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I was a little less worried about a third Annabelle movie than I was the second one, because, well this came off the back of that second one, and that second one was okay. But that second one came off the back of the first Annabelle movie... And that was a fucking disaster. Lots of people say that the whole Conjuring franchise is a cool thing, but nothing has come close to the quality of that first The Conjuring movie. Respectfully, I disagree. The franchise as a whole is okay, but not only is has something better come out post-The Conjuring, furthermore, I'm gonna go ahead and say that the first Conjuring movie isn't even really that good. The only entry I've given a favourable review ("favourable" here meaning "more than a 5 outta 10") iissss *dramatic pause* THIS O- no I'm kidding it's Conjuring 2. Conjuring 2 is the good one and everything else ranges from "alright" to "dumpster fire", and the first Annabelle is firmly at the bottom of that dumpster fire. What's the next best entry? The crème de la compètènt? It's... Oh my God I think it actually is this one... You guys is Annabelle Comes Home the closes thing we've got to a second good movie? ...Fuck... I'm pretty sure it is.
Midsommar might genuinely be my big disappointment for 2019. I'm not saying it's bad. But coming into this on the back of not only the crazy good Hereditary from last year, but also the gushing praise from the online horror community, I guess my expectations were a little high. It doesn't make me feel good to say it, but honestly I'm glad I didn't see this in the cinema. Firstly because I think I might've been a little mad if I had forked out $25 to see this, based on the experience I ended up happening, but also secondly, because I don't much feel like going blind in the theatre from the sheer white exposure that takes up 97% of Midsommar's runtime.
Full disclosure, I only watched Satanic Panic because I knew Clarke Wolfe was in it, and I wanted to support her work. Anyway, it turns out that she's only in about 9 seconds of this movie, so if that was all it had to offer, I would've felt very ripped off. Fortunately! That was not even close to the case. The partnership between Hayley Griffith's and Ruby Modine's characters only really takes off once the movie is already half-way done, but once it does it absolutely becomes the driving force behind Satanic Panic, to its massive benefit.
I am not a fan of romantic comedies. There are a couple of exceptions to that rule, but by and large, it's super not for me. Like I actively dislike most of these movies. Of those exceptions I was talking about though, almost all of them are recent releases. One of them even specifically has Alexandra Daddario in it! So, as much as I don't go in for the romantic comedy angle, I was willing to give Can You Keep a Secret? a chance. Unfortunately, I probably shouldn't have. It is a little different from the baseline RomCom I so despise, but it's still tetherd to the core concept by enough threads that I couldn't get behind it.
This actually was somehow better than I had being expecting based on that trailer. But it still very bad. Makes me miss the last Doom movie, which is... a devastating burn.