cbrumm's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Watchmen
Watchmen(2009)

Watchmen does not work as a movie. When the brilliant graphic novel is transferred (very faithfully, I might add) to the screen, it drags. The story moves so slowly, you are unable to study and review the images presented as you were able with the novel, the back stories between each chapter presented in some kind of clever way, such as a memoir or a profile are unable to be adapted and instead they are squeezed into the main story line, making it drag even more, much of the story has been cut away (which is standard for a film adaptation, I would say it should have lost more to keep up the pace), the psychological disturbances of the adventurers is barely tapped, and so on and so on. That said, you can't ask for a better adaptation than this. By no means does this replace the graphic novel, if you watched the movie and didn't read the graphic novel, you are cheating yourself.

Halloween
Halloween(2007)

Myers never needed a back story and the back story kills the whole spirit of the movie and makes the once pure evil, stalking, menacing monster into a sympathetic human who is driven to insanity by his family and society. The movie also does not know how to build the tension like the original did, it's a massively aggressive movie that forgoes tension for more quick slashing, condensing the entire plot of the original into the very end in favor of that crappy back story that ruins more of the movie than it adds to. Donald Pleasence is sorely missed as the new Loomis just sucks. The movie is a huge mistake and should be avoided.

Mortuary
Mortuary(2005)

Tries to hit on the same balance of comedy, horror, and weirdness of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It does a decent job, though the humor isn't exactly laugh out loud and the horror is pretty lacking. But the weirdness is definitely there. It makes the movie pretty engaging to start with, but as it ratchets up, it just becomes ridiculous. But if your just looking for an entertaining movie, this is fairly satisfying.

Cloverfield
Cloverfield(2008)
½

The glorious return of the monster movie.

Freddy vs. Jason

The story is pretty stretched in an attempt to get the final fight all set up. It gets the job done, but it could have been much shorter. Maybe then I could make it to the cool climax without falling asleep.

The new Jason does an excellent job and of course Englund brings classic Freddy (with less fluff than in the later sequels). The Jason kills are mindless fun in classic Friday the 13th style, but the dream kills are really unimaginative. The acting outside of the killers is simply terrible. Absolutely dreadful. Every character is a bloated stereotype as well. Characters aren't usually the focus in a Friday the 13th movie, but they usually aren't this bad either. The Elm Street movies even managed to muster some good characters.

But the fight brings the goods, making the first two thirds or so of the movie bearable. Ranks in the top 3 of the 11 Friday the 13th movies, and 4th or 5th in the 8 Nightmare on Elm Street series.

Wes Craven's New Nightmare

Classic art imitating life becoming art that blurs fact and fiction, reality and dream, and actor and character. In the top 3 of Elm Street movies, along with the original and 3.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

Really the point in the series that being "surreal" became nothing but an excuse not to make sense.

Batman Begins
½

Nolan's first shot at Batman is a good one. Feels most like the Batman of the modern age, less like the recent campy attempts and Burton's classic gothic ones. Nolan truly understands the character. I like the use of fan favorite villains Ra's and Scarecrow.

Bale's Batman voice is really the most annoying part of the movie and the biggest black mark. It is true to the way it is described in the books, but there has to be a better way to do it. Unfortunately, he carries it into The Dark Knight too. Hopefully he'll lose it in the next one, although I think it's here to stay.

Mean Streets
Mean Streets(1973)
½

Scorsese's first masterpiece. The film that set up the brilliant duo of Scorsese directing De Niro. A difficult film on the first watch, as are many of Scorsese's works, but one that begged to be watched again and again till I absolutely fell in love with it. The film feels so real as Keitel delivers one of the greatest performances of his highly decorated career. Charlie's conflict between his uncle's life and his religious moral core comes through in every scene as he desperately tries to help his best friend clear his debts as some kind of penance to strike a moral balance to his conflicted life. A great work from all parties involved.

Wanted
Wanted(2008)

Matrix wannabe with a leading actor that is actually worse than Keanu Reeves. Starts out terrible with a few interesting twists thrown in towards the end to keep me overall satisfied with this movie.

Malibu's Most Wanted

I understand everyone who dislikes or hates this movie, it does have its flaws, but Jamie Kennedy's B-Rad just made me laugh so hard that I love the movie in spite of it all. I know way to many B-Rads to not love this movie.

Land of the Dead

As with each previous entry, sets the resurrection of the dead in a modern setting. Continues the horrors that came from Day of the Dead's "learning zombies" themes as the zombies figure out was to use weapons and penetrate the last refuges of mankind. The gore keeps getting better and better, but the dread factor seems to have dropped from the classic trilogy.

Twilight
Twilight(2008)

Terrible acting, terrible directing, and from what I've heard not very faithful to the source material. Avoid! Don't believe the fangirls, they would have loved this movie if it was just a piece of shit with Edward's picture and the word "Twilight" over it for 2 hours. Which actually isn't too far off.

Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz(2007)

A no-holds-barred adrenaline fuelled thrill-ride. And after they perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem, they incur a considerable amount of paperwork. In spoofing the mindless action flick, Hot Fuzz makes one of the best, smartest, and funniest action movies ever!

28 Weeks Later...
½

I prefer Boyle's directing, but everything else is top notch, just as good as 28 Days Later

Halloween
Halloween(1978)

Great horror movie. Gives you the sense that the Michael Myers is always right there, either seeing his face in the shadows or lurking somewhere right offscreen, ready to strike at any moment, building the tension and providing a few good scares. One of the scariest movies of all time.

Night of the Living Dead

One of the greatest and most influential horror movies ever made. It is a personal favorite from the horror genre. It was gory for the time, but never seems distasteful. The best part of the movie is the lingering and building sense of dread and danger that carries throughout. The movie carries social commentaries as well, strong but never overdone. The ending is great as well as extremely bleak.

The Dark Knight

Heath Ledger is amazing, this is the best Batman movie to date.

Dawn of the Dead
½

While inferior to the original, Snyder's re-envisioning of the zombie masterpiece is a good movie in its own right. This remake owes as much to 28 Days Later as it does to Romero's movies. In fact, it's a pretty loosely based remake. Losing much of the social commentary and character building of the original, it just focuses on keeping the tension high and urgent throughout. And it succeeds. A good zombie flick.

The Man Who Knew Too Much

Once you get past the classics - North by Northwest, Rear Window, Psycho, Vertigo, etc - this is one of my favorite Hitchcock films.

Mean Girls
Mean Girls(2004)

At some point, I think about a third the way through this movie, my balls fell off. They actually resented me enough for watching this movie to tear away from my body... I apologize, balls. I promise not to do it again.

The Day After Tomorrow
½

Look out, look out, global warming is coming to get you! Hahahaha

Grindhouse
Grindhouse(2007)

Death Proof 4, Planet Terror 4

Alien
Alien(1979)

Alien is one of my favorite movies because of its brilliant depiction of man brought against a physically superior killing machine. The alien itself is spectacular to behold, as we are give an introduction to the unique way they reproduce, grow, defend, and kill. Scott creates a visually rich world, giving the film a highly artistic feel, but it is subtle, which is what I love about a lot of Ridley Scott's work. And as far as Scott's filmography goes, this is nearly as good as it gets.

"You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility. I admire its purity. A survivor. Unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality."

Blade Runner
Blade Runner(1982)

If I were to guess, this is the most accurate depiction of the future ever. Heavily industrialized, basically the same shitbag place with better technology. It seems pollution has run amuck, real animals are a rare sight, and big brother is watching. This is all implied, never explicitly stated. There is the brilliant question of what constitutes life, when do these Replicants cease to be machine and become man, alongside many other artistic themes.

Make sure to check out the Director's Cut or Final Cut for a more definitive version than the Theatrical Version, which added a happy ending and stupid voice overs. These versions also add the unicorn dream sequence that questions Deckard's humanity, suggesting he may be a Replicant, and overall posing the question, what is really the difference? Ridley Scott is one of the most artistic directors ever and he definitely proves it here.

Unbreakable
Unbreakable(2000)

Love the superhero mythos plays, and the twist at the end was great, but the ending seems so abrupt, right when you think its really gonna get good. Still one of M. Night's better outings.

Night of the Living Dead

Only people who have never seen the original like this movie. This adaptation works, but for the people who love the original, you can easily tell how off this one is and it kills it. Stays faithful to the source for most of the movie, still annoyingly slightly off, then veers off a bit later... Just watch the original. Color is not a selling point for a movie.

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

The introduction to the world of the force, jedi, the dark and light sides, and a galaxy far, far away. It's shamelessly campy, but has great characters and masterful storytelling. This is what Star Wars is suppose to be.

Raging Bull
Raging Bull(1980)

De Niro at his finest, and that's about as fine as it gets. Scorsese is a master at character studies like this and this movie proves it. A very difficult movie but if you're willing to give it a chance, I highly recommend it.

The Godfather, Part II

For all the same reasons The Godfather was #1, The Godfather, Part II is #2. The Godfather is the corruption and rise of Michael, and Part II is his fall and the destruction of his last bits of decency.

The Godfather

Best movie ever.

It seems so stupid to try and state why I believe this is the greatest movie ever made. The story is masterful, the acting is unbeatable, fantastically directed, and endlessly quotable. A must see if you're over the age of 12 and are a human being.

Donnie Darko
Donnie Darko(2001)

The movie is incredibly abstract, allowing you to draw your own conclusions, what is real, what's dream, what happened in this timeline or another, is Donnie insane or supersane? These questions have even more answers and allows for a different experience each time. Always great to see Donnie saying all the shit we wish we could say if we only had the balls.

The Terminator

Pure badass. Great action set up with a story that is actually not only competent but intelligent. A movie that's pure fun.

Almost Famous

A great movie that manages to strike an excellent balance between comedy and drama. A must see for anyone who is a fan of classic rock and roll. The film boasts an excellent soundtrack featuring classics (heavy on the Led Zeppelin) and original songs that feel as though they truly belong in the same era. A fantastic cast, with Kate Hudson and Philip Seymour Hoffman delivering the top performances. Really, if you love music, you have to see it. If you don't, I still recommend it, though not as highly. Check it out.

Scarface
Scarface(1983)

The epic bloodbath, based on the 1932 movie of the same name, though pretty loosely based. 3 hours of drugs and blood lead by one of Pacino's most memorable roles, Tony Montana. Pacino spits out so many instantly quotable lines that this movie gains a spot on my favorite movies of all time. If you're looking for an epic bloodbath, look no further. If you're not, pass on by. It's about that simple when it comes to Scarface, love it or hate it. I love it.

This Is Spinal Tap

If you love rock or metal music, then there are very few experiences more fun than the first time you see the hilarious rockumentary. Every joke rings almost painfully true and endlessly funny. And for the uneducated, it's so well done that people often come out of the movie saying "Is Spinal Tap real or made up?" Even more fun, try to point out all the places they pulled these jokes, 'cause almost none of them are pulled from thin air. Enjoy.

Aliens
Aliens(1986)

Never more than what it claims to be, Aliens is a sci-fi action movie that took the fantastic character of Ripley and the alien from the first movie then put them against each other again, only this time there is not just an alien. There is an entire colony of aliens! The action is top notch. Cameron adds to the mythos of the alien that was started by Scott in 1979 with a queen and establishment of a hive/colony/whatever thing. Most of the story is just creating a reason for Ripley to fight some aliens, but it does have a few intriguing twists. Shitty acting by Bill Paxton is to be expected but he's not as annoying as he usually is. Most of the characters are one-dimensional roles meant to be little more than alien fodder. And you know what? I couldn't care less. I love aliens!!!

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

George Lucas stepping down as director must have seemed like a risky move in 1980 after the success of the original, but the result is a truly rare experience: a sequel to a great movie that is not only a great movie in its own right, but actually surpasses the first. This is the movie that every sci-fi movie since wishes it could be.

Reservoir Dogs

Tarantino's first film, rivals the greatness of Pulp Fiction. The characters are great, promoting fantastic dialogue throughout. Backstories are given on the characters as we work through the aftermath of a heist gone wrong and the "professionals" begin to turn on each other, culminating in one of the greatest Mexican standoffs of all time. This movie is every bit as worthy a watch as Pulp Fiction, and while I've never broken up with a girl over this movie, I'm sure I would if the situation were to arise. I doubt it will, 'cause I usually show Pulp Fiction first, and I don't see how you could ever not like this movie if you liked that one.

Dog Day Afternoon

I love this movie. Pacino is great in this based-on-true-story tale of a bank robbery gone wrong. This movie deals with homosexuality without falling into the stupid jokes and bullshit that movies usually have when the subject is broached. The movie feels real every step of the way and has a few genuinely funny moments in it, along with some tense and powerful dramatic moments (Sonny's letter to his wife, tearjerking).

Pulp Fiction
Pulp Fiction(1994)

My favorite movie from my favorite director. The dialogue can be hilarious, serious, and thought provoking all at the same time. Great performances by the cast including Sam Jackson's greatest and most memorable role, very cool performances by John Travolta, Uma Thurman, and Tim Roth, and an awesome showing from Bruce Willis, the only actor who could pull off the role of Butch. This movie showcases nearly everything about movies and features dozens of movie references (brilliant having Travolta in that dance sequence, even if Tarantino insists that the part was in the movie when Michael Madsen was set to reprise his Vic Vega role instead of Vincent).

I've broken up with girlfriends because they didn't like this movie when we watched it together. This movie is that important to me.

88 Minutes
88 Minutes(2008)

The star is for Pacino's great performance, like all his movies. The four empty stars are for everything else.

The Song Remains The Same

Dull. It's Zeppelin... should not be this boring...

Romeo and Juliet

I don't remember the movie so well, but I do remember we watched it in class and Juliet had some sweet tits up close and personal on screen.

Dodgeball - A True Underdog Story

Needed more Jason Bateman, his character made the movie for me, even more so than Stiller, who also gave a hilarious performance.

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny
½

Gotta love the D. Loved the role reversal in the beginning where KG becomes the asshole to JB, nice move.

Shallow Hal
Shallow Hal(2001)
½

Good movie, but in the end I felt a little cheated, I'm expected to laugh at all the fat jokes at the same time the movie insults people who do... I don't know, seemed conflicting to me.

Disaster Movie

Jokes so recent that you just have to wonder - how much time and care did they put into the script. The answer: 0 and 0. Not funny. Not at all.

"Would you like to go see Disaster Movie with me?"
"You know, I'd love to, but I'm gonna put my dick in a meat grinder in about a half hour. Otherwise, I'd be right there..."

Batman & Robin

Candidate for worst movie EVER

Daredevil
Daredevil(2003)

Way to fuck up the best marvel hero ever.

White Chicks
White Chicks(2004)
½

They are black guys dressed as white chicks. There's the joke, now you don't have to see the movie. You're welcome.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
½

Hayden Christensen ruins an otherwise decent (and certainly best of the prequels) Star Wars flick.

The Happening

Dendrophobia: fear of trees. Ancraophobia: fear of wind. If you suffer from either of these, this movie may be able to convey the dread it attempts to. If you don't, then you can sit back and enjoy the cool summer breezes that are apparently meant to be frightening.

The Incredible Hulk
½

True to the character, not a ton of substance, but a lot of quality action. Also, Tim Roth is a great actor and does a good job as Blonsky.

The Village
The Village(2004)
½

Is there anyone who watched this movie that didn't guess the "surprise" twists and ending in the first half hour? I suppose there are, but I can't really imagine who.

Eagle Eye
Eagle Eye(2008)

Entertaining and gripping, but all-in-all, completely preposterous plot and a directing mess that steals ideas from many better movies.

Death Proof
Death Proof(2007)

This movie delivers exactly what it promises to deliver: a madman uses his badass car to stalk and kill beautiful ladies. As a tribute to Grindhouse features, you couldn't ask for much more. You hear criticism on the abundant dialogue, but truly, it makes the action more fun when the babes seem like a little more than just fodder for Stuntman Mike. Badass movie.

Wayne's World

party time. excellent

Apocalypse Now
½

The ending always feels that it can never live up to the expectations the rest of the film brings upon it. But its completely forgivable because the rest of the movie is awesome.

Plan 9 from Outer Space

So bad that it just might be the most entertaining movie ever made!