Tom's Review of Halloween
Rob Zombie decided that one of the scariest, most fascinating and prolific monsters of cinema needed to have his mysterious backstory told... Thanks to Rob's impeccable artistic vision, that mysterious backstory is finally revealed.... Michael Myers became what he is because... (drum roll) ..... kids in school were mean to him and his parents were fighting. Yup! THAT'S IT! If my calculations are correct, that makes .... well, let's be honest, I don't do calculations... but that basically makes half the population unstoppable maniacal serial killers made driven by pure evil.
Kudos, Rob Zombie! Thanks for taking what could have been a really cool origin story and dumbing it down to your own childhood. Daddy didn't love this movie enough, either.