pisheep's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Lord Save Us From Your Followers
½

This is frankly a must-see for anyone calling themselves Christian for it begs the question: "How is it that you can call yourself Christian and not be very Christ-like?" It is a powerful rebuke to the Church and a challenge to live up our common calling.

The Ten
The Ten(2007)

I am mostly reviewing this to save anyone else from making the same mistake I did of saying "Hey, a series of irreverent but hilarious" vignettes on the 10 Commandments by an all-star cast, maybe I could use that! No, no you cannot. No great depth about the commandments is to be gained here and to call these hilarious is really just to cheapen the word. There is barely even a chuckle here. I only finished it to make sure that it was void and without form. It was.

Gojira
Gojira(1956)
½

It may be hard to imagine a Godzilla movie being good given what a joke they later became, but the original is a poignant critique of the nuclear age with Hiroshima and Nagasaki looming large in the psyche. Like all good monster movies, it begs the question, who is the real monster here?

The War Game
The War Game(1966)

A brilliant mockery of the safety videos that told children to hide under their desks during a nuclear attack. This "documentary" called nuclear powers and their citizens to contemplate the real impact of nuclear war and reminds us that indeed "war is hell."

Quintet
Quintet(1979)
½

This perhaps serves best as a cautionary tale on why it is dangerous for one person to write, produce, and direct a film. Sure it allows you to have complete artistic freedom but it also means that there is no one in a place to point out when things aren't really working. The plot itself feels like a less successful combination of the Most Dangerous Game and the Seventh Seal all set in a civilization crumbling in the midst of an ice age. The set work is good, the oddly Medieval costuming is at least well done, and Newman's performance is adequate for the character but that isn't really a complement. Ultimately this never really gets to where it was trying to go.

Saint Ralph
Saint Ralph(2005)
½

This is rather predictable which is the case with pretty much every sports movie ever made. On the upside, this is at least enjoyable which cannot be said of pretty much every sports movie ever made. The religious material is interesting though I'm not sure how I would use it again.

About a Boy
About a Boy(2002)

So apparently I had marked this as "not interested" at some point but after Katie watched it about 10 times while sick last week, I finally gave it a try and was pleasantly surprised. It definitely has some preaching potential on he "no man is an island" theme.

Though I am not particularly a Hugh Grant fan, I do have to agree wit h the Chicago Reader's review that "Few movies have made better use of [his] shallow charm and amused befuddlement."

The Masque of the Red Death
½

I appreciate the way that Corman combines "Hop-Frog" and "The Masque of the Red Death" into one narrative; the two fit together fairly well but in the end his additions create an entirely new narrative that has less to do with the original short story than the title would suggest. Price is at his diabolical best here even if the religious themes that draw that our are a little muddled.

Cold Souls
Cold Souls(2009)
½

This film had great potential to explore what exactly is the soul of a person, but ultimately it passes on the opportunity to do so. If it weren't for the fact that he tells us that he feels different, there really would be no telling that the Giamatti character is in any way affected by losing his soul. This film could have used either a bit more development or trimming down into a short film. As it is, it fall rather flat.

Zardoz
Zardoz(1974)
½

This is mostly a mess. Boorman tries to do too much: criticize hippie-commune culture, comment on the banality of immortality, critique the roll of religion and status in social stratification, etc. Mostly what results is a confused muddle that has become a cult classic because it is bizarre mix of comedy, distopian science fiction, pornography, and above all, Sean Connery in a giant red diaper for most of the film.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
½

This hasn't aged all that well. The establishment vs anti-establishment theme falls flat 35 years later and the mental health field has greatly changed in the mean time. I suppose we could credit the film (and the book on which is based) for raising some of the questions that led to those changes, but it still leaves us with a film that no longer seems particularly relevant. Moreover, the cultural icon of repressive Nurse Ratched is greatly exaggerated from it's origin.

True Grit
True Grit(2010)

The acting is good, the story is entertaining, and then it is over. I enjoyed watching this latest offering from the Coen brothers but I find that it's impact is over as soon as the credits roll. Perhaps there is supposed to be a certain irony to the fact that the soundtrack consists largely of an arrangement of "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms" played softly while bloody vengeance is metered out without any apparent consequence, but mostly I find that the film doesn't ask us to think and I probably won't think about it again.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
½

This is a delightfully dark comedy from Finland about the disturbing part of the Santa Claus story that we so often overlook. It has no particular lasting impact, but it is at least an enjoyable Christmas diversion.

Up
Up(2009)

This provides a good lesson on the gap between popular heroes and actual heroism while being entertaining at the same time. While not Pixar's best work, it gets points for tackling some weightier material.

King of California

This is a Quixotic tale of a father & daughter pair where the daughter is the real parent among the two. As a character tale, the film hinges more on the work of Douglas and Wood than the story, which is good as the acting is great while the story has a few (mostly minor) bumps along the way.

Up Syndrome
Up Syndrome(2010)

This portrait of a year in the life of the director's childhood friend, Renee, does an excellent job of humanizing people with Down Syndrome. He does an excellent job to show that Renee is a normal person with the same kind of hopes and dreams as the rest of us. It reminds me very much of my own friends--both those who have DS and those who do not.

The Day the Earth Stood Still
½

A classic that stands out from the glut of terrible flying saucer movies of the time. While it is clearly rooted in the fears of the Cold War, it is still relevant sixty years later.

Metropia
Metropia(2010)

The animation work on this is spectacular. However, the plot has one too many holes for it to fully deliver. It follows in the vein of the great distopian sci-fi that has gone before it, but ultimately it is hard to say what they are warning us about: the dangers of dandruff shampoo? international rail lines? transnational corporations with misguided plots to control the minds of call center employees? It is all a little muddled and ends up not really going much of anywhere.

Repo! The Genetic Opera
½

This was fun but ultimately forgettable. It gets a little muddled at time as to whether it is about genetics or organ transplants and ultimately fails to really provide a coherent point. That said, it was enjoyable and the revival atmosphere in the opera scene towards the end has some potential for later use once I find a Bible study that doesn't mind me using Repo! The Genetic Opera as conversation starter.

The Hidden Fortress (kakushi-toride No San-akunin)
½

It is not the strongest of Kurosawa's works, but it is still respectable. Lucas has cited it as essential to inspiring Star Wars IV and it is worth watching if only for that.

Dead Snow (Død snø)

While the Nazi Zombies were evil, intelligent, and coordinated in a way that is new to the zombie genre, I was ultimately underwhelmed. This plays very much like your traditional teen scream flick and contains none of the commentary on the human condition that has become the hallmark of the genre. The film also has one of the latest horror tropes I love to hate: the film geek all too aware that he is in a horror film.

Blindness
Blindness(2008)

This is "Lord of the Flies" with adults and a pandemic instead of children and a plane crash. It is an interesting examination of the morality under pressure and the conflicting roles of power and cooperation in society. The actors and the director tried a little too hard and as a result sometimes the piece feels forced. Still, it is worth seeing if you appreciate the bleakness of dystopian science fiction.

Let the Right One In
½

This is a powerful and dark addition to the Vampire genre that does a good job of exploring the issue of humanity relevant to both blood sucking vampires and school bullies alike.

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

This excellent examination of the effects of greed upon the soul goes on my short list of "movies that will preach." While I noticed a few filming errors, what I didn't notice was that I was watching a black & white film from 1948. There are a few films that can stand the test of time and this is one of them.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

An interesting revival of the morality play device of the deal with the devil. There is also an interesting complementary plot about the the sins of the parents and the desire to protect children as they come-of-age. It is amazing how well they managed to adapt after Ledger's death in the middle of shooting though it would be interesting to see what the original vision looked like.

The Crazies
The Crazies(1973)
½

The film seems a bit dated and the acting leaves something to be desired thus making it rank low among Romero's other work. That said, it does a decent job of exploring the social elements of a crisis and asking the question "To whom does the title refer?"

Rockabilly Vampire
½

This is every bit as horrible as it sounds. It looks like it was filmed with a camcorder on about a $2000 budget in the director's apartment staring his roommates. As a B-movie, the concept is entertaining, but it hovers on the line between so bad it is good and just plain bad.

Mary and Max
Mary and Max(2009)

This is one of the most visually stunning claymation pieces I have ever seen. The level of detail is incredible. All that work goes to support a great story that is simultaneously touching, humorous, and distributing. It is an excellent study on the human condition in which we all have warts and asks the question "If we fix all our imperfections, are we still the same people?"

The Omega Man
½

This is a much more heavy-handed adaptation of the Matheson novella and reversal of the pitchforks and torches monster movie trope.It rides the edge of quality with some good establishing shot and set work counter balanced by too much of Heston running around shirtless and an overly cheesy Family all while under developing the "user of the wheel" aspect that had much more potential than was realized.

The Last Man on Earth
½

Vincent Price is, well Vincent price, his own unique combination of brilliant and cheese. Still, this is an interesting reversal of the monster movie trope that (as I understand) sticks much closer to the Matheson novella.

Star Trek
Star Trek(2009)
½

While the alternate time line/time travel bit was a cop out and while I had serious doubts early on given the obvious, and cheesy product placement, still, this turned out to be a worthy reboot of the franchise.

American Zombie
½

This mockumentary had so much potential but in the end it failed to deliver. They set up some good steams to use the zombie trope to look at immigration and civil rights issues, but never followed them to the end.

Crazy Heart
Crazy Heart(2009)
½

This was alright. It wasn't great or horrible and there were some good performances by Gyllenhaal and Bridges but in the end I think it is mostly forgettable. I did appreciate that they resisted making it overly sentimental, which wouldn't have been hard to do.

Shutter Island

Scorsese stepped out of his comfort zone with this psychological thriller and I appreciate that. However, in the end it just didn't deliver and it certainly doesn't stand up to the rest of his work. Still, it was entertaining and brings up some good questions about the mind's ability to create it's own reality.

Survival of the Dead

Based on the trailer, I fully expected this to be an abomination that marred Romero's legacy. I was pleasantly surprised that it holds its own among the others. This is the "Dawn" section of Romero's reboot, though in many ways it returns to the core theme of Night with its insistence that humankind's greatest enemy is humankind. It will be interesting to see where he takes the reboot from here.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

This was fair, not great, but not terrible either. I think its greatest accomplishment was helping me realize that Michael Cera is swiftly becoming this generation's John Cusack.

The Fountain
The Fountain(2006)

The cinematographers did a good job of avoiding cgi and instead relying on more organic effects; for that they deserve some credit. Unfortunately, they lose points because the film's basic premise seems to be "There is a light at he end of the tunnel" and since most of the film is set in the tunnel, this means that it was filmed almost entirely in the dark. It tackles some heavy material on death, sacrifice, and rebirth but unfortunately, I think it aims higher than it actually manages to deliver.

Gran Torino
Gran Torino(2009)

Eastwood gives a solid performance but it wouldn't be worth much without the lesser knowns like Bee Vang, Ahney Her, and Christopher Carley that help fill out this little morality play. The film has some ministry applications for discussion on a host of issues (death, forgiveness, and self-sacrifice to name a few). This is definitely going on my shortlist.

Seven Pounds
Seven Pounds(2008)

It is hard to say much about this without spoiling it for those who haven't seen it. However, you can see the "surprise" ending coming a mile away so in that regard is is perhaps hard to spoil. Still, it is worth a watch and has good application for a discussion on penitence.

The Blind Side

One of a very few handful of sports movies that are worth watching and even watching again. It has good application for a small group discussion on the meaning of family and honor.

Fido
Fido(2007)

This movie does an excellent job of satirizing both the zombie genre and, like any good zombie movie, society itself. They have done an excellent job to keep both streams going and not let either the humor or the commentary dominate the other.

District 9
District 9(2009)
½

A convicting look at the old (and I do mean Old Testament) theme of how we treat the traveler, stranger, and alien (!) in our midst. It may have been a bit heavy handed at times, but the fact that we've been making this same mistake since Sodom means that maybe we need to be heavy handed until we get it.

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Hmm... I'm not entirely sure what to say about this to be honest. I takes a few shots at corporations like Blackwater, but that really is a minor part of the story. It was enjoyable which perhaps is all that it needs to be. I will say that I enjoyed Obi Wan training to be a "Jedi" in a completely different context.

Sunshine Cleaning
½

The film has some great acting by by the cast and the basic premise and characterization are good; however, it turned out to be a film I wanted to like more than I did. It just seemed to be missing something that can't be made up for with quirkiness.

WALL-E
WALL-E(2008)
½

Another solid Pixar performance. It took some flack for its environmental preachiness, but what I found much more fertile was the commentary on a society that has become overly reliant on machines. It is iRobot for the children.

Thank You for Smoking

We could also call this Tao and the Art of Spin. A solid performance by Eckhart in a film that takes on both the nanny state and a culture in which truth is determined by the highest bidder.

Bubba Ho-Tep
Bubba Ho-Tep(2003)

This movie is exactly what you would think. Geriatric Elvis and "Jack Kennedy" fighting an Egyptian mummy who has come back to life and is feeding on the souls of the other patrons in their nursing home. So if that sounds horrible to you, you will hate this. If that sounds awesome to you, you will not be disappointed.

Avatar
Avatar(2009)
½

It is nice to see a return to the classic sci-fi formula that uses a future setting to help us tackle the issues of the present (in this case the environment and the ethics of corporate armies). There is no doubt that the movie is visually stunning (though the 3D really was just an interesting but unnecessary oddity) but at times it relies on that to prop up the rather predictable plot. Overall, however, it was worth the viewing.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

This movie is every bit as bad as you would think. That is exactly why it makes such good fodder for MST3K. Merry Christmas!

Away From Her

If you haven't seen a family go through the strain of Alzheimer's, then this movie will give you a little window into that world. If you have, then there is little reason to see this movie.

Army of Darkness
½

It is hard to beat a Bruce Campbell--both as the king of the B-movie and when he's got a chainsaw instead of a hand. I got a chance to see this on the big screen and it was great.

Zombieland
Zombieland(2009)
½

The comparisons to Shaun of the Dead aren't fair, this is a very different movie. While it certainly has its comedic elements, it still manages to be a serious zombie movie and ask some of the the important questions that zombie films ask.

Diary of the Dead

This is not Romero's best effort. The social commentary just never quite hit the target in the same way that previous films did. That is made even more disappointing by the fact that he was taking on the media culture which really had a lot of potential.

The Last King of Scotland

An outstanding performance by Forest Whitaker and James McAvoy.

Day of the Dead
½

Civility must be rewarded. What a novel idea. A good follow-up to Dawn that does an excellent job of exploring the inner dynamics of the survivors and then asking the question "Who are the real monsters here?"

Night of the Living Dead
½

Simply amazing. Romero took the classic, racist white zombie trope, threw it on its head, and invented a whole new genre of the zombie movie. Everything that came after is an imitation, including Romero's other films. His budgets got bigger but he never surpassed the brilliance of the original. It is just a shame that the rights got all mess up on it.

The Time Traveler's Wife
½

Hmm... it may take reading the book or at least seeing it again to form more of an opinion on this one. It is an entertaining story and I am not opposed to story simply for the sake of entertainment. However, as science fiction it did fail to take the opportunity to explore the deeper implications of the time travel hook. Sadly, my wittiest observation about the film is also a huge spoiler so I'll refrain from sharing until more folks have had a chance to see it.

The Soloist
The Soloist(2009)
½

This film provides a good opportunity to reflect on the nature of friendship and to ask whether Aristotle was right that there can only be friendship among equals. They made some Hollywood changes to the story to ramp up the drama; but they did a good job of preserving the essence and resisted the urge to wrap things up with a tidy little happy ending. When it ended, I had the feeling that something was missing but that is life and that is perhaps the point.

Hairspray
Hairspray(2007)
½

A successful remake of the John Waters classic. It had some bumps, namely that some of those songs were too big for Amanda Bynes, but over all well done. Blonsky did a good job on her first time out but who really deserves some credit and gets overlooked here is Queen Latifah. Now if only integration were really that easy or musical.

Planet of the Apes
½

A classic of the distopian science fiction genre. It covers science/religion, animal rights, social stratification, war, environmental devastation, and much much more! What's not to love?

Is Anybody There?

Caine gives a top notch performance that helped me to overlook a few of the weaker points of the script. It is at times both hilarious and poignant. My greatest complaint is that they kept it mostly a comedy and short changed some of the potential of the serious elements of the plot. Still, overall an enjoyable film.

Slumdog Millionaire
½

It is a great story, but beyond that, it was great story telling. Beginning in media res and then telling the story through a series of flashbacks was the right call to enhance the story in the telling.

Empire of the Sun
½

This is Christian Bale's first and quiet possibly best performance. It is worth a see just for that, but it has a great story and John Malkovich too.

Star Wars: Holiday Special

This is an abomination of horrific proportions. Seriously, why did anyone give Empire a chance after seeing this?

The Namesake
The Namesake(2006)

This is a visually stunning film. Beyond that, however, it is a moving story of a family negotiating its values and its dreams across several decades and generations. It is worth a watch, just to enjoy the storytelling; but it is also worth a watch to see a good performance by Kal Penn as someone other than Kumar.

Cinema Paradiso (Nuovo Cinema Paradiso)

An interesting commentary on the debate over whether we ever can go home again.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This was a really interesting concept and I'm going to have to think about the implications a bit more and probably see it again. It drags in some places, but any movie that sends you away thinking is a good thing.

Citizen Kane
Citizen Kane(1941)
½

The film techniques were innovative and the story about a man who can have everything but what he really wants is compelling, but to call it the greatest film ever to come out of Hollywood is too much.

Lost Boys: The Tribe

We really didn't need a Lost Boys 2. It takes some effort to hit the bottom of the Vampire genre and they put a lot of effort in.

Australia
Australia(2008)
½

It lacked the trippy quality that we've come to expect from Baz Luhrmann, but considering it would have been wierd in this film that is probably a good thing. Overall, it was entertaining but not a film that will endure.

Sophie's Choice

Meryl Streep won an Oscar for this and she deserved it.

Garden State
Garden State(2004)
½

Hmm... well the message about medication not being the answer to all out problems was good, but otherwise it was mostly random. A entertaining random, but random.

21
21(2008)
½

Not bad, but I saw a piece of History, Discovery, or one of those about the time it came out that was actually better.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
½

Well it starts out rocky with that terrible atomic scene, but it generally gets better. Not as bad as some have said, but not as good as Ark or Last Crusade. It beats the Temple of Doom though.

The Seventh Seal (Det Sjunde inseglet)
½

Ingmar Bergman's masterpiece. He shaped film for all that came after him and not just because that chess game with death has been parodied time and again.

Dan in Real Life

Not quite the comedy I was expecting. It was cute. Sometimes cute works.

Deliverance
Deliverance(1972)
½

So far as I can tell, the point of this movie is that hillbillies are scary. Honestly, it didn't make all that much sense.

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
½

I imagine that this is what it would be to take drugs. Still an interesting exploration of how our memory works, or not.

A Beautiful Mind
½

So flixster is messing up and put my review of something else here... anyway. Not as bad as I had anticipated but I won't likely watch it again.

Underworld
Underworld(2003)
½

It had its moments. I liked the depiction of vampire society that was set up, but there were some holes and in the end I found it wanting.

Ultraviolet
Ultraviolet(2006)

Its a vampire movie! Its a distopian future movie! She's got purple hair! Wait, no, now its black! Hey look a sword just shot out of her hand! Yeah, so it a was a bit of a mess, it relied more on actio and effects than plot. Sadly this is about the best we can expect from Vampire movies these days.

Aeon Flux
Aeon Flux(2005)

A decent Sci-Fi exploration of issues around cloning and the police state. The ratio of commentary to special effects could lean a bit harder towards the commentary, but over all no a bad film.

Shaun of the Dead
½

Brilliant! A fitting tribute to the the great Romero. Romero even loved it enough to put them in Land.

The Dark Knight

Easily the best Batman movie made yet; but more than that, it is actually a good movie. They captured the darkness of the characters and the setting perfectly.

The Bucket List
½

A church member gave this to me to watch. It had potential, but it didn't reach it.

Batman Begins

Probably the best Batman movie I've seen. They spend the time needed to develop the character and remember to keep it nice and dark. A nice change from the light atmosphere of the *BANG* *POW* of the old tv show.

Dawn of the Dead
½

So take the original, keep the mall and the zombies, but change everything else and you've got this remake. This one is more gore and less social commentary--but they didn't entirely forget that the point of zombie movies is to remind us that we are the real monsters.

Being There
Being There(1979)

A Peter Sellers classic about how much our opinions are nothing more than assumptions we've made and then convinced ourself they are fact. Brilliant.

Theater of Blood (Theatre of Blood) (Much Ado About Murder)
½

Vincent Price, Shakespeare, blood! What more can you ask for?

A Mighty Wind

Christopher Guest strikes gold again.

Moulin Rouge!
½

Baz Luhrman + Elton John Lyrics + Nicole Kidman + Bohemian Paris = a winner. Who knew?

Soylent Green

Charton Heston is at his best in this classic distopian fantasty. Like all good Sci-Fi, it is as much about the present as it is about the future.

Ultrachrist!
Ultrachrist!(2003)
½

Jesus in Spandex, you can't lose. Also, I'm beginning to thikn that there is a rule somewhere that if you make a humourous movie about Jesus it must have lesbians in it.

Zombies of Mora Tau

This was was pretty bad, even by B-movie standards. Zombie movies aren't supposed to be boring.

The Crow
The Crow(1994)

Not nearly so good as the horde of gothlings that have cannonized it would have us believe but I have more use for it than them.

The Ninth Gate
½

If the devil was a hot chick would you have sex with her? I think you would!

The Matrix
The Matrix(1999)
½

This movie thinks that it is more philosophical than it is but when it comes down it, still not a bad film and it does raise some questions worth pondering.

Jurassic Park
½

Spielberg faithfully adapts this Michael Chriton book and remembers that monster movies are at their best when they remind us of our own capacity for montrosity.

A Streetcar Named Desire

Marlon Brando and Vivien Leigh in a Tennessee Williams classic? You can't get much better than that. Acting!

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

A Fantastic film that gets knocked down a notch only for how they handled the ending of the book (or didn't).

THX 1138
THX 1138(1971)
½

Classic Sci-Fi, Classic Lucas. The movie without which we wouldn't have Star Wars and for that it gets props but it can stand alone too.

The Werewolf
The Werewolf(1956)
½

An old Sam Katzman classic. You get what you pay for from the B-Movie King!

Roger & Me
Roger & Me(1989)

Pretty standard Michael Moore stuff. Even when I agree with him I still feel the urge to hold his head in a toilet and flush.

March of the Penguins

For a nature documentary it wasn't half bad. It is, however, still a nature documentary.

Ed Wood
Ed Wood(1994)

Oddly better than Plan 9 itself.

Brokeback Mountain

I entertained myself by making sheep noises throughout the entire thing. This movie has a lot of sheep and thats really the best part.

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

Break a deal, spin the wheel!

Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights

Adam Sandler thought "Hey I could turn the Hannukah song into a movie" and what we got was this.

Save the Last Dance

I was forced to watch this by people I didn't even like. That did not really help them any either.

Big
Big(1988)
½

The movie that taught us that statitory rape is endearing.

2001: A Space Odyssey

A masterpiece in its day but it has not aged well.

The Lion King 1 1/2
½

When Disney started going straight to video the lost a piece of thier soul.

The Da Vinci Code
½

About as good as the book which isn't saying much.

Jaws
Jaws(1975)
½

A classic that invented the summer blockbuster. Still worth a watch today.

Kindergarten Cop
½

Why? Dear God, why?

Final Destination 2
½

Just as funny as the first!

Minority Report

Solid, classic Sci-Fi inspite of Tom Cruise.

Signs
Signs(2002)
½

Preachy and doesn't really make sense. Score!

Lady in the Water
½

After a while I just stopped carring and wanted it to end.

Click
Click(2006)

Another film you can watch to laugh or to think or both if you want.

The Fast and the Furious

A guilty pleasure to be sure.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
½

Not a bad movie but not nearly as good as it was cracked up to be.

Children of Men
½

Nice to see classic sci-fi still being made. It would have been nice to have had it better fleshed out though.

The Truman Show
½

The movie that showed us that Jim Carrey had a greater range of talent. Also an interesting concept philosophically.

High School Musical

Another movie about high schoolers made for middle schoolers that proves that teenagers will buy anything you sell them.

Romeo + Juliet
½

A good modern setting for one of my least favorite Shakepearean tragedies.

Coyote Ugly
Coyote Ugly(2000)

Yes I saw this film. No we won't be talking about it.

Twins
Twins(1988)

Did DeVito need gas money THAT bad?

Catch Me If You Can

It entained me while I was watching it and then I completely forgot it.

Bring It On
Bring It On(2000)

An abomination if ever there was one.

Pleasantville

Another flick with a philosophical bent beneat the surface if you're willing to do the brain work.

The Village
The Village(2004)
½

M Night Shyalaman continues his slide but not a bad film.

Grease
Grease(1978)
½

The 1950s were segregated and it shows!

Chocolat
Chocolat(2000)
½

Depp shows another side to his range in this entertaining little morality play.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

A musical cast not for singing but acting talent. A good story that could have been better cast.

Lost In Translation

Few movies have been more painful to watch than this one.

Rushmore
Rushmore(1998)

More Wes Anderson. Complete crap.

Planet of the Apes
½

Not as good as the orginal but capable of standing alone. Too bad no one else thought so and tanked a 2nd shot.

Eyes Wide Shut

This movie even made orgies look dull.

The Corndog Man
½

A stirring examination of racism in small-town South Carolina in the 1990s with the ingenious device of a... oh screw that. I made my friends watch this and pretended that it was good just to toture them. Not as good as I pretended, not as bad as they claimed.

Final Destination

I laughed and then I laughed some more. This falls into my bad move category where it is so bad that it starts looping around again to good.

Not Another Teen Movie

Redeeming only in that it knows how bad the movies it mocks are.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Subpar even for Teen Thrashers.

The Blair Witch Project

The only cool thing about this movie is that they managed to make so much money off of it.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

The only good part of this is the claymation fish. The rest is your standard steaming pile that Wes Anderson knows how to make so well.

Cast Away
Cast Away(2000)

One of those movies my wife likes to watch and that I like to find things to do in other rooms when she does.

In the Army Now

Pauley Shore at his best...

Jurassic Park III

This is what Jurassic Park II should have been.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

A guilty favorite and a romantic comedy that rates above a 1.5!

Steel Magnolias
½

Gets a bump just to support the home team but loses that bump for the number of armadilla cakes I've had to endure since.

Vampire Hunter D

One of the best Anime films I've seen. Notice how it only got a 2.

Predator
Predator(1987)

With more unlikely future governors than any other film!

Castle Freak
Castle Freak(1995)
½

It could have done with more freak and less castle.

Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood

The words "Starring Dennis Miller" rarely inspire confidence.

Tremors
Tremors(1990)

An unimpressive movie but it gets a bump for its filming location.

Galaxy Quest
Galaxy Quest(1999)
½

A movie only a Treker would love. Fortunately for them I am one.

Forrest Gump
Forrest Gump(1994)

Another feat of boomer self-indulgence.

A Knight's Tale

The Canterbury Tales live on.

Scream
Scream(1996)

Average, which is good as most horror movies go.

Sixteen Candles

An average movie that has been been puffed up by nostalgia.

Alien3
Alien3(1992)
½

Of the orginal 3, this is the best.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
½

Disappointing, but really, Kevin Smith began to slip after Clerks.

The Patriot
The Patriot(2000)
½

Yes, we get it, Mel Gibson likes to fight people for his FREEEEEEDOM!

Kill Bill: Volume 2

Didn't see it. Don't want to see it. If you haven't figured out why then you aren't paying attention.

Dude, Where's My Car?

So rarely do stoner movies add up to much more.

Arachnophobia

I never could tell if this was supposed to be a comedy or not, but I did laugh all the same.

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas
½

Not a bad adaptation but probably still best animated.

Rudy
Rudy(1993)

Rarely are sports movies any good. This one lives up to that reputation.

Napoleon Dynamite

I get it, Napoleon is bored. So do I have to be too?

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
½

Like ATHF in general, it was hit and miss.

Snatch
Snatch(2001)

After about 30m I just walked out. At least it wasn't done by Wes Anderson or Tarantino.

The Silence of the Lambs
½

All those Oscars weren't for no reason.

Slacker
Slacker(1991)

A favorite for the way it lets the stream of conciousness direct the focus of the camera.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

A Transvestite Movie Night Favorite!

Aliens
Aliens(1986)

A rare series that got better as it went along.

Memento
Memento(2000)

Wins props for the storytelling hook but without that hook it wouldn't have been much of a movie.

Patch Adams
Patch Adams(1998)
½

A warm and fuzzy favorite.

Unbreakable
Unbreakable(2000)
½

Too often overlooked among M Night Shyamalan's body of work.

Raising Arizona

I never quite figured out what made this movie so beloved by some.

Reservoir Dogs

Words cannot express the seething hatred I have for Tarantino and this movie.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
½

Never have lesbians, luchadores, kung-fu, and Jesus been combined so artfully in all of Canada.

Alien
Alien(1979)
½

A movie whose time has passed.

Fight Club
Fight Club(1999)
½

An intriguing psychological study.

Office Space
Office Space(1999)

A brilliant jab at corporate life.

The Shawshank Redemption

A favorite no matter how many times TNT shows it.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
½

One of the best movies ever made. This one made me fall in love with South Park all over again.

The Royal Tenenbaums

Wes Anderson holds the rare distinction of making me contemplate suicide to end a film.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

The Cohen brothers successfully tackle something as epic as the Oddessy.

Home Alone
Home Alone(1990)
½

This movie has lost some of the lustre it had when I was 12.

Groundhog Day
½

One of the best movies ever made.

Meet the Parents

Enjoyable every time, so long as you try to forget that terrible sequel.

Big Fish
Big Fish(2003)

A fine tribute to storytelling as an art and an end in itself.

A Christmas Story
½

I've never quite understoond why this movie has the power over people that it does.

Land of the Dead

Romero gets a budget without sacrificing the basic social theme of the original.

Pan's Labyrinth

A fascinating fairy tale that remembers that most of those are really rather dark. I hope to see more from del Toro.

The Departed
The Departed(2006)

Not Scorcese's best work but still Oscar worthy. Glad he finally got one.

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

So rarely has so thin a plot born so much fruit.

Pulp Fiction
Pulp Fiction(1994)

Another that I've been told is fabulous but couldn't hold my interest enough to even keep me awake. QT needs a new day job.

Dawn of the Dead

The mold by which all Zombie films would be made. Brilliant social commentary and hillarious to boot.

Gangs of New York

One of Scorcese's best. Again another flick that is a little dodgy on the history but this one makes up for it by so masterfully capturing the period.

Love Actually
½

The way it explores a common question with multiple, barely connected, stories is very well done.

Mean Girls
Mean Girls(2004)
½

Girls are mean. Peer Pressure is bad. There you've seen the movie.

Hitch
Hitch(2005)

A tolerable date movie.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Burton understands the dark undercurrents in Dahl's book that others have missed.

Pretty Woman
Pretty Woman(1990)
½

The film that made every little girl dream about being a hooker! Its passabe.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
½

This move tries too hard to wrap things up neatly. Entertaining but a weak finish to a series that started out so strong.

Sin City
Sin City(2005)

I've been told this is great but it couldn't hold my attention long enough for me to find out.

Bruce Almighty

An entertaining little morality play.

There's Something About Mary

Not really worth mentioning really.

Meet the Fockers

Another sequel that made me like the original a little less.

Shrek 2
Shrek 2(2004)

A weak sequel that tries too hard to live up to the first and fails.

Braveheart
Braveheart(1995)
½

After about the 50th viewing this gets a little old. Also a little dodgy on its history but overall I'll still watch it a 51st time.

2 Fast 2 Furious
½

A guilty pleasure. I'm not sure why, but this mindless series holds my attention.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Mr. & Mrs. Smith -or- its not domestic violence if you're a spy!

Austin Powers in Goldmember
½

I knew Austin Powers was done for as soon as someone shouted "Oh My God! its Britney!"

Wedding Crashers
½

Against all expectations this one actually entertained me. Not stellar but I've seen worse.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
½

On a rare occassion, when this is on cable, I'll keep it on on the background. Thats about all I can say for it.

American Pie
American Pie(1999)

Some stupid movies are beloved for their stupidity and some are just stupid. This is the second type.

50 First Dates
½

A tolerable date movie more or less.

Titanic
Titanic(1997)

One of the most over rated movies of all time.