John Touchet's Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Ratings and Reviews

The Signal
The Signal(2014)

I had not heard of this movie until my friend asked if I wanted to watch it on blue-ray. I don't regret it, although it starts off a little bit slow, the story line becomes more apparent over time. Some of the acting not so great, but over all; I am very happy that I took the time to experience this vision. Similar to that of the movie 'Dark City', it does give a different view of what might not be so real.

Noah
Noah(2014)

It is a movie. Bad one at that. Don't know what interpretation the writer and director wanted to give, but was way off from what I KNOW. Also, with so many different mood swings, was NOAH Baptist?

12 Years a Slave

Not easy to watch for me. But too great to turn away. Great acting for the most part. Must see. Don't pass up.

R.I.P.D.
R.I.P.D.(2013)

Not only did I purchase a bad smelling candle from Wal-Mart, I lit it as I began watching this horrible movie. It was a bit of irony to the dual combination. Kinda like a smell-o-vision, smelled like SH*T and looked like SH*T. Horrible movie.

Thor: The Dark World

From start to finish. I enjoyed this movie. Some moments are a bit lost, but overall, a great and entertaining movie.

After Earth
After Earth(2013)

Was not the best "space adventure" but was very entertaining. Sadly, Jaden Smith can not act in this film. But I did enjoy it.

Inglourious Basterds

just watched on cable. That is one stupid movie. Not my kind of movie. Just poor acting.

Now You See Me
½

It's only getting a full star because Morgan Freeman is in it. This movie is senseless and barely keeps you interested in between it's multilevel story line. Simply stupid. Thank GOD for RedBox

Snitch
Snitch(2013)

Starts off really lame, then gets really worse. Horrible acting, pathetic directing. What ever moron's bankrolled this crappy idea of a movie, needs to quit doing it. You lost big time in my opinion.

Men in Black III
½

Very entertaining. New twists and gags, go the doppelganger down to a tee..

Man of Steel
Man of Steel(2013)
½

It was a good entertaining movie with highs and lows. I suggest see it. Full price.

Super 8
Super 8(2011)

Here is how I see it... Abrams born 1966. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial Released 1982. The Goonies released 1985. JJ's Daddy, Gerald W. Abrams, was gone alot I assume, he has a big T.V. directing background. So combining his obvious love for the previously above referenced movies, and what I can only assume was the lack of having a father figure present in his up bringing. Here is my outtake on the movie; ;I want to redo THE GOONIES, No!, wait, I want to remake E.T., but I want to display my displacement of having no father figure in my childhood, and I am so turned on by MEN in Uniforms, i.e. Star Trek, Can you say SPANDEX; Cloverfield, the U.S. Military, and this worthless amount of recorded digital, Again U.S. Military dressed actors. Stick em in a noisy BLEND TECH Mixer and this is what you get. Irritating and lousy acting from a bunch of youth, senseless scenes that contradict ALL MOVIE MAKE BELIEVE, and throw in some stupid. Well if that affects that, why not that Question. And there is STUPER AIN'T in a nutshell. I hope you learn your lesson J.J. or have you been hanging around with M. Night Shyamalan? Wait for REDBOX.

The Last Stand

Thank God for Redbox. If I had paid full price for this movie, I would have not been such a happy camper. This mess of a script starts off stupid, gets real dumb, ends up being extremely cheesy and predictable. The goes off the cliff. Not worth the $1.16 and the gas to get to the RedBox.

Jack the Giant Killer

Needs to be re-titled to "Jack the Career Killer". This is one very awful cheesy, amateur film.. Free on You Tube for a reason.

Pain & Gain
Pain & Gain(2013)

starts off dumb, gets somewhat interesting, then dumb again, with dork acting. Then I walked out.

Mud
Mud(2013)

In the recent past, several movies have been made, but unlike Mud, none have a real story that the common person can relate too. I grew up in Louisiana, in a small town. We learn with a friend as we grew up how life is; trusting that one individual with life itself and they do the same in turn for you. I met that "outsider" type of person and learned from them as well. Had the sly talk and convincing stare. As kids, you want to explore. This story does that for you. Allows the viewer to experience first hand a youthfulness that has long been forgotten by many. That want to explore and take risks.
Mud gives that experience and much more. Set in the deep south of the Mississippi River, an experience that unveils itself as original as anything ever made. Each character is different, no two the same. Each one their own story and life that once combined creates a great journey into a pinwheel that pivots off one man, Mud. Don't expect CGI or any special effects in this story, just great imagination that keeps you wanting to see the tale unveil.
Great scenery abounds, life lessons learned, and a few words and comments you might have forgotten as a kid.
Should you ever have the time it takes to watch a story that will keep you interested from start to finish. Mud is it. You may have to drive a distance to see this one, only select limited number of theaters are carrying this one because it is an independent film. But oh so worth the effort to experience it in a theater.
I must say this is HANDS down the best theatrical experience I have ever seen. Sorry Tombstone, I still love ya..

Oz the Great and Powerful
½

A movie made more children is what should have been the advertising push line. For adults; not so much. Great visuals, creative design, and great CGI. But for the acting, the beginning is very slow for me. James Franco seems to have lost his talent for giving the realism in his character or Sam Raimi does not have the skill to create a realistic character that keeps the viewer interested.
As with the Wizard of Oz, the overlapping character's from both worlds are done well. While in OZ, Franco's character is able to make things happen where in the real one he was not. Gaining the loyalty of a trusted few, I can see that "The Oz" will have the remake of the original coming soon.

The Possession

Pretty sad movie. What's even worse is that I really like Kyra Sedgwick as an actress. But I feel that whom ever had a part to the development and release of the sad piece of trash, should be barred from movie making for life. That was pathetic. I lasted 45 mins. Horrible acting..

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
½

It's worth seeing on Redbox. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of C.G.G. A nice script, just the C.G.G. killed it.. oh well..

Dr Seuss' The Lorax

Just rented this. Enjoyed it fully. Assuming that most will not see the social effort put into the film, I did. And it makes alot of sense to me. Unless...

Total Recall
Total Recall(2012)

Save your money. PLEASE, I beg you. Wait for RED BOX. Spoiler alert. Opens up boring, then an action scene, little bit of script, action scene, more boring dialog, chase scene, a word, chase scene, boring dialog, chase scene, something blows up, screen has flairs going through it constantly, chase scene, action scene, kiss, dialog. The end.
Even if this was not a remake, it is a failure in my view. Graphics is all it has going for it.

Prometheus
Prometheus(2012)

Just saw it. Time to retire from movie making Mr. Scott. That was a sad movie. Acting was decent, but characters displayed confusing traits, some of the plot settings made no sense. Bad homework.. I do not recommend it.

The Cabin in the Woods

It started off really boring and campy.
Then it got really stupid and boring.
Then even more stupid and boring.
And then I laughed.
But that was followed by a yawn.
And more ignorance in the movie.
After that extremely really stupid.
Then lame. Pathetic, depressing.
Then I realized I did not pay to see this time killer.
Then I laughed.
Had to go pee.
People were leaving the theater.
I am happy I did not pay for the movie.
The food was good.

The Three Stooges

I would not compare this movie to the original tv series of my youth; although there may be traits shared and the names are the same, the combination of decent acting in the movie does not meld correctly with the entire make up of the film its self. Having all the slap-stick physical comedy being performed withing the first 20 minutes of the film, seems to tire out the rest of the attempts at making it enjoyable.
There are some funny bits but not enough to make it a full 90 minutes to enjoy. I apologized to the nearest RedBox I saw on the way home for not spending my money on it.
Wait people, Wait..

Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol
½

Enjoyable, the set locations are great. Acting flawless, very predictable. The script is very original. I enjoyed it.

Sucker Punch
Sucker Punch(2011)

I have always been told that "Your first thought is most likely the right answer." I must not hear my thoughts well, this movie is as worthless and totally senseless as "THE LAST AIRBENDER" but with no plot.
To Zack Snyder, the director and writer of this failed attempt at a movie, that seems to be deemed as a motivational, self-awareness, and socially conciseness movie for the manically depressed part of society. I think you made things worse. What ever dreams you had as a child, those locked away experiences you had with your comic book clutched tightly in your sweaty palms as you slept as a child. FORGET ALL OF THEM.
The dreams you had as a "SPARTAN WARRIOR" defending with little help against something bigger than yourself, the other dream you had as "CHANGING SUPERHERO" going against beings with strange non-human powers, or the one good thing of being able to fly as a "GUARDIAN OWL" defending his own nest. The zombie thing, well, I turned that one off in the first 4 minutes; I don't watch movies because it was over-rated on MTV or the media in general.
This waste of POLY-CARBONATE that was used to help spread this disease of a script should be deemed a crime and your the cause of the VIRUS.
Please join J.J. Abrams in a corner and don't come out. EVER...

Cowboys & Aliens

Very entertaining and non stop. Some cheesy moments, but over all I liked it. Worth full price in my opinion.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Stupid. I want my $7 back please Michael Bay.... Major FAIL...

Returner
Returner(2002)
½

WOW, pretty impressive, was able to see this movie finally. Although a combination of recent movies, it was done with class and still kept me interested. I truly enjoyed it.

Black Swan
Black Swan(2010)

I wasted $3.40 at Blockbuster to see this crap? 88%? REALLY? Put down your wine, cheese, and poetry books and get a life. Aronofsky, it's your translation of something that is dead and gone, ballet. People only still go to this boring junk so they can mingle. This movie was long, drawn out, misleading, confusing and just out right boring. Enjoy your 1 hr 50 mins of fame. Congrats on your wins, but this movie was not worth my time. I do believe that the acting was great, just not displayed in a good way.

Tron Legacy
Tron Legacy(2010)

I rented it last night, GO REDBOX. Incredible graphics, some of the acting was in need of improvement as well as the script. But overall it was very ingenious on the part of Disney to recreate Jeff Bridges as a younger man, did a good job.

Kung-fu Master
½

More entertaining than "The last airbender". Nothing but fighting the entire movie, very minimal dialoge. Special effects are basic and just non-effective. Worth the REDBOX price

Micmacs (Micmacs  tire-larigot)
½

Originally saw the previews by chance on iTunes, this movie took me by surprise. Quirky and almost circus like, it's an obvious French movie, whom I am not a fan of the people, but DAMN LOVE THEIR FOOD. It gives the viewers a look into everyones personalities, showing that no matter who you are, you have a purpose in life, just need to find it. I highly recommend this movie and had I seen it in a theater, I would be just as happy to share the emotions and laughter I did when I watched it at home. Available at Blockbusters..
Very light sexual content, but done in good tastes.

Red
Red(2010)

Great story line, just REDBOXED it. Very entertaining. great acting. It's entertainment people, not a "Way to live your life".

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1
½

With a full theater, the excitement had built up in the beginning. Then the movie started...

How to Train Your Dragon

An absolute great movie. No down time, nothing slow about it. Well done, excellent graphics, thought out characters, and well put together. I advise everyone to see this.

Hereafter
Hereafter(2010)

Without asking for negative comments to posting, I would like to say from a man that does have this gift as well; I think Mr. Eastwood portrayed a great example of what type of life the likes of me and some others live. George, Matt Damon, does have a challenge in life, being someone the keeps to themselves, not really having a personal life. I personally don't have it badly using my gift, because luckily I don't advertise or try to make a living out of it. I feel as if there was a lot of thought went into making this movie. I enjoyed it i
immensely and will recommend others to see it.

The Crazies
The Crazies(2010)
½

Thought it looked great on previews. So last night I went to Blockbusters with a coupon and got it. It was not "GREAT" but not that bad, kinda been done before, not considering it's a remake. Just a type of expected type of movie. Have not seen the original version by Romero, figure it would be just as this one. Perhaps back in 1972 it would have been a bit more frightening to see. Starts off slow, then picks up steam towards the end. Still cheesy, I would it give it 4.5 slices out of 5. Unmelted, actually a bit on the stale side. See it on redbox, it's worth a buck.

Let Me In
Let Me In(2010)

Well, with the exception of paying $10 to see it. The overall movie is actually a refreshing twist on the vampire story. I am not familiar with others are stating is the original version, but I was bored at first, then it kicked it. Well done, actually . I give it three slices of cheese out of five. Good, but still a bit on the cheese side. I do recommend it. Of course during the day when cheaper.