bringbackmrdirp's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

The Secret Agent Club

For an action movie for 12 year olds it might be good. To bad it's rated PG-15 now. It has Hulk Hogan without facial hair...for the rest straight-forward and predictable.

Tough and Deadly
½

Billy Blanks and Roddy Piper are sure a better interracial action movie couple than Dennis Rodman and JVCD.

Straight action movie forward with some humor, but nothing irritating or hacky. You don't see many action movies, that show the paper work after the hero beats up the bad guys. Best character in my view is the always annoyed secretary Maureen ( played by Lisa Stahle ) she should have had an bigger role.

The movie has the worst name for an action movie hero: Elmo Freech and one of the most underrated Roddy Piper one-liners "[...] next stop toe-tag city"

Bangkok Dangerous

Great underrated action thriller.

Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies

If they used some lower tier wrestlers, we might have to get to see some tits and ass.

Not a big fan of zombie horror movies, the genre is too overdone and about everybody can slap some make up on and be a zombie.

Deep Evil
Deep Evil(2004)
½

Straight forward sci-fi thriller: not that much action and it lacks some kind of final battle. The aliens act a bit too woody for highly intelligent beings that can transform in anything. Don't watch if dislike movies with open endings without a sequel.

Martians Go Home
½

Randy Quaid in his most serious role I ever saw and Rob Schneider as voyeur martian.

Men in White (National Lampoon's Men in White)
½

Alien abduction / invasion comedy. Pretty good for what it is.

Cobra
Cobra(1986)

Never seen a action movie where the hero speaks the majority in one-liners. For the rest it's straight forward and what you expect with a great soundtrack.

Savage Streets

Rape & Revenge with Linda Blair as crossbow vigilante. The time between the rape and revenge could have been shorter and the revenge could be more violent.

What do you do when Linda Blair joyrides your car and dumps garbage on it? Rape her deaf-mute sister #RapistLogic.

Resurrection Man

Protestant Boondock Saint(s) or more like protestant IRA King of Nothing?

The movie misses a vigilante theme for a boondocks saintesque movie. It's also depends less on imagery, which would make it more protestant. The movie does not really get behind the politicial motives.

Good watch but the violence is tame.

The Anarchist Cookbook

Preachy and pro-narc. It shows though you get shit done if the insane parts of the far left and right unite.

Hitler---Dead or Alive

Anti-Nazi fictional propaganda movie. 5 Gangsters go to Germany to kill Hitler for one million dollars. The beginning is slow and only the ending is worth watching,

On wikipedia they connect this movie with inglourios basterds. Somehow the story is a bit the same.

Convoy
Convoy(1978)

It's all good fun until the feds decide to blow everything up.

Benny's Video

Intresting movie, shows the charactor of people who do that sort of thing.

Streets of Rage
½

Too few action, too much melodrama and too much bad acting

Reign Over Me

Adam Sandler in a post-911 trauma depression drama movie. Not as bad as it sounds. It made me curious.

The Paranormal Diaries: Clophill

paranormalfoundfootagexploitation

Megan Is Missing
½

For it's audience: teen girls it might be good

Movie 43
Movie 43(2013)

Cartoon cat was kinda funny. That one bit had to end with a school shooting.

Into the Sun
Into the Sun(2005)

Thankfully Steven Seagal kills two slopes in the beginning scene otherwise a black guy would die first. Oh no if they would have cut the beginning scene, there would be no black guy dying first. But well you shouldn't ignore the suffering of the blacks.

Clementine
Clementine(2004)

Korean drama about an single father cop with alcohol and anger issues, raising his daughter, thinking the mother is dead. Marketed as a Steven Seagal movie, which explains the bad ratings.

It starts with Americans rigging a tai kwon do match and taking the title unfairly. That's Korean alright. At the end the hero has to fight Steven Seagal. In between drama, corruption and a black guy.

Submerged
Submerged(2004)

Intresting concept and I was pleasantly suprised in this Seagal movie. Don't bother to zoom and slow down the scene where the woman swings from the balcony. You don't see anything, but a transparent bra strap. I already added to the imdb goofs page,

Saint
Saint(2011)

The Dutch Silent Night, Deadly Night. Sometimes a bit too campy with "Hey look at us Dutch" content. The head villian stays pretty abstract and has only a small story as background.

The Divine Enforcer
½

Before the boondocks saints popularised catholic vigitilantism. There was "The Divine Enforcer". Not only does the Divine Enforcer takes down the mob, he also catches an vampiric serial killer.

With Eric Estrada representing the old dusty catholic hierarchy. Michael Foley from Airwolf, represents the up and coming catholic renewal movement, kicking asses and helping the community.

White Zombie
White Zombie(1932)

First zombie ever made, where the zombies where mindless slaves and you only had to fear to become one of them.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure
½

Uncle Eddie is the funniest when he interacts with other people. Putting him on a desolate island doesn't help. Lizzy McGuire's brother with a bowl cut makes it worse.

The Minis
The Minis(2009)

This probably has loads of negative reviews, because it is sentimental and preachy. But only because it has midgets in it, doesn't mean it can't have a moral story. The jokes are sometimes hacky and the soundtrack is in the beginning irritating. But Chris Rodman learns that life isn't all about money.

Friends & Lovers

Shows one boob of that one woman from "When I met your mother"...That's all..

Circle of Fear

Nice Italian detective with some transsexuality elements to it.

A Haunted House

Could have been released earlier and funnier.

Red Dawn
Red Dawn(2012)

In the first movie, a black guy got killed first in this one, a black guy is one of the head collaborators. Talk about moving on up.

Again unrealistic from a unconventional warfare and psychological political standpoint. You shouldn't call the terrorists by the name they picked themselves.

Down Periscope

Role manmade for Kelsey Grammer, a rogue military u-boat commanders, that doesn't play by the book and gets penis tatttoos and all. The only problem with the movie, like many others with Rob Schneider is, it has Rob Schneider in it,

Sisanje (Skinning)

Serbian heavily subsidized skinhead-flick. The movie is less preachy and less predictable than skinhead-flicks like AHX and Romper Stomper. The movie is more about the idea that hooligans are useful idiots who are controlled by a vast right wing conspiracy of the state and the intelectuals.

Serbian Edward Furlong gets recruited by Serbian Rusell Crowe, and quickly becomes fanatical and takes over the group. Committing some actual hate crimes instead of using swastikas for shock value. He gets to bone Serbian Fairuza Balk, who is hotter than American-Persian Fairuza Balk.

2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams

Normally I like the sequels of modern horror movies better. Because they take themselves less serious. "2001 Maniacs" being a humorous movie, this sequel takes it a bit too far.

The Punisher
The Punisher(1989)

A lot better than the 2004 version. More dark, less pretentious and with more extra. Unfortunately the punisher spends more time rescuing kidnapped children then killing bad guys.

Rambo (Rambo IV)

Good to see a more graphic action movie. Why isn't that irritating british prick killed off? He only could be more annoying if he would contstantly say that he has served in the Falklands.

The Barbarians

So this is were "Game of Thrones" ripped everything off. They didn't have a dragon that looks like a skinned dog though.

Double Trouble

Black character dies first! For the rest entertaining but unremarkable

Suburban Commando

The part that Hulk Hogan was born to play: a misunderstood warrior soul from another planet.

Think Big
Think Big(1990)

I thought the barbarian brothers were actually wrestlers and I watched the German dubbed version. I might not be the one to judge

Midgets vs. Mascots

Funny watch but it could have used more slapstick and more nudity. I think I might have watched an censored cut.

Return to Boggy Creek
½

It's more like a kids get lost and get helped by big foot movie, than anything else.

The Midnight Hour

The only way this movie could be more 80s, is when all the halloween costumes were from charactors from the 80s

Mord ist mein Geschäft, Liebling (Killing Is My Business, Honey)

One of the better modern German comedies ( That doesn't say much ) and mob comedies ( That doesn't say much either ) Just a bit too cheesy at some times. Bud Spencer should have had a bigger role. Also it has to most unnecessary use of CGI, I have seen.

Zombie 4 - After Death

Good movie. The ending suits the movie having the charactors constantly standing before open windows and all. This movie stars gay porn star Jeff Stryker. I was quite suprised when he wasn't the guy with the handle mustache.

Mein Führer - Die wirklich wahrste Wahrheit über Adolf Hitler (My Fuhrer)
½

It could have gone two ways, extremely hacky are humongously pretentious. It's the latter, all the hack jokes like "Hitler in the tub" and "Hitler doing Eva" are already shown in the trailer. All the jokes simply aren't funny. It can be considered to be a jewish director's pet project.

Muttertag
Muttertag(1993)

Austrian fringe comedy which mocks the "Heile Welt" of the petit bourgeois. Some parts are a bit predictable. But it's a good comedy. Sometimes the dialogue is hard to follow even for people who understand German.

Fat Slags
Fat Slags(2004)

Having seen two Larry the Cable Guy movies, I'm more used to the more sophisticated fart and body mass jokes. If you can call them jokes.

Inchon
Inchon(1981)

Inchon: The Unification Church's Battlefield Earth.

Scientology member John Travolta's epic science fiction film Battlefield Earth based on the novel of scientology founder L.Ron Hubbard, is notorious for being a bad movie and a box office flop. Battlefield Earth is said to be John Travolta's pet project to glorify L.Ron Hubbard.

It was not the first time an epic film was produced with the involvement of believers of a controversial religion. In 1981 the Korean war movie Inchon was released. Directed by Terence Young it deals with the battle of Inchon, a battle that is considered to be the turning point of the Korean war. The film was financed by Sun Myung Moon of the notorious anti-communist christian organisation the Unification Church, through one of his companies One Way Productions. Moon not only financed the movie but also served as a special consultant.

Inchon had budget of $ 46.000.000 and starred among others Laurence Olivier as general Douglas MacArthur and Jacqueline Bisset as a United States Major's wife who has to flee from Korean village when the communists invade while she is shopping for furniture. Although imdb doesn't state any box office revenue, the movie is considered to be a flop.

Of course there are plenty of differences between Battlefield Earth and Inchon. Inchon is based on a true historical battle and Battlefield Earth is not. Also the message of Inchon is much clearer than in Scientology. Which could be because Inchon had a more direct involvement of the church than Battlefield Earth, which is more L.Ron Hubbard fanfiction than a propaganda piece. Although it lacks the gore like in movies as Men Behind The Sun, it shows the communists of North Korea clearly behaving as the bad guys. In Battlefield Earth it is not clear, what the story has to do with the specifics of the Scientology religion.

Is it as bad? I have to admit that I didn't think Battlefield Earth wasn't that bad. Although I'm not a hardcore science fiction fan and/or a continuity error fundamentalist. Some aspects of Battlefield Earth were unrealistic, but it didn't matter much to the story. A science fiction film for me is a form of entertainment not something that has to be scientific accurate.

As for Inchon: The entertainment factor really under the slow pace of the story. The subplot isn't intresting or enjoyable and doesn't add anything to the story. I think is supposed to be a heart warming story where an American woman safes 5 cute little asian kids.
The part of the movies where General MacArthur lays out his plans are very pretentious and bombastic "The plan will succeed because God is on our side".

The action scenes are alright, although it uses a lot of stock footage. But don't expect any blatant scenes like the more obvious blatant propaganda movies like Men Behind The Sun: The Rape of Nanking.

As for the historic value. It still isn't clear to me how the battle of Inchon was one. Something with a white american and a black american stabbing an North Korean watch soldier to death and rigging a light house.

As a propaganda piece? The movie doesn't really appeal to the emotions of the viewer. For the rest, it depicts the North Korean as the bad guys. But I would consider that most of the target audience already saw the North Koreans as the bad guys. The war crimes depicted in the movie are pretty random: north korean soldiers shooting in a crowd of civilians. Which is of course bad, but the crowd is too anonymous to feel emition about them.

Insane Clown Posse: Big Money Hustla$ - The Movie

Beter than the sequel. It is what you would expect.

Flesh Gordon
Flesh Gordon(1974)
½

The villian is someone who has a ray that makes everybody have sex. I would not have expected that in a sex comedy spoof. Also the anti-asian racism in outerspace. Is it still racism when it is a against an evil alien overlord? I don't know. Is calling E.T. a tar baby racist?

'Nam Angels
'Nam Angels(1988)
½

Pretty straight forward "some bikers got somehow stuck in vietnam and an army officer convinces them to help him on a mission"-movie. The editing good be done a little better and maybe the sound. Could be because I watched the German dubbed version. The French villian looks like it's been ripped of, of "Missing in action 2"

Emanuelle's Daughter: Queen of Sados
½

sex.nothing happens.sex.plane crash.sex.nothing happens.teen rape.sex.nothing happens. the end.

DOA: Dead or Alive
½

I didn't know that this was a video game movie. I thought it was some mma / martial arts movie with Jaime Pressly.

Entertaining for what it is. Too bad it is pg13

Stander
Stander(2004)
½

The DVD made it sound like this was some poltical correct movie about a south african cop. Who has a guilty conscious and starts robbing banks while pocketing the money all himself. From what I've read about the Stander case. That wasn't the case.

The movie made it more look like his career was on a dead end. Because he wanted to quit riot duty. So he decided to rob banks as extra income.

You have to get used to parts in the beginning. Where Thomas Jane was some kind of wig. The second part gives a more tarantino-esque "Oh we are such cheeky criminals"-feel to it.

The movie would be better if they kept the bleeding heart political correct stuff out of it. But it was a fine watch.

Forced to Kill

A repoman is being runned of the road, held hostage by a redneck family and is now FORCED TO KILL.

Well actually not he only has to win a non-lethal fighting tournament but he loses. He kills his redneck kidnappers though.

The beginning scene was not needed without it, the movie would have worked. But hey an extra excuse for a barfight, shooting and care chase scene.

Disaster Movie

Because I paid a buck, the unskippable trailers on the DVD were two romcoms, including a direct-to-dvd one with Renee Zellwegger and I didn't like "Date movie" I didn't expect much.

It is not as bad as Date Movie. The jokes are OK. Although they are not funny and often predictable. It was an entertaining watch. Nothing more.

Disaster! The Movie

For a claymation movie with loads of fart and sex jokes, it is what it is. A good watch but not really funny. The parts about mötley crew are about 3 minutes al together and look like they are just spliced in.

2-Headed Shark Attack

The Asylum is mockbusting scifi movies now?
This movie has the pinnacle of the typical horrormovie egotistical douchebag. He only could be worse if he raped someone and frame somebody else for it.
No origin story of the shark and at first I thought the shark would be killed without an elebarote plan. But in the end it still gets killed by an plan.
Not enough boobs.

The Flock
The Flock(2008)

The director of "Raped by an Angel" and the "Naked Killer" comes with a decent flick about sex offenders with a good story . Only too bad Avril Lavigne gets killed off screen.

Emperor Caligula - The Untold Story (Caligola: La storia mai raccontata)
½

Straight forward fake sequel to Caligula. The sex scenes are pretty tame only a real oral sex scene and a scene that brings "freddy got fingered" to mind. Well the scenes are hot enough for someone to upload the whole thing to video porn site.

Edge of Darkness

Mel Gibson does it again blows the lid of the conspiracy. Kills em all and saves the world.

Velocity Trap

Suprisingly non generic action film. At first I didn't know it was sci-fi. Mostly because of the large "5 DVDS FOR 5.-!!!" It had on it. It has some ( intended ) funny bits.
In the year 300 there are still Mexican and European accents.

Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror

The only thing unpredictable about this movie is that a black man doesn't die first. For the rest it's pretty decent.

Dracula 3000
Dracula 3000(2004)

Still a better vampire story then Twilight. It has been compared to "Leprechaun in space" although it really isn't as funny. Coolio is putting sentenses in rhyme for no apparant reason though.
Only for the comments about the crew in the beginning and constantly boasting black stereotypes. Extra points for letting a black guy die first.

The Master
The Master(2012)

Good movie about the relationship of a guru and his followers. It doesn't have a typical cult-drama story like man finds cult > man converts > man sees truth about cult > man gets desillusionized.

Serial Killing 101
½

Preditable and the endig is so very lame. It has some nice stock footage though.

God Bless America
½

Although the film probably aims at people who like "edgy" stuff and/or "Controversial humour". It also criticises them. Good for you Bobcat Goldtwaith!

Half Past Dead

Steven Seagal in an action movie with loads of rap and Ja Rule flying being thrown around. It also has informant propaganda and Seagal doesn't even catch the head bad guy.

The Beaver
The Beaver(2011)

Fairly realistic look on depression only the self-mutalation part may be a little too much. Also when Mel Gibson is eating out Jodie Foster, is he using the beaver???

Massacre in Dinosaur Valley

A bit tame for a cannibal movie but a good watch. Great to see Michael Sopkiw as a good guy.

Hei tai yang: Nan Jing da tu sha (Men Behind The Sun 4) (Black Sun: The Nanking Massacre)

War drama which is fast paced and full of symbolism. The gore is made well and not too overdone. It has gore in it but I wouldn't classify it as gore. More regular movies should have casual gore in them.

The Burrowers

Tremors in the wild west? Actually it would be better if it was an actual tremors sequel. The creatures are nice but not as cool as graboids.

Street Fighter

Who would hate this movie. It's great. The AN is clearly a metaphor for the UN an organisation which if it is not ineffectual. It acts like an elephant in a porcelain cabinet. I might think that when the commander Guile goes rogue and makes the AN into an effectual organisation is a interventionist progaganda and against consensus.
The bison empire is also a good metaphor for the New World Order. "Pax Bisonicus" = peace through new world order oppression. Zanghief is clearly paladin fanatic.

The movie is full of propaganda references and even references the John Wayn Gacy "Pogo the Clown" painting.

The problem I have with the charactors why is Balrog keeping his boxing gloves on? Boxing gloves are there to limit the level of injuries and of course they could have done a lot mover with Jean-Claude van Damme's hair.

The Depraved
The Depraved(2011)

Great thriller with some decent gore. Call it hostel under the ground in Berlin.

It has some nazi ufo references. Why the hell doesn't the German guy just say nazi ufo instead of reichsflugscheibbde
Klaus Stiglmeier is great as the villian.
It's a bit annoying that only french charactor has an irritating accent and the Korean and South-American hasn't.

Korkusuz (Rampage)

DAMN YOU MOUNTAIN TURKS!! My only problem this movie isn't tough enough against mountain Turks. The mountain Turks drifted away from their great Turkish heritage and resort to banditism.

The mountain Turks are so stupid they didn't know Sirdar wasn't a mountain Turk. He didn't have a mustage for christ sake.

Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood

The second best one in the Leprechaun series. In still like "Leprechaun in space" the best. Fuck all those critics who say the chronology of the movie doesn't make sense. Just fuck them.

Osombie
Osombie(2012)

This is an good alternative for people who detest nazi zombie movies because of their historical inaccuracy.

The downside is Zombie Osama makes his first real entrance in the movie around 60 minutes in. The movie has a pretty serious tone. The good part Zombie Osama isn't CGI.

The Dark Lurking

Note: This review of the German dvd version with the cover which rips off "Alien" and is titled "Alien vs. Zombie"

Although he dialogue is bad especiallly from the purposed bitchy charactor Jen, who is a bitch, the movie is entertaining. You have to get used to the Australian accents at first, especially because the rescue trooper are supposed to be an internation team ( To be more specific: One American, One Mexican and One Australian )

The effects are pretty good. But that good als be because of the dark atmosphere of the movie. It references relics found by the Nazis ( JAI! ) The action and story are good. But the charactors are a bit too stereotypical. You have to keep paying attention. It seems I missed the part where Jen the bitch died. Too bad.

The title of the DVD I have is misleading. Arn't zombies in space not just Aliens ? It was better to call it "Aussies vs. Space Zombies" or "Aussies in space" Although i'm not sure they are in space. They might be just under the ground or something or the space ship has a surface.

Hostel Part II

Another sequel that's better than the first one.

Attack of the Beast Creatures

Before "Troll 2" there was "Attack of the Beast Creatures" Those are some mean carrots

The Poughkeepsie Tapes

Amazing mix between the standard true crime documentaries and found footage horror.

The Legend of Awesomest Maximus

Although it has a few historical inaccuries it is a good movie.

Satan's Little Helper

Proof that's possible to make an entertaining horror movie with only latex effects.
Great use of the costumes and great twists. Sometimes the actions of the charactors arn't very logical though.

F
F(2010)

The movie feels unfinished. I really did not see this movie end well for the protagonists. So I was curious about the end. The open ending is the last I Wanted.

Highwaymen
Highwaymen(2004)
½

Great movie not the typical nowadays horror. There could more emphasize on the murderer "The insurance salesman turned serial killer using his car as a weapon"

Marquis De Sade's Justine

Pretty boring for an socalled torture flick the story line isn`t bad though

Revenge of the Cheerleaders

One of David Hasselhoff's first movie. You can see his rising star in his performance as Boner. The story is very stereotypical though.

Shark Attack
Shark Attack(1999)

The story line is more than just shark attacks; brain mutations,cancer medicine, xenophobia in souther africa ( wtf ) The stock footage is not overused

Goodbye Bruce Lee: His Last Game of Death

Classic Brucesploitation. The actually movie starts as a movie in a movie. But it just plain ends and doesn't go back to the regular movie. The non-asian characters are pretty stereotypical. I expected the first black villain to throw a basketball

Dispara! (Outrage) (Shoot) (Spara che ti passa)

It's Rape-and-revenge without being typical rape revenge. The rape and murder scene are pretty tame. You watch more as a drama.

The English dubbing is awful. The voice of Nera sounds constantly unintrested.

Crazy Guy With Super Kung-Fu

Kung Fu with some three stooges kind of humor and cross-dressing.

Big Stan
Big Stan(2009)

The gay rape jokes were pretty good. Although the movie was a but too politically correct

Six: The Mark Unleashed

Christian apocalyptic dystopia. It is what you expect.

Cane e gatto (Cat and Dog)(Thieves and Robbers)

Entertaining Bud Spencer with of course a lot of not neccasart stuns

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th

Surely funny and better than any of the "scary movie" films could have used t&a though.

Teeth
Teeth(2007)
½

Vaginaphobia + lots of manass. But pretty good movie. It's gorier then I would expect. For people who like "discovering your own body during adolesence"-type horror movies

Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon

What is to with the yeti making hulk like leaping jumps? Also they switch the Yeti from costume to CGI. As always the CGI looks terrible. The movie is full with standard survival movie cheesy stereotypes.
The synopsis is pretty much stolen from Alive. A football team crashes in the snowy mountains. But instead of having to eat each other they get eaten by a Yeti. Spoiler alert on the cover and why would a Yeti beat someone with his own severed leg?

Sasquatch Hunters

As an horror movie it isn't scary. The deaths aren't gruesome. The Sasquatch just takes them and kills them. It goes on howling territory by giving the Sasquatches some human attributes like having primitive traditions. The synopsis where the archeologist disturb a big foot burial ground is not as original as you might think.

Black Devil Doll

As an socalled "ode to blaxploitation" It's pretty much and ripoff of blaxploitation, they take an gimmick and milk it, without having an actual content.

You always should be suspicious when a film propagates itself as a cult film. Som parts are just campy as hell. Also it could be more violent, but you also can say that about most exploitation films.

A Crack in the Floor

Pretty tame and pretty lame. Almost no blood. The rape scene is fully clothed and the worst part is that Mario Lopez isn't killed on screen.

A Serbian Film
½

Not as prentitious as I thought it would be. The story is intriging and the violence is good.

Soul Men
Soul Men(2008)
½

Some of the parts of the movie where too cheesy and predictable. For the rest it was good.

Leprechaun 4: In Space

The leprechaun is getting better with the sequels. This movie has everything! Space princess boobs, Ltd. Gruber ( Guy Siner ) as a futuristic Dr. Strangelove, spider-man mutation.

Abominable
Abominable(2006)

The twist the two guys arn't gay. For the rest; it is too slow paced for a big foot horror movie, too sentimental for a big foot horror movie.

And the most important thing that is lacking that big foot doesn't rape women to get back at the white man for disturbing his territory. Although in one scene... I...thought...it....was going. I do have the suspicioun it was edited out. Also it isn't entirely clear why big foot is pissed.

Man of Faith
Man of Faith(2002)

The catholics have "the Passion", the Protestant have "Luther" and Leroy Jenkins has "Man of Faith"

Dahmer vs. Gacy

I think this movie will be a letdown for most fans of serial killers, just because it doesn't make sense in a criminal psychogical manner: 1) If you want to breed an ultimate killing machine, you shouldn't clone serial killers, they are not killing machines, they just like to kill for recreational purposes once in a while and then pause for a while and kill again when they feel like it. 2) There has to be pauses in the killing for it being the work of the typical serial killing. When the two serial killers go on a killing spree, there should be a talk of a killing spree and not of serial killing. As a matter of fact the serial killer groupies in the movie, where applauding two spreekillers and they didn't know the murders where by Dahmer and Gacy. 3) See point one it is inlogical for serial killers to go on a killing spree. 4) Charles Manson didn't ever kill anybody, he only shot an black drugs dealer in the stomache, it is highly inlogical for him to bludgeon someone with a meat cleaver.

The parts that made sense in criminal psychological way is that Dahmer and Gacy quarrel among each implying thar each other that the other one is a sicko. There is a clip on the internet where Gacy firmly states he isn't into bdsm and implies bdsm is kind of sick. Serial killers tend to be narcisstic and tend to be tender about their reputations.

The movies was entertaining but it could have used some tits and asses.

Me and the Mob

Before "Gigli" there was Who Do I Gotta Kill? It contains snitching but at least the end isn't as cheesy as in Gigli. Don't bother to watch it for the Sandra Bullock dryhump scene.

Detention
Detention(2003)

Lessons learnt:
1) FOG stands for Fuckable Older Guy
2) The half of the students who have detention are black males
3) Half of the black males that have detention are responsible for impregnating all the white women who have detention
4) The fashion of Brà 1/4no is totally ripped off from the head criminal in this movie
5) The hair of crazytown is totally ripped off from the Hungarian criminal woman in this movie
6) Hungarians arn't the best criminals that you can hire
7) Hungarian criminals dress like cyberpunks
8) Hungarian criminals while interupt your conversation to shout that they don't care for Bosnia.
9) If you're smart enough you can beat a motorcycle with your wheelchair esspecially during a chase inside a highschool.

The movie could be better if Lundgren acted more like he just didn't care anymore and the ultimate climax would be if he delivered the baby.

The Circuit
The Circuit(2002)

Normally I never notice bad dubbing, this time I did. Normally I never notice bad acting, this time I did. Normally I never get annoyed by an obvious running up to a sequel, this time I did.

It took me 5 movies to notice Jean-Claude van Damme's accent, but I noticed Gruner's accent in this one. The acting couldn't woodener than in a gay porn. The only good thing about this movie are the badass nipples of Gail Harris.

Psycho Sisters
½

The pluspoints are: 1) A guy who looks like Sting gets shot in the face 2) Only the farts are computer generated. The acting of Theresa Lynn was annoying, but I have to presume psychotic feminists can be pretty annoying in real life. Could use more T&A.

Cover Up
Cover Up(1990)

What does it take to uncover an international conspiracy to kill thousands of people and blame it on the muslims? One white guy: Dolph Lundgren! And no, Louis Gossett the military-industrial bureaucrat doesn't help at all. He is just in the way all the time.

For the real "brainless action movie"-buff, this movie might be a bit too tame in action and with a too difficult storyline, but well what you gonna do watch a fat Steven Segal air slapping?

Shootfighter: Fight to the Death

Very generic except some pseudo-gory scenes and someone with Hodgkin's disease as an extra.

Gladiator Cop (Gladiator Cop: The Swordsman II)
½

It's obvious this movie was made befor the widespread fame of LARPing. I sure would pay money to see larpers to fight to death. Some of the costumes in thise movie are a bit off, why the hell would you wear a gimp mask to fight in an illegal swordfight? ( Yes. It has the zipper on the mouth ).

The story, the sex scenes are just stereotypical. The only original about the story is the touch of the psychicism and reincarnation.

Camp Hell (Camp Hope)

This horror movie is SO emo

Shadow Glories
½

I must have known from the box cover with the man fighting the woman. That this wasn't a typical boxing movie.

The tone was so melodramatic I thought it would have ended with the woman having to resign, cause of cancer or a brain tumor and that the coach had to take her place. That didn't happen.

*spoiler*
It was an ending I wouldn't have expected. She actually beats her opponent to death. Gets flashes of anger goes on a rampage after being taken in the hospital and kills her coach.

Polanski
Polanski(2007)

Too much from the viewpoint of Roman Polanski. Also Polanski sometimes is portrayed as an Borat like character.

Also Chapa implicates that Anton Lavey was involved in the Tate-murders, because Polanski fired him from being an advisor for "Fearless vampire killers. But well.. You can't say Chapa is unbiased about Anton Lavey, Lavey was on the cover of Damian Chapa's ( not imdb accredited ) conspiracy documentary "Secrets of conspiracies".

Polanski (Polanski Unauthorized)

Too much from the viewpoint of Roman Polanski. Also Polanski sometimes is portrayed as an Borat like character.

Also Chapa implicates that Anton Lavey was involved in the Tate-murders, because Polanski fired him from being an advisor for "Fearless vampire killers. But well.. You can't say Chapa is unbiased about Anton Lavey, Lavey was on the cover of Damian Chapa's ( not imdb accredited ) conspiracy documentary "Secrets of conspiracies".

Observe and Report

This is the first movie with Seth Rogen I have seen. It was rated "For 16 years and older","Violence" and "Sex" ( I know. The rating sytem over here contains spoilers ) So I expected something not too bad.

Rogen is a security guard with some minor mental issues. He tries to join the police but they won't take him, because they only take grey mice.

At the end Rogen is the hero and fuck the police.

The Yin and Yang of Mr. Go

The dvd box cover I have features an old Jeff Bridges and a young James Mason. Of course in the movie it is the other way around.

Bridges plays an army deserting aspiring author who gets caught up in a spy scandal when he blackmails a homosexual american scientist and Mason is a half-mexican half-chinese some kind of crime lord.

In social issues the movie is pretty modern for a movie made in the seventies: for covering issues like gay blackmail and ( attempted ) lesbian rape.

Gurotesuku (Grotesque)
½

Well. I'm not really a big fan of torture porn anyway. This is a pretty standard form. Not too long and not pretentious like saw.

Deadly Target
½

What does it take to bring down the Chinese maffia? Two white guys. Note: One has to be an leather jacket wearing Australian cop from Hong Kong, who doesn't play by the book and the other one has to be an LA cop who plays by the book, until he converts to the ways of the Australian expat from Hong Kong.

It wouldn't be so easy to take down the Chinese maffia, if they wouldn't kill each other off to show loyalty or for not want to work with the Chinese maffia from Hong Kong. I didn't knew asian-on-asian violence was that big in 1994. It doesn't help either that the Chinese don't actually point there guns at their enemies, put just stand still when they empty their guns.

The movie is full of stereotypes but unfortunatly the always drunk asian is missing. For the rest it has it all the stuckup police chief, the cop who plays by the book vs the renegade cop. The action is tame and not enough asian chicks are killed.

Gary Daniels really doesn't come off as an Hong Kong cop ( with his Australian accent and all.....) and I suspect they wanted to hire an asian actor instead.

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation

From what I have read online. I expected to be a pretentious sequel like "Time Cop 2" Also in the beginning with all the upclose shots of the troopers I expected this to be ultra low-budget.

It's pretty good and the twist gives an different view of the movie ( dur ) It could have used more Federation propaganda as padding.

Bridge of Dragons
½

This looks like they got some internet nerd writing the scenario for this; nazi helmets and asian chicks. But then they would have been tits and sex in it. They don't give any backstory and the title doesn't make any sense.

For the rest it's an generic action movie.

Double Team
Double Team(1997)

They only thing that bothers me is the trying to suffocate someone with a plastic bag underwater. BTW you can't count Dennis Rodman''s hair constantly changing hair color as a goof.

I expected sometime like "knockoff" with Dennis Rodman as the Rob Schneider like character. But that isn't quite the deal.

It has some nice twists, Jean Claude van Damme with a wig and a nose piercing and the cybermonks would have deserved a movie of their own. It has 3 anal sex references in the first 10 minutes and basketball references through the whole movie.

The Hitman
The Hitman(1991)

It has some of the funnier islamophobic and child abuse scenes. For the rest it's good. But nothing special.

Fire Over Afghanistan

The tagline should be "Even Afghan warlords hold their guns sideways"

It's more drama than action. Pretty much everything is is cgi'd in this thing. The casting could have been better. C'mon the muslim terrorists where slightly irritated at best and not like the angry as fuck muslims you see everywhere else.

And way to ripoff the hostage for the camera pisses of the muslims bit from, I think "Delta Force"

Blades
Blades(1989)

It could have been a lot funnier for a movie about a killer lawnmower. It has some funny parts. But the funniest part is that my dvd is rated for all ages.

Hacia el Límite
½

The movie could be a lot shorter. If it wasn't for Anna Nichole Smith in the tub, Anna Nichole Smith fucking some dude, Anna Nichole Smith in the shower, Anna Nichole Smith fucking some other dude.

It is not as entertaining as "Skryscraper", mainly because Anna Nichole is less fucking, showering and in the tub in skryscraper. Also the storyline is more complicated that what you would expect from a movie with Anna Nichole Smith.

The action scenes are often unrealistic esspecially in the final scene. You can't do that with an CD-rom. But well probably they didn't know shit about computers in 1995 also the idea of copying an cd-rom is pretty new for most of the people.

Knock Off
Knock Off(1998)
½

Rob Schneider in his BEST serious role EVER! One of the better ninetees action movie. Mainly because it hasn't has a fat Steven Seagal shadow boxing in it.

Wrong Turn
Wrong Turn(2003)

Somehow I like wrong turn 2. This movie takes itself to serious for a horror movie about cannibal mutated rednecks.

Shadow Man
Shadow Man(2006)
½

Generic Steven Seagal. The boxart is shopped to make him look less obese.

It references the MKultra project and looks like it is set in the same place where Wesley Snipes also shot an actiion movie.

Splinter
Splinter(2008)

Characters are a bit stereotyphically the criminal with the golden heart and the nerdy brainiac that turns to be a hero. For the rest it's pretty good.

Asylum
Asylum(2007)

Another of those horror movies that empathizes the angst of teenagers instead getting them killed. It's not over the top emo like "camp hope" But still irritating.

The ghost doctor is inconsistent as well. He's a ghost that can get killed by stabbing him in the head.

Harry Brown
Harry Brown(2010)

Beautiful movie with the kind of plot that never gets boring: the revenge / vigilante plot. It doesn't get cheesy and preachy like the other british vigilante movie outlaw. Michael Caine killing chavs what more do you want.

Trick 'r Treat

Because the most scaring part of halloween is accidently trick or treat a furry party.

Seed of Chucky
½

I prefer this movie to "Bride of Chucky" Both movies are stereotyping the idea of sequels itself "Bride of" / "Seed of" It is less of an classic slasher than Bride of Chucky.

Bride of Chucky

Although the humnour is in my opinion a bit too cheesy / stereotypical it is a good watch. Somehow I got a version which has been cut.

Fist Fighter
Fist Fighter(1989)

Pretty predictable fight movie, so nevermind the spoiler alerts on the dvd box. Some parts look like they are edited with scissors.

The "the beast" charactor is one of the most missmatched charactors in the movie and really? The hero defeats the beast with crotch violence?

No Safe Haven
½

Wings Hauser is not bitter and angry enough in this vigilante movie. The action is pretty tame but it has an boat and a hellicopter.

Gigli
Gigli(2003)

Jennifer Lopez quoting Sun Tzu and talking about ripping eyes out are the most rememberable parts of this movie.
It''s just too cheesy and has too many "full house"-moments. Kidnappers befriending the retard.
Why was this movie made?

Faces of Death

One of the movies notorious in my childhood. Not as gory as it could be. But I think the movie that was notorious iwas actually face of death IV.

Silent Assassins

The good old 80s a simpler time. A time where americanised asian-americans where made fun of and ninjas used to sexual assault Linda Blair.

Well that pretty much sums up the movie. I only note that Linda Blairs only plays the role of the grumpy girlfriend ( see cover ) and Sam Jones actually teams up with 2 Asian guys, one Vietnam vet of which the bad guys accidentaly kidnapped the niece and the Americanised Japanese with a Elvis Presley hairdo, who finds back his Japanese roots when ninjas shoot up his dojo, kill his father and poison one of his white floozies.

* You only get to see Linda Blair in her bra and I'm european I don't know the right spelling for floozie.

The Carrier
The Carrier(1987)

Orginal story to say at least. The dressing up in plastic and the cat issue ruins a bit for me. The special FX arn't that bad.

Cyclone
Cyclone(1987)

Pretty generic 80s movie, the action is tame, weapons look cheap and not a great story. But entertaining for fans.

The Greenskeeper

Good watch, although some of the blood effects are a bit over the top and the slacker friends of the main charactor could use more air time. Now they don't have anything to do with the main story.

Street Crimes

More of a fight movie than an cop movie, it could have been an unofficial sequel of ring of fire.

The story is cheesy, one of the cops is challenged to a fight. Which become a trend, pissing of the hardcore drug dealers.

Why the hell do the gang members wear lumberjack shirts?

Santa's Slay
Santa's Slay(2004)

In my opinion too jolly for a christmas horror movie. But still pretty good, Fran drescher was killed off within 5 minutes. It shouldn't have been more bloody as well.
It could have been a bit longer, at the end some characters seem to have fallen from the sky like the voicebox indian and why do they keep calling it an reindeer when it was an buffalo.

Bloody Murder

I thought this movie was familiar but it turned out I already saw the sequel. Which was a bit better. In this one the girls actually wear bras.
Lesson learned: You can accuse a friend being an psychotic serial killer and still stay best friends.

Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp

Pretty entertaining. Not much to say about the movie.

None of the female characters wore underbras, although I`m not sure about the last scenes. Black guy boasting that the black man always dies first, although one white man already was massacred.

Dead Man's Cards

Bouncer-buddy movie with mobsters. Pretty decent. It has the black guy from the full monty in it as an knuckle dusting bouncer.
Although they could have spend some more money on the flashbacks

Nine Lives
Nine Lives(2002)

This is the typical British low-budget horror movie, if there is one. They somehow got someone like Paris Hilton to play in it, the music is pretentious ( dramatic music playing while searching for a cell phone ), it's full of pretentious talk / debate, annoying accents, golfclubs and off course the typical milimetered british hooligan hairstyle.

The charactors are so annoying you actually hope for them to die. Unfortunately the most annoying bitch ( not Paris Hilton ) dies last. It has one of the cheapest monsters in it, yeah just cgi the eyes black.

If you gonna be British pretentious snobs at least go after the bad guy with a cricket bat.

Nightmare
Nightmare(2007)

I got it for a buck in a series called "Movies from hell" In the same series and for the same price I got a haunted house movie with Paris Hilton.

It's not my kind of movie. It's no that bad. But I would expect more.

Severance
Severance(2006)
½

First of all the Balkan hookers come appear in the movie much TOO LATE. Further they could have gone more into the background of the killers, moving more into 2000 maniacs territory. The story is too inconsistent for the killers to be Soviet Russians, also the film is set in Romania, Hungary or Serbia see the "Balkan hookers" website. But I was rooting for them anywho.

But it was still a good movie, I would have appreciated more T&A and more people to be murdered. Danny Dyer wasn't irritating like I espected.

UKM: Ultimate Killing Machine

They could do so much more with the fact that the mutant soldiers get sexual excited when being aggresive, instead of only dryhumping eachother. For the rest I thought it was nice but not super.

Timecop 2
Timecop 2(2003)

Watchcable, but a bit too pretentieuce and too few action.

If you loved Lizzy McGuire's little brother's head bitten off by an crocodile in Dinocroc. You might like her dad being shot in this one.

Cold and Dark
½

Pretty dark movie. A bit of a "The crow" ripoff.

Proposed alternative titles: "Vigilante ghostcop", "good cop, undead cop"

Serial Killing 101
½

Preditable and the endig is so very lame. It has some nice stock footage though.

Quel maledetto treno blindato (The Inglorious Bastards)

I would say that this movie is better, than the tarantino movie, if i would have bothered to watch it.

It has a good storie and has enough action.

The Mad
The Mad(2007)

Billy Zane vs. Zombies enough said. Plus points no hysterical emotions when loved ones dies. They could have done more with cows.

Bloodsport
Bloodsport(1988)

Good ol' fight movie with hints of political correctness and crotch violence. The most stupid character is the blond journalist though.
What the fuck she goes as a foreigner to Asian authorities to get an traditional fighting tournament banned because she's afraid van Damme gets hurt.

Bandit Queen
Bandit Queen(1995)

From the title I expected an Indian historical version of "I spit on your grave" It did go on that territory for a while. But not very far, I could have known better from the fragments of good reviews from newspapers like the NY times.

She does take revenge in the movie, but I should have been more violent. The story takes too long and it tries to justify itself too much. I would think if decide to become a vigilante bandit, you don't think very much in nuances.

Resident Evil: Extinction

I know nothing about the videogames and the earlier installment. Normally i'm not that into zombie movies.

But I thought it was pretty good. The zombies looked pretty good and it had a followable and entertaining story.

The Attic Expeditions
½

i got it one a 10 movies for 10 bucks pack. I watched it because of Jeffrey Combs. He hasn't got a big role though.

The storyline was a bit hard to follow for me, but mostly because i don't watch these kind of horror movies with mysteries to the story line in it.

After you have watcheed the movie listen to the "Double feature podcast" It explains some of the movie http://www.doublefeatureshow.com/2009/01/joy-ride-attic-expeditions.html

It's Alive
It's Alive(2008)

It could have benn better. I thought it to be slow paced and the baby changes appearance too many times, than it's latex, than it's a toddler and at the end they use CGI.

Bijou Phillips wasn't that bad though.

Vacancy 2: The First Cut

I havn't seen the first. But I thought it was pretty good. The end was a bit too predictable, but that you'll have with a prequel.

House of the Dead

Pretty good. The acting in the beginning could be a bit better. But thank god she is killed off as one of the first.

I'm not very into zombie movies but this one was good.

Delta Farce
Delta Farce(2007)
½

Fairly entertaining. Won the dvd in a european "bad movie" contest. Some jokes arn't funny but i barely laugh at comedy.

Ring of Fire
Ring of Fire(1991)
½

Other than the sequels Don has only one fight in this own, although it is an ego-action-movie. But he bones a white chick in this one.

The stereotypes of white people are funny cryptoracist cryptofacist dago cop "I see your kind likes to stick up for eacother just like in Vietnam" worried about "gangs" duking it out. What a douchebag!

Btw they should have made movies with the small drunk asian character Kwon instead.

JCVD (Van Dammage)

Van Damme wins it from all the other actionmovie stars with this movie. Steven Seagal is fat, Chuck Norris is a cheeseball with his last holocaust themed movie. Van Damme dares too made a witty realistic movie with self-deprecation.

You won't see any others do that.

An American Carol

A bit too preachy and not enough fat and terrorist jokes. Oh well it's not Uwe Boll.

The Dutch version also screwed up the subtitles big time infidels are translated as pagans. And "fire his ass" is translated with "Set his ass on fire"

Firepower
Firepower(1994)

The title doesn`t make any sense, it`s about cage fighting. It even had a continunity screwup that I noticed.

Cyber Tracker
½

Pretty alright a bit of a terminator ripoff.

W.B., Blue and the Bean

Entertaining. Some etnic undertones. SFX might not be the top of the art. But it was still good.

Blood Gnome
Blood Gnome(2004)
½

Proposed alternate title "Troll 4"

Mexican Werewolf In Texas

I always wondered why there wernt any horror movies about Chupacabra. Well this one is but they named it Mexican werewolf.

It's quite an enjoyable film for a b-movie no lame CGI or lame latex monsters. They take up the more "It's alive" approach.

If your gonna be preachy about white against mexican racism. Dont let the mexican kid by a latino not a white guy.

Karla
Karla(2006)
½

Komolka is too portrayed as a victim in this movie. Although the movie is from her perspective.

Laura Pepron looks weird great dyed blonde with a 80s hairdo. But which nonaustralian actress would be. She also has a too markant face in my opinion.

btw I didnt know bernardo was a whigger. But he is hope the Aryan Brotherhood knows about that.

Piñata: Survival Island

Fairly decent mix between CGI and slasher flick, although I prefered they wouldnt use CGI. Some cgi scenes were over the top.

It could have used more tits and asses and maybe more of a novelty title like cinco de mayo island massacre.

I bought it on a 5 movies for 5 bucks dvd. So it's probably not known very widely. So it can be considered to be a secret tip for slasher fanatics.

It containes crotch violence against the boyfriend of Sabrina the teenage witch and includes the white chick from the interrracial couple from my name is earl.

Belly of the Beast

Seagal goes South Asian style, with voodoo, monks and ladyboys.

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown

Bronson does it again! He does a better job busting the drugpusher than snake eater.

A bit unrealistic wouldn`t they recognize his signature mustage and his car. Sometimes they give him too much time. Keep that in mind if your wanna be an vigilante yourself.

Swamp Zombies

Latex zombie horror. Keep it under 90 minutes and next time less obese people.

It has some boobage and assnes though.

Red Dawn
Red Dawn(1984)
½

Its guerilla tactics are unrealistic. Hang around one place? The russians and cubans must have been total dimwits for not catching them.

For the rest it`s a good movie. One of those that needs and foreign remake.

Voodoo Mardi Gras

Pretty nice for an amateur horror movie. Not as annoying as most others.

The girls acting could be a bit beter. The boxcover doesn`t make any sense.

Jungle Holocaust (Ultimo mondo cannibale) (Cannibal) (Carnivorous) (Last Cannibal World)
½

One of the more tamer of the cannibal movies.

Postal
Postal(2007)

Uwe Boll hated by hipsters, gamenerds and whiggerfags, with such enemies you don`t any friends. He`s hated cause it`s hip to hate him. Of course as an European intellectual I understand Boll`s humour and his meanings.

Good movie I expected more nudity. "Insulting" to muslims, jews, germans and fat people. German people can take a joke. Fuck the rest.

Trinity Goes East

Bought it a few years ago from the bargain bin as part of the series kung fu classics. It was nr 16.

Turns out it was the last of the sons of Bambino ( Bud Spencer ) and Trinity ( Terrence Hill ) Low budget and pretty entertaining.

Men of War
Men of War(1994)
½

It is possible an ethical ecological concious action movie without Steven Seagal.

It has some unconventional scenes for an action movie, hacked of hand and blown off legs.

Mercenary for Justice
½

Steven Seagal being Steven Seagal

King Of The Ants

Torture-Revenge as good as it can be.

The plot slightly reminds me of the book "Der Held" by Alfred Neumann but only slighty.

The Shunned House
½

Low budget suspense but pretty good.

The House That Screamed
½

Microbudget suspense but it has some good points some scenes are just hilarious like the fat chick that wants to get fucked and were he is attacked by a play doll.

Detour
Detour(2002)
½

Good one, a bit of a ripoff of wrong turn but still good. They really should have stuck with the other titles like "Hell`s Highway Cannibal detour"

In Europe for sale as "Hell`s highway" but with a worse cover, with standing with the group with a gun. Although he never returned to the group when he had the gun.

Demon Summer
Demon Summer(2003)

The acting wasn`t that irritating. But well no mentionable special effects.

What is it with whiggers is b-horror movies.

Black Brigade

Richard Pryor in a serious race movie. But it`s Alright

Addio zio Tom (Goodbye Uncle Tom)

It sure beats Roots and Confederate States of America in anti-white propaganda.

Although it shows the white working man getting screwed, cause all the jobs go to slaves.

Intresting fact is the director made the movie after they were accused of racism because of the movie africa addio. Be sure to watch it with your black friends ( if you`re male don`t risk it when you`re female. )

Combat Shock (Fuerza en combate)

'What to say "Dystopia" ?

Vietnam vet, deformed baby, nagging wife, money problems, urban decay.

Shredder
Shredder(2003)

Entertaining decent slasher. Could have used more gore and more nudity.

The story is a bit stereotypical "I told you not to go up to that mountain!" and victims that annoy in the first ten minutes. The soundtrack is a bit too 90s melodic punkrock, could have used any other kind of music.

You`d expect if a girl gets chased by an axe murderer she put some pants instead of just underpants with a puma motive.

Rise and Fall of Idi Amin

Sure refreshing after watching 2 and a half hours of caligula.

Entertaining not overblown with the gore. Sometimes the dialogue is a bit childish. But overall a good movie

Caligula
Caligula(1979)

Pretty good movie, something different than the historic infotainment Hollywood spews out most of the times.

Pretty graphic, but probably how it was, not suitable for the infotainment crowd.

Maniac Cop
Maniac Cop(1988)

Awesome. Action-Horror movie exactly what you can expect from such a title

Yellowneck
Yellowneck(1955)

Survival movie from the 1955. Entertaining. Being a deserter isn@t the easiest way out.

Public Domain http://www.archive.org/details/Yellowneck1955cosmo

Duck! The Carbine High Massacre

Pretty decent for an amateur movie, witha $5000 dollar budget.

It could have done funnier and the special effects could be better. This movie needs a remake.

SnakeEater II: The Drug Buster

"No fear whitey is here" action movie. Big whitey is selling some hybrid posoin/drugs to the black community. Little whitey kills them.

Not overly political correct. The rich white drug dealers let it look if it was the sequel to "Panther"

SnakeEater
SnakeEater(1989)

I expected more of an urban scenario. But it`s another anti-redneck movie by a jewish (?) director.

Lamas isn`t almighty as the action hero and it has some funny/unconventional scenes.

The Cutter
The Cutter(2005)

Holocaustianity in an Chuck Norris movie. Too preachy, too less action.

Boa vs. Python

Pretty entertaining, more so than Dinocrock. Angel Boris is hot.

It has some T&A and even an oral sex scene. Boa vs Girl.

Black Dawn
Black Dawn(2005)

Say what you want about Steven Seagel movies what you want. But at least they don`t have Wesley Snipes doesn`t bang generic white chick in them.

We had an lesbian Arab muslim terrorist in Flight of fury before, now there are nordic looking/baltic looking "muslim" terrorists in this one. Steven Seagal keeps fighting those stereotypes.

Horrors of War

It`s actually quite enjoyable for a post-2000 b-movie. It doesn`t have the excessive padding and even better it doesn`t have Emily Haack.

The soldiers look a bit obese, but well they are Americans.

The Germans can`t even speak understandable German. There is even is a German POW wearing a wifebeater-tanktop with a German eagle on it, they didn`t have those in the reich

They use real weapons of the second world war that`s why they gently lay it down when they get shot. The panzerwagon is property of one of the directors. Sometimes it really looks like a ww2 reanactment group is making a zombie movie.

Further to say it`s a nazi zombie latex horror movie.

Saw III
Saw III(2006)

A gore movie with moral dilemmas and cheap emotional dillemas. Not my cup of tea.

The moral is revenge is bad? It is only revenge if you do it yourself, otherwise it just poetic justice.

Yes blind emotional revenge isn`t very useful. But if you are thinking about revenge think strategy too.

Out of Reach
Out of Reach(2004)

An Steven Seagal movie with a little more depth [sic] First I was a bit critical cause it was rated 12 years and older and the subtitle was "He`s back and he is on deadly ground"

Plot: Steven Seagal lives alone in the isolatedwilderness and his only joy is writing to an underage girl in Poland. He suspects something and he goes to Poland and uncovers an child prostitution plot between the Polack mafia, the Turkish embassy, the adoption agency.

Conclusion: Steven Seagal - Polack mafia/Turkish Mafia/Adoption agency 1-0

How the hell does a eagle get in a bear trap?

Death Race 2000

Classick! Futuristic race movie with gore.

The Island of Dr. Moreau

+ Marlon Brando has a deformed minime
+ Val Kilmer does a Marlon Brando impression
+ Mutating Iranian chick

FIVE STARS

Ginger Snaps
Ginger Snaps(2001)

Finally a teen horror movie for chicks. Hmm I must be getting old. But It was OK

I got screwed by the dvd-cover probaby an translation error. It said felt up / sexually harassed by a werewolf. Also it put some of the gory pictures of the girls photo class on the cover.

The Evil Dead
½

Normally I`m not very keen on zombie movies. But this was a good one.

Not like dressing up with latex masks like we see too often.

Water's Edge
Water's Edge(2004)

The shot wounds are a bit unrealistic, not enough blood. But further than that it`s a nice movie

The Hard Corps

Van Damme goes "Bodyguard" but instead of whitney Houston we have a black ex boxer. A bit slow.....The only enjoyable part was when a black guy cut someones liver out and fed it to the dogs.

Death Wish
Death Wish(1974)
½

Classic Revenge flick. They should make more revenge flicks.

The Detonator
½

Minus one star for Wesley Snipes banging that Romanian chick.

Flight of Fury

Why should I foulmouth this movie. It`s Steven Seagal.

Surprisingly although set in Afghanistan the muslims arn`t stereotypical. Interracial lesbian sex with black woman and arab bulldyke terrorist. Hmm maybe the Taleban wasn`t that bad after all. One of the good guys shouts Allah u Akbar and kiss my Arab ass. An Arab in Afghanistan screaming kiss my arab ass, maybe the muslims don`t just love each other like we thought.

Leave it to Steven Seagal to break down stereotypes.

Outlaw
Outlaw(2007)

Great movie! Good story great moral. Leniency is punished and of course if you want something done do it yourself and never expect anything of anybody.

A few glitches like the lynching part it`s pratically impossible not to leave dna on a rope. You would have to buy it wearing gloves and handle it wearing gloves. And it maybe would be better to have more of a background of a social unrest.

The goofy security guard reminds me of Kenan of The Office UK, and off course they made him racist because of politicial correctness. Just like the bar brawlers were racist and a victim is a black man.

Amazonia: The Catherine Miles Story (Schiave bianche: violenza in Amazzonia)
½

Pretty tame. No people eating. Some exploding heads and axehandling.

The part were she was shocked by a puma eating monkey was unrealistic. She saw her parents beheaded for christ sake.

Emanuelle e gli ultimi (Edited Version) (Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals) (Trap Them and Kill Them)

Good soundtrack and on of the worst sex scenes.

Good

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End

Great movie. Finally real good gore. Never underestimate imbreth toxic rednecks.

Motor Home Massacre

You can say a lot about this movie, but one thing is for sure it has the worst sex scene ever in it. Sometimes the acting is awful too. Are the actresses in porn yet?

The whigger guy is really obnoxious. The clichés are too overblown like the creepy shop clerk and how come in movies racists always have the hots for black women.

The ending is suprising.

Desert Heat
Desert Heat(1999)

Good old plain action.

Although some of the minority characters are overblown. An Indian chant during a bullet removal with a hook? That`s not a sacred Indian ritual.

The rednecks arn`t overblown except for the "Got meth?" t-shirt. They even run a redneck maffia.

What I learned of this movie: If you steal JC van Damme`s motorcycle he`s gonna round up your redneck mob.

Somehow JC vav Damme`s accent is noticable and the coyote calls are badly dubbed.

Critters 2: The Main Course

The best on of the Critters tetralogy! Critters 1 was a bit to stereotypical famil horror. 2 has more action and more horror.

Critters 4: They're Invading Your Space

Suprising end to the Critters tetralogy. Very dark and grown up for a critters movie with an Aliens and maybe star wars touch. They wear darth fader styled helmets.

With references to technocratic bureacracy and cooperate greed and even some slight nudity ( ass and sideboob )

Critters 3
Critters 3(1991)
½

Seems like the Critters don`t thrive that well in an urban enviroment. Body count only one but well there wern`t that many of them.

Executive Action

A more unknown JFK-conspiracy movie. Intresting it fictionalizes how it could have happened.

Slugs
Slugs(1987)

It begins a bit slow but it`s a good movie. One scene grossed me out and that only happened one time.

Maniac Cop 2
Maniac Cop 2(1990)

Good entertainment and a good sequel of the first movie.

Check out the credits they play the "Maniac Cop"-rap LULZ that`s the 80s alright

It Lives Again

Well it`s a worthy sequel only they shouldn`t show the babies too much they look like shaved Chuckies.

Just as the first movie it is intresting from a darwinist perspective, even a bit more than the first one.

It's Alive
It's Alive(1973)

Are the mother`s cheap emotions always the best guideline? Answer: No! The rational thinking dad is the hero.

The movie is pretty sober and not over the top. But a good watch

Who's Your Daddy
½

Storyline unoriginal and predictable. The stereortypical subcharacters are overblown though not funny.

Skyscraper
Skyscraper(1995)

The parts were Anne Nicole Smith flies the copter don`t look realistic. They just show the same shot of her hand, and I think I even saw the real pilot, to the right when she was flying with her boyfriend.


ad acting some silly characters, but well it has some T&A.

Chopped Off: The Man Who Lost His Penis

Nice documentary so don`t try to find this movie at your local gore video shop.

OK it`s weird that a documentary about a guy who`s penis get`s chopped off gets 1 star from the female audience and 4 stars from the male audience

Sometimes They Come Back...Again

Not much to say. Jewish-Satanic rituals and Jennifer Aspen`s boobs. I imagined they would be bigger.

Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning

If you are looking for the best Finnish science fiction, don`t search anymore.

The computer graphics arn`t overdone. And it has his funny parts.

Ghoulies
Ghoulies(1985)

This movie was made before the movie gremlins. The socalled story isn`t really based around the ghoulies. But it catched my intrest in the sequels. Who are bound to be more about the ghoulies.

Not many action almost nothing really happens some biting but not really nasty stuff.

Ghoulies II
Ghoulies II(1988)

Better than one. But still pretty lame comparing to Critters and Gremlins.

The Glow
The Glow(2002)

A suspense thriller about creepy old people with jewish names. I`m not very into suspense but it was pretty good.

Some scenes didn`t make really sense, when one victim was hiding under the stairs, where she was very visible but she wasn`t seen. And the part were she is freaked out by dead bodies in garbage bags, if she is so freaked out why does she open more bags with more dead bodies.

Heh heh and I like that the body doubles were in the credits: "man making love" "woman making love"

2001 Maniacs
2001 Maniacs(2005)

The character are more over the top than in 2000 maniacs, although they have 2 black guys and in the beginning there is jewish looking guy with a goatee standing in the southern crowd and I don`t see a reason why they should eat the Yankees there are ghosts and ghosts don`t eat people.

The part where the black saids to the white southerners is a bit too overly political correct.

But the southerners are still righteous to kill all the Yankee rich folks.

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

The computer animated shark really paved the way for movies like "dinocroc" and "frankenfish"

Although the movie doesn`t take itself so overly serious like thos two movies, it is funnier, more entertaining, and the shark hasnt got the oh-look-how-great-we-are-with-
computers-look. So it deserves a beter rating than frankenfish and dinocroc.

Africa Addio (Adios Africa) (Africa Blood and Guts)
½

Amazing documentary. But I think I have the soft version.

I.R.A.: King of Nothing

The story reminds me of `The iron heel` It has an good moral, the lone wolf who has been betrayed by everyone, but keeps on fighting.

Well it is definetly pro-irish the british loyalists are a portrayed as a bunch of whiggers, chavs and decadent fat cats.

The end was very touching.

Trekkies
Trekkies(1999)

Intresting I`m not a star treck fan. But funny to see how some fans are.

I didn`t know that the Klingon language is based on ancient Hebrew.

Satan's Cannibal Holocaust

Lame. Somehow they succeed in making a post-2000 b-horror movie less gruesome, less graphic and less entertaining than the average b-horror movies in the 70s,80s and 90s.

The good part is Emily Haack is killed in the first three minutes of the movie

Fuehrer Ex (Führer Ex)

Unrealistic and over-the-top not even close to the "real" story. And why did they change that his mother is a communist functionary who gets banged all the time.

Mannequin
Mannequin(1987)



Ok not that bad, Kim Catrall as a mummy and a guy falls in love with an plastic fashion doll. Welcome in the 20th century.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker

It is Christmas themed and Mickey Rooney wears a Santa Claus suit. That is silent night deadly night enough for me. Only the somewhat weird twist in the last ten minutes is a bit weird, but well you could figure from some indications.

Savage Messiah
½

Some scenes seem to be a bit displaced like the hockey-star-cock talk and when someone comes in the welfare office with her arm cut off, get her to the freaking hospital. Not start to ask therapeutic questions.

Conspiracy Theory

Mel Gibson as a paranoid taxi-driver who seems to be right.

Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World

I can`t believe this was even supposed to be a comedy

Nomad
Nomad(2007)

Good historical war film. With old time warrior values you don`t see a lot anymore. It shows the founding of Kazakhstan, where finally the Kazkakh people can live and breed on their ancient homeland.

Everyone who has seen Borat should see this movie. But thank god I didn`t watch freaking Borat.

Panther
Panther(1995)

The good thing about this movie is that Chris Rock didnt have a bigger part.

I Spit on Your Corpse, I Piss on Your Grave
½

15 minutes of a story for the rest just allot of crap pschycadalic crap footage. For a rape victim and sexual intimidation victim Emily Haack still can act as an spoilt bitch.

Guest House Paradiso

A little less radioactive vomit would be nice but further a nice movie.

Hitler: The Rise of Evil

This movie is so historical incorrect I don`t know where to start. If Hitler really was a bad man you wouldn`t have to exagoriate his behaviour or tell just plain lies.

Troll 2
Troll 2(1990)
½

A lot better than Troll 1. More tempo and less fantasy crap.

Troll
Troll(1986)

too much fantasy too less horror

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

In the first part there is a lot of stock footage of the first movie. So if you buy the double feature DVD watch part 2 first.

Two minor errors
-In the first movie the brothers are called Chapman and in part two Caldwell
-In the first part the Santa who got shot was father O`Reilly and in the second part it was the janitor.

Eric Freeman is a beter psycho then the first actor. That`s a plus.

Sakura Killers

Retro 80s ninja/action movie. Somehow it tries to show ninja as some kind of way of life. But at the same time three westerners just become ninjas in a few days to be ninjas for a few days untill they have the secret videotape back. Were VHS videos ever used anywhere to put secret encoded information on it. And it doesn`t make sense that the tape is just shot gunned when the colonel has it. They could have just destroyed it before they had the three multiracial ninjateam fighting against one single asian ninja.

Cannibal Ferox

Not very gory. A kind of Cannibal Holocaust light and what do you know primitive tribes of the Amazons have hooks. Now we have learned something from this movie

You Don't Mess With the Zohan

Worst Adam Sandler movie ever and there wasn really no need to show his naked ass.

Suicide Club
Suicide Club(2002)

Good suspense but don`t expect good special effects or gory stuff.

CSA: The Confederate States of America

Pick on the south how original. Somehow I thought this was a Spike Lee movie

Malcolm X
Malcolm X(1992)

Of course full of errors but what do you expect from Spike Lee. His speciality for all is racemixing flicks. He shouldn`t be allowed to touch the works of the good black man Malcolm X.

-Malcolm`s first conk wasn`t in a barber shop
-He didn`t have a serious relation with Laurie
-That white liberal chick came to a restaurant were he was and went out crying
-In his book he said that Shorty became fat as an hog from eating hog and still had a white woman. In the movie he is later on shown as average
-He didn`t propose over the telephone
-He wasn`t arrested after he stuck his head in the toilet

The Second Civil War
½

The federal government attacks Idaho for refusing to let more immigrants in. The rest of the states of America are mostly composed of single foreign ethnic groups of which the Chinese of Rhode Island support Idaho. The Alamo gets blown up by Mexicans.

This is probably what America is going to look like in the future.

Book of Shadows - Blair Witch 2

I thought it was pretty good. Nice twist.

Savage Beach
Savage Beach(1989)

I ordered it online and they didnt show the cover. I expected some c-movie ripoff of a canniball horror b-movie. It was a disapointment

Kike Like Me
Kike Like Me(2007)

I never saw a jew so critically about the holocaustmemorial-industry. Of course the jews think it`s weird how pathetic the goyim act about world war II

Obsession: Radical Islam's War Against the West

Lame. They even try to tie the fact that in Islamic lands people still use to Bellamy salute, that they are secret arabnazis.

Die Weisse Massai (The White Massai)

A rich white spoilt bitch gets jungle fever in africa. She falls in love and the first sex is 30 seconds doggy style ( If a white guy would try that a woman would get out screaming rape )
Later she gets knocked up and still acts like an elephant in a porcelain store, which doesn`t work her husband gets bad and she flees back with a biracial child as a present for her home country who gave her all of her wealth and her knowledge. Her husband lives now hapilly with two wives and she never found a man ever to touch her.

The movie protrays as some noble woman, who doesn`t understand the bad massasi. The truth is she is a spoilt bitch who thinks the whole indigious community should adjust to her. And when it doesn`t go her way she packs her bags and insists that her motherland will take care of her and her biracial brethen now.

Super Troopers

The part where the guy fucks the bear is so touching it really made me cry

A Night at the Roxbury
½

Extra half star for the music

Beerfest
Beerfest(2006)

After seeing the first part I was expecting the ultimate skullrape of German culture. But it turned out not that bad. And when the fat guy drowned in the beertank it really made me cry.

Submission: Part I

The partily nudity, Van Gogh saw everything as sex, and the horribly Dutch accent are the worst parts, heck they couldn`t find a muslim/arab woman playing the part.

Arranged marriages are more a cultural thing than a religious thing as well.

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

So touching the part Neil Harris Patrick stole their car made me cry

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

The part of them being actually in Guantanamo Bay could be a bit longer. And the part were Neil Patrick Harris died made me crie. But it turns out George W. Bush is actually a good guy

Another Gay Movie

An homosexual american pie ripoff including bondage and rodents inserted in the ass. If I was gay I would be ashamed, does this really encourage gay liberation?

Confessions of a Nazi Spy

Typical paranoid propaganda movie, no wonder they got so paranoid during the cold war, and a piece of slander against the American-German bund. Of course in real life non of the bundists were even convicted of German spionage

Tarzan Triumphs

I can`t believe an Austrian directed this piece of junk. And more unbelievable it is that is dubbed and released in German after the war. The ultimate humiliation for Germany.

Completly unrealistic c`mon the Nazis in the jungle to enslave Pandrians. Who have a great simularity with what the jews think they are: A people of great knowledge who just want to be alone. Well the Pandrians actually lived isolated in an undiscovered part of the jungle. You can`t say that about the jews. The funny part in real life the Nazis treated the exotic people many more respect than the Anglo-Americans.

The Believer
The Believer(2002)

The only good scenes are where the jew is jeaulous of Billy Zane`s large cock and the part where the self-hating tries to form philosemitic racialism

Fitna
Fitna(2008)

Actually very lame. If you are a an anti immigration politician, why do you use footage of the middle east. Which is non of your business.

Aftermath: Unanswered Questions from 9/11

Pretty good and critical and expected some 9/11 conspiracy theory.

Protocols of Zion

Considering everything which is closely jew critical as an anti jewish conspiracy theorie, because of the book "the protocols of zion" is just demagogic.

American History X
½

C`mon a guy gets anti-racist from prison? Prison is usually the place where people become racist. And the typical stereotype he meets one black guy who he thinks is alright. He dumps every believe he believed in

A Time to Kill

Rednecks and interracial rape ? Look up the statistics!

Made in Britain

Go that movie was lame. What the hell was the point? Just something about a young criminal just dressed up like a skinhead movie to atract the beavis and butthead crowd.

Cannibal Holocaust

Not as nasty as I presumed. Even with a good moral about media hypocracy

Uncle Saddam
Uncle Saddam(2000)

Worst american propaganda movie since "Tarsan against the nazis"

Two Thousand Maniacs!

Best confederate revanchist horror movie ever.

Romper Stomper

Postwar rightwing extremism is such a beautifull thing but look now what they made of it