kingfargo's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Azumi
Azumi(2003)

Good, albeit unbelievable action, good plot too. A little on the long side, but still a good movie. A must see for ninja fans, or people that like great decapitations.

Inside (À l'intérieur)

Probably the best horror film since Audition

The Dark Knight

The first thing is, this movie isn't for children, Batman Begins wasn't really for children, but this one is not at all for a young audience. (which makes me happy I went to the midnight show). I think Heath Ledger's performance of the joker will undoubtedly go down as the best villain of all time. It was more unnerving than Hannibal Lector, more evil than Darth Vader, and more maddenning than Norman Bates, the ideas presented in his performance are beyond the usual basic and generic morality that presents itself in most Hollywood movies. This truly is a charismatic villain, and without a doubt one for the film history books.

The performance of Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent could have just been Harvey Dent, setting up Two Face for the next movie. That being said, he was excellent as the White Knight of Gotham.

This movie has a lot of depth, with no flashbacks to the Batman origin story, this is present day, and respects the material and the heavy headiness of chaos theory and moral conumdrums. (I'll write more later)

Iron Monkey
Iron Monkey(2001)

Iron Monkey rules. There really isn't anyway around it. It's sort of a Kung Fu Robin Hood. Fun story and great fight sequences make this a must watch for any genre fan. If Pan's Labyrinth was a fairy tale for adults, This is an adventure story for adults.

In Bruges
In Bruges(2008)
½

A lot less funny and a lot darker than the trailer would make you believe, it's still a respectable hitman banter film. It deals with something that most movies about professional killers don't deal with, which is guilt and what happens when there's an accident. Oddly enough, it was kind of touching, and not when it was trying to be. It was definately worth a watch.

The Onion Movie
½

More than a few solid laughs, reminiscent of The Kentucky Fried Movie, which is superior in many ways, and inferior in the overly long redubbing of Enter The Dragon. Anyways, this is a review for The Onion Movie. I laughed really hard during the Al Queda training video and Michael Bolton's Children's Charity scene, some of the jokes go on for too long, others it seems like not long enough. That being said, it's a good watch. I kind of wish I was drunk when I watched it, but the humor was ripe enough sober.

Kataude mashin gâru (The Machine Girl)
½

Let's face it, you don't really need to read a review before watching this movie. It's a girl in the sailor suit uniform with a machine gun for an arm and a penchant for turning enemies into hamburger meat. If that sounds delicious (There's a lot of food related gore), then this is your movie. If you are grossed out by excessive blood and murder, need a lot of character development, rational thought, or if you end up being frustrated by unanswered questions, then this isn't your movie. For the rest of us, kick back and let the bloodletting begin.

Them
Them(2007)

Really good tense thriller, reminded me of a whole movie devoted to a killer chase scene from an Argento film. It was tense, however, Lucas has to be the worst male protector ever, I swear subtlety and quietness isn't his strong point. Watch this with the lights off and the sound cranked. The atmosphere of dread was well delivered. The ending came either too long or too short of where it should have been, but that's a mild gripe. Overall, a high recommendation.

Blast of Silence

There's good pulp and there's bad pulp. This a case of Good Pulp, being it's well aware of what it is. Some of the acting isn't that great, however I believe that adds to the mystique of it, along with the naration that isn't omni-present, it isn't personal, it's like a coach or a sports announcer. Everytime I watch it, I wonder what the film would be like without it.

Fireworks (Hana-bi)

A moody, emotional character study of someone pushed passed the brink. Kitano's performance is catatonic, yet masterful as the story goes. It isn't necessarily action packed, the roberry is like most of the story, subtle and ambiguous, as in the characters and events are somehow in this distracted zone. It's a confident and competent film, morally ambivelant with a rather ambiguous ending, and certainly not for all tastes. The over-the-top violence is saved by the subtle reactions. All in all, a great movie. Deductions from the music that didn't necessarily fit.

The Third Man

It's hard to watch the third man and not be distracted by the familiarity of it to other films that have directly or indirectly referenced it. Granted, I've never cared for the score, however, it doesn't really matter much by the hyponotic framing, and the clever use of sound effects in it. Highly recommended to any film buff.

Kurenai no nagareboshi

A Yakuza movie with exploding colours, a musical number, 60's fashion, and fantastic action. Words cannot describe the hyperkineticness of it. It's a pity it isn't on dvd.

Careful
Careful(1993)
½

I hated this movie the first two times I saw it. I thought it was pretentious garbage on top of amazing cinematography and set decoration, but I wanted to see it again, and then I just fell in love with it and all the weirdness that goes along with it. It's completely unlike any movie you've ever seen, and it grows on you.

Jumper
Jumper(2008)
½

This was a free rental that totally seemed like a rip off. Hayden Christiansen can't act. He's terrible and completely unlikable. They set it up for a horrible sequel, however, they should have thought to set up the characters in this one. Everyone in it is annoying to a point of you want everyone to die, it doesn't matter who, or why, just some form of massive annihalation to take place. They also should have thought about a better start to a movie, Before, I was just a chump like you. I may be a chump, but at least I can act Christiansen.

The Big Lebowski

The funniest movie I've ever seen. Will no matter what make me smile.

X-Men: The Last Stand

What were they thinking? The only acceptable answer is they weren't.

Seven Samurai (Shichinin no Samurai)

Probably the best movie ever made.

American Beauty

I really enjoyed this movie because of the cinematography and the performances, however, it has to be the worst screenplay I've ever read, and after reading it, every line of forced dialogue, every cliche, every stereotype comes more and more obvious

Zatôichi (The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi)

Funny and action packed, this was a really welcomed, though you can't touch Shintaro Katsu's classic, revision.

Lady Snowblood 2 - Love Song of Vengeance (Shura-yuki-hime: Urami Renga)

Arguably better than the first in every way, this is a classic revenge story with political subtext so it pleased me more than the first

Planet Terror (Grindhouse Presents: Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror)
½

I prefer the excessive to the sleaze, so I thought this was the highlight of Grindhouse. Excellent.

Scarface
Scarface(1983)

Despite countless technical and continuity errors, this portrait of early 80's excess is absolutely hysterical.

The Butterfly Effect

I really hated this movie.

True Romance
True Romance(1993)
½

Deductions for the music in it.

Hostel
Hostel(2006)
½

Eli Roth's film is a lot more clever than the torture porn handle it receives, for one, the story flips itself over, what was sex became death in the latter half of the film. Hostel remains one of the better recent American horror films, and is great fun to watch.

Koroshiya 1 (Ichi the Killer)

I love Ichi, I can't exactly tell you why, but I love it.

Kill Bill: Volume 2

This could get it's rating solely for the Wei Pei story. It was decent, and the sound when he buries her is amazing as well.

Suicide Club
Suicide Club(2002)
½

Despite an amazing opening, the story falls apart somewhere around the "Because Dead Shine All Night Long" song. It really doesn't make any sense, but somehow that opening was amazing!

Cannibal Holocaust

Though not for everyone, it's an accomplishment. The excessive nudity/violence doesn't really seem that unnecessary for the point of the film, for at it's core is a deeply rooted moral basis as an argument against itself, and makes for great satire. As someone who's seen it, it really strikes a chord when flipping through channels and seeing the onslaught of reality television, and as far as the animal violence goes, it is supposed to be shocking, where as this isn't cinema as entertainment, it has a much higher purpose, and I can respect that. The things that happen to the documentary crew isn't that shocking (provided the title) and that they bring it on themselves. Don't watch it if you are extremely sensitive.

Man Bites Dog
½

Man Bites Dog is a great film, to some, the pseudo-doc style has gotten old since the Blair Witch Project (or Cannibal Haulocaust if you're old school). However, it seemingly has a sense of humor about itself that makes it almost more disturbing. "Have you ever been snuffed before?!?!" Is kind of funny in a morbid way, and for the most part, it seems to happen during the infamous rape scene that you are rooting for this guy, and you realize something about yourself as you watch it, which is an amazing trick to pull off. All in all, an amazing movie.

High Tension (Switchblade Romance)

Despite a lackluster ending, the movie did it's job for the first 85 minutes. I saw this at the Philadelphia film festival, and I just fell in love with it. Aja filmed everything so well, could have done without the ending though.

Django
Django(1966)

I love this movie. It's just a great movie with a let them just kill eachother mentality, much like Yojimbo, the story takes place in town where no one is worth saving, which is always a great premise for an action movie. I just loved the action in it, how bad ass are you to just carry a coffin around filled with guns? Very Bad Ass indeed. :-)

Audition (Ôdishon)

Very few films merrit the term Unforgettable, however this does with flying colors. From the sad score, the storytelling, the rich cinematography, and the unrelenting violence, it isn't necessarily haunting, it's a masterpiece. From the gorgeous photography, to the seemingly ordinary and restrained composition during the violent scenes, Miike makes a great film.

Nowhere
Nowhere(1997)
½

Greg Arakki's final installment of the Teen Apocalypse Trilogy is his most accomplished in the series. I've seen this movie countless time, and it touches on the basic spectrum of human emotion, funny and tragic, jaded and empathetic, it's very poetic and a wonderful movie.

Santo Versus the Martian Invasion (Santo el Enmascardo de Plata vs la Invasión de los Marcianos)

Sometimes, there's nothing that will put you in a better mood than a great Mexican Wrestler movie, and Santo vs. The Martian Invasion IS A GREAT MEXICAN WRESTLER MOVIE!!!

The Incredible Hulk
½

The Incredible Hulk was as good as an Incredible Hulk movie could possibly be. I was happy that they used more of a Frankenstein's monster type of literary influence than the usual Jeckyl and Hyde influence when dealing with the Hulk. The spectacular cast gave it the attention it deserved and did really well, for a movie about a character that really doesn't translate well to an individual focused film. Though it wasn't Iron Man, it did do a good job of making Banner an interesting enough tragic character, though someone that smart should have realized that the military wouldn't be using it for strictly defensive matters and not look for offensive applications, but the believability of the matter isn't really that important with an 8 foot tall monster. Which brings me on a blog point, why is it that we are all being shown all at once these movies with giant badasses fighting even bigger badder asses?

Anyways, good for a night out, worth watching, and a great spectacle. Worth the watch.

Diary of the Dead
½

I went into this with low expectations, however, the movie was great, and exceeded those expectations. Romero once again proved that he's the father of survival horror, and to paraphrase Wu Tang, I felt like he screamed on my ass like my dad. Romero does what I like the most about survival horror, or at least what I think works the best about it. It isn't the horror of the threat facing the survivors, it's the horror of the way that the survivors treat eachother, and in that aspect, Romero succeeded beyond capability.

Where as in Night he was fighting racism and predjudice, in Dawn, he was lampooning consumerism, in Day he was talking about cold war arms race escalation, and penultimately he dealt with the growing problems with class.

This is different, this is a full scale assault on apathy, mainstream media, healthcare, the current administration, and the growing problem of a soulless nation. The final line of the film "Are we really worth saving" is something that resonates loudly thoughout the action of the film. The idea of killing family is dealt with, the people trying to hold on, and put down like traitors for not doing their civic duty. Perhaps it was foolhardy of them, but beyond that he delves into something deeper, more sinister, what is the difference between us and the zombies, at what point to we even claim our humanity as something noble. Perhaps it's in this, it isn't the ramblings of some old man who has seen the decline of humanity, it's that we are being conditioned to handle something like this, and because of that, we're doomed no matter who wins. Romero made a great film that isn't so much a horror film but more an essay of philosophical fiction. Putting down postmodernism in it's tracks by saying is this what we identify with, the running gag, when it clearly isn't supposed to be funny, and documents it as it is, an excuse. Harrowing and rewarding, I am starting to see why it got such bad press, it takes the voice of the contrary to acheive what this film does, but oh, what contrair does to the fuel of what was being said burns it, and for the voices for it complete, you have to bury it. This is Romero's Citizen Cain (spelling is intended, I know it's Kane.)

Also, I don't think that I buy into it that it was supposed to be about technology being bad, it was about the return to primal states. Look at the point in which the survivors pick weapons, after they've had to kill friends, lovers, and family.

Anyways, I highly recommend this movie.

Crank
Crank(2006)
½

For a movie that is all about adrenaline, it gets a bit tedious and boring. The Great Jean Pierre Melville once said that Action is the death of Tension in a movie. This movie could be the thesis statement of that theory. I enjoyed parts of it, but found myself not really caring how it ended up.

Last Hurrah for Chivalry

A great action movie from John Woo. Like an Asian Sam Peckinpah, he paints iconic pictures about male friendship and decorates with blood and action.

Unknown
Unknown(2006)
½

A nice little thriller that overstays it's welcome, but good tension and performances all around. I was impressed with the blank canvas personality attributes.