Da 5 Bloods
On the Record
I May Destroy You
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'Inside Amy Schumer' is an awesome comedy sketch show and a personal favorite, but this movie is far away from that. Starts off great, then turns into your typical 2010-onward rom-com with characters falling for each other even though they both don't want to, but then they give in, but their differences make things complicated, yadda yadda yadda.
I'd really like for Judd Apatow to at least try and make a comedy UNDER TWO HOURS, take example from the 80s and 90s and make one that's an hour and a half and doesn't have a soap opera drama chapter in its final thirty minutes, which makes the total two hours of Trainwreck a chore. I also don't know why modern comedies need its main characters to be cynical self-centered bastards that treat other people like shit, with the occasional goody two-shoes character that's totally oblivious to the fact that someone's an asshole. With that type of humor, which is based on people being jerks and insulting each other, you can almost feel the grip of auto-censorship as visually vulgar gags are avoided, as are insults that are based on race, weight, physical appearance and nationality - it's just personal insults, and some slapstick here and there.
One visual that's prominent in the movie is men's asses, as there are plenty of male butt-cheeks shown throughout the movie, without a single boob, side boob, nipple or female ass, and I think Schumer didn't even show her belly button, not even during sex scenes. Is that equality? What the fuck?
Plenty of cameos in this one, from notable comedians you've seen on Schumer's show or on Adult Swim shows, as well as athletes such as LeBron James. Speaking of which, the best part of this movie is WWE wrestler John Cena. I'm used to booing this man, but he was the best part of this movie, and the funniest lines were delivered by him. Never give up, Cena! Anyway, once he's gone from the story, which is early in the movie, the story falls flat.
I don't even feel like mentioning any details of the actual story, as anyone who has seen a couple of rom-coms over the last few years could guess the entire script.
The only conclusion I can make after watching this is that John Cena should make comedies, have him team up with The Rock, with Mark Wahlberg as well, because those two could play twins. I'll forget the vast majority of Trainwreck in a couple of days.
My Cousin Vinny was made in 1992, a time when comedies like these had a decent international release, and people actually went to the cinema to see them. Comedies like these - with a strong, but simple story, strong characters and great actors. These aren't around anymore, at least not in this format, and only get a limited theatrical release before going straight to video-on-demand, while the theaters are reserved for blockbusters.
Joe Pesci obviously dominates here as a would-be Brooklyn Italian attorney who comes out to hicksville Alabama to defend his cousin and his best friend, two New York teenagers who get framed for murdering a convenient store clerk while driving across the country and checking out colleges. The story is simple, basic, but the cast makes it incredibly enjoyable.
Marissa Tomei actually won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress as Vinny's girlfriend, Mona Lisa Vito, and deserving so, but I couldn't help but think that today, a performance like hers would go unnoticed, simply because it was in a comedy, and comedies are unappreciated. Side note: she looks so good in this movie that you'll most likely have to pause it a couple of times.
My Cousin Vinny is probably Ralph Macchio's last hit, even though the Karate Kid is a supporting actor here, after this one, he didn't make much, plus, this is probably the last movie where he played a teenager, which was a stretch, as he was about 31 at the time.
This is one of those movies that you should watch every couple of years, simply because it offers a decent amount of laughs and gives you comedic characters that you just enjoy spending time with. Plus, this is Joe Pesci at his best, and like George Carlin said: 'I pray to Joe Pesci because he gets shit done', and My Cousin Vinny is no exception.
Hollywood Shuffle is the predecessor to future great black comedy sketch shows, with Chappelle's Show coming to mind more than anything else. Obviously low budget, the movie relies on its story, which follows a young black actor through movie auditions where he constantly gets typecasted into negative stereotypical roles of pimps and junkies, but the whole thing is done in a satirical tone similar to Mel Brooks' movies and The Naked Gun Series.
Even though watching this in 2015 feels slightly dated, it also offers a great look into the movie industry of the late 1980s and how black actors were treated back then, as a lot of their problems are still around. Lead actor Robert Towsend dominates and you can see where Chappelle got his inspiration from, but the whole movie is stacked with amazing black comedians, such as Paul Mooney and the Wayans brothers.
Low budget, lots of heart. Definitely worth watching.
Ted 2 is a stoner comedy, even more so than the first one. So, I watched it wanting nothing more than to laugh at something. Of course, the plot isn't original, but it doesn't have to be, and that's okay. I got a decent number of laughs. But, watching this stoned, which is the right way to watch this type of movie, you analyze stuff and notice details, flaws especially. By the end of Ted 2, I was screaming at the screen, going 'FUCKING END ALREADY', but there was about ten minutes more. The characters become less and less likeable as the story progresses and their cynical jokes turn into total lameness. Lots of Family Guy cutaway jokes as well, and they're all hit or miss. The thing that bothers me about this movie, like all Seth MacFarlane movies, is that he likes to poke fun at certain types of comedies with the attitude that this stuff is better, but it's not. Also, the musical parts of the movie are boring as hell. And the movie starts with a musical opening! If you want to do a musical. do a musical. The thing is, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are already doing that much, much better than anyone else, MacFarlane is miles behind. What I've learned from Ted 2 is that MacFarlane should take it easy, this is his third comedy and none of them were really good, only decent, and they're not memorable or re-watchable at all. This is coming from a guy who has seen Grandma's Boy almost ten times. The best part about the movie was Mark Wahlberg, who is an awesome comedic actor. Amanda Seyfreid was great as well. But Wahlberg should do nothing but comedies and action comedies. To sum up, Ted 2 is okay, watch it once, but if you get bored at any point and decide to press pause, you don't have to press play again.
Chappie isn't a science fiction film, it's actually Die Antwoord's longest video yet, and should be advertised as such. I was a big fan of director Neill Blomkamp's District 9, and am still waiting for District 10, which I 'd much rather see than another Chappie. I was already disappointed with Elysium, basically because it was a dumb movie. Chappie is also like that, in the sense that this movie is dumb.
Okay, South African police force use robots, which are called scouts. The guy who created them works in an office cubicle at a tech company, just like any other schmuck, even though he designed these groundbreaking robotic sentinels. He tries to create artificial intelligence with a consciousness, which he succeeds at, and of course this ends up as Chappie's soul. Die Antwoord play a group of criminals which end up owning money to another, higher level criminal, and they end up stealing Chappie and part-time kidnapping his creator. Some stuff happens, a robot develops a soul, we question out humanity, Hugh Jackman plays a bad guy jerk with a Julius Caesar mullet, Sigorney Weaver is there as the mature female boss character - much like Jodie Foster was in Elysium - some friends become enemies, enemies become friends, leaving everyone richer for the experience, as Stewie Griffin would say.
Here's the problem: this isn't a science fiction movie, it's not even a movie. It's a very long, artistic promotional video for The Antwoord. Not only are they the main characters of this movie, their music is also more prominent that the cast. If you're a fan of them, good for you, you might enjoy this movie.
Chappie is not a big pile of shit, it's just a pile of something something Die Atwoord. Blomkap scored big with District 9, but after that, everything he has directed has sucked, including Chappie. Would I recommend it? Hell no. And let's not even mention Short Circuit and the similarities between Johnny 5 and Chappie. Leave the memories alone.