D's Review of Piranha 3-D
Horror Director (Alexandre Aja) that brought us "The Hills Have Eyes" unleashes terror once again about man eating killing machine piranhas that attack small lake full of teens who have nowhere to hide as their being hunted down one by one beneath the surface in this gruesome bloodsoaked gorefest, "Piranha".
As I walked into watch this for the first time on the big screen I didn't really know what to expect except for piranha attacks. Which is all I wanted from this. Apparently, Piranha had a bit more to it than just that. Yea, you get the bloody attacks which is sometimes hard to stomach. You also get Porn as the Piranha madness is going on. To me, for a film like this, I think went way over the top with the nudity. Its not that I don't mind some female nudity every once in a while where I am a guy but when you label a title about fish, thats all everybody wants to see. This isn't Girls Gone Wild. Which is what the movie should've been called with Piranhas on the end of the title. Anyway, I didn't really complain too much about it where the blood & gore was over the top, i guess everything else should be too. This film is defenitely not for children. I would advise the parents not to bring their young ones to watch this. Wait until their about 17 or higher. Thats the proper age to watch R-rated movies anyways. Piranha got slapped with a huge R in the case where it came close to being X-rated. They had to cut alot to get that R-rating was what I heard.
Anyway, I had a blast with Piranha. It brings back those classic monster movies from the 80's like Jaws. If I was making this film, I wouldn't water the rating down. It sits perfect with all the violence where somebody could really end up looking like that after getting eaten by hundreds of those Piranhas. That is a scary thought. Piranha is definitely entertaining escapist fun but not for the faint of heart. Just sit back & watch these Piranhas tear apart characters that you don't even care about unless your a guy that doesn't want to see a ton of Piranhas eat a beautiful model. I have to admit, there was a hotty in here that was rooting for to live. I'm not going spoil whether she survived or not. You"ll just have to see it for yourself. That is, if you can make it that far. When the Piranha attacks come, they hit fast & furious as you get to witness the razor teethed fish rip people to shreads in the most gruesome ways you've ever seen on screen. I thought the gore effects looked real for the most part. Some of it, it was hard for me to bare but as it went on I got use to it.
I thought the CGI in this film relating to the Piranhas was the best I've seen. In certain scenes they look fake but in some they look realistic as they can get. Like when the Piranhas are floating around, they look good. When their attacking underwater, not so much. I didn't mind that though because they had to make them look that way as in their not eating a real live person. I was actually surprised that everything else was over the top except for the fish. So if you like effects, you'll get really excited over that.
The cast pretty much stood on there own. It was good to see Richard Dreyfuss & Christopher Lloyd with their small camos. I like Elizabeth Shue even though It was hard for me sometimes to buy her as the Sheriff. Ving Rhames was awesome as her Deputy. The one who made it for me was Jerry O'Connel. The dude is freaking hillarious. There's something in the middle of the film where something happens to him. All I have to say, is when it happens, I was rolling on the ground laughing. I didn't really care for the rest of the cast as they were not as likeable as the others. Overall, Piranha is not what I was expecting it to be but it was still enjoyable. Thats all I can ask for a summer film. Piranha is definitely one to watch with a bunch of friends. Maybe drunk at that point where this movie goes beyond insainity. I didn't have to be drunk to watch it. So if i can watch it being normal, Im sure you can too. If you don't have a strong stomach, forget about watching this because you will be sick before the time it's over with. I would recommend this more for guys than i would girls just for the sake of the female nudity. Piranha is one hell of a exciting fun horror thrill ride that packs a punch full of over the top pornography & nonstop swarming bloodsoaking killer fish attacks.
3 1/2 stars