was pretty bad.

Harry and the Hendersons

I almost hated this movie, but the effects of the big hairy thing are pretty good. It?s just boring, really. The child that I watched it with fell asleep?I?m unsure who this movie was made for because it?s not really a child?s movie considering there?s more than a few swear words spewed.

The War of the Roses

Very long. Ninety minutes is a sufficient amount of time for a movie--it took over 30 minutes for these two to even start arguing when the title is the WAR of the Roses. The acting is really good and the lengths that both husband and wife go to?very original and dark.

Joe Rogan Live

Some of the jokes and stories are pretty funny, but he SCREAMS into the microphone which is really irritating. Has a great bit on why Bush was elected and how to take over the Middle East. The rest is so-so.

Bio-Dome
Bio-Dome(1996)

Wow. Was Paully Shore EVER cool? I lost brain cells when I watched this movie. I don?t see who it was created for?who is its target audience? Retards? Unemployed stoners? Paully Shore?s relatives and close friends? What a waste.

We Own the Night

This movie should have been better. Exciting plot, good cast, decent writing. There were some parts of the movie (particularly 2) that I would have rated 5 stars if it kept continuing that way. Maybe this doesn?t make sense. It just didn?t come together well or something. I don?t know what I?m trying to say. Watch it if you want, but if you don?t you?re not missing much.

The Simpsons Movie

The best thing about The Simpsons is the older and smarter I get, the more I catch the references and how brilliant the writing is. The movie: Some really funny parts, but the show is much better. It?d be funnier if they made an R-rated version, or something completely over the top, rather than basically a long episode which wasn?t, in my opinion, the best storyline. There are many episodes which were better and more interesting.

Sex and the City

S&TC won?t disappoint series followers, but it?s nothing to rave about either. The series was much better; the movie is just too long. When these women are on the screen for that long Carrie?s one-liners get annoying, Charlotte?s goodness unrealistic, Samantha is overbearing, and Miranda is just ugly. I?m glad they made a movie. It was neat to see them on the big screen and I really like Fergie?s song. See it for the fashion and the glamour and the girls night out that should follow, not for the storyline or you?ll be disappointed.

Elizabeth
Elizabeth(1998)

Beautiful film. I?m told this movie is not historically accurate, but I refuse to believe it happened any other way because the story is fascinating. We think of Elizabeth I as a monarch?this movie shows the Elizabeth pre-Queen and early Queen before she made herself look like an albino. (Which I really don?t understand, btw?) I vaguely remember learning about this time period in school and it seemed drab which is why, even though people are saying it?s false, I refuse to believe the love lost, the betrayal and the rise of such an icon had to have happened just this way; it?s what makes the movie fascinating. She was 25 years-old when she took the throne. Twenty-five year old women today can barely take care of themselves (myself included), nevermind run a country!

Napoleon Dynamite

Totally a classic. Interesting side note: showed it to a class of 10th graders and all but 2 hated it. I think maybe you have to be out of HS to appreciate ND since the awkwardness of that age isn?t really all that funny while you?re living it.

Big Daddy
Big Daddy(1999)

Adam Sandler is sometimes a little much for me, but I really like this movie. It?s funny and cute.

Juno
Juno(2007)

So heartwarming. I?ve read some criticism of Juno where haters say teenagers are not as cynical and witty as Juno, but I spend a lot of time with teenagers that aren?t even that smart and they?re constantly trying to out-cynicize and out-wit me, so I beg to differ. If you don?t think kids talk like that, spend some time with a group of punks?they do. This movie is excellent and lets us viewers feel a ton. The writing is really good and the characters genuine. Go Diablo Cody, former stripper.

Ron White: You Can't Fix Stupid

Simply awful. I?m so sick and tired of these stand-up losers talking about Michael Jackson, their fat wives, the size of their peanises and how much sex they?re not having. Try and be original, seriously. It makes me angry.

Friday Night Lights

Football fans will really like this movie. Based on a real team?the 1988 Odessa Panthers?and follows the book pretty closely. Good extras on the DVD like interviews with the actual team members.

Good Night, And Good Luck

George Clooney does a fascinating job of capturing an era, and these moments in time are important to document in movies like this, but it was a little boring. I still think it?s important to watch; I had never even heard of Ed Murrow before this.

Turistas (Paradise Lost)

Turistas took way too long to get anywhere and it was only an hour and a half. Too much time was spent on these gringos being chased. It was boring. Fergie?s boyfriend is cute though.

Saw IV
Saw IV(2007)

Disappointment. I had to watch this movie twice and I?m not happy about it. A lot of people may think the twists and clues are what make this movie clever, but not me?I?m mad that I had to spend over 3 hours on a Saw movie. Don?t continue reading this if you haven?t seen the movie. After the end (of the first time), I was like, ?Wait?what?? I had to watch the whole F-ing movie AGAIN before I realized the first scene (the autopsy) happened LAST and that THIS movie was happening SIMULTANEOUSLY to Saw III.

Saw III
Saw III(2006)

Awesome! I refuse to believe these movies are only about the gore. There?s a lot of psychological drama in this; if you took out all the torture, cursing and nudity you could sit down and watch this with your children you could have a serious discussion about life. Sure, the movie would probably be only about 10 minutes, but whatever.

Made of Honor

Oh God. I laughed (sorta) twice. And they were at insignificant moments because I can?t remember them now. This movie supposedly takes place ten years after the main characters are in college, Patrick Dempsey being a senior?so you?re telling me he?s portraying a 31-ish year-old. Throw me a frickin? bone here. 31? Maybe if he spent twenty years the sun. The humor isn?t even funny, the entire thing is way too predictable even for a cheesy romantic comedy, and I still can?t get over them trying to make us believe McDreamy or McSteamy or McStupid or whatever his name is supposed to be is like 30 years-old. Made of Honor is being compared to My Best Friend?s Wedding and no BS?My Best Friend?s Wedding was a much better movie?seriously. I probably should have seen Indiana Jones.

30 Days of Night

I don?t think the vampires ?language? or ?dialect? was supposed to be at all funny, but I found it quite amusing. Pretty creepy, but nothing great.

Half Nelson
Half Nelson(2006)

Ugh. There?s so much to be said for a student/teacher relationship and I have yet to see a movie that portrays it well and captures how difficult that relationship is. Of course these characters were a little complicated and not the norm, but I still wanted more from each of them. Funny-- I immediately thought, ?He can?t drive her home! He can?t be in a vehicle with her! It?s against the rules!? All of this is probably what is wrong with our education system. Most kids hate school, yet they still come. When I think about my favorite teacher, I don?t think about the one who followed all the rules and put the assignment on the board, I think about the one who basically did the exact opposite. Almost everything in education needs to be revamped. Woah, I?m getting way off track. Ryan Gosling is a great actor and he impresses me more with every film of his I watch. Half Nelson just doesn?t work as well as I wanted it to because we don?t get enough of the characters. Maybe that?s the point?how well does a teacher know his or her student and vice versa? I doubt it.

Hostel
Hostel(2006)

I think I was expecting torture pawrn and was disappointed that I didn?t get it. That?s sick. Some really gross scenes, but not as good as the Saws.

Dave Chappelle: For What It's Worth

There are a lot of skits on Chappelle?s Show that I find seriously hilarious. But Dave Chappelle as a stand up comedian? Not so much! There are some funny parts, but nothing side-splitting. I want to laugh until I cry and throw up when I watch stand up, not barely chuckle.

Mystic Pizza
Mystic Pizza(1988)

Actually a decent movie. If you pay close attention, you see Matt Damon as a lad. The only thing that was a real joke in this movie was the idea of Julia Roberts being a ?portagee.?

Bill Engvall: Here's Your Sign Live

I would probably save a lot of time if I turned off movies I don?t like and stopped reading a book I?m not interested. Unfortunately, I can?t do that, even if something is garbage; it?s like a compulsion. I stopped watching this awful excuse for stand-up comedy midway. He?s really bad. Aren?t people who get DVD stand-up specials supposed to be funny?

Center Stage
Center Stage(2000)

Some of the acting is comical when it shouldn?t be, the plot is predictable, and there are scenes that drag, but I?m really a sucker for these dancing flicks. The ballet, the choreography, the music: awesome.

Saw
Saw(2004)

I had 3 nightmares (in a row) after watching this. Really, really clever and scary because there are cunning lunatics out there that could actually think something like this up.

Saw II
Saw II(2005)

I watched this one immediately after the first and truly, it was just as clever. As soon as I saw a pre-The Departed Mark Wahlberg, I kind of rolled my eyes and sunk low in the couch when I realized the director was different than the first movie, but this is definitely impressive.

Dan in Real Life

Hmm?I really liked how the children and their awkward relationship with their father was portrayed. Other than that, I didn?t love this, which I thought I would so I was a tad disappointed.

Margot at the Wedding

Very well could be 1 star, but Nicole Kidman plays an unlikeable character so well. We all have a Margot in our family and there's so much that could be done with such a character, but this movie just didn't do it. Too choppy and undeveloped like an A cup or something worse.

No Country for Old Men

Don't read this if you haven't seen the movie. Maybe I'm not smart enough for No Country for Old Men because I?ve read a lot of reviews and listen to a lot of people speak about how ambiguous the last half hour is and I don't see why there's so much confusion. The whole point of the movie, for me, and especially the ending, says that we have no control over fate. Bardem's character tossing the coins, the car accident at the end, Tommy Lee Jones' long schpeels about nothing--I think the whole idea is life happens while you're making plans. I dunno. Very good movie--I don't see why the end is all most people talk and post about.

Martian Child

So cute! If this movie doesn't tempt you to adopt a child even just a little, you are just as hallow as the Tin Man. A little slow-moving and predictable, but too heart-warming for only three stars--AND it's based on a true story.

American Gangster

Watch the unrated, extended version. It?s long (almost 3 hrs) but I don't see which scenes they could have taken out. Such an awesome portrayal of police corruption, drug trafficking, and the money to be made by it all. It's disgusting how our society benefits from people's addictions. Nobody could do this one like Denzel...my man. And it's ten times as cool since it actually happened.

Fracture
Fracture(2007)

I guess Ryan Gosling isn't just The Notebook guy like I thought! This, Lars--he's really good. The movie is okay; typical lawyer movie: good enough plot and clever, twisty ending.

Akeelah and the Bee

Cute movie. Could have done without the whole, "Those white kids don't care about you, Akeelah" crap, but I've seen this movie make kids sit on the edge of their seats over a Spelling Bee. Pretty powerful and inspiring in its own way.

What Happens in Vegas

Typical romantic comedy. Cute and silly with a touch of heartwarming. I would really like to see Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz in other kinds of movies to see if either are worthwhile.

Look Who's Talking

Ya know?cute enough for a movie about talking sperm and infants. What?s there to say, really. Except maybe that Kirstie Ally really packed on the meat b/n then and now.

The Bourne Ultimatum

The car chases were too long?I lost interest a little. Constant stimulation needed.

The Bourne Supremacy

The car chases were too long?I lost interest a little. Constant stimulation needed.

Romeo + Juliet

Guns? Drugs? A cross-dressing Mercutio? Only Baz Luhrman (sp) could make something like this work. A fresh, sexy and vibrant version of everyone?s favorite star-crossed lovers that caters to the 9th graders forced to read it. The language is still Old English, but spoken with American accents so it?s easier to follow. Things are definitely changed up a bit?the balcony scene takes place in a pool, there?s a twist at the end. I really like this version?makes Shakespeare fun, pretty to look at, and more understandable for the kiddies. Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes are great, but the SCREAMING is a little much at times. Very aesthetically pleasing?from the actors to the costumes to the location to the candles.

Michael Clayton

It was okay, but I was really disappointed! Of course Clooney is great; that should be expected?but there was nothing that made this any different than any other Erin Brokivich (sp) or Grisham made-movie. It even dragged at some points. The performances were good, but the movie as a whole dragged.

A Separate Peace

I just don?t understand why there isn?t a decent movie made about this awful book. It just doesn?t make sense to me; basically every high school has to read this. They can?t make a timeless version that people will be interested in seeing so it makes the book more tolerable? It seems like a no-brainer. Either that, or education needs to be revamped as whole and the canon rethought.

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

Excellent movie. And I don?t even like Philip Seymor Hoffman?he looks like someone I wouldn?t let the children I don?t have go near. I probably would have given it 5 stars, but I didn?t really need to see him hittin? it from behind w/ Marisa Tomei; it?s an image that will take me a long time to forget. I really like the set up of the movie, how it?s told in non-chronological fragments. Great, great performance?drama at its best.

Lars and the Real Girl

This isn?t for everyone. It?s not what you think it?s about?it?s certainly not a comedy about a guy that has a rubber doll as a girlfriend. I watched it with someone who isn?t very compassionate and that person hated it because that?s basically what this movie is about: compassion and acceptance and understanding. It broke my heart and I love it because any movie that makes you FEEL must be quite powerful. Ryan Gossling was perfect, but I was overly partial to Emily Mortimer?great, great movie. Will take you on an emotional journey if you let it.

The Basketball Diaries

This movie sealed the deal for me as DiCaprio?s soul mate (Critters 3 comes at a close second). He?s amazing?truly and simply. I wish it wasn?t so rated R so I could show it to the punks at school after we read Go Ask Alice instead of that garbage movie of the same name. Its only flaw is Jim?s ?recovery? is kind of rushed, in my not-so-humble opinion. Saw Jim Carroll read some of his poetry at Seton Hall like 10 years ago and he was just as strange as the wack-job he portrays in the movie. He read a poem about pubik hair followed by a poem about lice and crabs which was really unsettling. Back to the movie?awesome soundtrack. There weren?t any lull-ish parts which I find a lot in movies about addictions. And 2 peeps from the Soprano?s are in it!

Romeo and Juliet

Oh boy, I really like this movie. The kiddies like it too because Olivia Hussey has big boobs and the dude who plays Romeo looks like Zac Efron. I like it because I like anything that has anything to do with this Shakespearean tragedy that changes lives in my classroom.

My Girl
My Girl(1991)

Adorable family movie one could use as a tool to discuss death with the youngens. Vada Sultenfuss, so unforgettable. I like it when the kids curse

Eastern Promises

I liked it. I had a hard time with the accents and had to watch with the subtitles. The violence made me squirm and there?s an overly long fight scene where a peenis is swinging around like a pendulum, so beware.

Reservation Road

Good movie that shows how one moment?one split second, really?can change your life. Great acting, but would be better if Jennifer Connolly did something about those eyebrows.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

This was perfect for this kind of movie. Lots and lots of funny moments, especially the naked peenis humor (Since when has this been okay? Rated R for all this peenis? If a chick showed her kooter, it?d be NC-17, right?!) They definitely made up for that Drillbit Taylor disaster.

The Bourne Identity

So close to 4 stars for me but I couldn?t do it solely based on Matt Damon. It?s good, but not nearly as good as I expected. I was kind of bored at some points which didn?t make sense since it?s supposed to be such a glossy, action packed, gun shooting, bad guy killing movie.

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

I don?t really remember the White Castle movie, but I know it was definitely not as funny as this. Seriously hilarious, laughed throughout. Great NJ, drug, sex and college humor, but the greatest part of the script is how they make fun of every ethnicity known to man. ?Bottomless parties? just might be a new trend. Neil Patrick Harris is awesome and I might let him brand me. This movie takes place a week after White Castle, so you should watch that before seeing this as I wish I had done to refresh your memory.

3:10 to Yuma
3:10 to Yuma(2007)

I didn?t think I?d like this movie nearly as much as I did because ?Western? to me means the Dixie Chicks and Taylor Swift, but this was actually a really good movie. I assumed it?d be very cowboy-ish, dusty and dry looking, but the story line was good, the acting phenomenal and the shooting/fighting/violence was only used when necessary. Russell Crow and Christian Bale are really good actors.

Shoot 'Em Up
Shoot 'Em Up(2007)

WTF? Why doesn?t the jacket for this say, ?Comic book come to life!? Am I missing something here? This movie was ridiculous. The only reason why I watched until the end and didn?t rate it 1 star was the hysterical special effects?they really are funny: the way the ?baby?s? head bounces up and down, how Clive Owen can shoot and kill a man while falling from a plane, the things he does with carrots. What is Paul Giametti (sp) doing in something like this?

Into the Wild

I can see why people really like this movie. I just happen to not be one of those people because I am not one with nature and don?t really like it. The ?wild-life? scenes really did nothing except gross me out and I?m a little repulsed by long shots of scenery so a movie like this really isn?t my thing. I don?t like animals, but I don?t want to see one being skinned and eaten either. Especially if it?s a bird or squirrel. However, Emile Hirsch is amazing and was just as impressive as Tom Hanks in Cast Away. The fact that this is based on a true story makes it intriguing and I can understand (but not relate) as to why people who are one with the Earth find this movie bible-esque.

Across the Universe

This was a difficult production for me to rate. There were parts of this movie that I loved (The dude who plays Jude is awesome, the historical parts of the movie, the ending, the realization: ?The Beatles wrote that song??) and part of this movie that I downright loathed (Evan Rachel Wood should not be allowed to sing in public like EVER, every cartoonish adaption was really annoying, the length?I fast-forwarded a lot of this movie so they sounded like the Chipmunks, there was no character named Michelle). All in all, I get it and appreciated the effort and can see why a lot of stoners and teenagers with a rock and roll agenda would dig the film. And I would dig it too, if they took out the stupid special effects, the women singing, and about 30 minutes.

Superbad
Superbad(2007)

Ha! Ha! Ha! I?m interested to see what happens when Michael Cera ages and can?t play these roles any more. Best line?Becca: I?m really wet. Michael Cera?s character: They said that would happen in my Health class.

In the Valley of Elah

This is really close to 5 stars, but I could have done without the misogynistic view of Charlize Theron?s character?s coworkers against her as a detective, her being a single mother?it was all just a bit much. Although this film gets extremely political which I usually don?t like, I liked it much. And the documentary on the extras about the actual event the movie is based on is excellent as well. What are we doing to our men??!

Stop-Loss
Stop-Loss(2008)

Before this movie, I didn?t even know a thing such as a Stop-Loss existed never mind happened to 81,000 of our troops. Ryan Phillippe gives his best performance yet (which I?m not sure is saying much since he basically always plays the same role: the dude from Cruel Intentions?same confused look, but this time with a Texan accent). It?s a little predictable, but very good. Really delves into the psychology of war and the emotional trauma suffered when they get back.

Hitch
Hitch(2005)

This was okay. Cute enough but only in the movies do dudes like Kevin James get the chick like the blonde in the film. And, Buddha Bar! Love!

The Brave One

Everything fell a little too nicely into place for me, but Jodi Foster is THE vigilante de woman. Watchable.

Things We Lost in the Fire

Great story about people and the unconventional connections they make with other people. I?m not a filmmaker yet, but the close-ups and music really drew me into the characters. I rooted for them and cared. Good portrayal of addiction?to drugs, to people, to family and our expectations, consequences, I?ll stop. One more thing?the kids were REALLY good, not annoying like a lot of child actors.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Someone with ADD can NOT watch this movie without taking breaks, which I had to do, but nonetheless the performances are phenomenal. Casey Affleck is a STAR, as in a burning light among the rest of us, and I forgive Brad for being a cad. Excellent history piece and put together really well. I don?t know spit about movie making, but the editing and whatnot was really good. The music, too. Don?t tell anyone, but I thought Jesse James was a fictional character until the film?

Rendition
Rendition(2007)

Gripping?I don?t even want to visit Wikipedia to see if this crap really happens because I?m afraid of what I?ll find. The documentary on the extra stuff was pretty good, too.

Ocean's Thirteen

OKay, they made up for 12. I think I may have liked this one a lot more if I didn?t watch all three in a row.

1 Giant Leap
1 Giant Leap(2002)

It?s a good idea which is why I watched it, except it was awfully nauseating and boring. I really like the idea of music as a truth and universal language ? but MTV would have done a better job showing that than this crap.

Ocean's Twelve

Boo! Ocean?s Eleven was so much fun! This was not the flashy, screen-moving, pretty film that I expected. Twelve is like the 2nd child that gets bad grades! Disappointed! But I did like the Julia Roberts scene.

Kramer vs. Kramer

This won an Oscar? Maybe because it was so revolutionary for a man to want, nevertheless be granted custody of his child but I was unimpressed. Watchable, but not nearly as great as I expected.

Shallow Hal
Shallow Hal(2001)

I like this movie but there?s something dishonorable about Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit to prove a point. Plus, I hate Jack Black. Bad. Other than that it had the potential to be really good.

An Evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder

When describing his wife, Kevin Smith says, ?She is this weird enigma that I have 50 yrs to figure out.? I dunno, I liked that. Same kind of stuff as the first evening, but nonetheless entertaining. He entertains me.

Wendigo
Wendigo(2002)

This wasn?t so bad, just don?t buy it or waste a queue spot on it. For the wee hours of the night when there?s nothing else to do, it?s fine. Why the kid from Malcolm in the Middle is in it, I?m not sure. Money hungry parents probably.

An Evening with Kevin Smith

When discussing his experience with film school: My parents were like, ?Look. We know that you?re a failure. If you drop out, it?s fine.? Funny, funny stuff. But he?s only getting 4 stars indefinitely because on several occasions he made me very uncomfortable w/ how he picked on so many insecure college kids during the Q and A. Don?t be a d-i-c-k. Snoogans.

The French Lieutenant's Woman

Meryl Streep is the ONLY reason why I didn?t hate this movie. I fell asleep twice and it didn?t matter. Even the supposed creativity of paralleling two relationships from different eras couldn?t save this disaster. Big effin WOMT.

Awakenings
Awakenings(1990)

I almost gave this 3 stars because it felt a little long, but then I thought of DeNiro and had to say I ?really? liked it. I Wikipedia-ed Malcolm Sayer, the doctor; his real name is Oliver Sacks and he still writes and is still alive. Not in order of importance.

Talk to Me
Talk to Me(2007)

This was great; why wasn?t Don Cheadle nominated? Is it cause I is black? Reminded me of Howard Stern, but better. Always root for the underdog. Always.

Ocean's Eleven

Ahh?eye candy for the movie go-er and a heist to beat Vegas. This is why people like movies. Needs no further explanation.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

I?m giving this 5 stars even though it?s not as funny as the series.

Gone Baby Gone

I?m SO glad Ben Affleck is young man and will make many more a film. Oh so gripping, oh so Boston! My only small complaint: Casey Affleck mumbles too much and must ann-un-ci-ate.

Old School
Old School(2003)

I don?t know what?s funnier?the recruiting process/hazing scene from this movie or that Grandma cane down at 3 and told me to shut the hell up when I was watching it. No one is EVER too old to live in a sorority house.

Sicko
Sicko(2007)

Wow, wow, wow. Being relatively healthy, I never think about this stuff and think of my grandfather as miserly and looking for more stuff too complain about for getting his prescription medication from Canada. No?I need to pay more attention to our failing healthcare system, because more than likely I will live a long and miserable life?one that will require medical aid. Yeah, went on www.moorewatch.com ? interesting. Not sure if a socialist healthcare is the answer, but either way, down with the HMO?s.

In the Land of Women

There's a really sweet scene between Meg Ryan's character and her oldest daughter where the daughter says something like, "I'm afraid I won't ever get to really know you" and it's heartbreaking. That's the only reason why I gave it the extra 1/2 star. I didn't care about these people--so much so that I don't remember their names. (Wait, Lucy & Sarah, nevermind) Very slow moving. Ginnifer Goodwin at the end made me miss Big Love! And Adam Brody is awfully comely, no? Yes, yes he is.

Fast Food Nation

Too boring. And gross. Kind of important though.

The Da Vinci Code

No, just no. Was not interested. Would you believe I still have yet to read the book?

Waitress
Waitress(2007)

I didn't really like it! I WANTED to really like it. The whole pie making thing was very picturesque but I was kind of bored until the last 20 minutes of the film. Hmmm...it's too bad about Adrienne Shelly.

The Bucket List

I gave it that extra half star because JM sings and wrote the theme. With two actors like this, I expected more and was a lil disappointed. Get the kleenex ready for a heart breaking last fifteen minutes. I have such good friends...hope I'm the first to go.

Once
Once(2007)

It's a beautiful story, but the movie isn't that great. Maybe I'm in a bad mood. Really makes you think about how one moment in your life, one decision, one person really makes a difference. How what's truly important in life isn't always what you want. How very often...that person you meet that's soulmate-ish person...you only meet...ONCE! Aha!

Away From Her

Amazing performances,but a little slow moving. Shows how selfless true love is...had Grandma & Grandpa discussing what they would do! Sunds corny, but what a powerful emotion.

The Illusionist

The last ten minutes of this ruled. Jessica Biel's accent is a joke, however. And the ending is resolved a little too quickly, but I like that magic stuff.

The Kingdom
The Kingdom(2007)

This was an awesome movie. Important to see, especially nowadays. It was great to see Jason Bateman in something different than his usual work, too. Made my heart beat and my eyes water...great movie! Jamie Foxx really looks like a horse though. Either way, I'm surprised The Kingdom didn't get more publicity; I thought it was great stuff.

Notes on a Scandal

Cate Blanchett rules.
Holy Beautiful, holy good actress. I'm not sure this is, in fact, an OPINION because the woman's been nominated for several Academy Awards and is known for an incredible amount of range, but this is different. She plays the role of a woman who is boinking her 15 year-old student and even the coldest of heart's (me) sympathizes with her. I am now Cate?s (yes, we're on a first name basis) biggest fan. Really delves into the land of the lonely. Liked it much.

Blood Diamond

Leonardo DiCaprio is awesome. Important movie to see if you don't know much about the diamond industry. Phone call at the end was a little much though...I mean...c'mon... Still loved.

The Prestige
The Prestige(2006)

I couldn't have guessed the end if I was Sherlock Fucking Holmes. Loved this movie. Christian Bale is hot. Scarlett's accent was a little retarded though. Awesome movie; very suspenseful.

Clerks II
Clerks II(2006)

"A dirty mind but a pure heart" -- exactly why I love this movie! From porch monkey, ass to mouth and of course Jay and Bob, Clerks II kicks ass. Dance number was priceless, too. Kevin Smith rocks my world.

Mallrats
Mallrats(1995)

I don't care what the reviewers say; this movie kicks ass. Fly fatass, fly! And the Director's commentary is hilarious, too. Jay & Silent Bob are so funny they could cure cancer. Wait, what?

Chasing Amy
Chasing Amy(1997)

Love it! One of my all time favorites. Says so much about love, friendship and humanity--with Jay & Silent Bob, dick jokes AND raunchy sex humor. Like all Smith flicks, the DVD extras are worth the buy. I just need Affleck to lose the facial hair. Plus, and I hate to say it, but Joey Lauren Adams' voice is uber annoying, even if she is cute.

Dogma
Dogma(1999)

I am so biased over a Kevin Smith flick, but this is a great movie. Not only does it bless you with Damon and Affleck's presence, but it also makes you question your religious beliefs. Heehee, I wish I was related to all of them.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

I would totally be Jay's boo-boo kitty fuck. The bonus features on any Kevin Smith flick: hilarity ensues.

Jersey Girl
Jersey Girl(2004)

I don't care what anyone says...I LOVE this movie. It's super sweet and Ben and that little girl Raquel Castro or something like that are just adorable together. I want Ben Affleck to be the godfather of one of my children. He's so cute; this is a really sweet movie.

Drillbit Taylor

It was awful. There are two funny parts. 1. All of the physical comedy meshed into one. 2. The principal can not help but laugh at the kid's bullying. That's only funny because sometimes it's true. Bullies, after all, are for the most part funny.

The Darjeeling Limited

I basically hated this movie. What is wrong with me? I think I'm in such a bad mood that I could watch Annie and call her a piece of shit orphan, but really, this movie sucked ass for the most part.

Bee Movie
Bee Movie(2007)

Cute! Pay attention to catch the quips.

Good Will Hunting

Love. Love. Love. Beautifully written and acted. A story about friendship, loss, grief, bonding, love, fear of love, -- I could go on and on and on. This is my all-time favorite movie...and not just because of the uhm...aesthetics. I never get tired of watching it because it's just so fucking touching. PS: Casey Affleck as Morgan=genius.

Hollywoodland

It was good enough, but I didn't love it. I do love Ben Affleck though. I'm going to ask him to be the godfather of one of my future children. I dunno...I was just kinda bored watching it even though it was pretty good; wrote email while it was on.

Semi-Pro
Semi-Pro(2008)

I don't care what anyone says--Will Ferrell makes me laugh. "You motherfucking cocksuckers." I'm giggling just thinking about it. he cracks me up...! The Flint Tropics? C'mon..."Let's get tropical!" In Michigan? Funny stuff. Don't take yourself too seriously.

Clerks
Clerks(1994)

Ah, Jay and Silent Bob. I used to watch this movie on repeat in college--even met Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes once! This movie has some of the best dialogue in all conversation. Loved to be a friend of Jay's...purely for entertainment value. And the Director's Commentary is good too, per usual.

Evening
Evening(2007)

This is a beautifully made movie with beautiful actors. I just couldn't LOVE it no matter how hard I tried. deeply woven characters and amazing performances as expected from such a cast, but the movie itself lacked depth for me. Although, brings to mind how all the choices we make in life, significant and insignificant, long thoughtout and quick thinking truly shape who we are and what becomes of us. No decision is small when making choices in life. It's scary if you think about it too long.

Be Kind Rewind

I think it was cool that this whole ordeal was set in Passaic and the jazz oedeal was exciting to me, but I think my hatred for Jack Black caused me to want this movie to end. Danny Glover couldn't even save this movie for me. Why do they continue to put Jack Black in movies? I just don't get it. And why do I continue to see them?

Step Up 2 the Streets

I love watching those people dance and it makes me want to be a hip hop princess when I grow up. So much talent! The first one was much better though--better story line and characters I cared about more. Either way, enjoyable. Shawty had them apple bottom jeans...boots w/ the furrrr...the whole club was lookin at heeeeerrrrrr...

The Nanny Diaries

I thought I was supposed to hate this movie, but I actually liked it. I loved the book...I was a Nanny in college and related to the heroine, but the movie got such poor reviews I didn't want to see it. That goes to show you that you shouldn't listen to reviewers. Grayer is just as adorable as I imagined him and Scarlet is great as Nanny. Laura Linney is def Mrs. X from hell. Of course the book surpasses the movie on all levels, but that doesn't change that I actually enjoyed myself.

A Mighty Heart

Angelina Jolie is perfect. This was so important to watch, sniff, sniff. Made me proud to be a woman. Independent, strong, and kick-ass.